Kite Man vs Stilt-Man

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
This is a DynaMic Network podcast.

(00:24):
Hi and welcome to the Dynamic Duel Podcast,a weekly show where we review superhero films
and debate the superiority between Marvel andDC by comparing their characters and stat-based
battle simulations. I'm Marvelous Joe. And I'mhis twin brother Johnny DC. And in this episode
we're going to find out who would win in a fightbetween Kite Man and Stilt Man because I know

(00:45):
everybody is wondering who would win. I havebeen wondering about this for as long as...
A couple of months, ever since one of our executiveproducers, Mickey Methangean, thought up the
idea. It's a fantastic idea. I can't believewe haven't thought of it sooner, and I can't
wait to find out who's gonna win. Yeah, thisepisode is a tie-in to our next episode, which
is gonna be a review of Kite Man Hell Yeah Season1 on Macs. This should be a fun one though,

(01:09):
so look forward to that discussion later. Beforethat, we're gonna break down the latest comic
book movie news to come out this past week,including the Joker Follyadoo That's Life trailer.
As always, we list our segment times in ourepisode description, so feel free to check
out the show notes if you want to skip aheadto a particular topic. Guys, our artificially
intelligent duel simulator AJ9K has a quickmessage for our listeners, so listen up. Why

(01:35):
hello there, do you want even more from thispodcast? Then become a part of the dynamic
duel community on Patreon, where you can choosefrom three tiers. The dynamic two-oh tier gives
you access to our Discord chat server. The fantasticfour tier gives you two bonus episodes each
month, and the X-Force tier makes you an executiveproducer of this show. Lastly, The Diner Mike

(01:55):
podcast network tier lets you create your ownpodcast using this Monte Carlo simulator. Johnny
and Joe will help you develop your show, providegraphic support and consultation, and get you
simulation results. Pitch the twins your ideasvia email at dynamicduelpodcast at gmail.com.
Check it out at patreon.com slash dynamicduel.Pip pip cheerio. Thanks AJ9K and thanks to

(02:18):
everyone who supports the podcast. We want togive a quick shout out to one of our patrons,
Jacob Foster. Whose birthday was this past week?Happy birthday, Jacob. Happy birthday. If I
could give you any gift from Marvel, I wouldgive you Gambit's playing card deck because
even though you don't have mutant powers tomake them explode, you can still play cards
with them. So yeah, it's fun. If I could getyou anything from DC for your birthday, I would

(02:42):
get you Ragman's cloak because your handle inour Discord server is Hypnotic Cape and that's
pretty much a Hypnotic Cape. Happy birthdayagain, man, and thanks for being a patron.
Yeah, thanks a bunch. Be sure to tune into theother shows on the DynaMic Podcast Network
this week, including Max Destruction, whichpits your favorite action heroes from film

(03:04):
and television against each other. This week,hosts Scotty and Gilly are breaking down a
Robocop vs. Terminator matchup. On the SendYour World podcast, host Zachary Hepburn speculates
on fights between fan favorite anime and mangacharacters. This Thursday... Zach will find
out who would win in a fight between All Mightfrom My Hero Academia and Mash Bernadette from

(03:26):
Mashly. On the Console Combat podcast hostsJon and Dean simulate battles between popular
video game characters. In yesterday's episode,they released their first ever developer interview
with Andrew Magazoo, the co-creator of the upcominggame Vigilante Combat Round 1. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com
or click the link in our show notes to listento all of the shows in the DynaMic Podcast

(03:48):
Network. But with that out of the way, quickto the No Prize! A No Prize is an award Marvel
used to give out to fans. Our version, the DynamicDuel No Prize, is a digital award that we post
on Instagram for the person that we feel gavethe best answer to our question of the week.
Last week, we asked, Do you think this shouldor shouldn't be Eddie Brock's and Venom's last

(04:13):
appearance in Sony's Spider-Man universe, andwhy? And that was in reference to the Venom
The Last Dance movie. We got a lot of answers.Let's go ahead and break down our honorable
mentions as well as the no prize winner. Ourfirst honorable mention goes to Scott Camacho.
Who said? Probably channeling my twin brotherthrough me and the Marvel is coming out. This

(04:37):
should be their last appearance in the Sonyverse.Why? Because it's going nowhere. You guys want
him in... the Spider-Man and Disney side, right?So yeah, they should end their last dance and
hop over there. For sure, yeah. Similar to howSpider-Man allegedly kind of straddles between

(04:59):
the Sony Spider-Man universe and the MCU, eventhough that's not really the case because Spider-Man
only shows up in the MCU films, maybe Sony andMarvel can make a deal for Venom so that he
can also show up with the other MCU charactersand no longer be confined to this Sony verse
limbo that he's in. Yeah, otherwise like Scottysaid, it's leading nowhere. It does make sense

(05:21):
for Venom to be in the Spider-Man universe consideringhe's a Spider-Man character. I guess a good
question is what do you consider the Spider-Manuniverse? Well, the MCU, the universe that
the Spider-Man character exists in. Okay, okay.Great answer Scotty. Our next honorable mention
goes to Travis Herndon, who said... What's up,Dunnaamadoos? Travis here, shout out to my

(05:41):
evil twin. So my answer would be yes. Why? Becauseit's finally time for this man to come home.
Home. Eddie and Venom need to be in the MCU.Me and you. Everybody and their grandmas want
these two to be in the MCU. Finally meet Spider-Man.Team up with him. Fight him. We don't care.
It's time for this guy to leave the loser tableand come join and sit with the cool kids now.

