Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Edge City is one of the most exciting, fun, engaging, dynamic communities of which I'm a part -- and here I get to interview one of the founders! (This is very exciting for me.)

Edge City runs month-long "pop-up villages" — 500 to 1,000 people from tech, science, culture, and art, gathered in one small, walkable town, building things together. In Timour's words, "It's got the dynamism of a city, with the vibe of a village &mda...

She's successful. She's put together. She seems like she doesn't need anyone. So why does dating still feel impossible for her — and why does she seem so hard to get close to?

The men we work with are almost always intensely curious about what life is like on the "other side." What do single women contend with? What are their biggest dating, sex, and relationship challenges? Here, Violet breaks down 3 top issues frequently fac...

Let's be real: Modern dating culture can suck. Between ghosting, confusion over when to have sex, the commodification of our love lives, and people throwing up old photos on Tinder, Feeld, or Bumble, it's not always clear how to make it work.

But Freya isn't playing by the rules anymore. Instead of sticking with the apps, which can leave both men and women feeling dejected, she's running a full-blown, 3-month public campaign to find...

"Is your dick going to be synced to porn?"

That's not hypothetical — it's already on the market. Here, intimacy expert Susan Bratton walks me through "weird" phenomena at the frontier of sex tech and AI, including synchronized strokers, tele-dildonics (I'll bet that's a word you've never come across before), role-player game (RPG) worlds where you can get down and dirty with an Aztec warrior woman, and adaptive AI that learns ...

“I was nervous as hell.”

So shares one of the men in this episode about how he felt stepping onto the land of our in-person retreat. In another's words, “I went into a panic because I’m having flashbacks of summer camp.”

What's it really like to do live men's work?

The truth is, most men that come to live retreats are intimidated in one way or another. Rates of bullying are astronomically high, and you do...

Have you ever felt like your woman was routinely frustrated, resentful, or annoyed with you? Like you can't get anything right, and then on top of that, when it comes to sex or physical intimacy, FORGET about it. Not happening.

If so, you may be contending with reverse polarity. This can happen in either direction, but we find that with our clients, it's illuminating to explore the flavor when a man is more in omega (his feminine) a...

Ever feel like you're doing everything "right" — showing up, being kind, respecting her — but only getting crumbs?

First dates that never turn into second dates. A marriage where you've quietly become roommates; no matter what you do, there's no sex, and there's not even very much affection. That feeling of putting in a ton of effort and still spinning your wheels.

If any of that lands, you're likely living out some versi...

How much does a woman's sexual satisfaction depend on the size, shape, or other physical details of your cock?

According to research out of the UK, this question is on the hearts of a lot of men. To quote this study: "Men showed significant dissatisfaction with penile size, despite perceiving themselves to be of average size."

In other words, it's common, if you're a man, to wonder (or worry) about whether size matters.

Now here's the...

Do you want to establish a new, healthier habit, but so far you just ... haven't? For example: eat more veggies; exercise; have a meditation practice; be bolder with women/your woman; or a big one: cease watching porn.

According to a meta-analysis on this exact questions, intentions only account for ~30% of whether someone actually changes behavior — meaning you can be fully committed and clear on what you want to do, and that...

When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, what is AI good for? And where can it potentially cause damage?

Here, Jason and I go point-for-point — one way AI can support your love life, one way it can harm it — and get into the nuances most people aren't talking about.

We cover what AI is actually good for: crafting the message you can feel but can't quite say; getting unstuck when you're in your head at midnight; br...

"Is this in my head, or is this real?"

Millions of women ask themselves this question -- about their sleep, their mood, their body suddenly working differently than it used to. They can't tell if they can't sleep as well as they used to because they've got two young children ... or whether it's perimenopause.

If you want to be an awesome partner (either now or in the future), listen on! This is the hormonal literacy class you never g...

A 2022 dating survey showed that a whopping 69% of American men say that fear of being labeled "creepy" impacts how they interact with women. And 44% said it diminishes how much they interact with women at all, romantically or otherwise.

In other words, the fear of being creepy can hold you back from all connection with women, not just in the realm of dating/relationships.

But let's talk about sex and dating for a moment. The cruel ...

Who doesn't have trust issues? Let's be real.

Whether it shows up as "I don't trust her to handle my anger," or "I'm afraid I'll just be treated like an ATM" or, "I can't relax until I know the person really, really well," — almost all of carry some version of trust concerns into our dating and relationships.

Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lange and I do something we don't often get to: We put our worlds side b...

You love your partner. You're committed. But the sex has slowed to a trickle — once a month, once every six months, maybe not in years — and you're starting to wonder: "Is this just what long-term partnership is?"

No -- it doesn't have to be. Unfortunately, if this is happening and you're feeling lonely in your marriage, you're not alone. And it can be hard to know what to do; millions of men feel ill-equipped to address...

Ever been told you're a "great guy!" but she's "just not feeling it"? Or felt like you're endlessly chasing women but never being pursued yourself?

Here, we dig into what's actually happening when women consistently report not feeling attracted to you -- and what you can do about it.

The truth is, attraction only has a little to do with what you look like physically. For example, one client came into our program good-looking by every...

You know the feeling. You've been holding a vision — for the partner, the family, the sex life you actually want — for months. Maybe years. Maybe decades. And it's still not here.

And underneath the longing, there's a quieter, scarier question: Is there something wrong with me that it hasn't happened yet?

Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lang and I have an honest conversation about what it actually takes to ...

She used to want it. Now she doesn't. And you're not sure if it's you, the kids, the stress — or something that's quietly shifted inside her.

A lot of the time, it's her hormones. Specifically, perimenopause or menopause.

Here's what most people don't know: perimenopause doesn't start at 45 years old. Dr. Debra Durst — an MD who left traditional medicine to specialize in hormone optimization and sexual wellness — is...

It’s one of the top questions in Dr. Kelly’s men’s health practice. 

And it’s not just coming from older men — it’s guys in their 20s and 30s. We're talking 27-year-old chiseled Marine sergeants walking in saying, "I can't get motivated. I rarely wake up with erections anymore. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend in two weeks." And their buddies are reporting the same thing.

It's not all in t...

You know the moment. She comes at you with heat — frustrated, hurt, disappointed, or just a lot — and something inside you freezes.

Maybe you start minimizing her experience ("It's not that bad"; "You're exaggerating"). Or you lawyer up ("Well but you also said ____" or "That's not what I meant; if you'd just listen while I explained..."). Or you look present, but you're not.

It's one of the most common patterns we see in...