August 17, 2023 • 24 mins
Whadddup, Listener homie!
I hope you're listening to this final episode thinkin' Daang, Akilah really helped me get more aligned with the type of person I wanna be.
Who are you now that you have experienced some of these conversations here on the podcast? My answer to that question is that I am more zoned in on the embodiment of the unschooling skills, which currently look like:
- Shifting my seminary studies from interfaith/interspiritual ministerial ordination to Integrative Thanatology at the Art of Dying Institute (this is so aligned with what the past four years have taught me!)
- more somatic movement tings (been studying the Feldenkreis method and doing more Dancehall-centric freestyle movements lately)
- Savor Complex Work (wrote about it on my new-ish newsletter here)
- Being at home with my family and present for all the ways love live here
This podcast has been such a belonging-maker in my life--thank you for being part of this! In our finale episode, I offer the fifth care package of how-to guides to navigate this work: Been Unschooling and now Ready to Deepen My Shit.
You'll hear me talk about moving into grounded confident autonomy, and provide some perspective and reassurances to help you trust and honor your wisdom. It's big spiritual work, and for some of us, it's happening at the same time we're witnessing what children need from us and how we are responding to that.
I also give you the ways to stay connected with this type of work, including the resources on Schoolishness.com, my Patreon page, the Fare of the Free Child Podcast YouTube channel, as well as the wisdom from all the episodes that live on raisingfreepeople.com. Every single episode this season was dedicated to YOU feeling equipped to start or continue your journey towards raising and being free people.
With plenty love,
Akilah
Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!
The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/
Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto
Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild
The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This week on Fare of the Free Child podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The final episode of Fare of the Free Child podcast
starts now!
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You can't keep using tools of oppression and expect
to raise free people.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Peace and love.
Akilah S Richards here, finalepisode.
First of all, I want toabsolutely start out with
gratitude.
It has been levels ofeverything really to be in
(00:52):
conversation and, in some cases,community with you.
I started this from a place ofanger and sadness, frustration,
longing, which I'm, recognizingthe connection between longing
(01:15):
and belonging, and that's whatthis podcast has been really a
journey from longing tobelonging, experiencing a sense
of belonging, inviting it, beinga co-conspirator in different
people's successful belongingefforts, their efforts to belong
(01:39):
and to create spaces whereother people felt that they
belonged, knew that theybelonged, and sometimes, when
something serves or someoneinvites a sense of belonging, it
can be hard to let that person,that relationship, that
(01:59):
experience go.
It can be hard to let it go.
I am not about to play thosegames with this podcast, because
I know that it is time to letit go.
I find myself less concernedwith unschooling as a pathway,
(02:21):
and more so who unschooling hasshaped, in me in particular.
Which parts of myself was Iable to let go of as a result of
going down this journey throughthe portal called unschooling?
Who are my daughters now?
Who is Kris now as my partner,as their father?
(02:43):
Who are you as someone who hasbeen going through your own
unschooling journey over theyears?
Who has it shaped?
Where do you belong?
Where have you left because youdid not belong?
I'm just more zoned in on theembodiment of the unschooling
(03:06):
skills and I really need toinvestigate, explore, nurture
belonging in that space, and itis different than what Fare of
the Free Child is for /was for.
(03:27):
In this episode I'm going to doa couple of things.
One I'm going to offer you thatfifth care package.
There were five things I wantedto leave you with how to guides
, so to speak, for navigatingall of this information that
I've put out and been part ofover the past seven or eight
years.
A beginner's path we've talkedabout A path of moving from
(03:51):
homeschooling to more confident,autonomy centric practices.
We did a for me, not them path.
We did a pervasive whitenessnaming that and navigating that
path.
And then this week we're goingto talk about the been
unschooling and now ready todeepen my ship path.
(04:15):
I'm also going to tell you fiveplaces where you can get the
type of work that you aregetting on Fare of the Free
Child.
And, of course, there are somany podcasts that have been out
, and now there are even morepodcasts that are out that give
you this more expansive, moreinclusive, less school or not
(04:39):
school type of approach toraising free people and
unschooling.
I'm following a lot of thosepeople on Instagram.
I also try to share in mystories other podcasters who are
doing this type of work.
So I'm not saying that this isthe only place where you could
get it, but what I am saying isthat there are specific places
(05:00):
that are making sure that thiswork, the effects of this work,
the impact of this work, live on.
