The Power of Gentle Growth

Come and listen to Host Tina Spoletini chat with her special guest Valerie Owolo on her podcast Confidence in Bloom.

Valerie Owolo is a Senior Change Management Consultant with a Masters in Organizational Psychology from Columbia University who sits at the intersection of innovation and digital transformation. She’s currently growing her House of Chloe Bloom lifestyle design brand through micro activations that will help inform her holistic framework to support her clients in designing a life they love anchored in design thinking, change management and faith concepts. In a world where change happens almost daily and the speed of change with AI can cause many to feel unease, it’s the perfect time to recalibrate and understand not just how to design a life but one that you adore. One where you gently become all you are meant to be one micro step at a time. She does this already by staying anchored in her love for the arts, innovation, travel, fashion, giving back to her communities, finding ways of moving like dance, tennis, swim and golf and building a legacy that allows her to connect with others authentically. Each day is a blank canvas and she hopes to help her clients rewrite the narrative of their stories through a process that gently ushers them into the next best version of themselves. 

What does it mean to design a life you truly love? Valerie Owolo, a senior change management consultant with a master's in organizational psychology, offers a refreshing framework that blends design thinking, psychology, and faith to help create lives of authentic joy and purpose.

Valerie describes her personal "creative renaissance" that began during the pandemic when she reconnected with childhood interests and asked herself what she needed to thrive. Her approach centers on human-centered design (HCD), focusing on creating an "infrastructure of support" across different facets of life. Through what she calls "micro activations" – small, manageable steps that help move us forward – we can begin transforming our lives without feeling overwhelmed.

The conversation explores the crucial role of gentleness in personal growth. In a culture obsessed with hustle and productivity, Valerie advocates for a softer approach, sharing her experience with breathwork as a grounding practice. "One of the things that I've learned over the last couple of years was realizing that breathwork is a powerful tool," she explains, describing how it helps her perform better while feeling more connected to herself.

Particularly timely is Valerie's perspective on navigating change in an AI-dominated world. While acknowledging AI as a powerful tool for transformation, she emphasizes maintaining our critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence. "If we don't get in the game," she notes, "then our perspectives, our ability to reason, won't be reflected in these systems."

Fashion emerges as another dimension of Valerie's framework, illustrating how clothing can express our authentic selves while building confidence. "When you look good, you feel good," she explains, describing how what we wear can reflect our inner state and impact how we're perceived.

Whether you're feeling stuck, seeking meaningful change, or simply curious about designing a more intentional life, this conversation offers practical insights along with the encouraging reminder that "each day is a blank canvas" waiting for your unique expression.

For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and
ideas to inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas that Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
To find out more about themovement, visit divasthatcarecom

(00:24):
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After the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
One just has to pick up a magazine or turn on a
television to see that, as women, we are bombarded daily with
media images of female physicalperfection, setting up the most
unrealistic of expectations asto how we should look.
No wonder female bodyconfidence is falling while
incidents of eating disordersare on the rise.
What's most alarming is the waythis affects young girls.

(00:54):
A reduced sense of self-worthcan create anxiety, stress, even
depression, causingrelationship issues, while
potentially impairing academicand job performance.
In direct contrast, confidencein Bloom is designed to
reinforce the truth and reassureevery woman who has ever felt
inadequate, unworthy or tossedaside because of how she looks,

(01:18):
that no matter her age, shape orbackground, you matter.
You are enough now.
Background you matter, you areenough now.
I, tina Spoletini, a woman ofsubstance, insist women deserve
to be happy, confident,successful and totally in love
with themselves in their ownbodies, just the way they are.
Through an ongoing series ofintriguing conversations with

(01:38):
women from all walks of life,who are all extraordinary in
their own right, we will embarkupon a journey of ultimate
self-acceptance and empowerment.
Together we'll share stories,laugh, learn, maybe even shed a
few tears when it becomes clearjust how far many women have
come to realize how wonderfullife is when you stand in your

(01:59):
own power, feeling fantastic inyour own skin.
Valerie Awalo is my guest today.
Valerie Awolo is a seniorchange management consultant
with a master's inorganizational psychology from
Columbia University, who sits atthe intersection of innovation

(02:20):
and digital transformation.
She's currently growing herHouse of Chloe Bloom lifestyle
brand through micro activationsthat will help inform her
holistic framework to supporther clients in designing a life
they love, anchored in designingthinking, change management and
faith concepts.
In a world where change happensalmost daily and the speed of

(02:43):
change with AI can cause many tofeel unease, it's the perfect
time to recalibrate andunderstand not just how to
design a life, but one that youadore.
She does this already bystaying anchored in her love for
the arts, innovation, travel,fashion, giving back to her

(03:07):
communities and finding ways ofmoving, like dance, tennis, swim
and golf, and building a legacythat allows her to connect with
others authentically.
Each day is a blank canvas andshe hopes to help her clients

(03:31):
rewrite the narrative of theirstories through a process that
gently ushers them into the nextbest version of themselves.
All right, well, welcome Valerie.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm great.
I'm great it's like beautifuloutside here in Edmonton it's.
You know, summer's definitelyon its way.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Tell us where you're calling in from, sure?
So I'm calling in from New York, in the city proper, in
Manhattan, and it's also verybeautiful today too, so grateful
that those rainy days arebehind us and that summer is
finally kicking in yes, yeah, sogood.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
I love this time of year.
I always feel so light andcarefree, right, Like it's like
it's party season, right, yeah.
Yeah, I want you to tell me alittle bit about yourself.
I mean, I read your bio and youknow, we know that you, you're
into many things.
You love sports, you're, you'reactive, you love fashion.

(04:20):
You know you have okay.
So I mentioned something about,or in your bio it's mentioned
that you design a life for yourclients.
What does that mean?
Like, what is that?

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Sure.
So I think I'll start with withme personally.
So I think about three to fouryears ago, I had almost a
creative renaissance, and inthat I mean that I decided that
I needed to do something toreally stoke my creative juices
more than I already was, right.
So I had already designed somesort of product internally for
some clients, but I needed more,and I needed it for myself,

(04:55):
right?
And so I started to really justthink, okay, what do I need to
be able to thrive, to be able tofeel like I'm doing life well
and to really love my life?
And so, you know, the pandemic,of course, was a perfect time to
really start to explore that.
And so I kind of went back andsaid, all right, what are the
things that I wanted to do orreally enjoyed when I was a kid?
And so from there, I started toreally just think about, from

(05:18):
an HCD or designed thinkingperspective, which is focused on
, you know, the human at thecenter of everything, which is
me, or was me right To be ableto say what's going to feel the
best for me, what's going tobring the most value for me and
what's going to really help meto thrive, right?

(05:39):
And so I have become more of amulti passionate person, if you
will, or you could just say I'mall over the place, whichever,
and so really, what it lookslike is making sure that,
holistically, I'm considering,for my clients and for myself,
all the different areas orfacets of life where you can
build in some infrastructure ofsupport, whether it's formally

(06:00):
or informally, right, so maybeyou hire a professional coach,
for example, to help you tolearn to swim, or maybe you just
find a friend or teach yourself, right, whatever.
It is an infrastructure ofsupport to help you to really
build and design the life thatyou want and also be able to
manage that change.
Well, right, because I thinkthat sometimes, when you start

(06:20):
to think about designing a lifethat you love and a lifestyle,
you think I can do anything andyou can.
But sometimes things like costcome in, like how much is a
tennis racket?
Well, a good one probably costsa few hundred dollars, right,
and so you have to really thinkabout all right, so I know what
I enjoy doing, but how much isit going to cost to make this
happen?
Right, and really building thatinfrastructure of support?

