October 23, 2022 • 17 mins
Is your mind playing tricks on you? In this episode, Coach Suzette shares 12 signs. Ideologies that have been adopted, often quoted and rigorously shared by countless women that have distracted them from taking responsibility for their love lives and owning their power to have the love they desire. Exposing the lies often believed, Suzette exposes the mindset traps that keep women intimidated by love and stuck in a cycle of failed relationships.
If after listening to this episode, you wish to talk further about your relationship challenges and how working with Coach Suzette can help, reach out. Here are some ways:
Email: suzette.vearnon@suzettesolutions.com
Website: suzettesolutions.com/contact-us
Calendar: calendly.com/suzettevearnon
Join her Facebook Group at facebook.com/groups/loveonyourterms.
Learn more/register for her Love On Your Terms Masterclass coming in November at suzettesolutions.com.
If after listening to this episode, you wish to talk further about your relationship challenges and how working with Coach Suzette can help, reach out. Here are some ways:
Email: suzette.vearnon@suzettesolutions.com
Website: suzettesolutions.com/contact-us
Calendar: calendly.com/suzettevearnon
Join her Facebook Group at facebook.com/groups/loveonyourterms.
Learn more/register for her Love On Your Terms Masterclass coming in November at suzettesolutions.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
What if you knew you were enough? What would your life look like?
What would love look alike? Thisis the Enough at the broadcasts where we're
redefining what makes you enough in life? And now here's your host, Suzette.
(00:37):
Hello everybody, it's your life coachingrelationship solutionists Susette Vernon and welcome to
My Enough Factor podcast. It's timefor another episode, y'all where we're going
to redefine what makes us enough inlife and in love on our own terms?
(00:59):
And how do we do it byamplifying what I've identified as three critical
factors, your voice, your value, and your vision. To all those
that continue to listen from week toweek, thank you so much. You're
(01:19):
the reason that I show up right. And then for those of you that
are new, maybe somebody told youabout me, or told you about the
podcast rather, or you just happenedto be scrolling and you came across it,
thank you so much for taking thetime, because out of all the
(01:40):
podcasts you could be listening to,you're listening to Mine. What you will
find is that each week I challengewhat I call lids, limiting beliefs ideologies,
disconnecting stories that keep you stuck inus Michael of failed relationships, and
(02:02):
rather than keep you stuck, Ishow you what you already have to attract
great love into your life, andthis episode will be another installment in your
liberation. Today, I want totalk about signs, signs that your mind
(02:24):
is playing tricks on you, andwe're going to talk about let's see twelve
different signs that I've identified as waysthat I have seen people talk themselves out
of their own power and talk themselvesout of their own responsibility to really take
(02:52):
matters into their own hands when itcomes to their emotional health and their romance
antic relationships. So you might wantto run and get you get your journal,
and get your pen because you're gonnawant to take notes. I'm going
to go through them rather quickly,and for those of you that want to
(03:14):
even explore them further, there willbe ways in the show notes that you
can connect with me and we canexplore further these different signs that I'm going
to go through. Okay, thefirst sign, you think that doing the
same thing over and over again willgive you a different result. Well,
(03:38):
to think that doing the same thingthat you've done that has not worked in
the past, is the sure firedway for you to find great love is
definitely it's an insane mindset, andit's a sign that your mind is playing
tricks on you. Number two.You believe that getting a new man is
(04:03):
the cure for the old man.Somebody said that the way to get over
an old man is to get undera new one. That's not true.
It may make your ego feel good, but it does nothing to resolve the
(04:24):
old relationship. The only way toresolve an old relationship is to find out
what you didn't know the first timeso that you don't bring it into your
subsequent relationships. Sign number three.You believe that marriage is the cure for
loneliness. Well, let me tellyou something. I got married two times
(04:48):
before I found my mister Wright,and I discovered that just because somebody decides
to marry you does not mean thatyou have their heart, and it does
not mean that your days of lonelinessare over. There is nothing more lonely
than being married to somebody who isnot in love with you. Sign number
(05:12):
four. You believe that you willjust automatically know it when God sends you
your mister Wright. You think thatjust praying to God to send them will
automatically mean that you will recognize him. There are many women that I have
coached in counsel that thought that theman that was standing in front of them
(05:34):
was the answer to their prayers,only to discover that God did not send
them. Matter of fact, Goddid not know him. Okay. Number
five, you believe that working onyourself is sufficient preparation for a healthy relationship.
