January 2, 2025 • 22 mins
Can the breakdown of the family unit be the root cause of many societal ills? Join us as we tackle this provocative question in "Faith, Family, and Fishing." We promise that by the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of how the disintegration of family structures has contributed to the rise of "deaths of despair," such as suicides, alcohol abuse, and drug overdoses. With the stark decline in two-parent households—from 73% in 1960 to just 46% in 2014—it's more crucial than ever to examine the impact of family environments on mental health, education, and overall well-being. While not all two-parent homes are ideal and not all single-parent homes are detrimental, the quality of family life holds significant weight in shaping future generations.
In this engaging episode, Josh and Debbie explore the complex dynamics of family life and its broad societal implications. Modern terms like "toxic family" and the trend of millennials and zillennials distancing themselves from family ties highlight urgent issues many recognize but struggle to address. Drawing insights from various fields such as counseling, law enforcement, pastoral work, and education, we argue that restoring the family unit is essential for fostering resilience and improving mental health. By focusing on strengthening family bonds, we aim to inspire meaningful change and address the roots of many social challenges. Join us for this thoughtful discussion that underscores the importance of family restoration as a pathway to a healthier society.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
sorry honey, I had a lot going on you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I think so and hello and welcome to faith, family and
fishing.
I, I am Josh, and today I amjoined by Debbie.
(00:28):
Who is my?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Wife.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hence the family part of Faith, family Fishing.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Correct.
Well, there's a lot of faiththere too.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
But the fishing is the most important.
Fishing is Anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
That keeps our marriage very healthy.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So if you were tuned into this, this, perhaps you
found us by accident.
Perhaps, um, you were aprevious subscriber to
practically christian, becausewe did not change the feed for
the podcast, we just changed thename of the podcast.
Yep, and we changed the namebecause there's a lot to a name.
Right, a rose by any other namewould smell as sweet, but if
(01:05):
you have a dandelion it is adifferent flower okay I don't.
A dandelion is a flower.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Right, it is a flower I think it's a weed, I don't
know.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I think it's flower um so, same people, different
podcasts, different aim.
You know, our aim on this oneis to restore the family,
especially, I mean that, thatfamily unit yes and um.
I think the first and mostlogical question would be why?
(01:36):
Why?
But why um, and there's a lotof different reasons for that
right Sure.
I will tell you, like doingresearch for this, I found
something that was new to me,but I'm sure that doesn't happen
often.
No, and I'm sure you've heardabout it before, but it's called
it's America, a nation dying indespair.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh, is that a website ?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Well, it's actually from the Manhattan Institute,
okay.
I've heard of them and in thearticle is talking about.
That's horrible, this new thingcalled deaths of despair, which
means deaths by suicide,alcohol abuse or drug overdose.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Goodness.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
And, according to all the research, it has been on
the rise for at least threeyears I mean, I know suicides
have yeah um, suicides havealmost doubled what since covid,
since, oh don't, you can't saythat name I can't say that name
no, you can say the disease, thedisease that shall not be named
(02:41):
, shall not be named.
Yes, you could say that, but butyes, uh, suicides have doubled
um, since 2020.
That makes me sad.
It does, and and I think, whenyou look out at people, at
culture, at america, and, andespecially and I know people you
know are listening to this allover the world, and I'm sure
it's the same over there toothank you, germany, keep going,
(03:04):
that's right, um, you just seedespair, you see broken you see
it on their faces hopelessness.
You see you know, it's justnever going to get better.
And and even with this, deathsof despair.
Um, they said there there's alot of different contributing
(03:26):
factors, but the biggest factorto add to the mix is family
breakdown and again, what we seelike if you look at Pew
Research Center, which again isjust research.
It's just hey, we asked thismany people and here's what we
(03:46):
got.
They were comparing marriagesfrom 1960 to 2014.
Okay and um, the amount ofchildren growing in a two-parent
home in 1960 was 73 percent and2014 it was down to 46%.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Oh man, almost in half.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And that's still 10 years ago.
So, it's probably even lowerthan that now?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Oh, certainly, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
The amount of two-parent households.
Hold on.
I'm trying to read this as I go.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Is it double talking yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
the share of children living in a two-parent
household is at the lowest pointit has been in half a century
in 2024?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
are they talking about 2014?
