December 18, 2010 • 62 mins
In G.K. Chesterton’s classic, Gabriel Syme (Orson Welles) is a police detective infiltrating the anarchist council of Europe.
Original Air Date: September 5, 1938
Originating in New York
Starring: Orson Welles; Eustace Wyatt; Edgar Barrier; Joseph Cotten; George Coulouris; Ray Collins
Original Air Date: September 5, 1938
Originating in New York
Starring: Orson Welles; Eustace Wyatt; Edgar Barrier; Joseph Cotten; George Coulouris; Ray Collins
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Welcome into the Great Detectives of OldTime Radio and our three hundredth episode special.
As always, feel free to sendyour comments to Box thirteen at Great
Detectives dot net follow us over onTwitter at Radio Detectives. Today's episode of
the Great Detectives of Old Time Radiois brought to you through my book Tales
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of the Damn Night. It's availablefrom Splashdown Books. You can go to
Great Detectives dot Net available as anebook for four twenty five, but a
Great Detectives dot Net or dim Nightdot com for even more purchasing options.
Well A Man Who Was Thursday fromthe Mercury Theater on the Air is this
week's production. This actually concluded thesummer production of the Mercury Theater, though
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it would be moving to a newnight and would a few months later have
its famous War of the World's broadcast. We of course came to the Mercury
Theater for the first time a yearago, and it's great to be back
for another masterful performance by Orson Welles, and the story is quite unique.
The Man Who Was Thursday is amystery story and is often considered an early
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work of detective fiction, but it'salso often considered a fantasy. It's hard
to define, it's hard to explain, but it definitely provokes plenty of thought,
and mister Wells will address this alittle bit in is opening. One
thing that he does make a referenceto is that the story was set in
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the age of the anarchist. Today, well, anarchism has not thought of
as a positive thing. It's notreally thought of as a big threat.
But in the early part of thetwentieth century the anarchists were quite dangerous and
quite violent. In fact, itwas an anarchist that killed the President of
the United States, William McKinley innineteen oh one. So in the period
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of The Man Who Was Thursday,when this was released in nineteen o six,
the anarchists were kind of like wewould imagine Alcotta today. Unfortunately,
every recording of this play that Ifound has the first paragraph or soul of
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mister Wells's introduction cut off, aswell as the opening theme music and the
abs announcer. Thankfully, I havefound a script which means I can go
ahead and read you the first paragraphthat mister Wells spoke, and then we'll
head out to the Mercury Theater tohear the rest from Orson Welles, good
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evening, ladies and gentlemen. G. K. C. Gilbert Keith Chesterton,
great, greatly articulate Roman convert andliberal, has been dead now for
two years. For a unique brandof common sense, enthusiasm, for a
singular gift of paradox, for adeep reverence and a high wit, and
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most of all, for free andshamelessly beautiful English prose. He will never
be forgotten. And here now ismister Orson Wells with the Man who was
Thursday. Here on the great detectivesof old time radio would be famous.
According to the story, that's whatthe young ladies said to the fat Man,
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the fabulously, fatly fantastic, thefamous fat Man, when he took
it to lunch at a fashionable restaurant, and everybody turned and stared. Tell
me, she said, do peoplealways recognize you? Does everybody always know
who you are? Well, mydear, said mister Chesterton. If they
don't, they ask. Mister Chesterton'sThe Man who Was Thursday is a little
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like that. Roughly speaking, it'sabout anarchists. It was written remember in
the boom of bomb throwing, inthose radical, irresponsible days of the Nihilists,
And roughly speaking, it's a mysterystory. It can be guaranteed that
you will never never guess the solutionuntil you get to the end. It
is even feared that you may notguess it. Then you may never guess
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what the Man who was Thursday isabout. But definitely if you don't you
lask. I am Gabriel's sim Iam the man who was Thursday. That
particular evening, if it is rememberedfor nothing else will be remembered in that
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place. For its strange sunset,it looked like the end of the world.
It may be remembered by others too, because it marked the first appearance
in the place of the second poetof Saffron Park. For a long time,
a red haired revolutionary had reigned withouta rival. It was upon the
night of the sunset that I Gabrielsign ended his solitude the sime you say
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you are a point of law,I say you are a contradiction. In
terms, an artist is identical withan anarchist. Mister Gregory, it is
things going right that is poetical.Our digestions, for instance, going sacredly
and silently right. The most poeticalthing in the world is not being sat
grilling is to sign the examples?Who true? I beg your pardon,
mister Gregory. I forgot we hadabolished all conventions. You don't expect me
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to revolutionary society on this law.No, I don't. But I suppose
that if you are serious about youranarchism, that is exactly what you would
do. Don't you think then thatI'm serious about my anarchism. I beg
your pardon. Am I not seriousabout my anarchism? I strolled away and
left Gregory, But with surprise,and with a curious pleasure, I found
a red headed young lady still inmy company. It was Rosamond Gregory's sister.
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That's the time to the people whotalk like you and my brother often
mean what they say. Do youmean what you say? Now, my
dear miss Gregory, when you saythank you for the salt, do you
mean what you say? No?When you say the world is round,
you mean what you say? No, it's quite true, but you don't
mean it. Is you really ananarchist only in that sense I speak of,
or if you prefer it in thatnonsense? You wouldn't really use bombs?
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So that sort of thing, Ithink, good Lord, no,
that has to be done anonymously.I strolled with her to a seat in
the corner of the garden, andI defended respectability with violence and exaggeration.
I grew passionate in my praise oftidiness and propriety. All the time.
There was a smell of lilac aroundme. And once I heard, very
faintly, in some distant street,a barrelog and begin to play, And
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it seemed to me that my heroicwords were moving to a tiny tune from
under or beyond the world. Inthe wild events which were to follow.
This girl had no part at all. I never saw again until all my
tear was over. And yet insome indescribable way, she kept recurring,
like a motive in music through allthose mad adventures afterwards, And the glory
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of her strange hair ran like ared thread through those dark and ill drawn
tapestries of the night. For whatfollowed was so improbable that it might well
have been a dream. When Ileft the party, went out into the
starlit street, I found Gregory waitingfor me. The time. Mister Gregory,
this evening you succeeded in doing somethingrather remarkable. You did something to
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me that no man has ever succeededin doing. The pore you irritated me.
I am very sorry. That isonly one way by which that insult
can be erased, and that wayI choose. I am going, at
the possible sacrifice of my life andhonor to prove to you that you are
wrong in what you said. Inwhat I said, you said I was
not serious about being an anarchist.Mister Sime, may I ask you to
swear, by whatever gods or saintsyour religion involves, that you will not
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reveal what I am now going totell you to any son of Adam,
and especially not to the police.Will you swear that if you will consent
to burden your soul with a bowthat you should never make and a knowledge
you should never dream about, Iwill promise you will return. You will
promise me in return, I willpromise you very entertaining. Your offers far
too idiotic to be declined. Yousay that a poet is always an anarchist.
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I disagree, but I hope atleast that he is always a sportsman.
Permit me here an how to swearthat as a Christian and to promise
as a good comrade and a fellowartist. But I will not report any
of this, whatever it is,to the police. And now what is
it? I think that we willtake a cab. A cab pulled up
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before a particularly dreary and greasy beershop. We seated ourselves in a close
and dim sort of bar parlor ata stained wooden table with one wooden leg.
Because I'm if in a few momentsthis table begins to turn around a
little. Please don't put it downto the champagne. I don't wish you
to do yourself and in justice.Well, if I'm not drunk, I'm
mad, but I trust I canbehave like a gentleman in either situation.
May I smoke a seven? Iwould have mine. I took us ag
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and started to light it. Almostbefore I had begun, a table at
which we were sitting began to revolve, first slowly and then rapid. You
mustn't mind it. It's kind ofscrew. It's so a kind of screw.
How simple that is. The nextmoment we two, with our chairs
and tables shut down to the floorsof the earth had swallowed us. Gregory
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let me down a low vaulted passage, at the end of which was a
heavy iron door. Who is it, mister Joseph Chamberlain, threas obviously some
kind of password. We stepped intoa queer steel chamber, whose walls were
hung with dubious and dreadful shapes,things that looked like the bulbs of iron
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plants or the eggs of iron birds. They were barred. And now,
my dear mister Sime, now weare quite cozy, so let us talk
properly. You said you are quitecertain I was not a serious anarchist.
Does this place spike who as beingserious? It does seem to have a
moral under all of its gaiety.But tell me to a heavy iron door.
You cannot pass it without submitting tothe humiliation of calling yourself mister Chamberlain.
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You surround yourself with steel instruments,which make the place, if I
may say so, more impressive thanhomelike. Why, after taking all this
trouble to barricade yourself in the barsof the earth, you then parade your
whole secret by talking anarchism to everysilly woman in Surfron far n so simple.
When first I became one of thenew anarchists. I tried all kinds
of respectable disguises, but at lastI went in despair to the President of
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the Central Anarchist Council, who isthe greatest man in Europe. What's his
name? You wouldn't know it,that is his greatness. He looked at
me, You want to save disguise, do you? I nodded,
Why then, bress up as ananarchist, you fool. I took his
advice and have never gregretted it.I preached blood and murder to those women
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day and night, and by Heaventhey would let me wield their priabulator.
He took me in. What doyou call this tremendous president of yours?
We call him Sunday. You see, there are seven members of the Central
Anarchist Council, and they are namedafter the days of the week. He
is called Sunday by some of hisadmirers. Bloody Sunday. It's curious that
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you should mention the matter, becausethis very night we've called a meeting to
elect a successor to the post ofThursday. And I don't mind telling you
that it's almost a settled thing thatI am to be Thursday. Gregorn I
gave you a promise before I cameinto this place. Would you give me,
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for my own safety a little promiseof the same kind, Yes,
a promise. I swore before Godthat I would not tell your secret to
the police. Will you swear,by humanity or whatever beastly thing you believe
in, that you will not tellmy secret to the anarchist? Your secret?
Have you? Yes? I havea secret? Will you swear?
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Yes? I will swear not totell the anarchists anything you tell me,
but look sharp, they will behere in a couple of more. I
don't know how to tell you thetruth, more shortly by saying that your
expedient of dressing up as a namelesspoet is not confined to you or your
president. We've known the dodge forsome time at Scotland's Yard. What you
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say, yes, Gregory, Iam a police detective. Chamberlain, mister
Joseph Chamberlain. It was repeated twice, and thrice, and then thirty times,
and the out of Joseph Chamberlain's asolemn thought could be heard trampling down
the corridor. Here are your friends, Gregor. In Comrade Gregoria, I
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suppose this man is a delegate.The fact is, Comrade, I have
been specially sent here to see thatyou show a due observance of Sunday.
Well, Comrade, I suppose we'dbetter give you a seat in a meeting.
Gregory, I could see, wasin an agony of diplomacy. Yes,
I think it is time we began. The tug is waking up the
river. I move that, Comrade, Buttons take the chair. He then
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our came had a comrade. Bycomrades, we all lament to stand the
teeth of the heroic workers who occupiedthe post of Thursday in the Central Council
until last week he organized the greatdynamite coup of Brighton, which, under
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happier circumstances, ought to have killedeverybody on the tier upon you. Tonight,
comrades evolved to choose out of thecompany present, the man who shall
be called Thursday. If any comradessub gents to name, I will put
into the boat. I will reComrade Gregory the game. Any one seconds
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the most before I put the manunto the boat, I will call on
Comrade Gregory to make a statement.Gregory Rose, you must have figured out
that his best chances to make ussoftened an ambiguous speech such as would leave
in my mind the impression that thebrotherhood was a very mild affair. After
all, then it is seem deepunder the earth that we, the persecuted,
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are permitted to as temble as theChristians, as tembled in the catacombs.