So I will tell you those fivespaces as well the Been
Unschooling and Now Ready toDeepen my Shit Path.
(05:22):
So you've been unschooling, youget it.
You're not doing school at home.
You have your moments becausewe're all deschoolers up in here
, but you are ready to deepenyour path?
You want to get all up in thespiritual aspects of this work.
If you already are, you justwant to name it and be more
intentional about it.
(05:44):
For that path, there are twospecific feelings that I want to
address.
The first one is being on thespiritual path of unschooling
right, and then the feelingyou're having is oh my God, am I
doing enough for them.
When it comes to your children,they may be out of school like
maybe you've pulled them fromschool or maybe they're in
(06:04):
school but you are absolutelydoing unschooling practices.
It is real and true.
In your life you are havingconversations about the
difference between what you wantfor your kids and what they're
saying they want.
You are honoring their nos andtheir yeses.
They address how they'recomfortable, not how you're
comfortable.
(06:25):
You continue to inviteconversations about the things
that you might not agree with orunderstand.
Right.
You're doing that type of workand at the same time, you're
also feeling big doubts.
You're not sure whether you'restepping in when you're supposed
to, or if you're stepping intoo much or if you're not doing
enough for them.
(06:45):
Should you be requiring them todo certain things?
Should you be involved in morespaces to find out more about
the opportunities available forthem?
You know that that I'm notdoing enough, feeling that we,
as parents tend to have Many ofus for that feeling.
Remember that that feeling isoftentimes just your wisdom
(07:10):
checking in with you.
It's just the part of you thatwants to make sure that you are
honoring how important this is.
You are looking at the anglesthat might not be readily
apparent.
That's just more of your wisdomat play, and the more you
believe that, the more you trustinto that, the less audible the
(07:33):
doubts become.
You start to recognize thedifference between a fever,
which is just an indication ofsomething else happening some
recalibration and the flu.
Right now, in the schoolishmode, in the more conventional
parenting mode, we treateverything like the flu.
(07:54):
Oh my God, what, okay, do Ineed to take this medicine?
They need to be getting awayfrom everybody else.
They need to be focused in onthe healing.
It's the flu, so I'm going totreat it with everything I can
because I don't want it tobecome pneumonia.
You know, sepsis Like we.
Just we go immediately.
We start off at like a levelseven because we're trying to
stop it from getting to a 10.
(08:15):
As you continue to deepen yourpath and by deepen I mean look
more at why you believe what youbelieve and act how you act and
why you resist and why you push, really investigating the why
behind what you do, and not somuch assuming that whatever
you're doing, especially inrelation to a kid, is exactly
(08:38):
what you should be doing,because you're the parent and
you just want what's best forthem.
Right.
So you're already in that levelof conversation.
You are on what I call thespiritual path.
As an unschooler, you are notjust thinking about my kid is
not going to be in schoolbecause of all the issues with
school.
You don't connect the dish to awhole bunch of other realities
(08:59):
that you did not get the chanceto notice before, and so in that
journey you move from treatingeverything like the flu to
recognizing which things arefevers and which things are your
fevers.
It's not a fever that you'renoticing on them and wanting to
treat on them.
It's actually your fever, yourfever lens that is shaping how
(09:23):
you're approaching or viewingwhat's going on.
So that's my recommendation forthat particular feeling of I'm
not doing enough, recognize itas a fever, not the flu.
That feeling is not evidencethat you are not in fact doing
enough.
What it is is another part ofyour wisdom checking in and you
(09:43):
can respond to it and say whichpart of this feels legit.
What do I want to pay a littlebit more attention to?
What will I look into and whichparts of this?
Is just me being able to saythank you for bringing that to
my awareness, the noticing thatI always want to be checked in,
tuned in to the opportunitiesout there.
Right now.
(10:03):
I'm good on that.
They good.
They doing what they want to do, they are engaged, they are
happy.
Whatever, your indicators arethat your child is getting what
they need and then if you don'tfeel like they're getting what
they need, that feeling is justan opportunity for you to look
at where that need might be met.
Maybe it's not you, maybe youare not the solver of that thing
(10:27):
, but you can point them in adirection.
These are fevers, not the flu.
The second one is really anextension of the first one,
which is about managing me, notthem, not it, not that choice,
(10:48):
basically getting tools for howyou manage things.
