Parasite vs Sauron

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is a DynaMic Network Podcast. Alright guys,the clock is ticking, the holidays are just weeks

(00:07):
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(00:36):
That's D-U-E-L at OldGlory.com because evensuperheroes can't stop the holiday countdown.

(01:04):
Hi, welcome to the DynaMic Duel Podcast, a weeklyshow where we review superhero films and debate
the superiority between Marvel and DC bycomparing their characters in stat-based battle
simulations. I'm Marvelist Joe. And I'm his twinbrother Johnny DC. And in the countdown to the
final episodes of this podcast, we're at number 6,that means there are 5 episodes left after this

(01:25):
one. Which is Parasite versus Sauron, theSuperman villain against the X-Men villain?
Yeah, he's basically a pterodactyl man who livesin the savage land and also, like Parasite, has the
ability to drain the life energy from his victimsthrough contact. Yeah, you mentioned last
episode that it was a crime that we had not yetgotten to a Shadowcat duel. It is an even bigger

(01:49):
crime that it took us so long to get to a Parasiteduel. He's like one of Superman's biggest
villains. Nah, to me that's more like amisdemeanor, whereas not getting to Kitty Pride
was basically a felony on behalf of the show. Wellnot getting to Parasite is a felony with a higher
sentencing, I don't know. Before we get into thatmatchup guys, where we input the character stats
and run simulations to find out who would win,we're going to break down the latest comic book

(02:11):
movie news that came out this past week, of which wehave one news item and that is the Supergirl
official teaser trailer. As always, we list oursegment of times in our episode description, so
feel free to check out the show notes if you want toskip ahead to a particular topic. Our
artificially intelligent duel simulator, AJ9K,has a quick message for our listeners, so listen

(02:31):
up. Hello, these are the final episodes of DynamicJules Weekly Podcast, leading up to our grand
finale on January 20th. We hope you've enjoyed thepast 10 years of Marvel and DC Jules and reviews,
and we'd love for you to stick with us as we countdown these last episodes. We're inviting you, the
listener, to help us close out the show by visitingdynamicjule.com over the next few weeks and

(02:55):
clicking the red microphone button in the bottomright corner to leave us a voicemail that we'll
play during the final episode. Tell us what firstgot you into DC or Marvel, how long you've been
listening, a favorite episode or moment, oranything else you want to share about what the
podcast has meant to you. Your messages will beaired and responded to on the January 20th finale.
Again, head to dynamicjule.com and leave yourfinal message. We would love to hear from you. Pip

(03:21):
Pip Cheerio. Thanks, AJ9K, and thanks to everyonewho takes the time to call in and leave a voicemail.
Be sure to tune into the other shows and theDynamite Podcast Network this week, including
the console combat podcast, where hosts John andDean simulate battles between popular video game
characters. In yesterday's episode, they foundout who would win between Lancer Big Daddy from

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Bioshock and Paladin Dance from Fallout. Over onthe Max Destruction Podcast, hosts Scotty and
Gilly pit your favorite action heroes from filmand television against each other. On Thursday,
the Macho Twins are learning who would win in afight between Dex from Predator Badlands and the
Mandalorian. And on the Sanjo World Podcast, hostZachary Hepburn speculates on fights between fan

(04:07):
favorite anime and manga characters. In his nextepisode, Zach is revealing who would win between
Shigio Kageyama, aka Mob, from Mob Psycho 100, andTatsumaki, the tornado of terror from One Punch
Man. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com or click the linkin our show notes to listen to all of the shows in the
Dynamite Podcast Network. But now that that'sdone, on to the news. OK, so last week, DC unveiled

(04:38):
the official teaser trailer for the Supergirlfilm, which is coming out June 26th next year. Of
course, we saw Supergirl at the very end of theSuperman movie that came earlier this summer. She
took crypto with her at the end of the movie, and nowshe's going to have her own adventure. Crypto
kicks off this trailer, which is nice to seebecause I was a huge fan of the character in the

(05:00):
Superman movie. What was not nice to see was howfilthy the living condition Supergirl lives in
is. Dog piss and alcohol all over the floor. Bitch,you nasty. Yeah, I can smell it through the screen
almost. It's not pleasant, but that's hercharacter, right? She's kind of depressed. Yeah,

(05:21):
and the women of tomorrow graphic novel, she isdepressed, having lost crypto and having
witnessed the loss of it, which we partly see inthis trailer as the city that she lived in erects a
force field to protect the city. It doesn't fullywork. I think the ground shielding didn't protect
them from the radiation. But the line that Ruthieasks when what was it like to lose everything in a

(05:43):
day and Supergirl responds with Krypton didn'tdie in a day. The gods aren't that kind. It was
actually a line from the comic, and I really likedthe way that Millie Alcock delivered it here.
She's going to do a pretty good job as Supergirl. Ifeel like especially this version of Supergirl,
who again is depressed and just kind of trying tofight it back with alcoholism, essentially, when

(06:04):
she's celebrating her 23rd birthday and sayingit's going to be the best yet, although that's not a
hard bar to clear. You really felt it in herperformance. Yeah, I think she's going to do
better with the drama in the role, better than theaction, I think. Although, you know,
Kryptonians, they don't need to be buff. It's notwhere they get their strength from. I think my
issue with Millie Alcock is just how she's sellingthe action more than do I believe she's actually