Suppose we seem as shocking as theChristians, because we are really as
harmless as the Christians. Suppose weseem as mad as the Christians, because
we are really as me, Iam not me. Comrade with a spoon
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tells us that he is not me. Ah, how little he knows himself.
We are simple as they were simple. Look at comrade with a spoon.
We are modest as they were modest. Look at me. We are
mercif now nay, we are mercifulas the early Christians were merciful. Yet
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this did not prevent at that beingaccused of eating flesh. Now we do
not eat human flesh. Shame.Why not Comrade with a spool is anxious
to know why nobody eats him inour society at any rate, which loves
him sincerely, which is hounded unlove, no, no down with lund
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love, there would be no difficultyabout the aims which we shall pursue as
a body, or which I shouldpursue were I chosen as they representative of
that body. Does anyone oppose theelection of Comrade Gregory in real time?
Come name, comes time, thespecial Delegator. Am we coming with this?
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Comrades? We line these walls withweapons and bar that door with death
lest anyone should come in here.Comrade Gregory is saying to us, be
good and you will be happy.Honesty is the best policy, and virtue
is its own reward. Comrade Gregoryhas told us we are not the enemies
of society. But I say thatwe are the enemies of society, and
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so much the worst for society.Hypocritic Comrade Gregory accuses me of hypocrisy.
He knows as well as I dothat I am keeping all my engagements and
doing nothing but my duty. Ido not mince words, I do not
pretend to. We do not wantthe Supreme Council of Anarchy infected with a
Martlin Mercy Gregory his milk and watermethods on the Supreme Council. I would
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offer myself for election an amendment thatComrade Time be appointed to the vote stop
or I tell you stop, andit is all impossible. I beg the
second election. Comrade, I kneelto you. Do not elect fist man.
The question is the comerad Time beelected to the vost of Thursday of
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the General Council. And three minutesafterwards, mister Gabriel Time of the Secret
Police Service was elected to the postof Thursday on the General Council of the
Anarchists of Europe. A moment laterI found myself, somehow or other,
face to face with Gregory. Andyou are a gentleman, Comrade Thursday.
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The vote is quite ready, ComradeGregory, You've kept your word. You're
a man of honor, and Ithank you. What do you mean?
What did I promise you a veryentertaining evening. My name is really Gabriel
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Syme. I'm not merely a detectivewho pretends to be a poet. I
am really a poet who has becomea detective. I come of a family
of cranks. One of my unclesalways walked about without a hat, and
another had made an unsuccessful attempt towalk about with a hat and nothing else.
Being surrounded with every conceivable kind ofrevolt from infancy, I had to
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revolt into something. So I revoltedinto the only thing left, which was
sanity. Now, some months beforethat evening in Saffron Park, I appeared
before a high official in Scotland Yard. I was led to a side door,
and almost before I knew what Iwas doing, I was suddenly shown
into a room, the abrupt blacknessof which startled me like a days of
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light. Are you the new recruit? All right, you're engaged. I
really have no experience. No onehas any experience in the Battle of Armageddon.
But I really unfit. You're willing. That isn't up. Really,
I don't know any profession of whichmere willingness is the final test. I
do matters. I'm condemning you todeath. Good day where my adventure ultimately
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led me, I've already told you. At about half past one on a
February night, I found myself steamingon a small tuck up for Silent Thames,
the duly elected Thursday of the CentralCouncil of Anarchists. As we came
alongside the great stones of the embankmentwere big and black against the huge white
dawn. I leapt out of theboat on the slimy steps a tug put
off again and turned upstream, andI saw that there was a man leaning
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over the parapet and looking out acrossthe river. And then the man smiled,
and his smile was a shock,for it was all on one side,
going up the right cheek and downon the left, with a dark
dawn and the deadly errand and theloneliness and the great dripping stones. There
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was something unnerving in it. Therewas the silent river and the silent man,
and there was the last nightmare touchthat his smile had suddenly went wrong.
We walk up dods Lester Square.We shall just be in time for
breakfast. Sunday always insists on anearly breakfast. But one corner of Leicester
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Square that projected the balcony of aprosperous but quiet hotel. The balcony contained
a breakfast table, and round thebreakfast table, glowing in the sunlight,
were a group of noisy and talkativemen, all dressed in the insolence of
fashion. Here then with the secretconclave of the European Dynamiters. Then as
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I continued to stare at them,I saw something that I had not seen
before, literally because it was toolarge to see at the nearest end of
the balcony, blocking up a greatpart of the perspective, with the back
of a great mountain of a man. I first thought that the weight of
him must break down the balcony ofstone. This man was planned enormously in
his original proportions, like a statue, carved deliberately as colossal. His head,
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crowned with white hair, as seenfrom behind, looked bigger than a
head ought to be. The earsthat stood out from it looked larger than
human ears. His sense of sizewas so staggering that when I saw him,
all the other figure seemed quite suddenlyto dwin and become dwarfish. They
were still sitting there as before,with their flowers and frock coats, but
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now it looked as if the bigman was entertaining five children to tea.
I never thought of asking whether themonstrous man who almost filled and broke the
balcony was the great President Sunday,whom the others had stood in awe.
I knew it was so. AsI walked across the inner room towards the
balcony, the large face of Sundaygrew larger and larger, and I was
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gripped with a fear that when hewas quite close, the face would be
too big to be possible, andthat I would scream aloud. I remember
that as a child I would notlook at the mask of Memnon in the
British Museum, because it was aface and so large. By an effort
braver than that of leaping over acliff, I went to an empty seat
at the breakfast table and sat down. At that moment the President was addressing
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of man's out of whose collar theresprang a bewildering bush of brown hair and
beard that almost obscured the eyes,like those of a sky terrier. The
man's name a team was Goggle.He was a poor and in the circle
of days he was called Tuesday afriend. Tuesday insists on the ways in
speech conspidertor no. If a gentlemangoes about London in the top every frock
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go, no one need know thathe's an anarchist. But if a gentleman
on the top very the frock coatand then goes about from his end and
leaves, well, may right convenyou. I am that good that can
feeling. I am not ashamed ofthe cord. If you are, my
boyam so he is the goals ofyou. I am not good that deception,
right, my boy, right,you are good in anything. As
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I looked at the others, Ibegan to see each of them exactly what
I had seen in the man bythe river. Each man was subtly and
differently wrong. Next to me,said Tuesday, the tazzle headed goggle.
Next was Wednesday, a certain Marquisde say Eustache. In the gloom and
thickness of his beard, a darkred mouth showed sensual and scornful. Whatever
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he was, he was not aFrenchman. Then came me a next,
a very old man, professor theWorms, who was Friday. The red
flower in his button hole showed upagainst a face that was literally discolored like
lead. The whole hideous effect wasas if some drunken dandies had put their
clothes upon a corpse. And rightat the end sat the man called Saturday.
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His name was doctor Ball. Therewas nothing whatever odd about him,
except that he wore a pair ofdark, almost opaque spectacles, and it
occurred to me that his eyes mightbe covered up because they were too frightful
to see. Such were the sixmen who had been sworn to destroy the
world. Only three days afterwards,it appeared the King of England was to
meet the President of the French republicanParis, and over their bacon and eggs
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upon their sunny balcony, these beaminggentlemen had decided how both should die.
Even the instrument was chosen. Theblack bearded marquet appeared was to carry the
bomb. Most the talk has paidlittle attention to me, but the President
was always looking at his daly andwith a great and baffling interest. I
was sure that, in some silence, an extraordinary way, Sunday had found
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out that I was a spy.In China, men were eating as they
talked. The Marquis took a greatbite of bread and jam. I have
often wondered whether it wouldn't be betterfor me to do it with a knife,
And it would be a new emotionto get a knife into a French
president and wriggle it around. Youare wrong. A knife was merely an
expression of the old personal power witha personal tyrant. Dynamite is not only
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our best tool, but our bestsymbol. It expands, it also destroys
because it broadens and brain a man'sbrains a bomb mind brain to you like
a bomb night and day. Itmust expand. It must expand. A
man's brain must expand if it breaksthe universe. I don't want the universe
broken, officials yet, and Iwant to do a lot of decently things
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before I die. I thought ofone yesterday in bed. The questioned em
if how Comad Wednesday is to strikethe blow as to the actual arrangement,
I suggest, but tomorrow he shouldgo first of all. Oh, we
discussed that I have something very particularto say. The instant of choice had
come. At last. The pistolwas at my head. No are speeches
more comfort of mind. Google.Sit down with the other Gudgement at this
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table for the first time this morning. Something intelligence is going to be said.
I sat down first. No oneexcept he seemed of any notion of
the blow. That was about afour comrades. We have spun out this
past long enough. We were discussingplans and naming places. I proposed that
those friends and places should be leftholy in control of Comrade Saturday, Doctor
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Bull. Not one word more aboutthe plans and places must be said at
this meeting. The Almal feverishly intheir seat, sickspt me. I sat
stiff in mine, with my handin my pocket and on the handle of
my loaded revolver. Gentlemen, thereis a spy at this table who waste
no more words. His name halfrose from my seat, my finger firm
on the dreame is, he said, Harry, I'm over there who pretends
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to be a poet name no man. I gather that you fully understand your
position your bet. I see it'sa fair cup. All I say is
I don't believe any poor could havehe me think that my accent like I
did his. I can see thepoint. I can leave you an excent
to be in imidable you. Ifyou practice it in my bath, you
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may leaving your beard with your cardnot a bit you they if you ever
tell the police or any human soulabout us who have exactly two and a
half minutes of discounts of your discount, I will not dwell. Good day.
I am instep. It's a detectivewho had masqueraded as Goggle. Rose
to his feet without a word andwalked out of the room with an air
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of perfect natural lance. There wasa slight stumble outside the door, which
showed that the departing detective had notminded his step. I am is playing
was get on the bus. Ihave taken chair the humanitarian meeting. Would
not be better to discuss further thedetails of our project now than that the
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spy has left us sacred rave Ifyou take our head home and boil it
for return, if it might beuseful, I can't say, mate,
I really fail to understand you.To understand? Are you dancing Dongay?
You didn't want to be an overheardby a spide to you? How you
know you aren't overheard? Now withthese words, Sunday showed it his way
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out of the room, shaking withincomprehensible scorn. Now, if the last
words of the president meant anything,they meant that I had, after all
not passed unsuspected. The other fourgot to their feet, that took themselves
elsewhere to find lunch. Only theold anarchist, old professoritive worms remained behind,
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seated before me at the table,mister of your sam Yes, Professor
two, policeman, Policeman boven madeyou think of a policeman in connection with
me the process or simple enough?I thought you look like a policeman.
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I think so now, why mustI have be a policeman? Do let
me be a postman? Will giveme ask a plain question, your faltering
spy? Are you? Are younot a police detective? No, I
swear it. If you swear falsely, will you be damned? Will you
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be sure that the devil dances atyour funeral? Will you see that the
nightmare sits on your grave? Youare an anarchist, You are a dynamiter.
Bof all, you are not inany sense a detective. You are
not in the British Police. I'mnot in the British Police. Professor to
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worms fell back in his seat witha curious earth kindly collapse. Oh that's
a pity, because I am becauseyou were what I am a policeman,
a special policeman, and I serveunder the man in the dark room.
A man in the dark room.I understand. Of course you're not an
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old man at all. I can'ttake my face off here. It's rather
an elaborate makeup. Did you knowthat that man Goga was one of us?