(06:43):
So, the financial side, even.
So, that's that's what I meanwhen I think about designing a
life for myself and for clientsthat I love and adore and that
really helps me to thrive.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
I love that.
I love that and you know.
It's funny that you say youknow a tennis racket could cost
you know a few hundred dollars.
Because holy man, right, Ihaven't played tennis.
I was like I think eight ornine and I know my mom and dad
did not spend that kind of moneyon you know our tennis racket
at that time.
But at the same time, like it's,it just goes to show, like you
know, yes, we want change, yes,we want to live the best life we

(07:16):
have, but it doesn't just mean,you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna
live the best life today.
Right, there's so much moreinvolved and you know, like,
purchasing, like the materialsthat you need to make that
happen, is a big part of it,right, and then, like you said,
hiring a coach Well, that againcosts a little bit of money.

(07:38):
So you need to plan that, right.
And so you take your clientsright from the beginning, right,
you're like like, okay, what doyou want, what do you need to
get there, and how are we goingto get you there?

Speaker 3 (07:50):
yeah yeah, I love that, I love that okay, you know
, and you know one more thing onthat too.
Just thinking about it, I'm notalways the person with the
right answers right or havingall the answers, and I think I
feel comfortable saying thatbecause, as a consultant, we see
a lot of times it depends rightFor everything that you were
asked about, and so sometimesit's about connecting people to

(08:14):
the right resources, and I findthat that's when things like AI
can actually be really superhelpful right To be able to
point people in the bestdirection for themselves,
because designing a life isreally really nuanced and it can
also change and you've got tobe prepared for that change and
you can respond to change in avariety of ways, just depending
on what's going on in your life.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
You know, that's true .
And then, like you said, if youuse like, I use chat GPT a lot
and I like it because it'sneutral, right, it's not going
to say, you know, okay, tina,this is what you will want or
this is what you need, it's likeyou know, it doesn't matter
who's typing in the question,it's going to give like a

(08:55):
neutral, generic answer, right,and if you want, you can.
Then, from that answer, you cannarrow it down to something
more specific to yourself, butat least it gives you, like, if
you're just have this idea, Iwant to learn how to play tennis
, how do I start?
Right, it'll give you, it'llgive you that, right, you're
gonna need this, you're gonnaneed that.

(09:15):
You know what area are you in?
Do you want me to find, youknow, coaches for you, or
whatever?
You know, whatever it might be?
So that's yeah, that's reallygood.
I love that, and you know, Ithink also too, and you're, I'm
going to ask you later on andyou can speak on this more I
think every single one of us inthis world is going to have to
learn how to rely on AI muchmore than we do right now.

(09:38):
Right, I mean it's yes, it'spretty apparent to me that it's
going to.
You know, we need to learn howto use it as a tool in our
everyday life.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, I agree 100%.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah.
So I want to talk a little bitabout your House of Chloe Bloom
brand.
Sure, so in your bio you saythat you use micro activations
to support transformation.
Can you share a little bit onmicroactivation and how it would
help someone to move forward?
And I mean you say gently Ihope you mean gently, because we

(10:11):
don't want to, like you know,10 steps forward, but I mean
obviously you use it to empowerus women or your clients anyway.
So I'm not sure what if you'redealing with clients that are
women and male or just women.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Sure, sure, I think for me what that means is and I
might have coined the term,forgive me if I did it, but for
me that means just taking steps,doing projects.
If you will, that will help youto move forward, right.
So if you're thinking about it,doesn't have to be sports, but
maybe it's just that you're intothe arts, and so that's a great
example for myself also.
So for me, what that meant wasreaching out to museums about

(10:48):
their memberships, aboutdifferent patron groups, trying
to understand the opportunitiesto get involved in the arts,
either personally or just tolearn about the arts, right, and
so working towards that plan isa way that you can do that.
And so one of the things that Idid and it's been over, you
know, a series of years thatI've been working through this,
you know, not necessarily havinga name to it, but pulling

(11:10):
together a cafe where it'sreally just a bunch of different
types of artists and musicianswho come together to just share
their work, right.
So they're local, they'repeople who may have been
undiscovered or who were reallyjust kind of grassroots and
maybe even, you know, singing inthe subways or just, you know,
have never shared a poem before.

(11:31):
But that's a micro activation,so it's not a big, huge thing on
social media or anywherenecessarily, but it's big for
you and it's a small step thatyou can take to move forward
right and pursuing some of thosegoals and making your life one
that you love and adore.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
I love that.
That made me think actually ofthat movie on Netflix.
Um, the life list, right, she,she's given a list.
Well, she's re-given her list.
She wrote a list when she was13 and then when her mom dies,
she makes her go in and do allthe things on this list and one
of them is do stand-up comedy.
Right, I love it.

(12:11):
So she said she had still thesame jokes that she had written
at 13 and so she's now like wellinto her 20s and she, the jokes
were not funny, right, but butat the same time, like everyone
in the room had to sit andlisten to her and it's like that
step forward, right, you don'tknow, you don't know, like you
think you're funny and then youget there like this Whoa, I am

(12:32):
not funny, right.
Or the other way around, right,like it could work either way.
Yeah, so you blend designthinking, psychology and faith
in your work.
How do these three elementssupport someone who's feeling
stuck or misaligned in theircurrent life path?

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Sure, so I think you know when I think about the
faith and the psych piece, forme those, those go hand in hand.
So if we're thinking about, forexample, the idea of being seen
and known and loved and valued,you know, one of the things
that I've been thinking aboutlately, and just kind of having
conversations around, is thisidea or concept of being seen,
and it's actually a fear thatmay not be realized a lot of

(13:12):
times.
That might keep people feelingstuck, and there's a lot of
reasons for that, right?
So if you I don't know go tothe soccer field and you're like
I want to play, learn to playsoccer today.
And so they say, all right,come on.
And so you get there and youmiss the ball when you're about
to kick it and then the other,the other team, scores on you,
right?
So now you're feeling like afailure.

