February 3, 2025 • 27 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
The year was 1986.
I was a junior in high schooland my family we had the honor,
my dad and my grandfatherpurchased 80 acres of land in
northern Michigan way before Iwas born.
But we got a chance to go upthere and we called it Up North.
I grew up in Grand Rapids andso it was about an hour and a
half or two hours from our houseand we would hunt for deer, we
(00:30):
would fish, we would drivemotorcycles and dirt bikes and
all kind of crazy stuff.
And on this one occasion in1986, my family it was just my
mom and my dad and me and thenone of the other, my cousins,
their family was up there and itwas my dad.
Had, counting my dad, therewere 10 siblings, and so
everybody got a parcel of landas a part of the legacy and
(00:53):
heritage of my grandfatherpassing, and so we were up there
together, the two families andthe cousins and I were having so
much fun.
I mean, listen, I'm sorry,chicago, we were out shooting
guns and we were out, you know,taking down chipmunks and
squirrels, and I'm sorry, I justgot to be honest, like it's
(01:14):
what you do when you're out inthe woods, you know it's like
there's only a few things youcan do, and that was one of them
, and we rode our dirt bikes andstarted fires in the woods and
then put them out.
Of course we put them out andso.
But we had so much fun and wewere eating dinner, just my
family, and they were in theircabin.
But we were in our little cabineating dinner and then I was
(01:37):
finished before my parents weredone and I was like I'm just
going to go check and see.
And so I was running towardstheir side of the property and I
noticed their truck was leaving.
They were on their way out,loaded up and had a lot of wood
to burn back at the house, andso they were truck full of stuff
.
They were leaving and I turnedaround and ran back to my cabin
(01:59):
and walked in there and theywere like what's up?
I was like, well, they justleft there.
And they were like what's up?
I was like, well, they justleft and I have a declaration,
I'm ready to leave now.
And so they were like okay.
So it took them about 30minutes to clean everything up
and get ready and they're likelet's go.
And so we got in the car andstarted driving south towards
Grand Rapids and it's just a twolane highway, nothing fancy,
(02:19):
all through the little towns ofNorthern Michigan.
And as we were driving we cameup over a hill and the highway
was just illuminated by all kindof emergency vehicles and
ambulance and police officersand it was just lit.
It lit up the sky.
And as we pulled through theaccident scene I'll never forget
(02:41):
it is as clear as today, ascould be.
And I remember looking to myright out of our window of our
vehicle and my uncle's truck wasupside down, the cab of the
truck completely flat, there wasdebris everywhere and I just
remember a panic and fear and mydad said I'm going to.
(03:04):
He pulled over to the side road.
He said let me go check.
And not before my mom realizedI was opening the door and
following after my dad and ToGod be the glory they were, they
were not injured severely,there was no.
It could have been so muchworse.
But the fallout of that was thenext few weeks.
I had such weird emotions and Istruggled for the next weeks
(03:31):
into a couple of months of justsevere anxiety and fear and when
I would close my eyes at nightI would see the image of that
vehicle turned upside down andeven though I knew they were
okay, there was just.
It was like there was agripping fear, that of what
could have been, and I can'texplain it.
I couldn't get around it.
I didn't want to sleep at night.
(03:51):
I didn't try out for basketballthat season, I just had.
I could not get my brain tofocus.
It was just this weight on meand I'll never forget.
One afternoon I was just kind ofcomplaining to my mom about it
and she said you know what,maybe just forgive the driver of
that vehicle that hit youruncle and aunt and your cousins,
(04:12):
and just forgive them and justsee what happens.
And so I'll never forget.
I sat down and I prayed aprayer and I just released that
situation.
I released that guy and hisresponsibility.
I just was like God, I justforgive that person.
I don't think he really meantto do it, but it was.
I forgive him and whatever itwas.
But I'll never forget thatnight I slept all the way
(04:33):
through and the next day I feltso much better and day after day
it was just like I completelybounced back from that just
terrible anxiety and I neverhave dealt with that anxiety
again in my life, and it's theyear that I learned that a
spirit of forgiveness willremove the weight of bitterness
and offense in your life so youcan move forward.
(04:55):
So why don't you just turn toyour neighbor and just say, hey,
I'm ready, and tell the otherone you've been ignoring all
service.
Just bump them and say I have adeclaration.
We're in week three of ourseries, I Declare.
(05:15):
It is a powerful series ofmoving us from want and wish,
and even hope, into action.
And hey, I've got good news foryou you are on your third
Sunday of the best year of yourlife.
Come on, it's your third Sunday, third Sunday of the best year
of your life.
So far, we've had thesedeclarations this year.
