July 28, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode of Joyously Free!, host Joanie Lindenmeyer talks with Mary Anne Trailor about cultivating joy and maintaining a positive outlook on life. Mary Anne shares her strategies for coping with challenges, such as engaging in meditative crafts, which she finds therapeutic and calming. She discusses her love for vibrant, colorful clothing as a […]
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Episode Transcript
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(00:11):
Hi. And welcome KCIW listeners at one hundred
point seven and of course, kciw.org.
Here we are in Brookings, Oregon. So this
is the joyously free show that I do,
Joni Lindenmeyer. I'm also the author of None
Better, but I'm a resident of Harbor, Oregon
and have been for thirty four years. I'm
a retired Del Norte High School teacher, and
as you just heard, I'm a best selling
(00:32):
author. Three books in two years. Wahoo.
Well, you know how we start every show,
all you listeners. We start with my morning
salutation, and I'll teach that to my guest
speaker today who will also be joining us.
And it's it's a brand new day, and
then you get to respond with never been
lived before.
Here we go, everybody.
It's a brand new day.
(00:54):
Never been lived before. Woo hoo. We got
it. We got it. So this radio, gay
dio show, as Will and Viv named it,
is the show that talks about LGBTQ
plus stories and tips along with religion,
church, faith, spirituality,
and
joy.
Simply put, the purpose of the show is
to share, radiate, and spread that abundant joy
(01:16):
and freedom. Hence, the title of the show,
Joyously Free. It is also the title of
my second book that I coauthored with Elizabeth
Ann Atkins of 2sisterswriting.com.
So this radio show, as you know, we
don't use any hate speech,
no hate behaviors in the room here, and,
of course, no bullying. We blast it forth
with the three c's,
(01:37):
courage, confidence, and collaboration.
We seek understanding,
and we think out of the box.
Our special guest today is just sitting right
across from me, sparkling, sparkling, sparkling. You know,
this is prerecorded, and we're doing it in
the month of June. And she is sparkling
rainbow. I'm not gonna tell you any more
about her until just a few minutes.
So as we start every show, you know
(01:58):
I always like to begin with prayer. And
so let us open our hearts, ask our
creator to shine light on our community and
our world.
I excitedly believe in hope, in the power
of the divine,
and that Jesus,
God, whatever name you put on a higher
being is always with you and always with
me.
So we do not need to be afraid
(02:19):
or troubled,
saddened or depressed.
Joy and peace are an internal expression of
love and harmony that is already within us,
and all we have to do is just
reach deep within and let it out.
So let's center ourselves
as we can talk to our lord, our
god, our creator, our redeemer.
(02:41):
Let's breathe in
with good
and out with doubt.
Again, take a breath through your nose,
in with hope,
and out with any fears.
One last time,
(03:01):
take a big deep breath in
with joy
and confidence
and out with worry or despair.
Holy god, our reading today is something I
picked out of my calendar.
It's not something from the Bible today, lord,
but it is something from my calendar.
(03:23):
And it says,
be your own kind of beautiful.
I'm gonna repeat that.
Be your own kind of beautiful.
Lord
god, when I read that this morning in
my prayers, all I could think about was
the person that I was going to be
interviewing today and how she is definitely
(03:44):
her own kind of beautiful,
always radiating with a smile. And I guess
that's my reflection today.
Imagine if every single one of us put
on great big smiles today as we walked
around town or we did our meetings or
went to school or have our jobs or
taking care of our loved ones at home
or walking the dog, but just to have
(04:05):
a beaming smile all day long, and what
an impact that would have on our world.
And I know. I just have this feeling
that when Jesus walked the planet, that he
had great great big smiles, and so did
his disciples and apostles, the men and the
women that were following him and learning from
him. And so, Lord, thank you for this
(04:26):
gracious day. Thank you for putting smiles on
our faces, and let us do your will
in your name.
Amen.
Amen. Amen.
So that's our prayer, but meanwhile, I've got
this beaming lady staring at me in the
face, and I wanna introduce introduce you to
her. Her name is Mary Ann Traylor.
(04:47):
Our topic today is don't worry, be happy.
Attitude is everything.
I have known Mary for a while, but
I'm gonna let her explain how we met,
and then we're gonna move into an incredible
interview about attitude and don't worry, be happy.
Mary, thank you for being here. Oh. Thank
you for inviting me. This is a real
thrill. Have you ever been on radio before?
(05:09):
I I recorded a commercial once Okay. Long
time ago. Okay. But, So this is a
radio debut. This is a radio debut. Oh
my gosh. Fantastic. So so, Mary, tell our
listeners, how did you and I meet?
You and I met through Carol Tierheimer.
I had a job my life. Yes. Well,
(05:31):
fantastic woman.
And I,
got a job working for the same company
that she worked at. I was the office
support, and she was a case manager. Mhmm.
And the first time you and I met
was when,
those of us from the office
went to Carol in your house to pick
up Carol for an all staff meeting in
(05:52):
another city.
Okay. And so we were at your house,
and you were there, and that's how we
met. I'll be darned. I don't even remember
that. Isn't that crazy? I remember your house.
It was beautiful.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The
the little call the little cottage, I guess,
is more like it. Yes. Yes. So that's
cozy cozy cottage. Good stuff. And that was
a good whopping thirty plus years ago. Oh,
(06:13):
yeah. Yeah. That was a long, long time
ago. Right. Right. When I was young. Yeah.