(06:06):
If they made a fourth Venom movie. with TomHardy and brought him into the MCU. What do
you think the name of that movie should be called?Should it be called Venom Homecoming? Ha ha
ha. Venom, there's no place like home. Thatsounds a little bit more apt according to the
naming conventions that they've been going withfor this Venom Sony franchise. Just like dumb?
Yeah, exactly. Ha ha ha. Great answer, Travis.Our next honorable mention goes to Cyrus Moore.

(06:33):
Who said? Hey guys, Cyrus Moore here. Um, Ibelieve the only answer to this question is
yes. They are absolutely wasting Tom Hardy'stime. He needs to come back to DC where he'll
be treated with the love and care and respectof the world-class actor he is. Um, I mean,
obviously Sony doesn't know how to make a movie.Marvel would just waste his time. So he needs

(06:57):
to come back to DC already. Yeah. Tom Hardy'sturn as Bane was a tour de force. Like you
can make fun of it. But the fact that he wasable to pull that off and be almost unrecognizable
as he did it is just a testament to how solidof an actor he is. I was born in the shadows.

(07:21):
Yeah he was, yeah he was. I'm sure there area lot of roles that Tom Hardy could pull off
in the new DCU considering you know he's a biggerguy and he's a big name but I think a lot more
people would want him to come to the Marveluniverse just because people know that Marvel
is better. So no one knows that. Kevin Feigecould easily recast Eddie Brock for the MCU

(07:43):
so you don't know what you're talking about.Like fans would not even care. Well, who would
you cast Tom Hardy as in the DCU? Ooh, goodquestion. Would Tom Hardy make a good Constantine?
Oh shit, probably. Yeah, probably would. I couldsee that, totally. Just like a chain smoking
foul mouthed magician just to make his hairlike dirty blonde and messy. Totally, I could

(08:07):
see that. He gives off heavy vibes of like,don't give a fuck, you know? Yeah. That's actually
pretty solid. Great answer, Cyrus Moore. Wewant to give a quick shout out to Daniel Alonzo
for also taking the time to visit our websiteand record an answer. But the winner of this
week's No Prize is Mason Thompson. Who said?This is Mason Thompson again, you know, I just

(08:27):
gotta keep these answers going. Um, I do feellike he's a good actor for the thing he, for
the movie. He took a good funny approach toVenom, but I feel like he got dragged through
the mud in the second one. But it'd also becool to see him, whatever they do with the
Sonyverse. I feel like the Sonyverse is kindof in shambles. So I feel like if they get

(08:48):
rid of Venom, it's just going to go all downthe drain, you know. Yeah, Mason was the only
responder who said that maybe Venom and EddieBrock should stay in Sony's Spider-Man universe
and have another movie. We're not saying wenecessarily agree, but we did think that his
answer was unique in the argument that it gave.It's highly likely due to the deals that Sony

(09:09):
keeps making with Marvel. that Sony is goingto retain the rights for Spider-Man pretty
much indefinitely. So if the Sony Spider-Manuniverse is going to forever be a thing without
the Venom films, it'll likely fall into shambles.Is that something that we want? Yes, 100%,
absolutely. But is it something that is goodfor the superhero genre as a whole and will

(09:32):
it eventually lead to Sony selling the rightsto Marvel? Probably not. Yeah, there's still
always the option that Andrew Garfield couldcome in and be the Spider-Man for Tom Hardy.
You know, so I could see them continuing thisuniverse and not necessarily transferring Kim
to the MCU. And it could still end up good,like good in a way that fans feel is good.

(09:53):
At this point, anything still possible? We'llsee how Venom the Last Dance performs at the
box office and let the conjecture go from there.But congrats again to Mason Thompson for winning
this week's No Prize. If you the listener wanta shot at winning your own No Prize, stay tuned
to later on this episode when we'll be askinganother Question of the Week. And now that
that's done, on to the news!

(10:18):
Okay, this past week we got a new trailer forJoker Folly do the sequel to 2019's Joker film.
I'm not sure if this is the final trailer. Itprobably is since the movie comes out pretty
soon here in just a couple of weeks actually.I would consider this definitely to be a hey
tickets are now on sale. Here's where all thecritics are raving about type trailer. So yeah,

(10:42):
it's akin to a final trailer. And I thoughtit was a fantastic trailer. I liked this trailer.
more than the last trailer that we got. I wouldagree. Yeah. Actually, you know, what's interesting
is the first time I watched this trailer, Iwas at work and so I couldn't watch it with
the audio on. And it just struck me how powerfulall the images were. The cinematography on

(11:03):
this thing is so fantastic. Oh, yeah. And theshots were so compelling. I remember thinking
as I was watching it, it looks like it's goingto be really good. But I'm not holding my breath
because a lot of the reviews that have beencoming in since the review embargo has lifted
for the film have portrayed it as like a middlingmovie. Well, it's currently resting at a like

(11:26):
low 60s Rotten Tomatoes score with about 50reviews, but that doesn't really bother me
because the first Joker film is sitting in the60s for its Rotten Tomatoes score and a lot
of these reviews came out of the film's premiereat the Venice Film Festival where the first
film did fantastic, ended up taking the GoldenLion. The sequel didn't do as well, but I think

(11:46):
that was because it didn't meet the expectationsof a lot of critics in terms of what the film
actually was. Like it's being sold as this musical,but apparently it's barely a musical. So I
saw a lot of critics mentioning that. That doesn'tbother me. I know a lot of people have been
complaining about the musical aspect to beginwith. So, I don't know. I still think it's