When we talk about deepeningour shit in this path and moving
away from school or not school,or which class or which
curriculum, you're reallylooking at a type of trade off
where you're giving up the ideaof a specific outcome when it
comes to your child, when itcomes to your life.
(11:09):
You're giving up the idea of ifI do this, then I should be
able to get this out of it,trading that in for managing
yourself, your reactions, howyou respond to choices, to
changes, to uncertainty you moveaway from okay, if I go to this
school and get this degree,then I should be able to get
(11:30):
this type of job, whether that'sfor you or your child or a
child in your life.
You go away from that and say,okay, if I'm actually interested
in this thing, not this degree,and I'm going down this path.
How can I best take care ofmyself while I manage the
disappointments as well as thejoys, the pleasant surprises as
(11:52):
well as the unpleasant ones, theuncertainty as well as the
points of clarity?
If you are deepening your path,you are moving away from an
attachment to specific outcomesand formulas and curricula over
into being grounded in a certainlevel of confident autonomy in
(12:14):
yourself, in your child, forthem, on their behalf, in such a
way that it ain't about whatdoes or doesn't happen.
It's about how you deal with itand how you are learning to
manage choices, changes anduncertainty.
So let's talk about the placeswhere you can continue to get
(12:49):
this work.
Raisingfreepeople.
com, Fare of the Free Childepisodes.
They not going nowhere, I'mjust not doing any more of them.
So the 270 plus actually,(because there was some brata
between-a- sodes) all of thoseepisodes, one link that you can
go to and you'll be able to getaccess to every single episode.
(13:13):
Raisingfreepeople.
com.
More places you can get thiswork: The My Reflection Matters
space has a Fare of the FreeChild village.
So if you head over toMyReflectionMatters.
org, so many reasons to be partof that space with Chemay,
Vanessa, that whole crew.
Love y'all.
Oh my gosh, so much work therearound liberation- centric
(13:35):
parenting and ways to be andraise free people.
There is a Fare of the FreeChild village.
I encourage you to feel intosome of the questions that come
up for you as you listen to theepisodes and invite other people
into conversation around thosethings, and the Fare of the Free
Child village insideMyReflectionMatters is a great
(13:56):
space to do that.
Of course, anywhere you'relistening to this podcast should
be a link to this episode, andthere will be links specifically
for the MyReflectionMattersvillage and everything else I
talk about in this episode.
Another place to get this workis YouTube.
(14:17):
There's a Fare of the FreeChild YouTube channel, f-a-r-e
of the Free Child.
Lots of information about pastepisodes will be there.
I will also be doing occasionalvideos with people who I wanted
to interview on the podcast butdidn't get to.
But y'all need to know theirstories.
So I'll be using YouTube forthat.
(14:38):
Make sure you subscribe to thechannel, write that down! Write
that down! On YouTube.
I will also be uploading lotsof new content from the
perspective of hindsight -myunschooled OG wisdom lens.
So, for example, I plan to dothese kind of talk back videos
on that channel.
(14:58):
For example, you'll see videosthat I posted in like 2014,
2015,Really early on in our journey,
and some of those, when I hearwhat I said or where I was, I'm
like, oh girl, keep going, comeon, come, come, come.
So I want to talk out loud tothat version of myself, because
I know from your feedback thatit's useful to hear things from
(15:21):
early on in the journey,especially if you're just
getting started on your raisingfree people work.
Like you just came across thepodcast or somebody else's work
and you're like, oh shit, okay,rabbit hole, Fare of the Free
Child! oh my God, but what aboutthis?
You know I can speak from thosespaces and to those spaces and
that's what I plan to play withon YouTube.
(15:42):
Yeah, so just make sure yousubscribe.
It's youtube.
com forward slash at fare of thefree child.
Another spot is our Make itHappen family: patreon.
com forward slash Akilah.
I have two staple things onPatreon in addition to just like
(16:02):
random everyday awesomeness inbetween.
Not every day, certainly everycouple of weeks, maybe even
every week, but I have twostaple things.
They are some type of wayThursdays, or STOWdays.
What I plan to do, probablystarting towards the end of this
year, is that every month I'mgonna pick a Thursday for a live
(16:24):
session For just discussionabout the journey.
It won't be a public live, soyou will need a link to get in
the room.
So join us on patreon and thenwe'll chop it up on video and in
the chat.
You know that kind of deal,anything you're feeling some
type of weight about on thatparticular week.
We don't hit up a stow day,it's an acronym, some type of
away.
