October 7, 2025 • 38 mins
Come and listen to our Host, Tina Spoletini, as she chats with today's guest, Sabrina Victoria, for our "Season of Shift: Women on the Edge of Reinvention" Podcast Series.
This series spotlights women who used this reflective season (Oct–Dec) to make major life pivots—career changes, endings, spiritual awakenings, and brave beginnings.
Once a single mom trapped in a 13-year narcissistic relationship, Sabrina Victoria rose with resilience and purpose. Now the creator and CEO of Her Nation Global and host of Her Talk Show, she’s on a mission to help others rise too—equipping women with tools to lead, heal, and thrive unapologetically in life and business.
Website: www.hernationalglogal.com
Instagram: sabrinavictoriatv
TikTok: sabrinavictoriatv
YouTube: @hertalkshow
Facebook: Sabrina Victoria
LinkedIn: Sabrina Victoria
Some stories knock the wind out of you before they hand you your voice back. Our guest, Sabrina Victoria, went from a 13-year narcissistic relationship—mired in mental, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse—to building Her Nation Global, a media and community platform that helps women founders rise with strategy, sales, and unapologetic confidence. This conversation unpacks the turning points: a late-night Google search that named the abuse, the secret systems she built to exit safely, and the daily habits that rebuilt her identity and her business from the inside out.
We dig into the practical side of reinvention. Sabrina shares the exact plan she used—opening a covert bank account, launching online businesses, prepaying essentials—to ensure she never had to go back. She explains why tracking money monthly changed fear into facts, and how replacing music with personal development and business podcasts rewired her focus. When a broken leg during the pandemic halted her life, she transformed rehab into a sprint of learning that catapulted her online growth. It’s a masterclass in shifting from “why me” to “what now,” and it’s loaded with real steps any woman can take.
At the heart of this episode is a bold thesis: money equals choice, and choice equals power. We talk about community over isolation, the leap from victimhood to agency, and the identity work it takes to say “I know things” when the world insists you don’t. Sabrina’s vision for Her Nation Global—media visibility, masterminds, curriculum, and locations—aims at one outcome: women with the wealth, voice, and support to lead on their own terms.
If this story sparks something in you, share it with a friend who needs proof that reinvention is possible. Subscribe for more conversations that turn hard-won lessons into clear steps, and leave a review to tell us what you’ll change first.
For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
It's Divas the Care Radio.
Stories, strategies, and ideasto inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas That Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
(00:20):
To find out more about themovement, visit divas that
care.com after the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
SPEAKER_02 (00:31):
Welcome to Confidence in Bloom, where bold
women rise, shine, and own theirpower.
We all face that pesky innercritic, what I call the itty
bitty shitty committee,whispering self-sabotaging
doubts and untrue trash talkthat holds us back.
Here, we don't let that noisewin.
This is a space to celebrate thefierce, fabulous women who have
(00:54):
broken free from fear, crushedlimiting beliefs, and stepped
into their full, unstoppableselves.
Because let's be real, the mostpowerful thing any woman can
wear is her confidence.
I'm Tina Spolotini, your hostwith the DivaSat Care Network,
and I will bring you realstories from women who reclaimed
their voice, embraced theirworth, and are lighting the way
(01:16):
for all of us.
Ready to bloom into your bestself?
Let's dive in.
Today I'm chatting with SabrinaVictoria.
Once a single mom trapped in a13-year narcissistic
relationship, Sabrina Victoriarose with resilience and
purpose.
Now the creator and CEO of HerNation Global and host of her
(01:38):
talk show, she's on a mission tohelp others rise too, equipping
women with tools to lead, heal,and thrive unapologetically in
life and business.
Okay, so welcome, Sabrina.
How are you?
I'm doing so good.
Awesome, awesome.
Tell us a little bit more aboutyourself.
SPEAKER_01 (01:58):
Um well, I am a mother.
Um my son is 21 years old.
I run a company called HerNation Global, where I help uh
women entrepreneurs, womenbusiness owners um take their
life to the next level, taketheir business to the next
level.
Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (02:15):
Okay, so Her Nation, what exactly is that?
SPEAKER_01 (02:19):
Um, Her Nation Global is a community for women
business owners.
We uh have two sides of thebusiness.
So the front facing is a mediacompany called Her Media Agency.
And um we do podcasting, we runa digital magazine, we do uh big
recreation, we do um uh websiterebranding, and then the back
(02:44):
end of the business is acommunity called H Club for
women business owners.
It is masterminds, networking,business workshops, sales
workshops to really help womencreate businesses that are
thriving, businesses that aresurviving.
SPEAKER_02 (02:58):
I love that.
I love that.
And so reinvention is sort ofyour it's a little bit of your
key process, right?
I mean, women in business, umthat's a reinvention on its own,
right?
Oftentimes, not always, butoftentimes, you know, women and
I know this just from peoplethat are my age that are just
(03:18):
going into business, that is thereinvention that I'm speaking
of.
And I mean, you see it with thewomen in your world all the
time, right?
They're they're con we'reconstantly changing, right?
We're always, you know, doingthe the famous pivot, um, just
to, you know, stay up with themarket, stay up with the
industry, whatever, you know,what have you.
Um, so you are like therewitnessing and supporting women
(03:42):
through that.
Am I right?
SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, that's the whole uh thewhole point of the community is
to get them to the next leveland get them out of the mindset,
right, of being all bythemselves, being without a
community, um, going through acycle of like a hamster on
hamster wheel where they're notgetting anywhere, and also just
not knowing what to do next.
You know, a lot of times we opena business and we've gotten it
(04:06):
to as far as we can with theknowledge of which we have.
And then that's it.
We don't have any moreknowledge.
And that's a lot about life justin general, right?
Like, how do you get how do youyou can get yourself only so far
with the knowledge that youhave?
And then once you get to thatpoint, what do you do?
You either have to drop um timeon watching YouTube videos,
(04:26):
reading books, you have to getsome sort of a coach, you have
to join some sort of a communityto get you to the next level.
So, you know, most of society ingeneral lives at a very
mediocrity um level, right?
In business and health andrelationships, just very
mediocre.
And we really want to thrive,right?
We really want to thrive incertain areas of our business,
(04:47):
whether it's our health or ourrelationships or our money.
Um uh we have to, you know, wehave to educate ourselves,
educate ourselves on the thingsthat we don't know that we don't
know.
So uh that's what you know, partof my community within the realm
of a business andentrepreneurship is really
helping these women to get tothe next level.
SPEAKER_02 (05:06):
I love that.
That's like the village, right?
You know how we've always heardit takes a village to raise a
child, right?
And and our business is oftenanother child to us.
And so you're kind of thesupport, the village, right?
You're you allow the women tocome in and say, Okay, what do I
do next?
Right?
I know this part of it, butthere's gotta be more because
(05:26):
it's not going anywhere or it'snot, you know, thriving the way
I would like.
I love that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um now in your in your pastlife, you've had to make some
big changes.
You were married for 13 years.
What signs or whispers did younotice that were like, you need
you, you're you're meant formore, right?
Like this isn't what you need,this isn't what you're here for.
SPEAKER_01 (05:48):
Yeah, absolutely.
So um I was not married, I wasjust in a very long-term
relationship.
And the pivot, well, I mean,that was obvious.
He was a very abusive partner.
So um, I was dealing withmental, emotional, sexual, and
financial abuse for that uhduration of time.
And really, what happened wasprobably about eight years in,
um, I had a total epiphany.
(06:09):
I always say Google saved mylife.
I was on the floor in the feudalposition, in the dark, in the
bathroom, bawling, justscreaming and crying like death
was coming out of me, justfeeling so stuck, so unhealthy,
so much like a prisoner, like aslave in my own life, having no
way to get out, no way toescape, not understanding why I
(06:32):
was so unhappy.
And I did a Google search rightthere on the floor.
I'll never forget.
I took my phone out of mypocket, I could barely see
because like I was crying, and IGoogled, why is my boyfriend
bullying me?
Because I just did notunderstand why he was so mean to
me every single day.
Like, what is up?
I'm a good person, I'm a goodgirlfriend.
(06:53):
And the whole world ofnarcissism just hit me right in
the face.
Again, right?
Not knowing what you don't know.
See, I always thought abuse wasphysical.
I didn't know abuse was verbal.
I didn't know abuse was mental.
I didn't know abuse was sexualor even financial, like
financial abuse.
I had never even heard of thatbefore.
And, you know, when somebodykeeps all the money for
(07:15):
themselves and doesn't give youany money, you're living off of
you're living off of pennies orwhatever they throw at you.
So um when I figured this out,that was the pivot.
So it took me a few years, and II did stay with him for a dozen
plus years.