No? But didn't you? Iknew no more than the day then
there were three of us, there, three of us sitting here out of
seven, and it's a fighting number. If we'd only known that there were
three were three, If we hadbeen three hundred, we still could have
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done nothing. Not if we werethree hundred against four, Not if we
were three hundred against Sunday Professor's areyou afraid of this man? Yes?
I am so, are you?Yes, you're right, I am afraid
of him. Therefore I swear byGod I will seek out this man whom
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I fear, until I find himand strike him on the mouth. If
heaven were his thrown in the earth, his footstool, I swear that I
would pull him down. Now whybecause I'm afraid of him, and no
man should leave in the universe anythingof which he is afraid. You any
idea exactly what you're going to do. Yes, I'm going to prevent this
bomb being thrown in Paris any conceptionhouse. You remember, of course,
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when we broke up rather hurriedly,the whole arrangements for the ad fast that
they were left in the private handsor the marquis in doctor Bull. The
Marquis is by this time probably crossingthe channel. The only man who knows
where he's going is doctor Bull.Confounded, and we don't know where Bull
is. Yes, I know wherehe is. Will you tell me?
I'll take you there. What doyou mean, would you join me?
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Would you take a risk? Youngman? You think that it is possible
to pull down the President? Iknow that it is impossible, and I'm
going to try it all your specialattention to the new series of broadcasts by
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the Mercury Theater with Orson Wells asstar and director, which will commence next
Sunday night at eight pm Eastern daylightSaving time. And now a brief pause
for station identification. This is theColumbia Broadcasting System. We continue now with
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the performance of G. K.Chesterton's The Man Who Was Thursday by Orson
Wells and the Mercury Theater on theair. The Professor me to a very
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respectable inn, and in that placewe dine very thoroughly. Can you play
the piano? Yes, I'm supposedto have a good touch. Would have
done just as well if you couldwork a typewriter. Thank you, you
flatter me. There is no manexcept the President who is so seriously startling
and formidable as doctor Bull. Alittle grinning fellow in goggles depend upon it.
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Sunday was not asleep when he lockedup all the plans of this outrage
in the round black head of doctorBull. Do you think that this unique
monster will be soothed if I playthe piano to him? I mentioned the
piano because it gives one quick andindependent fingers. Simon, if we are
to go through this interview and comeout saying or alive, they must have
some code of signals between us thatthis brute will not see. I have
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made a rough alphabetical site for correspondentthe five fingers like this B, A,
D bad, a word we mayfrequently require. I began to study
the scheme. Didn't take me longto learn how we might convey simple messages
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by what would seem to be idletaps upon a table or knee. It's
not long before doctor Ball came in. Sat down at our table. He
smiled brightly, you're alle this evening, gentleman. A quiet, good humor
of his manner left us helpless.We sat staring at each other in silent
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I am an intuition, and siton it. It is quite an extraordinary
intuition. Extraordinary. I am apoet. You're a kidman, scarcely realize
how poetic. My intuition is ithas that sudden quality we sometimes feel in
the coming of sprinkled and places.Doctor Ball to Ball, Doctor Ball,
would you do me a small favor? Would you be so kind as to
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take off your spectacles? Doctor Bullrose slowly, still smiling, and took
off his spectacles. He was sittingin the chair before us, and we
saw there a very boyish looking youngman. The smile was still there,
but it might have been the firstsmile of a baby, Doctor Ball.
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I am a police officer. Thedark room, the dark room. Well,
I'm awfully glad you came so early. If we can all start for
France together, yes, I'm inthe vos all right, What good heavens
If this were true, there weremore blasted detectives, and there were blasted
dynamiters at the blasted council, wemight easily have fought. We were four
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against three. No, no,we were not four against three. We
were not so lucky. We arefour again. One an hour later,
we were already on the Calais boat. The fact it comes of it as
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this. We three are alone onthis planet. Now we must do something
to keep the marquis in Calais tilltomorrow midday, while the king goes safely
through Paris. The only thing Ican see to do is actually to take
advantage of the very things that inthe Marquis's favor. Gentleman, I'm going
to profit by the fact that heis a nobleman and has many friends and
moves in the best society are youtalking about? The Marquis cannot deny that
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he is a gentleman. In inorder to put the matter of my social
position quite beyond a doubt, Ipropose, at the earliest opportunity to knock
his hat off. But here weare in the harbor, gentleman, we've
reached Calais. A band was playingin a cafe Chanta, hidden somewhere among
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the trees, where sat the Marquisis saying you stash. The man had
two companions, solemn frenchmen in silkhats. Alwas you sign? I think,
and you are the Marquis de signa stash. Permit me to pull
your nose, which I attempted todo, but for two men in top
hats held me back. This manhas insulted me. Cled you went,
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oh, just now he is insultedmy mother mother. Well anyhow, my
aunt, But how can the Marquis. E haven't sold it? John an
Joe's now he has been sitting hereholding down. That was what he said,
nothing all except about the band.I only said that I like Wagner.
I played well. It was anallusion to my family. My aunt
played Wagner badly. It was apainful subject. We were always being insulted
about it. It seems most exploded. I assure you. The whole of
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your conversation was simply packed with silisterallusions to my aunt's weakness. Oh this
is nonsense. I for one,I've said nothing for Havana except that I
like to see that girl with theblack hair. Oh there you are again.
My ants was read. It seemsto me that you're simply seeking a
pretext to insert the Marquis fight.George, What a clever chap you are
seeking. Acquired with me by abandava Manuel to seek long these gentlemen will
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perhaps act for me. There arestill four hours of daylight. Let us
fight this evening. Marquis. Youraction is worthy of your fame and blood.
Permit me to consult with a gentlemanin whose hands I shall place myself.
Good day, I am what areyou up to? Alison careflay?
Poor professor, you are my seconds, and you must insist on the duo
(38:30):
coming off after seven tomorrow so asto keep him from catching the seven forty
five for Paris. If he missesthat, training misses the King of England,
you understand. So at seven twentywe met on a small meadow not
far from the railway. I'd madeup my mind that I could avoid disabling
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the Marquis and prevent the Marquis fromdisabling me for at least twenty minutes.
In twenty minutes, the Paris trainwould have gone by, gentlemen, engage.
I'm not a bad fighter. Everynow and then I had almost fasted
it. I felt my fight gohome. But there was no blood on
the blade or am I shout?And now we could hear the Paris train.
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There was no doubt about to hitthis time. I was as certain
that I had struck my blade intomy enemy as a garden never the suck
his spade into the ground. Yet, since there was no blood on it
at all, Monkey thought wildly.He constantly looked away at the railway line,
almost as if he feared a trainmore than the pointed steel. I
ain't less of the Marquis's body,and more it is throughton head. A
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minute and a half alfterwards, Ifelt the point under the man's neck,
below the jaw. It came outclean. I thrust again, and may
who should have been a bloody scaron the Marquis's cheek? There was no
scar. I want to say something. It is rather important. It's a
sign. You expressed a wish topull my nose. Would you obliged by
(39:58):
pulling my nose now as quickly aspossible? I have to catch a train.
I protest that this is most irregularly, or will you not pull my
nose? Come? Come, mistersign, don't be selfish, pull my
nose at once. When I askedyou, I took two paces forward and
seize the Roman nose of this remarkablenobleman. I pulled it hard, and
(40:20):
it came off in my hand.If anyone has the use for my left
eyebrow, he cannot my left eyebrow. It is the kind of thing that
might come in useful any day.The Marquis was recklessly throwing parts of himself
right and left about the field.You are making a mistake, but it
can't be explained. Just now Itell you the train has come into the
station, yes, marquis, andthe train shall go out of the station.
(40:40):
It shall go out without you.Will you drive me mad? You
shall not go by the train,great quat laugh, said blair eyed,
blundering, pondering, brainless, doddering, glass of pool, you great sunny
pink face by the train. Ifyou shall not go by this train?
And why is ther bunal braisless?What I want to go by the train?
We know all you are going toParis to throw a barn to Cherich
or to throw at Chabawak. Ididn't care about catching the train. I
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care about whether the train caught me, And now by God it has caught.
What do you mean? It meanseverything, the end of everything.
Sunday has us now in the hollowof his hands. What do you mean
by us the police? Of course, I am no marquy. I am
Inspector Rector of Scotland Yards. Inthe whole bally lot of us on the
Anarchist Concil were against anarchy. Everybonne man who was a detective, except
(41:28):
the President in his personal secretary.What can it mean means that we are
struck dead? Don't you know,Sunday, I tell you he's bought every
trust, He's captured every cable.He has control of every railway line,
especially of that railway line. Thewhole movement was controlled by him. Half
the world was ready to rise forhim. But there were just five people,
perhaps who could have resisted him,and the old devil put them on
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the Supreme Council to waste that timein watching each other. Sunday knew that
the Professor would chase Sime through London, that Sime would fight me in France,
and he was combined great masses ofchapital, seizing great lines of telegraphy,
while we five idiots were running aftereach other like a lot of confounded
babies playing blind Man's box. Andsince you really want to know what was
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my objection to the arrival of thattrain, I'll tell you. My objection
was that Sunday or his secretary hasjust this moment got out of him.
We all turned our eyes toward thestation. A considerable bulk of people seemed
to be moving in our direction,maybe ordinary tourists, ordinary tourists, where
black masks halfway down the face.It was quite true that the leader in
front wore a black half mask almostdown to his mouth, and the mouth
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was smiling, a crooked smile onone side of the face. I believe
it. The thing is nonsense.The plain people of a peaceable French tower.
Several chis pray resuming or remarks buckable, you are talking. I think
about the plain people of a peaceableFrench tower. Here come the police.
They're joursing them on. No,no, they're forming along the parade.
I've unflung that car byres and aguide a fire on him. Lace have
(42:58):
joined the mob, but dancing steadily. It was almost on top of us.
Charge the anarchist There was no doubtof it. The leader was Monday,
Monday secretary of the council. Underthe black masket's mouth was working horribly
Monday, stop charge the anarchist swordswhere our time has come to die for
some mistakes the same I heartily thinkyou understand your position. I arrest you
(43:21):
in the name of the law.Law. But you are a secretary of
the Anarchist Council. Nonsense. Iam a detective from Scotland. Yard that
(43:45):
night, five bewildered but hilarious.Detectives returned to London, and next morning,
having found Goggle, we marched stolidlytoward the hotel in mister Square.
This is more a cheerful We area sex man going to ask one man
what do you mean. I thinkit's a bit queerer than that. I
think it's six men going to askone man what they mean. We saw
(44:13):
at once the little balcony in afigure that looked too big for it.
He was sitting alone with bent head, poring over a newspaper, but all
his counselors would come to vote himdown. Cross that square, as if
we were watched out of heaven bya hundred eyes. We went up the
dark stair in silence, so pleasedto see you all of an ex inde,
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no, sir, there has beenno massacre. I bring you news
of no such disgusting spectacle. Disgustingspectacles you mean, doctor bull spectacle,
I specked old black, But I'mnot look at my face, I dar
see it's the sort of face thatgrows on one effected, grows on you,
I dares who grow on me?Some day? We have come here
(45:01):
to know what all this means.Who are you. What are you?
I want by If you want toknow what you are, You're a set
of highly well intentioned can get it. Thank you? What are you?
What am I? The President roseslowly to incredible heights like some enormous wave
(45:29):
about the arch above us, andbreak. You want to know what I
am? Do you wull? You'rea man of science, grabbing the roots
of these trees and find out thetruth about them. Same you're a poet.
Stare at those morning clouds and tellme the truth about mourning clouds.