Okay, also on patreon, I'mgonna share Things like I will
(16:49):
invite guests.
Sometimes there's so manypeople like oh my god! Binah Joy
.
Who does movement and body work,just people whose work
influence my own Capacity to beand raise free people because
they help me with my personalleadership.
You know, manage the thingsthat are really about me, but it
look like it's about my kids,or it look like it's about my
(17:11):
relationship with Kris or youknow, whatever the thing is.
So just different things toname and manage the feelings
that come with this commitmentto raising free people.
I'm gonna be havingconversations about that on
patreon as well, and doing someof that through some type of
away Thursdays, our STOW days.
The difference between YouTubeand patreon would be that you
(17:33):
might see a lightly edited videoversion of a conversation on
YouTube right, so I'll put thaton the channel, but then on
patreon I might go back and talkabout some of what I gathered
from the conversation, like aweek or a few days later.
So our make it happen familyPatreon is more of an intimate
conversation about the thingsthat we would discuss on YouTube
(17:55):
.
The last spot that I willmention to continue to get this
work is our online shop,schoolishness.
com.
Like our make-it-happen family,it's a place where you go to
name and manage the feelingsthat come with this journey of
raising and being free people.
The difference between the shopand, say, patreon or YouTube is
(18:19):
that it gives you Tangibletools and toys for that journey.
So some of my own spiritualprocesses.
That's why the practice deck isin there, the card deck.
I call that the raising freepeople practice deck.
That really came from me, justusing pieces of paper and
writing down things that helpedme stay in touch and in tune
with how I wanted to approachthings, how I wanted to Respond,
(18:44):
not react, you know, justcalling in my own alchemy and
then being able to createsomething from that for other
people to use it, just like Iuse other people's books and
card decks and all of that.
So it's just some of the waysthat I've learned to educate and
to connect with this version ofmyself that is less
(19:05):
school-centric and that is notlooking for outward validation
and a lot of sameness, you know,in order to feel complete or
whole or on the right track.
So when I get asked questionslike how did I get away from
being like a nervous, doubtfulparent over to a confident
unschooler, that is the type ofquestion that the shop offers
(19:27):
tools and toys for.
So, schoolishness.
com, go check it out.
I want to thank you for rockingwith me for however long you
have been here, whether youstarted with us in July of 2016,
(19:47):
or this is the very firstepisode you're listening to.
I appreciate you could not havedone this Well, could not have
continued to do this without you, because I did it, because I
needed it, but I would not havecontinued for this long had it
not been for your involvement,every single member of our Make
(20:10):
it Happen family on Patreon.
com all 178 of y'all.
At this time I'm not going tosay everybody's name, but know
that I'm calling in constantgratitude and joy and
appreciation for your presencein my life.
Stay a part of our Make itHappen family on Patreon.
(20:30):
com/akilah.
Join anytime you're listeningto this episode because the
podcast has died, the elder hasbeen laid to rest, but my work
as someone shaped divinely by myunschooling path continues and
you can see how on Patreon andfind all the other spaces where
(20:53):
I am doing and living into whatI've become as a result of this
journey.
Juan Pablo Perez, FatimaMookadam, Vanessa Molano, Kris
(21:14):
Richards, David Amesquita,Daniella Gutierrez Paez,
everybody who has worked on anyepisode of Fare the Free Child
Bless, bless, bless, bless.
Up yourself.
Everybody who has beenlistening consistently Bless,
bless, bless, up yourself.
Every version of me that haslived through this podcast.
(21:38):
Bless, bless, bless and upmyself.
You listening, bless you.
May your journey to being andraising free people continue to
evolve beautifully, love andappreciate you.
Chat to you somewhere else inspace and time.
Peace.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I'm coming from a background Black, british,
jamaican parents, all of thatculture and hearing about what
it was like for them growing upand how they had such a strict
upbringing and stuff.
So this is what I'm goingagainst, potentially, and I just
want some sort of affirmationor reminder of what it means to
(22:35):
have and raise free childrenReally the term free child and
kind of like what this means andwhat this creates and, dare I
say, the benefits and the risksof this.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I trust children Fare .
The Free Child is a weeklypodcast that centres Diverse
narratives, insightfulcommentary, Learning with our
children and de-schoolingourselves, Owning our multiple
identities and treating childrenwith dignity, Creating
community and sharingconversation from often silenced
(23:22):
spaces.