(13:32):
Now you're like, oh my gosh,what do I do?
What was I thinking?
Right?
But I think, at the same time,that's a great opportunity for
you to just reflect back toyourself.
All right, I feel seen, Imissed it.
You know, I might need somepractice or I might need to, you
know, hire a coach, whatever itmay be, or just get advice from
friends, right, whatever it is.
At that moment there's anopportunity to feel seen, known,

(13:55):
loved and valued and I think,in terms of faith, there's
there's lots of scripture thattalks about that right.
There's lots of right and thatthat's.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
I love that example because we see that so like
we're in um hockey playoffsright now and so sweet.
We see, we see little mistakeslike that often, right, and so
you know it's.
It's very quick for you know,especially the fans, to say, oh
my god, how did he mess up likethat?
Right.
But the reality is right.
Doesn't matter who's behind theball right or behind the kick,

(14:26):
mistakes happen, right.
And that I mean you're outthere doing the best you can.
I truly believe that you knoweverything that we're doing.
We're doing the best we can atthat moment.
Yeah, yeah right.
Absolutely.
It's not necessarily.
Yeah, maybe I could have given.
You know, if it was yesterday Icould have given more than you

(14:47):
know I can today, but today Ijust don't have that in me.
So yeah, I love that.
I love that you said that.
Yeah, so now change can feeloverwhelming.
You know, with all of us we'regoing to touch a little bit here
on the AI subject.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
So, with the rise of AI and this you growing and
changing every moment of the day, basically, right, yeah.
And I think that a lot ofpeople are concerned and they're
saying you know, am I going tolose my job?
Is my job going to be replacedby AI?
And unfortunately, as we'veheard from executives, right
from some of these AI companies,the answer is yes, but I think

(15:42):
that at the end of the day, wehave to have some anchoring and
hope, and I think that when youhave faith, there are mechanisms
that can help you to get backto hope.
So then you're dreaming again,you're curious again, you're
thinking again about what can Ido next?
What do I have in my toolbox tohelp me to move forward?
Now, at the same time, this hasto be in phases, right, so you

(16:06):
have to gain some awareness,first and foremost, right.
So, let's say, you're thinkingabout changing the way that you
dress, right, and so we knowthat.
You know you think about MetGala and dandyism, right, that
was, it was an incredible themethis year.
There were so many amazinglooks on the red carpet this
year and the whole thing comesback to the fact that when you,

(16:30):
you know, when you dress good,you feel good, but you're also
perceived better, right.
And so we're thinking about howdo we kind of take that idea
and that concept and make it ourown.
Well, we could always go to AIand start to kind of brainstorm
about what we want to do tochange the way that we look
right or the way that we dress,and I think for me that might

(16:52):
look like you know, putting intocloud, for example, just kind
of prompting it around, thetypes of options I might have
for the way that I want to lookright.
So then now I can think aboutif I want to embody dandyism,
like they're saying, or maybe Iwant to embody a more feminine
and floral look, right.
So now it can kind of tell memaybe brands that I can consider

(17:13):
right.
It can tell me, maybe, colorsthat I can consider right.
Like there's a lot of thingsthat we can leverage AI for that
will help to support us interms of, you know, building
some awareness, someunderstanding and then finally
being able to jump into whateverproject it will be or whatever
it is that we need to do to beable to get unstuck and move

(17:36):
forward, because AI can be scary.
But I think, as long as we'rethinking of it as a tool that we
can leverage.
It's really something that canbe augmentative, if you will,
and so it's going to support usas long as we take ownership and
stay encouraged, because, youknow, if there's anything about
faith too, it's about communityat the end of the day too.

(17:56):
So, really just leaning onpeople as well, to make sure
that you know, if we don't havethe tools or if we don't
understand AI and how we canleverage it for ourselves, that
we, you know, if we don't havethe tools or if we don't
understand AI, and how we canleverage it for ourselves, that
we, you know we reach out topeople who can help us and get
us trained up so that, at theend of the day, we can adopt it
and leverage it for ourselves.
Does that answer your?

Speaker 2 (18:14):
question.
I think so.
I think so and it made me think.
You know, like lots of you know, like we all know, there's lots
of scammers out there andscamming you know it comes in so
many different.
You know such a high range ofactivity, certain level of

(18:45):
understanding that we all needto have so that when we are, you
know, approached I guess is theword with a potential scammer,
maybe we can have, if weunderstand it better, we have a
better, we can get a better gripon how to handle it.
I'm not really sure what yourview on that is, but I feel like
if we can understand AI and howit works a little bit better

(19:06):
than well what I know of itright now, anyway you know,
maybe then you know we're alittle bit more protected as far
as scamming.
What do you think on that?
I know that we're not reallytalking about that, but it just
made me think of that questionsure.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
So I think there's a few things here.
So AI is it is it is movingfaster than we can even imagine
right or put a finger on.
But if you do think aboutsomething, for like example,
scamming, I think that you knowone AI just blackmailed an
engineer on its own because ittried to shut it down in some

(19:43):
sense.
Yeah, I know it's wild, and soit is a very powerful tool, but
I also think that it still makesmistakes and, unfortunately,
there are some biases, there aresome stereotypes, but the thing
is that we again have the power, and now is a time to begin to
take ownership and learn, sothat we are training up the AI

(20:05):
in ways that are fair, in waysthat are equitable and in ways
that help us to be able to, Iguess, distinguish the truth
from a hallucination, which isliterally one of the terms when
you talk about AI, Because itmay not always tell you the
exact truth, but it's not lyingto you, right?
Because, again, it's aboutperception, it's about the

(20:28):
context, right?
And so I think one of the mostimportant things we have to do
as people, aside from AI, butespecially when we're thinking
about AI, is remember that wehave to build up our own
critical thinking skills andemotional intelligence skills.
And so emotional intelligence Iwon't dig in too deep, but
definitely passionate about thattoo.
It requires things likeconflict resolution.

(20:50):
So if you feel like you'rebeing scammed, all right.
Ai seems to indicate that youknow.
This may not be what it seems.
Having those difficultconversations is part of
emotional intelligence, right,and so if you're, I won't name
any brands, but if you'relooking for a brand that will
really help you to feel yourbest, right this summer, really,

(21:10):
just you know, they mightsuggest one, but taking the time
to take a look at their socialmedia may not be reality, but
take a look at the brand thatthey're putting out there.
Engage with their brand.
If they have pop ups oractivations they have a brick
and mortar store Go there, talkto people.
I think that we've really got tomake sure that we don't forget
the human side of things,Because if we do, then here's

(21:34):
the thing.
They just put out a new AI Ibelieve it was Google that is
better with emotions, so it'smore empathic than it used to be
.
But who's training that AI?
It's not you, it's not me, butif we don't get in the game,
then our perspectives, ourunderstandings, our ability to

(21:54):
you know reason, our ability tothink critically and to use EQ
won't be in there, and that'simportant right, Especially as
women, but as people in general.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Absolutely, absolutely.
So, yeah, I think that's theanswer I was actually looking
for.
You know, like, I mean, I meanit's it, but it's true, right,
like, get to know it, right, andbut don't forget who you are,
yeah, and learn and learn, youknow, to strengthen your, your
qualities, so that you canhandle whatever is going to be
coming, because I mean this isnot going away, right, you need
to strengthen your, yourqualities, so that you can
handle whatever is going to becoming, because I mean this is

(22:26):
not going away.
Right, you need to embrace thisand so, if we can make it more
on the positive side for us,it's going to be better for us,
right, all right.
So let's get back to you.
Uh, your love, your love forthe arts and fashion, travel and
movement is, you know, it'sclear in your conversation.
How do these passions influenceyour work with clients and the

(22:50):
lifestyle design framework thatyou develop?