In 2014 okay, so it's probablyeven lower now well, it says.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Conversely, the share of children living with one
parent stands at 26, which isactually up from 22 in in 2000
well, that makes sense, yeah andjust nine percent in 1960 wow,
so I go I mean the rise ofsingle parent homes I mean
(05:07):
there's a lot of differentreasons for that you know're the
.
However, less than 40 46 percentare living with two parents,
which means 54 percent ofchildren are living with only
one parent.
So that's more than half.
I mean we see this breakdown,um, no matter what the data is.
(05:30):
So so again, and, and we haveto look at this and we have to
go, okay, well, what does thatmatter?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
what?
As far as having two parenthomes, well, and or the
breakdown of family, becauseyeah, because I want to.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I don't want to sit here and go.
It's just having two parenthomes no, because you can have
two parent homes.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
That are bad and you can have a pretty dysfunctional
home right and you can have aone parent home that's loving
and caring and, yeah right,encouraging and all the things
you know, and so it's not a twoparent versus one parent home
you're talking about a twoparent healthy home right and
more.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So I'm talking about just quality family yes, like
because there's a differencebetween I have a family and I
have a good family right becauseeverybody has a family.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know children that have gone through horrific
trauma have families.
You know people that have beenin horrible situations have
families.
That doesn't always mean it's agood family.
Is that that's what you'retalking about, right, like just
because you have?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
you're not saying just because you have a mom and
a dad in your home doesn't meanthat you're not struggling, have
despair, hopeless right becauseeven if you look at like you
know, single dads or not, singledads um well, single dads are
on the rise too yeah, but buteven if you look at um,
fatherless children that that'swhat I was trying to get at, not
(07:07):
single dads um, there they makelike there are stats about
fatherless children and they'remore likely to engage in in
risky behavior, they're morelikely to abuse substance,
they're more likely to drop outof school, they're more likely
to become sexually activeearlier in their life.
(07:28):
Like there, there's all ofthese different things,
Statistics right.
That come from just having afatherless home.
But they also keep into accountthat the father could be in the
home and just not be a presentfather.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Right, right right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So, like you know, that whole thought process of
okay, you have a two-parent home, but dad is, you know, kind of,
just checked out all the timeDismissive.
Yeah Right Kind of comes in thehouse, you know, goes to the
room watch it, whatever the casemay be Right, right, right.
Um, you know.
So you have that too and I go.
And that's just as dangerous asif dad, you know, as the meme
(08:08):
would say, left to go getcigarettes Right and when to go
get cigarettes right and when togo get some milk right.
Never came back, never cameback, so I go.
I'm not sitting here going.
Oh, the solution to all of thisis simply a two-parent home
right.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
The solution to this is a restoration of the familial
unit.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I like that and I go it's not just okay, does it look
good on the outside?
Right hit the stats on theoutside.
It's not just okay.
Does it look good on theoutside?
Does it hit the stats on theoutside?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It's not only does it look good on the outside, but
it's also doing what it'sdesigned to do Behind closed
doors when no one's looking, andthat's where the faith part
comes from, because I go.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
You know, if God is the one who designed family and
we see family all the way backin Genesis it's actually the
first time we see in scripturewhere God is, is creating
creation and he it's the firsttime we see.
It is not good.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
God creates man on the sixth day and he goes it is
not good that man should bealone, right.
And so he creates a helpmate, awife, um, suitable for him, and
, and, and so then he brings thewoman to the man.
Adam breaks out in song and wehave the first family, right you
(09:22):
know, and god's you know roleto them, you know go be fruitful
, go multiply, go make more ofyou know little ones of you,
yeah and so we have the familyand immediately, as soon as the
family is created it's attacked.
It's attacked, yep and and thedevil tries to break up the
family.
Right why?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
because I mean, I think, from everything I've seen
, a family that's healthy andtogether and unified.
You know, the kids are going tobe protected and taken care of
and wife's taking care ofhusband, husband's taking care
of wife and everyone's lookingout for each other.
But if you're constantly on theattack or on the defense, then
you're you're going to look outfor yourself well, I mean, and
just think about that old adageright the family.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That prays together, stays together eats together,
stays together, sleeps together,stays together fishes together,
stays together there you go you.
I mean seriously, and thereason fishing comes in on this
podcast is is you don'tunderstand the kind of
conversations you can get intowith your teenage child, who
hates talking to you in anyother right aspect who talks to
(10:27):
you via text message but you getout on a boat where they can't
go anywhere.
