September 18, 2025 • 25 mins
Ever feel like your family life is one chaotic moment after another? What if a simple shift in mindset could transform that chaos into calm?
This powerful episode explores how preparation isn't just a nice-to-have skill—it's essential for family strength and stability. Through personal stories (including a misplaced bistec and frozen lettuce), we reveal how even imperfect preparation creates significantly better outcomes than no preparation at all.
Discover practical wisdom about budgeting your time the same way you budget money. Learn why shoppers save 25% at the grocery store simply by making a list and using cash. Understand how Parkinson's Law ("work expands to fill the time available") affects your family dynamics and how setting firm boundaries between work and home creates space for what truly matters.
We tackle the uncomfortable truth that tomorrow is coming whether you're ready or not. The doctor's appointment, the difficult conversation, aging itself—preparation doesn't make these things disappear, but it transforms how you experience them. And for parents of teens, we offer perspective on helping young people understand how today's choices will impact their lives a decade from now.
This isn't about perfection—it's about progress. Even small steps toward better preparation can dramatically reduce stress and create more meaningful family connections. Share this episode with someone struggling with constant chaos and help them see that change is possible starting today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am hello and welcome to another episode of
faith, family and fishing, whereour aim is to strengthen the
family yes, it is and on today'spodcast.
Here's what we're going to betalking about.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
You ready I wondered why you were playing the Lion
King.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
First of all I wasn't playing the Lion King.
Okay, I was just looking upthat one song and it's on that.
It's being prepared.
Do you know how much crazy wecould cut out of our lives If we
were just to prepare?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
And it's funny you say that because this morning I
know you made Kayla some dinnerlast night.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Nope, that wasn't for .
That was specifically for herlunch.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
That's what I'm saying, that's what I meant.
You made her specific foods forher lunch that it wasn't
properly put away.
So I had to throw it out thismorning and I was getting your
stuff ready, like I was puttingyour stuff in your lunchbox and
then I was making some stuff forkale, like there was.
There was a lot of things goingon and I thought to myself self
(01:11):
self.
We really went out of our wayyesterday as a family to be
prepared for this week and Ididn't want to.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I know it was so so just to give a little context of
the story real quick okay, goahead um, so we were yesterday.
After church we're sitting inthe office because the sharing
center is open and we're kind oftalking about what this week
was going to look like what wewanted for dinners, what we
(01:40):
wanted for lunch, put together agrocery, went to the grocery
store on mission, very quickly,got everything, went home and I
was going back and forth becauseI really wanted is that you
making that noise?
No, what is that?
I don't know it's my phone,because I really wanted BLTs for
lunch.
Yes yes, but I knew in order tohave blts, I would have to get
(02:11):
bacon and I would have to cookbacon, and we were already
running out of time.
In the day it was already likefour o'clock and I went.
I don't want to spend the restof you know, my day, my day,
cooking, you know, and then it'snighttime, and then you know
okay, now wake up and let's goto work right and so you know we
, we did wind up doing that,getting the bacon, getting the
(02:33):
steak for kayla so she couldhave.
It's not chorizo, because that'sthat's yeah what beast the
steak, what Bistec, bistec,that's what I'm calling it.
Okay, so then we made it.
It got put in the oven as Imake you know, most of my food
gets cooked outside Got put inthe oven, and then that's the
(02:56):
context.
So, I guess you didn't reallyneed to know all of that.
Nope, it will come back uplater, I promise.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I mean, you felt like you needed to, that's okay.
So I wake up this morning, Istart preparing a few things.
One of the kids gets theirstuff ready the night before,
the other one gets a littlesupport and then I pack your
stuff.
So I'm packing Josh's stuff andthen I go to go look for her
stuff and uh-oh, this bisteznowhere to be found.
(03:28):
I start looking everywhere.
Then I notice a plate in theoven.
So I put the oven there it isand I think to myself well, self
self.
This could cause bacteria andcould kill somebody.
So I gave a little sniff andthrew it in the trash.
So it was in the trash so.
So we had to improvise.
But then I was putting yourstuff in your lunchbox and I
thought to myself we went out ofour way this last night.
(03:53):
Stop.
We went out of our wayyesterday to make sure we were
prepared for this week, and evenstill I'm putting the lettuce
in your lunchbox, but then I hadto cut off half of the top of
it because it froze in thefridge and I in your lunchbox,
but then I had to cut off halfof the top of it because it
froze in the fridge and I went.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you prepare,
sometimes it's just like whoa,no, not enough, no.
I am reminded of a famous quotethat most men in the audience
have heard luck favors theprepared mind I wasn't done
talking because you cut me off.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I could not imagine you had something to say.
I wasn't there.
I couldn't imagine how franticI would have been had there been
nothing right done.
I mean, you cooked for hoursyesterday and you know, a little
hiccup here, a little hiccupthere, granted everything.
Ended upcup there, grantedeverything ended up being fine.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was more than fine .
I don't know if you tasted anyof that food.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I still haven't eaten today, so I have no idea
Because you weren't prepared.
No, I didn't want to eatanything, but I just couldn't
imagine having done nothing andbeing but.
We lived like that for a while,years and years and years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
And that's really what was driving this.
Again.
You know, if our aim is tostrengthen the family, one of
the best ways we can do that isby going hey, you know what you
need to do.
You need to be prepared, likewe've had times where, honestly,
we didn't even know there was ahurricane coming.
For those of you that don'tknow, we live in florida right
here in the us of a?
(05:27):
um.
So hurricanes aren't somethingnecessarily new.
We don't get hit with themevery single hurricane season,
right um, but if you're fromflorida like I, am it is a part
of life.
