October 18, 2025 • 32 mins
Come and listen to our Host, Tina Spoletini, as she chats with today's guest, MaLinda Hill, for our "Season of Shift: Women on the Edge of Reinvention" Podcast Series.
This series spotlights women who used this reflective season (Oct–Dec) to make major life pivots—career changes, endings, spiritual awakenings, and brave beginnings.
MaLinda Hill, founder of Life Liaison Success Coaching, calls herself a “Confidence Curator” and “Empowerment Coordinator.” She helps people move from stuck to confident in their careers. MaLinda believes career growth doesn’t have to be so serious; she brings encouragement and a sense of humor to every conversation.
Her goal? To help people see setbacks as stepping stones towards success. Because the only way to go is forward.
https://www.instagram.com/themalindahill/
We share a candid, funny, and practical talk with coach Melinda Hill about moving from stuck to confident. We dig into boundaries, body image, and the small experiments that turn a nudge into a new chapter.
• redefining reinvention after job loss
• craving direct impact over routine tasks
• dismantling the cult of busy and calendar clutter
• building boundaries for rest and focus
• micro-resets like short walks and five-minute pauses
• ending negative self-talk and constant apologies
• tackling body image, visibility, and bias without shame
• testing curiosities through small, low-risk experiments
• celebrating daily wins to grow confidence
• resources to connect with Melinda on Instagram
For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
It's Divas the Care Radio.
Stories, strategies, and ideasto inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas the Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
(00:20):
To find out more about themovement, visit divuslippare.com
after the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
SPEAKER_02 (00:31):
Welcome to the Confidence in Bloom, where bold
women rise, shine, and own theirpower.
We all face that pesky innercritic, what I call the Itty
Bitty Shitty Committee,whispering self-sabotaging
doubts and untrue trash talkthat holds us back.
Here, we don't let that noisewin.
This is a space to celebrate thefierce, fabulous women who have
(00:54):
broken free from fear, crushedlimiting beliefs, and stepped
into their full, unstoppableselves.
Because let's be real, the mostpowerful thing any woman can
wear is her confidence.
I'm Tina Spolotini, your hostwith the Divasat Care Network,
and I will bring you realstories from women who reclaimed
their voice, embraced theirworth, and are lighting the way
(01:15):
for all of us.
Ready to bloom into your bestself?
Let's dive in.
Today I'm chatting with MelindaHill, founder of the Lifely
Liaison Success Coaching.
She's a confidence curator andempowerment coordinator who
helps people move from stuck toconfident in their careers.
She believes career growthdoesn't have to be all serious,
(01:36):
bringing encouragement and humorto every conversation.
Her mission to help people seeevery setback as a step forward.
So welcome, Melinda.
So this season we're talkingabout women and being on the
edge of reinvention.
So before we dive in, maybe youcan share a little bit more
(01:57):
about where you are right now inyour life and what reinvention
means to you.
SPEAKER_01 (02:03):
Yeah, so right now I'm in between jobs, and I feel
like, you know, once you findsomething you love, if it's
weighing on your heart and itjust keeps coming back, that
that's where you're supposed togo.
So if you don't fly out of thenest, they're gonna kick you
out, right?
So I feel like I lost my job ayear ago, and I feel like if if
(02:23):
that wouldn't have happened, Iwould have never left where I
was and would kind of stay inthat stuck feeling.
SPEAKER_02 (02:28):
So sometimes the universe gives us that little
push that we're not ready for,right?
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
But you're ready now, you'reready to move forward.
100% moving forward.
That's all it takes, right?
Is that feeling of readiness.
What was the moment or feelingthat told you that life was that
(02:50):
the change was necessary?
I mean, I I know that you know,losing your job isn't always
that, you know, it's always whenwe look back.
So what was that?
What moment did you realize thatthe change was necessary?
SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
I think when you are on your way to work, right?
And you just kind of have this,I am not doing what I'm supposed
to be doing.
Yes, my work is important.
Yes, it is helping people, butit isn't impacting people in the
way that I truly want to at ahuman level.
I can make your day go smoother.
I can clear your calendar andgive you room to breathe and
remind you to do the things youneed to do to take care of
(03:23):
yourself, but I am not seeingthat direct impact.
And that's what was missing fromall of my roles that I've had.
SPEAKER_02 (03:33):
I get that.
I get that.
Sometimes we know we live inthat circle, right?
We're constantly going aroundand around and around, and then
all of a sudden, there, youknow, it's like there's like a
little bump in that circle road,and all of a sudden we're like,
well, wait a minute, I'm doingthe same thing here and I'm
getting nowhere.
SPEAKER_01 (03:50):
Yeah, we feel stuck.
We feel like you're in this thiscycle and this grind, and you
then then my brain says, Well,what am I missing?
I'm missing something, and Idon't know what it is, but I'm
not satisfied.
SPEAKER_02 (04:03):
So that's yeah, I get that.
I get that.
Like sometimes, you know, and II find like we get so it's
because we're happy, we'recreatures of habit, right?
And so I find sometimes thehabits just continue on and on
and on until one day we justkind of wake up and go, we're
doing the same, I'm doing thesame shit every day.
(04:25):
And I just like I'm numb, like Ihave no more excitement or
energy inside me, right?
Like it's all stagnant.
Yeah, I get that.
I get that.
SPEAKER_01 (04:35):
You're not looking forward to anything.
You know what it is already.
It's very predictable, it'smonotonous, but it just seems
that that's the way it is.
That's what this life is about,and and that's what you do.
SPEAKER_02 (04:47):
Yeah, I remember, you know, when I had when I had
my kids um, you know, quiteyoung, I was only working two or
three days a week at the time.
And I worked in administrationwith a bank.
And I remember thinking, I don'twant there to be too many
challenges at work.
I have enough challenges athome, at least at work, I know
what I'm gonna be facing, right?
(05:07):
And and it's it's funny how allof a sudden they were like 16,
17, and I'm like, where's mychallenge?
Right?
Like they're too challenging.
I want something a little bitmore stay, like I still, I
guess, wanted the stability, butthat sort of became the normal,
right?
The craziness of you know,teenage life that now I wanted
(05:30):
like something a little bitmore, you know, deeper.
I was like, I'm done with thispart of my life.
SPEAKER_01 (05:37):
I know that's no, it's no, it doesn't.
You know, you you lose a part ofyourself because you're giving
so much to other people.
You have these people you haveto take care of that's your
great distraction.
So you're like, I'm busy, I haveto go to soccer, I have an
after-school program, we have topick them up.
And when the chaos is over,you're like, now what do I do?
SPEAKER_02 (05:57):
That's exactly yeah, that's exactly what happened to
me.
So tell me, was there aparticular challenge, setback,
or realization that pushed youtoward the shift?
Was there something, was there abump in that little circle road?
SPEAKER_01 (06:09):
Yeah, I always have this vegan on my head.
It doesn't matter.
Wherever I go, people come tome, they tell me their stories
in five minutes on the way tothe dressing room.
I was at Kroger the other day.
I I told this lady, I love youroutfit because it was great.
She had bright green pants on,they were velvet and a purple
shirt.
I said, I love your wholeoutfit.
She was like, Thank you.
So I'm leaving the store.
(06:30):
She's leaving the store at thesame time.
I have headphones in, I get inmy car, she's right at my
window.
I screamed, she scared me.
I said, You scared me.
I rolled down and she said, I'mso sorry.
I said, Excuse me, ma'am.
She said, You're so kind.
I have this problem.
And she just starts and shesaid, What should I do?
And I said, Oh, okay, here'swhat I would do if I were you.
(06:51):
I was supposed to help her thatday.
You know, she didn't speak a lotof English, and I had already
made a connection with herclearly.
And so she thought, well, she'salready personable.
So people just come to me, myfriends come to me, even the
leaders that I support.
I find at the end of the day I'mkind of like their sounding
board, and I help them with morethan just work life.
(07:12):
It's like, well, why are yougetting up at 6 a.m.
and taking a meeting at 6 30a.m.?
That's unacceptable.
