What do Kiera Knightley, puberty, 9/11 and There’s Something About Mary all have in common?
There’s only one way to find out! (It’s easy, just listen to this episode)
In episode 46, hosts Alyce and Laura have a big one for you, nerds. It’s time we have a talk about foot peeling and cat buttholes.
Wait, no, come back! We’re just kidding. Kind of.
What we actually talk about:
This episode has EVERYTHING! Borat impressions! Ebola! Pizza parties! And as always, a little Star Wars talk for your listening pleasure.
In Episode 45, hosts Alyce and Laura are recording* a little early (like, 2 days early) because Alyce is SO DEMANDING and doesn’t want to spend her BIRTHDAY editing this dumb show lol. Honestly, can you blame her? Oh yeah, and we’re still not done with Thrawn.
[Borat voice] VERY NICE!
Hello and welcome to Do[n]g Show! This is a show for people who watched Saturday Night Live in the 90s. And also Star Wars.
In Episode 44, hosts Alyce and Laura are up* to their usual shenanigans! Laura makes a What If argument tying Rey’s origins to Mandalore and Alyce takes us on a throwback journey to the days of dirty HBO content. AND THEY LIKE UH DOGS! *insert 1998 Molly Shannon enthusiasm here*
What do you get when you combine sugar, spice, and everything nice in Star Wars? Pickled Jedi! This is canon, by the way. Jedi in a jar. A forkful of Force, if you will.
In Episode 43, hosts Alyce & Laura report and react* to the latest in Star Wars news and rumors and, per usual, get distracted in the best of ways. Laura’s brain is deteriorating and Alyce gives an update on the funemployment life. The moral of the story: it’s ...
Oh, did you all come here looking for Star Wars? This is an Addams Family Values podcast now.
In Episode 42, hosts Alyce and Laura relive* the 90s, discuss what’s new in Star Wars news and rumors and try their hand at some sequel trilogy trivia.
Anyway stan Joan Cusack.
What do Xena: Warrior Princess and The Rise of Skywalker have in common? Find out in this episode of Force Toast: A Star Wars Happy Hour!
In Episode 41, hosts Alyce and Laura just aren’t into Aphra, but they are into dusty, old Star Wars scripts and man smells?
First off, on a scale from 1 to 10, how perfect are you at grilling shrimp?
The answer: nowhere near as perfect as Ewan McGregor in the newest chapter of Alyce’s Obi-Wan Erotica.
But we digress.
In episode 40, hosts Alyce & Laura kick* their innocent, little podcast out of the house in hopes that it will learn to support itself! It’s a lesson in tough love, friends. But in the meantime, let’s dive into what’s new in a galaxy far...
Cheese dip, f*ck yeah. By the way, we curse* in this podcast. This is your first and last warning, new listeners. Oh, and also, welcome!
In Episode 39, hosts Alyce & Laura are here to sh*t all over the latest and greatest in stupid Star Wars rumors, name the newest cereals and get you up to speed on the news!
When 2020 began, did you ever consider that it would give you a Star Wars podcast that covers topics Hutts in hats, whether or not Galen Erso is a boob man, Beavis & Butthead impressions and birth control in Star Wars?
The answer is no. No one could have predicted that. But here we are.
Hosts Alyce & Laura bring* you all of this and more in Episode 38 of Force Toast!
Cheers beers! It’s finally summer! And we’re toasting to our amazing community because there’s nothing sweeter than knowing our listeners AREN’T a bunch of racist bigots.
We just love you, okay? Thanks for being you.
Anyway, there’s not a lot of news, but hosts Alyce and Laura make* it work, bitch. Sorry, you’re not a bitch. That was mean.
As we go on...
All the times our moms made us cry at graduation DAMMIT MOM
It’s graduation season (see what we did up there?) and hosts Alyce and Laura are graduating* from… well, nothing. So why not crack open a Coors Light, do a half victory lap and have an indoor carnival or something?
May the Fourth Be With You Two Weeks Ago, Basically! This is Episode 35 of Force Toast and hosts Alyce & Laura are going to take* you on a wild, roundabout ride to get you caught up on all the cool things we’ve learned since Star Wars Day!
The little sprinkle of lady power you didn’t know you needed this week!
Or did you know you needed it? Did you actually go into this week hoping to get some sloppy, green girl power (why is it green?) dumped all over your face? Because it’s happening.
Too much? May we offer you a dab of Essence of Hand instead?
Either way, hosts Alyce and Laura are here* to deliver your bi-weekly dose of Star Wars and snark, garnished with a little...
James/Scott Marsden remains at large but, rest assured, hosts Alyce and Laura are on the case*!
In Episode 33, the COVID-19 quarantine continues. Alyce has given up on needlepoint. Laura is running around her apartment, burping loudly. So really, nothing has changed.
Are those bushes growing on your face or are you just not getting your eyebrows waxed during quarantine? If so, same. Thankfully for you all, hosts Alyce and Laura have no plans to transition this show to a video podcast.
In Episode 32, your hosts are lingering* somewhere between boredom and madness. Origami cranes. Balloon animals. Needlepoint? TikTok?! Fortunately there’s some Star Wars stuff to keep them sane…
But who knows for h...
If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you’re happy and you know it, WASH YOUR F***ING HANDS, YA NASTIES
Does anyone else feel like you’ve lived through an apocalypse since we last recorded? No? Just us?
Somehow hosts Alyce and Laura have managed* to survive this long, so grab a beverage and let’s all toast to our impending doom! There’s not a ton of news to cover, so in episode 31, we dive into the impor...
Saddle up, pilgrim! Hosts Alyce and Laura react* to all the Star Wars nonsense in the news! There’s book stuff, bra stuff, rumors stuff, TROS stuff and, of course, The Clone Wars stuff for your listening pleasure.
Remember in The Empire Strikes Back when Han and Leia were bickering on the Falcon and he was like, “I GOT IT, LADY!”
Yes? Same. Yes, we also remember that. Because trivia.
In episode 29, hosts Alyce and Laura miss* Project Luminous by a hair and have to talk about… Star Wars? A true departure. So brave. One must always be blazing trails.
Fun fact: Beavis & Butthead comes up a lot in this episode. Who knew that Alyce’s obscure h...
TRAINING MONTAGES! MAUL’S METAL BIRD LEGS! GREEN GOO! SAW GOES ROGUE! FLORUM! JULIA! HONDO!
Hosts Alyce and Laura wrap up* Force Toast’s bonus series of Recap on Tap with Seasons 5 and 6 of Star Wars: The Clone Wars so they can go back to doing literally anything else besides watching The Clone Wars… that is, until Friday when they will, inevitably watch MORE Clone Wars OH MY GOD.
THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
This is our life now.
Fun fact: if ...
It’s your birthday!
We gonna party like it’s your birthday!
We’re gonna sip soy sauce beer like it’s your birthday!
It’s a TOAST to Force Toast! Hosts Alyce and Laura are celebrating* the 1-year Anniversary of Force Toast’s launch in true Toasted style: by listening/reading your messages while drinking an absolutely disgusting beer that they won at Star Wars trivia.
Among all of the happy wishes sprinkled throughout, we dive ...