(06:28):
doing this stuff? Oh, I'm not even going todisagree with you. Like when she's going up
against the guys in that bar brawl with like theaxe, it wasn't really convincing that she was
going to be able to take them, especially since itappeared they were able to match her strength
wise. And then at the very end, when she's likepulling on that machine connected to a cable, I was

(06:48):
like, I don't think you quite sold that there.Well, I think maybe that was a special effects
issue at the end there because centrifugal forcedoesn't work that way. Like the string would have
to be taught going straight out in order for her tomaintain that swinging momentum. It was just
strange. Right. Yeah. Like physics wise, shewould just be pulling that piece of machinery

(07:09):
toward her and not in an arc. Exactly. I think it'sjust hard for people to believe that this
character has the strength to swing a battle axewith one arm when it looks like the actress is
struggling to do that herself. I'm guessing themore physical stuff will be done with CGI. And of
course, there's always her powers like heatvision, which we get to see in this trailer, along
with characters like Kram of the Yellow Hills, whois the villain of this movie. And Lobo, played by

(07:35):
Jason Momoa. We don't get a good look at him. Butfrom what we do see, holy shit, he's going to nail
this. He was born to play this role. Yeah, it wasjust a brief glimpse, but it looks spot on.
Regarding the look of the movie as a whole,Jonathan, how do you feel about DC straight up
Xeroxing Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy? Andthey're not doing anything with it anymore. May as

(07:57):
well continue the franchise over at DC. I mean, Iwas actually really surprised as to how much this
looked like Guardians of the Galaxy, consideringthe fact it's not directed by James Gunn. It's
directed by Craig Gillespie, who also directedfilms like I Tania and Corella, which I thought
were great movies. Well, it's just confusing mebecause when I look at the Woman of Tomorrow comic,

(08:20):
it's a gorgeous looking book. It's very colorful,very organic looking alien worlds, almost pastel
in its color palette. This is not that. These arestraight up reused Guardians of the Galaxy sets.
That wouldn't surprise me. I'm guessing thedirector, maybe at the behest of James Gunn,
wanted to make it look more like a James Gunn movieso that it looks like it fit more with the world that

(08:44):
the Superman movie established, as opposed tolooking more like the comic, which is very alien,
very organic, very colorful, like you mentioned.Well, does that mean that every DCU project in live
action is going to have to look like James Gunn madeit? Like, is the upcoming Clayface movie going to
be like Slyther or something like that? Oh, dude, Ihope so. You just sold me on that. I guess I was the

(09:07):
wrong comparison. All in all, I think this was agood teaser, not the best teaser I've ever seen by
any means. But it was enough, I think, to get peopleexcited. And honestly, I can't wait to see
people's reactions and theaters to this. Rightnow, I only know my reaction and like my daughters.

(09:28):
They're excited. I'm excited. So when you say thatthis teaser was enough to get people excited, are
you referring specifically to just you and yourdaughters? Because I don't know anybody else
who's excited by this. Not even people on thediscord got excited by this. There was like zero
conversation about it. To be fair, I was in thehospital the day this came out. So I would have been

(09:48):
talking about it a lot. Why are you giving us yourexcuses? Because I was in pain in the ER. Again, why
are you giving us your excuses? Because I have themto give. Well, you're out of the hospital within
like a day. So maybe you should be talking aboutthis on the discord. It's also been my daughter's
birthdays for the past two days. Oh, my God, so manyexcuses. Yeah, bro. Yeah. You can't judge the

(10:14):
success of a trailer based on how many people aretalking about it in our own podcasts discord. I've
seen plenty of discussion online about it. Most ofit is good. Like I said, no one thinks this is the
greatest teaser trailer of all time, but it'spassable. All right. It's like a B minus. That's DC
for you. That's DC. I can't wait for the newAvengers Doomsday teasers that are coming to

(10:37):
theaters. Apparently there's going to be fourdifferent teasers and they're all going to be
attached in front of Avatar, Fire and Ash intheaters. Are you serious? I did not know that. So
it looks like I'm going to go see Avatar four timesin theaters and hope I get to see each one. You're
going to have to go to like four differenttheaters. I don't know, man. It's kind of
bullshit. That reeks of desperation, I must say.For Avatar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant.

(11:02):
Yeah. I'll just wait till it's all online. Well,we'll see if that happens. Maybe it'll be recorded
by somebody on their phone or something. Whoknows? It better be. When is Avengers coming out
next December? OK, well, I imagine the teaser forthat is going to be super, super short compared to
this one. Yeah. Of course, Supergirl again, comesout next summer on June 26th. So look forward to our

(11:24):
review of it then. Right, because it'll come outafter this podcast ends, but we're still going to
be reviewing new films when they come out. That'sright. But that does it for all the news for this
episode. So let's go ahead and move into our mainevent where we find out who would win in a fight

(11:44):
between the Superman villain, Parasite and theX-Men villain, Sauron. All right, Parasite

(12:05):
versus Sauron, these are both parasitic beings,obviously. I mean, the guy's name is Parasite, but
in the sense that they absorb or siphon life energyfrom their victims, it makes them stronger and
Sauron that manifests differently, I think, thanlike someone like Rogue or Parasite, because
although Sauron can obtain the mutant powers ofpeople he siphons life energy from, largely, it

(12:28):
gives him the ability to like shoot out the energyhe absorbs in the form of like thermal energy,
which is pretty unique. Oh, like lasers? No, likeit looks more like electricity that comes from his
hands or fire from his mouth. Interesting. I didnot know that. Actually, I don't really know
anything about Sauron. He's a pretty dopevillain. Like out of all the characters from the

(12:49):
Savage Land that we could have gone with, I guess weprobably should have gone with Khazar or K-Zar,
however you want to pronounce it. But in the end,I'm glad we went with Sauron, largely because what
defines the Savage Land are its dinosaurs, itsprehistoric life. And also, he's probably just
the biggest badass. That's like not human to comeout of there. Yeah, for a while we were considering
pitting Khazar or Khazar against either Warlordor Commandy, which I think would have been cool.