Well, and you know, hey phonescan't right.
You know, put the phone away,start fishing pay attention,
look around you.
That's true we actually wentout charter fishing.
We went on vacation last yearwe went to the case last summer
(10:51):
and we went out on a chartertrip.
While we were down there and inthe captain hollywood, that is
his name, what they call himshout out um you know we were
talking.
He was telling me he's like man,you'd be shocked at how many
kids like he takes the phoneaway from him.
(11:13):
It's like you know your dadspent a lot of money to bring
you out here to go fish andright, you're not just gonna
waste that by sitting hereplaying on your phone, right and
and like he was saying, likethese kids start catching one or
two fish and then all of asudden, they're excited.
You don't even think about thephone, right?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Because you're getting that dopamine hit and
that's really what they'retrying to do with the phones and
stuff it is.
I mean, we see it in school.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So we see this breakdown of the family and
honestly, I don't think manypeople out there would disagree
with that.
I don't think there are manypeople in this world I mean oh,
what's it?
What's it called?
You see it on shorts all thetime.
The stupid millennials andzillennials and versus.
No, they're like breaking upwith their family.
(11:57):
It has a special name.
I forget what it isemancipation no, it's not
emancipation, because they'realready adults they're already
adults.
it's notructing they're alreadyadults.
It's not emancipation.
Oh, it's like hey, I'm notgoing to Thanksgiving this year
because my family doesn'trespect my right to.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Whatever, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Because maybe I'm tired of their conservative
values and they don't see me forwho I am, and you know.
And I go Get over yourself.
Yeah, but that's it, but that'sa whole other episode.
Yeah, that'll probably be adifferent episode there.
Yeah, um, but you see it, Idon't think there are many
people out there that woulddisagree, right, that there is a
(12:33):
breakdown within the family,because even those people, um
they're acknowledging there's abreakdown right right there they
.
They know there's somethingwrong um, yeah, you're just kind
of a little hot is this better?
Yeah, actually go again is thisbetter?
Better split the difference, um, but I go.
(12:57):
Yeah, they're sitting here andgoing like there's a breakdown
the other way you know you hearthe term toxic family and and
all that kind of stuff.
So there is still thatbreakdown and I go.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So I'm not saying that that's not true, that there
aren't families that are supertoxic and dysfunctional oh,
absolutely, I mean there areyeah, and I'm not taking away
from that no, um, and there'ssomething to be said, to go hang
on, hang on but I don't thinkthere'd be many people that
would disagree with the familyas in like a tailspin right now.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Trying to catch up to the world.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
And people don't see it as an attack from the devil.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
They don't no.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
They're just like and I go.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
So why then would we want to dip into this, like why
then do we want to restore thefamily and I go?
Yeah, that's a great question.
Um, you want to see bettermental health in our country
take care of everything at home.
Restore the family.
Like you want to see a lot ofthese problems that you're tired
(13:58):
of go away.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Restore the family and I know for you you want to
help education?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh, restore the family.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I know with you, you talk a lot about men leading and
their role.
I mean, this isn't just acover-all.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
There's specificity to each role in the family yeah,
and when we get into furtherepisodes yeah, that's what we're
going to talk about, thosespecific instances, Because I
think people here restore thefamily, and I think a lot of
people want the family restored.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
They want things to change and they want things to
get better.
They just have.
They literally have no clue onwhat to do.
Right, they're just like, okay,I want this to get better.
I just don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
But I go.
Here's why it to get better.
Man, you just go to google andtype in the importance of family
support.
Psychological well-being betterdevelopment family support can
help people build confidence,independence, responsibility and
trust.
Health family support can helppeople behave in healthier ways
and use health care servicesmore effectively.
Academic performance familysupport can help children and
college students perform betteracademically.
Family resilience Familysupport can help families foster
resilience and reduce stress.
Support for racial and ethnicidentity Family support can help
(15:12):
people support their racial andethnic identities.
Support for the elderly Familysupport can help the elderly.
Support during depression andrecovery Family support can be
important for people strugglingwith depression, I mean, and it
just goes on and on and on.
It's almost like there was adesigner who went hey, I'm gonna
put this together because thisis gonna be for your good,
(15:34):
because it is not good for manto be alone right and I go
honestly like and I've beensaying this for a couple years
now you look at all the problemsthat we face, especially here
in in America 80, 85, 90% youcould almost completely
eliminate if you could restorethe family unit.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Right, seen it for years.