You may not get it this year,but you may get it twice next
year, you know.
And so there have been times wedidn't even know there was a
hurricane coming part of life.
You may not get it this year,but you may get it twice next
year, you know.
And so there've been times wedidn't even know there was a
(05:48):
hurricane coming and stilldidn't have to freak out because
we're prepared, right, you knowwe, we have things, we're ready
to go, we, you know, so wedon't have to freak out, and,
and for a lot of us that's howwe live life just freaked out
all the time chaos and and allof that.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, yeah,because, right because and I get
(06:09):
it, you know, the biggestreason I think a lot of people
freak out and we know what thisis like is, uh, money, right,
yep, um, you know, and and whenyou're trying to live your life
with money ruling it, you'renever going to feel prepared
because you're not going to beable to go.
(06:29):
Hey, you know what?
I'm going to go, drop $400 on agenerator and that way, right,
you know, if a hurricane doescome, we have power still, you
know, and then that's going tomake everything else in your
life that much harder when youdo need it.
Right, something as simple ashonestly understand, if you're
listening to this, you spend Ithink it was 20% less at the
(06:52):
grocery store if you have a list, a prepared list, before you go
to the store.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Which makes me laugh.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
And the thing about it, you spend even less if you
use cash.
I think it's another like fivepercent.
So you could save a quarter ofyour grocery bill just by being
prepared, having a list andusing cash oh, did you say 10
and five percent?
No, I said 20 and five percentwhich is 25, which is a quarter
it is um and I go.
(07:21):
And that is again.
You know another fun littlesaying right, people don't plan
to fail, they fail to plan.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
A hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Now on the and I get it, cause I kind of live on the
other side of that realm rightwhen I over plan.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And and at some point you got to pull the trigger and
execute said plan, right, youcan't just be mulling it over
still Right.
Trigger and execute said plan,right, you can't just be mulling
it over, still right, um.
But on the same hand, if you'renot prepared, you're going to
live in chaos absolutely you'rebut you don't sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
But people don't even realize that they're in chaos
because of their lack ofpreparation.
They just keep going.
I don't understand.
I don understand.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And you're exhausted all the time and you're tired
and you're sitting here going.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
This is not what I signed up for Right.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
This is I don't like this, like you know, and I get
that, even with our schedule andanyone who knows us, I mean
we're, we're hitting we busy 60to 80 hours a week.
You know at work, right, youknow and and I go, but we can do
it, because that's the biggestquestion how do you guys do all
(08:30):
of this?
We get asked that probablythree times a week by different
people honestly, because we lookat time the same way we look at
money and we budget our time.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Got to make the most of what we have.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, yep, and I know that's not exciting.
I know it's not fun to sit downon a Friday and go okay, what
does this week?
Look like Right, look likeright, but you have to do that
stuff we even plan for possiblespontaneity.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
We may go do something extra this week, so on
this day, right we can plan forthis, but in case we may also
go do this right and that way,you know we have time to go to
the beach, we have time to go.
You know you have time to gofishing like beach, we have time
to go.
You know you have time to gofishing like different things
like that.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes my daystarts at 430 in the morning.
(09:15):
If I'm going to the gym in themorning, I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
And then it ends at 430 in the afternoon and it ends
at 430 in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yes, because I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
But I'm going, let's watch TV.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And I'm falling asleep.
That's on purpose, it's beingprepared going.
This is what we're going to do,because we also want to plan
for quality time with each other, quality time with the kids.
You know, I do think, comingfrom where we used to be now, I
mean, we've come a long way,baby.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Well, and and I'm going to look it up real quick
cause I don't know it off thetop of my head Right, work will
always take up.
There's a quote, and I reallyliked it back in the day.
There it is um, work willalways expand to fill the time
available for its completion, aconcept known as parkinson's law
(10:07):
.
Right, and this means that ifyou give yourself more time to
do a task, the task willnaturally take that long to do.
Right, all right, and and Ibring that up because a lot of
times you do have to look attime the same way you look at
money.
So if you follow like DaveRamsey, dave Ramsey says to
(10:27):
budget every dollar, assignevery dollar something, because
if you don't assign that dollarsomething, it's going to go to
something else.
You have to do the same thingwith your time you have to be
prepared.
Because, again, I have seenpeople who hit a major
catastrophe in their life.
It could be a car accident, itcould be a sudden illness, it
(10:48):
could be an unexpected death.
It could be a sudden illness,it could be an unexpected death,
it could be an expected death,it could be like any of that and
and it is completely shockingyour system and you completely
freeze.
It's a condition.
You know that we call conditionblack right.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Code black or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Where you just freeze .
Speaker 1 (11:08):
You don't do anything Right.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then now you're behind, and now you gotta run
twice as fast to catch up.
And I go where.
If you would have taken timebeforehand, began with the end
of mind, you could have made aplan for that easily avoided it
right you, you know, and whenyou look at things like the
military, for instance, I meanthey have contingency plans for
(11:34):
anything.
I just watched a video todayfrom the Y files at lunch where
it was contingency plans forzombies for the zombie
apocalypse.
Like the military, legit has acontingency plan for the zombie
apocalypse.
Legit has a contingency planfor the zombie apocalypse okay,
and it's not zombies the way wethink of zombies.
(11:55):
But one of the ways that theywere talking about how they
already have this contingencyplan is because there's already
movies about zombie apocalypses,so the common person at least
has some kind of an idea of howto act if this were ever to
Right.
I was like wow, like I've neverwatched any of those movies.
Am I behind on this?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
It must be.
I've never watched them.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And and I go.