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Sure, so I think a lot of the areas that I
mentioned so there's thosemulti-passionate areas that I
mentioned are a good startingpoint for some of the things
that we need in life, right?
So movement goes back to thehealth piece, and if I'm talking
about movement, I'm going totalk to you about what you're
doing to prepare.
You know, if you have some sortof training plan in place, you

(23:17):
know how much you work out,right, like those kinds of
things come into play.
And so then I might alsomention a nutritionist, like if
you've ever worked with one,have you talked to your doctor
about it?
So my personal experiences tendto cover the gamut of, you know
, maybe it's my background inresearch in college, but doing a
little bit of research to makesure that it's more of an

(23:37):
approach that isn't, you know,one dimensional, right?
So it touches as many areas aswe can to make sure that it's
really an infrastructure ofsupport for you, right?
So it touches as many areas aswe can to make sure that it's
really an infrastructure ofsupport for you, right?
So let's take fashion, forexample.
So maybe we hire my friendLeigh, right, our friend Leigh
to help us with styling.
Fantastic, maybe on your own.
You're going and you're workingthe plan that AI has suggested

(24:01):
and that we've talked through.
That can help you to be able todecide what your summer capsule
wardrobe will look like, right,or maybe even what your
vacation wardrobe will look likefor this year, and so a lot of
what we would talk about arethings that I have delved into
right, and so you know I'll doone more example.
Talk about the arts, right, sofor me and I love you know

(24:25):
getting the chance to chat withpeople.
Talk about the arts, right.
So for me and I love you know,getting the chance to chat with
people about this.
What has been my experiencewith exploring museums,
galleries and just the artindustry in general, outside of
visiting a museum and saying Ilike that artwork?
Well, I've had lots of exposureand I continue to make sure
that I find opportunities andthat's a key word right, the
opportunities piece for accessand to learn as much as possible

(24:47):
, because it's a never endingstory of learning and if you're
gonna change the narrative andtherefore subsequently change
your life, you've gotta makesure that you've got a plan,
that you're working and that itmakes good sense, based on what
is known to work and then whatyou feel works for you, yeah, I
love that, I love that and Ilove you know, like I mean, it

(25:08):
doesn't matter what we'retalking about, right, when you
have an interest in anything,you always have the opportunity
to learn more, right.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
And then, if you take on that opportunity, right, it
could.
I mean, let's face it, when youwant to learn something new, it
can take up an entire daybecause you get so deep in, oh
is so interesting, or this, youknow, oh, my god, I want to know
more, right.
But it also goes the other way,right, like you might think.
That you're, you know, you wantto learn how to play tennis and

(25:40):
you get on the court the firsttime and you're like, seriously,
I signed up for six weeks tolearn this right, it, it can,
can happen, right, I mean we'veall been there.
Right, we've all been there, butI and I taught this to my kids
and I would.
You know, I encourage othersthat I meet.
When you start something, youneed to bring it to you know, if

(26:00):
you buy a six weeks package oflearning this, learn it.
Do the six weeks.
Don't walk away Because youmight not love the game or love
the.
You know whatever it is you'relearning at the end of the six
weeks.
Don't walk away because youmight not love the game or love
the.
You know whatever it is you'relearning at the end of the six
weeks, but you're going to learnsomething about yourself.
Yes, right, yes, yes, agreed,agreed, yeah, and so I'm sure
that's a lot of what you, youknow.

(26:21):
Talk with your clients about aswell, because that's part of
growing, that's part of becomingwho you want to be, right, yeah
?
okay, I learned I didn't likethe game right, I learned I
don't like tennis, but I didlearn that you know I can
actually move my body right.
Yeah, or the conversation I'mhaving with the player on the
other side of the net.
You know he's that kind ofperson, or you know she's.

(26:43):
You know we ended up beingreally good friends, like
there's always some kind ofpositive to get out of whatever
experience you're going through.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Yeah, absolutely yeah , yeah, and you know it's funny.
I'm thinking about, as you'retalking to, you know, not just
sports, but eitherprofessionally, right.
So we think about digitaltransformations, which is the
type of work that I, you know,I'm involved with, and with that
a lot of times.
One of the main goals is tomake sure that people know, feel

(27:13):
and understand, from start tofinish, the project, that this
change, whatever it is, whetherit's a process or a new system
that they're going to have towork with, there's no, there's
no voting on this, right.
This change is happening forthem and not to them, and I
think that that is a completemindset shift for a lot of

(27:33):
people.
It's a paradigm shift, right,like all right.
Well, this is happening to me.
My mom's making me take I don'tknow violin, piano, right.
But it's not something that'shappening to you.
It's happening for you, becausenot everyone gets that
opportunity to learn, to grow,to build self-awareness and to
just become more of who theywere made to be, because maybe

(27:53):
you hate it at first, but, youknow, maybe at the end of the
day you come back to it and nowyou're a piano, you know, genius
, right?
So?
So everybody wants to hear youplay, you know your family, your
friends.
And then, the next thing youknow, you're performing at a
concert.
Who knows?

Speaker 2 (28:09):
the possibilities are endless you know, right, that
is so true.
And it's funny because, as yousaid that, I'm like yeah, I had
to take the accordion.
I had to learn how to play thepiano, right, I kept asking my
mom and dad please, please,please.
And then finally my dad's likelisten, listen, I'm tired of you
ends of asking this question.

(28:29):
I have an accordion sitting inthe basement.
You want to learn how to playan instrument?
Learn how to play that?
I was like, I was 13.
Right, I'm like, seriously, Idon't want to play the accordion
.
I'm a woman, I've got bodyparts that are going to be in
the way, right.
And I was like.
But at the same time, I waslike, if this is the only way

(28:53):
I'm going to learn how to play akeyboard, then that's what I'm
going to do.
And so I did take lessons for ayear.
My mom has to drive me everySaturday morning, you know, out
of town for 45 minutes.
But we I did it at the end ofthe year was like I'm done,
right, I didn't.
I didn't really enjoy playingthe instrument, right, but I'll

(29:14):
tell you when I hear them likemusic, like accordion music, I
love it more and more every day,right?
I don't know what it iswonderful, it's a beautiful
instrument, right, and so I evenhave a playlist on my phone
that's accordion, right, and Iknow I mean I'm, you know I can,

(29:50):
I probably am, you know, mykids make fun of me all the time
because I have this playlist,but I truly love it and it's,
you know, I didn't enjoy playingthe machine, the instrument,
call it a machine, but I didn'tenjoy playing it Right.
And even, and even now, like Icannot believe that I actually
played the instrument but I lovethe music and so I learned that
even more.
I mean, it doesn't help that mydad is really into the music as
well and you know that startedthe love for the music.
But you know, it's funny thatyou say that right, like, yeah,
there's opportunity, there'salways opportunity to see the
positive side, no matter whatwe're playing and learning.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yeah, I agree, and you know I love that.
You shared that story.
That's.
That's such a cool story.
I don't know anyone else whoplays the accordion, but now I
know one that I love.
That it was.
It was legacy being built whenhe, when you asked for something
, when you were expressing adesire for building a life that
you wanted at the tender age of13, your dad said, well, here's

(30:33):
an opportunity, and you took itand you stuck with that and now,
years later, you enjoy themusic and it's a legacy that was
being built.
And I don't think we alwaysthink about when we're designing
a life that we love and adore.
What kind of legacy are webuilding, whether's for our
children, for the nextgeneration or just for the world
at large?
And I think that you have donethat, you have planted that and
you've planted something in menow, right, and so now I can say

(30:55):
you know, actually I do knowsomeone who played the accordion
and he loves and enjoys it,which is so cool because I did
it before right, right, I know,like who even talks about an
accordion?