I've said this and I stand behindit. Working on yourself only works
(05:58):
if you're going to only be inrelationship with yourself. But if you want
to be in relationship with somebody else, you've got to do more than that.
You've got to work on your relationshipself. Sign number six you believe
that having chemistry with someone means hemight be the one. Just because you
(06:23):
feel a strong attraction to someone doesnot mean he's the one. It just
means you have a strong attraction tohim. It takes more than chemistry to
truly recognize and prepare for a good, healthy relationship. Sign number seven you
(06:47):
believe that waiting on God to sendyour husband is a sign of trusting God.
It's only a sign that you're lookingfor God odd to do everything for
you. When God wants you toknow what your power is so that you
(07:08):
can choose for yourself. A signof trust is faith in action. It's
not just hoping and thinking God's goingto do all the heavy lifting. A
true sign of trust, a truesign of faith is that you are moving
in the direction of what it isthat you're praying for. Number eight you
(07:29):
believe that being happy being single isthe pathway to love. Well, let
me tell you something. Being happybeing single makes you feel good, but
it is not the pathway to lovebecause being single is just you. Love
requires that you be with somebody else, so you have to learn to be
(07:49):
happy being with some one else.Number nine you believe that losing yourself in
God is the key to being foundby the right man. I know you've
heard it. Maybe somebody that youreally looked up to told you that that
was what you needed to do.Well, let me tell you something.
(08:11):
God created love between a man anda woman, so I don't feel like
losing yourself in God is the keyto being found by the right man.
I believe that showing up and beingseen as who you are, being authentic
is the key to being found bythe right man. After all, how
(08:33):
can he recognize you if he can'tsee you. And now a special announcement.
If you've tried to do love ontheir terms and it didn't work,
I've got the answer. Love onyour Terms a three five day master class
that takes you out of the passengerseat and into the driver's seat where you
(08:58):
belong. To learn more and tosign up, go to SUSAT Solutions dot
com. That's it, SUSAT solutionsdot com. It's free, it's now.
That's SUSAT solutions dot com. Ilook forward to seeing you there.
(09:26):
Sign number ten. You believe thatproof of getting over a man is to
no longer want one. I've heardwomen say, you know what, I
don't need a man, and theythink that by saying that that it makes
them powerful, that by saying that, it means they are free of the
desire for love, that they're freeof being driven by that desire for love.
(09:52):
No, the proof of getting overa man is taking the time that
you need to heal not only yourheart, but to heal the wounds that
were caused by a different man.And another sign of getting over a man
(10:13):
is no longer feeling intimidated when aman shows an interest in you. That
is a sign that you have gottenover the sting of your past relationship.
When you're no longer intimidated, whenyou're no longer afraid of being hurt,
when you're no longer afraid of beingtaken advantage of, when you don't don't
(10:35):
fear a man. That is proofthat you have gotten over the last man.
When you're no longer feel the needto hide, when you're no longer
feel the need to hide who youtruly are. That is a sign that
you have gotten over the past.At number eleven, a sign that your
(10:58):
mind is playing tricks on you.You believe that, after all the hell
you've been through in your past withmen, you deserve a good man.
Going through hell in your past relationshipswith a man does not qualify you for
a great relationship. It doesn't makeyou more deserving, It doesn't make you
(11:18):
more ready. A great relationship isnot something that you're entitled to. A
great relationship is something that you workfor. It's an intention that you set
that you do what you need todo to be prepared for. You have
to get out of this mindset thatyou are entitled just because you've gone through
(11:43):
something that has never prepared anybody foranything. For example, if you have
failed test after test after test atthe test, that does not make you
deserve it of a passing grade.The only way you're deserving of a passing
(12:05):
grade is to do the work tolearn what it was that you did not
know the first time that you tookthe tests, the second time that you
took the test, the third timethat you took the tests, the fourth
time that you took the test.Is to learn what it was that you
did not know. To apply yourselfto study, to study the material,
(12:26):
to find out what it is thateluded you the first one to ten twenty
times you took the tests. That'sthe only way that you get over the
hell you've been through in your pastwith men. You don't get over it
by avoiding it. M. Youdon't get over it by running away M.
