491-A Fine Marriage, Now an Extraordinary Marriage: Bart's Story

A Fine Marriage, Now an Extraordinary Marriage: Bart's Story

Bart is a Christian leader. He’s the head of a childcare agency working with traumatized children and teens. He’s been married for nearly 20 years and has four beautiful kids.

And by his own admission?

He was tired. Burned out. Irritable.
Or, in his words—“crusty.”

He wasn’t in crisis. His marriage wasn’t “on the rocks.”
But it wasn’t thriving either.

And Bart knew something had to change.

Christian Leaders Get Tired, Too—But That Doesn’t Mean You Stay There

One Saturday morning, Bart’s wife tried to be playful with him—and he snapped.

He didn’t mean to. He was just worn out, juggling too many roles, feeling the pressure of leadership, family, and ministry. But his wife’s gentle confrontation was a turning point.

She didn’t yell. She didn’t threaten.
She just called it what it was.

And Bart—rather than shutting down—responded with humility and self-reflection.
Not because he had to…
But because he wanted to grow.

Why “Good Enough” Marriage Isn’t the Goal—Even for Ministry Leaders

Bart described his marriage as “a 9 on a bad day.”
No major fights. No betrayals. No one was threatening to leave.

But deep down, he knew something wasn’t right.
The joy was fading.
The connection was inconsistent.
And his presence at home was… thin.

Too many leaders settle for “fine” because there isn’t obvious brokenness. But lack of crisis doesn’t mean abundance of health.

How One Christian Husband Reconnected With His Wife (and Kids)

Bart didn’t just learn new tools—he let God change his posture.

He took a long, hard look at his own heart.
He asked his wife, with full honesty, "Have I made intimacy feel transactional to you?"

She said no. But Bart still made changes.
He apologized for things from 20 years ago.
He went to his kids, one by one, and asked for forgiveness for being emotionally absent.

And the impact?
Laughter returned.
Confidence rose.
Connection was rebuilt—at home, where it matters most.

When You Lead at Work But Struggle at Home

Bart’s job requires emotional intelligence, patience, and deep listening.
He gives that to kids, to employees, to families in crisis.

But when he got home?

He was depleted.
He admits, “I was giving my best to strangers—not to the people who mattered most.”

The CIRQUE listening framework helped him shift.