This statement raising freepeople what does it mean?
What does it look like inaction?
Is it even possible?
Raising free people?
(23:43):
The term and the work that itinvokes tends to appeal to a
certain type of person, the typeof person who has particular,
usually unpopular, opinions andmotivations for parenting or
working with people before theybecome adults.
This work is oriented towardliberatory relationships by
(24:04):
trying to avoid or no longer dotwo things One, we want to avoid
or we want to stopunconsciously mimicking the ways
that we were parented ortreated before we became adults.
And two, we want to avoid or wewant to stop parenting from a
place of anger and anxiousreactions to society's ideas on
(24:27):
how young people should beraised or treated.
Basically, when we say we'reraising free people, we've
decided that respect and love,not fear and control, will be
how we raise and regard theyoungest members of our homes
and our society.
This week on Fare of the Free Child podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The final episode of Fare of the Free Child podcast
starts now!
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You can't keep using tools of oppression and expect
to raise free people.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Peace and love.
Akilah S Richards here, finalepisode.
First of all, I want toabsolutely start out with
gratitude.
It has been levels ofeverything really to be in
(00:52):
conversation and, in some cases,community with you.
I started this from a place ofanger and sadness, frustration,
longing, which I'm, recognizingthe connection between longing
(01:15):
and belonging, and that's whatthis podcast has been really a
journey from longing tobelonging, experiencing a sense
of belonging, inviting it, beinga co-conspirator in different
people's successful belongingefforts, their efforts to belong
(01:39):
and to create spaces whereother people felt that they
belonged, knew that theybelonged, and sometimes, when
something serves or someoneinvites a sense of belonging, it
can be hard to let that person,that relationship, that
(01:59):
experience go.
It can be hard to let it go.
I am not about to play thosegames with this podcast, because
I know that it is time to letit go.
I find myself less concernedwith unschooling as a pathway,
(02:21):
and more so who unschooling hasshaped, in me in particular.
Which parts of myself was Iable to let go of as a result of
going down this journey throughthe portal called unschooling?
Who are my daughters now?
Who is Kris now as my partner,as their father?
(02:43):
Who are you as someone who hasbeen going through your own
unschooling journey over theyears?
Who has it shaped?
Where do you belong?
Where have you left because youdid not belong?
I'm just more zoned in on theembodiment of the unschooling
(03:06):
skills and I really need toinvestigate, explore, nurture
belonging in that space, and itis different than what Fare of
the Free Child is for /was for.
(03:27):
In this episode I'm going to doa couple of things.
One I'm going to offer you thatfifth care package.
There were five things I wantedto leave you with how to guides
, so to speak, for navigatingall of this information that
I've put out and been part ofover the past seven or eight
years.
A beginner's path we've talkedabout A path of moving from
(03:51):
homeschooling to more confident,autonomy centric practices.
We did a for me, not them path.
We did a pervasive whitenessnaming that and navigating that
path.
And then this week we're goingto talk about the been
unschooling and now ready todeepen my ship path.
(04:15):
I'm also going to tell you fiveplaces where you can get the
type of work that you aregetting on Fare of the Free
Child.
And, of course, there are somany podcasts that have been out
, and now there are even morepodcasts that are out that give
you this more expansive, moreinclusive, less school or not
(04:39):
school type of approach toraising free people and
unschooling.
I'm following a lot of thosepeople on Instagram.
I also try to share in mystories other podcasters who are
doing this type of work.
So I'm not saying that this isthe only place where you could
get it, but what I am saying isthat there are specific places
(05:00):
that are making sure that thiswork, the effects of this work,
the impact of this work, live on.
So I will tell you those fivespaces as well the Been
Unschooling and Now Ready toDeepen my Shit Path.
(05:22):
So you've been unschooling, youget it.
You're not doing school at home.
You have your moments becausewe're all deschoolers up in here
, but you are ready to deepenyour path?
You want to get all up in thespiritual aspects of this work.
If you already are, you justwant to name it and be more
intentional about it.
(05:44):
For that path, there are twospecific feelings that I want to
address.
The first one is being on thespiritual path of unschooling
right, and then the feelingyou're having is oh my God, am I
doing enough for them.
When it comes to your children,they may be out of school like
maybe you've pulled them fromschool or maybe they're in
(06:04):
school but you are absolutelydoing unschooling practices.
It is real and true.
In your life you are havingconversations about the
difference between what you wantfor your kids and what they're
saying they want.