(45:49):
Say tell you this that you wouldhave found out the truth of the last
tree in the topmost cloud before thetruth about me. You will understand a
sea, and I shall still bea riddle. You shall know what the
stars are and not know what Iam. Since the beginning of the world,
(46:10):
all men have hunted me like awoman, kings and sieges and poets
and lawgivers, all the churches andall the philosophies. But I have never
been bought yet. And the skieswill fall in the time I turned to
be. I have given them agood run for them, and he and
(46:30):
I will now before any of uscould move, the monstrous man had swung
himself over the balustrade of the balcony. Yet before he dropped, he pulled
himself up again and thrust his greatchin over the edge of the balcony as
wending. I'll tell you though aboutwho I am. I am the man
in the dark room who made youall policemen. Sunday fell from the balcony,
(47:01):
bouncing on the stones below like agreat ball of India rubber, and
went bounding off towards the corner ofthe Alhambra, where he hailed a handsome
cabin sprang inside of it. Ofcourse, we all followed him, and
at the highest ecstasy of speed,Sunday turned round, and, sticking his
great grinning head out of the cab, he made a horrible face at us,
flung a ball of paper me andvanished. I caught the paper time.
(47:21):
Let's see, no one would regretanything in the nature of an interference
by the Archdeacon more than I Itrust it will not come to that.
But for the last time, whereare your goloshes? The thing is too
bad, especially after what uncle said. Fire engine appeared at the President leaped
(47:49):
incredibly from his handsome caught the backof the engine and slung himself on to
it. Our captain whipped up theirhorses, and the President acknowledged this proximity
by coming to the back of thefire engine, bowing, repeatedly, kissing
his hand, and finally flinging outto us a neatly folded note. Please
plead its fly on your friends.What may Sitess Sunday had jumped from the
(48:21):
fire engine over and iron gate,and we'd follow him to kind of park?
Cannot be the old devil's hello,you pulled the zoo, come this
way, that's what? Come where? And then gone men and run away?
Why he run away? With thenote gentleman, the poor old gentleman
was white? There what sort ofold gentleman? And gentlemen? And like
bay Clow, the elephant had notrun away with him. He had run
(48:42):
away in the elephan And by thunder, there he is. There was no
doubt about it. This time cleanedacross the space of grass with a crowd
screaming and scampering, with a hugegray elephant on it bank President Sunday,
with all the facility of a suddengive beyond the gate. Stop. Believe
(49:07):
he's out of the gate. Throughstreet after street, through district after district
went the Prodigy of the Flying elephants, and we followed it through the city,
out into the suburbs, and finallyto the fairgrounds. The president had
disappeared. Look over there, lookat what? Look at the cat keep
(49:27):
balloon? Why do blazers should Ilook at the Captain balloon? What is
the queer bottle captain balloon? Thing? Except that it isn't Captain thousand Devils.
He's tangling. We'd followed that balloonall afternoon. We'd followed it,
(49:49):
and then about twilight the preposterous thinghad staggered in the sky and sunk from
view into the woods. So ifhe's cheetad us all by getting killed,
it would be like one of hislocks. And almost at the same moment,
all six of us realized that wewere not alone in the little field.
Across a square of turf, atall man was coming towards us,
leaning on a strange long staff likea scepter. His advance was very quiet.
(50:15):
He might have been one of theshadows of the wood. Gentle room,
my master has a carriage waiting foryou in the road just by.
Who is your master? I wastold you knew your name, whereas this
carriage has been waiting only a fewmoments. My master has only just come
(50:36):
home. All six of us comparednotes afterwards and quarreled, but we all
agreed that, in some unaccountable way, the place where we came that night
reminded us of our boyhood, witheither this elm top or that crooked path
(50:58):
that was either this scrap of orchardor the shape of a window. But
each man of us declared that hecould remember this place before he could remember
his mother. Refreshments are provided foryou in your room. I undered a
spended suite of apartments that seemed tobe designed specially for me. I have
put out your clothes clothes. Ihave no clothes except fees. My master
asks me to say that there isa fancy dress ball tonight. You ought
(51:22):
to be dressed as Thursday. Dressedas Thursday doesn't sound a very warm costume,
Yes, sir, Thursday costume isquite warm, sir. It fastens
up to the chin. I wasled onto a very large old English garden
(51:44):
full of torches and bonfires, bythe broken light of which a vast carnival
of people were dancing in motley dress. I seemed to see every shape in
nature imitated in some crazy costume.There was a man dressed as a wind
mule with a normous sails, aman dressed as an elephant, a man
dressed as a balloon. There wasa dancing lamp post, a dancing apple
(52:06):
tree, a dancing ship. Onewould have thought that the untamable tune of
some mad musician had set all thecommon objects of field and street dancing an
eternal jig. And long afterwards,when I was middle aged and at rest,
I could never see one of thoseparticular objects, a lamp post,
or an apple tree, or awindmill, without thinking that it was a
(52:29):
strayed reveler from that revel of amasquerade. On one side of this lawn,
in a kind of crescent, stoodseven great chairs, the thrones of
the seven days. And so thenight wore on, and finally the last
of the dances vanished, and thefire faded at the long, slow,
(52:51):
strong stars came out, and weseven strange men were left alone, like
seven stone statues on our chairs.Stone. Then Sunday spook. We will
eat and drink later. Let usremain together a little, we who have
loved each other so sadly the thoughtso long, I seem to remember only
(53:15):
centuries of heroic war, which youwere always heroes, epic Iliad on Iliad,
you always brothers in our Tell mewho are you? I am the
seven, I am the peace ofGod. I am grateful to you,
(53:36):
not only for wine and hospitality here, but for many a fine scamper and
free fight. But I should liketo know my soul and heart are as
happy and quiet here of this oldgarden. But my reason is still crying
(53:58):
out. I should like to knowit seemed so silly that you should have
been on both sides and thought yourselfand heard your complaints. Yeah, I
think it comes another also, Andwe saw standing before us, the red
headed poet of suffering Park Gregory.Why this is the real anarchist. Yes,
(54:24):
I am the real anarchists. Ifthere came a day when the sons
of God came before the Lord andSatan also came with them, all right,
I am a destroyer. I woulddestroy the world if I could.
Almost unhappy man, try to behappy. You have read here, Like
your sister. I know what youare, all of you, from first
to last, not the people inpower. You're the police but great bat
(54:45):
smiling men in blue and buttons,not the law, the seven nameels of
heaven. And you've had no troubles. Oh, I could forgive you everything,
if I could feel for once thatyou had suffered for one hour,
a real agony, such as Isee everything, everything, everything that there
(55:05):
is. Why does each thing onearth war against each other thing? Why
does a fly have to fight thewhole universe? Why does a dandelion have
to fight the whole universe? Forthe same reason that I had to be
alone in the dreadful counsel of thedays, so that each thing that obeys
law may have the glory and theisolation of the anarchist, so that by
(55:28):
tears and torture we may earn theright to say to this accuser, we
also have suffered. I repel aslander. We have not been happy.
I can answer for every one ofthe great gods of Law whom he is
accused. At least. And Isaw suddenly the great face of Sunday.
(55:58):
Have you ever suffered? As Igazed, the great face grew to an
awful size, larger than the colossalmask of Memnon, which had made me
scream as a child. It grewlarger and larger, filling the whole sky.
Then in the blackness before it entirelydestroyed my brain, I seemed to
(56:23):
hear a distant voice saying a commonplacetext that I had heard somewhere. Can
ye drink of the cup I drinkof? When men in books awake from
(56:44):
a vision, they commonly find themselvesin some place in which they might have
fallen asleep. I could only rememberthat. Gradually and naturally I knew that
I was awake and had been walkingalong a country lane. Dawn was breaking
over everything in colors at once clearand timid, as if nature made a
(57:07):
first attempt at yellow, and afirst attempt at rose. A breeze blew
so clean and sweet that one couldnot think it blew from the sky.
It blew rather through some hole inthe sky. I felt a simple surprise
when I saw, rising all roundme on both sides of the road,
(57:30):
the red, irregular buildings of SaffronPark. I walked by instinct along one
white road on which early birds hoppedand sang, and found myself outside a
fenced garden. And there I sawthe sister of Gregory Rosamond, the girl
with a gold red hair, cuttingLilac before breakfast with a great unconscious gravity
(57:58):
of a girl to night. TheColumbia Broadcasting System, through its member stations
(58:21):
coast to coast and the network ofthe Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, has brought your
production of G. K. Chesterton'sThe Man Who Was Thursday by Orson Wells
and the Mercury Theater on the air. The adaptation for radio is made by
mister Wells. This Monday Night concludesthe summer broadcast which have introduced the Mercury
Theater as the first complete theatrical producingcompany in radio. But the tremendous response
(58:45):
with their efforts of drawn from allparts of the country has insured their continuance
with us through the coming months.The Columbia Broadcasting System is therefore proud to
announce a new series of weekly productionsby Orson Wells and the Mercury Theater on
the air, beginning next Sunday eveningSeptember eleventh, from eight to nine o'clock
(59:05):
Eastern daylight saving time. The firstplay next Sunday at eight will be Vincent
van Gogh and original drama based onthe letters of the famous painter to his
brother, THEO and the records ofhis biographers in the cast this evening Sunday,
Eustace Wyatt, the Professor, RayCollins, Gregory, George Coloris,
the Marquis, Edgar Barrier, GogaalPaul Stewart Bull, Joseph Cotton, the
(59:30):
Secretary, Erskine Sandford Witherspoon, AlanDevitt, Rosamond, Anna Stafford, and
Gabriel Sime the Man who was Thursdayby Orson Wells Davidson Taylor supervised for the
Columbia Network. This is dan Seymourspeaking. The orchestra was directed by Alexander
Sembler. Remember next Sunday evening ateight o'clock Eastern daylight saving time, Orson
(01:00:22):
Wells and the Mercury Theater on theair in Vincent van Gogh. Be sure
(01:00:42):
to be at your radio next Mondayat nine pm Eastern daylight saving time.
That's when the Lux Radio Theater beginsits new series of broadcasts, same stations
as last year. The first presentationwill be Spawn of the North with George
Raft, Fred mc murray, JohnBarrymore, Dorotheelder Moo Laura And next Monday
at nine pm Eastern daylight saving time. This is the Columbia broadcasting system.
(01:01:25):
Welcome back. Well you can unravelthe meaning of that for yourself. The
Mercury Theater did a fantastic job.This is why it's always such a trait
to be able to bring you oneof their productions in Chesterton. Just the
way he said things, the dialogue, the descriptions, it is just such
(01:01:47):
beautifully unique language. It always makesanything by Chesterton great. Tell lesten to,
by the way, if you'd liketo hear a more expansive version of
this, The Baby Say produced athirteen part version of this, and it
was actually played on BABC Radio seven, they're online drama station, back in
(01:02:12):
July. All right, well that'lldo it from here. We'll be back
tomorrow with the Thin Man. Inthe meantime, send your comments to Box
thirteen at Great Detectives dot net,follow us over on Twitter at Radio Detectives,
and you can always give us acall to oh eight nine nine one
four seven eight three from Boise,Idaho. This is your host, Adam
(01:02:35):
graham Son and off
Welcome into the Great Detectives of OldTime Radio and our three hundredth episode special.
As always, feel free to sendyour comments to Box thirteen at Great
Detectives dot net follow us over onTwitter at Radio Detectives. Today's episode of
the Great Detectives of Old Time Radiois brought to you through my book Tales
(00:51):
of the Damn Night. It's availablefrom Splashdown Books. You can go to
Great Detectives dot Net available as anebook for four twenty five, but a
Great Detectives dot Net or dim Nightdot com for even more purchasing options.