Families that are healthier,especially if the child's
struggling, that child's goingto grow more and have an easier
time overcoming obstaclesbecause that family is healthy
at home.
Right even to parent familiesthat have kids that are
(16:20):
struggling, I can tell youfirsthand that doesn't matter if
the family's not healthy,because that kid's going to
struggle probably even more.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Right because they're already on the downward spiral
academically and then at home'snot healthy right so that hurts
them in the classroom as welland I go, and so what we went is
we went.
Hey, we want to, we want toenter into this, we want to
enter into this conversation, wewant to um be able to use our
education, our experience andand all of that and for those of
(16:50):
you that don't know like one ofmy degrees is in counseling.
Um, I've seen this as acounselor.
I've seen this as a lawenforcement officer.
I've seen this as a pastor,I've seen this as a educator,
like.
We've seen this from all thesedifferent perspectives.
And I'm telling you right now,the key to all of it is is not
(17:16):
more medication, it's not.
You know, I'm not going to downnot knock CBT, you know but see
cognitive behavior therapy itsounded like you said CBD.
Right, and that was not at allwhat I was saying.
Um, I'm not gonna knock.
You know, cognitive behaviortherapy I I that is a very
effective tool in its ownwheelhouse by like as it
(17:38):
pertains, and I'm not knockingcounseling and therapy and all
of that, like those, can be veryeffective those are good
short-term tools to use but ifyou're not taking care of the
family.
In fact, 1 Timothy 5.8, that'swhat Paul says, right.
If you do not take care of thefamily, especially the members
of your own household you havedenied the faith and you are
worse than an unbeliever.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I mean ouch.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
And I go a lot of these problems that we're
dealing with.
If we could just get back toeating dinner together.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
You literally took the thought out of my mind.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
If you could get back to spending time together, if
you could get back tocommunicating.
Limiting electronics, limitingelectronics.
If you can get back to all ofthese different things, I'm
telling you right now theseproblems go away, right, like
they they do.
It ain't easy and and, like Isaid, we're we're going to look
(18:32):
more at that in further episodesbut they go away and and you
can.
You can have restoration, youcan have healing, you can have a
better home life.
Right, just doing small andsimple things.
Right.
And most of the things we'retalking about aren't going to
(18:54):
cost you money.
Right, they're not going to.
You know, they're going to takeup some of your time, sure,
yeah, but most of the stuff thatwe're going to talk about
doesn't even cost anything.
It's free.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
It's being selfless.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's doing things differently and you know you
have to.
Because, if you want different,you have to do different.
Right, because if you keepdoing the same thing, you're
going to keep getting the sameresult.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
And we don't talk from a place of any other.
We don't talk from any otherplace than we've experienced
having to change and do thingsdifferently.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, because certain things don't work Right the way
you think they're going to.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Right and you might have an idea that was my foot.
You might have an idea in yourmind that was my foot and Wow,
are you done it?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
wasn't just that it made the noise Now.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I'm terrified to move .
I don't even want to move myfoot.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I don't even know if the mic picked it up, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
You're making a big deal out of it.
You just tell me.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
When you're done, just keep going on.
It was your face that made melaugh, because I went uh-oh,
he's going to say somethingstupid.
Alright, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Are you done?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, but I'm good.
You made me lose my train ofthought.
Your foot made you no it wasthat giggle.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Oh, we've we've experienced, we've had to change
things and do thingsdifferently, and and it's not
always comfortable, it's notalways fun and very rarely is
right, but change is good.
You know you don't have changewithout growth and growth is
painful sometimes, you know yeah, no pain, no gain no pain.
I agree with that to a certainextent I was gonna say there's
(20:34):
limits there, but that's all onanother episode.
But we're gonna have differentepisodes that do talk about, you
know, dinner tableconversations, electronics.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Do you fart in the bed?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Oh God, there's science behind that, but that's
a whole other episode.
Don't even go there right now.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Do you fart while recording podcasts and blame it
on your foot?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
No, what is wrong with you?
Do you go to church together?
Do you pray together?
Do you have uncomfortableconversations with your kids?
Do you think they deserve allthe privacy in the world?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
are you asking?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
me.