Speaker 2 (31:08):
you do, and I love it .
Like who talks?
And now, like my dad, I mean,he's, you know, in his late 70s
and he's buying and sellingaccordions as a hobby on
marketplace facebook.
I'm like dude, like who who'sselling accordions?
Right, like what world are weliving in now?
Right, but it's, it's a market.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
I love that.
Yeah, it's also a legacy, rightit's a legacy absolutely and
you've got to preserve it, youhave to be intentional about it,
and he's building a life, orcontinuing, I should say, to
build a life and legacy based on, uh his love for the instrument
and the music.
So that's incredible.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
I love that and, like you, said, like it grows right,
like you have this love, andthe more involved you get, the
more you love it right when youlearn to hate it.
I mean, I've seen that happentoo, but luckily, you know, when
it comes to music that's nothappening.
So yeah that's all part ofdesigning the life that you want
, right?
I mean, there's there's so manylike little things and I think

(32:08):
I honestly believe that it'smore the little things that make
you love your life more thanthe big things.
Yes, I want a big house, andI'm.
It might make my life feel morecomplete, but it's the little
things that you put inside thehouse to make it feel like home,
right, your sanctuary yeah,like you know, like it's not the

(32:31):
house itself, it's what happensinside the house, right, and
I'm sure you can relate.
I remember when we sold ourfirst house, like we bought it
when we were married, and 16years later, three kids later
and all the 16 years of life, itwas really hard to walk away,
oh of course, absolutely.
You know, my husband and Istanding in front of the house

(32:52):
as we had all of our stuff inour trucks and you know, and I'm
like, I'm crying and I'mthinking we're moving on to
something bigger, and yet herewe are.
I'm so attached to that houseand to this day, that is my home
right.
I've lived in this house almostas long and it's just not the
same, right?

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Yeah, you know, I love that yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, I mean that's you know, that's part of life.
I get that Like I.
I can detach myself from that,but that house felt like home to
me Right.
And now of course, and I, we'reall different, we're all.
You know.
Some people, their housedoesn't matter as much, it's
just a you know a roof overtheir head, right, and so I
always thought I was that personuntil I walked away from that

(33:37):
house right, I didn't realizehow much I loved it until I had
I left it right and I and I feellike there's that's part of our
lifestyle, right?
We don't realize what isimportant to us until we have to
give it up and walk away fromit or it's taken from us, Right

(33:57):
oh?

Speaker 3 (33:58):
that's a really good one, too.
Good point, yeah, you know, Ithink that one of the things
that you are hitting on withoutactually saying is the way that
you respond to change, and sothere's an emotional response,
there's a mental response.
Sometimes there's a spiritualresponse because you know if it
is taken from you, right.
So if you become housinginsecure, that's a deeply
spiritual and emotionalexperience, right, because we're

(34:22):
meant and, you know, accustomedto, I would say, evolved right
to live in homes, to live inside, right, and so we have a huge
on I guess what do you call it ahousing insecure population
that's growing in this countryand it's unfathomable sometimes
to imagine a life where youdon't have a home.

(34:44):
But I think it's also about howyou respond to change, right.
So you had a mental andemotional and there's probably
some cognitive dissonance goingback to that psych piece, right?
So you're like this is going tobe fantastic, but I love my
home, this is my home, but I'mgoing to have a new home, but
you know what this is, where,you know, I built my family.
You know my husband and I movedhere.

(35:06):
We chose this home together.
It's a foundation, and I thinkthat when you're thinking about
lifestyle design.
It's about the foundation,taking from that and continuing
to build up and out, to build amore expansive life where you
can continue to thrive.
But again back to the legacypoint.
Not forget your point, notforget where you came from.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
So, right, right, that's true.
Like that, I think, as you said, you know how you handle change
, or however you worded that.
I'm like shit, that's exactlywhat it was.
Right, I didn't because I mean,let's face it, change can be
scary, right, yeah, we can.
We can attempt change with anopen heart and open mind, but

(35:45):
you still don't know what it'sgoing to look like, right, and
so I guess that's.
I never even thought about that, but I guess that's what it
came down to, right.
But look at that, using you'reusing your psychology skills on
me for the better.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
I have right, just a little bit more self-awareness,
but you got there, right, yeahoh, I love it.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
I Okay.
So now we talked about likegently becoming all you are
meant to be earlier.
So tell me, like what, whatdoes gentle growth really look
like to you, and why is likegentleness so important in
today's like?
Like our culture is veryhustled and very, you know, busy

(36:26):
.
I like, like you know, I saybusy in quotations because we
don't have to be busy, we makeourselves busy.
So I want you to tell me alittle bit about this gentleness
.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
Yeah, I think I'll start with, you know, the last
thing you said about makingourselves busy, because that
really resonates with me.
I make myself busy.
If I don't have a project atwork, I make up projects.
Even when I have work, I makeup projects at work, and if I
have enough at work, I make upprojects on the side.
Right?
It's always moving me forward,some sort of momentum towards

(37:01):
becoming the person that I canbe right or that I see myself as
being, and so I think that whenit goes back to gently becoming
here's the thing I need to makesure that I have people around
me or at least I do it formyself.
You know some self-talk whereI'm making sure that I stay

(37:21):
grounded if I can, and if I'mnot doing that well, taking a
step back and adjustingboundaries, adjusting timelines
if I can doing whatever it isthat I need to do to make sure
that I can softly exist.
That's not always possible,because I try to live a full
life, but you know, for example,on Sundays, a lot of times I

(37:42):
can be like yep, let's plancoffee, let's plan brunch, let's
go to the museum, perfect day.
Ok, let's go to the park.
Also, I could use a walk, likeI could do all these things.
But one of the things that ourfriend actually one of the
things you know when we werebuilding up this step in a shop
for this fantastic boutique, shewas like Sundays are a no-go.
And I've had many friends whosaid that too, and I'm like,

(38:03):
okay, I will calm down, Right,but it's not about like being
harsh or critical.
It's more of like, yes, you canaccept that, you know that's a
boundary for them, but this alsocan be a boundary for you,
right, that you take the time torest.
And it's not you being lazy,even though you have tons of
things that you can and orshould be doing but it's you
really taking time to connectwith yourself.

(38:25):
And so one of those things thatI've learned over the last
couple of years and it came atthe most- random moment was
realizing that breathwork is apowerful tool, right?
So I I don't know if you love itas much as I do.
I'd love to hear more aboutyour experience with the
practice, but for me, it'sslowly becoming a practice.

(38:46):
I don't do it every day, Idon't do it when I know I need
to do it, right, but at the backof my mind, it's one of the
tools that I have in my toolboxto design a life that I love.
That is really helpful.
It forces me, even for a moment, a minute or two, to step away
from the present, to focus intomy breathing.
My body loves it, I feel greatand I perform better.

