486-How a Strong Identity Defeats Shame: Interview With Pastor Drew Hyun

How a Strong Identity Defeats Shame: Interview With Pastor Drew Hyun

Maybe you're a leader in your church, a high achiever at work, or a dedicated family man—but deep inside, you feel the sting of shame. Maybe it's from mistakes in your past, struggles in your present, or simply the pressure of not living up to what you think you should be.

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to carry it anymore.

Pastor Drew Hyun—lead pastor of Hope Church NYC and executive director of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship—shares how God’s love offers a radical solution. Not just theologically, but practically. In this powerful teaching, originally given to our men's community, Drew walks us through how to eradicate shame through our identity in Christ.

These truths brought tears to the eyes of many men in our program—and it’s easy to see why. Because when you truly grasp how deeply you’re loved by God, everything changes.

The Root of Shame: Why Our Identity Feels So Fragile

Pastor Drew’s upbringing was marked by harsh parenting, deep wounds, and religious hypocrisy. His father—who eventually became a well-known pastor and author—was emotionally and physically abusive at home, even as he preached about how to raise a godly family.

Drew grew up trying to reconcile this contradiction, and his early life was shaped by a relentless drive to succeed, perform, and hide his struggles.

Whether you’ve experienced something similar or not, many of us understand that tension: performing on the outside while hiding pain on the inside. And when we can’t live up to the image we’ve created—shame creeps in.

But here's the turning point: our identity doesn’t come from performance or other people's approval. It comes from Christ alone.

Emotional Health Is Spiritual Maturity

As Pastor Drew shared with us, "You cannot be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.”

It doesn’t matter how impressive your resume is, how many sermons you’ve heard, or how many Bible verses you know—if your wife experiences you as unloving, cold, or critical, then something is broken.

Spiritual growth isn’t just what you do in public. It’s who you are in private—especially with those closest to you.

The call to emotional health is not just self-help. It’s a discipleship issue—and a doorway to freedom.

Public Life vs. Private Life

Social media, church culture, and cultural expectations often tempt us to present a polished version of ourselves. But that disconnect between our public image and private reality breeds shame.

Drew shares how discovering integrity—being whole and consistent, not perfect—transformed his life.

He uses this beautiful definition of humility, rooted in the Latin word humus (meaning grounded): “Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.”

When you’re grounded in God’s love, you no longer need to perform. You can walk in trut