So meanwhile, I am assuming you're not working
for that business anymore. No. What are you
up to? And and what does your what
does every day look like for you? Well,
I've retired,
and I'm still trying to figure out what
retirement means
Okay. And what I'm going to do.
(06:35):
At this point, I've fallen back on what
I did during the COVID lockdown, which was
doing crafts.
Okay.
So I'm doing a lot of crafts.
And I in particular, I enjoy doing,
what's called diamond dot
craft, which explain that to me. It's it's
kind of a paint by number, but instead
(07:00):
sequins, but they're three-dimensional.
Okay. And they're very small. And you have
this little tool, and you pick them up
with the tool, and you stick it onto
the
canvas, which has adhesive on it. Okay.
And you create pictures. And and the kits
will already have the picture on there, and
so you just get the right colors in
the right areas. And,
and you'll have something that is
(07:23):
very beautiful, very special. I really enjoy doing
it. Wow. Lot of people would think it
was tedious
because it's pick it up, put it down.
Pick it up, put it down. But I
just find that very,
meditative.
Oh, good word. Yeah. That goes with attitude.
Yes. Oh my gosh. So when I get
(07:44):
disturbed or, you know, life is starting to
get me down, I'll just
focus on this. Mhmm.
And because it's very simple, I can let
my mind wander
and
come to grips with whatever is bothering me
in life. I'll be darned. What a great
way to meditate and and solve some worries
that you might have. You and I'm guessing
(08:05):
just based upon the color that you're wearing
today, including your fingernail
polish. Oh, talk to me about your fingernail
polish, and then I wanna take that back
to your diamond dots. Well, it I started
doing this last
last year in for June.
I wanted rainbow
nails.
Now in the past, I've had nails, and
and my nail tech has painted rainbows on
(08:28):
them. But I decided I wanted
each nail to be a different shade of
the rainbow all in order.
The only color I don't have on my
nails is the yellow. Oh. Because I start
with the thumb as green, then I have
blue,
then
purple, then red, and then orange.
So if I had a sixth finger, it
(08:48):
would be yellow. I love it. I love
it. Good deal. We did that on both
hands. And then because I like bling, and
I've just decided I'm not going to hide
that anymore
Right.
She puts, different colors of,
glitter
on them. So, like, the orange has an
orange glitter.
(09:08):
The red has red glitter, purple glitter,
blue glitter, and green glitter. Fan. So they
sparkle. You do sparkle. You and that's one
of my favorite words is sparkle. But it
also comes from Carol when she would always
say, wear bright colors. And you have your
purple hair today. You have your gorgeous rainbow
(09:28):
beaded earrings.
You have a a headpiece there that's rainbow
colors. You're in a rainbow dress. You have
a rainbow watch. You know? And so people
think, well, you know, you must be gay.
Do they say that? You must be gay.
I've never had anyone
actually ask me if I was gay. Uh-huh.
Although my best friend,
(09:50):
Cheryl
and I used to go a lot of
places together,
And,
we both went through bariatric surgery together and
a bunch of other things. So we were
traveling, and we'd spend the night,
at a hotel in Medford or something like
that and share the room.
And I've often wondered if people thought the
two of us were a couple.
(10:12):
Who knows what people think? I know. It
doesn't really matter.
But you do have a a person in
your life that is very, very precious to
you, and that's your husband. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I'm very proud of my husband. He is
a wonderful person. Right now, he's building a
prefab shed. Oh, okay. Okay. Good. Good. Though
I bought him for
(10:33):
Father's Day, and our wedding anniversary fell on
the same day this year.
And so I bought him this shed for
Father's Day and an anniversary gift. Wow. Wow.
And I bet you you had a a
celebration. I bet you had a celebration. Did
you? It was it was nice. It was
a nice actually, I didn't tell him about
it. And when it arrived, it was two
huge boxes, and I said,
(10:56):
I bought a shed.
I'm going, you did what? I Said, I
bought a shed. Cool. Cool. Well and I
know you're very spontaneous. Your attitude is always
numero uno. Out of all the people in
Brookings, I have to tell you, you've gotta
be in the top five, positive attitude and
positivity. You know? Where does that come from
for you?
Well, I've got to say
(11:18):
it it does it comes from within.
You know? It does come from within where
joy comes from. Mhmm.
And it comes from
feeling that every every hour is precious. Every
day is precious. Every person
is precious.
And
(11:38):
I know, for me, if I'm having a
bad day and I'm out in the world
and someone smiles at me,
that lifts me up. Mhmm.
So I want to be that light for
other people.
Oh. And so when I'm out and about,
the grin is there. Yes. And the spontaneous
(12:00):
conversation
is there.
I like I'm like my mother. My mother
was the same way. Uh-huh. She never met
anyone.
There were no strangers.
There were just people you haven't met yet.
Everybody's heard that old saying. Mhmm. Mhmm. But
it's true because I will strike up conversation
(12:20):
with a total stranger in a parking lot
and share with them, and they share with
me. And my husband is just stands there
in his dumbfounded.
It's like, really? Come on. We we need
to go. Okay. Yes. I'm sorry. But, you
know, we were just having such a wonderful
conversation
in the store.
If I see someone and,
for example, if I were to run into
(12:42):
you at the store right now, I would
I admire your necklace.
It's absolutely beautiful. When I came in and
I saw that, it's gorgeous. Well, thank you.