No, I know what you think doyou know what your?
Partner spouse thinks about allthese other things.
How often do you go on dates?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Are you, are you done Like?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I could go on and on and on.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Funny, when I was writing down scripts I didn't
see you jumping on.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
You have great ideas and I will jump on those so
because I trust you.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
So we look forward to investigating all of that.
But, yeah, that's what we'retrying to do, right?
Yep, let's restore the family,let's give simple, practical
tools to be able to restore thefamily, and let's fight this one
family at a time.
Amen, right, so until next time.
We love you, we thank you.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And we can't do this without you.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Bye.
Guys, Bye.
sorry honey, I had a lot going on you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I think so and hello and welcome to faith, family and
fishing.
I, I am Josh, and today I amjoined by Debbie.
(00:28):
Who is my?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Wife.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hence the family part of Faith, family Fishing.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Correct.
Well, there's a lot of faiththere too.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
But the fishing is the most important.
Fishing is Anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
That keeps our marriage very healthy.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So if you were tuned into this, this, perhaps you
found us by accident.
Perhaps, um, you were aprevious subscriber to
practically christian, becausewe did not change the feed for
the podcast, we just changed thename of the podcast.
Yep, and we changed the namebecause there's a lot to a name.
Right, a rose by any other namewould smell as sweet, but if
(01:05):
you have a dandelion it is adifferent flower okay I don't.
A dandelion is a flower.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Right, it is a flower I think it's a weed, I don't
know.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I think it's flower um so, same people, different
podcasts, different aim.
You know, our aim on this oneis to restore the family,
especially, I mean that, thatfamily unit yes and um.
I think the first and mostlogical question would be why?
(01:36):
Why?
But why um, and there's a lotof different reasons for that
right Sure.
I will tell you, like doingresearch for this, I found
something that was new to me,but I'm sure that doesn't happen
often.
No, and I'm sure you've heardabout it before, but it's called
it's America, a nation dying indespair.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh, is that a website ?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Well, it's actually from the Manhattan Institute,
okay.
I've heard of them and in thearticle is talking about.
That's horrible, this new thingcalled deaths of despair, which
means deaths by suicide,alcohol abuse or drug overdose.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Goodness.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
And, according to all the research, it has been on
the rise for at least threeyears I mean, I know suicides
have yeah um, suicides havealmost doubled what since covid,
since, oh don't, you can't saythat name I can't say that name
no, you can say the disease, thedisease that shall not be named
(02:41):
, shall not be named.
Yes, you could say that, but butyes, uh, suicides have doubled
um, since 2020.
That makes me sad.
It does, and and I think, whenyou look out at people, at
culture, at america, and, andespecially and I know people you
know are listening to this allover the world, and I'm sure
it's the same over there toothank you, germany, keep going,
(03:04):
that's right, um, you just seedespair, you see broken you see
it on their faces hopelessness.
You see you know, it's justnever going to get better.
And and even with this, deathsof despair.
Um, they said there there's alot of different contributing
(03:26):
factors, but the biggest factorto add to the mix is family
breakdown and again, what we seelike if you look at Pew
Research Center, which again isjust research.
It's just hey, we asked thismany people and here's what we
(03:46):
got.
They were comparing marriagesfrom 1960 to 2014.
Okay and um, the amount ofchildren growing in a two-parent
home in 1960 was 73 percent and2014 it was down to 46%.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Oh man, almost in half.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And that's still 10 years ago.
So, it's probably even lowerthan that now?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Oh, certainly, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
The amount of two-parent households.
Hold on.
I'm trying to read this as I go.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Is it double talking yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
the share of children living in a two-parent
household is at the lowest pointit has been in half a century
in 2024?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
are they talking about 2014?
In 2014 okay, so it's probablyeven lower now well, it says.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Conversely, the share of children living with one
parent stands at 26, which isactually up from 22 in in 2000
well, that makes sense, yeah andjust nine percent in 1960 wow,
so I go I mean the rise ofsingle parent homes I mean
(05:07):
there's a lot of differentreasons for that you know're the
.
However, less than 40 46 percentare living with two parents,
which means 54 percent ofchildren are living with only
one parent.
So that's more than half.
I mean we see this breakdown,um, no matter what the data is.
(05:30):
So so again, and, and we haveto look at this and we have to
go, okay, well, what does thatmatter?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
what?