(12:07):
going to be a really good film. I'm not sureif it's going to be as good as the first, but...
That Rot Tomato score does not scare me, especiallyafter a trailer like this. I feel like this
gives us a lot of Arthur Fleck as the Joker,more so than we've seen in previous trailers.
Like when he's talking to his friend on thewitness stand, when he's watching Kirby Dent

(12:29):
talk about him on the television, when he'sbeing carried up to his cell and he's like,
Oh, I'm in trouble. It's great to see JoaquinPhoenix play the role that got him an Oscar
the last time he portrayed the role. I thinkhe's going to do phenomenal. I think Lady Gaga
is going to do phenomenal. We get to hear hersing for the first time in this trailer. That's
life. And it's a great rendition. It almostsounds like Amy Winehouse. It's fantastic.

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But the thing that really sold me on this traileris actually the different blurbs that we get
to see from various reviews that have describedthe film in ways like cinematic dynaMic deranged
and exciting, a surreal work of art. It's like...Anytime these things popped up on screen, I'm
just like, yes, please. Yes, please. Hey, youthink that you'd be checking your expectations

(13:16):
by this point, though? You would think. Um,but it's the Joker. Like, I just watched the
first film again a couple of weeks ago and man,that film still holds up the cinematography,
the acting, the direction. It's so, so good.And I'm really looking forward to this movie.
Like I cannot be sold enough. I thought, andthen this trailer comes out and I'm like, I

(13:41):
could only be so sold, you know? The movie'snot gonna be, you know, Deadpool and Wolverine,
but I'm sure it'll be fine. We'll find out ina few weeks, I guess. I know, it's gonna be
nothing like that. It's gonna be way better,like a work of art, right? Deadpool and Wolverine
was like a work of art. Thank you very much.Yeah, for Marvel fans, go read the back of
a cereal box. Hey, you better watch yourselfthe way you talk to us, because the next thing

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you know, this movie's gonna bomb and we'reall gonna laugh at you and then slap the shit
out of you. But hey, if everyone's laughing...I mean, didn't the movie do its trick? No.
Okay. But considering the musical nature ofthis film and the fact that Lady Gaga has been
cast as Harley Quinn, and it seems to be a greatcasting choice, that brings us to our question

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of the week.
What musician would you cast as a live actionMarvel or DC character? And what character
would that be? Jared Leto as the Joker. Can'tdo that. You can't do Lady Gaga as Harley Quinn.
You have to do something original. No fuckingGavin Rosedale as some demon character or anything

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like that. Alright. Record your answer guysat dynamictool.com by clicking on the red microphone
button in the bottom right hand corner of thescreen, which will prompt you to leave us a
voicemail. Your message could be up to 30 secondslong, and don't forget to leave your name in
case we include you on the podcast. We'll pickour favorite answer and award that person a
Dynamic Duel No prize that we'll post to Instagram.Be sure to answer before September 28th.

(15:17):
But I think that does it for all the news forthis episode, so let's go ahead and get into
our main event, where we find out who wouldwin in a fight between the Batman villain,
Kite Man, and the Daredevil villain, Stilt Man.

(15:43):
Alright, Kite Man versus Stilt Man. This isa Batman villain versus a Daredevil villain.
And both of them are largely regarded as jokes,I think, within their respective comic book
universes. They're not very successful. They'rekind of known for being losers, but they kind
of have endearing qualities to them just inkind of like the ridiculous nature of their
powers, right? Kite Man uses fucking kites toperform acts of villainy. And Stilt Man walks

(16:08):
on fucking stilts. Like what the hell is goingon here? This is ridiculous, but I'm also here
for it. Yeah, the concepts that these characterschose to base their villainous theme on is
pretty ridiculous and absurd. But interestinglyenough, these two characters are kind of like
masters of the sky. So with that and the ridiculousnatures, I think this is a fantastic matchup

(16:32):
and one that I've been looking forward to doingever since the concept was first introduced.
I'm actually really glad that Kite Man endedup getting his own show. because otherwise
we may never have done this episode becausethese characters are just so ridiculous and
obscure. Yeah, we're kind of scratching thebottom of the barrel here, but I actually think
these characters are renowned for being likeD-listers, you know? Yeah, they're infamous.

(16:54):
Let's go ahead and get into their backstories.To explain the methodology behind our duels,
let's go to our sentient duel simulator, AlfredJarvis 9000. AJ9K, tell our listeners how you
go about determining a winner in our duel matchups.Yes, of course, sir. The way I determine a
winner between the contestants is by running1000 Monte Carlo simulations using the characters

(17:14):
statistics. A Monte Carlo simulation is a probabilisticmodel used to determine outcomes through random
sampling. In this case, I randomise the statisticsalong a normal distribution as a way to simulate
the many variables that can occur during battle.The stat parameters are based on the official
Marvel power grid from which the DC charactersstatistics are extrapolated.

(17:38):
damage potential, versatility and perceptionin order to create a more detailed and accurate
simulation. The results of the 1000 simulationsprovide a percentage of wins for each character.
The contestant with the higher percentage isdeclared the victor as they have a higher probability
to win any given battle. In an equitable pairing,neither character should win 100% of the matches.