Thank you. Very pretty. And so I know
that for me, if someone says, oh, I
like your hair,
it makes me feel good. Right. Which strangely
enough, since I started dyeing it purple,
(13:03):
I found
that I do get compliments
on my hair. Mhmm. And a lot of
them, I would say most of them,
don't come from the young people.
They come from the older men.
The senior aged men Mhmm. Will see, and
that's exactly what I would the opposite of
what I expected to happen. Mhmm. So it
(13:26):
really makes me feel good Right. And very
happy. And and
I just smiled back and thanked them because
it if it brightens your day, it brightens
mine. There you go. Oh my god. You
know? And compliments, they are the best way
to engage in a conversation and to make
a new friend. Yes. True? Yes. Absolutely.
Absolutely.
(13:47):
And
I believe that no matter who you are,
no matter what you look like, no matter
what you're wearing, no matter what you're doing,
I can find something that I genuinely
admire.
I I haven't yet met someone that there's
nothing
that I can
see or hear or experience with them that
(14:08):
I can't say, wow. That's neat.
That's so cool. That's and that's exactly who
you are. That's exactly who you are. And
you talked about coming from came from your
mom because your mom was that way. Yes.
So when you grew up, that was just
a part of who you were. Yeah. You
know? And if you took it the opposite
way, if you grew up in a family
that didn't have that, that would be very,
very, very different.
(14:30):
Well, yes. Definitely.
And then again,
in my household, when growing up in my
family, my father was a psychologist.
Oh. And he did have private practice in
the home.
And so every most nights, not every night,
but most weekend weeknights, we'd have to be
very, very quiet after dinner
(14:51):
because the people would come in.
And
for me, it was always daddy has people
in. Mhmm. Mhmm.
They weren't referred to as patients or clients.
Daddy has people in. And it took me
years to realize that not everybody's daddy had
people in at night.
You to you, it was normal. It was
normal. To me, that was normal. Yeah. And
(15:12):
And I love the people part. Not a
patient, not a client. Nope. People.
People in. Mhmm. Yep. We have to be
quiet because daddy has people in. And
so, you know, my older sisters and I,
we would do our own thing as long
as we were being quiet.
Now, unfortunately,
I wasn't always able to be quiet. Oh.
And why is that, Mary Anne? She is.
(15:35):
Because I would be watching television. It would
be turned way low,
but I would be watching Canadian
television, which is also British television, and I'd
be watching comedies.
And I just couldn't help but laugh.
Yes. And sometimes, my dad would poke his
head out of the office and say, you
(15:55):
gotta keep it down.
Okay. Sorry, dad. You know? Yep. Yep. Yep.
Oh my gosh. That's awesome. That's awesome. So
we know about your mom and your dad.
We know about your husband.
What are other people who are other people
that bring out the joy in you in
our community? Oh, it well,
not necessarily in our community, but in my
life is my daughter. Okay. My daughter, Jen,
(16:18):
is my pride and joy, the apple of
my eye.
She is
she is everything I would want in a
daughter Oh. You know, in a child.
And
her coming to be
was the timing was very off.
Now I do believe in joy, and I
(16:38):
believe that you choose joy. Mhmm. Mhmm. Before
she was born, we had a son.
And he was born with a malformed heart.
Oh. He did survive his initial surgeries, and
he had many surgeries.
But, eventually, he passed when he was just
shy of three years old. Oh. Nine months
later, my daughter was born.
(16:59):
So I was going through some difficult times.
Both Mark and I were going through some
difficult times while I was pregnant with her,
but we got some therapy,
and,
I continued
it's hard to go through grief and pregnancy
at the same time. I cannot even imagine
that. Yeah. It is really hard. But
our son was a blessing.
(17:22):
Mhmm. He was a miracle child. He was
the first to survive
the surgery that they did on his heart.
Mhmm. And it just
was God's will. We were living in Portland,
and he was born at the University Hospital
right across the skywalk from Doernbecher.
So right away, he got first class care.
(17:45):
And And and Doernbecher is the children's hospital.
The children's hospital. I want to clarify that
for real Sorry. Listeners. Doernbecher Children's Hospital. And,
he got excellent care right away. His,
surgeons were
top class
in the country,
and,
he was a success.
(18:06):
They considered him a success, because he actually
lived to come home. Oh, okay. Not only
did he live through the surgery, but he
lived to come home and spent
the majority of his life
at home as a regular child. Mhmm. Mhmm.
But,
when we lost him Mhmm. And it was
it we he had a pacemaker, and the
he had an irregular heartbeat
(18:28):
while he was with his doctors. Mhmm. And
so he had immediate,
care,
but they couldn't get the heart going again,
and they couldn't get the pacemaker going
again. So it was just meant for him
to pass at that time. Mhmm. Mhmm. And
had he not passed at that time, I
wouldn't have the daughter that I have because
(18:49):
we were going to wait to have another
child until he was past his critical point.
Mhmm.
But,
and I got pregnant
within two days.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That wasn't intentional.
That was we were married for two years
before we had James. Mhmm. And
we've I figured, you know, okay. It'll take
some time before we have another child.
(19:12):
And
he died on March 19,
and her
due date
was
January 20.
But she was a c section, so they
took her a week early. So she was
actually born on the thirteenth. Mhmm. But if
you do the math, you'll see that the
(19:32):
twentieth is nine months and a day from
the time that he passed away.
But, it
I have come to realize and to feel
that that
having him
in our lives and losing him was all
part of the plan.
It was all part to show us that,
yes, you can have great joy.