And that's the thing, though,Like when you don't assign time
to things, it will take up allof the time that you give it.
So so, again, if you're sittinghere going, you know it should
take me about when.
If you go, no, it's going totake, I'm going to get this done
in a half an hour.
It's going to take half an hour.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Right, you know, the Bible talks about being prepared
.
Where.
Where it talks about beingprepared for the masters coming
back.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Be awake, yep, yeah, jesus says that right.
And I go, and in a lot ofplaces I mean, a couple of weeks
ago I just preached about thatright being, just preached about
that right being awake.
Yep, stay awake, stay vigilant,you know?
And um, so, in romans 13, youknow, that's what, that's what
paul's telling him.
He's sitting here going likeyou need to be prepared for this
(13:10):
, you need to be awake, you needto be doing the things that
you're supposed to be doing,right, don't just wait.
And that that was theillustration I gave right when I
was younger.
You know my parents would leave, you know, and and be like, hey
, you better clean the kitchenbefore I get home, right, and I
would just sit in our livingroom because you would see the
headlights, you would know, andyou would know they were home.
You knew you had like 30seconds.
(13:32):
You know to be in the kitchenfrom the time you see the
headlights to you know the timethey're in the house.
Right.
And that's exactly what you do.
You run to the kitchen, youfill up the sink, you know you
start doing dishes, and you'relike oh, oh, I didn't even know
you were home.
Yeah, I've been doing this Likeand that's how a lot of us live
life, and then we live life sochaotically, that way, and
nothing, ever Nothing'shappening.
(13:55):
Right, but nothing's actuallygetting done.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
And you're a dog chasing their tail.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Literally Yep.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
And I go.
That's not good.
Like, one of the things we doat the house is we have an off
time.
Yep, you know we go, okay, fromeight o'clock, and it's usually
not eight, to be honest.
It usually is like nine nine 30.
You know, all, not eight, to behonest.
(14:21):
It usually is like nine ninethirty.
Um, you know, all right, soit's usually like nine thirty
and I don't want to.
I was trying to give us grace.
It needs to be earlier.
We need we need to be better atthat um, but usually it's nine
thirty, not usually it is ninethirty um.
See how chaotic it comes whenyou're just like you know, and
this is from someone who, likewe, really try to practice this
(14:42):
930 at night.
That's it, no more.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
For me, like you know , when I get off of work, that's
it, no more.
Yep, like I will deal witheverything at work tomorrow.
Yep.
When I go hey, it's time for meto leave here.
It is time for me to leave here.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And, hey, it's time for me to leave here.
It is time for me to leave here, and now I need to be more
invested and involved inwhatever's going on.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
And that's the thing.
Like you're not invested inyour marriage, in your parenting
, in in whatever kind of your,whatever relationship, whoever
you are, you're not invested inthe world because you're still
stuck somewhere else you knowand I just when was it?
I don't know a couple monthsago, I think.
I sent you that.
Uh, research from carrie newnewhoff yeah, I was like new
(15:28):
wolf.
I was like that didn't soundright.
Um, where I think it's up tolike.
I think it was like 80 ofpeople are answering emails or
text messages after work hours.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
But kind of life is that right, cause then you're
just spinning wheels, going,going, going, going, going and
the next thing you know, youlook up and it's still never
getting done.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Your to do list doesn't get smaller.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
No Cause you go if I just do these last few things.
Those last few things.
You're going not be theretomorrow like that's heavy it's
true, though that's heavy thoughit is heavy, you gotta say well
, I mean I go.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
What I was gonna say wasn't as deep, so I don't want
to like honestly, after losingmy mom, I think about stuff like
that well, I go, there'sliterally.
You know, we've about thatafter after dad passed and it
was like man, like you're notcause I was passing.
And yes, I do see it was alittle bit different.
Like my dad was very unexpected, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But then you had, you talked to him and then he was
gone a few hours later my mom, Ihad to watch.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, you know and, and I'm not talking about that,
but like it was just very likeoh crap, we're not promised
tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, you know that this is it, you know, and and
one day.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That day is going to come for all of us.
What do you want people to sayat your funeral?
Right, you know, and my bigthing, what I was gonna say,
that wasn't as deep as any ofwhat we were just talking about.
Right, there was.
This is everybody in my houseknows.
Once I take a shower, that's it.
That's it all I'm doing therest of it, yeah, all I'm doing
and and, and.
It's funny because there aredays I will be like staying
dirty and I'm begging you totake a shower and I'm like nope,
(17:10):
it's too early.
It's too early.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
It's too early because once I take a shower,
that's it and I've told him Idon't care what you have to do,
I'll do all those, those things.
Just go take a dang shower.
Please, for the love of God.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And and I go.
But it goes back to and I don'twant to drift too far off Right
being prepared.
It goes back to going if you,if you're prepared and you have
to face something.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
It makes it so much easier, right, even if it's
something that's hard.
It's going to be hard, but itwon't be as hard and it won't be
as strenuous or straining ordraining and the problem is too
many of y'all in school went.
Oh, I work better underpressure no, you just know you
have to get it done because youdon't have other choice right
it's how you work better underpressure.
You don't literally.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You literally do not have a choice like it has to get
done and now it's yeah andthat's how we treat our lives
and we wonder why then you goback and you look at it and you
go I would have done this betterand this better and that right,
you have high blood pressure,anxiety, stress um ulcers,
stomach issues I mean thinkabout how many people our age
are looking back at things going.
(18:18):
If I could go back, here's whatI would do right.
And I'm sitting here going,then why didn't you do that?
to begin when you were there,right, you know, andy, and in
the office, you know, at the net, last episode spoiler warning.