(13:15):
That would have been cool. This is better. Yeah, ifwe never did a Parasite duel in these 10 years, I
would have been really pissed off. We would havefailed as a podcast. Pretty much, pretty much. I
think there are many versions of Parasite thathave existed. So I'll be interested in seeing
which one you go with. It'll be Rudy Jones. He's theprimary one, I would say. Although, I'll go into
the backstory of a few others. OK. The movieadaptation of this guy was very confusing, I have

(13:40):
to say. But also hella good, am I right? Before weget into their backstories to explain the
methodology behind our duels, let's go to oursentient duel simulator Alfred Jarvis 9000. AJ9K
tell our listeners how you go about determining awinner in our duel matchups. Yes, of course, sir.
The way I determine a winner between thecontestants is by running 1000 Monte Carlo

(14:01):
simulations using the characters statistics. AMonte Carlo simulation is a probabilistic model
used to determine outcomes through randomsampling. In this case, I randomize the
statistics along a normal distribution as a way tosimulate the many variables that can occur during
battle. The stat parameters are based on theofficial Marvel power grid from which the DC
characters statistics are extrapolated.Additional stat categories are included such as

(14:25):
range, damage potential, versatility andperception in order to create a more detailed and
accurate simulation. The results of the 1000simulations provide a percentage of wins for each
character. The contestant with the higherpercentage is declared the victor as they have a
higher probability to win any given battle. In anequitable pairing, neither character should win

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100% of the matches. The comic book stories haveshown that there's even a way for Batman to defeat
Superman. So the confidence rate of my methodfalls in line with the precedents that have been
established in the source material. Mymathematical simulations are without
subjectivity or bias. Feats are not the soleconsideration, nor a fan vote is tabulated for
determination of the winner. Thanks, AJ9K.Before we run the simulations, though, we like to

(15:11):
break down each character's histories andabilities before improvising a scenario on how we
imagine one of the 1000 simulations would play outbeat for beat. And I believe it's my turn to go first
with the Marvel character backstory. So let metell you all about Sauron. Millions of years ago,
in the era of dinosaurs and the supercontinentPangea, an alien race called the New Wally

(15:33):
constructed a refuge for Earth's prehistoriclife in what is now Antarctica. When an asteroid
impact wiped out most of dinosaur life, thispreserve remained protected, allowing its
ancient species to survive unchanged. Over time,shifting geological land masses and glaciation
formed an enormous crater that concealed whatcame to be known as the Savageland. Spanning 350

(15:58):
square miles, its sheer icy walls isolated thetropical basin from the frozen continent around
it, hiding the region for millennia, exceptthrough secret tunnels, though pockets of early
man did stumble upon the Savageland, becoming itsnative inhabitants. In modern times, Carl Lycos
was born the son of an explorer and spent his earlyyouth accompanying his father on expeditions. As

(16:22):
a teenager, he joined his father on a journey toTierra del Fuego, an archipelago at South
America's southernmost tip. There, theyassisted a wealthy client, Dr. Anderson and his
daughter, Tanya. During his expedition, Tanyawandered into a cave and was attacked by mutant
pterodactyls that originated from theprehistoric Savageland. Carl intervened,

(16:43):
driving the creatures off with his walking stick,but in the struggle, he was bitten. Dr. Anderson
saved Carl's life, but the wound left him changed.During his recovery, Carl discovered that he
could drain the life force of living beingsthrough touch, accidentally killing his dog. The
need for this life energy became persistent, andin secret, he found himself periodically

(17:04):
compelled to extract it from animals to survive.After Carl's father died shortly after the
expedition, Dr. Anderson took him into his home asthanks for saving Tanya. Over the years, Carl and
Tanya grew close, but her father forbade arelationship due to Carl's lack of wealth,
determined to win his approval. Carl pursuedmedical training and became a physician,

(17:26):
geneticist and hypnotherapist. He treatedpatients with hypnosis while secretly siphoning
their energy, rationalizing that he took onlyenough to weaken, never to kill. During this
period, he collaborated with Professor CharlesXavier, who became aware of Carl's condition, but
kept his secret. When Havoc was nearly killedafter losing control of his powers in a battle with

(17:47):
sentinels, the X-Men brought him to Carl'sManhattan practice, believing him trustworthy
due to Xavier's association. You can learn moreabout Havoc and the X-Men in their respective
duels against the Ray and the Titans. Whiletreating Havoc, Carl siphoned part of his life
force, but absorbing mutant energy triggered anunprecedented transformation. He mutated into a

(18:09):
half humanoid pterodactyl with humanintelligence and powerful hypnotic abilities.
Shocked, he attacked the X-Men before escaping toDr. Anderson's home in an attempt to plead for
Tanya's hand in marriage. However, Tanya and herfather recognized Carl for the monster he had
become, forcing him to flee. Carl returned toTierra de Fuego, where horrified by his actions,

(18:31):
he attempted to starve himself to death. However,Tanya pursued him, arriving with the X-Men close
behind. Carl felt the pull to drain Tanya's lifeenergy, but instead ran, falling over a cliff,
unable to locate him. Tanya and the X-Men presumedCarl dead. However, he survived unconscious on a
ledge below and eventually wandered throughsubterranean passages into the Savage Land.