(39:07):
And I breathing, my body lovesit.
I feel, I feel great and Iperform better, and I just my
body loves it.
I know it, right, and so I thinkwith that, it's like all right,
you can be in the midst ofhustle and bustle, because
that's what society is andthat's a lot of where our value
and our worth is placed, becauseif we're not busy, we tend to
be devalued.
Right.

(39:28):
If we're not in a high poweredposition by a certain time in
our life, we tend to be devalued, right?
People don't always say what'swrong with you, but and loved
for yourself and by other peopleright, right In the midst of

(39:52):
the hustle and bustle.
So that's what I think, that'svery true.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
And to the, you know the to comment on your breast
work.
Our bodies need it, right Likethey're now, apparently, and I
don't.
I've.
I've heard two women tell methat their medical doctor is
actually giving them advice ontaking time to sit and just

(40:15):
breathe.
Love it.
When you're feeling anxious andnervous and like you don't know
what to do with yourself, justtake two minutes, just sit down
for two minutes and just breatheand close your eyes and really
just focus on the in and the out.
There doesn't have to be fancybreath.
It doesn't have to be, you know, staggered or anything.

(40:37):
Just pay attention to it.
You know, set a timer on yourphone.
We all have these phones besideus all day, every day.
Right, set a timer.
All I'm going to do is listento myself breathe and it's
amazing what it can do to yourbody right mentally physically,
emotionally, like it just calmseverything just down to where it

(40:58):
needs to be.
At the end of the two minutes,believe me, you will feel rested
.
If nothing else, right, youwill feel rested and you'll.
And when?
When you're rested, you knowthis.
Right, your brain is more opento anything that can happen.
Right, because I'm rested andI'm ready to take on what's next
, right, so, yeah, I don't, Idon't have like a regular

(41:22):
practice.
I am learning, you know, tomake it a regular practice.
It's hard.
I do find it very hard.
To me, it's very similar tomeditation.
Right, because I'm sitting herefocusing on my breath and all
of a sudden, the thoughts arecoming in.
Right, but, you need to go dothis and you should be doing
that, and you don't have twominutes right now, right?

(41:42):
The reality is it's only twominutes.
I have two minutes, right.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
If.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I'm going to go to the op.
I have two minutes to do that,right, and so you know, like you
, you have time.
It's just a matter of takingthe time.
So I love that you said thatand you know, I think breath
work is something that we shouldall have in a regular practice,
right?
Even if it is just two minutesa day, just regroup.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
You know just a couple of noteson that, you know.
So, breath work.
So I will say that the roots ofbreath work as a practice
aren't necessarily somethingthat I fully understand and am
in tune with right.
So for me, in terms of faith,but as a human, my vagus nerve,

(42:30):
my body, responds to it verywell, and so building a life
that I love isn't always goingto be based on the terms and the
rules and the expectations ofsociety, and I think that you
have to come to terms with that,because it can happen at a
moment's notice that your lifechanges, and if you don't have
something in your toolbox thatworks well, then what are you

(42:51):
going to do?
Right?
Like, what are you going to doif you're on vacation and you're
like, oh my gosh, you know I'vemissed my connecting flight,
right?
Or I've, I don't know where I'mgoing, or I don't speak the
language and I don't know theword for this, but I need to get
on that train, right?

(43:15):
This happened to me in Italy.
I should have learned moreItalian, but I mean, you know,
in that moment, what tools did Ihave at myself?
And I think that's the thingyou have what it takes.
You have what you need, but youneed to recognize the tools
that you do have within you, andso it could look like taking a
breath, understanding that youknow what.
I may not understand Italian,but I understand a little bit of
the romance languages, so letme kind of, you know, do a
little bit pointing, but alsolisten to what she's saying.
Right, and so I made it on thetrain, thankfully.

(43:37):
But I think that's also, youknow, when you travel, you get
the chance to really step away.
You're forced to at some pointto just relax and be with
yourself, you know.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Well, yeah, like you can't, even especially when
you're traveling, you don'talways want to be on high
anxious mode, right, like, howare you going to enjoy what's
happening around you when you'retraveling?
Especially when you'retraveling, you know, as a
holiday, you want to enjoy whatyou're seeing, right, and so you
know, and I think a lot of thatyou know, sitting back and
taking those few deep breaths.

(44:12):
It also asks your intuition, itinvites your intuition, yeah,
right, and so your intuitionknows everything that you need
to know.
Right, tina, you're taking usto church.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
Well, I, don't know about that.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
But you know, like, if you're, if you, if you missed
a train, right, and you're in aforeign country and you don't
speak the language you're like,right away, your conscious mind
is going what the hell am Igoing to do now?
Whereas if you sit down andokay, I'm going to get a coffee
and I'm going to sit down for aminute, right, and you allow
yourself to just sort of, youknow like, accept what just

(44:49):
happened to you, right, you'regoing to get that message right,
your intuition, your body, isgoing to tell you now you need
to do this.
You just have to allow it.
And you said something aboutnot doing or living the best
life that society wants for you,or what the rest of society is

(45:13):
living.
You or what like the rest ofsociety is living, I mean, I.
The first thing that came to meis God has made every single one
of us on this earth differentand unique, right, and so what
is your best life is most likelynot my best life, right, and so
when I am doing any kind ofresearch and education to make

(45:34):
my life better, right, it's onlygoing to be for me, yeah, right
, it's not about what you know,like, you're my coach, you're
going to walk me through thesteps that I need to go through,
but you're not going to saythis is what you need because
you don't know that, right.
You only know these are youroptions, right, which one fits

(45:55):
you best?

Speaker 3 (45:56):
Right, and if they don't, let's find a new path.
Let's find a new way that doeswork, that resonates for you and
the life that you want, becauseyou know I have my starting
points right.
So I know that creativity ispowerful, I know that the arts
are powerful for healing and forunlocking a lot of productivity
, but maybe that's not where youneed to focus, right.

(46:20):
Maybe the focus is career, forexample, or maybe it's family,
right?
Maybe it's parenting, whateverit is, it really does have to be
about you, because, at the endof the day, you're totally right
, we've all been designeduniquely to be a specific person
, right, and to have an impactin the world, and so, out of our

(46:41):
design, we act, we makedecisions, but if we're not in
tune and alignment with who wewere designed to be in the first
place, we're never going to getthere.
We're never going to get thefulfillment that we are looking
for, even in bits and pieces, ifyou will, right, and so I feel
like you know there's fantastic.
There's a scripture that I lovethat talks about the fact that

(47:04):
God sings over you and rejoicesover you, right, and I think for
a lot of people that can behard to fathom or imagine, but
part of the infrastructure thatyou need for support is
community and people.
So who are those people that,when they see you, their eyes
light up?
The people who are bringing theglimmers of hope that encourage

(47:25):
you, right?
Who are like that's amazingthat you're doing that.
I'm so excited.
How can I help you, right?
Who are the people who are justlike I, don't like you.
You want to hang out right Like.
Who are those people in yourlife, whether you've known them
for 20 years or even known themfor 20 seconds, who really just
give you life and speak lifeover you?