Um, but at that moment, eightyears in, is when I made a huge
change in my life, um, dove headfirst into personal development
(07:36):
and reinventing myself, right?
Stepping into this new identityof a woman who was powerful, a
woman who knew things, a womanwho um who had money.
You know, I opened up a secretbank account, I started three
online um three onlinebusinesses covertly, and I
started saving money just underthe radar, and then literally
(07:57):
one day I just ran away.
SPEAKER_02 (08:01):
My God.
So first I want to say I'm sorrythat you had to go through that.
I don't think any person, anyhuman deserves to be treated
that way.
But at the same time, I wonderwhen you look back at that
story, you know, and it's Imean, it's a short, it's really
it's a short time of your life,but it was so heavy and so I
mean traumatic for you.
(08:22):
Do you look back at that with asense of gratitude?
Um I mean, uh gratitude is maybeis a strong word, but do you
look at that and say, you know,I'm grateful that that happened
because I wouldn't be where I amtoday if it wouldn't have?
Or do you look back and say, Doyou still kind of, you know, I
mean, everybody wishes thatwouldn't happen, but you know,
(08:43):
uh when you look back at thatstory, what goes through you?
SPEAKER_01 (08:46):
Um I would do it all over again.
Yeah, I would do it all overagain as is.
I learned so much from thatstory.
The personal development, theeducation that I've given myself
since that relationship, I don'tthink I ever would have gotten
to the power, the strength, andthe mental capacity that I have
now if it wasn't for thatrelationship.
(09:08):
And and really the whole storyleading up to the relationship,
right?
Getting pregnant out of wedlock,being in a um in a very strict
religion.
Um I would do the entire thingall over again knowing the
results that I ended up with.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (09:26):
I love that.
And I I mean I don't love thatit happened, and I don't love
that you know, that this kind ofstuff is happening around us all
the time.
But I love that you can walkaway from it and and be you know
somewhat grateful for it.
Because I mean, first of all,you got a beautiful child out of
it, right?
I mean, that's you know, usuallywhen you know women are like
(09:47):
that's the first thing that Idon't regret.
But right, you where you standtoday wouldn't would be totally
different if you wouldn't havegone through what you went
through.
SPEAKER_01 (09:57):
Yeah, right.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think more I wish morepeople would understand that.
And I know that that yourlisteners here with uh with your
podcast are very much on thatjourney of like trying to figure
that out, trying to realize whatis the reframe, why did this
happen?
What can I get from this?
And I think that's one of thethings that I know you what what
(10:19):
I wish, and I'm certain you wishfor individuals, because we
can't help, we can't stop theinevitable, right?
There are things in our lifethat are just gonna freaking
happen.
You know, I broke my leg inOctober of 2020, right in the
middle of the freaking pandemic,literally snapped my leg in
half.
Like I could have stayed in thein the um lull of like
victimhood for so long withthat.
(10:40):
Like I've never broken a I'venever broken anything before.
That in itself was torturous.
And we're in the middle offreaking COVID.
I have no money coming in.
Now all of a sudden medicalbills up the wazoo because my
insurance only covered so much.
It's like the there's so muchnegative that could have
happened.
And because of the mindset,because of the shifts that I've
(11:01):
had in my life, because of thehealing journey I've been on,
because of all the educationI've gotten over the years, it
was like one of the most joyfultimes of my life.
I mean, the experience of thehospital was awesome.
The experience of just goingthrough rehabilitation was
awesome.
The fact that I had to sit forso long really helped me build
out my whole online businessthat I wouldn't have done
(11:21):
otherwise because I'm sofreaking hyper.
I probably wouldn't have beenable to sit for that long to
build out a business.
But because I was bedridden,literally couldn't get up, it
forced me to be on my computerevery day.
I took classes, I took seminars,I took, I was watching um
podcasts, events, reallyteaching me how to run an online
business.
And my business catapulted somuch further because of that
(11:44):
situation, versus another way ofdoing that, which would have
been a person that was justlike, oh, my whole life is over.
And they just would have sat forsix whole months in this woe is
me, victim mentality.
Now I can't do anything.
Now I can't open a business.
Now I have to wait.
Now my whole life is on hold.
See, I did it totally different.
And a lot of that came fromlinking up with coaches like
(12:06):
Tina, learning how to reframe,learning how to reframe how I do
life, how I view life, how Iview challenges, issues,
circumstances, struggles thathappen in my life.
And instead of sitting in a lullfor any more than a couple hours
or even a day, max, right?
I move on.
(12:27):
I figure out what are thebenefits, what is the the
goodness that's happening fromthis and capitalize on those
things.
Did it hurt?
Yes.
Did it suck?
Yes.
Did I cry?
Yes.
Did I gain a ton of weight?
Yes.
All those things were supersucky.
But I did not concentrate on anyof those things.
I only concentrated on the goodthings that came out of it.
(12:48):
And because of that, right, somuch goodness was able to come
out of it.
SPEAKER_02 (12:52):
Right.
And and and with that being allsaid, I mean, that doesn't mean
that, you know, you're gonnafall, break your ankle or break
your leg, and lay there on thefloor thinking, okay, so what's
the good here?
Right?
Like it doesn't happen withinseconds, right?
Absolutely.
I mean, at the end of it, like,I mean, clearly it is more about
(13:16):
get me through this, right?
Like I need to get through this.
I can't sit in the lull, likeI'm in pain, I need to move on.
You know, what do I do so that Ican move on?
And that and I think that's thewhole world of personal
development, right?
I mean, we're we're you know,we're not taught how to improve
our lives unless we've had areason to.
(13:38):
And so, you know, you know, youyou are allowed to sit in the
you know, the black of it.
But just you you have to havethe willpower and the
self-control to get yourself outof it, right?
Exactly.
And that positive mindset iswhere we do that.
So now obviously, you know, youdidn't like lay there on the
(13:59):
floor, wake up and say, Okay,I'm gonna start these three
businesses, I'm going to, youknow, put money away.
I mean, obviously this came toyou like slowly.
Gradually.
Now you I mean I I I don't wantto talk about the relationship
because it's not really aboutthe relationship.
I want to talk about you.
What kind of challenges did youcome across in that process of
(14:22):
you know becoming that personthat ended up breaking your
ankle or your leg and stillbeing able to continue with the
online growth?
SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
Yeah, I mean, what if we're talking about when I
was back in my relationship, Imean, there was so much stuff,
which is why it took me so long,you know, 12, 13 years in the
relationship, I figured it outat year eight.
That's a lot of years, right?
The reason there were so manyyears is all kinds of things
self-doubt, fear, uncertainty.
(14:53):
Can I do it?
You know, he when you're in anarcissistic relationship, for
those of you that have been inone before, you're getting told
that you're dumb, stupid, idiotevery day.
You're getting told that you'refat, no one loves you, um,
you'll never amount to anything,you're worthless, you're your
ghetto, you're trash, like allthe things, right?
I'm on Hispanic descent.
When he found me, I had nomother, no father, no family, no
(15:16):
friends, right?
Because I had been disowned byeveryone I'd ever known.
I'm living in the ghetto, I haveno freaking money.
So he used all this against meevery single day, you know, your
Mexican ghetto, trash, singlemom, your mom and dad don't love
you.
All every day, while I'm tryingto build my power, while I'm
trying to like go throughpersonal development, while Les
(15:37):
Brown is telling me anything ispossible, while Tony Robbins is
saying, like, you know, stepinto your power, change your
identity.
And then I have this man over onthe other side just saying all
this shit to me.
So it was a constant.
Not only is it constant whetheryou have someone like that in
your life or not, that's like aconstant thing that's going to
happen, anyways.
(15:58):
But even more so, right?
So one of the things that Ialways tell use in my story is
like we already havedifficultness in our own mind of
like back and forth and back andforth and back and forth.
I'm a normal person.
I don't have a college degree, Iwas a single mom.
I had no help from friends orfamily, nobody to lean on, zero,
(16:21):
nobody to lean on.
And if I can do it, you can doit, right?
I had this man telling me everysingle day that I was worthless,
stupid, and dumb.
If I, with no education, nobackground, no means, no money,
can somehow crawl her way out,literally crawl up a mountain to
(16:44):
get out of this, and anybody cando it.
Anybody can do it.
And I really like to implorethat when I tell my story,
because a lot of times it's likeyou don't understand my
situation.
No, I don't understand yourexact situation, but I do know
that mine was real toughmentally, emotionally, and
physically, so and financially.
(17:05):
So figure out what are the goodthings, figure out what are the
benefits, figure out what youcan do versus what can't I do.
See, during the duration of myentire relationship, it was
always like, oh, I can't do thatbecause of this.
I can't do that because of him.
I can't do that because of mysituation.
I can't.