(18:54):
There, he lived in human form by feeding only onlesser animals, keeping his Sauron persona at
bay. He became an ally to the Jungle Lord, Khazar,and provided medical care to his companions for
many months. When the X-Men later became strandedin the Savage Land, the presence of mutant life
energy overwhelmed him, and he preyed on the team.After absorbing Storm's energy, he reverted into

(19:16):
Sauron again, though he soon returned to humanform. After the X-Men departed, Magneto took an
interest in the Savage Land and beganexperimenting on local inhabitants, creating a
mutated army to help him control the region.However, his campaign was stopped by Khazar.
Tanya eventually learned Carl had survived thefall and traveled to the Savage Land with

(19:37):
Archangel and Spider-Man. They found him, but theSavage Land mutates captured them and used one of
Magneto's genetic transformers to mutateArchangel, Spider-Man, and Tanya into
animalistic forms. When the machine wasdestroyed, Carl drained their altered life
energies to restore them. The process worked, buthe involuntarily transformed into Sauron again

(19:58):
and joined the mutates in opposing the X-Men. TheX-Men defeated them and returned Carl to the
United States, where Professor Xavier appearedto cure him. Carl and Tanya reunited, hoping to
build a normal life. The attempt ended when themutant Toad abducted Carl and Tanya in order to
recruit Sauron into his new Brotherhood of EvilMutants, whom you've learned more about in their

(20:21):
duel against the Flash Rogues. Toad forced Carl todrain Tanya's life energy, killing her and
transforming Carl into Sauron once more.Enraged, Sauron joined the Brotherhood and
helped them attack X-Force, Cable then shotSauron and discarded his body, though he
eventually recovered. He later battledX-Factor, marking the beginning of several

(20:42):
renewed clashes with the X-Men. You can learn moreabout Toad in his duel against the Trickster and
more about X-Force and X-Factor in theirrespective duels against the Outsiders and the
Freedom Fighters. Sauron returned to the SavageLand and took leadership of the Mutates. In one
effort to increase his power, he had them kidnapHavoc, hoping to use his energy to sustain

(21:03):
himself. When Cyclops, Phoenix, and Polarisattempted a rescue, Sauron placed both Summers
Brothers in an energy transfer device. Thecombined energies mutated him further,
enlarging him and increasing his strength.Phoenix confronted Carl on the psychic Astral
Plane, where his human consciousness seizedcontrol and cast his Sauron persona into an

(21:24):
internal abyss. As a result, Sauron's physicalform became trapped in a feral, non-sentient
state. Sauron later recovered fragments of hishuman mind and used this clarity to escape the
Savage Land by stowing away Ancazar's transportto New York. He sought out the X-Men again, but was
defeated and turned over to Shield. Eventually,he was incarcerated within the Weapon X program,

(21:46):
subjected to their experimentation, and forcedto capture and recruit other mutants, though the
program eventually collapsed. Carl was then heldin the superhuman prison called the Raft, where he
escaped during a jailbreak, prompting theAvengers to pursue him back to the Savage Land.
After briefly holding the New Avengers teamhostage alongside the mutates, Sauron was shot in

(22:07):
the head by Black Widow. He survived by havingpreviously absorbed Wolverine's healing
factor. During the Skrull's secret invasion ofEarth and their infiltration of the Savage Land,
Sauron fought the Skrulls alongside Khazar, hiswife Shanna, their pet Sabertooth Tiger Zabu, and
the native tribes. Sauron later appeared at agathering of Wolverine's enemies, hosted by

(22:28):
Sabertooth, where Wolverine fought and defeatedthe assembled villains. Sauron then joined the
Hellfire Club's new school, the HellfireAcademy, as a staff member, serving as the
school's science instructor. Sauron eventuallypartnered with Dr. Vincent Stegron, a former
Shield scientist who experimented with dinosaurDNA recovered from the Savage Land. Together,

(22:50):
they plan to transform humanity into dinosaurs,battling Spiderman and students from the Jean
Grey School. Their alliance crumbled due tojealousy over their infatuation with the student
Shark Girl, leading to an internal conflict thatcaused their powers to cancel out, petrifying
both. Later, Carl resumed laboratory work toenhance control over his transformations. Now

(23:11):
able to store mutant energy, he transformed intoSauron at will and confronted the Scarlet Spider,
a clone of Spiderman before being defeated andrestrained for authorities. However, he escaped
and maintained a lab in Staten Island, helpingdefend it against Null, a dark primordial deity
you can learn more about in his duel with WhiteLantern. Joining his fellow mutants on the

(23:33):
Sentient Island nation of Krakowa, Carl thenjoined the team X-Men Green, which took an
environmentalist stance, fighting on behalf ofplanet Earth. After the fall of Krakowa, Carl
returned to the Savage Land, where he was laterimprisoned by Khazar. And that's his backstory.
Powers-wise, Sauron is a mutate with the abilityto drain life energy or any thermal energy source