(12:52):
You don't get over it by justpraying only M. You got to
take some steps in the direction ofwhat it is that you want. You
got to put some sweat into thegame. You've got to apply yourself.
You've got to go beyond your comfortlevel and do something that you've not done
before, Learn something that you didn'tlearn before, find out from people who
(13:13):
are passing the test. What itis that you keep missing? Right?
Those are the eleven ways, butyour mind plays tricks on you the twelfth
way. The twelfth and final wayis you believe being happy as a single
woman, it's what best prepares youfor a happy relationship. How can being
(13:37):
happy being single prepare you for arelationship? It prepares you to be happy
as a single person, but itdoes not prepare you for a relationship,
because a relationship requires you to beable to relate to someone other than yourself.
(13:58):
So the only way for you tobe happy in a relationship you learn
to relate in a way that reinforcesyour happiness. To just sum it all
up, what is the remedy.The remedy is put aside clever sayings and
mindless mantras and spiritual or sexy soundingof voidance tactics, and finding out what
(14:22):
truly makes for a happy relationship.One way is to determine what your terms
are different from preferences. Terms arenot only what you expect from someone else,
they are the conditions from which youdo love. If you need some
(14:43):
help with being able to determine whatthose terms, what those conditions are,
it's not only finding out what theyare, but aligning yourself with them in
a real way. That is theway that you do it. If you
(15:05):
want to experience love on your terms, then I invite you to Love on
your Terms masterclass. It's coming upin November. It is backed by popular
demand, and it is a surefired way for you to get the foundational
(15:26):
principles that have alluded you in thepast, so that you can determine what
your terms are and hold yourself accountableto those terms. It's a free master
class. It's online and the linkto it is sus that Solutions dot com.
(15:54):
Sus that Solutions dot com. Giveyourself this holiday season the gift of
a sound mind, so that you'renot intimidated by men, whether you want
marriage or you don't. To giveyourself the gift of resolution, the gift
of no longer being haunted by yourpast relationships, the gift of freedom,
(16:19):
the gift of answering the questions,well was it me? Was it something
I did? Find out your answersfor yourself. Find out what your power
is to attract the loved you desire. Find out give yourself that gift.
Find out the mindset of women whoare happy in their relationships and who are
(16:45):
successful in love find out by registeringat sues that Solutions dot com. Well,
until next time, I don't wantyou to ever forget that you are
one hundred percent worthy, You onehundred percent worthy, You are one hundred
percent enough. By now, youhave just listened to the Enough back To
(17:11):
podcast with your host Suzette. They'renot to get notified of new episodes or
to dig deeper into today's topic.Become a subscriber, and while you're at
it, tell us how we're doingand what topics you're interested in. We
appreciate your feedback and your reviews.Until next time, remember you are worthy,
(17:34):
You are worth it, You areenough.
What if you knew you were enough? What would your life look like?
What would love look alike? Thisis the Enough at the broadcasts where we're
redefining what makes you enough in life? And now here's your host, Suzette.
(00:37):
Hello everybody, it's your life coachingrelationship solutionists Susette Vernon and welcome to
My Enough Factor podcast. It's timefor another episode, y'all where we're going
to redefine what makes us enough inlife and in love on our own terms?
(00:59):
And how do we do it byamplifying what I've identified as three critical
factors, your voice, your value, and your vision. To all those
that continue to listen from week toweek, thank you so much. You're
(01:19):
the reason that I show up right. And then for those of you that
are new, maybe somebody told youabout me, or told you about the
podcast rather, or you just happenedto be scrolling and you came across it,
thank you so much for taking thetime, because out of all the
(01:40):
podcasts you could be listening to,you're listening to Mine. What you will
find is that each week I challengewhat I call lids, limiting beliefs ideologies,
disconnecting stories that keep you stuck inus Michael of failed relationships, and
(02:02):
rather than keep you stuck, Ishow you what you already have to attract
great love into your life, andthis episode will be another installment in your
liberation. Today, I want totalk about signs, signs that your mind
(02:24):
is playing tricks on you, andwe're going to talk about let's see twelve
different signs that I've identified as waysthat I have seen people talk themselves out
of their own power and talk themselvesout of their own responsibility to really take
(02:52):
matters into their own hands when itcomes to their emotional health and their romance
antic relationships. So you might wantto run and get you get your journal,
and get your pen because you're gonnawant to take notes. I'm going
to go through them rather quickly,and for those of you that want to
(03:14):
even explore them further, there willbe ways in the show notes that you
can connect with me and we canexplore further these different signs that I'm going
to go through. Okay, thefirst sign, you think that doing the
same thing over and over again willgive you a different result. Well,
(03:38):
to think that doing the same thingthat you've done that has not worked in
the past, is the sure firedway for you to find great love is
definitely it's an insane mindset, andit's a sign that your mind is playing
tricks on you. Number two.You believe that getting a new man is
(04:03):
the cure for the old man.Somebody said that the way to get over
an old man is to get undera new one. That's not true.