(18:00):
The comic book stories have shown that there'seven a way for Batman to defeat Superman. So
the confidence rate of my method falls in linewith the precedents that have been established
in the source material. My mathematical simulationsare without subjectivity or bias. Feats are
not the sole consideration, nor are fan votestabulated for determination of the winner.
Thanks AJ9K! Before we run the simulations though,we like to break down each character's histories

(18:25):
and abilities before improvising a scenarioon how we imagine one of the 1000 simulations
would play out beat for beat. And I believeit's my turn to go first with the DC characters
backstory, so let me tell you all about KiteMan. The Charles Chuck Brown had a fascination
with kites from a young age. His childhood hobbyof flying kites soon evolved into an obsession,

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and as he grew older, his obsession began toshape his life in unexpected ways. Rather than
pursue a conventional career, Chuck turned tocrime. Using his love of kites and his knack
for engineering, He developed a series of specializedkite-themed weapons and gadgets, crafting an
identity that would strike fear, or at leastconfusion, into the hearts of Gotham citizens

(19:11):
as the criminal known as Kite Man. Bram designeda large kite that he strapped to his back,
allowing him to glide through the air and escapefrom crime scenes swiftly. Armed with a variety
of kites, from tear gas emitting kites to largekite planes, Chuck launched a crime spree across
Gotham City. by using tear gas released fromone of his kites to disorient security during

(19:35):
a high-profile robbery, during which he stolea valuable ruby. With this kite-themed technology,
he not only managed to evade the authorities,but also freed a mobster from prison using
the chaos he created to his advantage. In theprocess, he nearly killed Robin and managed
to capture Batman, solidifying his reputationas a legitimate threat to Gotham's heroes.

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However, despite his initial success, Kite Man'soverconfidence proved to be his downfall. After
leaving the mobsters to guard Batman, Kite Manreturned to find that Robin had managed to
free his mentor. In a swift turn of events,Batman and Robin used Kite Man's own weapons
against him, ultimately defeating him and bringinghim to justice. His kite plane, which had been

(20:22):
a key part of his escape plans, was later keptas a trophy in the Batcave, symbolizing Batman's
victory over the kite-obsessed criminal. Afterserving time in prison, Chuck wasted little
time resuming his criminal activities. Stilldedicated to his kite-centric theme, he launched
a new series of robberies, this time focusingon payroll heists. With his inventive use of

(20:44):
kites and glider wings, Kite Man was able toevade capture for some time. though his exploits
were once again thwarted by Gotham's vigilantprotector, Batman. Though his crimes may have
seemed outlandish, Chuck's ability to developnew Kite-based technologies continued to pose
a challenge for Gotham's law enforcement andheroes alike. Despite repeated defeats, Kite-Man's

(21:06):
determination never wavered. His criminal careereventually attracted the attention of heroes
beyond Gotham, as his antics became more daring.In one notable encounter, Kite Man set his
sights on a valuable treasure known as the GoldenEagle. During the heist, he was confronted
by Hawkman, Hawk Girl, and Zatanna, three ofDC's most formidable heroes. Who you could

(21:27):
learn more about in their respective duels againstWolverine, Gamora, and Scarlet Witch. Kite
Man's specialized kites gave him the upper handin mid-air combat for a brief period, but Zatanna's
magical abilities ultimately turned the tide.After a short battle, Kite Man was sent crashing
into a tree and was defeated. Kite Man's notorietygrew further when he relocated to Zandia, a

(21:53):
fictional country notorious for being a havenfor supervillains. The country allowed criminals
like him to operate with relative impunity,and Kite Man quickly ingratiated himself with
other villains living there. He even joinedZandia's supervillain sports team, where he
used his kite-based technology to contributeto their success. However, Kite Man's time
in Zandia was cut short when he became involvedin a conflict with a group of invading superheroes.

(22:18):
Despite his abilities, Kite Man was once againdefeated, further cementing his status as a
villain who couldn't quite reach the upper echelonsof criminal success. As the supervillain community
evolved, Chuck found himself increasingly onthe margins. During a major event in Gotham
City, Kite Man was approached by a group ofvillains looking to form a new criminal syndicate.

(22:39):
When Chuck refused to join their ranks, oneof Gotham's deadliest assassins, Deathstroke,
threw him off of a skyscraper. Although severelyinjured, Kite Man survived the fall, managing
to glide to safety using one of his emergencykites. However, his near-death experience marked
a turning point in his criminal career. Chuckattempted to reestablish himself in Gotham's

(23:03):
underworld, taking on smaller-scale heists andselling his custom-made kites to other criminals.
His status in the city's criminal hierarchycontinued to decline, and he never regained
the respect or fear he had once commanded. Eventually,Kite Man was captured alongside several other
low-ranking villains, including Sewer King,the Squid, and Mirage. The group was confronted

(23:25):
by inter-gang leader Bruno Mannheim, who soughtto consolidate his control over Gotham's criminal
operations. When Kite Man and the others refusedto bow to Mannheim's authority, they were brutally
executed. marking the apparent end of Chuck'scriminal career. But in post-Flashpoint continuity,
Charles Brown's origin was reimagined, and hischaracter was given a more tragic backstory.