(23:55):
directed at him through touch contact.Initially, the energy would involuntarily
transform Carl into a pterodactyl form, thoughthrough his medical and genetics expertise, he
developed the ability to transform at will bystoring the energy in his cells. With his
pterodactyl physiology, he gains enhancedstrength, able to lift around 10 tons,

(24:16):
durability, and flight. He has a beak full of sharpteeth along with talons on his hands and feet.
Siphoning a victim's life energy leaves themfeeling drained, and Sauron can expel excess
energy from his mouth via fire breathing or energyemissions through his hands. With his eyes,
Sauron can hypnotize victims to inducehallucinations. When he drains mutants, he

(24:39):
absorbs their mutant powers temporarily, thoughto a lesser extent than rogue. If he runs out of
energy, he will revert back to his human form. Theextent of his intelligence while in pterodactyl
mode varies. He typically retains his intellectas Sauron Okay, so he is a little bit more going for

(25:04):
him than I initially thought. Good. I also forgotthat he had a human form. I thought he was just full
pterodactyl all the time. Nope. Initially, he wassupposed to be like a bat creature, but they
couldn't get that past the comics code authoritybecause that would have been too vampire like. So
the writers turned him into a pterodactyl, whichin turn influenced the entire savage land to be a

(25:27):
prehistoric refuge. Interesting. Well, thatsounds like it would have been too close to Morbius
anyway. Right, exactly. Well, now that we'veheard about Sauron, let's get to the character
everyone's here for. Parasite. The earliestindividual to bear the name Parasite was Raymond
Maxwell Jensen, a laborer whose exposure toradioactive material at a research facility

(25:49):
mutated his body into a parasitic organismcapable of absorbing life energy, memories, and
powers through physical contact. Jensenrepeatedly confronted Superman, draining
portions of Kryptonian power before his bodydestabilized and disintegrated. Though
believed destroyed multiple times, Jensen'scells repeatedly reconstituted, establishing

(26:11):
that a human body could persist as a living energyabsorbing entity. Years later, a new incarnation
emerged in Rudolph Rudy Jones, a janitor employedat the Pittsburgh branch of Star Labs. Believing
valuable materials were hidden within securedwaste containers, Rudy forced one open and was

(26:32):
exposed to experimental radiation. The accidenttransformed him into a bald, green-skinned
mutant whose body could no longer sustain itselfnaturally. Rudy discovered that he had to drain
life energy directly from other beings in order tosurvive, leaving victims as burned-out
skeletons. Unlike Jensen, Rudy's hunger wasconstant and unavoidable, and without feeding,

(26:56):
his body rapidly deteriorated. Rudy fledconfinement and became known as Parasite,
quickly drawing the attention of Superman afterdraining multiple victims. When Parasite made
contact with Superman, he absorbed Kryptonianenergy on a massive scale, gaining superhuman
strength, durability, and heightenedintelligence. As the stolen energy dissipated,

(27:19):
Parasite weakened again, driving him torepeatedly seek out Superman as his most potent
source of sustenance. Parasite's earliestconfrontations with Superman were erratic and
driven by immediate hunger. He was repeatedlycaptured and incarcerated, only to escape as his
absorption abilities weakened power systems andguards alike. Attempts to stabilize or cure his

(27:43):
condition failed, instead altering hisphysiology. Medical interventions changed his
skin color from green to purple, and expanded hisabsorption capabilities to include non-living
energy sources such as electricity and heat.During a volatile standoff involving Firestorm,
Parasite was deployed despite objections fromthose overseeing the operation. Once released,

(28:06):
he immediately lost control, feedingindiscriminately and endangering multiple
combatants. When he attacked Firestormdirectly, the disparity in power left Parasite
severely injured and near death, though subdued,Parasite later exhibited further psychological
changes. Parasite's fixation on Supermanintensified during a crisis in which Superman

(28:28):
struggled to contain an overload of solar energy.The confrontation carried both beyond Earth,
where Superman released a massive burst of heatvision. Parasite absorbed the blast entirely,
triggering a violent mutation that increased hissize and strength. In this state, he could drain
inertia from moving objects and siphon energythrough mental contact, making telepathic

(28:51):
attacks ineffective. The transformation alsoincreased his metabolic demands, forcing more
frequent feeding. While imprisoned afterward,Parasite absorbed a scientist tending to him,
though he was not consumed completely, andinstead the mind of Dr. Torval Freeman remained
within Parasite, significantly increasing hisintelligence. From that point forward, Parasite

(29:13):
employed more calculated tactics, relying lesson uncontrolled rampage and more on planning and
deception. Parasite later aligned himself withother adversaries targeting Superman,
repeatedly testing how his absorptioninteracted with altered forms of Kryptonian
power. In one encounter, Superman's unstableenergy nearly killed Parasite. In another,

(29:35):
Parasite attempted to feed on Supergirl and wasdefeated. These encounters informed Parasite's
subsequent tactics and feeding strategies. Asignificant change occurred when Parasite was
contracted to drain excess electromagneticenergy from an electrical being known as Strange
Visitor. Exposure to this energy alteredParasite permanently, allowing him to retain