Well A Man Who Was Thursday fromthe Mercury Theater on the Air is this
week's production. This actually concluded thesummer production of the Mercury Theater, though
(01:18):
it would be moving to a newnight and would a few months later have
its famous War of the World's broadcast. We of course came to the Mercury
Theater for the first time a yearago, and it's great to be back
for another masterful performance by Orson Welles, and the story is quite unique.
The Man Who Was Thursday is amystery story and is often considered an early
(01:45):
work of detective fiction, but it'salso often considered a fantasy. It's hard
to define, it's hard to explain, but it definitely provokes plenty of thought,
and mister Wells will address this alittle bit in is opening. One
thing that he does make a referenceto is that the story was set in
(02:07):
the age of the anarchist. Today, well, anarchism has not thought of
as a positive thing. It's notreally thought of as a big threat.
But in the early part of thetwentieth century the anarchists were quite dangerous and
quite violent. In fact, itwas an anarchist that killed the President of
the United States, William McKinley innineteen oh one. So in the period
(02:31):
of The Man Who Was Thursday,when this was released in nineteen o six,
the anarchists were kind of like wewould imagine Alcotta today. Unfortunately,
every recording of this play that Ifound has the first paragraph or soul of
(02:51):
mister Wells's introduction cut off, aswell as the opening theme music and the
abs announcer. Thankfully, I havefound a script which means I can go
ahead and read you the first paragraphthat mister Wells spoke, and then we'll
head out to the Mercury Theater tohear the rest from Orson Welles, good
(03:16):
evening, ladies and gentlemen. G. K. C. Gilbert Keith Chesterton,
great, greatly articulate Roman convert andliberal, has been dead now for
two years. For a unique brandof common sense, enthusiasm, for a
singular gift of paradox, for adeep reverence and a high wit, and
(03:38):
most of all, for free andshamelessly beautiful English prose. He will never
be forgotten. And here now ismister Orson Wells with the Man who was
Thursday. Here on the great detectivesof old time radio would be famous.
According to the story, that's whatthe young ladies said to the fat Man,
(04:00):
the fabulously, fatly fantastic, thefamous fat Man, when he took
it to lunch at a fashionable restaurant, and everybody turned and stared. Tell
me, she said, do peoplealways recognize you? Does everybody always know
who you are? Well, mydear, said mister Chesterton. If they
don't, they ask. Mister Chesterton'sThe Man who Was Thursday is a little
(04:21):
like that. Roughly speaking, it'sabout anarchists. It was written remember in
the boom of bomb throwing, inthose radical, irresponsible days of the Nihilists,
And roughly speaking, it's a mysterystory. It can be guaranteed that
you will never never guess the solutionuntil you get to the end. It
is even feared that you may notguess it. Then you may never guess
(04:44):
what the Man who was Thursday isabout. But definitely if you don't you
lask. I am Gabriel's sim Iam the man who was Thursday. That
particular evening, if it is rememberedfor nothing else will be remembered in that
(05:10):
place. For its strange sunset,it looked like the end of the world.
It may be remembered by others too, because it marked the first appearance
in the place of the second poetof Saffron Park. For a long time,
a red haired revolutionary had reigned withouta rival. It was upon the
night of the sunset that I Gabrielsign ended his solitude the sime you say
(05:32):
you are a point of law,I say you are a contradiction. In
terms, an artist is identical withan anarchist. Mister Gregory, it is
things going right that is poetical.Our digestions, for instance, going sacredly
and silently right. The most poeticalthing in the world is not being sat
grilling is to sign the examples?Who true? I beg your pardon,
mister Gregory. I forgot we hadabolished all conventions. You don't expect me
(05:56):
to revolutionary society on this law.No, I don't. But I suppose
that if you are serious about youranarchism, that is exactly what you would
do. Don't you think then thatI'm serious about my anarchism. I beg
your pardon. Am I not seriousabout my anarchism? I strolled away and
left Gregory, But with surprise,and with a curious pleasure, I found
a red headed young lady still inmy company. It was Rosamond Gregory's sister.
(06:20):
That's the time to the people whotalk like you and my brother often
mean what they say. Do youmean what you say? Now, my
dear miss Gregory, when you saythank you for the salt, do you
mean what you say? No?When you say the world is round,
you mean what you say? No, it's quite true, but you don't
mean it. Is you really ananarchist only in that sense I speak of,
or if you prefer it in thatnonsense? You wouldn't really use bombs?
(06:43):
So that sort of thing, Ithink, good Lord, no,
that has to be done anonymously.I strolled with her to a seat in
the corner of the garden, andI defended respectability with violence and exaggeration.
I grew passionate in my praise oftidiness and propriety. All the time.
There was a smell of lilac aroundme. And once I heard, very
faintly, in some distant street,a barrelog and begin to play, And
(07:08):
it seemed to me that my heroicwords were moving to a tiny tune from
under or beyond the world. Inthe wild events which were to follow.
This girl had no part at all. I never saw again until all my
tear was over. And yet insome indescribable way, she kept recurring,
like a motive in music through allthose mad adventures afterwards, And the glory
(07:30):
of her strange hair ran like ared thread through those dark and ill drawn
tapestries of the night. For whatfollowed was so improbable that it might well
have been a dream. When Ileft the party, went out into the
starlit street, I found Gregory waitingfor me. The time. Mister Gregory,
this evening you succeeded in doing somethingrather remarkable. You did something to
(07:53):
me that no man has ever succeededin doing. The pore you irritated me.
I am very sorry. That isonly one way by which that insult
can be erased, and that wayI choose. I am going, at
the possible sacrifice of my life andhonor to prove to you that you are
wrong in what you said. Inwhat I said, you said I was
not serious about being an anarchist.Mister Sime, may I ask you to
swear, by whatever gods or saintsyour religion involves, that you will not
(08:15):
reveal what I am now going totell you to any son of Adam,
and especially not to the police.Will you swear that if you will consent
to burden your soul with a bowthat you should never make and a knowledge
you should never dream about, Iwill promise you will return. You will
promise me in return, I willpromise you very entertaining. Your offers far
too idiotic to be declined. Yousay that a poet is always an anarchist.
(08:37):
I disagree, but I hope atleast that he is always a sportsman.
Permit me here an how to swearthat as a Christian and to promise
as a good comrade and a fellowartist. But I will not report any
of this, whatever it is,to the police. And now what is
it? I think that we willtake a cab. A cab pulled up
(09:05):
before a particularly dreary and greasy beershop. We seated ourselves in a close
and dim sort of bar parlor ata stained wooden table with one wooden leg.
Because I'm if in a few momentsthis table begins to turn around a
little. Please don't put it downto the champagne. I don't wish you
to do yourself and in justice.Well, if I'm not drunk, I'm
mad, but I trust I canbehave like a gentleman in either situation.
May I smoke a seven? Iwould have mine. I took us ag
(09:26):
and started to light it. Almostbefore I had begun, a table at
which we were sitting began to revolve, first slowly and then rapid. You
mustn't mind it. It's kind ofscrew. It's so a kind of screw.
How simple that is. The nextmoment we two, with our chairs
and tables shut down to the floorsof the earth had swallowed us. Gregory
(09:48):
let me down a low vaulted passage, at the end of which was a
heavy iron door. Who is it, mister Joseph Chamberlain, threas obviously some
kind of password. We stepped intoa queer steel chamber, whose walls were
hung with dubious and dreadful shapes,things that looked like the bulbs of iron
(10:11):
plants or the eggs of iron birds. They were barred. And now,
my dear mister Sime, now weare quite cozy, so let us talk
properly. You said you are quitecertain I was not a serious anarchist.
Does this place spike who as beingserious? It does seem to have a
moral under all of its gaiety.But tell me to a heavy iron door.
You cannot pass it without submitting tothe humiliation of calling yourself mister Chamberlain.
(10:35):
You surround yourself with steel instruments,which make the place, if I
may say so, more impressive thanhomelike. Why, after taking all this
trouble to barricade yourself in the barsof the earth, you then parade your
whole secret by talking anarchism to everysilly woman in Surfron far n so simple.
When first I became one of thenew anarchists. I tried all kinds
of respectable disguises, but at lastI went in despair to the President of
(10:56):
the Central Anarchist Council, who isthe greatest man in Europe. What's his
name? You wouldn't know it,that is his greatness. He looked at
me, You want to save disguise, do you? I nodded,
Why then, bress up as ananarchist, you fool. I took his
advice and have never gregretted it.I preached blood and murder to those women
(11:18):
day and night, and by Heaventhey would let me wield their priabulator.
He took me in. What doyou call this tremendous president of yours?
We call him Sunday. You see, there are seven members of the Central
Anarchist Council, and they are namedafter the days of the week. He
is called Sunday by some of hisadmirers. Bloody Sunday. It's curious that
(11:39):
you should mention the matter, becausethis very night we've called a meeting to
elect a successor to the post ofThursday. And I don't mind telling you
that it's almost a settled thing thatI am to be Thursday. Gregorn I
gave you a promise before I cameinto this place. Would you give me,
(12:00):
for my own safety a little promiseof the same kind, Yes,
a promise. I swore before Godthat I would not tell your secret to
the police. Will you swear,by humanity or whatever beastly thing you believe
in, that you will not tellmy secret to the anarchist? Your secret?
Have you? Yes? I havea secret? Will you swear?
(12:24):
Yes? I will swear not totell the anarchists anything you tell me,
but look sharp, they will behere in a couple of more. I
don't know how to tell you thetruth, more shortly by saying that your
expedient of dressing up as a namelesspoet is not confined to you or your
president. We've known the dodge forsome time at Scotland's Yard. What you
(12:48):
say, yes, Gregory, Iam a police detective. Chamberlain, mister
Joseph Chamberlain. It was repeated twice, and thrice, and then thirty times,
and the out of Joseph Chamberlain's asolemn thought could be heard trampling down
the corridor. Here are your friends, Gregor. In Comrade Gregoria, I
(13:09):
suppose this man is a delegate.The fact is, Comrade, I have
been specially sent here to see thatyou show a due observance of Sunday.
Well, Comrade, I suppose we'dbetter give you a seat in a meeting.
Gregory, I could see, wasin an agony of diplomacy. Yes,
I think it is time we began. The tug is waking up the
river. I move that, Comrade, Buttons take the chair. He then
(13:31):
our came had a comrade. Bycomrades, we all lament to stand the
teeth of the heroic workers who occupiedthe post of Thursday in the Central Council
until last week he organized the greatdynamite coup of Brighton, which, under
(13:52):
happier circumstances, ought to have killedeverybody on the tier upon you. Tonight,
comrades evolved to choose out of thecompany present, the man who shall
be called Thursday. If any comradessub gents to name, I will put
into the boat. I will reComrade Gregory the game. Any one seconds
(14:16):
the most before I put the manunto the boat, I will call on
Comrade Gregory to make a statement.Gregory Rose, you must have figured out
that his best chances to make ussoftened an ambiguous speech such as would leave
in my mind the impression that thebrotherhood was a very mild affair. After
all, then it is seem deepunder the earth that we, the persecuted,
(14:41):
are permitted to as temble as theChristians, as tembled in the catacombs.
Suppose we seem as shocking as theChristians, because we are really as
harmless as the Christians. Suppose weseem as mad as the Christians, because
we are really as me, Iam not me. Comrade with a spoon
(15:01):
tells us that he is not me. Ah, how little he knows himself.
We are simple as they were simple. Look at comrade with a spoon.
