Probate: The Real Life Horror Story You Can Avoid

Probate doesn’t just slow things down—it can turn a time of grief into a grind of court dates, public filings, and creditor claims. We sit down to unpack why probate so often feels like a maze and map out practical ways to keep your family out of it with clear, simple planning moves that protect what matters.

We start with the human cost: how an open estate can freeze a home sale, stall car title transfers, and complicate insurance and mortgage payments. From there, we explain what probate really is—the court-supervised, public process for transferring assets—and why it commonly lasts six months to two years. You’ll hear how notices to creditors can pull medical bills and other debts into the mix, shrinking what beneficiaries receive and stoking family tension during an already hard season.

Then we shift to solutions you can use today. We walk through beneficiary designations on bank accounts, IRAs, 401(k)s, and brokerage accounts, showing how they transfer directly and bypass probate. For North Carolina homeowners, we outline the enhanced life estate (Lady Bird) deed that works like a beneficiary designation for your house, keeping it out of probate and simplifying transfer. We also break down revocable living trusts—how funding the trust by retitling assets like your home, accounts, vehicles, and even a boat can create a faster, more private, and more controlled path for your loved ones. Along the way, we highlight common mistakes, like leaving titles unfunded or ignoring contingent beneficiaries, and share a simple checklist to review your assets.

If you’re ready to trade uncertainty for clarity, this conversation gives you the tools to act. Book a free consult at our Shelby, Charlotte, or Hendersonville offices, call 1-888-999-600, or visit www.mcelderlaw.com. If this helped, subscribe, share with a friend who’s planning ahead, and leave a quick review so more families find their way to a smoother plan.

Episode Transcript

Haley Matson (00:09):
Good morning.
I'm Attorney Haley Matson herewith Attorney Jordan McIntyre.
And welcome to our Elder Lawreport.
We're going to talk aboutprobate, the real life horror
story that you can avoid.
So, Jordan, I guess we'll startoff with some things that we
might want to avoid by usingprobate, and then we can get

(00:30):
into some of the horror storiesthat we've seen.

Jordan McIntyre (00:34):
Yeah, absolutely.

So imagine this (00:35):
you've just lost a loved one, emotions are
raw, grief is heavy.
And just when you think itcouldn't get any worse, right?
You find yourself trapped inthis legal maze called probate.
You've got court dates, thereare delays, bills are piling up,
there's family tension, andwhat should really be this time
of healing, um the family shouldget together.

(00:58):
It really can turn into anightmare.
So we'll get into what probateis, um, why it can be a horror
story, and really how we canavoid it.
Um and I'll explain whatprobate is, and then Haley can
get into good ways to avoid itand why it can be so bad.
But probate is just a defaultprocess, it's the court
supervised process oftransferring a person's assets

(01:22):
after death.
And it might sound harmless,but it's not.
It can take anywhere from sixmonths to two years.
It is public.
So once you open up the probateestate, you're gonna run a
notice to creditors.
Creditors, right?
If mom or dad or a familymember pass with medical debt,
these creditors will come in,assert claims, and then they

(01:42):
will take whatever is passingthrough the estate.
And that can be expensive,right?
You might want to hire anattorney to assist you with
going through probate.
And uh, while all of this ishappening, loved ones and
beneficiaries are waiting toreceive assets and maybe are
fighting over it.
And uh, I'll let Haley talkabout this, but there are great
ways to avoid this horror story.

Haley Matson (02:04):
Yes, there are.
I mean, just for example, someof the horror stories can
include just being stuck and notbeing able to sell or divide a
family property.
There may still be mortgagepayments that are due, but yet
there's nothing you can do aboutthem.
Can't transfer the house, can'ttransfer the cars, can't drive
the cars.
So if you've been driving thedecedent's car and you can't get

(02:26):
titled to it, I mean, you can'treally drive it.
You won't be able to getinsurance on it.
So there's all sorts of stufflike that, but it is definitely
avoidable.
Um, some tactics that arereally easy to avoid probate for
certain assets would bebeneficiary designations on all
of your financial institutionaccounts, bank accounts,
checking, savings, IRAs, 401ks,pension plans.

(02:50):
You can put beneficiaries,which are specific individuals
that you name, on pretty muchall of those accounts.
All of those that arebeneficiary designated will
automatically transfer to thebeneficiary upon your death.
They do not get counted as aprobate asset, so they don't
need to be included in whateverthe creditors can pay.
Likewise, if you have a home inNorth Carolina, we have the

(03:13):
enhanced life estate deed, theLadybird deed.
It's essentially a beneficiarydesignation for your house.
Keeps your house out ofprobate, so you don't have to
deal with property splits, noclaims can touch it, no Medicaid
claims or anything.
It's just that real easy directtransfer.
If you have a lot of assets oryou're just interested in a
trust, a trust is also a vehiclethat can allow you to skip

(03:36):
probate for most of your assets.
You're gonna want to retitlethe assets that you don't want
to go into probate into the nameof the trust.
So your bank accounts, yourcar, your house, your boat.
Really, it depends on what youhave.
Anything that goes through thetrust will not end up going
through probate.

Jordan McIntyre (03:56):
Yes.
And then what Haley is gettingat is um do something, right?
Doing nothing is the scariestoption of all of these.
Um, you can avoid this probatehorror story and you really want
to meet with an estate planningattorney.
Haley's great.
Um, I'd love if you meet withHaley, meet with me.
Uh, and we'll we'll review allof the assets, right?

(04:18):
If mom or dad are struggling toget into the office, we offer
virtual consults, we can dophone calls, but we'd love to
help your family um see whatassets you have, your family
has, and figure out how toprotect them so you don't have
to be stuck in probate formonths or years.
Um, we'd love to help yourfamily, and we have multiple

(04:38):
locations.
So come meet with us and have afree consult in Shelby,
Charlotte, or Hendersonville, orgive us a call at
1-888-999-600, or visit thewebsite at www.mcelderlaw.com.
Uh, we'd love to see you.
Thank you all.
Have a good day.

Haley Matson (04:55):
Thank you.