So many folks I see, and this was me too, attach goodness and morality to their health. If something is wrong, they feel wrong. They will spin into stories about how they're creating their own disease or this is going to turn into something far worse. Can you make some space for the fact that not all of the contributing factors were in your hands? Your genetics, adverse childhood experiences, your environment and day to day stressors that accumulate.
There are areas where we have choice and can learn to be empowered...and there are factors we don't have control over. There are elements, like childhood trauma, that weren't our fault but that as adults we have quite a large degree of choice in how we address the effects. Having a sense of humor, when possible, can bring some lightness to what can be a serious and heavy healing process. Life is very short. Literally no amount of it needs to be spent beating yourself up anymore. That time would be better spent taking care of that part of you that so automatically goes into shame. Then, just coming back to what you best know works for you. again and again and again.
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