You know it's only been 14years so right but um, when he
was like.
(18:38):
I wish I wish I you could knowit was the good old days when
it's the good old days.
And I go and you can Yep,because you can make it whatever
you want to make it Right.
How many times have I told youour life can look however we
want our life to look like?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And when we started navigating things differently in
our life, it was, it was workto get out of the habit of the
chaos because you get soentrenched in doing things
sporadically and chaotically.
You actually get used to thatnormal and it's like you almost
your body, your brain,everything has to get used to
(19:13):
going.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
No, no, no, we don't function like that anymore and
keep in mind it's super easy tofall back into that so easy I
mean a couple of weeks ago.
Right we're.
We're out to dinner everysingle night because we didn't
take the 10 minutes in that slotthat we had right to put
together a list and go to thegrocery store and then what
happens?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
like from again our own example.
I remember like monday had comeand it was like oh, we'll get
to it tomorrow got to get.
I was supposed to do this but,we didn't go to the store and
that was going going to be my, Iwas going to get it then, and
then it just hindered so manythings during the week.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
But then you start hitting that phrase right, I'll
get to it tomorrow, I'll get toit tomorrow, I'll get to it
tomorrow, and what you notice istomorrow actually never comes.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And I carry a high stress level where I go.
I don't, I don't even care, Idon't even care.
There you go, I don't even carewhat we do.
We got to do something rightnow, like something has to
happen right now.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, but then you get frantic.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I personally do get frantic because my mindset is
going I'm not going to sit hereand get stuck back in the same
thing over and over again.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
So I kind of go into freak out mode and it's like
nope, nope, we're not doing thisRight, but that's just as
stressful.
And that's how most of us livelife, though that's what I'm
getting at.
Like you want a stronger family?
Here's what you need to do.
You need to set a schedule foryour family.
You need to be able to go.
Hey, yeah, you know you gotlittle kids.
It may be super early for you.
You may go.
(20:38):
Hey, it's six o'clock,everything's done, Even if it's
hey, from six to eight.
This is just family time.
I can pick up things againafter eight.
I mean, we did that for yearswhen the kids were real small.
I was still in school, you know, I was trying to get done with
my degree and I would come homefrom work.
(20:59):
I'd usually get home about 630,from 630 to like 830.
Right that, from 6.30 to like8.30.
Right, that was it.
That was my time to play withthe kids.
Yep, to give you a break fromthe kids To.
You know, really just be a dad,right?
And then once the kids went tobed, I would go all right.
Now it's time for me to go toschool.
Yep.
And then open up the computerand then boom, I'm on school for
the next three to four hours.
(21:19):
Go to four hours, right, and itwas a grind and it was, yeah,
it was exhausting and it wastime consuming, but the benefit
that came out of it we wouldn'tbe where we are right far
superseded the temporary um, notwhat was the word?
I'm looking for it, thetemporary inconvenience, if you
will but it's the same thingwhen jesus goes, hey, whoever
(21:41):
goes to build a tower, do theynot count the cost first?
Again, that's being prepared.
That's sitting here, going.
Hold on, let's have a plan here.
Let's stop working willy nilly,let's go.
Here's what we're trying to getto and here's how we're going
to get there.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I will say once you start doing that and you enter
into a space that you are aroundpeople that don't do that, you
start looking at it, going whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on.
And I have found being inspaces where people weren't
functioning like that, where Iwas like hang on, this is
completely chaotic.
Let's sit down and let's have aplan, which wasn't me normally,
(22:17):
and it's beneficial because youcan help your friends and your
family and the people you careabout and the people you work
with, and go hang on.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And if you're a planner, start helping your
friends and family.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, that's not just for you.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Sit down with them and go like, hey, let's look
through this Like you got tounderstand, even if you look at
like Strength Finders right,strength Finders 2.0.
Right, one of the strengths isstrategic planning, you know,
and it's sitting here and going,ok, hold on, this is where
we're trying to get to.
Now let's plan on how to getthere.
Right.
Be prepared to get there.
Right Be prepared it's coming.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
It is.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Regardless of what you want to believe, tomorrow is
going to be here.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yeah and again whether you're ready or not,
right.
And what you do today is goingto affect tomorrow the test is
coming, the interview is coming,the scan is coming, the
doctor's appointment is coming.
Yeah.
You know the calm, theuncomfortable conversation is
coming Age is coming yeah.
It is going to happen, whetheryou're ready or not.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, I'm thinking about it.
I mean, I sit down and eat justcheeseburger after cheeseburger
after cheeseburger at my age.
Now I, yeah, what about 10years from now?
(23:31):
Right, and the amount ofcheeseburgers changed from when
you were 18.
What do you mean?
Like you can't eat?
Oh yeah, 35 cheese.
No, I don't.
I don't eat as much as I usedto, but but it's the same thing.
I tell our son all the time.
I'm trying to get him tounderstand that at 17, the
choices you make now are goingto affect you at 27 well, yeah,
we tell him it's going to affectyour wife, your kids, good, bad
or indifferent.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
It's going to impact.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
That's one of the things we try to get through to
the kids at school too.
Like right, you know, like hey,I get, you're only 14, but
today impacts tomorrow, 10 yearsfrom now.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You, every moment Think about that.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's less than what .
That's three years older andhalf of the time you've been
alive.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
You're going to get there much faster than you
anticipate.
And you can do it calmly andcollectively, and you know, with
a plan and organized, or youcan be in complete chaos and
disarray and then step into youradulthood like that.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
So if you're listening to this this week and
you're sitting here and going,oh, that's me, do things
different, you can, you stillgot time?
Yep.