(19:52):
You can have great sorrow,
and
something good will come out of everything.
Yes. I mean,
we lost our son, but we gained a
daughter. Yes.
Yes. We went through some dare difficult times
with his birth defect,
but we gained
(20:13):
knowledge
and care for others.
Mhmm. Mhmm. And so, you know, it's I've
always felt that no matter what terrible, horrible
thing happens in my life,
there's a reason for it to happen. God
has a plan. Mhmm. Mhmm. And there is
a there's a reason for it to happen
so it will end up joyful.
(20:34):
Absolutely. It will end up with a positive.
And every negative in the world has that
positive as an opposite.
Yep. You know? And when when your life
takes you down into the into the dumps
and into the basement,
All you gotta do is look up and
start climbing those stairs, and you're back up
on the Third Floor again. There you go.
(20:56):
Oh my god. You have so many mic
drops there. That was so beautifully said. Oh,
articulate and and and heartfelt because I absolutely
agree. I think the saddest thing in my
life was when Carol did die Yes. And
that grief that grief. You know? And then
you find that joy that just somehow bursts
outside of Yeah. Outside, and it it just
(21:16):
is amazing. So tell me a little bit
more about your daughter, Jen.
Well, she,
was raised here in Brookings. She was born
in Portland.
K. But then we moved here when she
was six weeks old, and so she was
raised here in town
and, going through the school district,
here.
And when it came time for her to
(21:37):
graduate and go to college, she chose,
Ashland,
Southern Oregon University. Awesome place.
Show it she would be close. It's also
a small town, so she's used to small
town living.
And,
I gave her one piece of advice
for for college.
Actually, I gave her two. But the first
(21:59):
one was,
whatever classes you take, whatever you decide to
major in,
take some business courses.
Learn learn some business courses because they can
help you with no matter what you plan
to do in your life. If nothing else,
it'll help you do your taxes. Exactly. You
know?
So when she had to declare a major,
(22:19):
she declared,
business. Oh, okay. Entrepreneurial
business.
And,
enjoyed it,
very much
until the last year when they made some
changes in the curriculum, and they were gonna
make her go through a freshman class
that they weren't offering when she was a
freshman.
And she also she took a year off
(22:41):
to help a friend who was dying.
Oh. And
she,
without training or anything else, became a death
doula. Oh,
okeydokey. Wow.
And and she has
performed
those duties for two different people. The first
was, Billy Rose, who's a good friend of
(23:03):
hers. Mhmm. And the second was,
her
she calls her mama san Oh. Which was
a
a woman that she adopted and that adopted
her in Ashland. Mhmm. And
she and she had cancer and passed. And
Jennifer
spent time with her and helped
(23:24):
her and her family through
her loss. Wow. And Wow. She's often thought
about, you know,
everybody hears about birthing doulas. Right.
But you don't hear about death doulas. Yeah.
But they are a thing. You bet. And
it's just as important to help
the person who is terminal and their family
(23:45):
find peace,
and
that's a really
great thing Oh my god. Provide for people.
And she is a very positive person,
and she's even more eclectic than I am
in my own.
Well and and by going through that with
the with the people she's with, she'll be
(24:05):
able to bring the joy because she knows
the joy is at the end of the
story as well. Yes. She does. True? Yes.
She does. Very true. Oh, Mary Anne, this
is, like, incredible. The time goes by so
fast. Can you give any final comments or
hopes or joys or recommendations
or tips to our listeners out there today
about attitude and about joy?
One thing that has seen me through the
(24:27):
worst of the worst
is the phrase, this too shall pass. Oh.
And I could have sworn it was a
Bible verse.
Mhmm. And I looked it up one day,
and it's not in the bible.
It's an a saying from I Ching,
which is a an oriental you know, an
Asian,
(24:47):
philosophy and religion.
But it has seen me through so many
bad times. This too shall pass. When you're
down in the dumps,
it will go away eventually, and you will
rise back up again. Yes. And so it's
when I'm feeling bad,
I just know this is gonna pass. It's
not permanent.
(25:08):
Oh, that is that is beautiful. That is
a great final comment because we can all
relate to that because we all go through
stuff Yeah. And this too shall pass. And
I can tell from your eyeballs right now
that are just glistening. It's so true for
you. Oh my gosh. Fantastic. Fantastic.
Well, I wanna thank you for being here
and sharing your attitude, sharing your joy, telling
(25:28):
us your stories,
and and just exuding exuding love and joy.
And around town, everybody, be ready because you'll
find out Mary Ann Traylor will probably come
up to you and say hi with her
big smile and engage you in conversation. And
if you don't feel like talking to her,
it's okay. Just smile back. So beautiful listeners,
thank you so much for being in with
us today. You're all here on the Southern
(25:51):
Oregon Coast, the Northern California Coast. We hope
you've been inspired and challenged and enjoyed, Mary
Anne, just as much as I have.
Thank you, Tom, for being on the sound
today. We have Doris, and we have Rose,
and we have Candice always helping us. You
can find more information on kciw.org
or at me at 2sisterswriting.com,
including if you're looking for any of my
(26:12):
books, they're at the local library. So Chetco
Library, Port Orford, Del Norte, Forecastle, they're all
over the places, you know, and and Mary
Ann New Carroll, and that's what the books
are all about. We also wanna just jump
in here and remind everybody that it's summertime,
And the joy in the summertime also deals
with music
and colors and events going on in our
community. And like I said before, you will
(26:34):
see Mary Anne around town. You will see
me around town, and just enjoy the day,
Have big big smiles and wear bright colors
from all of us here at KCIW.