(29:57):
absorbed intellects and hold stolen power forextended periods. Later, he absorbed a
shapeshifter, getting the ability to replicatevictims perfectly at the genetic level,
including voice, appearance, and biologicaltraits. With these abilities, Parasite shifted
tactics. He stalked Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen,seeking leverage over Superman rather than

(30:19):
immediate power. By posing as an elderly civilianand engineering brief physical contact with
Lois, Parasite confirmed Superman's secretidentity. He abducted Lois and replaced her,
maintaining the impersonation through repeatedcontact. During this period, Parasite provoked
confrontations with Clark Kent and later struckSuperman while still disguised as Lois,

(30:42):
revealing the deception. The scheme ended duringa physical assault on Superman. Over time,
Parasite had unknowingly absorbed Kryptoniteradiation present in Superman's system. The
accumulated poisoning overwhelmed him, madeflights, paralyzing, and killing him before he
could disclose Lois' location. Superman laterrecovered Lois from Parasite's hideout. Despite

(31:05):
his apparent death, Parasite later resurfaced inSt. Rock, Louisiana. There, he used his abilities
to temporarily drain other villains of theirpowers in exchange for payment, allowing them to
evade detection. Though his appearance andspeech differed noticeably from earlier
encounters, he was confirmed to be Rudy Jones,having regenerated from his apparent death.

(31:27):
After the Flashpoint event reset continuity, anew Parasite emerged in the form of Joshua Michael
Allen, a courier living in Metropolis. Allen'stransformation began when he attacked a
Parasitic creature during a battle,electrocuting both it and himself. Though he
survived, his body deteriorated rapidly. Whileundergoing examination at Star Labs, an

(31:50):
explosion killed the attending scientists andtransformed Allen into a skeletal, hairless
organism that drained life energyuncontrollably. Unable to endure the constant
hunger, Allen attempted suicide, but Supermanintervened. Contact with Superman temporarily
relieved his pain, initiating an obsession withmetahuman energy. Allen was imprisoned and later

(32:12):
aligned with criminal groups to gain access tostronger power sources. His abilities evolved,
allowing power replication with minimal contactand size increase, proportional to absorbed
energy. Rudolph Rudy Jones later reappeared asParasite in this continuity, demonstrating
greater caution than in earlier incarnations andrefusing to absorb energies he believed would

(32:34):
destroy him. He was forcibly recruited intosuicide squad operations and deployed on a
mission to capture the new Swamp Thing, duringwhich he fed on the green and was violently purged
of the stolen energy, leaving him mutilated andabandoned. Jones later returned under
supervision, equipped with a device thatregulated his hunger and allowed limited

(32:55):
employment. He assisted Superman during majorthreats and was seemingly killed while fighting
Doomsday, surviving by absorbing residualenergy. His most unstable mutation allowed him to
divide into autonomous duplicates capable ofinfecting other beings, increasing his threat
level while also accelerating his physicalcollapse. And that's Parasites. Powers-wise,

(33:18):
Parasite absorbs life energy, memories, skills,and superhuman abilities through physical
contact and can train non-living energy sourcessuch as electricity, heat, and solar radiation.
Absorbed power temporarily enhances hisstrength, durability, size, and intellect
before dissipating, requiring continualfeeding. He can perfectly mimic victims down to

(33:43):
their DNA and regenerate. Later incarnationscould also divide into duplicates, though he
inherits the weakness of those he drains,including vulnerability to kryptonite when
absorbing kryptonian energy and excessiveabsorption destabilizes his body. That's
Parasite. Why didn't I know that he hasshapeshifting abilities? He didn't always have

(34:04):
them. He only attained them because he absorbed ashapeshifter for a time. But does he consistently
have shapeshifting abilities now? Maybe. Okay,fucking dumb. It is unique that he's actually one
of the few energy absorbers that can shapeshift.Like, Rogue can't do that. Well, no, his whole body
is just weird, though. He's almost like Clayfacein a way in a few iterations where he's just like

(34:30):
this amorphous blob almost. Can you describe theversion you're going with for this match a little
bit better? Yeah, sure. I mean, he's going to startoff in like a normal humanoid-ish size and
physique, but of course purple in color. Okay. Allright, that works for me. I don't think we've ever
put two energy absorbers against each other. Likethe most recent match we did was with Sebastian

(34:52):
Shaw, but that was against Mandel Savage, and ofcourse we've done Rogue and Superboy. So I have no
idea how this is going to end, but let's find out.Did we think this battle through enough? Like,
they're both energy absorbers. What are theygoing to absorb from each other? The ability to
absorb energy? It's like pooping back and forthforever. I don't know if you like it. Podcast

(35:34):
Network presents Console Combat, where videogame legends brawl every Monday. Dynamic Duel,
where comic book titans smash every Tuesday. MaxDestruction, where TV and action heroes battle
every Wednesday. And Sendro World, where animechampions clash every Thursday. Join us as we
speculate on the matches and armed with the powerof mathematical simulations, discover who will

(35:58):
emerge victorious. Visit DynamicPodcast.comwhere we settle the debate and settle the score.
All right guys, the clock is ticking. The holidaysare just weeks away, and if you still haven't
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(36:19):
officially licensed Marvel and DC shirts,hoodies, and gear. Perfect for every fan on your
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(36:42):
OldGlory.com, because even superheroes can'tstop the holiday countdown. Well now that we've
got the characters, histories, and abilities outof the way, let's speculate on how one of the 1000
simulated matches will go. The winnersdetermined by simulations, not the speculation,
but it's fun to imagine how this fight could playout. AG9K, what are the rules of our speculation?