But when I started to get intopersonal development, one of the
(17:26):
things that I was taught was,okay, yes, you can't do all of
that.
Got it.
What can you do?
Yeah.
And when I really started toconcentrate on what is possible,
what could I do?
What would that look like?
All of a sudden, all of theopportunities that I had been
missing the whole time, thatwere there the whole time, all
(17:48):
of a sudden started parking upright in front of my freaking
face.
Yeah, when you open your mouth.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And so a lot of times we're justso stuck in all the negatives,
like my broken leg, forinstance.
There was a lot of negativethings that were happening.
I did cry, it did hurt.
I did have to go to therapy andit sucked really bad.
(18:09):
And I wanted to punch mytherapist in the freaking face
every day because he was so meanto me.
But like that's not what I'mconcentrating on during that
time.
That's not what I'mconcentrating on now.
I am so grateful for that time.
Um, and same with the situation,you know, that I that I came out
of.
And to your point, you know, asfar as it's not like when you're
(18:30):
on the ground with a broken leg,you're immediately thinking,
what are the benefits?
Like, yes, yes to that.
And the amount of time that yousit in victimhood is up to you.
It's literally up to you.
SPEAKER_02 (18:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:44):
Um, so I think as you get better as this at this,
as you work with somebody likeTina or with Tina, um, I think
that you'll start to recognizethat it's your choice on how
long you're deciding to stay inthat.
And I remember this was reallydifficult for me in the
beginning because there's thisstill this victim mentality that
(19:05):
we're all hanging on to, wherewe want to tell a story, we want
people to feel bad for us, wewant, you know, the caught, we
want to be coddled and all ofthat in the story of which that
happened.
Um, and I had to get over a lotof that.
I had to get over, like, no, youknow what, girl, like to myself,
you know what, girl?
(19:26):
You don't have to be sad.
You don't have to, you don'thave to keep carrying this
around.
Like, you can let go of this.
And that was really a realeye-opener thing for me because
I was so used to being in avictim mentality that it was
like hard for me to let go of mystories a lot because it's like
I wanted to dwell in it and maulon it and get all the accolades
(19:46):
and all the hugs and all thestuff from it.
But when I really started to sitdown and understand what
personal development was, themore that I realized like, dude,
I'm milking this, I'm milkingthis real good.
SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
Yeah, and sometimes, I mean, I think we've all uh
I've been there myself where youknow, someone, you know, like
it'll just all of a sudden cometo me and I'm like, yeah, I am
milking it.
Part of me is like, I'm gonnacontinue milking it for as long
as I can, right?
But then, you know, what thething is, what we s what we
don't realize is the longer westay there, the more weak we
(20:25):
become.
And we right, and we find that Imean, I found that I had no
inner strength whatsoever,right?
And then I had to like, youknow, sit there and ponder and
go, okay, so who that's not me.
That's not who I am.
Why am I behaving this way?
Right?
Why can't I be strong?
Like, I don't have to give, youknow, everything that I had done
(20:46):
before, right?
Right.
And so that's the internal workthat we all need to do.
And I mean, it sounds like fromyour story and from who sits in
front of me today, I mean,you're a different person.
You know, like to me, it's itseems very obvious that you're
not the same person that waslaying on the floor, you know,
asking why is my boyfriendbullying me?
(21:07):
Like, you know, that's I mean,that makes me really sad that
people have to do that to feeltheir power.
Yeah, right.
Like that just makes me so sad.
And you were like the victim of,and it wasn't even about you,
right?
It was that was all about him,right?
And he just used you.
Wow.
(21:27):
Okay, so let's not talk aboutthe story anymore.
Let's talk about what okay, nowin order for you to to make the
changes, what kinds of habitsand and mindset shifts did you
have to make?
I mean, we talked a little bitabout them, but I mean you
can't, it doesn't just happen.
You'd need to create like astructure or a strategy in your
everyday life to keep that thatgoing.
(21:50):
How do what kinds of things didyou do?
Like what kinds of habits didyou create?
You know, what kind of peopledid you have around you to keep
moving?
SPEAKER_01 (21:58):
Yeah.
So oh, number one, listening tosomething personal development
or motivational or inspirationalevery single day.
Every single day when I workedout, when I was walking, when I
was grocery shopping, when I wasdriving, I had podcasts play.
I stopped listening to musiccompletely.
Not because music is bad, butbecause I had bigger things that
I needed to figure out.
(22:18):
So listening to Money Podcasts,business podcasts, personal
development, self-love podcasts,podcasts like this, the teen is
running right here, to reallyhelp me hear other people's
stories on how they did it, howthey accomplished it, how they
were able to do it.
So every day immersing myself inother people's stories because I
didn't have self-love myself.
(22:40):
I wasn't able to do it myself.
So I had to leverage otherpeople's stories, other people's
circumstances, and climb andhang on to their stories to give
me strength to be able to go onin my life, to figure out my
life, to create a plan in mylife.
So that was number one.
Every single day, without adoubt, I literally stopped
(23:03):
listening to music for likeprobably 10 years of my life.
Oh my goodness.
There's a whole section of mylife, even after I left, because
then I was in a money lack,because then I left the
certainty of what he wasproviding for me financially,
and I needed to throw myselfinto my business and making
fucking money because he hadtold me that I was gonna end up
when I left him.
(23:23):
He's like, You're gonna end upback here within six months with
your tail between your legs, oryou're gonna be living in a
dumpster at the freaking officein a cardboard box.
You're never gonna make it.
And I was so scared to death.
So even after I left, I had tofreaking stay honed in, focused
in on making enough money sothat I could relax, and I didn't
(23:45):
ever, ever, ever have to worryabout going back to him.
So um, number two, I made aplan.
I made a plan, an absolute plan.
Every single day, every singleday I would write stuff down.
I actually still have my mymoney journal.
So my money journal when I whenI in 2017, 2017 was when I
(24:10):
started a money journal.
I think I was already, I alreadyleft him at that point.
But this is one of the thingsthat I did.
I had to get real with my money.
How much money's in, how muchmoney's coming out, how much
money do I have?
How much money in my stocks?
How much money in my creditcards?
Where am I at financially?
And I've literally done thisevery single month.
You can see I just did itfucking yesterday.
(24:31):
I just did it yesterday, 8, 5,25.
Yesterday, I just did it.
I have done it every singlemonth.
I have not missed a month since2017.
Every single month, how muchmoney do I have so that I could
feel confident in my ability tobe able to sustain my life,
making sure that it's going upevery single month.
(24:54):
And if it comes down, why is itcoming down?
Because I'm investing into mybusiness, right?
A plan as far as like what'snext, what are the next things
that I'm going to do in order toget to the next level?
So when I wanted to escape,right, I had to find a place.
I had to get a car, I had to geta phone, I had because he owned
everything, right?
He owned everything.
(25:14):
I had nothing.
So I had to save enough moneyfor a car and I wanted to pay it
off in full because I didn'twant he had me so scared that I
wasn't gonna be able to make it.
I had to pay off a rental for ayear because again, I was so
scared, so I had to get enoughmoney for that.
I had to pay off um a phone,right?
In full, the phone in full.
So I had to pay was the monthlyum membership.
(25:36):
So there was a certain amount Iadded it all up.
I added it all up.
What is the amount?
It was a really fucking largeamount.
And I said, this is the amountof money that I need to acquire
before I even think aboutleaving, because then everything
is paid for full, and then all Ihave to do is worry about
groceries and utilities, andthat's it, right?
(25:56):
And then just odds and ends,because my son was already in
school, there was no daycare.
SPEAKER_02 (26:00):
So um, how much money I just the thought of it
is like it's it's a scarythought.
Absolutely look at you, likelook at you.
You're you're doing your ownthing now.
So when you look back at that, Imean that that that sounds
pretty shitty, right?
But when you look back at thatand you look back at or you look
(26:20):
at the woman you are today, doyou think that you are the woman
that you thought you were goingto reinvent, or do you look back
and go, wow, I can't believe, Ican't believe what I where I am?
SPEAKER_01 (26:33):
Well, that's a really good question.
Um I don't think I'm even heryet.
SPEAKER_02 (26:40):
Oh, I love that answer.
SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
That's yeah, because you're not even I I have I have
and I had um such a big visionfor myself.
I am in the works of becomingher.
Um, I know that you work withinner child work.
Um, so quickly, just the waythat I envision inner child
work, um, I believe that I am,and I know there's different
(27:05):
versions, and this might be theversion that you teach, I don't
know, but I believe that I amevery year I've ever been.
So I believe that I'm 42.
So I believe I have aone-year-old, a seven-year-old,
a 12-year-old, a 30-year-old, a15-year-old, and a 41-year-old
inside me.