Love you lots. Bye.
Hi. And welcome KCIW listeners at one hundred
point seven and of course, kciw.org.
Here we are in Brookings, Oregon. So this
is the joyously free show that I do,
Joni Lindenmeyer. I'm also the author of None
Better, but I'm a resident of Harbor, Oregon
and have been for thirty four years. I'm
a retired Del Norte High School teacher, and
as you just heard, I'm a best selling
(00:32):
author. Three books in two years. Wahoo.
Well, you know how we start every show,
all you listeners. We start with my morning
salutation, and I'll teach that to my guest
speaker today who will also be joining us.
And it's it's a brand new day, and
then you get to respond with never been
lived before.
Here we go, everybody.
It's a brand new day.
(00:54):
Never been lived before. Woo hoo. We got
it. We got it. So this radio, gay
dio show, as Will and Viv named it,
is the show that talks about LGBTQ
plus stories and tips along with religion,
church, faith, spirituality,
and
joy.
Simply put, the purpose of the show is
to share, radiate, and spread that abundant joy
(01:16):
and freedom. Hence, the title of the show,
Joyously Free. It is also the title of
my second book that I coauthored with Elizabeth
Ann Atkins of 2sisterswriting.com.
So this radio show, as you know, we
don't use any hate speech,
no hate behaviors in the room here, and,
of course, no bullying. We blast it forth
with the three c's,
(01:37):
courage, confidence, and collaboration.
We seek understanding,
and we think out of the box.
Our special guest today is just sitting right
across from me, sparkling, sparkling, sparkling. You know,
this is prerecorded, and we're doing it in
the month of June. And she is sparkling
rainbow. I'm not gonna tell you any more
about her until just a few minutes.
So as we start every show, you know
(01:58):
I always like to begin with prayer. And
so let us open our hearts, ask our
creator to shine light on our community and
our world.
I excitedly believe in hope, in the power
of the divine,
and that Jesus,
God, whatever name you put on a higher
being is always with you and always with
me.
So we do not need to be afraid
(02:19):
or troubled,
saddened or depressed.
Joy and peace are an internal expression of
love and harmony that is already within us,
and all we have to do is just
reach deep within and let it out.
So let's center ourselves
as we can talk to our lord, our
god, our creator, our redeemer.
(02:41):
Let's breathe in
with good
and out with doubt.
Again, take a breath through your nose,
in with hope,
and out with any fears.
One last time,
(03:01):
take a big deep breath in
with joy
and confidence
and out with worry or despair.
Holy god, our reading today is something I
picked out of my calendar.
It's not something from the Bible today, lord,
but it is something from my calendar.
(03:23):
And it says,
be your own kind of beautiful.
I'm gonna repeat that.
Be your own kind of beautiful.
Lord
god, when I read that this morning in
my prayers, all I could think about was
the person that I was going to be
interviewing today and how she is definitely
(03:44):
her own kind of beautiful,
always radiating with a smile. And I guess
that's my reflection today.
Imagine if every single one of us put
on great big smiles today as we walked
around town or we did our meetings or
went to school or have our jobs or
taking care of our loved ones at home
or walking the dog, but just to have
(04:05):
a beaming smile all day long, and what
an impact that would have on our world.
And I know. I just have this feeling
that when Jesus walked the planet, that he
had great great big smiles, and so did
his disciples and apostles, the men and the
women that were following him and learning from
him. And so, Lord, thank you for this
(04:26):
gracious day. Thank you for putting smiles on
our faces, and let us do your will
in your name.
Amen.
Amen. Amen.
So that's our prayer, but meanwhile, I've got
this beaming lady staring at me in the
face, and I wanna introduce introduce you to
her. Her name is Mary Ann Traylor.
(04:47):
Our topic today is don't worry, be happy.
Attitude is everything.
I have known Mary for a while, but
I'm gonna let her explain how we met,
and then we're gonna move into an incredible
interview about attitude and don't worry, be happy.
Mary, thank you for being here. Oh. Thank
you for inviting me. This is a real
thrill. Have you ever been on radio before?
(05:09):
I I recorded a commercial once Okay. Long
time ago. Okay. But, So this is a
radio debut. This is a radio debut. Oh
my gosh. Fantastic. So so, Mary, tell our
listeners, how did you and I meet?
You and I met through Carol Tierheimer.
I had a job my life. Yes. Well,
(05:31):
fantastic woman.
And I,
got a job working for the same company
that she worked at. I was the office
support, and she was a case manager. Mhmm.
And the first time you and I met
was when,
those of us from the office
went to Carol in your house to pick
up Carol for an all staff meeting in
(05:52):
another city.
Okay. And so we were at your house,
and you were there, and that's how we
met. I'll be darned. I don't even remember
that. Isn't that crazy? I remember your house.
It was beautiful.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The
the little call the little cottage, I guess,
is more like it. Yes. Yes. So that's
cozy cozy cottage. Good stuff. And that was
a good whopping thirty plus years ago. Oh,
(06:13):
yeah. Yeah. That was a long, long time
ago. Right. Right. When I was young. Yeah.
So meanwhile, I am assuming you're not working
for that business anymore. No. What are you
up to? And and what does your what
does every day look like for you? Well,
I've retired,
and I'm still trying to figure out what
retirement means
Okay. And what I'm going to do.