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Now referred to as Charlie Brown, he was depictedas a divorced father and an alcoholic, struggling
to find his place in Gotham's underworld. Hislove for Kites had initially been a way to
bond with his young son, Charlie Jr., who onceexclaimed, Kite Man, hell yeah! in excitement

(24:08):
during their kite flying outings. However, whenChuck became involved in a war between the
Joker and the Riddler, his life took a darkturn. Caught in the crossfire of the two villains'
feud, Chuck was used by both sides as a pawn.The Riddler, wanting to hurt Chuck, poisoned
his son's favorite kites, leading to CharlieJr.'s tragic death. Devastated and consumed

(24:30):
by grief, Charlie fully embraced his criminalalter ego, Kite Man, as a way to seek revenge.
He sided with the Joker in the ongoing war,determined to bring down the Riddler for what
he had done. Throughout the conflict, Kite Man'sskills were put to the test, and while his
kites proved useful in battle, he was neverable to shake his status as a joke among Gotham's

(24:52):
villains. After the war concluded, Kite Mancontinued his criminal activities in Gotham,
though he never regained the level of recognitionhe once sought. Despite his tragic past and
repeated failures, Charlie remains a determinedcriminal, still using his kite-based gadgets,
sometimes in the aid of Batman, in the hopesof one day gaining the respect he believes

(25:13):
he deserves. Powers-wise, Kite-Man has no innatesuperhuman abilities, though he does have an
uncanny understanding of aerodynamics and hasengineered gliders and gadgets seemingly capable
of defying gravity and physics. His primaryengineering marvel is a spring-loaded, collapsible
jet-powered glider. He stores on his back thatgives him instantaneous accelerated lift. He's

(25:37):
also a master glider, capable of near impossibleacrobatics, acceleration and altitude. He has
also been known to carry small expandable kitesthat he can use as heavy projectiles or to
transport explosives or to lead trails of gasor other material. He also carries binoculars
and when the need arises, a straight up gunand he will bust a cap if necessary. Binoculars?

(26:05):
I guess he would need those. Yeah, to see farwhen he's high up in the sky. You had mentioned
at some point during your profile that he gotinto a fight with Hawkman and for some reason
gave Hawkman and Hawkgirl a hard time in theiraerial combat. Which doesn't make a fucking
lick of sense to me. That just makes Hawkmanand Hawkgirl look like they suck. Hey, it was
earlier, alright? This isn't like freakin' modernage comics here. Alright, alright. Well, uh...

(26:30):
I think you will be shocked at how many similaritiesthere are between Kite Man's backstory and
Stilt Man's. Let's hear it! Alrighty. Littleis known about Wilbur Day's early life, but
as an adult, he earned a PhD in mechanical engineering.He began working as a brilliant but frustrated
scientist at Caxton Laboratories under CarlCaxton, who had developed a hydraulic RAM device.

(26:52):
Feeling overlooked and underappreciated, Wilburdecided to steal Caxton's designs and use them
to engineer a suit of armor equipped with telescopichydraulic legs. This suit allowed him to tower
high above the ground, granting him an advantagein committing crimes and evading capture. With
this invention, Wilbur became the villain knownas Stiltman, using his new abilities to carry

(27:13):
out a string of robberies, largely from high-risesand helicopters. Wilbur sought to steal a molecular
condenser device, another one of Caxton's inventions,but he was opposed by Daredevil, the blind
vigilante of Hell's Kitchen. During their battle,Wilbur was accidentally struck by the condenser's
ray, shrinking him to microscopic size and sendinghim into a limbo-like dimension. After months

(27:36):
in the Microverse, Wilbur eventually returnedto Earth where he resumed his criminal career.
You can learn more about Daredevil in our Nightwingvs Daredevil episode. Constantly modifying
and improving his armor, Wilbur continued tobattle Daredevil as well as other heroes, including
Spider-Man and Captain America. His telescopiclegs were his greatest asset, allowing him

(27:56):
to extend close to 300 feet, which made hima difficult target for ground-based opponents.
However, despite numerous upgrades to his armor,including concussive blasters, gas dispensers,
and a machine gun, Stiltman was frequently defeated,leading to a reputation as an inept and persistent
criminal. For more about Spider-Man, check outour Blue Beetle vs. Spider-Man episode. One

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of Wilbur's more humiliating moments occurredwhen a small-time crook named Turk Barrett
stole his suit and began using it to commitpetty crimes. Angered by this audacity, Wilbur
contacted Daredevil secretly and revealed aweakness in his armor's auto-gyroscopes. With
this knowledge, Daredevil easily defeated Turkand returned the suit to its rightful owner.

(28:39):
After this embarrassing incident, Wilbur upgradedthe armor to ensure that no one else could
exploit its weaknesses. Stiltman's criminalventures took him across the country. In San
Francisco, he kidnapped his former boss CarlCaxton and his daughter to force Caxton into
recreating the molecular condenser, planningto use the device for a major heist. This time,
however, Wilbur was defeated by Daredevil andBlack Widow, who foiled his plans and rescued

(29:04):
Caxton. You can learn more about Black Widowin our Black Canary vs. Black Widow episode.
Despite these failures, Wilbur remained determinedto enhance his suit and reclaim his reputation.
He later upgraded his armor with secondary adamantium,courtesy of the villain Blastar, which made
the suit virtually indestructible. Feeling invincible,Stiltman even dared to challenge Thor, the

(29:24):
Norse god of thunder. However, the battle endedin defeat when Thor stripped him of his armor,
and had it melted down. Wilbur's career continuedto be a mix of minor successes and major defeats.
He was hired to kidnap Assistant District AttorneyMaxine Lavender, but failed when Daredevil
intervened. He also clashed with Black Goliathafter stealing advanced weaponry from the Trapster.