You are honoring their nos andtheir yeses.
They address how they'recomfortable, not how you're
comfortable.
(06:25):
You continue to inviteconversations about the things
that you might not agree with orunderstand.
Right.
You're doing that type of workand at the same time, you're
also feeling big doubts.
You're not sure whether you'restepping in when you're supposed
to, or if you're stepping intoo much or if you're not doing
enough for them.
(06:45):
Should you be requiring them todo certain things?
Should you be involved in morespaces to find out more about
the opportunities available forthem?
You know that that I'm notdoing enough, feeling that we,
as parents tend to have Many ofus for that feeling.
Remember that that feeling isoftentimes just your wisdom
(07:10):
checking in with you.
It's just the part of you thatwants to make sure that you are
honoring how important this is.
You are looking at the anglesthat might not be readily
apparent.
That's just more of your wisdomat play, and the more you
believe that, the more you trustinto that, the less audible the
(07:33):
doubts become.
You start to recognize thedifference between a fever,
which is just an indication ofsomething else happening some
recalibration and the flu.
Right now, in the schoolishmode, in the more conventional
parenting mode, we treateverything like the flu.
(07:54):
Oh my God, what, okay, do Ineed to take this medicine?
They need to be getting awayfrom everybody else.
They need to be focused in onthe healing.
It's the flu, so I'm going totreat it with everything I can
because I don't want it tobecome pneumonia.
You know, sepsis Like we.
Just we go immediately.
We start off at like a levelseven because we're trying to
stop it from getting to a 10.
(08:15):
As you continue to deepen yourpath and by deepen I mean look
more at why you believe what youbelieve and act how you act and
why you resist and why you push, really investigating the why
behind what you do, and not somuch assuming that whatever
you're doing, especially inrelation to a kid, is exactly
(08:38):
what you should be doing,because you're the parent and
you just want what's best forthem.
Right.
So you're already in that levelof conversation.
You are on what I call thespiritual path.
As an unschooler, you are notjust thinking about my kid is
not going to be in schoolbecause of all the issues with
school.
You don't connect the dish to awhole bunch of other realities
(08:59):
that you did not get the chanceto notice before, and so in that
journey you move from treatingeverything like the flu to
recognizing which things arefevers and which things are your
fevers.
It's not a fever that you'renoticing on them and wanting to
treat on them.
It's actually your fever, yourfever lens that is shaping how
(09:23):
you're approaching or viewingwhat's going on.
So that's my recommendation forthat particular feeling of I'm
not doing enough, recognize itas a fever, not the flu.
That feeling is not evidencethat you are not in fact doing
enough.
What it is is another part ofyour wisdom checking in and you
(09:43):
can respond to it and say whichpart of this feels legit.
What do I want to pay a littlebit more attention to?
What will I look into and whichparts of this?
Is just me being able to saythank you for bringing that to
my awareness, the noticing thatI always want to be checked in,
tuned in to the opportunitiesout there.
Right now.
(10:03):
I'm good on that.
They good.
They doing what they want to do, they are engaged, they are
happy.
Whatever, your indicators arethat your child is getting what
they need and then if you don'tfeel like they're getting what
they need, that feeling is justan opportunity for you to look
at where that need might be met.
Maybe it's not you, maybe youare not the solver of that thing
(10:27):
, but you can point them in adirection.
These are fevers, not the flu.
The second one is really anextension of the first one,
which is about managing me, notthem, not it, not that choice,
(10:48):
basically getting tools for howyou manage things.
When we talk about deepeningour shit in this path and moving
away from school or not school,or which class or which
curriculum, you're reallylooking at a type of trade off
where you're giving up the ideaof a specific outcome when it
comes to your child, when itcomes to your life.
(11:09):
You're giving up the idea of ifI do this, then I should be
able to get this out of it,trading that in for managing
yourself, your reactions, howyou respond to choices, to
changes, to uncertainty you moveaway from okay, if I go to this
school and get this degree,then I should be able to get
(11:30):
this type of job, whether that'sfor you or your child or a
child in your life.
You go away from that and say,okay, if I'm actually interested
in this thing, not this degree,and I'm going down this path.
How can I best take care ofmyself while I manage the
disappointments as well as thejoys, the pleasant surprises as
(11:52):
well as the unpleasant ones, theuncertainty as well as the
points of clarity?