(06:35):
At this point, I've fallen back on what
I did during the COVID lockdown, which was
doing crafts.
Okay.
So I'm doing a lot of crafts.
And I in particular, I enjoy doing,
what's called diamond dot
craft, which explain that to me. It's it's
kind of a paint by number, but instead
(07:00):
sequins, but they're three-dimensional.
Okay. And they're very small. And you have
this little tool, and you pick them up
with the tool, and you stick it onto
the
canvas, which has adhesive on it. Okay.
And you create pictures. And and the kits
will already have the picture on there, and
so you just get the right colors in
the right areas. And,
and you'll have something that is
(07:23):
very beautiful, very special. I really enjoy doing
it. Wow. Lot of people would think it
was tedious
because it's pick it up, put it down.
Pick it up, put it down. But I
just find that very,
meditative.
Oh, good word. Yeah. That goes with attitude.
Yes. Oh my gosh. So when I get
(07:44):
disturbed or, you know, life is starting to
get me down, I'll just
focus on this. Mhmm.
And because it's very simple, I can let
my mind wander
and
come to grips with whatever is bothering me
in life. I'll be darned. What a great
way to meditate and and solve some worries
that you might have. You and I'm guessing
(08:05):
just based upon the color that you're wearing
today, including your fingernail
polish. Oh, talk to me about your fingernail
polish, and then I wanna take that back
to your diamond dots. Well, it I started
doing this last
last year in for June.
I wanted rainbow
nails.
Now in the past, I've had nails, and
and my nail tech has painted rainbows on
(08:28):
them. But I decided I wanted
each nail to be a different shade of
the rainbow all in order.
The only color I don't have on my
nails is the yellow. Oh. Because I start
with the thumb as green, then I have
blue,
then
purple, then red, and then orange.
So if I had a sixth finger, it
(08:48):
would be yellow. I love it. I love
it. Good deal. We did that on both
hands. And then because I like bling, and
I've just decided I'm not going to hide
that anymore
Right.
She puts, different colors of,
glitter
on them. So, like, the orange has an
orange glitter.
(09:08):
The red has red glitter, purple glitter,
blue glitter, and green glitter. Fan. So they
sparkle. You do sparkle. You and that's one
of my favorite words is sparkle. But it
also comes from Carol when she would always
say, wear bright colors. And you have your
purple hair today. You have your gorgeous rainbow
(09:28):
beaded earrings.
You have a a headpiece there that's rainbow
colors. You're in a rainbow dress. You have
a rainbow watch. You know? And so people
think, well, you know, you must be gay.
Do they say that? You must be gay.
I've never had anyone
actually ask me if I was gay. Uh-huh.
Although my best friend,
(09:50):
Cheryl
and I used to go a lot of
places together,
And,
we both went through bariatric surgery together and
a bunch of other things. So we were
traveling, and we'd spend the night,
at a hotel in Medford or something like
that and share the room.
And I've often wondered if people thought the
two of us were a couple.
(10:12):
Who knows what people think? I know. It
doesn't really matter.
But you do have a a person in
your life that is very, very precious to
you, and that's your husband. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I'm very proud of my husband. He is
a wonderful person. Right now, he's building a
prefab shed. Oh, okay. Okay. Good. Good. Though
I bought him for
(10:33):
Father's Day, and our wedding anniversary fell on
the same day this year.
And so I bought him this shed for
Father's Day and an anniversary gift. Wow. Wow.
And I bet you you had a a
celebration. I bet you had a celebration. Did
you? It was it was nice. It was
a nice actually, I didn't tell him about
it. And when it arrived, it was two
huge boxes, and I said,
(10:56):
I bought a shed.
I'm going, you did what? I Said, I
bought a shed. Cool. Cool. Well and I
know you're very spontaneous. Your attitude is always
numero uno. Out of all the people in
Brookings, I have to tell you, you've gotta
be in the top five, positive attitude and
positivity. You know? Where does that come from
for you?
Well, I've got to say
(11:18):
it it does it comes from within.
You know? It does come from within where
joy comes from. Mhmm.
And it comes from
feeling that every every hour is precious. Every
day is precious. Every person
is precious.
And
(11:38):
I know, for me, if I'm having a
bad day and I'm out in the world
and someone smiles at me,
that lifts me up. Mhmm.
So I want to be that light for
other people.
Oh. And so when I'm out and about,
the grin is there. Yes. And the spontaneous
(12:00):
conversation
is there.
I like I'm like my mother. My mother
was the same way. Uh-huh. She never met
anyone.
There were no strangers.
There were just people you haven't met yet.
Everybody's heard that old saying. Mhmm. Mhmm. But
it's true because I will strike up conversation
(12:20):
with a total stranger in a parking lot
and share with them, and they share with
me. And my husband is just stands there
in his dumbfounded.
It's like, really? Come on. We we need
to go. Okay. Yes. I'm sorry. But, you
know, we were just having such a wonderful
conversation
in the store.
If I see someone and,
for example, if I were to run into
(12:42):
you at the store right now, I would
I admire your necklace.
It's absolutely beautiful. When I came in and
I saw that, it's gorgeous. Well, thank you.
Thank you. Very pretty. And so I know
that for me, if someone says, oh, I
like your hair,
it makes me feel good. Right. Which strangely
enough, since I started dyeing it purple,
(13:03):
I found
that I do get compliments
on my hair. Mhmm. And a lot of
them, I would say most of them,
don't come from the young people.