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
I think that that's so important, no matter where
you're going in this life and nomatter who you're designed to
be.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
I love that, I love that and, yeah, I think we all
have that.
Right, we might not realize it,you know, depending on where we
are in our emotions, but youknow, we all have those people
that you know are lit up whenyou walk into a room.
Right, you made me think of myson.
So my son is like my youngestson.
He's I don't know how to explainit he's lovable, right, there's

(48:15):
just something he's super quiet, never says a whole lot, but
there's just something about him.
He's like a magnet to peopleand when he was, he used to play
hockey, when he was, you know,up until he was 12, and he would
walk into the dressing room andevery single boy in that room
would call out his name andhappy to see him.

(48:37):
Like coward, because he wouldfeel kind of shy, but I should
be so like honored, right,because these kids love you and
you don't even talk, right,you're a wonderful human.
Right, like, yeah, it'sfantastic.
It made me that, you made methink of that because and he
used to like, oh, mom, you knowhe's there embarrassing me and

(48:57):
I'm like why they?

Speaker 3 (48:59):
love you so much.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
They just love you, right, yeah anyway, anyway I
feel like I've had it so muchtoday.
So I, you're totally intofashion, yes, and I love that.
I mean, you know, uh, whatbrands are you looking forward
to wearing or purchasing piecesfrom that make you feel that
you're living your best dayevery single time?

Speaker 3 (49:25):
I am so glad you asked uh, because I have got a
list and you know it's funny, Isome of these brands are
recently discovered and some ofthese I've known for a while,
but I think, at the end of theday, these are brands that I've
tried on and also when I haveexperiences with these brands,
they're memorable, right.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
And, and you know, Matt Gallant.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
This this year, with, with dandyism being the theme,
really just taught me, remindedme, I should say, about the
power of good tailoring, and Ithink that these brands you know
based on you know their goalsand you know their design, have
good tailoring too.
So I'll just run down my listand maybe give a little spiel
about each, because I love themall, but never fully dressed.

(50:09):
So we did this different shopexperience.
It was a private shoppingexperience that was lovely.
It never fully dressed here.
So we did this different shopexperience.
It was a private shoppingexperience that was lovely.
It never fully dressed here inthe city.
Beautiful brand started by thiswoman out of the UK, I believe.
When you walk into that thatboutique there is, just it feels
like sunshine, it feels likejoy, and with every single piece

(50:31):
I just can't, I can't helpmyself.
I'm like ooh, oh, my gosh, Ijust get so excited.
I'm an excited person anyway,but I just love every single
piece, and so I have one piecethat I still need to wear.
I need a great opportunity towear that, but looking forward
to purchasing more from that.
It's also inspired by theowner's travels and I love

(50:52):
travel, and so that's anotherpiece for me Long View Layers.
The owner's travels and I lovetravel, and so that's another
piece for me Longview layers.
So I'm part of the juniorleague here in the city and this
is a brand that has it's aboutto be launched.
Just went to a pre-launch partyon Saturday for this friend and
when I put on the dress thatshe designed, when I say that I

(51:15):
felt like a queen, I felt likeit to the point that I literally
had to say it out loud oh, wow,yes.
And so, yeah, I'll definitelyshare those details, but it is
just, it's a beautiful brand andI'm looking forward to seeing
what she does with that brand.
So that's my other one.
And then Ralph Lauren.
It's classic, it's classic andit's an elevated look, but it's

(51:40):
also just very clean lines andit just it feels good, whether
I'm in their cafe, because I'm acoffee addict, or their stores,
right, I just I love it and Igravitate towards it and I'll
just, you know, go through thenext two really quickly.
But Balmain, I'm just reallyhaving a Balmain and actually

(52:02):
it's the lean moment right now.
And then the last one, butcertainly not least, is Sergio
Hudson, and so I don't have oneof his pieces yet, but he trusts
18 people at MetGallup, bothmen and women.
One of them was the CEO of anAI company, and it brings me
back to my Nigerian Americanroots and heritage Because he

(52:26):
had the beads, he had the wholeattire.
It was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
But even you know, quintero wasin designs that were, I mean,
18 people at the Mac Gallery.
It's incredible.
Each design unique andbeautiful, right.
And so those are just a few ofthe designers that I love, but
looking forward to, hopefullythis year, purchasing some

(52:47):
pieces from them.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
I love it.
I love it.
So I mean clearly you love todress well right, and I mean
clearly you love to dress wellright.
And I mean I like to think mostpeople do right.
Some people maybe don'tunderstand.
You know how to put piecestogether.
I get that right.
I mean, as a stylist, I've metmany women who you know they
don't really know how to putclothes together.

(53:10):
I'd like to know, maybe, whatyour understanding is, you know,
or the psychology of what isbehind really dressing well, and
what does dressing well meanspecifically to you?

Speaker 3 (53:23):
Sure, so I'll start with the N in mine.
Dressing well means that when Ilook in the mirror, what I'm
wearing feels good.
I like the colors, I like thefit, I like the style and I feel
like it's an expression of me,right?
So it doesn't have to berepresentative of my whole
identity, but in that moment, inthat season of my life,

(53:45):
represents who I am.
So if I am feeling like youknow what, this summer I want to
live life more colorfully,right, taking for fate's sake,
but then you're going to see alot of color, a lot of
brightfully right.
Taking for a bit spade, butthen you're going to see a lot
of color, a lot of bright blues,right.
So, like today, I'm wearing abright blue, for example.
I think it's embodying how Ifeel inside, right, and so when

(54:05):
you think about people talkingabout when you look good, you
feel good.
It's so true.
If I go to a client meeting,even if it's virtually, and I'm
wearing a sweatshirt, I do notfeel good, I do not feel
powerful, and it's and it's partof that power, power stance,
almost right you feel morepowerful when you are more put

(54:26):
together, and I'm sure youprobably see it in your clients
too.
You know, they put on thesepieces that you have helped them
to select, and they've pulledthe look together, and suddenly
it's a confidence boost, rightand internally.
You know, mentally, you justkind of know also that you know
when I walk out the door, peopleare going to treat me better,

(54:46):
unfortunately, becauseperception isn't always reality,
but the perception is that I'vegot it together just a little
bit more right.
The perception is I have someownership and control of the way
that I look and I'm killing ittoday, right, and so it's really
about that mental, thatcognitive piece.
But there's also that emotionalpiece, as well as the

(55:07):
psychology of color, which wedon't really have time to go
into today.
But you know, you think aboutsome of the powerful colors,
like red.
Right, I've seen beautiful redblazers.
I do not own one, but when youwalk into a room with a red
dress, I mean you don't have totell me, right.
You tell me, though, how do youfeel?

