ERP 485: Misused Words, Misunderstood Relationships: How Therapy Speak Can Erode Trust in Relationship — An Interview with Dr. Isabelle Morley

About this Episode

Words have power. They can heal, but they can also harm when we wield them without fully understanding their meaning. In today’s world, the language of therapy is everywhere, filtering from clinicians’ offices into viral social media posts, heated arguments, and everyday conversations. But with this widespread use comes a hidden problem. When words like “narcissist,” “gaslighting,” or “toxic” are misused or weaponized in our relationships, they not only muddy honest communication—they erode trust, block growth, and can even do real damage to our connections with others.

In this episode, listeners are invited to take a nuanced look at how “therapy speak” has crept into our relationship vocabulary and why this isn’t always a good thing. Through real-world examples and professional insight, you’ll learn where the line lies between helpful self-expression and language that shuts down vulnerability, repair, and intimacy. By unpacking the ways therapeutic labels can become conversational weapons, this discussion offers practical guidance to help you communicate more consciously, challenge your own assumptions, and foster deeper, more authentic connection—with yourself and with the people you care about most.

Isabelle Morley, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and an EFT-certified couples therapist (emotionally focused therapy). She is the author of They’re Not Gaslighting You, and a contributing author to Psychology Today in her blog Love Them or Leave Them. In philanthropic work, Dr. Morley is a founding board member of The Unscripted Cast Advocacy Network (UCAN) Foundation. She has a private practice providing couples therapy and coaching in the Boston area.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

Episode Highlights 

06:37 How social media fuels therapy speak and misuse of clinical terms.

09:08 The comfort of labels and the human drive for clear answers.

10:54 How diagnosing others and misuse of DSM terms can create unnecessary confusion, reinforce stereotypes, and affect our relationships and mental health conversations.

18:53 Differentiating between abusive and unskilled behavior in relationships.

37:17 Signals that invite self-reflection.

42:00 Approaching sensitive topics with partners and setting boundaries.

46:42 What trauma bonding truly is, and why understanding its meaning matters.

49:02 How the widespread and casual use of therapy speak can dilute and distort the original meaning of these terms.

51:43 Preserving the integrity of clinical terms and the power of conscientious communication.

Mentioned

They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

ERP 410: What Are The Signs Of Emotional Immaturity In Relationship?

ERP 411: What Are The Signs Of Emotional Immaturity In Relationship? Part Two

ERP 413: How Does Emotional Immaturity Develop & The Difference Between Emotional Im