(29:45):
Using a teleportation gun, Stiltman managedto transport Black Goliath and his companions
to an alien planet, but he was ultimately defeatedand forced to flee. In an attempt to regain
his reputation, Stiltman broke into a factoryand created a new armor. During the battle
with Spider-Man that followed, Stiltman hada change of heart when Spider-Man saved his
life from a deadly sonic disruptor. Grateful,Wilbur returned the favor by sparing Spider-Man's

(30:09):
life and walking away from the fight. Despiteseveral attempts to leave his life of crime,
Wilbur always found himself returning to villainy.He joined forces with other supervillains,
including the Owl and Gladiator, in an attemptto take control of the Kingpin's criminal empire.
This plot was foiled by Daredevil and Spider-Man,and Wilbur's role in the Underworld was further
diminished. After a string of defeats and embarrassments,including a battle against Iron Man during

(30:33):
the Armour Wars where he was quickly knockedout, Wilbur decided to retire. He visited the
law offices of Nelson and Murdock, declaringhis intention to leave behind his criminal
identity. He left his armor and suitcase onMatt Murdock's desk and stormed out, feeling
paranoid accusations that Murdock was the realKingpin. During the Superhuman Registration
Act, Wilbur saw a chance for redemption. Hesigned up with the government and was outfitted

(30:57):
with a new suit of armor, this time to serveas law enforcement during the ensuing conflict
between heroes. However, Wilbur's attempt atbecoming a reformed hero ended tragically.
While tracking a child pornographer, Wilburcrossed paths with the Punisher, who saw him
as a criminal beyond redemption. The Punisherused an anti-tank missile to destroy Wilbur's
legs and then shot him point-blank, killinghim instantly. You can learn more about the

(31:20):
Punisher in our Punisher vs. Red Hood episode.Wilbur's death sparked a wake at the bar with
no name, attended by many of his fellow villains.The gathering devolved into chaos when the
Punisher, disguised as the bartender, poisonedthe drinks and blew up the bar in an attempt
to kill everyone inside. However, Wilbur's storydidn't end there. He was later resurrected
by the Jackal, a geneticist who specializedin cloning and reviving deceased villains.

(31:45):
Stiltman, along with several other reanimatedcriminals, was sent out by the Jackal to pursue
Spider-Man. Those actions during this periodwere largely unsuccessful, Wilbur's legacy
lived on through successors like Lady Stiltmanand his brief return to criminal life. Did
you just say Lady Stiltman? It's not Stilt Woman?Yeah, I have no idea why. Her name is Lady

(32:07):
Stiltman. Wow. Powers-wise, Stiltman's abilitiescome entirely from his suit of powered armor.
The armor gives him enhanced strength and durability,allowing him to lift heavy objects nearly a
ton in weight, punch through walls, and withstandgunfire and attacks from superheroes. His legs
are capable of extending nearly 300 feet, givinghim an unparalleled advantage in height and

(32:29):
allowing him to step over buildings or crushvehicles beneath them with swift hydraulic
force. He can extend or shrink his legs andhis arms almost instantaneously, giving him
incredible punching and kicking power. Stiltman'sbattle suit also comes equipped with various
weapons, including a concussive blaster, gasgrenades, and a machine gun attached to his
wrist. He can also grease his stilts to preventanyone from climbing up them. Finally, Stiltman

(32:54):
is a skilled mechanical engineer, having builtand improved most of the components of his
armor. And that's Stiltman. So you're tellingme one of his villainous tools is lube? Yeah,
yep. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. There was a storythat I read in the comics where he basically
tried to franchise out his stilt technologyand sell his stilts to other villains. But

(33:15):
they all basically died in battle or got captured.And so he just made everyone else a loser.
It was pretty funny. That's just like Kite Manwhen he was selling his kites. Yeah. Can Stiltman
extend his arms as far as his legs? That's unknown.I couldn't quite figure that out. He can extend
his arms. I don't know if he could go as faras 300 feet, though. It's possible. 300 feet.

(33:37):
So that's like 30 stories tall. Yeah, about.Yeah. OK. Well, this is going to be a really
interesting match. It's time to find out whorules the skyways.
where fantasies collide and heroes clash, onepodcast network rises above the rest. Prepare

(34:00):
yourself for the ultimate showdowns in comicbooks, video games, movies, and anime. The
Dynomic Podcast Network presents Console Combat,where video game legends brawl every Monday.
Dynamic Podcast Network. Comic Book Titans smashevery Tuesday. Max Destruction, where TV and
action heroes battle every Wednesday. And SendroWorld, where anime champions clash every Thursday.

(34:25):
Join us as we speculate on the matches and armedwith the power of mathematical simulations,
discover who will emerge victorious. Visit dynamicpodcast.comwhere we settle the debate and settle the score.
Now that we got their histories and abilitiesout of the way, we're going to speculate on
how one of the 1000 simulated matches will go.The winner is determined by simulations, not

(34:50):
our speculation, but it's fun to imagine howthis fight could play out. AJ9K, what are the
rules of our speculation? Well, I should saythere are no rules other than the characters
have no prior knowledge of the other going intothe fight. All they are aware of starting out
is that the other character is a threat thatneeds to be eliminated. For the speculation...
The contestants will begin approximately 50meters apart in a nondescript environment that

(35:15):
will have no bearing on the match itself, asno environmental statistics are considered
in my simulations. The contestants must earnvictory on their own merit. Alright then, let's
get into it. Kite Man and Stilt Man meet onthe battlefield. Who goes first? I'm going
to say Kite Man starts off by expanding hiskite glider and just rocketing straight up