They come from the older men.
The senior aged men Mhmm. Will see, and
that's exactly what I would the opposite of
what I expected to happen. Mhmm. So it
(13:26):
really makes me feel good Right. And very
happy. And and
I just smiled back and thanked them because
it if it brightens your day, it brightens
mine. There you go. Oh my god. You
know? And compliments, they are the best way
to engage in a conversation and to make
a new friend. Yes. True? Yes. Absolutely.
Absolutely.
(13:47):
And
I believe that no matter who you are,
no matter what you look like, no matter
what you're wearing, no matter what you're doing,
I can find something that I genuinely
admire.
I I haven't yet met someone that there's
nothing
that I can
see or hear or experience with them that
(14:08):
I can't say, wow. That's neat.
That's so cool. That's and that's exactly who
you are. That's exactly who you are. And
you talked about coming from came from your
mom because your mom was that way. Yes.
So when you grew up, that was just
a part of who you were. Yeah. You
know? And if you took it the opposite
way, if you grew up in a family
that didn't have that, that would be very,
very, very different.
(14:30):
Well, yes. Definitely.
And then again,
in my household, when growing up in my
family, my father was a psychologist.
Oh. And he did have private practice in
the home.
And so every most nights, not every night,
but most weekend weeknights, we'd have to be
very, very quiet after dinner
(14:51):
because the people would come in.
And
for me, it was always daddy has people
in. Mhmm. Mhmm.
They weren't referred to as patients or clients.
Daddy has people in. And it took me
years to realize that not everybody's daddy had
people in at night.
You to you, it was normal. It was
normal. To me, that was normal. Yeah. And
(15:12):
And I love the people part. Not a
patient, not a client. Nope. People.
People in. Mhmm. Yep. We have to be
quiet because daddy has people in. And
so, you know, my older sisters and I,
we would do our own thing as long
as we were being quiet.
Now, unfortunately,
I wasn't always able to be quiet. Oh.
And why is that, Mary Anne? She is.
(15:35):
Because I would be watching television. It would
be turned way low,
but I would be watching Canadian
television, which is also British television, and I'd
be watching comedies.
And I just couldn't help but laugh.
Yes. And sometimes, my dad would poke his
head out of the office and say, you
(15:55):
gotta keep it down.
Okay. Sorry, dad. You know? Yep. Yep. Yep.
Oh my gosh. That's awesome. That's awesome. So
we know about your mom and your dad.
We know about your husband.
What are other people who are other people
that bring out the joy in you in
our community? Oh, it well,
not necessarily in our community, but in my
life is my daughter. Okay. My daughter, Jen,
(16:18):
is my pride and joy, the apple of
my eye.
She is
she is everything I would want in a
daughter Oh. You know, in a child.
And
her coming to be
was the timing was very off.
Now I do believe in joy, and I
(16:38):
believe that you choose joy. Mhmm. Mhmm. Before
she was born, we had a son.
And he was born with a malformed heart.
Oh. He did survive his initial surgeries, and
he had many surgeries.
But, eventually, he passed when he was just
shy of three years old. Oh. Nine months
later, my daughter was born.
(16:59):
So I was going through some difficult times.
Both Mark and I were going through some
difficult times while I was pregnant with her,
but we got some therapy,
and,
I continued
it's hard to go through grief and pregnancy
at the same time. I cannot even imagine
that. Yeah. It is really hard. But
our son was a blessing.
(17:22):
Mhmm. He was a miracle child. He was
the first to survive
the surgery that they did on his heart.
Mhmm. And it just
was God's will. We were living in Portland,
and he was born at the University Hospital
right across the skywalk from Doernbecher.
So right away, he got first class care.
(17:45):
And And and Doernbecher is the children's hospital.
The children's hospital. I want to clarify that
for real Sorry. Listeners. Doernbecher Children's Hospital. And,
he got excellent care right away. His,
surgeons were
top class
in the country,
and,
he was a success.
(18:06):
They considered him a success, because he actually
lived to come home. Oh, okay. Not only
did he live through the surgery, but he
lived to come home and spent
the majority of his life
at home as a regular child. Mhmm. Mhmm.
But,
when we lost him Mhmm. And it was
it we he had a pacemaker, and the
he had an irregular heartbeat
(18:28):
while he was with his doctors. Mhmm. And
so he had immediate,
care,
but they couldn't get the heart going again,
and they couldn't get the pacemaker going
again. So it was just meant for him
to pass at that time. Mhmm. Mhmm. And
had he not passed at that time, I
wouldn't have the daughter that I have because
(18:49):
we were going to wait to have another
child until he was past his critical point.
Mhmm.
But,
and I got pregnant
within two days.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That wasn't intentional.
That was we were married for two years
before we had James. Mhmm. And
we've I figured, you know, okay. It'll take
some time before we have another child.
(19:12):
And
he died on March 19,
and her
due date
was
January 20.
But she was a c section, so they
took her a week early. So she was
actually born on the thirteenth. Mhmm. But if
you do the math, you'll see that the
(19:32):
twentieth is nine months and a day from
the time that he passed away.
But, it
I have come to realize and to feel
that that
having him
in our lives and losing him was all
part of the plan.
It was all part to show us that,
yes, you can have great joy.
(19:52):
You can have great sorrow,
and
something good will come out of everything.
Yes. I mean,
we lost our son, but we gained a
daughter. Yes.