And every year, that woman, thatSabrina lived for a full year.
And then at the end of the year,she hands the baton off to the
(27:26):
next year, right?
So my birthday is tomorrow.
I'm gonna be 43 years old.
Oh, happy birthday! Thank you.
So tomorrow, I have to hand thatbaton over to my 43-year-old.
And my thought is did I doeverything I could do for this
full year to be able to hand thebaton off to that 43-year-old,
to be able to set her up forsuccess so that she can then
(27:49):
take that baton and she canfreaking run her race and get to
the next level.
So that's kind of where I'vebeen at since I got into
personal development is likeconstantly improving the year
that I'm in without any likeheaviness or guilt about the
past, or heaviness or guiltabout like who I'm ultimately
going to be in the future.
Just do the best, absolute best.
(28:10):
Learn everything, do everything,build my wealth, build my
education, my knowledge, do thebest I can so I can hand it off
to the next person.
SPEAKER_02 (28:17):
I really love that.
And I think, like you said, youknow, we have the inner child is
always within us, right?
But I think what we all need tolearn is how to make the inner
child understand that everythingthat they did was good enough,
right?
And that there's no you can't goback.
(28:37):
Like I can't go back, right?
You can't go back to when youwere 31.
It doesn't matter what washappening, right?
And so we need to be able toforgive the inner child and make
that inner child of our own feelforgiven, right?
So that they're not always inour face.
Because a mine comes up, youknow.
I was in a coaching call with mycoach last week, and I don't
(28:58):
know what she asked me to do.
And she put her pen down and shesaid, Tina, I have to tell you
something.
I said, What?
I just saw your inner child.
Like she saw it on my face, andI was like, What the hell are
you talking about?
Wow, I believe that.
Yeah, and and you know, itreally made me think like, holy
crap, like that critic, thatlittle child comes out no matter
(29:21):
what, whether we want her to ornot.
Right.
And so I like that you saidthat, right?
Is you know, as long as youknow, you can end the year
feeling like everything that Iset out to do, I did.
Right.
So I I love that.
I love that.
Now, if you were to meet a womanwho is, you know, on the edge,
(29:41):
but not really sure of what iscoming for her, what would you
tell her?
On the edge of what?
Tell me.
Reinvention.
Like something that you knowmaking a huge shift like this,
right?
SPEAKER_01 (29:53):
Yeah, girl, it's so hard and it's so easy.
We make it so much harder.
Harder for ourselves.
So this is hilarious.
Not hilarious.
This is not hilarious at all.
This is interesting.
My jumping off, I call itjumping off, is so vivid to me.
(30:14):
This I knew the reinvention hadto happen, but I was so married
to my victimhood mentality whileI'm going through this personal
development.
I'm like, I'm always like, yes,all those things, but like still
my victimhood.
Yes, all these things.
I'm learning all these things,but still my story, right?
I was so attached to my story.
(30:36):
And like, whoa is me.
The reason my life sucks so badis because of all these
circumstances that happened tome.
And I'm never going to get towhere I ultimately want to be
because of all this shit thathappened to me.
It was so nerve-wracking to haveto jump from victimhood to
victor, right?
And my middle name is my name isSabrina Victoria, right?
My middle name is Victoria.
So it was like superinspirational for me.
(30:58):
And I would play out this storyin my life of like, because once
you learn enough, you can'tunlearn it.
That's what kind of sucks.
Like, I always tell people,like, in jest, but also like not
in jest, that like if you becareful because once you know a
certain amount, like, bruh, youcan't ever, it's almost more
(31:21):
depressing.
It's almost more depressing ifyou don't take it on.
Because then you know, and thenyou're still being a jackass.
Yeah.
They call that failure of theintellect, right?
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
So, anyways, to answer yourstory, you've got to you gotta
jump off.
There's two cliffs where you arenow, the story, the woe is me,
all the horrible things, andthen there's the new identity,
(31:44):
there's the new shift, there'sthe reinvention that Tina's
talking about that's happening.
And you gotta jump.
You have to physically jump fromone to the other, and you can't
ever go back because theprobability of you jumping back
and actually making it is realfucking low.
Yeah.
It's real low.
Yeah.
(32:04):
So once you jump, you gotta goall in.
You gotta shed it, you gottashed the stories, and you gotta
jump all in on the new identity.
But what you have to do beforethat is you have to start tippy
toeing into the story.
Start to get accolades on allthe goodness that's happening in
your life, right?
Really stepping into who you areand what you do.
(32:25):
Start saying I'm beautiful,start saying I'm smart, right?
One of the things that I starteddoing early on, my boyfriend
used to look at me like I wasfucking crazy.
But like one of the things thatI used to do to start growing my
um my self-love is I used tosay, I know everything.
Right.
So he'd say like littlesarcastic things when I did
something right.
He'd be like, Oh, look at you.
(32:46):
How do you know that?
How did you know that?
And then I would pipe back andI'd be like, because I know
everything.
I had to start telling myself, Ihad to start feeding myself.
I am beautiful, I am smart, Iknow everything.
Little itty, but notsignificant, but little things
to help me recognize and tellmyself internally that I am
capable.
And along with a few otherthings, right?
(33:08):
Which that's a whole notherpodcast, but be able to to to so
that I could be able to leap.
And when I leap, I'm there,right?
I'm on the journey of nowreinvention.
We're not going back to the oldstuff.
SPEAKER_02 (33:20):
Yeah, I love that.
I do that too.
Like sometimes I feel stupid,right?
Like my husband is super smart,and sometimes he'll say things
and I'm like, how the hell doeshe know all this stuff?
Right?
But then I remind myself, I knowthings too.
Yes, right?
Like I'm not an idiot, right?
Yeah, and I think that's what wehave to like tell ourselves.
We have to confirm to ourselvesthat we know things, we do hard
(33:45):
things, right?
It might not be the same hardthings that the neighbors is
doing, or I might not know whatthe my husband knows, but I do
know things.
So it's very important that weconfirm with ourselves who we
are, yeah, what we know, what wedo.
Yeah, I love that.
So, I mean, like you said, youstill you you you're still
(34:05):
going, you're you're not thereyet, and you may never get
there, right?
I mean, that's the reality ofpersonal development.
Um, but what what does yourfuture look like?
What is your, you know, I callit blooming.
What does your blooming looklike right now?
SPEAKER_01 (34:19):
Well, a lot of my um a lot of my vision is
concentrated a lot around mybusiness right now.
So I have huge goals for mybusiness as far as the
community, as far as thelocation, as far as um the
growth of the women within thecommunity, really concentrating
on their growth, their successto really help elevate right the
(34:40):
entire community as a whole.
Um, but yeah, I mean, we'regoing big into advertising, into
locations, into trainings,teaching, curriculum, and really
helping these women get to thenext level and creating a
community around that of womenwho are successful, women that
are powerful.
You know, one of the things thatmy abuser used to tell me all
the time is um he used to mockme and he'd be like, Do you have
(35:03):
any money?
Or whoever has all the money hasall the power.
She used to say, Whoever has allthe money has all the power.
Do you have any money?
And I had no money because hehad all the money.
So that was him justre-emphasizing, right?
You have no power.
You have no money, therefore youhave no power.
You're insignificant.
So that's something that'sreally stuck with me throughout
all these years, right?
So I'm really honed in on I wantthese women to be powerful.
(35:27):
You know, I want these women tohave a say.
I want these women to have achoice.
And in this world that we livein, that is connected to money,
right?
I want these women to createsuccess in their life so that
they have power, so that theyhave voice, so they have choice.
And that's really near and dearto me because that was something
that was really honed in or umnailed into me during that
(35:48):
relationship, right?
So seeking that for myself andseeking that for my ladies.
SPEAKER_02 (35:53):
I love that.
I, you know, and I think, youknow, it's really sad, but we
need to stick together.
Yeah.
Right?
We need to, as women, we need tocreate our own community so that
we're we are supported.
We are, you know, excuse me,when we need a hand or when we
need, you know, new habits tocreate, where do I go?
Like who can help me with this?
(36:14):
Right?
Yeah, I love that.
So where can people follow youor connect with you?
SPEAKER_01 (36:19):
My name.
My name is Sabrina Victoria, soSabrinaVictoria.com.
Um, and then that website leadsto all the other goodness, my
social media and all the otherthings that I do, the agency and
the community.
SPEAKER_02 (36:31):
I love it.
Well, thank you so much forjoining me and sharing your
story with us.
I think it was amazing.
It was like I'm totally amazedby your story and your growth.
So thank you very much.
Yes, thank you.
Thanks for listening toConfidence in Bloom, where we
celebrate the amazing,brilliant, and beautiful woman
you already are.