(05:38):
With God's help and the powerof the Holy Spirit, I declare I
will be a person of consistency.
And then last week week we madea declaration that I will be.
I will take responsibility formy life and no longer will I
blame others.
I won't play the blame game,but I will release that.
(05:59):
I will take responsibility forwhere I am at life, because the
buck stops with me.
And, man, I just got to give ashout out to those of you.
It was a powerful Sunday.
If you missed it, I would goback and listen or watch it on
YouTube or Facebook or thepodcast.
Anywhere you can find a podcast, you can say hey, alexa, play
Free Church Oak Park podcast andit will come right up and I
(06:22):
would encourage you to listen tothat.
There were so many peopleresponding by email, taking next
steps of responsibility andseeking help to move forward.
And if you haven't done thatyet, it's not over.
There's still time for you tokeep taking responsibility for
where you are at in life.
Not that there was no otherpeople involved in it, but you
take your responsibility andmove forward.
(06:44):
And today is kind of an add-onto that and this is the
declaration.
I'll give it to you and then atthe end we'll share it.
We'll all declare it together.
Are you ready?
So here we go this year, withGod's help and the power of the
Holy Spirit, I declare I willgreet each day with the spirit
(07:05):
of forgiveness.
Should be up on the screenthere.
There we go.
I will greet each day with aforgiving spirit, recognizing
the poison caused by bitterness.
I will choose to move forward,move toward forgiving others the
way Jesus has forgiven me.
Forgiveness.
Everybody say forgiveness,forgiveness.
(07:27):
I'm gonna give you three truthsabout a spirit of forgiveness
and as we move forward, I thinkthis is gonna help you
tremendously.
And when you talk about havingthe best year of your life,
there are things you need tochange in your life and mainly,
you need to let go of what'sbehind you so you can push
(07:52):
forward into what God has foryou.
Paul said this forgettingwhat's behind me, I press on
towards the mark of the prize ofthe high calling of Jesus
Christ, and that mark and thatprize is your best year yet.
So let's go, you ready.
Three truths of how to grow aforgiving spirit.
(08:15):
Number one a forgiving spirit iscommanded in God's word.
It's not a okay, if you want to.
It's not a when it's easy, it'snot, uh, only on friday or only
on sunday morning.
(08:36):
It is an everyday commandmentthat we should walk with a
forgiving spirit.
It's commanded in god's wordand i'll'll give you scripture
for this.
This is Colossians 3 and 13.
Bear with one another and ifanyone has a complaint against
one another because Paul knew wewould have complaints Smack
(08:56):
your gum too loud.
I'm not picking anybody outhere.
I'm just saying there are somethings I have complaints about
others about, but listen ifanyone has a complaint, that
didn't go over well.
So if anyone has a complaintagainst another, forgive each
other.
Just as the Lord has forgivenyou, you also must forgive
Ephesians 4.12 says this and bekind to one another,
(09:19):
tenderhearted, forgiving oneanother, as God in Christ has
forgiven.
You See those commands in there.
Those are commands, that'sGod's word, commanding us to
have a forgiving spirit.
This is what Jesus said inMatthew 4.
It says if you forgive thosewho sin against you, your
heavenly Father will forgive you, but if you refuse to forgive
others, your Father will notforgive you.
(09:42):
There's no conditions to thisverse.
There's no disclaimer orasterisk on this verse.
It is a command that when weforgive, our Father forgives us.
And really, if you want to beforgiven, you have to learn how
to forgive.
It's not like we can say thisis what the scripture doesn't
say.
The scripture doesn't sayforgive unless it's been more
(10:04):
than 10 years, or forgive unlessthey never asked for
forgiveness, or forgive unlessit's adultery or abuse.
No, the scripture says we're toforgive and then we'll be
forgiven.
So that is the first way togrow a forgiving spirit is to
(10:25):
understand that.
It's commanded in Scripture forus.
The second part is this Aforgiving spirit is a strong
witness to an unbelieving world.
It goes against culture.
It goes against culture.
1 John 1.9 says if we confessour sins, he is faithful and
just to forgive us of our sins.
(10:46):
We have in First John 2.2,.
He is the atoning sacrifice forour sins, and not only ours but
also the sins of the world.
So Jesus has forgiven us andwhen we forgive, it helps us to
be more like Jesus.
It helps us to be more likeJesus.
It helps us to be more likeJesus.
(11:07):
You see, forgiveness is acallback to the cross.
Remember as Jesus is hanging onthe cross.
He looks to his right, to hisleft, he looks in front of all
the people there and he saysFather, forgive them, for they
do not know what they are doing.
It means we even need toforgive when it's
unintentionally harming us, whenothers are unintentionally
(11:32):
causing harm in our lives.
