393: What's it REALLY like living in community, and how does it impact your relationships?

“I become a bit of a depresso-goblin when I live alone.”

So shares one of my housemates -- an eloquent interpretation, perhaps, of the loneliness episode we're living through, according to the US Surgeon General.

We all know that loneliness sucks. Among other things, it elevates risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety (among other health concerns).

So what do we do about it? According to the Pew Research Center, around 40% of adults are un-partnered, and a recent CNN article states that close to 30% of all US households are folks living on their own. Add to this the gig economy and an increased prevalence of workplaces that are entirely online, and you've got a major societal issue.

Living in community is one way of coming together, having more fun, getting more practical support, and strengthening the overall social fabric of your life.

Here, I get personal. I myself live in a coliving situation with six other friends. In this episode we delve into questions like:

• What was your life like before living in community, and what motivated you to seek out a community living situation?
• Anything you were hesitant about when it came to living in community?
• What needs of yours are met by living in community? What challenges have you found in it?
• How has living in community impacted your love relationship (if you’re in one)? 
• What advice do you have for others who are considering living in community?

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Memorable quotes:

• “It seemed like a good healthy risk.”
• “I don’t have coworkers, so the vast majority of my sustaining social connection comes from this house.”
• “It's special to have built-in friends.”
• “One hesitation for me was that everything wasn’t going to be accessible to me 100% of the time in exactly the way I’d want.”
• “Living with people helps me with being open to receiving.”
• “It’s more isolating when you’re living in a home with just your partner.”
• “It's great having that space to be received and seen by others.”
• “It requires vulnerability and communication.”
• “It’s very lively!”
• “A better version of me lives when I live in community.” 

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Mentioned on this episode:

• Nesterly: Share a home with someone you can trust for over 1 month stays. Renters can lend a hand for discounted rent.
• CoHoUS (The Cohousing Institute of the United States): A resource with courses as well as online social gatherings for those interested in cohousing and coliving