(36:51):
This season of Shift is yourinvitation to rise, reinvent,
and reconnect with the womanyou're becoming.
You don't need to look like asoup supermodel or a movie star.
Spoiler alert, they don't evenlook like that.
You are already enough, worthyof love, success, and a life
that feels as good as it looks.
We give so much love to everyoneelse.
(37:12):
It's time to pour some of thatlove back into you.
If you're ready to reclaim yourconfidence and step into your
next chapter, I'm offeringpersonalized coaching, three
focused sessions to help youbuild unshakable confidence,
define your personal brand, andcreate a signature style that
reflects who you truly are.
Because she comes in every shapeand size, and reinvention has no
(37:37):
expiration date.
Want to be a guest here onConfidence in Bloom?
Let's connect.
Find me on Instagram atInfobloom Styling, email Tina at
Infobloomstyling.com or visitthe Divas That Care Network
website.
So until next time, keepblooming boldly and confidently.
SPEAKER_00 (38:01):
Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of
course on divas that care.com,where you can subscribe to our
newsletter so you don't miss athing.
It's Divas the Care Radio.
Stories, strategies, and ideasto inspire positive change.
Welcome to Divas That Care, anetwork of women committed to
making our world a better placefor everyone.
This is a global movement forwomen, by women engaged in a
collaborative effort to create abetter world for future
generations.
(00:20):
To find out more about themovement, visit divas that
care.com after the show.
Right now, though, stay tunedfor another jolt of inspiration.
SPEAKER_02 (00:31):
Welcome to Confidence in Bloom, where bold
women rise, shine, and own theirpower.
We all face that pesky innercritic, what I call the itty
bitty shitty committee,whispering self-sabotaging
doubts and untrue trash talkthat holds us back.
Here, we don't let that noisewin.
This is a space to celebrate thefierce, fabulous women who have
(00:54):
broken free from fear, crushedlimiting beliefs, and stepped
into their full, unstoppableselves.
Because let's be real, the mostpowerful thing any woman can
wear is her confidence.
I'm Tina Spolotini, your hostwith the DivaSat Care Network,
and I will bring you realstories from women who reclaimed
their voice, embraced theirworth, and are lighting the way
(01:16):
for all of us.
Ready to bloom into your bestself?
Let's dive in.
Today I'm chatting with SabrinaVictoria.
Once a single mom trapped in a13-year narcissistic
relationship, Sabrina Victoriarose with resilience and
purpose.
Now the creator and CEO of HerNation Global and host of her
(01:38):
talk show, she's on a mission tohelp others rise too, equipping
women with tools to lead, heal,and thrive unapologetically in
life and business.
Okay, so welcome, Sabrina.
How are you?
I'm doing so good.
Awesome, awesome.
Tell us a little bit more aboutyourself.
SPEAKER_01 (01:58):
Um well, I am a mother.
Um my son is 21 years old.
I run a company called HerNation Global, where I help uh
women entrepreneurs, womenbusiness owners um take their
life to the next level, taketheir business to the next
level.
Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (02:15):
Okay, so Her Nation, what exactly is that?
SPEAKER_01 (02:19):
Um, Her Nation Global is a community for women
business owners.
We uh have two sides of thebusiness.
So the front facing is a mediacompany called Her Media Agency.
And um we do podcasting, we runa digital magazine, we do uh big
recreation, we do um uh websiterebranding, and then the back
(02:44):
end of the business is acommunity called H Club for
women business owners.
It is masterminds, networking,business workshops, sales
workshops to really help womencreate businesses that are
thriving, businesses that aresurviving.
SPEAKER_02 (02:58):
I love that.
I love that.
And so reinvention is sort ofyour it's a little bit of your
key process, right?
I mean, women in business, umthat's a reinvention on its own,
right?
Oftentimes, not always, butoftentimes, you know, women and
I know this just from peoplethat are my age that are just
(03:18):
going into business, that is thereinvention that I'm speaking
of.
And I mean, you see it with thewomen in your world all the
time, right?
They're they're con we'reconstantly changing, right?
We're always, you know, doingthe the famous pivot, um, just
to, you know, stay up with themarket, stay up with the
industry, whatever, you know,what have you.
Um, so you are like therewitnessing and supporting women
(03:42):
through that.
Am I right?
SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, that's the whole uh thewhole point of the community is
to get them to the next leveland get them out of the mindset,
right, of being all bythemselves, being without a
community, um, going through acycle of like a hamster on
hamster wheel where they're notgetting anywhere, and also just
not knowing what to do next.
You know, a lot of times we opena business and we've gotten it
(04:06):
to as far as we can with theknowledge of which we have.
And then that's it.
We don't have any moreknowledge.
And that's a lot about life justin general, right?
Like, how do you get how do youyou can get yourself only so far
with the knowledge that youhave?
And then once you get to thatpoint, what do you do?
You either have to drop um timeon watching YouTube videos,
(04:26):
reading books, you have to getsome sort of a coach, you have
to join some sort of a communityto get you to the next level.
So, you know, most of society ingeneral lives at a very
mediocrity um level, right?
In business and health andrelationships, just very
mediocre.
And we really want to thrive,right?
We really want to thrive incertain areas of our business,
(04:47):
whether it's our health or ourrelationships or our money.
Um uh we have to, you know, wehave to educate ourselves,
educate ourselves on the thingsthat we don't know that we don't
know.
So uh that's what you know, partof my community within the realm
of a business andentrepreneurship is really
helping these women to get tothe next level.
SPEAKER_02 (05:06):
I love that.
That's like the village, right?
You know how we've always heardit takes a village to raise a
child, right?
And and our business is oftenanother child to us.
And so you're kind of thesupport, the village, right?
You're you allow the women tocome in and say, Okay, what do I
do next?
Right?
I know this part of it, butthere's gotta be more because
(05:26):
it's not going anywhere or it'snot, you know, thriving the way
I would like.
I love that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um now in your in your pastlife, you've had to make some
big changes.
You were married for 13 years.
What signs or whispers did younotice that were like, you need
you, you're you're meant formore, right?
Like this isn't what you need,this isn't what you're here for.
SPEAKER_01 (05:48):
Yeah, absolutely.
So um I was not married, I wasjust in a very long-term
relationship.
And the pivot, well, I mean,that was obvious.
He was a very abusive partner.
So um, I was dealing withmental, emotional, sexual, and
financial abuse for that uhduration of time.
And really, what happened wasprobably about eight years in,
um, I had a total epiphany.
(06:09):
I always say Google saved mylife.
I was on the floor in the feudalposition, in the dark, in the
bathroom, bawling, justscreaming and crying like death
was coming out of me, justfeeling so stuck, so unhealthy,
so much like a prisoner, like aslave in my own life, having no
way to get out, no way toescape, not understanding why I
(06:32):
was so unhappy.
And I did a Google search rightthere on the floor.
I'll never forget.
I took my phone out of mypocket, I could barely see
because like I was crying, and IGoogled, why is my boyfriend
bullying me?
Because I just did notunderstand why he was so mean to
me every single day.
Like, what is up?
I'm a good person, I'm a goodgirlfriend.
(06:53):
And the whole world ofnarcissism just hit me right in
the face.
Again, right?
Not knowing what you don't know.
See, I always thought abuse wasphysical.
I didn't know abuse was verbal.
I didn't know abuse was mental.
I didn't know abuse was sexualor even financial, like
financial abuse.
I had never even heard of thatbefore.
And, you know, when somebodykeeps all the money for
(07:15):
themselves and doesn't give youany money, you're living off of
you're living off of pennies orwhatever they throw at you.
So um when I figured this out,that was the pivot.
So it took me a few years, and II did stay with him for a dozen
plus years.
Um, but at that moment, eightyears in, is when I made a huge
change in my life, um, dove headfirst into personal development
(07:36):
and reinventing myself, right?
Stepping into this new identityof a woman who was powerful, a
woman who knew things, a womanwho um who had money.
You know, I opened up a secretbank account, I started three
online um three onlinebusinesses covertly, and I
started saving money just underthe radar, and then literally
(07:57):
one day I just ran away.
SPEAKER_02 (08:01):
My God.
So first I want to say I'm sorrythat you had to go through that.
I don't think any person, anyhuman deserves to be treated
that way.
But at the same time, I wonderwhen you look back at that
story, you know, and it's Imean, it's a short, it's really
it's a short time of your life,but it was so heavy and so I
mean traumatic for you.
(08:22):
Do you look back at that with asense of gratitude?
Um I mean, uh gratitude is maybeis a strong word, but do you
look at that and say, you know,I'm grateful that that happened
because I wouldn't be where I amtoday if it wouldn't have?
