Episodes

February 23, 2021 67 min

It’s Episode Schfifty Five! And as always, this is going to be a very deep and serious show. No silliness to be had here. Move along, move along. 

LOL JK hosts Alyce and Laura share* their thoughts on the most recent Star Wars news, try to remember books they can’t remember and speculate about what Swol Obi-Wan is gonna be up to in the Kenobi show.

  • In the spring (aka 15 degree weather in Chicago), we drink rosé.
  • Schmoedown Spoiler War...
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    February 9, 2021 84 min

    Have you heard the good word? Our wee lil podcast is 2 years old! What? How? How did we get here? What even is this? Who are you? 

    In Episode 54, hosts Alyce and Laura have so much to celebrate* on this lovely Pod-iversary! Plus they’ve got really fun projects and guest appearances coming up that you won’t want to miss! 

  • We’re at 1,960 Twitter followers. If you’re not following us yet, please go follow @forcetoastpod and get us t...
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    January 26, 2021 93 min

    Think of this podcast like Cher and cockroaches: it’s going to live forever. And until forever arrives, we’ve whipped up whatever this nonsense is for your listening pleasure!

    In Episode 53, hosts Alyce and Laura are diving* into whatever Star Wars news they can scrounge up while relying on YOU to help us pass the time! Thank you to everyone who sent in prompts, questions and trivia during these slow news weeks! 

  • Katee Sackoff reveal...
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    January 12, 2021 75 min

    The year: 2021

    The place: Trivs City

    Population: Us

    In Episode 52, there’s not a lot of news and hosts Alyce and Laura fail at Dry January and acupuncture, respectively. But all is not lost! Viral TikTok and The High Republic are here just in time to save us from the wrath of 2021. 

  • We watched The High Republic launch livestream event on January 4, 2021! Let’s discuss. 
  • Chris Pine got some details about the upcoming Rogue Squadron film....
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    December 29, 2020 95 min

    If we learned anything from 2020, it’s that 1) meat thermometers break easily and 2) you shouldn’t stick it in too deep. 

    In Episode 51, hosts Alyce and Laura are roasting* a turducken stuffed with Star Wars news, recaps, trivia and general nonsense.

  • The High Republic is giving us a thing we never knew we needed: Groot but make it Star Wars
  • We discuss the new excerpt from Claudia Gray’s upcoming novel Star Wars The High Republic: Into...
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    December 15, 2020 123 min

    We’re not saying you HAVE to familiarize yourself with Molly Shannon’s Sally O’Malley character from Saturday Night live for this episode but…. it wouldn’t hurt.

    In Episode 50, hosts Alyce and Laura are catching up* on Chapters 14 and 15 of The Mandalorian and all the news that came out of the Disney Investor Day on December 10, 2020. 

  • Patty Jenkins is going Rogue in Christmas 2023 and WE ARE READY
  • Taika Waititi really said “Star Wars...
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    December 1, 2020 110 min

    Hello there! Hello there! Hello there! 49 and feelin’ fine!

    In Episode 49, hosts Alyce and Laura catch* up on their Thanksgivings (TV binging and champagne drunk, respectively), then it’s on to the most recent Star Wars news and recaps!

  • A tale of a man annoyed at his girlfriend because she won’t stop talking like a Gungan. We have no advice to offer him. We just want to talk to her. Please contact us.
  • Obi-wan is looking to cast women ...
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    November 17, 2020 88 min

    Force Toast’s Episode 48 is brought to you by pimple cream and Fisher Price. 

    I mean, not really. But it would be pretty cool, wouldn’t it, Fisher Price? 

    In Episode 48, hosts Alyce and Laura are ringing* in Life Day the only way they know how: with a giant can of Coors Light and a fancy Christmas cocktail. Guess who had which ;-)

  • Sure sex is great, but have you ever worn a beer helmet to a nice restaurant during a pandemic so you can...
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    November 3, 2020 76 min

    It’s Episode 47 and hosts Spooky Alyce and Laura spend their Halloween drinking and talking* about Star Wars - so it’s pretty much the same as any year!

  • Albus Dumbledore and the Giant Sh*ts 
  • Do cocktail bitters expire?
  • A big ol’ Caravan of Corrections segment for everyone who, unfortunately, trusts us to get stuff right (you shouldn’t)
  • We have to have A TALK about The Mandalorian Black Series figure
  • Alyce has an update on the Kenobi ser...
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    October 20, 2020 96 min

    What do Kiera Knightley, puberty, 9/11 and There’s Something About Mary all have in common?

    There’s only one way to find out! (It’s easy, just listen to this episode)

    In episode 46, hosts Alyce and Laura have a big one for you, nerds. It’s time we have a talk about foot peeling and cat buttholes. 

    Wait, no, come back! We’re just kidding. Kind of.