It may make your ego feel good, but it does nothing to resolve the
(04:24):
old relationship. The only way toresolve an old relationship is to find out
what you didn't know the first timeso that you don't bring it into your
subsequent relationships. Sign number three.You believe that marriage is the cure for
loneliness. Well, let me tellyou something. I got married two times
(04:48):
before I found my mister Wright,and I discovered that just because somebody decides
to marry you does not mean thatyou have their heart, and it does
not mean that your days of lonelinessare over. There is nothing more lonely
than being married to somebody who isnot in love with you. Sign number
(05:12):
four. You believe that you willjust automatically know it when God sends you
your mister Wright. You think thatjust praying to God to send them will
automatically mean that you will recognize him. There are many women that I have
coached in counsel that thought that theman that was standing in front of them
(05:34):
was the answer to their prayers,only to discover that God did not send
them. Matter of fact, Goddid not know him. Okay. Number
five, you believe that working onyourself is sufficient preparation for a healthy relationship.
I've said this and I stand behindit. Working on yourself only works
(05:58):
if you're going to only be inrelationship with yourself. But if you want
to be in relationship with somebody else, you've got to do more than that.
You've got to work on your relationshipself. Sign number six you believe
that having chemistry with someone means hemight be the one. Just because you
(06:23):
feel a strong attraction to someone doesnot mean he's the one. It just
means you have a strong attraction tohim. It takes more than chemistry to
truly recognize and prepare for a good, healthy relationship. Sign number seven you
(06:47):
believe that waiting on God to sendyour husband is a sign of trusting God.
It's only a sign that you're lookingfor God odd to do everything for
you. When God wants you toknow what your power is so that you
(07:08):
can choose for yourself. A signof trust is faith in action. It's
not just hoping and thinking God's goingto do all the heavy lifting. A
true sign of trust, a truesign of faith is that you are moving
in the direction of what it isthat you're praying for. Number eight you
(07:29):
believe that being happy being single isthe pathway to love. Well, let
me tell you something. Being happybeing single makes you feel good, but
it is not the pathway to lovebecause being single is just you. Love
requires that you be with somebody else, so you have to learn to be
(07:49):
happy being with some one else.Number nine you believe that losing yourself in
God is the key to being foundby the right man. I know you've
heard it. Maybe somebody that youreally looked up to told you that that
was what you needed to do.Well, let me tell you something.
(08:11):
God created love between a man anda woman, so I don't feel like
losing yourself in God is the keyto being found by the right man.
I believe that showing up and beingseen as who you are, being authentic
is the key to being found bythe right man. After all, how
(08:33):
can he recognize you if he can'tsee you. And now a special announcement.
If you've tried to do love ontheir terms and it didn't work,
I've got the answer. Love onyour Terms a three five day master class
that takes you out of the passengerseat and into the driver's seat where you
(08:58):
belong. To learn more and tosign up, go to SUSAT Solutions dot
com. That's it, SUSAT solutionsdot com. It's free, it's now.
That's SUSAT solutions dot com. Ilook forward to seeing you there.
(09:26):
Sign number ten. You believe thatproof of getting over a man is to
no longer want one. I've heardwomen say, you know what, I
don't need a man, and theythink that by saying that that it makes
them powerful, that by saying that, it means they are free of the
desire for love, that they're freeof being driven by that desire for love.
(09:52):
No, the proof of getting overa man is taking the time that
you need to heal not only yourheart, but to heal the wounds that
were caused by a different man.And another sign of getting over a man
(10:13):
is no longer feeling intimidated when aman shows an interest in you. That
is a sign that you have gottenover the sting of your past relationship.