Or do you look back and say, Doyou still kind of, you know, I
mean, everybody wishes thatwouldn't happen, but you know,
(08:43):
uh when you look back at thatstory, what goes through you?
SPEAKER_01 (08:46):
Um I would do it all over again.
Yeah, I would do it all overagain as is.
I learned so much from thatstory.
The personal development, theeducation that I've given myself
since that relationship, I don'tthink I ever would have gotten
to the power, the strength, andthe mental capacity that I have
now if it wasn't for thatrelationship.
(09:08):
And and really the whole storyleading up to the relationship,
right?
Getting pregnant out of wedlock,being in a um in a very strict
religion.
Um I would do the entire thingall over again knowing the
results that I ended up with.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (09:26):
I love that.
And I I mean I don't love thatit happened, and I don't love
that you know, that this kind ofstuff is happening around us all
the time.
But I love that you can walkaway from it and and be you know
somewhat grateful for it.
Because I mean, first of all,you got a beautiful child out of
it, right?
I mean, that's you know, usuallywhen you know women are like
(09:47):
that's the first thing that Idon't regret.
But right, you where you standtoday wouldn't would be totally
different if you wouldn't havegone through what you went
through.
SPEAKER_01 (09:57):
Yeah, right.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think more I wish morepeople would understand that.
And I know that that yourlisteners here with uh with your
podcast are very much on thatjourney of like trying to figure
that out, trying to realize whatis the reframe, why did this
happen?
What can I get from this?
And I think that's one of thethings that I know you what what
(10:19):
I wish, and I'm certain you wishfor individuals, because we
can't help, we can't stop theinevitable, right?
There are things in our lifethat are just gonna freaking
happen.
You know, I broke my leg inOctober of 2020, right in the
middle of the freaking pandemic,literally snapped my leg in
half.
Like I could have stayed in thein the um lull of like
victimhood for so long withthat.
(10:40):
Like I've never broken a I'venever broken anything before.
That in itself was torturous.
And we're in the middle offreaking COVID.
I have no money coming in.
Now all of a sudden medicalbills up the wazoo because my
insurance only covered so much.
It's like the there's so muchnegative that could have
happened.
And because of the mindset,because of the shifts that I've
(11:01):
had in my life, because of thehealing journey I've been on,
because of all the educationI've gotten over the years, it
was like one of the most joyfultimes of my life.
I mean, the experience of thehospital was awesome.
The experience of just goingthrough rehabilitation was
awesome.
The fact that I had to sit forso long really helped me build
out my whole online businessthat I wouldn't have done
(11:21):
otherwise because I'm sofreaking hyper.
I probably wouldn't have beenable to sit for that long to
build out a business.
But because I was bedridden,literally couldn't get up, it
forced me to be on my computerevery day.
I took classes, I took seminars,I took, I was watching um
podcasts, events, reallyteaching me how to run an online
business.
And my business catapulted somuch further because of that
(11:44):
situation, versus another way ofdoing that, which would have
been a person that was justlike, oh, my whole life is over.
And they just would have sat forsix whole months in this woe is
me, victim mentality.
Now I can't do anything.
Now I can't open a business.
Now I have to wait.
Now my whole life is on hold.
See, I did it totally different.
And a lot of that came fromlinking up with coaches like
(12:06):
Tina, learning how to reframe,learning how to reframe how I do
life, how I view life, how Iview challenges, issues,
circumstances, struggles thathappen in my life.
And instead of sitting in a lullfor any more than a couple hours
or even a day, max, right?
I move on.
(12:27):
I figure out what are thebenefits, what is the the
goodness that's happening fromthis and capitalize on those
things.
Did it hurt?
Yes.
Did it suck?
Yes.
Did I cry?
Yes.
Did I gain a ton of weight?
Yes.
All those things were supersucky.
But I did not concentrate on anyof those things.
I only concentrated on the goodthings that came out of it.
(12:48):
And because of that, right, somuch goodness was able to come
out of it.
SPEAKER_02 (12:52):
Right.
And and and with that being allsaid, I mean, that doesn't mean
that, you know, you're gonnafall, break your ankle or break
your leg, and lay there on thefloor thinking, okay, so what's
the good here?
Right?
Like it doesn't happen withinseconds, right?
Absolutely.
I mean, at the end of it, like,I mean, clearly it is more about
(13:16):
get me through this, right?
Like I need to get through this.
I can't sit in the lull, likeI'm in pain, I need to move on.
You know, what do I do so that Ican move on?
And that and I think that's thewhole world of personal
development, right?
I mean, we're we're you know,we're not taught how to improve
our lives unless we've had areason to.
(13:38):
And so, you know, you know, youyou are allowed to sit in the
you know, the black of it.
But just you you have to havethe willpower and the
self-control to get yourself outof it, right?
Exactly.
And that positive mindset iswhere we do that.
So now obviously, you know, youdidn't like lay there on the
(13:59):
floor, wake up and say, Okay,I'm gonna start these three
businesses, I'm going to, youknow, put money away.
I mean, obviously this came toyou like slowly.
Gradually.
Now you I mean I I I don't wantto talk about the relationship
because it's not really aboutthe relationship.
I want to talk about you.
What kind of challenges did youcome across in that process of
(14:22):
you know becoming that personthat ended up breaking your
ankle or your leg and stillbeing able to continue with the
online growth?
SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
Yeah, I mean, what if we're talking about when I
was back in my relationship, Imean, there was so much stuff,
which is why it took me so long,you know, 12, 13 years in the
relationship, I figured it outat year eight.
That's a lot of years, right?
The reason there were so manyyears is all kinds of things
self-doubt, fear, uncertainty.
(14:53):
Can I do it?
You know, he when you're in anarcissistic relationship, for
those of you that have been inone before, you're getting told
that you're dumb, stupid, idiotevery day.
You're getting told that you'refat, no one loves you, um,
you'll never amount to anything,you're worthless, you're your
ghetto, you're trash, like allthe things, right?
I'm on Hispanic descent.
When he found me, I had nomother, no father, no family, no
(15:16):
friends, right?
Because I had been disowned byeveryone I'd ever known.
I'm living in the ghetto, I haveno freaking money.
So he used all this against meevery single day, you know, your
Mexican ghetto, trash, singlemom, your mom and dad don't love
you.
All every day, while I'm tryingto build my power, while I'm
trying to like go throughpersonal development, while Les
(15:37):
Brown is telling me anything ispossible, while Tony Robbins is
saying, like, you know, stepinto your power, change your
identity.
And then I have this man over onthe other side just saying all
this shit to me.
So it was a constant.
Not only is it constant whetheryou have someone like that in
your life or not, that's like aconstant thing that's going to
happen, anyways.
(15:58):
But even more so, right?
So one of the things that Ialways tell use in my story is
like we already havedifficultness in our own mind of
like back and forth and back andforth and back and forth.
I'm a normal person.
I don't have a college degree, Iwas a single mom.
I had no help from friends orfamily, nobody to lean on, zero,
(16:21):
nobody to lean on.
And if I can do it, you can doit, right?
I had this man telling me everysingle day that I was worthless,
stupid, and dumb.
If I, with no education, nobackground, no means, no money,
can somehow crawl her way out,literally crawl up a mountain to
(16:44):
get out of this, and anybody cando it.
Anybody can do it.
And I really like to implorethat when I tell my story,
because a lot of times it's likeyou don't understand my
situation.
No, I don't understand yourexact situation, but I do know
that mine was real toughmentally, emotionally, and
physically, so and financially.
(17:05):
So figure out what are the goodthings, figure out what are the
benefits, figure out what youcan do versus what can't I do.
See, during the duration of myentire relationship, it was
always like, oh, I can't do thatbecause of this.
I can't do that because of him.
I can't do that because of mysituation.
I can't.
But when I started to get intopersonal development, one of the
(17:26):
things that I was taught was,okay, yes, you can't do all of
that.
Got it.
What can you do?
Yeah.
And when I really started toconcentrate on what is possible,
what could I do?
What would that look like?
All of a sudden, all of theopportunities that I had been
missing the whole time, thatwere there the whole time, all
(17:48):
of a sudden started parking upright in front of my freaking
face.
Yeah, when you open your mouth.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And so a lot of times we're justso stuck in all the negatives,
like my broken leg, forinstance.
There was a lot of negativethings that were happening.
I did cry, it did hurt.
I did have to go to therapy andit sucked really bad.
(18:09):
And I wanted to punch mytherapist in the freaking face
every day because he was so meanto me.
But like that's not what I'mconcentrating on during that
time.
That's not what I'mconcentrating on now.
I am so grateful for that time.
Um, and same with the situation,you know, that I that I came out
of.
And to your point, you know, asfar as it's not like when you're
(18:30):
on the ground with a broken leg,you're immediately thinking,
what are the benefits?