And if you're sitting here andgoing, hey, I know someone that
needs to hear this, share thisepisode with them and can I
share a little bit of morbidinformation morbid, or yeah well
, some people might think it'smorbid.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, um, after the passing of my mom I did find out
you can actually pay for yourfuneral in advance.
Honestly, I know it's a weirdconversation to have but it
saves your kids Gosh save, saveyour kids.
It's something you could do inadvance to spare them some grief
and have everything prepared,and it's not as expensive as you
think it is.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
So until next time, we love you, we thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Can't do this without you.
Bye, guys, bye.
I am hello and welcome to another episode of
faith, family and fishing, whereour aim is to strengthen the
family yes, it is and on today'spodcast.
Here's what we're going to betalking about.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
You ready I wondered why you were playing the Lion
King.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
First of all I wasn't playing the Lion King.
Okay, I was just looking upthat one song and it's on that.
It's being prepared.
Do you know how much crazy wecould cut out of our lives If we
were just to prepare?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
And it's funny you say that because this morning I
know you made Kayla some dinnerlast night.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Nope, that wasn't for .
That was specifically for herlunch.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
That's what I'm saying, that's what I meant.
You made her specific foods forher lunch that it wasn't
properly put away.
So I had to throw it out thismorning and I was getting your
stuff ready, like I was puttingyour stuff in your lunchbox and
then I was making some stuff forkale, like there was.
There was a lot of things goingon and I thought to myself self
(01:11):
self.
We really went out of our wayyesterday as a family to be
prepared for this week and Ididn't want to.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I know it was so so just to give a little context of
the story real quick okay, goahead um, so we were yesterday.
After church we're sitting inthe office because the sharing
center is open and we're kind oftalking about what this week
was going to look like what wewanted for dinners, what we
(01:40):
wanted for lunch, put together agrocery, went to the grocery
store on mission, very quickly,got everything, went home and I
was going back and forth becauseI really wanted is that you
making that noise?
No, what is that?
I don't know it's my phone,because I really wanted BLTs for
lunch.
Yes yes, but I knew in order tohave blts, I would have to get
(02:11):
bacon and I would have to cookbacon, and we were already
running out of time.
In the day it was already likefour o'clock and I went.
I don't want to spend the restof you know, my day, my day,
cooking, you know, and then it'snighttime, and then you know
okay, now wake up and let's goto work right and so you know we
, we did wind up doing that,getting the bacon, getting the
(02:33):
steak for kayla so she couldhave.
It's not chorizo, because that'sthat's yeah what beast the
steak, what Bistec, bistec,that's what I'm calling it.
Okay, so then we made it.
It got put in the oven as Imake you know, most of my food
gets cooked outside Got put inthe oven, and then that's the
(02:56):
context.
So, I guess you didn't reallyneed to know all of that.
Nope, it will come back uplater, I promise.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I mean, you felt like you needed to, that's okay.
So I wake up this morning, Istart preparing a few things.
One of the kids gets theirstuff ready the night before,
the other one gets a littlesupport and then I pack your
stuff.
So I'm packing Josh's stuff andthen I go to go look for her
stuff and uh-oh, this bisteznowhere to be found.
(03:28):
I start looking everywhere.
Then I notice a plate in theoven.
So I put the oven there it isand I think to myself well, self
self.
This could cause bacteria andcould kill somebody.
So I gave a little sniff andthrew it in the trash.
So it was in the trash so.
So we had to improvise.
But then I was putting yourstuff in your lunchbox and I
thought to myself we went out ofour way this last night.
(03:53):
Stop.
We went out of our wayyesterday to make sure we were
prepared for this week, and evenstill I'm putting the lettuce
in your lunchbox, but then I hadto cut off half of the top of
it because it froze in thefridge and I in your lunchbox,
but then I had to cut off halfof the top of it because it
froze in the fridge and I went.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you prepare,
sometimes it's just like whoa,no, not enough, no.
I am reminded of a famous quotethat most men in the audience
have heard luck favors theprepared mind I wasn't done
talking because you cut me off.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I could not imagine you had something to say.
I wasn't there.
I couldn't imagine how franticI would have been had there been
nothing right done.
I mean, you cooked for hoursyesterday and you know, a little
hiccup here, a little hiccupthere, granted everything.
Ended upcup there, grantedeverything ended up being fine.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was more than fine .
I don't know if you tasted anyof that food.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I still haven't eaten today, so I have no idea
Because you weren't prepared.
No, I didn't want to eatanything, but I just couldn't
imagine having done nothing andbeing but.
We lived like that for a while,years and years and years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
And that's really what was driving this.
Again.
You know, if our aim is tostrengthen the family, one of
the best ways we can do that isby going hey, you know what you
need to do.
You need to be prepared, likewe've had times where, honestly,
we didn't even know there was ahurricane coming.
For those of you that don'tknow, we live in florida right
here in the us of a?
(05:27):
um.
So hurricanes aren't somethingnecessarily new.
We don't get hit with themevery single hurricane season,
right um, but if you're fromflorida like I, am it is a part
of life.
You may not get it this year,but you may get it twice next
year, you know.
And so there have been times wedidn't even know there was a
hurricane coming part of life.
You may not get it this year,but you may get it twice next
year, you know.
And so there've been times wedidn't even know there was a
(05:48):
hurricane coming and stilldidn't have to freak out because
we're prepared, right, you knowwe, we have things, we're ready
to go, we, you know, so wedon't have to freak out, and,
and for a lot of us that's howwe live life just freaked out
all the time chaos and and allof that.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, yeah,because, right because and I get
(06:09):
it, you know, the biggestreason I think a lot of people
freak out and we know what thisis like is, uh, money, right,
yep, um, you know, and and whenyou're trying to live your life
with money ruling it, you'renever going to feel prepared
because you're not going to beable to go.