Yes. We went through some dare difficult times
with his birth defect,
but we gained
(20:13):
knowledge
and care for others.
Mhmm. Mhmm. And so, you know, it's I've
always felt that no matter what terrible, horrible
thing happens in my life,
there's a reason for it to happen. God
has a plan. Mhmm. Mhmm. And there is
a there's a reason for it to happen
so it will end up joyful.
(20:34):
Absolutely. It will end up with a positive.
And every negative in the world has that
positive as an opposite.
Yep. You know? And when when your life
takes you down into the into the dumps
and into the basement,
All you gotta do is look up and
start climbing those stairs, and you're back up
on the Third Floor again. There you go.
(20:56):
Oh my god. You have so many mic
drops there. That was so beautifully said. Oh,
articulate and and and heartfelt because I absolutely
agree. I think the saddest thing in my
life was when Carol did die Yes. And
that grief that grief. You know? And then
you find that joy that just somehow bursts
outside of Yeah. Outside, and it it just
(21:16):
is amazing. So tell me a little bit
more about your daughter, Jen.
Well, she,
was raised here in Brookings. She was born
in Portland.
K. But then we moved here when she
was six weeks old, and so she was
raised here in town
and, going through the school district,
here.
And when it came time for her to
(21:37):
graduate and go to college, she chose,
Ashland,
Southern Oregon University. Awesome place.
Show it she would be close. It's also
a small town, so she's used to small
town living.
And,
I gave her one piece of advice
for for college.
Actually, I gave her two. But the first
(21:59):
one was,
whatever classes you take, whatever you decide to
major in,
take some business courses.
Learn learn some business courses because they can
help you with no matter what you plan
to do in your life. If nothing else,
it'll help you do your taxes. Exactly. You
know?
So when she had to declare a major,
(22:19):
she declared,
business. Oh, okay. Entrepreneurial
business.
And,
enjoyed it,
very much
until the last year when they made some
changes in the curriculum, and they were gonna
make her go through a freshman class
that they weren't offering when she was a
freshman.
And she also she took a year off
(22:41):
to help a friend who was dying.
Oh. And
she,
without training or anything else, became a death
doula. Oh,
okeydokey. Wow.
And and she has
performed
those duties for two different people. The first
was, Billy Rose, who's a good friend of
(23:03):
hers. Mhmm. And the second was,
her
she calls her mama san Oh. Which was
a
a woman that she adopted and that adopted
her in Ashland. Mhmm. And
she and she had cancer and passed. And
Jennifer
spent time with her and helped
(23:24):
her and her family through
her loss. Wow. And Wow. She's often thought
about, you know,
everybody hears about birthing doulas. Right.
But you don't hear about death doulas. Yeah.
But they are a thing. You bet. And
it's just as important to help
the person who is terminal and their family
(23:45):
find peace,
and
that's a really
great thing Oh my god. Provide for people.
And she is a very positive person,
and she's even more eclectic than I am
in my own.
Well and and by going through that with
the with the people she's with, she'll be
(24:05):
able to bring the joy because she knows
the joy is at the end of the
story as well. Yes. She does. True? Yes.
She does. Very true. Oh, Mary Anne, this
is, like, incredible. The time goes by so
fast. Can you give any final comments or
hopes or joys or recommendations
or tips to our listeners out there today
about attitude and about joy?
One thing that has seen me through the
(24:27):
worst of the worst
is the phrase, this too shall pass. Oh.
And I could have sworn it was a
Bible verse.
Mhmm. And I looked it up one day,
and it's not in the bible.
It's an a saying from I Ching,
which is a an oriental you know, an
Asian,
(24:47):
philosophy and religion.
But it has seen me through so many
bad times. This too shall pass. When you're
down in the dumps,
it will go away eventually, and you will
rise back up again. Yes. And so it's
when I'm feeling bad,
I just know this is gonna pass. It's
not permanent.
(25:08):
Oh, that is that is beautiful. That is
a great final comment because we can all
relate to that because we all go through
stuff Yeah. And this too shall pass. And
I can tell from your eyeballs right now
that are just glistening. It's so true for
you. Oh my gosh. Fantastic. Fantastic.
Well, I wanna thank you for being here
and sharing your attitude, sharing your joy, telling
(25:28):
us your stories,
and and just exuding exuding love and joy.
And around town, everybody, be ready because you'll
find out Mary Ann Traylor will probably come
up to you and say hi with her
big smile and engage you in conversation. And
if you don't feel like talking to her,
it's okay. Just smile back. So beautiful listeners,
thank you so much for being in with
us today. You're all here on the Southern
(25:51):
Oregon Coast, the Northern California Coast. We hope
you've been inspired and challenged and enjoyed, Mary
Anne, just as much as I have.
Thank you, Tom, for being on the sound
today. We have Doris, and we have Rose,
and we have Candice always helping us. You
can find more information on kciw.org
or at me at 2sisterswriting.com,
including if you're looking for any of my
(26:12):
books, they're at the local library. So Chetco
Library, Port Orford, Del Norte, Forecastle, they're all
over the places, you know, and and Mary
Ann New Carroll, and that's what the books
are all about. We also wanna just jump
in here and remind everybody that it's summertime,
And the joy in the summertime also deals
with music
and colors and events going on in our
community. And like I said before, you will
(26:34):
see Mary Anne around town. You will see
me around town, and just enjoy the day,
Have big big smiles and wear bright colors
from all of us here at KCIW.
Love you lots. Bye.
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