Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. If you want deep dating advice, help with relationships, or tips on how to have sex with women in a way they'll swoon over, c'mon in. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? And if you're ready to do the work, come work with us -- we'd love to have you: Get in touch at


September 22, 2023 52 mins

When we think about sexy turn-ons and arousal -- especially when we're engaging in solo play -- many of us think about visual porn. The numbers bear this out: according to Psychology Today, 80% of men and 26% of women have watched internet porn within the last week.

But what about other ways of being turned on? Specifically, what about erotica?

It turns out a whole bunch of men are into audio porn (oh hi, ASMR) as well as story-b...

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How do you know if you're being creepy? For many of our clients, the fear of making a woman uncomfortable -- or being seen as creepy -- can be debilitating or even paralyzing. These men are often concerned that they're "bad" just for wanting sex (hint: You're not. You're just human.).

If you've ever been afraid of being perceived as creepy or a pervert, you're not alone -- even men in relationships ha...

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Ever found yourself resentful of a relationship partner? Maybe you feel like you're always giving and never getting much in return. Perhaps you've seen her as selfish, not providing you with the respect, love, attention, or sex you need in order to feel connected.

Everyone has heard, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself," but what does loving yourself actually mean? Hint: It's not just taking ...

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Let's be real: For many men, it's often hard to figure out women. Moods change quickly, and often you know something is going on but you're not sure what (or how to find out). It's also hard when you feel like nothing you do is ever enough for her.

Here we talk about feminine testing, and what it means to play with it by tussling. When she pushes your boundaries or overreacts to something seemingly small, what's ...

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If you want a woman to fully surrender to you, you've got to inspire deep trust in her. This includes sexually -- a woman who deeply trusts her man is infinitely more likely to open up when it comes to sex.

And most men want to be trusted. They want to be satisfying to their partner sexually, emotionally, and physically. They want their partner to feel safe with them. Trust is the basis of safety, upon which relationship thrives...

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Shadow work is popular in the personal growth community, and for good reason — it can be deeply transformational. Many people report deeper and more lasting shifts with shadow work than with years of talk therapy.

But what’s talked about less often is how sexy shadow work can make you. As a woman who has sex with men, I can attest to this — a man who does real shadow work is hot. Period.

Here, Jason and I join forces with Luke Adler,...

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In our work with men who have sex with women, we've noticed a few distinct categories. There are three specific archetypes of men we see most commonly, and here we outline their patterns.

We do this in part because I want to reveal the deep yearning on the part of a lot of women who relate with men romantically. While the themes discussed in this episode are relayed in the frame of men who relate with women romantically, and vic...

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Want a woman to feel deeply, profoundly, extraordinarily safe with you? Able to surrender fully, relaxing all the way into your arms, allowing her body to open to you in ways you never knew were possible?

Then you need to know about this.

Whether you're dating or in a long-term committed relationship, there's an underlying fear that, according to Violet, who has worked with hundreds of women and heard from thousands, 99% of w...

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How did you learn to be a man? From whom did you learn, and what did they impart? More importantly, if this isn't how you want to be now, how you grow beyond what you learned?

We learn how to be who we are from our parents and other caregivers. If you grew up with men who were absent, alcoholics, abusive, or just not emotionally attuned, then there are gaps in your knowledge. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to...

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Do you know you have trauma stuck in your body, but you're not sure how to move it? Perhaps you're aware that your issues are in your tissues, but you don't know what to do about it.

If anyone knows what it's like to feel stuck around sex, dating, and relationships, it's Jason. He was a late bloomer, self-proclaimed Nice Guy, and didn't feel successful with women for a long time -- didn't even have sex fo...

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If you want a thriving, connected sex life with your partner, but feel like something's in the way ... it could be sexual trauma.

The fact is, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are survivors of child sexual abuse. To put that in perspective, that's 42 million women and 21 million men in the US alone.

The bad news? We don't talk about this nearly enough, so it can feel overwhelming and scary to address. The good news? It is add...

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Was your family skilled at teaching you about sex? Was your school, or your religious community?


I'm guessing not.

Many families of origin suck at talking about sex, dating, and relationships. And whether you grew up in a religious house or not, sex education tends to also be subpar, especially when it comes to teaching about sexual communication.

How do you ask a partner for what you really want? How do you tell someone they&#...

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Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you drop into your feminine already?" ;)

So how do you polarize your woman well? Polarity is one of those mysteries in life like electricity: We don't fully grasp why it works, but we can harness its power to make our lives better.

I love polarity work because it can make a concrete di...

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Ever have trouble concentrating, or beat yourself up for not getting more done? Do you give yourself a hard time for watching porn & masturbating? Wonder why you just can't kick that habit you know is unhealthy (smoking weed, playing video games, drinking alcohol, etc.)?

All of this is related to loneliness. Whether you live alone and work from home, are single and dating and longing for relationship, are divorced and missin...

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"I just can't make up my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm settling, and that makes me sad. Sometimes I feel blessed to have someone as amazing as this woman who wants to be with me.

The question I have is, if I'm having doubts or feelings that I might be settling, does that mean she's not The One? Or is it normal to have these feelings sometimes?"

If you've ever wondered whether you're in the right rela...

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A lot of the men we work with don't want to be That Guy. The guy who's creepy or pervy or weird. The guy who makes women feel unsafe, whether on a date or in a relationship.

But how do you figure out how to get consent while still maintaining your masculine core? Is it uncool to ask for permission to kiss her? (Spoiler alert: No.) And how does consent work on a porn set? Porn stars still need to navigate the world of what...

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All of the men we work with, whether married, dating, or single, want women to feel safe with them. It's important to them that women trust them -- that women feel secure around them (even if that's "just" on a dating app).

And women don't tend to feel deeply safe unless they feel claimed.

In one woman's words: “When a man doesn’t claim me, I feel anxious and stressed and find myself not wanting to be vulnera...

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Relate to any of the following dating and relationship questions?

  1. In dating, I tend to get attached/excited about someone fast, and then really disappointed when it doesn’t work out. How do I lessen the intensity of this? (This includes if you've just been messaging with someone on a dating app like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OKCupid, etc. and you thought it'd go somewhere but then it didn't)
  2. I brought something to a woma...
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If you've ever been concerned about erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and looked at male-bodied porn stars with envy, here's a fun fact: Close to 100% of male-bodied porn stars use Viagra/Cialis/other sexual performance enhancement drugs in order to perform on set.

That's not the only thing that might surprise you about sex, love, dating, and the behind-the-scenes truth about pornography. Here, porn director ...

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When a woman is going through a tough time (especially for an extended period of time), it can be easy to fall into a codependent dynamic. When she relies heavily on you to help her feel better, this can be taxing on your nervous system. And nobody wants codependence!

How do you stay steady when things like financial stress, fertility issues, job concerns, or hard family dynamics cause a wife, girlfriend, or other woman partner to t...

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