(06:29):
Hey, you know what?
I'm going to go, drop $400 on agenerator and that way, right,
you know, if a hurricane doescome, we have power still, you
know, and then that's going tomake everything else in your
life that much harder when youdo need it.
Right, something as simple ashonestly understand, if you're
listening to this, you spend Ithink it was 20% less at the
(06:52):
grocery store if you have a list, a prepared list, before you go
to the store.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Which makes me laugh.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
And the thing about it, you spend even less if you
use cash.
I think it's another like fivepercent.
So you could save a quarter ofyour grocery bill just by being
prepared, having a list andusing cash oh, did you say 10
and five percent?
No, I said 20 and five percentwhich is 25, which is a quarter
it is um and I go.
(07:21):
And that is again.
You know another fun littlesaying right, people don't plan
to fail, they fail to plan.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
A hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Now on the and I get it, cause I kind of live on the
other side of that realm rightwhen I over plan.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And and at some point you got to pull the trigger and
execute said plan, right, youcan't just be mulling it over
still Right.
Trigger and execute said plan,right, you can't just be mulling
it over, still right, um.
But on the same hand, if you'renot prepared, you're going to
live in chaos absolutely you'rebut you don't sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
But people don't even realize that they're in chaos
because of their lack ofpreparation.
They just keep going.
I don't understand.
I don understand.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And you're exhausted all the time and you're tired
and you're sitting here going.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
This is not what I signed up for Right.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
This is I don't like this, like you know, and I get
that, even with our schedule andanyone who knows us, I mean
we're, we're hitting we busy 60to 80 hours a week.
You know at work, right, youknow and and I go, but we can do
it, because that's the biggestquestion how do you guys do all
(08:30):
of this?
We get asked that probablythree times a week by different
people honestly, because we lookat time the same way we look at
money and we budget our time.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Got to make the most of what we have.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, yep, and I know that's not exciting.
I know it's not fun to sit downon a Friday and go okay, what
does this week?
Look like Right, look likeright, but you have to do that
stuff we even plan for possiblespontaneity.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
We may go do something extra this week, so on
this day, right we can plan forthis, but in case we may also
go do this right and that way,you know we have time to go to
the beach, we have time to go.
You know you have time to gofishing like beach, we have time
to go.
You know you have time to gofishing like different things
like that.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes my daystarts at 430 in the morning.
(09:15):
If I'm going to the gym in themorning, I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
And then it ends at 430 in the afternoon and it ends
at 430 in the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yes, because I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
But I'm going, let's watch TV.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And I'm falling asleep.
That's on purpose, it's beingprepared going.
This is what we're going to do,because we also want to plan
for quality time with each other, quality time with the kids.
You know, I do think, comingfrom where we used to be now, I
mean, we've come a long way,baby.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Well, and and I'm going to look it up real quick
cause I don't know it off thetop of my head Right, work will
always take up.
There's a quote, and I reallyliked it back in the day.
There it is um, work willalways expand to fill the time
available for its completion, aconcept known as parkinson's law
(10:07):
.
Right, and this means that ifyou give yourself more time to
do a task, the task willnaturally take that long to do.
Right, all right, and and Ibring that up because a lot of
times you do have to look attime the same way you look at
money.
So if you follow like DaveRamsey, dave Ramsey says to
(10:27):
budget every dollar, assignevery dollar something, because
if you don't assign that dollarsomething, it's going to go to
something else.
You have to do the same thingwith your time you have to be
prepared.
Because, again, I have seenpeople who hit a major
catastrophe in their life.
It could be a car accident, itcould be a sudden illness, it
(10:48):
could be an unexpected death.
It could be a sudden illness,it could be an unexpected death,
it could be an expected death,it could be like any of that and
and it is completely shockingyour system and you completely
freeze.
It's a condition.
You know that we call conditionblack right.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Code black or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Where you just freeze .
Speaker 1 (11:08):
You don't do anything Right.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then now you're behind, and now you gotta run
twice as fast to catch up.
And I go where.
If you would have taken timebeforehand, began with the end
of mind, you could have made aplan for that easily avoided it
right you, you know, and whenyou look at things like the
military, for instance, I meanthey have contingency plans for
(11:34):
anything.
I just watched a video todayfrom the Y files at lunch where
it was contingency plans forzombies for the zombie
apocalypse.
Like the military, legit has acontingency plan for the zombie
apocalypse.
Legit has a contingency planfor the zombie apocalypse okay,
and it's not zombies the way wethink of zombies.
(11:55):
But one of the ways that theywere talking about how they
already have this contingencyplan is because there's already
movies about zombie apocalypses,so the common person at least
has some kind of an idea of howto act if this were ever to
Right.
I was like wow, like I've neverwatched any of those movies.
Am I behind on this?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
It must be.
I've never watched them.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
And and I go.
And that's the thing, though,Like when you don't assign time
to things, it will take up allof the time that you give it.
So so, again, if you're sittinghere going, you know it should
take me about when.
If you go, no, it's going totake, I'm going to get this done
in a half an hour.
It's going to take half an hour.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Right, you know, the Bible talks about being prepared
.
Where.
Where it talks about beingprepared for the masters coming
back.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Be awake, yep, yeah, jesus says that right.
And I go, and in a lot ofplaces I mean, a couple of weeks
ago I just preached about thatright being, just preached about
that right being awake.
Yep, stay awake, stay vigilant,you know?