We are modest as they were modest. Look at me. We are
mercif now nay, we are mercifulas the early Christians were merciful. Yet
(15:24):
this did not prevent at that beingaccused of eating flesh. Now we do
not eat human flesh. Shame.Why not Comrade with a spool is anxious
to know why nobody eats him inour society at any rate, which loves
him sincerely, which is hounded unlove, no, no down with lund
(15:45):
love, there would be no difficultyabout the aims which we shall pursue as
a body, or which I shouldpursue were I chosen as they representative of
that body. Does anyone oppose theelection of Comrade Gregory in real time?
Come name, comes time, thespecial Delegator. Am we coming with this?
(16:11):
Comrades? We line these walls withweapons and bar that door with death
lest anyone should come in here.Comrade Gregory is saying to us, be
good and you will be happy.Honesty is the best policy, and virtue
is its own reward. Comrade Gregoryhas told us we are not the enemies
of society. But I say thatwe are the enemies of society, and
(16:36):
so much the worst for society.Hypocritic Comrade Gregory accuses me of hypocrisy.
He knows as well as I dothat I am keeping all my engagements and
doing nothing but my duty. Ido not mince words, I do not
pretend to. We do not wantthe Supreme Council of Anarchy infected with a
Martlin Mercy Gregory his milk and watermethods on the Supreme Council. I would
(17:03):
offer myself for election an amendment thatComrade Time be appointed to the vote stop
or I tell you stop, andit is all impossible. I beg the
second election. Comrade, I kneelto you. Do not elect fist man.
The question is the comerad Time beelected to the vost of Thursday of
(17:25):
the General Council. And three minutesafterwards, mister Gabriel Time of the Secret
Police Service was elected to the postof Thursday on the General Council of the
Anarchists of Europe. A moment laterI found myself, somehow or other,
face to face with Gregory. Andyou are a gentleman, Comrade Thursday.
(17:48):
The vote is quite ready, ComradeGregory, You've kept your word. You're
a man of honor, and Ithank you. What do you mean?
What did I promise you a veryentertaining evening. My name is really Gabriel
(18:14):
Syme. I'm not merely a detectivewho pretends to be a poet. I
am really a poet who has becomea detective. I come of a family
of cranks. One of my unclesalways walked about without a hat, and
another had made an unsuccessful attempt towalk about with a hat and nothing else.
Being surrounded with every conceivable kind ofrevolt from infancy, I had to
(18:36):
revolt into something. So I revoltedinto the only thing left, which was
sanity. Now, some months beforethat evening in Saffron Park, I appeared
before a high official in Scotland Yard. I was led to a side door,
and almost before I knew what Iwas doing, I was suddenly shown
into a room, the abrupt blacknessof which startled me like a days of
(19:00):
light. Are you the new recruit? All right, you're engaged. I
really have no experience. No onehas any experience in the Battle of Armageddon.
But I really unfit. You're willing. That isn't up. Really,
I don't know any profession of whichmere willingness is the final test. I
do matters. I'm condemning you todeath. Good day where my adventure ultimately
(19:37):
led me, I've already told you. At about half past one on a
February night, I found myself steamingon a small tuck up for Silent Thames,
the duly elected Thursday of the CentralCouncil of Anarchists. As we came
alongside the great stones of the embankmentwere big and black against the huge white
dawn. I leapt out of theboat on the slimy steps a tug put
off again and turned upstream, andI saw that there was a man leaning
(20:03):
over the parapet and looking out acrossthe river. And then the man smiled,
and his smile was a shock,for it was all on one side,
going up the right cheek and downon the left, with a dark
dawn and the deadly errand and theloneliness and the great dripping stones. There
(20:26):
was something unnerving in it. Therewas the silent river and the silent man,
and there was the last nightmare touchthat his smile had suddenly went wrong.
We walk up dods Lester Square.We shall just be in time for
breakfast. Sunday always insists on anearly breakfast. But one corner of Leicester
(20:51):
Square that projected the balcony of aprosperous but quiet hotel. The balcony contained
a breakfast table, and round thebreakfast table, glowing in the sunlight,
were a group of noisy and talkativemen, all dressed in the insolence of
fashion. Here then with the secretconclave of the European Dynamiters. Then as
(21:18):
I continued to stare at them,I saw something that I had not seen
before, literally because it was toolarge to see at the nearest end of
the balcony, blocking up a greatpart of the perspective, with the back
of a great mountain of a man. I first thought that the weight of
him must break down the balcony ofstone. This man was planned enormously in
his original proportions, like a statue, carved deliberately as colossal. His head,
(21:44):
crowned with white hair, as seenfrom behind, looked bigger than a
head ought to be. The earsthat stood out from it looked larger than
human ears. His sense of sizewas so staggering that when I saw him,
all the other figure seemed quite suddenlyto dwin and become dwarfish. They
were still sitting there as before,with their flowers and frock coats, but
(22:06):
now it looked as if the bigman was entertaining five children to tea.
I never thought of asking whether themonstrous man who almost filled and broke the
balcony was the great President Sunday,whom the others had stood in awe.
I knew it was so. AsI walked across the inner room towards the
balcony, the large face of Sundaygrew larger and larger, and I was
(22:27):
gripped with a fear that when hewas quite close, the face would be
too big to be possible, andthat I would scream aloud. I remember
that as a child I would notlook at the mask of Memnon in the
British Museum, because it was aface and so large. By an effort
braver than that of leaping over acliff, I went to an empty seat
at the breakfast table and sat down. At that moment the President was addressing
(22:49):
of man's out of whose collar theresprang a bewildering bush of brown hair and
beard that almost obscured the eyes,like those of a sky terrier. The
man's name a team was Goggle.He was a poor and in the circle
of days he was called Tuesday afriend. Tuesday insists on the ways in
speech conspidertor no. If a gentlemangoes about London in the top every frock
(23:14):
go, no one need know thathe's an anarchist. But if a gentleman
on the top very the frock coatand then goes about from his end and
leaves, well, may right convenyou. I am that good that can
feeling. I am not ashamed ofthe cord. If you are, my
boyam so he is the goals ofyou. I am not good that deception,
right, my boy, right,you are good in anything. As
(23:37):
I looked at the others, Ibegan to see each of them exactly what
I had seen in the man bythe river. Each man was subtly and
differently wrong. Next to me,said Tuesday, the tazzle headed goggle.
Next was Wednesday, a certain Marquisde say Eustache. In the gloom and
thickness of his beard, a darkred mouth showed sensual and scornful. Whatever
(23:59):
he was, he was not aFrenchman. Then came me a next,
a very old man, professor theWorms, who was Friday. The red
flower in his button hole showed upagainst a face that was literally discolored like
lead. The whole hideous effect wasas if some drunken dandies had put their
clothes upon a corpse. And rightat the end sat the man called Saturday.
(24:23):
His name was doctor Ball. Therewas nothing whatever odd about him,
except that he wore a pair ofdark, almost opaque spectacles, and it
occurred to me that his eyes mightbe covered up because they were too frightful
to see. Such were the sixmen who had been sworn to destroy the
world. Only three days afterwards,it appeared the King of England was to
meet the President of the French republicanParis, and over their bacon and eggs
(24:48):
upon their sunny balcony, these beaminggentlemen had decided how both should die.
Even the instrument was chosen. Theblack bearded marquet appeared was to carry the
bomb. Most the talk has paidlittle attention to me, but the President
was always looking at his daly andwith a great and baffling interest. I
was sure that, in some silence, an extraordinary way, Sunday had found
(25:08):
out that I was a spy.In China, men were eating as they
talked. The Marquis took a greatbite of bread and jam. I have
often wondered whether it wouldn't be betterfor me to do it with a knife,
And it would be a new emotionto get a knife into a French
president and wriggle it around. Youare wrong. A knife was merely an
expression of the old personal power witha personal tyrant. Dynamite is not only
(25:30):
our best tool, but our bestsymbol. It expands, it also destroys
because it broadens and brain a man'sbrains a bomb mind brain to you like
a bomb night and day. Itmust expand. It must expand. A
man's brain must expand if it breaksthe universe. I don't want the universe
broken, officials yet, and Iwant to do a lot of decently things
(25:52):
before I die. I thought ofone yesterday in bed. The questioned em
if how Comad Wednesday is to strikethe blow as to the actual arrangement,
I suggest, but tomorrow he shouldgo first of all. Oh, we
discussed that I have something very particularto say. The instant of choice had
come. At last. The pistolwas at my head. No are speeches
more comfort of mind. Google.Sit down with the other Gudgement at this
(26:17):
table for the first time this morning. Something intelligence is going to be said.
I sat down first. No oneexcept he seemed of any notion of
the blow. That was about afour comrades. We have spun out this
past long enough. We were discussingplans and naming places. I proposed that
those friends and places should be leftholy in control of Comrade Saturday, Doctor
(26:37):
Bull. Not one word more aboutthe plans and places must be said at
this meeting. The Almal feverishly intheir seat, sickspt me. I sat
stiff in mine, with my handin my pocket and on the handle of
my loaded revolver. Gentlemen, thereis a spy at this table who waste
no more words. His name halfrose from my seat, my finger firm
on the dreame is, he said, Harry, I'm over there who pretends
(27:00):
to be a poet name no man. I gather that you fully understand your
position your bet. I see it'sa fair cup. All I say is
I don't believe any poor could havehe me think that my accent like I
did his. I can see thepoint. I can leave you an excent
to be in imidable you. Ifyou practice it in my bath, you
(27:22):
may leaving your beard with your cardnot a bit you they if you ever
tell the police or any human soulabout us who have exactly two and a
half minutes of discounts of your discount, I will not dwell. Good day.
I am instep. It's a detectivewho had masqueraded as Goggle. Rose
to his feet without a word andwalked out of the room with an air
(27:44):
of perfect natural lance. There wasa slight stumble outside the door, which
showed that the departing detective had notminded his step. I am is playing
was get on the bus. Ihave taken chair the humanitarian meeting. Would
not be better to discuss further thedetails of our project now than that the
(28:07):
spy has left us sacred rave Ifyou take our head home and boil it
for return, if it might beuseful, I can't say, mate,
I really fail to understand you.To understand? Are you dancing Dongay?
You didn't want to be an overheardby a spide to you? How you
know you aren't overheard? Now withthese words, Sunday showed it his way
(28:29):
out of the room, shaking withincomprehensible scorn. Now, if the last
words of the president meant anything,they meant that I had, after all
not passed unsuspected. The other fourgot to their feet, that took themselves
elsewhere to find lunch. Only theold anarchist, old professoritive worms remained behind,
(28:55):
seated before me at the table,mister of your sam Yes, Professor
two, policeman, Policeman boven madeyou think of a policeman in connection with
me the process or simple enough?I thought you look like a policeman.
(29:19):
I think so now, why mustI have be a policeman? Do let
me be a postman? Will giveme ask a plain question, your faltering
spy? Are you? Are younot a police detective? No, I
swear it. If you swear falsely, will you be damned? Will you
(29:40):
be sure that the devil dances atyour funeral? Will you see that the
nightmare sits on your grave? Youare an anarchist, You are a dynamiter.
Bof all, you are not inany sense a detective. You are
not in the British Police. I'mnot in the British Police. Professor to
(30:02):
worms fell back in his seat witha curious earth kindly collapse. Oh that's
a pity, because I am becauseyou were what I am a policeman,
a special policeman, and I serveunder the man in the dark room.
A man in the dark room.I understand. Of course you're not an
(30:30):
old man at all. I can'ttake my face off here. It's rather
an elaborate makeup. Did you knowthat that man Goga was one of us?