Like, how do we build your daybetter?
Do you need to have all of thesemeetings with every single
person?
Back to no, you do not.
You can group them, you canspread them out.
They can be bi-weekly.
Because you're just wastingtime.
SPEAKER_02 (07:33):
Yeah, it gets to be that way, doesn't it?
Like sometimes we just keeppiling on the tasks, and
truthfully, like you said, wecan group them together or we
can spread them out to give youryour your mind that break,
right?
And sometimes, and I think,well, and I I also believe that
(07:54):
especially like women my age, weneed to be told that, right?
Like we don't figure it out,right?
Like we were like, if as soon assomebody says, you know, are you
busy or are you just like makinglife hard, right?
Like, because I mean everybodyuses that word, I'm busy, right?
But busy, everybody's busy,right?
(08:15):
But are you being busy becauseyou're making yourself busy or
are you busy getting thingsdone?
Right, there is a difference.
SPEAKER_01 (08:23):
You know, that I'm I'm so busy, that's your fault.
That's on you, right?
So you have to figure that out.
We weren't like brought intothis world to suffer and to go
from one to the other and haveso many meetings and
appointments in a day that wecan't get any work done or let
our brains relax, right?
We're we were brought here tolive a good life and to help
other people, right?
(08:43):
The fact that we make thisalready heavy place even
heavier, even with good things,we burn ourselves out socially,
emotionally at work.
It's crazy.
SPEAKER_02 (08:53):
It's crazy.
And the thing is, we worktowards that.
That's the sad part, right?
We're we're always competingwith the neighbor.
Like we see that the neighbor'sbusy.
Well, that means I have to bebusy, right?
Yeah, so now I'm like making alist, you know, 30, you know,
items long instead of the twothings that are super important
to me, right?
SPEAKER_01 (09:14):
Yeah, absolutely.
My one leader said, Oh, we freedup this time in my calendar,
right?
This previous department chair Iworked with, and she said, now
that means I have time for this.
And I said, No, now that meansyou have time to go take a
wellness walk, go get a coffee,take a lunch break.
So, like my brain is always liketaking care of other people and
(09:34):
making sure they're taking careof themselves.
You just don't you need somebodyto tell you to do it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:39):
You do, yeah, it's absolutely true.
And and I think you know, likein the grocery store, what
better place?
Yeah, fine.
How many times do you find womenin there that are like you can
see without even talking to themthat they're stressed?
They have to be in fourdifferent places, you know, in
10 minutes, right?
You can see that.
And I'm like, why are you doingthis to yourself?
(10:00):
You know, there's this this worddelegation, right?
There's also that, you know,that you need to take the time.
And you know, when I started torealize that I was doing the
whole, you know, task after taskafter task, I started taking
five minutes in my car, right?
I'm like, okay, I would drive tothe grocery store or wherever I
(10:20):
was running an errand, and Iwould sit in my car and I
started playing a game on myphone.
I'm gonna take five minutes,right?
If this game is gonna be twominutes, now I got carried away
with it because I tend to do,you know, I like to do the fun
stuff first.
And so sometimes I would spendlike half an hour in the car and
I'm like, holy crap, like Igotta get my shit going here.
(10:41):
Right.
But I mean, at the same time,like I when I realize that, hey,
I get to have time for myselftoo, right?
I took the time.
And I think that's one thingthat women don't think about,
right?
We're always worried about whatother people need from us,
right?
And so I'm sure that's kind ofpartly what you know you do with
(11:02):
your business, right?
Is you sort of help women ormen, whoever you're talking
with, see that you know, there'sother things we can be doing to
make to bring joy and happiness.
SPEAKER_01 (11:14):
Yeah, but people always say, Well, I don't have
time for that.
Okay, well, I would love to lookat your week with you on
honestly, look at your weekbecause I bet you have a
favorite show that you watch,and that is your decompression
time because I do it too.
So you sat on the couch for anhour, but you didn't have time,
10 minutes to sit in your carand just play a game, right?
SPEAKER_02 (11:35):
Yeah, yeah, right.
Okay, now playing it, we don'tall have to play games, right?
That's not what I'm suggesting.
But there, but there is, youknow, like instead of walking
directly to the store, you know,maybe walk, park, you know, two
or three stores away and take alittle walk, like enjoy that
time, right?
Now, I wouldn't suggest thatwith you know four or five
hundred dollars worth ofgroceries because I don't want
(11:57):
to walk across the parking lot,right?
But I mean, you know, if I'mrunning to this, like I have we
have outdoor malls here where wecan almost park in front of the
door of the store.
So often I'll park two or threestores away just so that I get
that little bit of breath offresh air or whatever, right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
So getting outside, even I would tell you, like on
the days that I have hard days,I just think to myself, okay,
you know, your day of monotonyor your worst day or the day
that you're sad is someoneelse's dream day.
You have all this time freedomyou have all the get outside,
get some air, and that that doeswonders for your mental health.
(12:34):
Just taking a walk.
SPEAKER_02 (12:35):
Isn't that the truth?
Yeah, that is so true.
You know, I was in the hospitallast week and I thought, my god,
there's so many people in herethat cannot go outside.
Some have windows, some do not,right?
And it is so beautiful outside.
There's no wind, everything isstill green, like it's just so
beautiful, and these poor peopleare stuck inside.
(12:56):
And most days I choose not to gooutside.
SPEAKER_01 (12:59):
I know it's it's hard.
It's it's the silliest thing tosay.
It's hard to go outside.
We get stuck in what we'redoing.
Yeah, it doesn't matter what itis.
You're in the house, you're onyour phone, you're on your
laptop, you're watching a show,you have laundry, dinner,
whatever.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah.
Well, even just life itself,like there's so much more I can
be doing inside.
But then again, like I'm I'mstuck in the doing, right?
Why can't I just go outside andjust be right?
SPEAKER_01 (13:25):
Not everything has to be scheduled, not everything
has to fit into this box.
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Yes, I love that.
I love that.
And I think that's that our as acoach, I think that's our job to
make everyone understand whatelse there is.
SPEAKER_01 (13:40):
Yeah, yeah.
Like you you think, oh, I'm notliving my potential, I'm not
doing what oh my gosh, I couldbe doing that so much better.
But why don't you just focus onthe wins that you had today,
those little glimmers that camethrough?
SPEAKER_02 (13:53):
Yeah, because eventually those grow, right?
And they move, they move along.
Yes, I love that.
How in the past, how in thepast, Melinda, have you handled
fear, self-doubt, and all thoseitty bitty shitty committee
ideas?
SPEAKER_01 (14:08):
Oh my gosh, you know, I stopped the negative
self-talk a long time agobecause I realized I was doing
it.
I didn't I didn't understand Iwas doing it, I was just doing
it.
And I thought, okay, I'm gonnastop right now.
I'm gonna stop you right here,self, because there's already
all this stuff out here tellingme I'm too big, I'm too skinny,
(14:29):
I'm too short, I'm not enough.
Whatever it is, you're not smartenough, you're not good enough,
right?
And I was doing it to myself.
I was telling myself, like,well, do you know you're fat,
you can't fit in those jeans.
It doesn't matter.
Stop that.
You are you.
This is who I am, all of me,every day, whatever size,
whatever education level I have,I have enough exterior noise
(14:53):
telling me what I should be.
I don't need to do that tomyself.
So I stopped it.
I stopped overanalyzing mypictures.
SPEAKER_02 (15:01):
Good for you.
And how, okay, so I I'm justinterested in how you managed to
do that.
Like, did you hire a coach tohelp you with those limited
beliefs?
No, you just said, enough isenough.
There is no need for that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:14):
I coached myself.
The the issue is I don't I don'tthink a lot of people realize
it.
So when I'm around uh a newperson, uh, for example, someone
was drawing my blood, right?
And I said, You don't have toapologize.
And she's like, Oh, I know, I'mso sorry.
And I said, She's just doing itagain.
She said, I am sorry, I bet you10 times in the first 10 minutes
(15:37):
of just talking.