(35:36):
into the air. Okay, I can tell you right now,no matter how fast KiteMan can gain elevation
with his kite, it's not gonna be faster thanStiltMan, who can get up to his peak altitude
in seconds. Dude, KiteMan can ascend fast enoughto knock people unconscious from the speed.
And StiltMan can grow fast enough to smash throughceilings. Okay, whatever. So as KiteMan is

(35:59):
flying up, all of a sudden he sees StiltManjust rocket past him to get the high ground.
And while... Stiltman is towering above KiteMan. Stiltman stretches down one of his arms
and just punches a hole in Kite Man's glider,causing Kite Man to spiral back down to Earth.
Dude, this kite isn't made of like paper. It'sactually pretty durable. So there's no hole

(36:20):
in it. It's just going to, you know, knock KiteMan into a spiral, but he's going to be spiraling
upward. So as he's twisting around Stiltman,you know, gaining altitude, he's going to wrap.
up Stiltman's legs with this kite string that'sgoing to trip Stiltman up and cause him to
fall. And from that height, dude's basicallydead, right? No, his armor is durable enough

(36:44):
to protect him from falls from that height.But like, what is this kite string made out
of? Because I'm pretty sure Stiltman can justsnap that string by taking a step with his
durable metal legs. It's not cotton, I can tellyou that. Okay. It's probably, you know, some
durable metallic thread that he uses to likeweave his kites or something. Okay, so, Stiltman's

(37:07):
legs are wrapped up, but to keep from falling,Stiltman is gonna fully retract one of his
legs from the ground, causing it to slip outof the kite string, okay? So he's balancing
with one leg, and with his one leg free, he'sgonna point his foot right at Kite Man, and
extend it, just kicking Kite Man right in theface. Dink, okay. So Kite Man, you know, his

(37:28):
eyes are probably pretty blurry from gettingkicked in the face. So by the time he regains
his sight, it's too late. He's going to crashstraight into Stiltman's one standing leg.
But this is going to work to Kite Man's advantagebecause the impact is going to knock Stiltman
over for real this time. OK, well, if Kite Manjust crashed into Stiltman's legs, you know,

(37:52):
Kite Man's going to be creening through theair and Stiltman, you know, he's toppling over.
So they're both probably just like, fuck. So.Stiltman is gonna regain his footing by extending
his other leg just to catch himself. I'm guessingKite Man is gonna find a way to correct his
trajectory. But at this point, Stiltman is gonnaactivate his wrist-mounted machine gun and

(38:15):
just start blasting Kite Man with a hail ofbullets. Okay, well, Kite Man is gonna dodge
these bullets by flipping and zipping throughthe air. And as he's doing that, he's gonna
leave a trail of small kites. that sail up toStiltman's body. And by the time Stiltman even
notices them, they're close enough so that whenthey detonate explosively, because they were

(38:38):
bomb kites, it's going to rock him so hard,it's going to topple him to the ground once
again. Except Stiltman did see the explosivekites, and he was able to shoot them out of
the air with his machine gun before they gottoo close for him to really hurt him. Joke's
on you then, because those kites were distractions,and apparently they worked. Because while Stiltman

(38:59):
is busy shooting those kites, Kite Man's gonnazip past Stiltman's head with a kite string
tied in a noose that's gonna wrap around Stiltman'sneck, and Stiltman's just gonna get yanked
real hard, straight up into the stratosphere,like way higher than he's used to. And between
the noose and because he's not used to thatlow oxygen up there, Stiltman's gonna pass

(39:22):
out. Well, first of all, Stiltman's battle suithas a respirator. So he can breathe in high
elevations, that's fine. He is probably gettingchoked out. But before that can happen, as
he's being carried up into the air, he's gonnathrow a grenade that's gonna explode next to
Kite Man. It's a sleeping gas grenade. It'sgonna put Kite Man to sleep, forcing him to

(39:43):
drop the noose. And now they're both just fallingfrom the stratosphere down to earth. Nah, Stilt
Man is falling. Kite Man is gently gliding whileasleep. Ha ha ha, all right. Uh, Stiltman is
gonna save himself from the fall by extendinghis stilts and using them like shock springs.

(40:04):
Okay? And then he's gonna start running afterKite Man using his stilts because Kite Man's
asleep at the wheel flying away, but Stiltmancatches up to him with these huge giant strides
and then he extends his arms to land a devastatinghammer blow punch. that just knocks Kite Man
out of the air for good with strong hydraulicforce. Well, actually, Kite Man, you know,

(40:29):
he's floated long enough that by the time StiltMan reaches him, he's already woken up. And
so he's able to dodge Stilt Man's attack. Andsince a hammer blow punch involves, you know,
both hands being interlocked, Kite Man's goingto quickly lasso those fists together with
kite string attached to this antenna like kitethat's just going to rocket into the atmosphere.

(40:51):
and it's going to get struck by lightning, whichis going to send electricity surging through
still a man's metallic suit, just electrocutinghim and frank him to a crisp while also teaching
him in his last moments. The same lesson thatBenjamin Franklin learned all those years ago.
You don't fuck with kites. What is it rainingor something? What the fuck? Like, what kind
of environmental bullshit is that? Why is therelightning all of a sudden? It was an ionized

(41:16):
kite designed to attract lightning. Duh. Anionized kite. I'm calling bullshit. But either
way, Stiltman can detach any part of his stiltsor arms if they get trapped. So the only thing
that Kite Man electrocuted was this pair ofmetal arms. And that is when Stiltman is going
to whip out his concussive blaster pistol andjust blast off Kite Man's kite entirely and