Like, yes, yes to that.
And the amount of time that yousit in victimhood is up to you.
It's literally up to you.
SPEAKER_02 (18:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:44):
Um, so I think as you get better as this at this,
as you work with somebody likeTina or with Tina, um, I think
that you'll start to recognizethat it's your choice on how
long you're deciding to stay inthat.
And I remember this was reallydifficult for me in the
beginning because there's thisstill this victim mentality that
(19:05):
we're all hanging on to, wherewe want to tell a story, we want
people to feel bad for us, wewant, you know, the caught, we
want to be coddled and all ofthat in the story of which that
happened.
Um, and I had to get over a lotof that.
I had to get over, like, no, youknow what, girl, like to myself,
you know what, girl?
(19:26):
You don't have to be sad.
You don't have to, you don'thave to keep carrying this
around.
Like, you can let go of this.
And that was really a realeye-opener thing for me because
I was so used to being in avictim mentality that it was
like hard for me to let go of mystories a lot because it's like
I wanted to dwell in it and maulon it and get all the accolades
(19:46):
and all the hugs and all thestuff from it.
But when I really started to sitdown and understand what
personal development was, themore that I realized like, dude,
I'm milking this, I'm milkingthis real good.
SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
Yeah, and sometimes, I mean, I think we've all uh
I've been there myself where youknow, someone, you know, like
it'll just all of a sudden cometo me and I'm like, yeah, I am
milking it.
Part of me is like, I'm gonnacontinue milking it for as long
as I can, right?
But then, you know, what thething is, what we s what we
don't realize is the longer westay there, the more weak we
(20:25):
become.
And we right, and we find that Imean, I found that I had no
inner strength whatsoever,right?
And then I had to like, youknow, sit there and ponder and
go, okay, so who that's not me.
That's not who I am.
Why am I behaving this way?
Right?
Why can't I be strong?
Like, I don't have to give, youknow, everything that I had done
(20:46):
before, right?
Right.
And so that's the internal workthat we all need to do.
And I mean, it sounds like fromyour story and from who sits in
front of me today, I mean,you're a different person.
You know, like to me, it's itseems very obvious that you're
not the same person that waslaying on the floor, you know,
asking why is my boyfriendbullying me?
(21:07):
Like, you know, that's I mean,that makes me really sad that
people have to do that to feeltheir power.
Yeah, right.
Like that just makes me so sad.
And you were like the victim of,and it wasn't even about you,
right?
It was that was all about him,right?
And he just used you.
Wow.
(21:27):
Okay, so let's not talk aboutthe story anymore.
Let's talk about what okay, nowin order for you to to make the
changes, what kinds of habitsand and mindset shifts did you
have to make?
I mean, we talked a little bitabout them, but I mean you
can't, it doesn't just happen.
You'd need to create like astructure or a strategy in your
everyday life to keep that thatgoing.
(21:50):
How do what kinds of things didyou do?
Like what kinds of habits didyou create?
You know, what kind of peopledid you have around you to keep
moving?
SPEAKER_01 (21:58):
Yeah.
So oh, number one, listening tosomething personal development
or motivational or inspirationalevery single day.
Every single day when I workedout, when I was walking, when I
was grocery shopping, when I wasdriving, I had podcasts play.
I stopped listening to musiccompletely.
Not because music is bad, butbecause I had bigger things that
I needed to figure out.
(22:18):
So listening to Money Podcasts,business podcasts, personal
development, self-love podcasts,podcasts like this, the teen is
running right here, to reallyhelp me hear other people's
stories on how they did it, howthey accomplished it, how they
were able to do it.
So every day immersing myself inother people's stories because I
didn't have self-love myself.
(22:40):
I wasn't able to do it myself.
So I had to leverage otherpeople's stories, other people's
circumstances, and climb andhang on to their stories to give
me strength to be able to go onin my life, to figure out my
life, to create a plan in mylife.
So that was number one.
Every single day, without adoubt, I literally stopped
(23:03):
listening to music for likeprobably 10 years of my life.
Oh my goodness.
There's a whole section of mylife, even after I left, because
then I was in a money lack,because then I left the
certainty of what he wasproviding for me financially,
and I needed to throw myselfinto my business and making
fucking money because he hadtold me that I was gonna end up
when I left him.
(23:23):
He's like, You're gonna end upback here within six months with
your tail between your legs, oryou're gonna be living in a
dumpster at the freaking officein a cardboard box.
You're never gonna make it.
And I was so scared to death.
So even after I left, I had tofreaking stay honed in, focused
in on making enough money sothat I could relax, and I didn't
(23:45):
ever, ever, ever have to worryabout going back to him.
So um, number two, I made aplan.
I made a plan, an absolute plan.
Every single day, every singleday I would write stuff down.
I actually still have my mymoney journal.
So my money journal when I whenI in 2017, 2017 was when I
(24:10):
started a money journal.
I think I was already, I alreadyleft him at that point.
But this is one of the thingsthat I did.
I had to get real with my money.
How much money's in, how muchmoney's coming out, how much
money do I have?
How much money in my stocks?
How much money in my creditcards?
Where am I at financially?
And I've literally done thisevery single month.
You can see I just did itfucking yesterday.
(24:31):
I just did it yesterday, 8, 5,25.
Yesterday, I just did it.
I have done it every singlemonth.
I have not missed a month since2017.
Every single month, how muchmoney do I have so that I could
feel confident in my ability tobe able to sustain my life,
making sure that it's going upevery single month.
(24:54):
And if it comes down, why is itcoming down?
Because I'm investing into mybusiness, right?
A plan as far as like what'snext, what are the next things
that I'm going to do in order toget to the next level?
So when I wanted to escape,right, I had to find a place.
I had to get a car, I had to geta phone, I had because he owned
everything, right?
He owned everything.
(25:14):
I had nothing.
So I had to save enough moneyfor a car and I wanted to pay it
off in full because I didn'twant he had me so scared that I
wasn't gonna be able to make it.
I had to pay off a rental for ayear because again, I was so
scared, so I had to get enoughmoney for that.
I had to pay off um a phone,right?
In full, the phone in full.
So I had to pay was the monthlyum membership.
(25:36):
So there was a certain amount Iadded it all up.
I added it all up.
What is the amount?
It was a really fucking largeamount.
And I said, this is the amountof money that I need to acquire
before I even think aboutleaving, because then everything
is paid for full, and then all Ihave to do is worry about
groceries and utilities, andthat's it, right?
(25:56):
And then just odds and ends,because my son was already in
school, there was no daycare.
SPEAKER_02 (26:00):
So um, how much money I just the thought of it
is like it's it's a scarythought.
Absolutely look at you, likelook at you.
You're you're doing your ownthing now.
So when you look back at that, Imean that that that sounds
pretty shitty, right?
But when you look back at thatand you look back at or you look
(26:20):
at the woman you are today, doyou think that you are the woman
that you thought you were goingto reinvent, or do you look back
and go, wow, I can't believe, Ican't believe what I where I am?
SPEAKER_01 (26:33):
Well, that's a really good question.
Um I don't think I'm even heryet.
SPEAKER_02 (26:40):
Oh, I love that answer.
SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
That's yeah, because you're not even I I have I have
and I had um such a big visionfor myself.
I am in the works of becomingher.
Um, I know that you work withinner child work.
Um, so quickly, just the waythat I envision inner child
work, um, I believe that I am,and I know there's different
(27:05):
versions, and this might be theversion that you teach, I don't
know, but I believe that I amevery year I've ever been.
So I believe that I'm 42.
So I believe I have aone-year-old, a seven-year-old,
a 12-year-old, a 30-year-old, a15-year-old, and a 41-year-old
inside me.
And every year, that woman, thatSabrina lived for a full year.
And then at the end of the year,she hands the baton off to the
(27:26):
next year, right?
So my birthday is tomorrow.
I'm gonna be 43 years old.
Oh, happy birthday! Thank you.
So tomorrow, I have to hand thatbaton over to my 43-year-old.
And my thought is did I doeverything I could do for this
full year to be able to hand thebaton off to that 43-year-old,
to be able to set her up forsuccess so that she can then
(27:49):
take that baton and she canfreaking run her race and get to
the next level.
So that's kind of where I'vebeen at since I got into
personal development is likeconstantly improving the year
that I'm in without any likeheaviness or guilt about the
past, or heaviness or guiltabout like who I'm ultimately
going to be in the future.
Just do the best, absolute best.
(28:10):
Learn everything, do everything,build my wealth, build my
education, my knowledge, do thebest I can so I can hand it off
to the next person.
SPEAKER_02 (28:17):
I really love that.
And I think, like you said, youknow, we have the inner child is
always within us, right?