She goes, I do do that a lot.
I'm just not very confident.
And I said, Why?
She just did, she said, I myparents put a lot of pressure on
me, and I always just felt likeI was in a way.
I was always like, I'm sorry.
And and a lot of that is alsobeing a woman, right?
We're told to apologize and besmall and scoot over and
accommodate, don't take upspace, strength yourself down.
(15:58):
No, no, so I think it takessomebody else to to help you
realize what you're doing.
I just I was in a focus group,and this one lady just broke
down and she said, I wearcertain clothing so people don't
stare at my stomach, so theykeep their eyes here, right?
And I thought, oh my gosh.
(16:18):
And that's when I realized wewere all speaking negatively to
ourselves.
And her face turned feet red.
We were all in tears by the endof it.
It was it was great though,because that probably also
helped me realize how mean I wasbeing to myself.
I didn't need to do that, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:34):
But isn't it okay?
So that I mean, I know thatthat's a whole new conversation,
right?
Because we could talk clothingand body image for hours.
But one thing I I do have to sayis how sad is that?
It's terrible.
Like this poor woman thinks thateveryone is staring at her
stomach.
Like, why?
(16:55):
Why do you think that that'swhat we're looking at?
Right?
When I look at you, I'm lookingat your face.
That's what's in front of me.
But if you were your, you know,okay, we're on camera, but if
you were sitting in front of mein real, I'm not checking out
your body.
I want to talk to you.
Like you're I'm talking to yourlike your insides really, like
your heart, your soul.
(17:17):
Yeah, yeah.
And yet we have this image ofeveryone only seeing us for what
we are physically.
We we think our flaws.
Yeah, yeah.
It's you know, it it makes me sosad.
And I know I'm I know I'm guiltyof it too.
I have that itty bitty shittycommittee that speaks very
(17:37):
loudly to me when I don't wantit to be, right?
But I don't know.
How do you how do you work withthat?
How do you tell someone?
Like, I'll just say, like, I'mnot here to look at your, you
know, your stomach or your bodyor your you know, your lopsided
ears.
I'm not looking at that.
I'm looking at you.
I want to talk to you, right?
Yeah, that's like when someonecomes to and says, you know, oh
(17:59):
my house is a mess, but pleasecome in, let's have a coffee,
right?
I'm not there to visit yourhouse, I'm here to visit you.
I don't care what's going onaround your house, right?
Now, I don't want to sit in youknow dirt or whatever.
No, but I mean, if your house isjust untidy, hey, we all live in
a house, my house gets untied.
Come on over.
I can just play with you.
Exactly.
(18:20):
How do we make women?
I think women are worse at thisthan men are, but how do we make
them understand that it's okay?
SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
So one of my very good friends, she always tells
me how old she is.
She's 65.
I said, I always say, I don'tcare.
I love you.
You're my friend.
To me, I don't, I I always Idon't care, it doesn't matter.
But she will always say, Well,I'm not wearing I'm not wearing
those shorts.
I'll wear shorts because of mylegs, they're veiny.
And I said, You know what?
Who cares?
If you die tomorrow, are yougonna be mad at yourself because
(18:51):
you didn't wear shorts?
Who cares?
If you get to look at my legs,you're welcome.
And if you don't like them,don't look at them.
You are 65 years old, and you'vebeen telling your the yourself
these negative stories for yourwhole life, and she has.
So we we work on it.
I think she did wear shorts theother day.
We were together.
I didn't say anything because Ididn't want it to be a focus,
(19:12):
but I was so proud of her.
SPEAKER_02 (19:14):
Yeah, and you do that little dance of joy inside
to you, right?
Yeah, so I have, you know, it itkind of brought me to think.
So, you know, we live in a worldwhere tattoos are a fashion,
like it's a kind of a must,right?
And my in it, so in especiallyin my family, my generation,
it's still a no-no, right?
(19:35):
Like, so my I have three kids.
My daughter is not fullytattooed, but she's she's very
tattooed.
I don't like it.
Like, I don't like tattoos, Idon't care if like if you like
it, please by all means do whatmakes you happy.
When she started coming homewith all these tattoos, I was
like, you need to stop doingthis.
And I did, we did fight, wefought over it.
(19:56):
But it seemed like the more Igot mad at her, the more she
wanted them.
And so finally I just went, youknow what?
It's your body, you do what yougotta do.
But when people judge you, youhave to accept the judgments
because if I'm judging you andI'm your mother, right, there
are other people who are gonnajudge you just the same.
(20:16):
Now, I do, I still don't likethem.
I'm not gonna say that they'regrowing on me because they do,
they are not, but I also get it,like especially these young
kids, they follow the trends.
When I was a kid, there thankGod it wasn't a trend, but I
tried to follow as much as Icould whatever the trend was.
So I get it, like I dounderstand it.
I just didn't do anything that'sgonna like permanently mark my
(20:39):
body, right?
I mean, let's face it, thesetattoos are you've got them
forever.
It doesn't matter where you leadyou, right?
Absolutely.
And and so when you were sayingabout the, you know, the not
wearing the shorts, you know,you can go without the shorts,
but once you put a tattoo onyour body, like you're you're
opening yourself up to more.
Now, yes, we should acceptpeople for who they are.
(20:59):
I agree, like I believe that100%.
I do have a hard time with thatthough, right?
Especially when I look at mybeautiful daughter and I think,
why, why would you do that toyourself, right?
But you know, it's kind of thesame thing, right?
Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_01 (21:14):
I have tattoos and I put them all where I can hide
them, right?
Because I used to work in ahospital setting, and if you
have them, they needed to becovered.
I mean, you have to work closeto the street, it was a whole
thing.
But now I see the youngergenerations and they are sleeved
up and everything, and I'm justlike, wow, we definitely could
not do that.
(21:35):
We could, but we wouldn't havegotten a job.
Now, I mean, you go to thehospital and you have people
working on you, and they're theyhave tattoos everywhere.
You know, I I think it'sawesome.
I can't, I still can't do like Icouldn't do the, you know what I
mean?
It just I needed to have no tobe hidden if I want them to be.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Of course.
And I mean, yeah, like and thisis a body image thing too, but I
remember when my twins wereborn, they were nine weeks
early.
So they lived in the NICU forsix weeks.
And we had one nurse, she wasabsolutely amazing.
She loved those kids.
I swear it was like they wereher own kids.
But when you looked at her, thefirst time I saw her, I was
like, who is that holding mybaby?
(22:12):
Right?
She had like she was pierced allover her face, she had
dreadlocks, she did not looklike a caring person, in my
opinion, right?
But when I watched her lookafter my babies, I was like,
wow, I want her to move in withme, right?
And so that goes to show likehow we judge people for what
they look like, right?
(22:32):
Yeah, and it doesn't matter whatwe're looking at, we're not just
looking at tattoos andpiercings, it's also about the
weight, right?
Absolutely, you know, like justbecause someone is overweight,
that doesn't mean they are lazy,right?
It doesn't mean that you knowthey don't move or they don't
care about themselves, right?
SPEAKER_01 (22:49):
But in today's society, it means you're less
than, right?
You're not as good as.
You know, people don't sayanything to people when they're
too thin, they say nothing.
No, like, wow, you're great.
SPEAKER_02 (23:01):
Unless you're Italian.
SPEAKER_01 (23:03):
Well, they eat.
But if you're overweight, youknow, people are like, oh geez,
you really want to eat that, oryou know, I read this thing
about like the invisible woman,you know, as we get older and we
age.
Well, someone has they'd gottenon a new medication or something
and they gained like 30 pounds.
And she said, you know what Inoticed?
People don't open doors for meanymore, they don't look at me,
(23:25):
they don't make eye contact.
She said, I never haveexperienced the other side
because I've always been smalland pretty and cute.
It's crazy.
SPEAKER_02 (23:35):
Yeah.
But you know, sometimes I wonderif that's like kind of a lesson
to be learned, right?
Like what, like, I mean, I don'twant to judge people, it's not
my place, but why is thathappening to you?
Like, why, like, why now arepeople treating you differently?