And um, so, in romans 13, youknow, that's what, that's what
paul's telling him.
He's sitting here going likeyou need to be prepared for this
(13:10):
, you need to be awake, you needto be doing the things that
you're supposed to be doing,right, don't just wait.
And that that was theillustration I gave right when I
was younger.
You know my parents would leave, you know, and and be like, hey
, you better clean the kitchenbefore I get home, right, and I
would just sit in our livingroom because you would see the
headlights, you would know, andyou would know they were home.
You knew you had like 30seconds.
(13:32):
You know to be in the kitchenfrom the time you see the
headlights to you know the timethey're in the house.
Right.
And that's exactly what you do.
You run to the kitchen, youfill up the sink, you know you
start doing dishes, and you'relike oh, oh, I didn't even know
you were home.
Yeah, I've been doing this Likeand that's how a lot of us live
life, and then we live life sochaotically, that way, and
nothing, ever Nothing'shappening.
(13:55):
Right, but nothing's actuallygetting done.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
And you're a dog chasing their tail.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Literally Yep.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
And I go.
That's not good.
Like, one of the things we doat the house is we have an off
time.
Yep, you know we go, okay, fromeight o'clock, and it's usually
not eight, to be honest.
It usually is like nine nine 30.
You know, all, not eight, to behonest.
(14:21):
It usually is like nine ninethirty.
Um, you know, all right, soit's usually like nine thirty
and I don't want to.
I was trying to give us grace.
It needs to be earlier.
We need we need to be better atthat um, but usually it's nine
thirty, not usually it is ninethirty um.
See how chaotic it comes whenyou're just like you know, and
this is from someone who, likewe, really try to practice this
(14:42):
930 at night.
That's it, no more.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
For me, like you know , when I get off of work, that's
it, no more.
Yep, like I will deal witheverything at work tomorrow.
Yep.
When I go hey, it's time for meto leave here.
It is time for me to leave here.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
And, hey, it's time for me to leave here.
It is time for me to leave here, and now I need to be more
invested and involved inwhatever's going on.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
And that's the thing.
Like you're not invested inyour marriage, in your parenting
, in in whatever kind of your,whatever relationship, whoever
you are, you're not invested inthe world because you're still
stuck somewhere else you knowand I just when was it?
I don't know a couple monthsago, I think.
I sent you that.
Uh, research from carrie newnewhoff yeah, I was like new
(15:28):
wolf.
I was like that didn't soundright.
Um, where I think it's up tolike.
I think it was like 80 ofpeople are answering emails or
text messages after work hours.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
But kind of life is that right, cause then you're
just spinning wheels, going,going, going, going, going and
the next thing you know, youlook up and it's still never
getting done.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Your to do list doesn't get smaller.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
No Cause you go if I just do these last few things.
Those last few things.
You're going not be theretomorrow like that's heavy it's
true, though that's heavy thoughit is heavy, you gotta say well
, I mean I go.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
What I was gonna say wasn't as deep, so I don't want
to like honestly, after losingmy mom, I think about stuff like
that well, I go, there'sliterally.
You know, we've about thatafter after dad passed and it
was like man, like you're notcause I was passing.
And yes, I do see it was alittle bit different.
Like my dad was very unexpected, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But then you had, you talked to him and then he was
gone a few hours later my mom, Ihad to watch.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, you know and, and I'm not talking about that,
but like it was just very likeoh crap, we're not promised
tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, you know that this is it, you know, and and
one day.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That day is going to come for all of us.
What do you want people to sayat your funeral?
Right, you know, and my bigthing, what I was gonna say,
that wasn't as deep as any ofwhat we were just talking about.
Right, there was.
This is everybody in my houseknows.
Once I take a shower, that's it.
That's it all I'm doing therest of it, yeah, all I'm doing
and and, and.
It's funny because there aredays I will be like staying
dirty and I'm begging you totake a shower and I'm like nope,
(17:10):
it's too early.
It's too early.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
It's too early because once I take a shower,
that's it and I've told him Idon't care what you have to do,
I'll do all those, those things.
Just go take a dang shower.
Please, for the love of God.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And and I go.
But it goes back to and I don'twant to drift too far off Right
being prepared.
It goes back to going if you,if you're prepared and you have
to face something.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
It makes it so much easier, right, even if it's
something that's hard.
It's going to be hard, but itwon't be as hard and it won't be
as strenuous or straining ordraining and the problem is too
many of y'all in school went.
Oh, I work better underpressure no, you just know you
have to get it done because youdon't have other choice right
it's how you work better underpressure.
You don't literally.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You literally do not have a choice like it has to get
done and now it's yeah andthat's how we treat our lives
and we wonder why then you goback and you look at it and you
go I would have done this betterand this better and that right,
you have high blood pressure,anxiety, stress um ulcers,
stomach issues I mean thinkabout how many people our age
are looking back at things going.
(18:18):
If I could go back, here's whatI would do right.
And I'm sitting here going,then why didn't you do that?
to begin when you were there,right, you know, andy, and in
the office, you know, at the net, last episode spoiler warning.
You know it's only been 14years so right but um, when he
was like.
(18:38):
I wish I wish I you could knowit was the good old days when
it's the good old days.
And I go and you can Yep,because you can make it whatever
you want to make it Right.
How many times have I told youour life can look however we
want our life to look like?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And when we started navigating things differently in
our life, it was, it was workto get out of the habit of the
chaos because you get soentrenched in doing things
sporadically and chaotically.
You actually get used to thatnormal and it's like you almost
your body, your brain,everything has to get used to
(19:13):
going.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
No, no, no, we don't function like that anymore and
keep in mind it's super easy tofall back into that so easy I
mean a couple of weeks ago.