But I think what we all need tolearn is how to make the inner
child understand that everythingthat they did was good enough,
right?
And that there's no you can't goback.
(28:37):
Like I can't go back, right?
You can't go back to when youwere 31.
It doesn't matter what washappening, right?
And so we need to be able toforgive the inner child and make
that inner child of our own feelforgiven, right?
So that they're not always inour face.
Because a mine comes up, youknow.
I was in a coaching call with mycoach last week, and I don't
(28:58):
know what she asked me to do.
And she put her pen down and shesaid, Tina, I have to tell you
something.
I said, What?
I just saw your inner child.
Like she saw it on my face, andI was like, What the hell are
you talking about?
Wow, I believe that.
Yeah, and and you know, itreally made me think like, holy
crap, like that critic, thatlittle child comes out no matter
(29:21):
what, whether we want her to ornot.
Right.
And so I like that you saidthat, right?
Is you know, as long as youknow, you can end the year
feeling like everything that Iset out to do, I did.
Right.
So I I love that.
I love that.
Now, if you were to meet a womanwho is, you know, on the edge,
(29:41):
but not really sure of what iscoming for her, what would you
tell her?
On the edge of what?
Tell me.
Reinvention.
Like something that you knowmaking a huge shift like this,
right?
SPEAKER_01 (29:53):
Yeah, girl, it's so hard and it's so easy.
We make it so much harder.
Harder for ourselves.
So this is hilarious.
Not hilarious.
This is not hilarious at all.
This is interesting.
My jumping off, I call itjumping off, is so vivid to me.
(30:14):
This I knew the reinvention hadto happen, but I was so married
to my victimhood mentality whileI'm going through this personal
development.
I'm like, I'm always like, yes,all those things, but like still
my victimhood.
Yes, all these things.
I'm learning all these things,but still my story, right?
I was so attached to my story.
(30:36):
And like, whoa is me.
The reason my life sucks so badis because of all these
circumstances that happened tome.
And I'm never going to get towhere I ultimately want to be
because of all this shit thathappened to me.
It was so nerve-wracking to haveto jump from victimhood to
victor, right?
And my middle name is my name isSabrina Victoria, right?
My middle name is Victoria.
So it was like superinspirational for me.
(30:58):
And I would play out this storyin my life of like, because once
you learn enough, you can'tunlearn it.
That's what kind of sucks.
Like, I always tell people,like, in jest, but also like not
in jest, that like if you becareful because once you know a
certain amount, like, bruh, youcan't ever, it's almost more
(31:21):
depressing.
It's almost more depressing ifyou don't take it on.
Because then you know, and thenyou're still being a jackass.
Yeah.
They call that failure of theintellect, right?
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
So, anyways, to answer yourstory, you've got to you gotta
jump off.
There's two cliffs where you arenow, the story, the woe is me,
all the horrible things, andthen there's the new identity,
(31:44):
there's the new shift, there'sthe reinvention that Tina's
talking about that's happening.
And you gotta jump.
You have to physically jump fromone to the other, and you can't
ever go back because theprobability of you jumping back
and actually making it is realfucking low.
Yeah.
It's real low.
Yeah.
(32:04):
So once you jump, you gotta goall in.
You gotta shed it, you gottashed the stories, and you gotta
jump all in on the new identity.
But what you have to do beforethat is you have to start tippy
toeing into the story.
Start to get accolades on allthe goodness that's happening in
your life, right?
Really stepping into who you areand what you do.
(32:25):
Start saying I'm beautiful,start saying I'm smart, right?
One of the things that I starteddoing early on, my boyfriend
used to look at me like I wasfucking crazy.
But like one of the things thatI used to do to start growing my
um my self-love is I used tosay, I know everything.
Right.
So he'd say like littlesarcastic things when I did
something right.
He'd be like, Oh, look at you.
(32:46):
How do you know that?
How did you know that?
And then I would pipe back andI'd be like, because I know
everything.
I had to start telling myself, Ihad to start feeding myself.
I am beautiful, I am smart, Iknow everything.
Little itty, but notsignificant, but little things
to help me recognize and tellmyself internally that I am
capable.
And along with a few otherthings, right?
(33:08):
Which that's a whole notherpodcast, but be able to to to so
that I could be able to leap.
And when I leap, I'm there,right?
I'm on the journey of nowreinvention.
We're not going back to the oldstuff.
SPEAKER_02 (33:20):
Yeah, I love that.
I do that too.
Like sometimes I feel stupid,right?
Like my husband is super smart,and sometimes he'll say things
and I'm like, how the hell doeshe know all this stuff?
Right?
But then I remind myself, I knowthings too.
Yes, right?
Like I'm not an idiot, right?
Yeah, and I think that's what wehave to like tell ourselves.
We have to confirm to ourselvesthat we know things, we do hard
(33:45):
things, right?
It might not be the same hardthings that the neighbors is
doing, or I might not know whatthe my husband knows, but I do
know things.
So it's very important that weconfirm with ourselves who we
are, yeah, what we know, what wedo.
Yeah, I love that.
So, I mean, like you said, youstill you you you're still
(34:05):
going, you're you're not thereyet, and you may never get
there, right?
I mean, that's the reality ofpersonal development.
Um, but what what does yourfuture look like?
What is your, you know, I callit blooming.
What does your blooming looklike right now?
SPEAKER_01 (34:19):
Well, a lot of my um a lot of my vision is
concentrated a lot around mybusiness right now.
So I have huge goals for mybusiness as far as the
community, as far as thelocation, as far as um the
growth of the women within thecommunity, really concentrating
on their growth, their successto really help elevate right the
(34:40):
entire community as a whole.
Um, but yeah, I mean, we'regoing big into advertising, into
locations, into trainings,teaching, curriculum, and really
helping these women get to thenext level and creating a
community around that of womenwho are successful, women that
are powerful.
You know, one of the things thatmy abuser used to tell me all
the time is um he used to mockme and he'd be like, Do you have
(35:03):
any money?
Or whoever has all the money hasall the power.
She used to say, Whoever has allthe money has all the power.
Do you have any money?
And I had no money because hehad all the money.
So that was him justre-emphasizing, right?
You have no power.
You have no money, therefore youhave no power.
You're insignificant.
So that's something that'sreally stuck with me throughout
all these years, right?
So I'm really honed in on I wantthese women to be powerful.
(35:27):
You know, I want these women tohave a say.
I want these women to have achoice.
And in this world that we livein, that is connected to money,
right?
I want these women to createsuccess in their life so that
they have power, so that theyhave voice, so they have choice.
And that's really near and dearto me because that was something
that was really honed in or umnailed into me during that
(35:48):
relationship, right?
So seeking that for myself andseeking that for my ladies.
SPEAKER_02 (35:53):
I love that.
I, you know, and I think, youknow, it's really sad, but we
need to stick together.
Yeah.
Right?
We need to, as women, we need tocreate our own community so that
we're we are supported.
We are, you know, excuse me,when we need a hand or when we
need, you know, new habits tocreate, where do I go?
Like who can help me with this?
(36:14):
Right?
Yeah, I love that.
So where can people follow youor connect with you?
SPEAKER_01 (36:19):
My name.
My name is Sabrina Victoria, soSabrinaVictoria.com.
Um, and then that website leadsto all the other goodness, my
social media and all the otherthings that I do, the agency and
the community.
SPEAKER_02 (36:31):
I love it.
Well, thank you so much forjoining me and sharing your
story with us.
I think it was amazing.
It was like I'm totally amazedby your story and your growth.
So thank you very much.
Yes, thank you.
Thanks for listening toConfidence in Bloom, where we
celebrate the amazing,brilliant, and beautiful woman
you already are.
(36:51):
This season of Shift is yourinvitation to rise, reinvent,
and reconnect with the womanyou're becoming.
You don't need to look like asoup supermodel or a movie star.
Spoiler alert, they don't evenlook like that.
You are already enough, worthyof love, success, and a life
that feels as good as it looks.
We give so much love to everyoneelse.
(37:12):
It's time to pour some of thatlove back into you.
If you're ready to reclaim yourconfidence and step into your
next chapter, I'm offeringpersonalized coaching, three
focused sessions to help youbuild unshakable confidence,
define your personal brand, andcreate a signature style that
reflects who you truly are.
Because she comes in every shapeand size, and reinvention has no
(37:37):
expiration date.
Want to be a guest here onConfidence in Bloom?
Let's connect.
Find me on Instagram atInfobloom Styling, email Tina at
Infobloomstyling.com or visitthe Divas That Care Network
website.
So until next time, keepblooming boldly and confidently.
SPEAKER_00 (38:01):
Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of
course on divas that care.com,where you can subscribe to our
newsletter so you don't miss athing.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!