Right?
Like, I just wonder, I don'tknow, that's you know, a whole
(23:56):
new conversation as well, butyou know, like it's almost like
you know, a reflection ofsomething that I've done or
haven't done, right?
SPEAKER_01 (24:04):
Right, right, right.
I mean, you turn into a wholedifferent person when your
weight fluctuates, you know,within 30 pounds and you you
exude your uncomfortabless, youknow, your discomfort for a
better lack of better.
SPEAKER_02 (24:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So now if if you are in a roomwith other women or just one
woman who is kind of standing onthe edge of her own reinvention,
what would what would you tellthese women?
Like, what would you say?
Like, how do you get themstarted?
SPEAKER_01 (24:34):
I really like to tell people what I used to tell
myself all the time when thingswere really difficult.
So this like today is not therest of your life, right?
Today is not it.
There's always tomorrow.
If something is on your heart,if you're if you're almost just
just jump.
I mean, you are gonna kickyourself if you don't at least
try.
Wouldn't you try?
Wouldn't you like to try andfail instead of what ifing
(24:57):
yourself to death?
Like I have people tell me allthe time, yeah, I should have
been a nurse or I should havedone this.
I'm like, you're not dead.
Just take a class, go shadowsomebody, see if you like it.
If it's on your heart, it'sthere for a reason.
It's calling you back to yourpurpose, right?
Or at least your curiosity.
You could go shadow somebody andfigure out if you hate it or
(25:17):
not.
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
Yeah, it's not the truth.
I had a lady on here uh as aguest oh a couple years ago now.
She was in her 70s, but I thinkshe had gone through three
different careers, and eachcareer needed some kind of
university training.
Oh, and now and now sheinterprets dreams, right?
Like she she had this, you know,lifetime of of career change,
(25:42):
and now she's helping women, youknow, deal with their dreams.
And I think, wow, what that'samazing.
Don't you think that that'samazing?
Like she has all this knowledge,and now she's helping people
understand how their thoughtscome to them.
I I'm like, wow, this woman isjust amazing.
I love that.
I know, right?
(26:02):
Yeah, yeah, because like yousaid, we go through like just
because we haven't done it uptill now, tomorrow's a new day,
right?
And you might go in, like, youknow, you might okay.
I have I wanted to be a nurse,right?
So you go, you enroll in school,you do maybe two or three
months, you go, I don't do notwant to do this, right?
Yeah, like I don't do blood,right?
(26:22):
So you give me anything thatrequires cleaning blood, and I'm
like, I'm done, I'm out.
SPEAKER_01 (26:28):
And that's okay.
I think a lot of a lot of folkswhen they're going to school or
they're going to college, youknow, it's okay to change your
mind.
That's what I tell people too.
You know, so many people giveother people flack, they're
like, Well, you changed yourmajor.
What's it gonna be this time?
It doesn't matter.
I'm discovering myself.
Maybe I wanted to do criminaljustice and now I don't, and
that is okay.
SPEAKER_02 (26:49):
We're here to serve, right?
And that doesn't mean that Ihave to serve with the first
idea I have, right?
If it takes me 20 years tofigure out what my my serving
purpose is, I will figure itout.
But I won't if I have to dosomething I'm not ready for.
SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
Yeah, and congratulations to all the
people that came into this worldwith a blueprint, and they knew
from the get that they weresupposed to be ex.
SPEAKER_02 (27:13):
Absolutely.
That's right.
Absolutely.
I love that.
So when you look ahead with yourown life, Melinda, what excites
you the most about the nextchapter you're about to start?
SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Oh my gosh, just being able to help people.
People ask me, what do you wantto do?
What do you love?
I love to help people, I love tohelp people get unstuck.
I love to see that light bulbmoment, you know.
Just as an example, if you'respeaking to someone, they feel
like they're stuck, they work anine to five, it doesn't light
their fire.
But I love working in arestaurant.
I love that buzz and that humand the smells and the people
(27:46):
and the fast and the quick.
It's like, why aren't you doingthat?
So start as a server, go throughall the channels.
If you want to be the chef, bethe chef, the manager, whatever
it is.
What is it about that energythat you like?
Maybe it's events and you thinkit's a restaurant, right?
Maybe you you need to be anevent coordinator.
So I just like to see that lightbulb moment where people just
(28:08):
say, Yeah, you know, I I reallydo.
I do like to watch kids grow.
And I and I love to be there tohelp support them.
And maybe I should open adaycare.
Like maybe that is what I'msupposed to do because I love
children.
SPEAKER_02 (28:21):
I love that.
I love that.
Although, as soon as you saidrestaurant, I'm like, seriously,
I hate cooking.
I hate it.
unknown (28:27):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (28:29):
I know that I'm trying so hard, so hard to
change that, you know, thatstatement.
And, you know, I really want tosay I love cooking, but oh, my
heart does not say that, and I'mworking on that.
SPEAKER_01 (28:42):
I go through spurts, so I've just been doing easy
things.
Last night I made ramen becauseI know there's a reward up then.
It's so good.
Oh my gosh, it was so good.
So I did that last night.
SPEAKER_02 (28:52):
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (28:54):
My my niece just graduated, you know, from grad
school, and I said, Welcome tobeing an adult, figuring out
what's for dinner every singlenight.
She's everything on reach eatall the time.
She's like, Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (29:06):
Yeah, right.
I you know, you've we've allseen those shirts that say, you
know, the thing I hate mostabout nobody told me about
adulting and you know, knowingwhat's for supper every night.
Why is that my job?
Why is that?
Why do I have to do that?
Can't it just appear?
Right.
Goodness.
(29:27):
Yeah, I love it.
So, where can our listenersconnect with you?
SPEAKER_01 (29:31):
Oh, yeah, all of my socials are the Holinda Hill
Instagram, Facebook.
Instagram is probably the best.
They can get a hold of me there.
I set up the calendarly, butmessaging me first is great.
SPEAKER_02 (29:42):
Perfect.
That's awesome.
We'll have all your contactinformation as well in the uh
show notes.
So that'll be good.
Is there anything else that youwould like to add to tell our
listeners about how they can,you know, maybe start their
reinvention or what to look forwhen they do decide?
SPEAKER_01 (29:59):
Yeah, I mean.
Just think about when you werehappiest and just make a list.
Like starting your dream is justwriting it down, making a list.
When was I happiest?
Did I live in the cold weather?
Did I live by the beach?
Was I with my parents?
Was I working with animals?
What do you love to do?
If you were in a restaurant, youheard people talking, what would
(30:22):
they have to be talking aboutfor you to interrupt them?
Right?
What is it?
You're like, oh, I don't want tosay it.
You know, so I mean follow yourheart.
If it's on your heart, it's fora reason, it's calling you.
And today isn't the rest of yourlife.
You don't have to be where youare.
You're not stuck, you're juststicky.
SPEAKER_02 (30:41):
Yeah, I love that.
Yes, thank you so much forsaying that.
I love to dance, and I know thatwhen I feel my best, I'm
dancing.
And I do not do that anymore.
There was a time, you know,where supper, when it was time
to cook supper, that musicplaylist came on and I danced
around the kitchen while Icooked.
But then I lost the joy ofcooking, and I'm like, I don't
(31:03):
get this, right?
The dancing didn't change that.
So I'm like, ah, I'm not dancingwhen I am doing something I
don't like.
You can still just dance.
That music changes your wholemood.
Yeah, it should, right?
But for unfortunately, forcooking, it did not do that.
Thank you so much for joining metoday, Melinda.
This has been so awesome.
Yes, thank you so much.
(31:24):
I appreciate it.
Thanks for listening toConfidence in Bloom, where we
celebrate the amazing,brilliant, and beautiful woman
you already are.
You don't have to look like amovie star or supermodel.
Spoiler, they don't even looklike that.
You are enough, worthy ofunconditional love, especially
from yourself.
We pour love out to everyonearound us, so it's time to give
(31:47):
that same love to you.