As far as having two parenthomes, well, and or the
breakdown of family, becauseyeah, because I want to.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I don't want to sit here and go.
It's just having two parenthomes no, because you can have
two parent homes.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
That are bad and you can have a pretty dysfunctional
home right and you can have aone parent home that's loving
and caring and, yeah right,encouraging and all the things
you know, and so it's not a twoparent versus one parent home
you're talking about a twoparent healthy home right and
more.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So I'm talking about just quality family yes, like
because there's a differencebetween I have a family and I
have a good family right becauseeverybody has a family.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know children that have gone through horrific
trauma have families.
You know people that have beenin horrible situations have
families.
That doesn't always mean it's agood family.
Is that that's what you'retalking about, right, like just
because you have?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
you're not saying just because you have a mom and
a dad in your home doesn't meanthat you're not struggling, have
despair, hopeless right becauseeven if you look at like you
know, single dads or not, singledads um well, single dads are
on the rise too yeah, but buteven if you look at um,
fatherless children that that'swhat I was trying to get at, not
(07:07):
single dads um, there they makelike there are stats about
fatherless children and they'remore likely to engage in in
risky behavior, they're morelikely to abuse substance,
they're more likely to drop outof school, they're more likely
to become sexually activeearlier in their life.
(07:28):
Like there, there's all ofthese different things,
Statistics right.
That come from just having afatherless home.
But they also keep into accountthat the father could be in the
home and just not be a presentfather.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Right, right right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
So, like you know, that whole thought process of
okay, you have a two-parent home, but dad is, you know, kind of,
just checked out all the timeDismissive.
Yeah Right Kind of comes in thehouse, you know, goes to the
room watch it, whatever the casemay be Right, right, right.
Um, you know.
So you have that too and I go.
And that's just as dangerous asif dad, you know, as the meme
(08:08):
would say, left to go getcigarettes Right and when to go
get cigarettes right and when togo get some milk right.
Never came back, never cameback, so I go.
I'm not sitting here going.
Oh, the solution to all of thisis simply a two-parent home
right.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
The solution to this is a restoration of the familial
unit.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I like that and I go it's not just okay, does it look
good on the outside?
Right hit the stats on theoutside.
It's not just okay.
Does it look good on theoutside?
Does it hit the stats on theoutside?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It's not only does it look good on the outside, but
it's also doing what it'sdesigned to do Behind closed
doors when no one's looking, andthat's where the faith part
comes from, because I go.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
You know, if God is the one who designed family and
we see family all the way backin Genesis it's actually the
first time we see in scripturewhere God is, is creating
creation and he it's the firsttime we see.
It is not good.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
God creates man on the sixth day and he goes it is
not good that man should bealone, right.
And so he creates a helpmate, awife, um, suitable for him, and
, and, and so then he brings thewoman to the man.
Adam breaks out in song and wehave the first family, right you
(09:22):
know, and god's you know roleto them, you know go be fruitful
, go multiply, go make more ofyou know little ones of you,
yeah and so we have the familyand immediately, as soon as the
family is created it's attacked.
It's attacked, yep and and thedevil tries to break up the
family.
Right why?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
because I mean, I think, from everything I've seen
, a family that's healthy andtogether and unified.
You know, the kids are going tobe protected and taken care of
and wife's taking care ofhusband, husband's taking care
of wife and everyone's lookingout for each other.
But if you're constantly on theattack or on the defense, then
you're you're going to look outfor yourself well, I mean, and
just think about that old adageright the family.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That prays together, stays together eats together,
stays together, sleeps together,stays together fishes together,
stays together there you go you.
I mean seriously, and thereason fishing comes in on this
podcast is is you don'tunderstand the kind of
conversations you can get intowith your teenage child, who
hates talking to you in anyother right aspect who talks to
(10:27):
you via text message but you getout on a boat where they can't
go anywhere.
Well, and you know, hey phonescan't right.
You know, put the phone away,start fishing pay attention,
look around you.
That's true we actually wentout charter fishing.
We went on vacation last yearwe went to the case last summer
(10:51):
and we went out on a chartertrip.
While we were down there and inthe captain hollywood, that is
his name, what they call himshout out um you know we were
talking.
He was telling me he's like man,you'd be shocked at how many
kids like he takes the phoneaway from him.