When you're no longer intimidated, whenyou're no longer afraid of being hurt,
when you're no longer afraid of beingtaken advantage of, when you don't don't
(10:35):
fear a man. That is proofthat you have gotten over the last man.
When you're no longer feel the needto hide, when you're no longer
feel the need to hide who youtruly are. That is a sign that
you have gotten over the past.At number eleven, a sign that your
(10:58):
mind is playing tricks on you.You believe that, after all the hell
you've been through in your past withmen, you deserve a good man.
Going through hell in your past relationshipswith a man does not qualify you for
a great relationship. It doesn't makeyou more deserving, It doesn't make you
(11:18):
more ready. A great relationship isnot something that you're entitled to. A
great relationship is something that you workfor. It's an intention that you set
that you do what you need todo to be prepared for. You have
to get out of this mindset thatyou are entitled just because you've gone through
(11:43):
something that has never prepared anybody foranything. For example, if you have
failed test after test after test atthe test, that does not make you
deserve it of a passing grade.The only way you're deserving of a passing
(12:05):
grade is to do the work tolearn what it was that you did not
know the first time that you tookthe tests, the second time that you
took the test, the third timethat you took the tests, the fourth
time that you took the test.Is to learn what it was that you
did not know. To apply yourselfto study, to study the material,
(12:26):
to find out what it is thateluded you the first one to ten twenty
times you took the tests. That'sthe only way that you get over the
hell you've been through in your pastwith men. You don't get over it
by avoiding it. M. Youdon't get over it by running away M.
(12:52):
You don't get over it by justpraying only M. You got to
take some steps in the direction ofwhat it is that you want. You
got to put some sweat into thegame. You've got to apply yourself.
You've got to go beyond your comfortlevel and do something that you've not done
before, Learn something that you didn'tlearn before, find out from people who
(13:13):
are passing the test. What itis that you keep missing? Right?
Those are the eleven ways, butyour mind plays tricks on you the twelfth
way. The twelfth and final wayis you believe being happy as a single
woman, it's what best prepares youfor a happy relationship. How can being
(13:37):
happy being single prepare you for arelationship? It prepares you to be happy
as a single person, but itdoes not prepare you for a relationship,
because a relationship requires you to beable to relate to someone other than yourself.
(13:58):
So the only way for you tobe happy in a relationship you learn
to relate in a way that reinforcesyour happiness. To just sum it all
up, what is the remedy.The remedy is put aside clever sayings and
mindless mantras and spiritual or sexy soundingof voidance tactics, and finding out what
(14:22):
truly makes for a happy relationship.One way is to determine what your terms
are different from preferences. Terms arenot only what you expect from someone else,
they are the conditions from which youdo love. If you need some
(14:43):
help with being able to determine whatthose terms, what those conditions are,
it's not only finding out what theyare, but aligning yourself with them in
a real way. That is theway that you do it. If you
(15:05):
want to experience love on your terms, then I invite you to Love on
your Terms masterclass. It's coming upin November. It is backed by popular
demand, and it is a surefired way for you to get the foundational
(15:26):
principles that have alluded you in thepast, so that you can determine what
your terms are and hold yourself accountableto those terms. It's a free master
class. It's online and the linkto it is sus that Solutions dot com.
(15:54):
Sus that Solutions dot com. Giveyourself this holiday season the gift of
a sound mind, so that you'renot intimidated by men, whether you want
marriage or you don't. To giveyourself the gift of resolution, the gift
of no longer being haunted by yourpast relationships, the gift of freedom,
(16:19):
the gift of answering the questions,well was it me? Was it something
I did? Find out your answersfor yourself. Find out what your power
is to attract the loved you desire. Find out give yourself that gift.
Find out the mindset of women whoare happy in their relationships and who are
(16:45):
successful in love find out by registeringat sues that Solutions dot com. Well,
until next time, I don't wantyou to ever forget that you are
one hundred percent worthy, You onehundred percent worthy, You are one hundred
percent enough. By now, youhave just listened to the Enough back To
(17:11):
podcast with your host Suzette. They'renot to get notified of new episodes or
to dig deeper into today's topic.Become a subscriber, and while you're at
it, tell us how we're doingand what topics you're interested in. We
appreciate your feedback and your reviews.Until next time, remember you are worthy,
(17:34):
You are worth it, You areenough.
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