If you're ready to step intoyour power and boost your
confidence, I'm offeringpersonalized coaching, three
focused sessions designed tohelp you build your confidence,
define your personal brand, andstart creating your own
signature style.
Remember, she comes in everyshape and size, and the most
important thing to believe in isyourself.
(32:08):
Want to be a guest here onConfidence and Bloom?
Reach out to me on Instagram.
Email, oops, sorry, Instagram atInfobloomStyling, email Tina at
Infobloomstyling.com or visitthe Divas That Care website.
Until next time, keep bloomingconfidently.
SPEAKER_00 (32:26):
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas That Care.
Connect with us on Facebook, onInstagram, and of course on
divas that care.com, where youcan subscribe to our newsletter
so you don't miss a thing.
It's Divas the Care Radio.
Stories, strategies, and ideasto inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas the Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
(00:20):
To find out more about themovement, visit divuslippare.com
after the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
SPEAKER_02 (00:31):
Welcome to the Confidence in Bloom, where bold
women rise, shine, and own theirpower.
We all face that pesky innercritic, what I call the Itty
Bitty Shitty Committee,whispering self-sabotaging
doubts and untrue trash talkthat holds us back.
Here, we don't let that noisewin.
This is a space to celebrate thefierce, fabulous women who have
(00:54):
broken free from fear, crushedlimiting beliefs, and stepped
into their full, unstoppableselves.
Because let's be real, the mostpowerful thing any woman can
wear is her confidence.
I'm Tina Spolotini, your hostwith the Divasat Care Network,
and I will bring you realstories from women who reclaimed
their voice, embraced theirworth, and are lighting the way
(01:15):
for all of us.
Ready to bloom into your bestself?
Let's dive in.
Today I'm chatting with MelindaHill, founder of the Lifely
Liaison Success Coaching.
She's a confidence curator andempowerment coordinator who
helps people move from stuck toconfident in their careers.
She believes career growthdoesn't have to be all serious,
(01:36):
bringing encouragement and humorto every conversation.
Her mission to help people seeevery setback as a step forward.
So welcome, Melinda.
So this season we're talkingabout women and being on the
edge of reinvention.
So before we dive in, maybe youcan share a little bit more
(01:57):
about where you are right now inyour life and what reinvention
means to you.
SPEAKER_01 (02:03):
Yeah, so right now I'm in between jobs, and I feel
like, you know, once you findsomething you love, if it's
weighing on your heart and itjust keeps coming back, that
that's where you're supposed togo.
So if you don't fly out of thenest, they're gonna kick you
out, right?
So I feel like I lost my job ayear ago, and I feel like if if
(02:23):
that wouldn't have happened, Iwould have never left where I
was and would kind of stay inthat stuck feeling.
SPEAKER_02 (02:28):
So sometimes the universe gives us that little
push that we're not ready for,right?
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
But you're ready now, you'reready to move forward.
100% moving forward.
That's all it takes, right?
Is that feeling of readiness.
What was the moment or feelingthat told you that life was that
(02:50):
the change was necessary?
I mean, I I know that you know,losing your job isn't always
that, you know, it's always whenwe look back.
So what was that?
What moment did you realize thatthe change was necessary?
SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
I think when you are on your way to work, right?
And you just kind of have this,I am not doing what I'm supposed
to be doing.
Yes, my work is important.
Yes, it is helping people, butit isn't impacting people in the
way that I truly want to at ahuman level.
I can make your day go smoother.
I can clear your calendar andgive you room to breathe and
remind you to do the things youneed to do to take care of
(03:23):
yourself, but I am not seeingthat direct impact.
And that's what was missing fromall of my roles that I've had.
SPEAKER_02 (03:33):
I get that.
I get that.
Sometimes we know we live inthat circle, right?
We're constantly going aroundand around and around, and then
all of a sudden, there, youknow, it's like there's like a
little bump in that circle road,and all of a sudden we're like,
well, wait a minute, I'm doingthe same thing here and I'm
getting nowhere.
SPEAKER_01 (03:50):
Yeah, we feel stuck.
We feel like you're in this thiscycle and this grind, and you
then then my brain says, Well,what am I missing?
I'm missing something, and Idon't know what it is, but I'm
not satisfied.
SPEAKER_02 (04:03):
So that's yeah, I get that.
I get that.
Like sometimes, you know, and II find like we get so it's
because we're happy, we'recreatures of habit, right?
And so I find sometimes thehabits just continue on and on
and on until one day we justkind of wake up and go, we're
doing the same, I'm doing thesame shit every day.
(04:25):
And I just like I'm numb, like Ihave no more excitement or
energy inside me, right?
Like it's all stagnant.
Yeah, I get that.
I get that.
SPEAKER_01 (04:35):
You're not looking forward to anything.
You know what it is already.
It's very predictable, it'smonotonous, but it just seems
that that's the way it is.
That's what this life is about,and and that's what you do.
SPEAKER_02 (04:47):
Yeah, I remember, you know, when I had when I had
my kids um, you know, quiteyoung, I was only working two or
three days a week at the time.
And I worked in administrationwith a bank.
And I remember thinking, I don'twant there to be too many
challenges at work.
I have enough challenges athome, at least at work, I know
what I'm gonna be facing, right?
(05:07):
And and it's it's funny how allof a sudden they were like 16,
17, and I'm like, where's mychallenge?
Right?
Like they're too challenging.
I want something a little bitmore stay, like I still, I
guess, wanted the stability, butthat sort of became the normal,
right?
The craziness of you know,teenage life that now I wanted
(05:30):
like something a little bitmore, you know, deeper.
I was like, I'm done with thispart of my life.
SPEAKER_01 (05:37):
I know that's no, it's no, it doesn't.
You know, you you lose a part ofyourself because you're giving
so much to other people.
You have these people you haveto take care of that's your
great distraction.
So you're like, I'm busy, I haveto go to soccer, I have an
after-school program, we have topick them up.
And when the chaos is over,you're like, now what do I do?
SPEAKER_02 (05:57):
That's exactly yeah, that's exactly what happened to
me.
So tell me, was there aparticular challenge, setback,
or realization that pushed youtoward the shift?
Was there something, was there abump in that little circle road?
SPEAKER_01 (06:09):
Yeah, I always have this vegan on my head.
It doesn't matter.
Wherever I go, people come tome, they tell me their stories
in five minutes on the way tothe dressing room.
I was at Kroger the other day.
I I told this lady, I love youroutfit because it was great.
She had bright green pants on,they were velvet and a purple
shirt.
I said, I love your wholeoutfit.
She was like, Thank you.
So I'm leaving the store.
(06:30):
She's leaving the store at thesame time.
I have headphones in, I get inmy car, she's right at my
window.
I screamed, she scared me.
I said, You scared me.
I rolled down and she said, I'mso sorry.
I said, Excuse me, ma'am.
She said, You're so kind.
I have this problem.
And she just starts and shesaid, What should I do?
And I said, Oh, okay, here'swhat I would do if I were you.
(06:51):
I was supposed to help her thatday.
You know, she didn't speak a lotof English, and I had already
made a connection with herclearly.
And so she thought, well, she'salready personable.
So people just come to me, myfriends come to me, even the
leaders that I support.
I find at the end of the day I'mkind of like their sounding
board, and I help them with morethan just work life.
(07:12):
It's like, well, why are yougetting up at 6 a.m.
and taking a meeting at 6 30a.m.?
That's unacceptable.
Like, how do we build your daybetter?
Do you need to have all of thesemeetings with every single
person?
Back to no, you do not.
You can group them, you canspread them out.
They can be bi-weekly.
Because you're just wastingtime.
SPEAKER_02 (07:33):
Yeah, it gets to be that way, doesn't it?
Like sometimes we just keeppiling on the tasks, and
truthfully, like you said, wecan group them together or we
can spread them out to give youryour your mind that break,
right?
And sometimes, and I think,well, and I I also believe that
(07:54):
especially like women my age, weneed to be told that, right?
Like we don't figure it out,right?
Like we were like, if as soon assomebody says, you know, are you
busy or are you just like makinglife hard, right?