(11:13):
It's like you know your dadspent a lot of money to bring
you out here to go fish andright, you're not just gonna
waste that by sitting hereplaying on your phone, right and
and like he was saying, likethese kids start catching one or
two fish and then all of asudden, they're excited.
You don't even think about thephone, right?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Because you're getting that dopamine hit and
that's really what they'retrying to do with the phones and
stuff it is.
I mean, we see it in school.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So we see this breakdown of the family and
honestly, I don't think manypeople out there would disagree
with that.
I don't think there are manypeople in this world I mean oh,
what's it?
What's it called?
You see it on shorts all thetime.
The stupid millennials andzillennials and versus.
No, they're like breaking upwith their family.
(11:57):
It has a special name.
I forget what it isemancipation no, it's not
emancipation, because they'realready adults they're already
adults.
it's notructing they're alreadyadults.
It's not emancipation.
Oh, it's like hey, I'm notgoing to Thanksgiving this year
because my family doesn'trespect my right to.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Whatever, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Because maybe I'm tired of their conservative
values and they don't see me forwho I am, and you know.
And I go Get over yourself.
Yeah, but that's it, but that'sa whole other episode.
Yeah, that'll probably be adifferent episode there.
Yeah, um, but you see it, Idon't think there are many
people out there that woulddisagree, right, that there is a
(12:33):
breakdown within the family,because even those people, um
they're acknowledging there's abreakdown right right there they
.
They know there's somethingwrong um, yeah, you're just kind
of a little hot is this better?
Yeah, actually go again is thisbetter?
Better split the difference, um, but I go.
(12:57):
Yeah, they're sitting here andgoing like there's a breakdown
the other way you know you hearthe term toxic family and and
all that kind of stuff.
So there is still thatbreakdown and I go.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So I'm not saying that that's not true, that there
aren't families that are supertoxic and dysfunctional oh,
absolutely, I mean there areyeah, and I'm not taking away
from that no, um, and there'ssomething to be said, to go hang
on, hang on but I don't thinkthere'd be many people that
would disagree with the familyas in like a tailspin right now.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Trying to catch up to the world.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
And people don't see it as an attack from the devil.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
They don't no.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
They're just like and I go.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
So why then would we want to dip into this, like why
then do we want to restore thefamily and I go?
Yeah, that's a great question.
Um, you want to see bettermental health in our country
take care of everything at home.
Restore the family.
Like you want to see a lot ofthese problems that you're tired
(13:58):
of go away.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Restore the family and I know for you you want to
help education?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh, restore the family.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I know with you, you talk a lot about men leading and
their role.
I mean, this isn't just acover-all.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
There's specificity to each role in the family yeah,
and when we get into furtherepisodes yeah, that's what we're
going to talk about, thosespecific instances, Because I
think people here restore thefamily, and I think a lot of
people want the family restored.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
They want things to change and they want things to
get better.
They just have.
They literally have no clue onwhat to do.
Right, they're just like, okay,I want this to get better.
I just don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
But I go.
Here's why it to get better.
Man, you just go to google andtype in the importance of family
support.
Psychological well-being betterdevelopment family support can
help people build confidence,independence, responsibility and
trust.
Health family support can helppeople behave in healthier ways
and use health care servicesmore effectively.
Academic performance familysupport can help children and
college students perform betteracademically.
Family resilience Familysupport can help families foster
resilience and reduce stress.
Support for racial and ethnicidentity Family support can help
(15:12):
people support their racial andethnic identities.
Support for the elderly Familysupport can help the elderly.
Support during depression andrecovery Family support can be
important for people strugglingwith depression, I mean, and it
just goes on and on and on.
It's almost like there was adesigner who went hey, I'm gonna
put this together because thisis gonna be for your good,
(15:34):
because it is not good for manto be alone right and I go
honestly like and I've beensaying this for a couple years
now you look at all the problemsthat we face, especially here
in in America 80, 85, 90% youcould almost completely
eliminate if you could restorethe family unit.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Right, seen it for years.
Families that are healthier,especially if the child's
struggling, that child's goingto grow more and have an easier
time overcoming obstaclesbecause that family is healthy
at home.
Right even to parent familiesthat have kids that are
(16:20):
struggling, I can tell youfirsthand that doesn't matter if
the family's not healthy,because that kid's going to
struggle probably even more.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Right because they're already on the downward spiral
academically and then at home'snot healthy right so that hurts
them in the classroom as welland I go, and so what we went is
we went.