Speaker 2 (55:27):
well I don't wear red , I don't like red, but I'll
tell you every, every woman thatwalks into a room wearing a red
dress gets a second look.
Yes, every single woman.
I don't care what anybody tellsme.
Right, might not be you givingthe second look, but someone is
giving her a second look.
Yeah, there is something aboutthe color red and it does mean

(55:48):
like it's.
It's the color of confidence,right and so right, when a woman
wears red, there is somethingto be said about how she feels.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Absolutely yeah yeah, absolutely right, right on the
money.
Yeah, um, but yeah, I thinkthat you know, at the end of the
day you're thinking about howyou're being perceived.
And well, people say a lot oftimes you know people's opinions
don't matter.
Actually they do.
It's unfortunate, but they do,right you know, of course you

(56:18):
need, you know, the right peoplespeaking into your life and
saying, hey, you look fantasticand I love you, no matter what
you're wearing.
But at the end of the day, youknow, within community, within
society, it absolutely matters.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
Well, and you know, that brings me to the pretty
woman movie with julia roberts.
Remember, when she walks intothat room she's got the credit
card, but she doesn't look likeshe holds and so they're talking
down to her, and then she comesback and says you know, look at
me now.
You know part of that.
It's unfortunate, you know,because you don't know what the

(56:52):
credit card any person isholding.
You have no idea, right, but itgoes to show like the way we
dress ourselves, the way we holdourselves, has a lot to say
about who we are.
Yeah, because I mean it can bethe other way.
Someone can walk into a storelooking like she, you know,

(57:12):
she's dressed to the nines andshe owns the credit card that
gives her she could buy theentire wardrobe from your store,
but the reality is that doesn'tmean she does have the money,
right, like it goes the otherway as well, right, I mean I've
been in stores where women looklike they have a lot of money
and their card gets declined,right, and they're like well, I

(57:34):
guess I'm not buying anythingtoday, right?
So you know, like we've allseen it, right, and so it really
goes to show like how you dressyourself tells how you feel
inside.
It has nothing to do with howmuch you own or what you owe.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Yeah, and can I just say that too?
I think that there's somethingto be said about looking for the
pieces that fit you the best,right, and it's addictive and
it's because it makes you feelgood, and sometimes there's a
little bit too much emphasis onyour value and worth, depending
on the brand.
But when it is made well, itdoesn't just last longer, it

(58:14):
looks better on you, right?

Speaker 2 (58:15):
When it's tailored and you want to wear it more
yeah, yes, absolutely.
Absolutely so.
I did a presentation last weekon you know how to dress your
body and you know we all aim forthat hourglass look right,
whether we know what that'scalled or not.
So, like the Marilyn Monroe,right, and so, like I was born

(58:38):
with an hourglass shape, right,I have the smaller waist and my
hips and my, my shoulders arethe same.
Um, but as I've grown right andI mean that physically and
figuratively right, you know, Ihit the perimenopause and I've
lost, i've've lost a bit of mywaist right, it's not completely
gone, but I've become more of abarrel.
And and I noticed that when Inow in my age, where I'm at now,

(59:03):
I don't want to wear tightclothes.
But growing up and into my well,into my forties, I felt, you
know, because I was so used tolike showing off my waist, I'll
say, and I really wasn't showingoff my waist, but that's what
fit me best was, you know,having clothes that were tight,
tighter and more fitted aroundmy waist.
Because, you know, nobody likeswearing pants that are too big

(59:26):
around their waist and they'refalling down.
Nobody likes that.
That's not a comfortablefeeling, but I was.
You know, I had a conversationwith one that was one of the
ladies at the presentation and Iwas saying, even as a bigger
woman and girl right, I've beenbig all my life I felt more
comfortable in clothes that fitme Right, clothes that were more
fitted, you know.

(59:46):
And yet I mean, I know that lotsof women who are bigger, you
know, they want to hide theircurves, they want to, like you
know, know, look more, more of asolid look so they don't show
off any part of their body.
But it's not about showing off.
For me, it was about comfort.
Right, I wore clothes that mademe feel comfortable.
You know, I was fortunate tohave the hourglass and so they,

(01:00:09):
they did look really good on memost of the time.
But the reality is you have tobe comfortable, right?
You?
You still have to wear clothesthat make you feel like a
million bucks right.
So, it's not just about I meanyes, it's about looking good,
but you have to feel just asgood as you look.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
Yeah, absolutely.
It has to evolve over time too.
To that point, 100% agree, I'veseen my style evolve to a
certain extent, but I also, Ijust, I just love to dress Right
, and so I walked by a millionwindows a day here in the city,
and you know it may not be theexact same style that I could
take a look at.

(01:00:48):
I could walk by Lily Blitzer,for example, or a J crew, or you
know one of the stores in Sohothat are not well known, or
another boutique like NFD, andyou know, in each of them I can
find a piece that I like or loveright.
And at the end of the day, whenI put it on, though, right,
it's going to be aself-expression of who I am and

(01:01:09):
how comfortable I feel, becausewhat fits me at Lily may not fit
me at you know, jcrew, in thesame size or the same style.
But you know, I think that oneof the most important things is
being able to just be adaptableRight, because that change in
your style and sometimes size,it's going to come Right, it's
going to come Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
And I always you know , I tell clients too you don't
have to wear the same clothesall the time, you don't have to
stick to the same style, right,if you like boho, but not
everything, you know you canhave a boho day once in a while.
Right, it's okay, you don'thave to always stick to the same
style.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
So we are okay, so I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
I don't want to rush this conversation.
I feel like we could talk foranother hour or two, right,
probably.
Yeah, I'm gonna ask you onemore question.
Yeah, sure, someone listeningtoday is ready to rewrite their
story and begin creating, youknow, a life that they truly
love.
What is one micro step thatthey can take today to start

(01:02:07):
that?

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
journey?
That's a fantastic question.
I'm going to give you a funanswer.
First reach out to me.
Question.
I'm going to give you a funanswer.
First Reach out to me.
My second thing I would say isyou know, plug it into AI,
because I'm all about everyoneyou know leveling up in their
digital skills and justupskilling.
But then, number three, I thinkit's just to start to sit down

(01:02:30):
and journal, because you canhave answers you shout out from
ai in seconds, but journal aboutthe life that you want.
Do mood boards if you need to.
Uh, do you know vision boardsif you need to, at any time of
the year, but really just beginto dream and imagine more and
and get yourself in spaces thathelp you to do that I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Thank you so much for joining me today, valerie.
This has been awesome.
I know that I, you know wetalked about a lot of things,
even though that's all part ofyou know lifestyle that you love
, right?
So if anyone wants to reach outto you, what is the best way?

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
Sure, so I think that you can probably just do email,
but I'm also available, prettyaccessible, via my IG account as
well for House of Chloe Bloom,and so I think the process
really just starts from there,just reaching out, and then we
can follow up and start workingtogether.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
Awesome, awesome.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Fantastic.
Thank you, tina.
This has been a funconversation and I look forward
to chatting with you more, uh,at some point in the future as
well absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Confidence in bloom is a celebration of self-love, a
confirmation that, even thoughyou may not look like a screen
star or a supermodel they don'teven look like that you are are
an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman.
We offer unconditional love toour partners, our children, our
extended family, even our pets.
It's high time we got out ofour own way and learned to

(01:04:04):
unconditionally love ourselvesIn full bloom.
Styling and coaching offers anonline program combined with
one-on-one coaching inconfidence building, personal
branding and creating yoursignature fashion look.
Chic definitely does come inevery shape.
So if you want something tobelieve, in start with yourself.
If you'd like to be a guesthere on Confidence in Bloom,

(01:04:26):
contact me through Instagram atinfobloomstyling, by email tina
at infobloomstylingcom, orthrough the Divas that Care
website.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
Thanks for listening.
This show was brought to you byDivas that Care.
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