Like, because I mean everybodyuses that word, I'm busy, right?
But busy, everybody's busy,right?
(08:15):
But are you being busy becauseyou're making yourself busy or
are you busy getting thingsdone?
Right, there is a difference.
SPEAKER_01 (08:23):
You know, that I'm I'm so busy, that's your fault.
That's on you, right?
So you have to figure that out.
We weren't like brought intothis world to suffer and to go
from one to the other and haveso many meetings and
appointments in a day that wecan't get any work done or let
our brains relax, right?
We're we were brought here tolive a good life and to help
other people, right?
(08:43):
The fact that we make thisalready heavy place even
heavier, even with good things,we burn ourselves out socially,
emotionally at work.
It's crazy.
SPEAKER_02 (08:53):
It's crazy.
And the thing is, we worktowards that.
That's the sad part, right?
We're we're always competingwith the neighbor.
Like we see that the neighbor'sbusy.
Well, that means I have to bebusy, right?
Yeah, so now I'm like making alist, you know, 30, you know,
items long instead of the twothings that are super important
to me, right?
SPEAKER_01 (09:14):
Yeah, absolutely.
My one leader said, Oh, we freedup this time in my calendar,
right?
This previous department chair Iworked with, and she said, now
that means I have time for this.
And I said, No, now that meansyou have time to go take a
wellness walk, go get a coffee,take a lunch break.
So, like my brain is always liketaking care of other people and
(09:34):
making sure they're taking careof themselves.
You just don't you need somebodyto tell you to do it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:39):
You do, yeah, it's absolutely true.
And and I think you know, likein the grocery store, what
better place?
Yeah, fine.
How many times do you find womenin there that are like you can
see without even talking to themthat they're stressed?
They have to be in fourdifferent places, you know, in
10 minutes, right?
You can see that.
And I'm like, why are you doingthis to yourself?
(10:00):
You know, there's this this worddelegation, right?
There's also that, you know,that you need to take the time.
And you know, when I started torealize that I was doing the
whole, you know, task after taskafter task, I started taking
five minutes in my car, right?
I'm like, okay, I would drive tothe grocery store or wherever I
(10:20):
was running an errand, and Iwould sit in my car and I
started playing a game on myphone.
I'm gonna take five minutes,right?
If this game is gonna be twominutes, now I got carried away
with it because I tend to do,you know, I like to do the fun
stuff first.
And so sometimes I would spendlike half an hour in the car and
I'm like, holy crap, like Igotta get my shit going here.
(10:41):
Right.
But I mean, at the same time,like I when I realize that, hey,
I get to have time for myselftoo, right?
I took the time.
And I think that's one thingthat women don't think about,
right?
We're always worried about whatother people need from us,
right?
And so I'm sure that's kind ofpartly what you know you do with
(11:02):
your business, right?
Is you sort of help women ormen, whoever you're talking
with, see that you know, there'sother things we can be doing to
make to bring joy and happiness.
SPEAKER_01 (11:14):
Yeah, but people always say, Well, I don't have
time for that.
Okay, well, I would love to lookat your week with you on
honestly, look at your weekbecause I bet you have a
favorite show that you watch,and that is your decompression
time because I do it too.
So you sat on the couch for anhour, but you didn't have time,
10 minutes to sit in your carand just play a game, right?
SPEAKER_02 (11:35):
Yeah, yeah, right.
Okay, now playing it, we don'tall have to play games, right?
That's not what I'm suggesting.
But there, but there is, youknow, like instead of walking
directly to the store, you know,maybe walk, park, you know, two
or three stores away and take alittle walk, like enjoy that
time, right?
Now, I wouldn't suggest thatwith you know four or five
hundred dollars worth ofgroceries because I don't want
(11:57):
to walk across the parking lot,right?
But I mean, you know, if I'mrunning to this, like I have we
have outdoor malls here where wecan almost park in front of the
door of the store.
So often I'll park two or threestores away just so that I get
that little bit of breath offresh air or whatever, right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
So getting outside, even I would tell you, like on
the days that I have hard days,I just think to myself, okay,
you know, your day of monotonyor your worst day or the day
that you're sad is someoneelse's dream day.
You have all this time freedomyou have all the get outside,
get some air, and that that doeswonders for your mental health.
(12:34):
Just taking a walk.
SPEAKER_02 (12:35):
Isn't that the truth?
Yeah, that is so true.
You know, I was in the hospitallast week and I thought, my god,
there's so many people in herethat cannot go outside.
Some have windows, some do not,right?
And it is so beautiful outside.
There's no wind, everything isstill green, like it's just so
beautiful, and these poor peopleare stuck inside.
(12:56):
And most days I choose not to gooutside.
SPEAKER_01 (12:59):
I know it's it's hard.
It's it's the silliest thing tosay.
It's hard to go outside.
We get stuck in what we'redoing.
Yeah, it doesn't matter what itis.
You're in the house, you're onyour phone, you're on your
laptop, you're watching a show,you have laundry, dinner,
whatever.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah.
Well, even just life itself,like there's so much more I can
be doing inside.
But then again, like I'm I'mstuck in the doing, right?
Why can't I just go outside andjust be right?
SPEAKER_01 (13:25):
Not everything has to be scheduled, not everything
has to fit into this box.
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Yes, I love that.
I love that.
And I think that's that our as acoach, I think that's our job to
make everyone understand whatelse there is.
SPEAKER_01 (13:40):
Yeah, yeah.
Like you you think, oh, I'm notliving my potential, I'm not
doing what oh my gosh, I couldbe doing that so much better.
But why don't you just focus onthe wins that you had today,
those little glimmers that camethrough?
SPEAKER_02 (13:53):
Yeah, because eventually those grow, right?
And they move, they move along.
Yes, I love that.
How in the past, how in thepast, Melinda, have you handled
fear, self-doubt, and all thoseitty bitty shitty committee
ideas?
SPEAKER_01 (14:08):
Oh my gosh, you know, I stopped the negative
self-talk a long time agobecause I realized I was doing
it.
I didn't I didn't understand Iwas doing it, I was just doing
it.
And I thought, okay, I'm gonnastop right now.
I'm gonna stop you right here,self, because there's already
all this stuff out here tellingme I'm too big, I'm too skinny,
(14:29):
I'm too short, I'm not enough.
Whatever it is, you're not smartenough, you're not good enough,
right?
And I was doing it to myself.
I was telling myself, like,well, do you know you're fat,
you can't fit in those jeans.
It doesn't matter.
Stop that.
You are you.
This is who I am, all of me,every day, whatever size,
whatever education level I have,I have enough exterior noise
(14:53):
telling me what I should be.
I don't need to do that tomyself.
So I stopped it.
I stopped overanalyzing mypictures.
SPEAKER_02 (15:01):
Good for you.
And how, okay, so I I'm justinterested in how you managed to
do that.
Like, did you hire a coach tohelp you with those limited
beliefs?
No, you just said, enough isenough.
There is no need for that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:14):
I coached myself.
The the issue is I don't I don'tthink a lot of people realize
it.
So when I'm around uh a newperson, uh, for example, someone
was drawing my blood, right?
And I said, You don't have toapologize.
And she's like, Oh, I know, I'mso sorry.
And I said, She's just doing itagain.
She said, I am sorry, I bet you10 times in the first 10 minutes
(15:37):
of just talking.
She goes, I do do that a lot.
I'm just not very confident.
And I said, Why?
She just did, she said, I myparents put a lot of pressure on
me, and I always just felt likeI was in a way.
I was always like, I'm sorry.
And and a lot of that is alsobeing a woman, right?
We're told to apologize and besmall and scoot over and
accommodate, don't take upspace, strength yourself down.
(15:58):
No, no, so I think it takessomebody else to to help you
realize what you're doing.
I just I was in a focus group,and this one lady just broke
down and she said, I wearcertain clothing so people don't
stare at my stomach, so theykeep their eyes here, right?
And I thought, oh my gosh.
(16:18):
And that's when I realized wewere all speaking negatively to
ourselves.