(41:41):
Kite Man falls to his death. Oh no no, KiteMan has emergency parachute kites that will
deploy automatically if he's falling too fast.Fine, those get blasted too. What else does
Kite Man have that'll save him? Uh, I mean,he has those get blasted to everything gets
blasted. Kite Man dies. I don't actually thinkhe has anything else anyway, but I'm going

(42:03):
to say that, uh, electricity just moves waytoo fast, bro. There's no way still man disengages
his arms fast enough to escape the lightning,but it also takes time for lighting to develop.
So yeah, still man had plenty of time. Sorry.I guess we'll leave it there. Either Stiltman
gets electrocuted via a kite and lightning,or Kite Man essentially just falls to his death

(42:28):
after his kite and all of his emergency parachutesget blasted away. We'll go ahead and leave
the match there. Let's find out which of thesescenarios happens by running the simulations
for these characters and coming back with awinner. AJ9K, hit it. Inputting data, running
calculations, processing results, simulationscomplete. All right, that was a fun match.

(42:50):
When I came to figuring out the statistics foreach of these characters, I was actually pretty
surprised at how often they came out as equalsin some of these categories. Like I thought
Kite Man was gonna be faster than Stilt Man,but it turns out Stilt Man can move pretty
quickly when his legs are really long. Yeah,he also gains altitude really quickly too.

(43:10):
It's interesting that both of these characters,their whole MO is about the aerial advantage,
right? But they both approach it in very differentways. Like Kite Man, he's all about projectiles
and like his trick kites and stuff like that.Whereas Stilt Man is more about like strength
and durability, you know? Yeah, and becauseof that, obviously Stilt Man came out on top

(43:31):
in the stats of durability and strength, butKite Man came out on top in terms of versatility
and range, thanks to all of his trick kites.And what was really stupid is that Kite Man
got the edge in perception because he has thosebinoculars. That's right. You think that Stiltman
would have binoculars, too, or something likethat, to enhance his perception. He doesn't

(43:53):
need him because he's still, for the most part,about close quarters combat. Right. Exactly.
Yeah, he's a lot more physical than Kite Man,for sure. We said that they were pretty much
dead even when it came to intelligence. They're,you know, pretty much experts in their respective
fields. But when it came to damage level, still,man, it was just slightly ahead of Kite Man,
which I also thought was surprising. For themost part, these guys are all about you know,

(44:16):
using explosives and various gases. But there'ssomething to be said when you could literally
stop on a car. Yeah. Or punch through a wall,you know. But taking all of these stats into
consideration, Joseph, who do you think? Youknow, you don't even need to ask before you
even finish your question. It's still man. It'sgoing to be still man. I will finish. I was

(44:37):
going to ask who you thought was going to lose.You think you think I was going to lose. All
right. I think I'm going to lose and still man'sgoing to win. And I think our Instagram followers
misunderstood the question too, because 59%of them are siding with Kite Man. And there's
no way that's right. I mean, the guy does havehis own animated series. Just Stilt Man? Is

(44:58):
he cool enough for that? Nope. Well, a versionof Stilt Man was in the Daredevil Netflix show,
Turk. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot aboutthat. But he never used the stilts in that
show. So, yeah, probably for the best. But let'sfind out the results of this week's match.
AJ 9K, the results, please. Hey, you are, sir.The winner of the matchup between Kite Man

(45:23):
and Stilt Man is Stilt Man. Before you evengive the answer, it's going to be Stilt Man.
I already know it. I meant loser. So you thinkthe loser is going to be Stilt Man? Yeah, Stilt
Man is the winner of this matchup. He won sixhundred and ninety three of the 1000 matches.

(45:44):
or 63.9% compared to Kite Man's 36.1%. Thatsucked, I'm not gonna lie. I was really looking
forward to winning this matchup so I could justbe like, hell yeah. Well, let's all hear your
best hell no. Hell no. I know exactly what thatfeels like every time Marvel loses a match.

(46:08):
That's what I say inside. It feels so nice tobe able to say though that KiteMan is the bigger
loser out of these two. That's depressing. Idon't know, maybe it's fitting. Maybe he was
destined for this. This is just the kind ofluck that KiteMan would have. And this would
be the first time that Stiltman has accomplishedanything, really. So that's interesting. But

(46:32):
that does it for this duel, guys. AG9K, helpclose this out. Thanks for listening to Dynamic
duel. Visit the show's website at dynamicduel.comand follow us on Instagram at dynamicduelpodcast.
You can support the show on Patreon at patreon.comslash dynamicduel and joining a tier that works
for you, or by rating and reviewing Dynamicduel on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser

(46:56):
or on our website. Don't forget to listen tothe other shows in the DynaMic Podcast Network,
including Max Destruction, Senjow World andConsole Combat. Our next episode is a tie-in
to this episode, we're gonna be reviewing KiteMan Hell Yeah Season 1. It's of course a spin-off
of Harley Quinn, which is a show that both Jonathanand I love, so hopefully Kite Man Hell Yeah

(47:20):
meets that standard. But that does it for thisepisode, we want to give a big thanks to our
executive producers Ken Johnson, John Sierowski,Zachary Hepburn, Dustin Belcombe, Miggy Montagueyan,
Brendan Austin Wyselowski, AJ Dunkerley, ScottCamacho, Gil Camacho, Adam Spies, Andrew Shunk,
Dean Molesky, Devin Davis, Joseph Kirsting,and Josh Leiner for helping make this podcast

(47:43):
possible. We'll talk to you guys next week.Up up and away, true believers. Here is my
best hell no. Hells no.

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