(37:05):
Well I should say there are no rules, other than thecharacters have no prior knowledge of the other
going into the fight. All they are aware ofstarting out is that the other character is a
threat that needs to be eliminated. For thespeculation, the contestants will begin
approximately 50 meters apart in a nondescriptenvironment that will have no bearing on the match
itself, as no environmental statistics areconsidered in my simulations. The contestants

(37:29):
must earn victory on their own merit. Alrightthen, let's get into it. Parasite and Sauron meet
on the battlefield? Who goes first? I'm actuallyguessing Parasite might go first, because at his
base level, he's probably not as intelligent or ascalculating as Sauron is. Basically, Parasite,

(37:50):
he's just gonna be hungry, so he is going to lungefor Sauron, grabbing one of his wings, and
draining his life energy, as well as hisintellect. You think that Parasite can cover that
distance of 50 meters between them before Saurontakes to the sky? I don't think that's gonna
happen. Parasite's not gonna be able to touchSauron, and while Sauron's looking down on

(38:12):
Parasite from the air, he's gonna use his gaze tohypnotize Parasite into a trance that keeps him
still. And with Parasite just standing there,Sauron's gonna land down behind him and grab his
skull with both hands and just drain his lifeenergy. Well, I mean, Sauron's physical contact
would actually allow Parasite to drain him aswell, though. And this match is over. They just

(38:39):
both drain each other to death forever,apparently. Well, I mean, I imagine there would be
some kind of energy feedback loop that wouldprobably cause both of them to overload and be
violently repelled from each other, like anexplosive force. So now Parasite is like 15 feet
tall, inject with a huge mouth of razor sharp teethand wings. That doesn't sound right to me. I don't

(39:05):
actually think Parasite would gain any benefitfrom absorption if that energy is just going back
and forth between him and Sauron. My guess is thatthey wouldn't overload by touching each other,
because where would that excess energy come from?Like, they're absorbers, they're not
generators. I think that it would actually be a netenergy gain for each side, like nothing would

(39:26):
happen. So absorption alone probably wouldn't bea factor in this match. They'd have to resort to
other abilities. But I mean, Parasite gets largerby absorbing any energy. Like maybe he wouldn't
get the wings or any of Sauron's unique abilities,but the energy moving through him, I think, would
make him smarter and stronger. What? Why? Like,you don't get any energy that Parasite absorbs

(39:49):
would be taken from him via Sauron's absorption.Okay. Okay. So how would Sauron defeat Parasite
then? Easy. Sauron rips Parasite's face off withhis claws, obviously. Okay. So you mean he
physically touches him? Awesome. With eachslash, Parasite is just going to get stronger. But

(40:11):
Sauron would also get stronger with each slashtwo. You know what, we got to find a way for them to
actually absorb each other. That's the only waythis is going to work. But we'll say that the one who
is absorbing is the one who initiated the contact.So they can't touch each other. The one who's doing
the strike is the one that absorbs. Does that makesense? How about that? So we'll go back to the

(40:34):
initial narrative where Sauron takes to the airhypnotizes Parasite into submission and then
lands behind him and then drains him with hisclaws. So this is going to leave Parasite weakened
because he's not going to be absorbing fromSauron's touch. And then Sauron is just going to
fry Parasite to a crisp with his flame breath,finishing him off. Okay. So Parasite will just

(40:56):
absorb the thermal energy from the flame. Andthat's going to restore him probably beyond what
he started out as because I'm going to say Sauronemitted much more energy than he drained. What? So
now Parasite is, we'll say he's like eight footjacked monster who uses his longer reach to grab

(41:17):
Sauron by the wrists, draining his energy becausehe's the one who initiated the contact while also
spreading Sauron's arms apart until they pop fromthe sockets. All right. But while Parasite is
holding Sauron's arms out, he's going to kick hislegs forward and snatch Parasite by the chest with
his talons. And he's going to start draining backthe energy that Parasite stole from him. That's

(41:41):
going to cause Parasite to let go of Sauron'swrists. So Parasite loses energy. He shrinks down
in withers. He's sees what the game is here. He'sgoing to put some distance between them. So he's
going to fly like 50, 100 yards away. And he's justgoing to start tearing up the environment below

(42:03):
him, like slashing out the ground, tearing it upinto like small chunks of earth. You know, he's
could lift 10 tons. He's strong enough, but he'sgoing to pick up some of these chunks and then fly
into the air and then just start dropping andpelting Parasite with the stones, basically
stoning him to death because he knows he has to keephis distance and Parasite can't do anything Okay,

(42:24):
except in the brief moment Parasite held Sauron,he caught glimpses of some of Sauron's memories,
particularly of Tanya. So with the last amount ofhis energy, Parasite is going to transform it to
her. And that's going to trick Sauron'sanimalistic brain and prevent him from attacking
her with the stones. And when Sauron flies down tomeet her, that's when Parasite is just going to

(42:47):
grab him by the throat and drain him. And he's goingto gain wings in the process. So he flies up to the
sky holding Sauron by the neck. And when Sauronbecomes so drained that he reverts back to human
form, that's when Parasite is going to drop him,causing Carl to fall to his death. Match over. That
was a pretty solid move. But I'm going to say thatright before turning back into Carl, Sauron with