If you are deepening your path,you are moving away from an
attachment to specific outcomesand formulas and curricula over
into being grounded in a certainlevel of confident autonomy in
(12:14):
yourself, in your child, forthem, on their behalf, in such a
way that it ain't about whatdoes or doesn't happen.
It's about how you deal with itand how you are learning to
manage choices, changes anduncertainty.
So let's talk about the placeswhere you can continue to get
(12:49):
this work.
Raisingfreepeople.
com, Fare of the Free Childepisodes.
They not going nowhere, I'mjust not doing any more of them.
So the 270 plus actually,(because there was some brata
between-a- sodes) all of thoseepisodes, one link that you can
go to and you'll be able to getaccess to every single episode.
(13:13):
Raisingfreepeople.
com.
More places you can get thiswork: The My Reflection Matters
space has a Fare of the FreeChild village.
So if you head over toMyReflectionMatters.
org, so many reasons to be partof that space with Chemay,
Vanessa, that whole crew.
Love y'all.
Oh my gosh, so much work therearound liberation- centric
(13:35):
parenting and ways to be andraise free people.
There is a Fare of the FreeChild village.
I encourage you to feel intosome of the questions that come
up for you as you listen to theepisodes and invite other people
into conversation around thosethings, and the Fare of the Free
Child village insideMyReflectionMatters is a great
(13:56):
space to do that.
Of course, anywhere you'relistening to this podcast should
be a link to this episode, andthere will be links specifically
for the MyReflectionMattersvillage and everything else I
talk about in this episode.
Another place to get this workis YouTube.
(14:17):
There's a Fare of the FreeChild YouTube channel, f-a-r-e
of the Free Child.
Lots of information about pastepisodes will be there.
I will also be doing occasionalvideos with people who I wanted
to interview on the podcast butdidn't get to.
But y'all need to know theirstories.
So I'll be using YouTube forthat.
(14:38):
Make sure you subscribe to thechannel, write that down! Write
that down! On YouTube.
I will also be uploading lotsof new content from the
perspective of hindsight -myunschooled OG wisdom lens.
So, for example, I plan to dothese kind of talk back videos
on that channel.
(14:58):
For example, you'll see videosthat I posted in like 2014,
2015,Really early on in our journey,
and some of those, when I hearwhat I said or where I was, I'm
like, oh girl, keep going, comeon, come, come, come.
So I want to talk out loud tothat version of myself, because
I know from your feedback thatit's useful to hear things from
(15:21):
early on in the journey,especially if you're just
getting started on your raisingfree people work.
Like you just came across thepodcast or somebody else's work
and you're like, oh shit, okay,rabbit hole, Fare of the Free
Child! oh my God, but what aboutthis?
You know I can speak from thosespaces and to those spaces and
that's what I plan to play withon YouTube.
(15:42):
Yeah, so just make sure yousubscribe.
It's youtube.
com forward slash at fare of thefree child.
Another spot is our Make itHappen family: patreon.
com forward slash Akilah.
I have two staple things onPatreon in addition to just like
(16:02):
random everyday awesomeness inbetween.
Not every day, certainly everycouple of weeks, maybe even
every week, but I have twostaple things.
They are some type of wayThursdays, or STOWdays.
What I plan to do, probablystarting towards the end of this
year, is that every month I'mgonna pick a Thursday for a live
(16:24):
session For just discussionabout the journey.
It won't be a public live, soyou will need a link to get in
the room.
So join us on patreon and thenwe'll chop it up on video and in
the chat.
You know that kind of deal,anything you're feeling some
type of weight about on thatparticular week.
We don't hit up a stow day,it's an acronym, some type of
away.
Okay, also on patreon, I'mgonna share Things like I will
(16:49):
invite guests.
Sometimes there's so manypeople like oh my god! Binah Joy
.
Who does movement and body work,just people whose work
influence my own Capacity to beand raise free people because
they help me with my personalleadership.
You know, manage the thingsthat are really about me, but it
look like it's about my kids,or it look like it's about my
(17:11):
relationship with Kris or youknow, whatever the thing is.
So just different things toname and manage the feelings
that come with this commitmentto raising free people.
I'm gonna be havingconversations about that on
patreon as well, and doing someof that through some type of
away Thursdays, our STOW days.
The difference between YouTubeand patreon would be that you
(17:33):
might see a lightly edited videoversion of a conversation on
YouTube right, so I'll put thaton the channel, but then on
patreon I might go back and talkabout some of what I gathered
from the conversation, like aweek or a few days later.