And her face turned feet red.
We were all in tears by the endof it.
It was it was great though,because that probably also
helped me realize how mean I wasbeing to myself.
I didn't need to do that, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:34):
But isn't it okay?
So that I mean, I know thatthat's a whole new conversation,
right?
Because we could talk clothingand body image for hours.
But one thing I I do have to sayis how sad is that?
It's terrible.
Like this poor woman thinks thateveryone is staring at her
stomach.
Like, why?
(16:55):
Why do you think that that'swhat we're looking at?
Right?
When I look at you, I'm lookingat your face.
That's what's in front of me.
But if you were your, you know,okay, we're on camera, but if
you were sitting in front of mein real, I'm not checking out
your body.
I want to talk to you.
Like you're I'm talking to yourlike your insides really, like
your heart, your soul.
(17:17):
Yeah, yeah.
And yet we have this image ofeveryone only seeing us for what
we are physically.
We we think our flaws.
Yeah, yeah.
It's you know, it it makes me sosad.
And I know I'm I know I'm guiltyof it too.
I have that itty bitty shittycommittee that speaks very
(17:37):
loudly to me when I don't wantit to be, right?
But I don't know.
How do you how do you work withthat?
How do you tell someone?
Like, I'll just say, like, I'mnot here to look at your, you
know, your stomach or your bodyor your you know, your lopsided
ears.
I'm not looking at that.
I'm looking at you.
I want to talk to you, right?
Yeah, that's like when someonecomes to and says, you know, oh
(17:59):
my house is a mess, but pleasecome in, let's have a coffee,
right?
I'm not there to visit yourhouse, I'm here to visit you.
I don't care what's going onaround your house, right?
Now, I don't want to sit in youknow dirt or whatever.
No, but I mean, if your house isjust untidy, hey, we all live in
a house, my house gets untied.
Come on over.
I can just play with you.
Exactly.
(18:20):
How do we make women?
I think women are worse at thisthan men are, but how do we make
them understand that it's okay?
SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
So one of my very good friends, she always tells
me how old she is.
She's 65.
I said, I always say, I don'tcare.
I love you.
You're my friend.
To me, I don't, I I always Idon't care, it doesn't matter.
But she will always say, Well,I'm not wearing I'm not wearing
those shorts.
I'll wear shorts because of mylegs, they're veiny.
And I said, You know what?
Who cares?
If you die tomorrow, are yougonna be mad at yourself because
(18:51):
you didn't wear shorts?
Who cares?
If you get to look at my legs,you're welcome.
And if you don't like them,don't look at them.
You are 65 years old, and you'vebeen telling your the yourself
these negative stories for yourwhole life, and she has.
So we we work on it.
I think she did wear shorts theother day.
We were together.
I didn't say anything because Ididn't want it to be a focus,
(19:12):
but I was so proud of her.
SPEAKER_02 (19:14):
Yeah, and you do that little dance of joy inside
to you, right?
Yeah, so I have, you know, it itkind of brought me to think.
So, you know, we live in a worldwhere tattoos are a fashion,
like it's a kind of a must,right?
And my in it, so in especiallyin my family, my generation,
it's still a no-no, right?
(19:35):
Like, so my I have three kids.
My daughter is not fullytattooed, but she's she's very
tattooed.
I don't like it.
Like, I don't like tattoos, Idon't care if like if you like
it, please by all means do whatmakes you happy.
When she started coming homewith all these tattoos, I was
like, you need to stop doingthis.
And I did, we did fight, wefought over it.
(19:56):
But it seemed like the more Igot mad at her, the more she
wanted them.
And so finally I just went, youknow what?
It's your body, you do what yougotta do.
But when people judge you, youhave to accept the judgments
because if I'm judging you andI'm your mother, right, there
are other people who are gonnajudge you just the same.
(20:16):
Now, I do, I still don't likethem.
I'm not gonna say that they'regrowing on me because they do,
they are not, but I also get it,like especially these young
kids, they follow the trends.
When I was a kid, there thankGod it wasn't a trend, but I
tried to follow as much as Icould whatever the trend was.
So I get it, like I dounderstand it.
I just didn't do anything that'sgonna like permanently mark my
(20:39):
body, right?
I mean, let's face it, thesetattoos are you've got them
forever.
It doesn't matter where you leadyou, right?
Absolutely.
And and so when you were sayingabout the, you know, the not
wearing the shorts, you know,you can go without the shorts,
but once you put a tattoo onyour body, like you're you're
opening yourself up to more.
Now, yes, we should acceptpeople for who they are.
(20:59):
I agree, like I believe that100%.
I do have a hard time with thatthough, right?
Especially when I look at mybeautiful daughter and I think,
why, why would you do that toyourself, right?
But you know, it's kind of thesame thing, right?
Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_01 (21:14):
I have tattoos and I put them all where I can hide
them, right?
Because I used to work in ahospital setting, and if you
have them, they needed to becovered.
I mean, you have to work closeto the street, it was a whole
thing.
But now I see the youngergenerations and they are sleeved
up and everything, and I'm justlike, wow, we definitely could
not do that.
(21:35):
We could, but we wouldn't havegotten a job.
Now, I mean, you go to thehospital and you have people
working on you, and they're theyhave tattoos everywhere.
You know, I I think it'sawesome.
I can't, I still can't do like Icouldn't do the, you know what I
mean?
It just I needed to have no tobe hidden if I want them to be.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Of course.
And I mean, yeah, like and thisis a body image thing too, but I
remember when my twins wereborn, they were nine weeks
early.
So they lived in the NICU forsix weeks.
And we had one nurse, she wasabsolutely amazing.
She loved those kids.
I swear it was like they wereher own kids.
But when you looked at her, thefirst time I saw her, I was
like, who is that holding mybaby?
(22:12):
Right?
She had like she was pierced allover her face, she had
dreadlocks, she did not looklike a caring person, in my
opinion, right?
But when I watched her lookafter my babies, I was like,
wow, I want her to move in withme, right?
And so that goes to show likehow we judge people for what
they look like, right?
(22:32):
Yeah, and it doesn't matter whatwe're looking at, we're not just
looking at tattoos andpiercings, it's also about the
weight, right?
Absolutely, you know, like justbecause someone is overweight,
that doesn't mean they are lazy,right?
It doesn't mean that you knowthey don't move or they don't
care about themselves, right?
SPEAKER_01 (22:49):
But in today's society, it means you're less
than, right?
You're not as good as.
You know, people don't sayanything to people when they're
too thin, they say nothing.
No, like, wow, you're great.
SPEAKER_02 (23:01):
Unless you're Italian.
SPEAKER_01 (23:03):
Well, they eat.
But if you're overweight, youknow, people are like, oh geez,
you really want to eat that, oryou know, I read this thing
about like the invisible woman,you know, as we get older and we
age.
Well, someone has they'd gottenon a new medication or something
and they gained like 30 pounds.
And she said, you know what Inoticed?
People don't open doors for meanymore, they don't look at me,
(23:25):
they don't make eye contact.
She said, I never haveexperienced the other side
because I've always been smalland pretty and cute.
It's crazy.
SPEAKER_02 (23:35):
Yeah.
But you know, sometimes I wonderif that's like kind of a lesson
to be learned, right?
Like what, like, I mean, I don'twant to judge people, it's not
my place, but why is thathappening to you?
Like, why, like, why now arepeople treating you differently?
Right?
Like, I just wonder, I don'tknow, that's you know, a whole
(23:56):
new conversation as well, butyou know, like it's almost like
you know, a reflection ofsomething that I've done or
haven't done, right?
SPEAKER_01 (24:04):
Right, right, right.
I mean, you turn into a wholedifferent person when your
weight fluctuates, you know,within 30 pounds and you you
exude your uncomfortabless, youknow, your discomfort for a
better lack of better.
SPEAKER_02 (24:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So now if if you are in a roomwith other women or just one
woman who is kind of standing onthe edge of her own reinvention,
what would what would you tellthese women?
Like, what would you say?
Like, how do you get themstarted?