Right we're.
We're out to dinner everysingle night because we didn't
take the 10 minutes in that slotthat we had right to put
together a list and go to thegrocery store and then what
happens?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
like from again our own example.
I remember like monday had comeand it was like oh, we'll get
to it tomorrow got to get.
I was supposed to do this but,we didn't go to the store and
that was going going to be my, Iwas going to get it then, and
then it just hindered so manythings during the week.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
But then you start hitting that phrase right, I'll
get to it tomorrow, I'll get toit tomorrow, I'll get to it
tomorrow, and what you notice istomorrow actually never comes.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And I carry a high stress level where I go.
I don't, I don't even care, Idon't even care.
There you go, I don't even carewhat we do.
We got to do something rightnow, like something has to
happen right now.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, but then you get frantic.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I personally do get frantic because my mindset is
going I'm not going to sit hereand get stuck back in the same
thing over and over again.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
So I kind of go into freak out mode and it's like
nope, nope, we're not doing thisRight, but that's just as
stressful.
And that's how most of us livelife, though that's what I'm
getting at.
Like you want a stronger family?
Here's what you need to do.
You need to set a schedule foryour family.
You need to be able to go.
Hey, yeah, you know you gotlittle kids.
It may be super early for you.
You may go.
(20:38):
Hey, it's six o'clock,everything's done, Even if it's
hey, from six to eight.
This is just family time.
I can pick up things againafter eight.
I mean, we did that for yearswhen the kids were real small.
I was still in school, you know, I was trying to get done with
my degree and I would come homefrom work.
(20:59):
I'd usually get home about 630,from 630 to like 830.
Right that, from 6.30 to like8.30.
Right, that was it.
That was my time to play withthe kids.
Yep, to give you a break fromthe kids To.
You know, really just be a dad,right?
And then once the kids went tobed, I would go all right.
Now it's time for me to go toschool.
Yep.
And then open up the computerand then boom, I'm on school for
the next three to four hours.
(21:19):
Go to four hours, right, and itwas a grind and it was, yeah,
it was exhausting and it wastime consuming, but the benefit
that came out of it we wouldn'tbe where we are right far
superseded the temporary um, notwhat was the word?
I'm looking for it, thetemporary inconvenience, if you
will but it's the same thingwhen jesus goes, hey, whoever
(21:41):
goes to build a tower, do theynot count the cost first?
Again, that's being prepared.
That's sitting here, going.
Hold on, let's have a plan here.
Let's stop working willy nilly,let's go.
Here's what we're trying to getto and here's how we're going
to get there.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I will say once you start doing that and you enter
into a space that you are aroundpeople that don't do that, you
start looking at it, going whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on.
And I have found being inspaces where people weren't
functioning like that, where Iwas like hang on, this is
completely chaotic.
Let's sit down and let's have aplan, which wasn't me normally,
(22:17):
and it's beneficial because youcan help your friends and your
family and the people you careabout and the people you work
with, and go hang on.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And if you're a planner, start helping your
friends and family.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, that's not just for you.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Sit down with them and go like, hey, let's look
through this Like you got tounderstand, even if you look at
like Strength Finders right,strength Finders 2.0.
Right, one of the strengths isstrategic planning, you know,
and it's sitting here and going,ok, hold on, this is where
we're trying to get to.
Now let's plan on how to getthere.
Right.
Be prepared to get there.
Right Be prepared it's coming.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
It is.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Regardless of what you want to believe, tomorrow is
going to be here.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yeah and again whether you're ready or not,
right.
And what you do today is goingto affect tomorrow the test is
coming, the interview is coming,the scan is coming, the
doctor's appointment is coming.
Yeah.
You know the calm, theuncomfortable conversation is
coming Age is coming yeah.
It is going to happen, whetheryou're ready or not.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, I'm thinking about it.
I mean, I sit down and eat justcheeseburger after cheeseburger
after cheeseburger at my age.
Now I, yeah, what about 10years from now?
(23:31):
Right, and the amount ofcheeseburgers changed from when
you were 18.
What do you mean?
Like you can't eat?
Oh yeah, 35 cheese.
No, I don't.
I don't eat as much as I usedto, but but it's the same thing.
I tell our son all the time.
I'm trying to get him tounderstand that at 17, the
choices you make now are goingto affect you at 27 well, yeah,
we tell him it's going to affectyour wife, your kids, good, bad
or indifferent.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
It's going to impact.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
That's one of the things we try to get through to
the kids at school too.
Like right, you know, like hey,I get, you're only 14, but
today impacts tomorrow, 10 yearsfrom now.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You, every moment Think about that.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's less than what .
That's three years older andhalf of the time you've been
alive.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
You're going to get there much faster than you
anticipate.
And you can do it calmly andcollectively, and you know, with
a plan and organized, or youcan be in complete chaos and
disarray and then step into youradulthood like that.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
So if you're listening to this this week and
you're sitting here and going,oh, that's me, do things
different, you can, you stillgot time?
Yep.
And if you're sitting here andgoing, hey, I know someone that
needs to hear this, share thisepisode with them and can I
share a little bit of morbidinformation morbid, or yeah well
, some people might think it'smorbid.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, um, after the passing of my mom I did find out
you can actually pay for yourfuneral in advance.
Honestly, I know it's a weirdconversation to have but it
saves your kids Gosh save, saveyour kids.
It's something you could do inadvance to spare them some grief
and have everything prepared,and it's not as expensive as you
think it is.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
So until next time, we love you, we thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Can't do this without you.
Bye, guys, bye.
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