(43:13):
the last of his strength just rips out Parasitesthroughout with his beak while they're flying in
the air. So Parasite, you know, he's in pain. Hedrops Sauron who glides safely to the ground, but
Parasite crashes down and then bleeds out. Wait,so you're saying that Sauron did that with the last
of his energy? So he still reverts to human form andstill fell when Parasite let go? I'll allow this. I

(43:39):
didn't mean it was like the last last of his energy.I mean, he still had some in the tank, you know, he
was running on fumes, basically. But he couldstill do it. Parasite could use some of his stored
energy to actually regenerate. You know, he'scome back from death that way several times. Yep.
But the key phrase there of what you just said isthat he died, meaning Sauron wins, meaning match

(43:59):
over. No, because I mean, what really happened isthat he dropped Carl. So, well, we'll leave the
match there. This was a tricky one. EitherParasite absorbed so much of Sauron's energy
while flying up in the air that he causes Sauron torevert back to Carl and then drop some down to the
ground, or Sauron, before reverting back intohuman, rips out Parasite's throat and Parasite

(44:23):
dies that way. Not likely. We'll go ahead and inputthe character stats, run the simulations, and
come back with a winner. AJ9K hit it. Inputtingdata, running calculations, processing
results, simulations complete. All right, whoseidea was this matchup? Was it yours, Jonathan?
Because I feel like it was one of yours. It may havebeen mine, and I think I'm realizing why now we kept

(44:47):
pushing this match off. This was not easyconsidering Parasite's stats are so fluid and
variable. Yeah, really, Parasite is only as goodas the character he's going up against. When he
goes up against huge powerhouses like Superman,his stats are off the charts. But when he's going up
against someone like mid-level, I would describeSauron as, you know, Parasite stats are

(45:09):
mid-level. That being said, you can never know atwhat given time what Parasite's stats are,
because it's all based on how much energy he'sabsorbed from his opponent. Basically, what
we've done energy absorbers in the past, likeRogue or Sebastian Shaw, will average their stats
between their base level and their potential. Sothat's what we did here. Now, Parasite has some

(45:33):
pretty impressive feats in the comics, butconsidering that Sauron is not as powerful, like
you mentioned, as Superman or someone even likeFirestorm, and on top of that, basically has the
same abilities as Parasite in terms ofabsorption, this didn't really go in my favor, I
feel like. Well, Parasite really had one mainthing going for him over Sauron, and I believe that

(45:58):
was durability. Yeah, base level durability forParasite is fairly high. But Sauron, you know, he
had the intellect thing going for him. He had theversatility because not only can he, you know,
slash you with his talons, burn you with hisfireballs or shoot you with energy or hypnotize
you, he has like all this shit going for him outsideof just the power of absorption. Whereas Parasite

(46:21):
doesn't, he has to actually absorb the abilitybefore he has it. So with all that said, Jonathan,
who do you think is winning this match? Well, let'ssee, I'm hopeful. Just as our Instagram followers
are, 62% of them voted in favor of Parasite in thepoll that we put up on Instagram. Well, I think a lot
of those poll takers are probably considering thefact that Parasite is a Superman villain, so

(46:44):
they're putting him at Superman levels withoutactually considering exactly how his powers work
in any singular matchup. But let's see if I'mright. AJ9K, the results please. Here you are,
sir. Alright, the winner between Parasite andSauron is Sauron. There's only one Lord of the

(47:07):
Rings and he does not share power, not even withParasite. Because out of the 1000 matches that
they fought, Sauron won a whopping 662, damn,whereas Parasite only won 338, so 66.2% over
33.8%. I'm not surprised by this, I'm hurt forsure, but not surprised. Although I feel like a lot

(47:33):
of people will be. Yeah, well, really Jonathan,what you needed to do was have Parasite go up in a
match with Superman and drain all of his energy andthen go into this match with Sauron where he would
have just wiped the floor with the dinosaur. Butsince that is not really something that we do in
this podcast, yeah, Parasite just basically ateass. Did you say he ate ass? Or ate shit? That's what

(47:58):
I meant to say. Ew, so you're saying Parasite ateSauron's ass? Oh my god, get over it, you're so
obsessed with this, just move on. I already knowyou're running visuals in your head and
everything. Well, let's leave it on that note.That'll do it for this duel. AJ9K, help close this
out. Thanks for listening to Dynamic Duel. Visitthe show's website at dynamicduel.com and follow

(48:23):
us on Instagram at Dynamic Duel podcast. Don'tforget to listen to the other shows in the Dynamite
podcast network, including Max Destruction,Senjo World, and Console Combat. In our next
episode, dropping just two days beforeChristmas, we are pitting the legion of super pets
against the pet Avengers. That's right, it'sgoing to be seven pet animal characters against

(48:47):
seven pet animal characters. It should be a fun,crazy time. So join us for that holiday episode
next week. I want to give a big thanks to ourexecutive producers, John Strausky, Zachary
Hepburn, Nathaniel Wagner, B. Viayetan, AustinWazalowski, AJ Dunkerly, Nick Obanto, Scott
Camacho, Gil Camacho, Adam Spees, Dean Maleski,Devin Davis, Joseph Kirsting, and Paul Graves for

(49:10):
helping make this podcast possible. We'll talk toyou guys next week. Up, up, and away! True
believers?

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