    What we actually talk about:

  • By the time you listen to this, you’ll know what Star Wars mea...
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    October 6, 2020 104 min

    This episode has EVERYTHING! Borat impressions! Ebola! Pizza parties! And as always, a little Star Wars talk for your listening pleasure. 

    In Episode 45, hosts Alyce and Laura are recording* a little early (like, 2 days early) because Alyce is SO DEMANDING and doesn’t want to spend her BIRTHDAY editing this dumb show lol. Honestly, can you blame her? Oh yeah, and we’re still not done with Thrawn. 

    [Borat voice] VERY NICE! 

  • We’re just ...
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    September 22, 2020 98 min

    Hello and welcome to Do[n]g Show! This is a show for people who watched Saturday Night Live in the 90s. And also Star Wars.

    In Episode 44, hosts Alyce and Laura are up* to their usual shenanigans! Laura makes a What If argument tying Rey’s origins to Mandalore and Alyce takes us on a throwback journey to the days of dirty HBO content. AND THEY LIKE UH DOGS! *insert 1998 Molly Shannon enthusiasm here*

  • Hollywood’s biggest dongs (allege...
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    September 8, 2020 79 min

    What do you get when you combine sugar, spice, and everything nice in Star Wars? Pickled Jedi! This is canon, by the way. Jedi in a jar. A forkful of Force, if you will. 

    In Episode 43, hosts Alyce & Laura report and react* to the latest in Star Wars news and rumors and, per usual, get distracted in the best of ways. Laura’s brain is deteriorating and Alyce gives an update on the funemployment life. The moral of the story: it’s ...

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    August 25, 2020 94 min

    Oh, did you all come here looking for Star Wars? This is an Addams Family Values podcast now. 

    In Episode 42, hosts Alyce and Laura relive* the 90s, discuss what’s new in Star Wars news and rumors and try their hand at some sequel trilogy trivia. 

    Anyway stan Joan Cusack. 

  • Let’s talk about how we talked about Aphra
  • The people want more Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and allegedly it’s in the works!
  • USA Today exclusive on one of the biggest surprise ...
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    August 11, 2020 71 min

    What do Xena: Warrior Princess and The Rise of Skywalker have in common? Find out in this episode of Force Toast: A Star Wars Happy Hour! 

    In Episode 41, hosts Alyce and Laura just aren’t into Aphra, but they are into dusty, old Star Wars scripts and man smells?

  • Film props and memorabilia for your perusal, just in case you have a spare $50,000 laying around. Pro Tip: Star Wars stuff starts on page 177.
  • Take a whiff of the Kylo Ren can...
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    July 28, 2020 61 min

    First off, on a scale from 1 to 10, how perfect are you at grilling shrimp? 

    The answer: nowhere near as perfect as Ewan McGregor in the newest chapter of Alyce’s Obi-Wan Erotica. 

    But we digress.

    In episode 40, hosts Alyce & Laura kick* their innocent, little podcast out of the house in hopes that it will learn to support itself! It’s a lesson in tough love, friends. But in the meantime, let’s dive into what’s new in a galaxy far...

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    July 14, 2020 78 min

    Cheese dip, f*ck yeah.  By the way, we curse* in this podcast. This is your first and last warning, new listeners. Oh, and also, welcome!

    In Episode 39, hosts Alyce & Laura are here to sh*t all over the latest and greatest in stupid Star Wars rumors, name the newest cereals and get you up to speed on the news! 

  • We have made our demands clear: Let Rats Mate
  • The sequel trilogy ain’t going anywhere. Sorry, haters. 
  • Mandalorian books! ...
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    June 30, 2020 72 min

    When 2020 began, did you ever consider that it would give you a Star Wars podcast that covers topics Hutts in hats, whether or not Galen Erso is a boob man, Beavis & Butthead impressions and birth control in Star Wars? 

    The answer is no. No one could have predicted that. But here we are. 

    Hosts Alyce & Laura bring* you all of this and more in Episode 38 of Force Toast! 

  • What’s new in Quarantine Qorner
  • The Movie Trivia Schmoedow...
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    June 16, 2020 70 min

    Cheers beers! It’s finally summer! And we’re toasting to our amazing community because there’s nothing sweeter than knowing our listeners AREN’T a bunch of racist bigots. 

    We just love you, okay? Thanks for being you. 

    Anyway, there’s not a lot of news, but hosts Alyce and Laura make* it work, bitch. Sorry, you’re not a bitch. That was mean. 

  • You now know more about Star Wars: Squadrons than we did when we recorded this but we still h...
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    June 4, 2020 74 min

    As we go on...

    We remember...

    All the times our moms made us cry at graduation DAMMIT MOM

    It’s graduation season (see what we did up there?) and hosts Alyce and Laura are graduating* from… well, nothing. So why not crack open a Coors Light, do a half victory lap and have an indoor carnival or something? 

  • Some Schmodown talk
  • Vocabulary lessons
  • The search is on for a live action Ezra Bridger! (allegedly)
  • Excerpts from Queen’s Peril and Poe ...
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