SPEAKER_01 (24:34):
I really like to tell people what I used to tell
myself all the time when thingswere really difficult.
So this like today is not therest of your life, right?
Today is not it.
There's always tomorrow.
If something is on your heart,if you're if you're almost just
just jump.
I mean, you are gonna kickyourself if you don't at least
try.
Wouldn't you try?
Wouldn't you like to try andfail instead of what ifing
(24:57):
yourself to death?
Like I have people tell me allthe time, yeah, I should have
been a nurse or I should havedone this.
I'm like, you're not dead.
Just take a class, go shadowsomebody, see if you like it.
If it's on your heart, it'sthere for a reason.
It's calling you back to yourpurpose, right?
Or at least your curiosity.
You could go shadow somebody andfigure out if you hate it or
(25:17):
not.
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
Yeah, it's not the truth.
I had a lady on here uh as aguest oh a couple years ago now.
She was in her 70s, but I thinkshe had gone through three
different careers, and eachcareer needed some kind of
university training.
Oh, and now and now sheinterprets dreams, right?
Like she she had this, you know,lifetime of of career change,
(25:42):
and now she's helping women, youknow, deal with their dreams.
And I think, wow, what that'samazing.
Don't you think that that'samazing?
Like she has all this knowledge,and now she's helping people
understand how their thoughtscome to them.
I I'm like, wow, this woman isjust amazing.
I love that.
I know, right?
(26:02):
Yeah, yeah, because like yousaid, we go through like just
because we haven't done it uptill now, tomorrow's a new day,
right?
And you might go in, like, youknow, you might okay.
I have I wanted to be a nurse,right?
So you go, you enroll in school,you do maybe two or three
months, you go, I don't do notwant to do this, right?
Yeah, like I don't do blood,right?
(26:22):
So you give me anything thatrequires cleaning blood, and I'm
like, I'm done, I'm out.
SPEAKER_01 (26:28):
And that's okay.
I think a lot of a lot of folkswhen they're going to school or
they're going to college, youknow, it's okay to change your
mind.
That's what I tell people too.
You know, so many people giveother people flack, they're
like, Well, you changed yourmajor.
What's it gonna be this time?
It doesn't matter.
I'm discovering myself.
Maybe I wanted to do criminaljustice and now I don't, and
that is okay.
SPEAKER_02 (26:49):
We're here to serve, right?
And that doesn't mean that Ihave to serve with the first
idea I have, right?
If it takes me 20 years tofigure out what my my serving
purpose is, I will figure itout.
But I won't if I have to dosomething I'm not ready for.
SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
Yeah, and congratulations to all the
people that came into this worldwith a blueprint, and they knew
from the get that they weresupposed to be ex.
SPEAKER_02 (27:13):
Absolutely.
That's right.
Absolutely.
I love that.
So when you look ahead with yourown life, Melinda, what excites
you the most about the nextchapter you're about to start?
SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Oh my gosh, just being able to help people.
People ask me, what do you wantto do?
What do you love?
I love to help people, I love tohelp people get unstuck.
I love to see that light bulbmoment, you know.
Just as an example, if you'respeaking to someone, they feel
like they're stuck, they work anine to five, it doesn't light
their fire.
But I love working in arestaurant.
I love that buzz and that humand the smells and the people
(27:46):
and the fast and the quick.
It's like, why aren't you doingthat?
So start as a server, go throughall the channels.
If you want to be the chef, bethe chef, the manager, whatever
it is.
What is it about that energythat you like?
Maybe it's events and you thinkit's a restaurant, right?
Maybe you you need to be anevent coordinator.
So I just like to see that lightbulb moment where people just
(28:08):
say, Yeah, you know, I I reallydo.
I do like to watch kids grow.
And I and I love to be there tohelp support them.
And maybe I should open adaycare.
Like maybe that is what I'msupposed to do because I love
children.
SPEAKER_02 (28:21):
I love that.
I love that.
Although, as soon as you saidrestaurant, I'm like, seriously,
I hate cooking.
I hate it.
unknown (28:27):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (28:29):
I know that I'm trying so hard, so hard to
change that, you know, thatstatement.
And, you know, I really want tosay I love cooking, but oh, my
heart does not say that, and I'mworking on that.
SPEAKER_01 (28:42):
I go through spurts, so I've just been doing easy
things.
Last night I made ramen becauseI know there's a reward up then.
It's so good.
Oh my gosh, it was so good.
So I did that last night.
SPEAKER_02 (28:52):
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (28:54):
My my niece just graduated, you know, from grad
school, and I said, Welcome tobeing an adult, figuring out
what's for dinner every singlenight.
She's everything on reach eatall the time.
She's like, Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (29:06):
Yeah, right.
I you know, you've we've allseen those shirts that say, you
know, the thing I hate mostabout nobody told me about
adulting and you know, knowingwhat's for supper every night.
Why is that my job?
Why is that?
Why do I have to do that?
Can't it just appear?
Right.
Goodness.
(29:27):
Yeah, I love it.
So, where can our listenersconnect with you?
SPEAKER_01 (29:31):
Oh, yeah, all of my socials are the Holinda Hill
Instagram, Facebook.
Instagram is probably the best.
They can get a hold of me there.
I set up the calendarly, butmessaging me first is great.
SPEAKER_02 (29:42):
Perfect.
That's awesome.
We'll have all your contactinformation as well in the uh
show notes.
So that'll be good.
Is there anything else that youwould like to add to tell our
listeners about how they can,you know, maybe start their
reinvention or what to look forwhen they do decide?
SPEAKER_01 (29:59):
Yeah, I mean.
Just think about when you werehappiest and just make a list.
Like starting your dream is justwriting it down, making a list.
When was I happiest?
Did I live in the cold weather?
Did I live by the beach?
Was I with my parents?
Was I working with animals?
What do you love to do?
If you were in a restaurant, youheard people talking, what would
(30:22):
they have to be talking aboutfor you to interrupt them?
Right?
What is it?
You're like, oh, I don't want tosay it.
You know, so I mean follow yourheart.
If it's on your heart, it's fora reason, it's calling you.
And today isn't the rest of yourlife.
You don't have to be where youare.
You're not stuck, you're juststicky.
SPEAKER_02 (30:41):
Yeah, I love that.
Yes, thank you so much forsaying that.
I love to dance, and I know thatwhen I feel my best, I'm
dancing.
And I do not do that anymore.
There was a time, you know,where supper, when it was time
to cook supper, that musicplaylist came on and I danced
around the kitchen while Icooked.
But then I lost the joy ofcooking, and I'm like, I don't
(31:03):
get this, right?
The dancing didn't change that.
So I'm like, ah, I'm not dancingwhen I am doing something I
don't like.
You can still just dance.
That music changes your wholemood.
Yeah, it should, right?
But for unfortunately, forcooking, it did not do that.
Thank you so much for joining metoday, Melinda.
This has been so awesome.
Yes, thank you so much.
(31:24):
I appreciate it.
Thanks for listening toConfidence in Bloom, where we
celebrate the amazing,brilliant, and beautiful woman
you already are.
You don't have to look like amovie star or supermodel.
Spoiler, they don't even looklike that.
You are enough, worthy ofunconditional love, especially
from yourself.
We pour love out to everyonearound us, so it's time to give
(31:47):
that same love to you.
If you're ready to step intoyour power and boost your
confidence, I'm offeringpersonalized coaching, three
focused sessions designed tohelp you build your confidence,
define your personal brand, andstart creating your own
signature style.
Remember, she comes in everyshape and size, and the most
important thing to believe in isyourself.
(32:08):
Want to be a guest here onConfidence and Bloom?
Reach out to me on Instagram.
Email, oops, sorry, Instagram atInfobloomStyling, email Tina at
Infobloomstyling.com or visitthe Divas That Care website.
Until next time, keep bloomingconfidently.
SPEAKER_00 (32:26):
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas That Care.
Connect with us on Facebook, onInstagram, and of course on
divas that care.com, where youcan subscribe to our newsletter
so you don't miss a thing.
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