No? But didn't you? Iknew no more than the day then
there were three of us, there, three of us sitting here out of
seven, and it's a fighting number. If we'd only known that there were
three were three, If we hadbeen three hundred, we still could have
(30:52):
done nothing. Not if we werethree hundred against four, Not if we
were three hundred against Sunday Professor's areyou afraid of this man? Yes?
I am so, are you?Yes, you're right, I am afraid
of him. Therefore I swear byGod I will seek out this man whom
(31:14):
I fear, until I find himand strike him on the mouth. If
heaven were his thrown in the earth, his footstool, I swear that I
would pull him down. Now whybecause I'm afraid of him, and no
man should leave in the universe anythingof which he is afraid. You any
idea exactly what you're going to do. Yes, I'm going to prevent this
bomb being thrown in Paris any conceptionhouse. You remember, of course,
(31:37):
when we broke up rather hurriedly,the whole arrangements for the ad fast that
they were left in the private handsor the marquis in doctor Bull. The
Marquis is by this time probably crossingthe channel. The only man who knows
where he's going is doctor Bull.Confounded, and we don't know where Bull
is. Yes, I know wherehe is. Will you tell me?
I'll take you there. What doyou mean, would you join me?
(32:00):
Would you take a risk? Youngman? You think that it is possible
to pull down the President? Iknow that it is impossible, and I'm
going to try it all your specialattention to the new series of broadcasts by
(32:28):
the Mercury Theater with Orson Wells asstar and director, which will commence next
Sunday night at eight pm Eastern daylightSaving time. And now a brief pause
for station identification. This is theColumbia Broadcasting System. We continue now with
(32:49):
the performance of G. K.Chesterton's The Man Who Was Thursday by Orson
Wells and the Mercury Theater on theair. The Professor me to a very
(33:13):
respectable inn, and in that placewe dine very thoroughly. Can you play
the piano? Yes, I'm supposedto have a good touch. Would have
done just as well if you couldwork a typewriter. Thank you, you
flatter me. There is no manexcept the President who is so seriously startling
and formidable as doctor Bull. Alittle grinning fellow in goggles depend upon it.
(33:35):
Sunday was not asleep when he lockedup all the plans of this outrage
in the round black head of doctorBull. Do you think that this unique
monster will be soothed if I playthe piano to him? I mentioned the
piano because it gives one quick andindependent fingers. Simon, if we are
to go through this interview and comeout saying or alive, they must have
some code of signals between us thatthis brute will not see. I have
(33:57):
made a rough alphabetical site for correspondentthe five fingers like this B, A,
D bad, a word we mayfrequently require. I began to study
the scheme. Didn't take me longto learn how we might convey simple messages
(34:20):
by what would seem to be idletaps upon a table or knee. It's
not long before doctor Ball came in. Sat down at our table. He
smiled brightly, you're alle this evening, gentleman. A quiet, good humor
of his manner left us helpless.We sat staring at each other in silent
(34:44):
I am an intuition, and siton it. It is quite an extraordinary
intuition. Extraordinary. I am apoet. You're a kidman, scarcely realize
how poetic. My intuition is ithas that sudden quality we sometimes feel in
the coming of sprinkled and places.Doctor Ball to Ball, Doctor Ball,
would you do me a small favor? Would you be so kind as to
(35:07):
take off your spectacles? Doctor Bullrose slowly, still smiling, and took
off his spectacles. He was sittingin the chair before us, and we
saw there a very boyish looking youngman. The smile was still there,
but it might have been the firstsmile of a baby, Doctor Ball.
(35:30):
I am a police officer. Thedark room, the dark room. Well,
I'm awfully glad you came so early. If we can all start for
France together, yes, I'm inthe vos all right, What good heavens
If this were true, there weremore blasted detectives, and there were blasted
dynamiters at the blasted council, wemight easily have fought. We were four
(35:52):
against three. No, no,we were not four against three. We
were not so lucky. We arefour again. One an hour later,
we were already on the Calais boat. The fact it comes of it as
(36:15):
this. We three are alone onthis planet. Now we must do something
to keep the marquis in Calais tilltomorrow midday, while the king goes safely
through Paris. The only thing Ican see to do is actually to take
advantage of the very things that inthe Marquis's favor. Gentleman, I'm going
to profit by the fact that heis a nobleman and has many friends and
moves in the best society are youtalking about? The Marquis cannot deny that
(36:38):
he is a gentleman. In inorder to put the matter of my social
position quite beyond a doubt, Ipropose, at the earliest opportunity to knock
his hat off. But here weare in the harbor, gentleman, we've
reached Calais. A band was playingin a cafe Chanta, hidden somewhere among
(37:05):
the trees, where sat the Marquisis saying you stash. The man had
two companions, solemn frenchmen in silkhats. Alwas you sign? I think,
and you are the Marquis de signa stash. Permit me to pull
your nose, which I attempted todo, but for two men in top
hats held me back. This manhas insulted me. Cled you went,
(37:27):
oh, just now he is insultedmy mother mother. Well anyhow, my
aunt, But how can the Marquis. E haven't sold it? John an
Joe's now he has been sitting hereholding down. That was what he said,
nothing all except about the band.I only said that I like Wagner.
I played well. It was anallusion to my family. My aunt
played Wagner badly. It was apainful subject. We were always being insulted
about it. It seems most exploded. I assure you. The whole of
(37:47):
your conversation was simply packed with silisterallusions to my aunt's weakness. Oh this
is nonsense. I for one,I've said nothing for Havana except that I
like to see that girl with theblack hair. Oh there you are again.
My ants was read. It seemsto me that you're simply seeking a
pretext to insert the Marquis fight.George, What a clever chap you are
seeking. Acquired with me by abandava Manuel to seek long these gentlemen will
(38:10):
perhaps act for me. There arestill four hours of daylight. Let us
fight this evening. Marquis. Youraction is worthy of your fame and blood.
Permit me to consult with a gentlemanin whose hands I shall place myself.
Good day, I am what areyou up to? Alison careflay?
Poor professor, you are my seconds, and you must insist on the duo
(38:30):
coming off after seven tomorrow so asto keep him from catching the seven forty
five for Paris. If he missesthat, training misses the King of England,
you understand. So at seven twentywe met on a small meadow not
far from the railway. I'd madeup my mind that I could avoid disabling
(38:50):
the Marquis and prevent the Marquis fromdisabling me for at least twenty minutes.
In twenty minutes, the Paris trainwould have gone by, gentlemen, engage.
I'm not a bad fighter. Everynow and then I had almost fasted
it. I felt my fight gohome. But there was no blood on
the blade or am I shout?And now we could hear the Paris train.
(39:15):
There was no doubt about to hitthis time. I was as certain
that I had struck my blade intomy enemy as a garden never the suck
his spade into the ground. Yet, since there was no blood on it
at all, Monkey thought wildly.He constantly looked away at the railway line,
almost as if he feared a trainmore than the pointed steel. I
ain't less of the Marquis's body,and more it is throughton head. A
(39:37):
minute and a half alfterwards, Ifelt the point under the man's neck,
below the jaw. It came outclean. I thrust again, and may
who should have been a bloody scaron the Marquis's cheek? There was no
scar. I want to say something. It is rather important. It's a
sign. You expressed a wish topull my nose. Would you obliged by
(39:58):
pulling my nose now as quickly aspossible? I have to catch a train.
I protest that this is most irregularly, or will you not pull my
nose? Come? Come, mistersign, don't be selfish, pull my
nose at once. When I askedyou, I took two paces forward and
seize the Roman nose of this remarkablenobleman. I pulled it hard, and
(40:20):
it came off in my hand.If anyone has the use for my left
eyebrow, he cannot my left eyebrow. It is the kind of thing that
might come in useful any day.The Marquis was recklessly throwing parts of himself
right and left about the field.You are making a mistake, but it
can't be explained. Just now Itell you the train has come into the
station, yes, marquis, andthe train shall go out of the station.
(40:40):
It shall go out without you.Will you drive me mad? You
shall not go by the train,great quat laugh, said blair eyed,
blundering, pondering, brainless, doddering, glass of pool, you great sunny
pink face by the train. Ifyou shall not go by this train?
And why is ther bunal braisless?What I want to go by the train?
We know all you are going toParis to throw a barn to Cherich
or to throw at Chabawak. Ididn't care about catching the train. I
(41:04):
care about whether the train caught me, And now by God it has caught.
What do you mean? It meanseverything, the end of everything.
Sunday has us now in the hollowof his hands. What do you mean
by us the police? Of course, I am no marquy. I am
Inspector Rector of Scotland Yards. Inthe whole bally lot of us on the
Anarchist Concil were against anarchy. Everybonne man who was a detective, except
(41:28):
the President in his personal secretary.What can it mean means that we are
struck dead? Don't you know,Sunday, I tell you he's bought every
trust, He's captured every cable.He has control of every railway line,
especially of that railway line. Thewhole movement was controlled by him. Half
the world was ready to rise forhim. But there were just five people,
perhaps who could have resisted him,and the old devil put them on
(41:50):
the Supreme Council to waste that timein watching each other. Sunday knew that
the Professor would chase Sime through London, that Sime would fight me in France,
and he was combined great masses ofchapital, seizing great lines of telegraphy,
while we five idiots were running aftereach other like a lot of confounded
babies playing blind Man's box. Andsince you really want to know what was
(42:10):
my objection to the arrival of thattrain, I'll tell you. My objection
was that Sunday or his secretary hasjust this moment got out of him.
We all turned our eyes toward thestation. A considerable bulk of people seemed
to be moving in our direction,maybe ordinary tourists, ordinary tourists, where
black masks halfway down the face.It was quite true that the leader in
front wore a black half mask almostdown to his mouth, and the mouth
(42:34):
was smiling, a crooked smile onone side of the face. I believe
it. The thing is nonsense.The plain people of a peaceable French tower.
Several chis pray resuming or remarks buckable, you are talking. I think
about the plain people of a peaceableFrench tower. Here come the police.
They're joursing them on. No,no, they're forming along the parade.
I've unflung that car byres and aguide a fire on him. Lace have
(42:58):
joined the mob, but dancing steadily. It was almost on top of us.
Charge the anarchist There was no doubtof it. The leader was Monday,
Monday secretary of the council. Underthe black masket's mouth was working horribly
Monday, stop charge the anarchist swordswhere our time has come to die for
some mistakes the same I heartily thinkyou understand your position. I arrest you
(43:21):
in the name of the law.Law. But you are a secretary of
the Anarchist Council. Nonsense. Iam a detective from Scotland. Yard that
(43:45):
night, five bewildered but hilarious.Detectives returned to London, and next morning,
having found Goggle, we marched stolidlytoward the hotel in mister Square.
This is more a cheerful We area sex man going to ask one man
what do you mean. I thinkit's a bit queerer than that. I
think it's six men going to askone man what they mean. We saw
(44:13):
at once the little balcony in afigure that looked too big for it.
He was sitting alone with bent head, poring over a newspaper, but all
his counselors would come to vote himdown. Cross that square, as if
we were watched out of heaven bya hundred eyes. We went up the
dark stair in silence, so pleasedto see you all of an ex inde,
(44:39):
no, sir, there has beenno massacre. I bring you news
of no such disgusting spectacle. Disgustingspectacles you mean, doctor bull spectacle,
I specked old black, But I'mnot look at my face, I dar
see it's the sort of face thatgrows on one effected, grows on you,
I dares who grow on me?Some day? We have come here
(45:01):
to know what all this means.Who are you. What are you?