Hey, we want to, we want toenter into this, we want to
enter into this conversation, wewant to um be able to use our
education, our experience andand all of that and for those of
(16:50):
you that don't know like one ofmy degrees is in counseling.
Um, I've seen this as acounselor.
I've seen this as a lawenforcement officer.
I've seen this as a pastor,I've seen this as a educator,
like.
We've seen this from all thesedifferent perspectives.
And I'm telling you right now,the key to all of it is is not
(17:16):
more medication, it's not.
You know, I'm not going to downnot knock CBT, you know but see
cognitive behavior therapy itsounded like you said CBD.
Right, and that was not at allwhat I was saying.
Um, I'm not gonna knock.
You know, cognitive behaviortherapy I I that is a very
effective tool in its ownwheelhouse by like as it
(17:38):
pertains, and I'm not knockingcounseling and therapy and all
of that, like those, can be veryeffective those are good
short-term tools to use but ifyou're not taking care of the
family.
In fact, 1 Timothy 5.8, that'swhat Paul says, right.
If you do not take care of thefamily, especially the members
of your own household you havedenied the faith and you are
worse than an unbeliever.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I mean ouch.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
And I go a lot of these problems that we're
dealing with.
If we could just get back toeating dinner together.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
You literally took the thought out of my mind.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
If you could get back to spending time together, if
you could get back tocommunicating.
Limiting electronics, limitingelectronics.
If you can get back to all ofthese different things, I'm
telling you right now theseproblems go away, right, like
they they do.
It ain't easy and and, like Isaid, we're we're going to look
(18:32):
more at that in further episodesbut they go away and and you
can.
You can have restoration, youcan have healing, you can have a
better home life.
Right, just doing small andsimple things.
Right.
And most of the things we'retalking about aren't going to
(18:54):
cost you money.
Right, they're not going to.
You know, they're going to takeup some of your time, sure,
yeah, but most of the stuff thatwe're going to talk about
doesn't even cost anything.
It's free.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
It's being selfless.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
It's doing things differently and you know you
have to.
Because, if you want different,you have to do different.
Right, because if you keepdoing the same thing, you're
going to keep getting the sameresult.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
And we don't talk from a place of any other.
We don't talk from any otherplace than we've experienced
having to change and do thingsdifferently.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, because certain things don't work Right the way
you think they're going to.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Right and you might have an idea that was my foot.
You might have an idea in yourmind that was my foot and Wow,
are you done it?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
wasn't just that it made the noise Now.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I'm terrified to move .
I don't even want to move myfoot.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I don't even know if the mic picked it up, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
You're making a big deal out of it.
You just tell me.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
When you're done, just keep going on.
It was your face that made melaugh, because I went uh-oh,
he's going to say somethingstupid.
Alright, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Are you done?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, but I'm good.
You made me lose my train ofthought.
Your foot made you no it wasthat giggle.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Oh, we've we've experienced, we've had to change
things and do thingsdifferently, and and it's not
always comfortable, it's notalways fun and very rarely is
right, but change is good.
You know you don't have changewithout growth and growth is
painful sometimes, you know yeah, no pain, no gain no pain.
I agree with that to a certainextent I was gonna say there's
(20:34):
limits there, but that's all onanother episode.
But we're gonna have differentepisodes that do talk about, you
know, dinner tableconversations, electronics.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Do you fart in the bed?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Oh God, there's science behind that, but that's
a whole other episode.
Don't even go there right now.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Do you fart while recording podcasts and blame it
on your foot?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
No, what is wrong with you?
Do you go to church together?
Do you pray together?
Do you have uncomfortableconversations with your kids?
Do you think they deserve allthe privacy in the world?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
are you asking?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
me.
No, I know what you think doyou know what your?
Partner spouse thinks about allthese other things.
How often do you go on dates?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Are you, are you done Like?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I could go on and on and on.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Funny, when I was writing down scripts I didn't
see you jumping on.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
You have great ideas and I will jump on those so
because I trust you.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
So we look forward to investigating all of that.
But, yeah, that's what we'retrying to do, right?
Yep, let's restore the family,let's give simple, practical
tools to be able to restore thefamily, and let's fight this one
family at a time.
Amen, right, so until next time.
We love you, we thank you.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And we can't do this without you.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Bye.
Guys, Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.