So our make it happen familyPatreon is more of an intimate
conversation about the thingsthat we would discuss on YouTube
(17:55):
.
The last spot that I willmention to continue to get this
work is our online shop,schoolishness.
com.
Like our make-it-happen family,it's a place where you go to
name and manage the feelingsthat come with this journey of
raising and being free people.
The difference between the shopand, say, patreon or YouTube is
(18:19):
that it gives you Tangibletools and toys for that journey.
So some of my own spiritualprocesses.
That's why the practice deck isin there, the card deck.
I call that the raising freepeople practice deck.
That really came from me, justusing pieces of paper and
writing down things that helpedme stay in touch and in tune
with how I wanted to approachthings, how I wanted to Respond,
(18:44):
not react, you know, justcalling in my own alchemy and
then being able to createsomething from that for other
people to use it, just like Iuse other people's books and
card decks and all of that.
So it's just some of the waysthat I've learned to educate and
to connect with this version ofmyself that is less
(19:05):
school-centric and that is notlooking for outward validation
and a lot of sameness, you know,in order to feel complete or
whole or on the right track.
So when I get asked questionslike how did I get away from
being like a nervous, doubtfulparent over to a confident
unschooler, that is the type ofquestion that the shop offers
(19:27):
tools and toys for.
So, schoolishness.
com, go check it out.
I want to thank you for rockingwith me for however long you
have been here, whether youstarted with us in July of 2016,
(19:47):
or this is the very firstepisode you're listening to.
I appreciate you could not havedone this Well, could not have
continued to do this without you, because I did it, because I
needed it, but I would not havecontinued for this long had it
not been for your involvement,every single member of our Make
(20:10):
it Happen family on Patreon.
com all 178 of y'all.
At this time I'm not going tosay everybody's name, but know
that I'm calling in constantgratitude and joy and
appreciation for your presencein my life.
Stay a part of our Make itHappen family on Patreon.
(20:30):
com/akilah.
Join anytime you're listeningto this episode because the
podcast has died, the elder hasbeen laid to rest, but my work
as someone shaped divinely by myunschooling path continues and
you can see how on Patreon andfind all the other spaces where
(20:53):
I am doing and living into whatI've become as a result of this
journey.
Juan Pablo Perez, FatimaMookadam, Vanessa Molano, Kris
(21:14):
Richards, David Amesquita,Daniella Gutierrez Paez,
everybody who has worked on anyepisode of Fare the Free Child
Bless, bless, bless, bless.
Up yourself.
Everybody who has beenlistening consistently Bless,
bless, bless, up yourself.
Every version of me that haslived through this podcast.
(21:38):
Bless, bless, bless and upmyself.
You listening, bless you.
May your journey to being andraising free people continue to
evolve beautifully, love andappreciate you.
Chat to you somewhere else inspace and time.
Peace.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I'm coming from a background Black, british,
jamaican parents, all of thatculture and hearing about what
it was like for them growing upand how they had such a strict
upbringing and stuff.
So this is what I'm goingagainst, potentially, and I just
want some sort of affirmationor reminder of what it means to
(22:35):
have and raise free childrenReally the term free child and
kind of like what this means andwhat this creates and, dare I
say, the benefits and the risksof this.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I trust children Fare .
The Free Child is a weeklypodcast that centres Diverse
narratives, insightfulcommentary, Learning with our
children and de-schoolingourselves, Owning our multiple
identities and treating childrenwith dignity, Creating
community and sharingconversation from often silenced
(23:22):
spaces.
This statement raising freepeople what does it mean?
What does it look like inaction?
Is it even possible?
Raising free people?
(23:43):
The term and the work that itinvokes tends to appeal to a
certain type of person, the typeof person who has particular,
usually unpopular, opinions andmotivations for parenting or
working with people before theybecome adults.
This work is oriented towardliberatory relationships by
(24:04):
trying to avoid or no longer dotwo things One, we want to avoid
or we want to stopunconsciously mimicking the ways
that we were parented ortreated before we became adults.
And two, we want to avoid or wewant to stop parenting from a
place of anger and anxiousreactions to society's ideas on
(24:27):
how young people should beraised or treated.
Basically, when we say we'reraising free people, we've
decided that respect and love,not fear and control, will be
how we raise and regard theyoungest members of our homes
and our society.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.