I want by If you want toknow what you are, You're a set
of highly well intentioned can get it. Thank you? What are you?
What am I? The President roseslowly to incredible heights like some enormous wave
(45:29):
about the arch above us, andbreak. You want to know what I
am? Do you wull? You'rea man of science, grabbing the roots
of these trees and find out thetruth about them. Same you're a poet.
Stare at those morning clouds and tellme the truth about mourning clouds.
(45:49):
Say tell you this that you wouldhave found out the truth of the last
tree in the topmost cloud before thetruth about me. You will understand a
sea, and I shall still bea riddle. You shall know what the
stars are and not know what Iam. Since the beginning of the world,
(46:10):
all men have hunted me like awoman, kings and sieges and poets
and lawgivers, all the churches andall the philosophies. But I have never
been bought yet. And the skieswill fall in the time I turned to
be. I have given them agood run for them, and he and
(46:30):
I will now before any of uscould move, the monstrous man had swung
himself over the balustrade of the balcony. Yet before he dropped, he pulled
himself up again and thrust his greatchin over the edge of the balcony as
wending. I'll tell you though aboutwho I am. I am the man
in the dark room who made youall policemen. Sunday fell from the balcony,
(47:01):
bouncing on the stones below like agreat ball of India rubber, and
went bounding off towards the corner ofthe Alhambra, where he hailed a handsome
cabin sprang inside of it. Ofcourse, we all followed him, and
at the highest ecstasy of speed,Sunday turned round, and, sticking his
great grinning head out of the cab, he made a horrible face at us,
flung a ball of paper me andvanished. I caught the paper time.
(47:21):
Let's see, no one would regretanything in the nature of an interference
by the Archdeacon more than I Itrust it will not come to that.
But for the last time, whereare your goloshes? The thing is too
bad, especially after what uncle said. Fire engine appeared at the President leaped
(47:49):
incredibly from his handsome caught the backof the engine and slung himself on to
it. Our captain whipped up theirhorses, and the President acknowledged this proximity
by coming to the back of thefire engine, bowing, repeatedly, kissing
his hand, and finally flinging outto us a neatly folded note. Please
plead its fly on your friends.What may Sitess Sunday had jumped from the
(48:21):
fire engine over and iron gate,and we'd follow him to kind of park?
Cannot be the old devil's hello,you pulled the zoo, come this
way, that's what? Come where? And then gone men and run away?
Why he run away? With thenote gentleman, the poor old gentleman
was white? There what sort ofold gentleman? And gentlemen? And like
bay Clow, the elephant had notrun away with him. He had run
(48:42):
away in the elephan And by thunder, there he is. There was no
doubt about it. This time cleanedacross the space of grass with a crowd
screaming and scampering, with a hugegray elephant on it bank President Sunday,
with all the facility of a suddengive beyond the gate. Stop. Believe
(49:07):
he's out of the gate. Throughstreet after street, through district after district
went the Prodigy of the Flying elephants, and we followed it through the city,
out into the suburbs, and finallyto the fairgrounds. The president had
disappeared. Look over there, lookat what? Look at the cat keep
(49:27):
balloon? Why do blazers should Ilook at the Captain balloon? What is
the queer bottle captain balloon? Thing? Except that it isn't Captain thousand Devils.
He's tangling. We'd followed that balloonall afternoon. We'd followed it,
(49:49):
and then about twilight the preposterous thinghad staggered in the sky and sunk from
view into the woods. So ifhe's cheetad us all by getting killed,
it would be like one of hislocks. And almost at the same moment,
all six of us realized that wewere not alone in the little field.
Across a square of turf, atall man was coming towards us,
leaning on a strange long staff likea scepter. His advance was very quiet.
(50:15):
He might have been one of theshadows of the wood. Gentle room,
my master has a carriage waiting foryou in the road just by.
Who is your master? I wastold you knew your name, whereas this
carriage has been waiting only a fewmoments. My master has only just come
(50:36):
home. All six of us comparednotes afterwards and quarreled, but we all
agreed that, in some unaccountable way, the place where we came that night
reminded us of our boyhood, witheither this elm top or that crooked path
(50:58):
that was either this scrap of orchardor the shape of a window. But
each man of us declared that hecould remember this place before he could remember
his mother. Refreshments are provided foryou in your room. I undered a
spended suite of apartments that seemed tobe designed specially for me. I have
put out your clothes clothes. Ihave no clothes except fees. My master
asks me to say that there isa fancy dress ball tonight. You ought
(51:22):
to be dressed as Thursday. Dressedas Thursday doesn't sound a very warm costume,
Yes, sir, Thursday costume isquite warm, sir. It fastens
up to the chin. I wasled onto a very large old English garden
(51:44):
full of torches and bonfires, bythe broken light of which a vast carnival
of people were dancing in motley dress. I seemed to see every shape in
nature imitated in some crazy costume.There was a man dressed as a wind
mule with a normous sails, aman dressed as an elephant, a man
dressed as a balloon. There wasa dancing lamp post, a dancing apple
(52:06):
tree, a dancing ship. Onewould have thought that the untamable tune of
some mad musician had set all thecommon objects of field and street dancing an
eternal jig. And long afterwards,when I was middle aged and at rest,
I could never see one of thoseparticular objects, a lamp post,
or an apple tree, or awindmill, without thinking that it was a
(52:29):
strayed reveler from that revel of amasquerade. On one side of this lawn,
in a kind of crescent, stoodseven great chairs, the thrones of
the seven days. And so thenight wore on, and finally the last
of the dances vanished, and thefire faded at the long, slow,
(52:51):
strong stars came out, and weseven strange men were left alone, like
seven stone statues on our chairs.Stone. Then Sunday spook. We will
eat and drink later. Let usremain together a little, we who have
loved each other so sadly the thoughtso long, I seem to remember only
(53:15):
centuries of heroic war, which youwere always heroes, epic Iliad on Iliad,
you always brothers in our Tell mewho are you? I am the
seven, I am the peace ofGod. I am grateful to you,
(53:36):
not only for wine and hospitality here, but for many a fine scamper and
free fight. But I should liketo know my soul and heart are as
happy and quiet here of this oldgarden. But my reason is still crying
(53:58):
out. I should like to knowit seemed so silly that you should have
been on both sides and thought yourselfand heard your complaints. Yeah, I
think it comes another also, Andwe saw standing before us, the red
headed poet of suffering Park Gregory.Why this is the real anarchist. Yes,
(54:24):
I am the real anarchists. Ifthere came a day when the sons
of God came before the Lord andSatan also came with them, all right,
I am a destroyer. I woulddestroy the world if I could.
Almost unhappy man, try to behappy. You have read here, Like
your sister. I know what youare, all of you, from first
to last, not the people inpower. You're the police but great bat
(54:45):
smiling men in blue and buttons,not the law, the seven nameels of
heaven. And you've had no troubles. Oh, I could forgive you everything,
if I could feel for once thatyou had suffered for one hour,
a real agony, such as Isee everything, everything, everything that there
(55:05):
is. Why does each thing onearth war against each other thing? Why
does a fly have to fight thewhole universe? Why does a dandelion have
to fight the whole universe? Forthe same reason that I had to be
alone in the dreadful counsel of thedays, so that each thing that obeys
law may have the glory and theisolation of the anarchist, so that by
(55:28):
tears and torture we may earn theright to say to this accuser, we
also have suffered. I repel aslander. We have not been happy.
I can answer for every one ofthe great gods of Law whom he is
accused. At least. And Isaw suddenly the great face of Sunday.
(55:58):
Have you ever suffered? As Igazed, the great face grew to an
awful size, larger than the colossalmask of Memnon, which had made me
scream as a child. It grewlarger and larger, filling the whole sky.
Then in the blackness before it entirelydestroyed my brain, I seemed to
(56:23):
hear a distant voice saying a commonplacetext that I had heard somewhere. Can
ye drink of the cup I drinkof? When men in books awake from
(56:44):
a vision, they commonly find themselvesin some place in which they might have
fallen asleep. I could only rememberthat. Gradually and naturally I knew that
I was awake and had been walkingalong a country lane. Dawn was breaking
over everything in colors at once clearand timid, as if nature made a
(57:07):
first attempt at yellow, and afirst attempt at rose. A breeze blew
so clean and sweet that one couldnot think it blew from the sky.
It blew rather through some hole inthe sky. I felt a simple surprise
when I saw, rising all roundme on both sides of the road,
(57:30):
the red, irregular buildings of SaffronPark. I walked by instinct along one
white road on which early birds hoppedand sang, and found myself outside a
fenced garden. And there I sawthe sister of Gregory Rosamond, the girl
with a gold red hair, cuttingLilac before breakfast with a great unconscious gravity
(57:58):
of a girl to night. TheColumbia Broadcasting System, through its member stations
(58:21):
coast to coast and the network ofthe Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, has brought your
production of G. K. Chesterton'sThe Man Who Was Thursday by Orson Wells
and the Mercury Theater on the air. The adaptation for radio is made by
mister Wells. This Monday Night concludesthe summer broadcast which have introduced the Mercury
Theater as the first complete theatrical producingcompany in radio. But the tremendous response
(58:45):
with their efforts of drawn from allparts of the country has insured their continuance
with us through the coming months.The Columbia Broadcasting System is therefore proud to
announce a new series of weekly productionsby Orson Wells and the Mercury Theater on
the air, beginning next Sunday eveningSeptember eleventh, from eight to nine o'clock
(59:05):
Eastern daylight saving time. The firstplay next Sunday at eight will be Vincent
van Gogh and original drama based onthe letters of the famous painter to his
brother, THEO and the records ofhis biographers in the cast this evening Sunday,
Eustace Wyatt, the Professor, RayCollins, Gregory, George Coloris,
the Marquis, Edgar Barrier, GogaalPaul Stewart Bull, Joseph Cotton, the
(59:30):
Secretary, Erskine Sandford Witherspoon, AlanDevitt, Rosamond, Anna Stafford, and
Gabriel Sime the Man who was Thursdayby Orson Wells Davidson Taylor supervised for the
Columbia Network. This is dan Seymourspeaking. The orchestra was directed by Alexander
Sembler. Remember next Sunday evening ateight o'clock Eastern daylight saving time, Orson
(01:00:22):
Wells and the Mercury Theater on theair in Vincent van Gogh. Be sure
(01:00:42):
to be at your radio next Mondayat nine pm Eastern daylight saving time.
That's when the Lux Radio Theater beginsits new series of broadcasts, same stations
as last year. The first presentationwill be Spawn of the North with George
Raft, Fred mc murray, JohnBarrymore, Dorotheelder Moo Laura And next Monday
at nine pm Eastern daylight saving time. This is the Columbia broadcasting system.
(01:01:25):
Welcome back. Well you can unravelthe meaning of that for yourself. The
Mercury Theater did a fantastic job.This is why it's always such a trait
to be able to bring you oneof their productions in Chesterton. Just the
way he said things, the dialogue, the descriptions, it is just such
(01:01:47):
beautifully unique language. It always makesanything by Chesterton great. Tell lesten to,
by the way, if you'd liketo hear a more expansive version of
this, The Baby Say produced athirteen part version of this, and it
was actually played on BABC Radio seven, they're online drama station, back in
(01:02:12):
July. All right, well that'lldo it from here. We'll be back
tomorrow with the Thin Man. Inthe meantime, send your comments to Box
thirteen at Great Detectives dot net,follow us over on Twitter at Radio Detectives,
and you can always give us acall to oh eight nine nine one
four seven eight three from Boise,Idaho. This is your host, Adam
(01:02:35):
graham Son and off
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