We learn how to forgive.
When you forgive, you'rereleasing the right to revenge
or retaliation, and that's whatmakes you most like Jesus, and I
read this the other dayForgiveness is a funny thing.
It warms the heart and it coolsthe sting, and I think that's so
(11:55):
true.
Forgiveness also has physicaland mental effects on our life.
When we forgive and we don'tcarry that weight of bitterness
and offense, we actually we livea healthier life.
We can trace sickness to stressand sickness to bitterness, and
(12:17):
so when you forgive, youactually live a healthier
lifestyle.
Holding on to bitterness is atrap that actually can destroy
you.
Look at Hebrews 12 and 15.
It says look after each otherso that none of you fails to
receive the grace of God.
Watch out that no poisonousroot of bitterness grows up to
(12:38):
trouble you, corrupting many.
And I was thinking about thisthat remember in school when in
school, your teacher had tobring a milk carton and I know
that you usually used a smallerone, but I used bigger ones so
we could see it better.
But they would have you bring amilk carton and then you would
put the, the soil in and youwould put a seed or two.
(13:02):
Or, if you were like me, I putas many as I could in there
because I wanted the plant to beas big as possible, and and
then the teacher would say okay,there's a few things that you
have to do if you want this to.
I put as many as I could inthere because I wanted the plant
to be as big as possible.
And then the teacher would say,okay, there's a few things that
you have to do.
If you want this to grow, youhave to water it.
And so you would water that.
And then you know, you wouldprep it all week long and then
Friday most of us were soexcited to get out of the room
(13:23):
we wouldn't water it and we'drun out.
But you know, the A studentsnot me, the C students we were
out on the, we were already outon Friday, it's like the weekend
.
But the A students, they wouldprep and water and then you come
back and then the plant wouldbe like this because they
(13:46):
watered it and then they wouldcontinue to water it.
What I hated most about thisproject was mine mostly
resembled this.
Rarely ever resembled this.
And then the teacher's petwould walk in and it would
resemble that.
I forgive you, susie, in thirdgrade for being a teacher's pet,
(14:11):
but our teacher would saysomething when we were leaving.
She would actually say this Ifyou don't water it, it won't
grow.
And that's the same withbitterness If you don't water
that, it's gonna grow if youcontinue to water it.
And look at this.
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I thought this was prettypowerful.
That where am I out of my nosehere?
Because it's powerful.
The root of bitterness growswhen it is watered by the
moisture of our memory andfertilized by the failure to
(14:54):
forgive.
So if you, if you don't wantbitterness to grow in you, don't
water it.
I read this today, like don'tlet today's pain rob you of
tomorrow's hope.
So I read this evil for evil isman's way.
(15:16):
Evil for good is the devil'sway.
Good for evil is God's way andGod's way should be our way.
Like even though we I meaneverybody would justify if
somebody does wrong, it'sjustifiable, go ahead and take
them out.
But that's what the devil wantsto do.
(15:36):
The devil wants to tempt you tolive in this lifestyle of just
wait.
Or here comes my revenge, herecomes my moment for payback.
And I'm just telling you.
The word of God tells us don'twater that bitterness, don't
water that bitterness, don'twater that bitterness.
I love this quote by Lee Strobel.
He says those who move towardbitterness rather than
forgiveness can become a hostageto their own hatred.
(15:59):
So my question is do you havethe grudge or does the grudge
have you?
We need to learn how to forgiveand people handle bitterness in
different ways.
I read this about this olderlady, single lady, senior lady,
who was pre-planning her funeraland she went to the funeral
(16:22):
home and bought the lot and wastalking to the funeral director
and he was going through theorder of the service with her
and then he said okay, well, youneed pallbearers, that's the
people that carry the casket toand from the hearse.
And he said so, who would youlike that to be?
And she named six of her femalefriends and the funeral
(16:45):
director sat back and he thoughtfor a minute and he said now I
just wanna make sure you don'twant any men to help carry the
casket.
It's gonna be pretty heavy.
And she says no way, those guyswouldn't take me out when I'm
alive and they're certainly notgonna take me out when I'm dead.
You're gonna carry thatbitterness all the way to the
(17:11):
grave.
You know, if you don't, if youdon't feed it and if you don't
water it, the bitterness willnot grow in your life.
A snake slithered into a barnand slithered over a saw and as
(17:32):
it went over the saw, the teethof the saw cut the snake and
shocked it and then, just in itsown natural instinct.
It turned around and coiledaround.
That saw in anger and then ithurt more and so it coiled even
stronger, even tighter, and thenit hurt more and it coiled even
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tighter until finally the snakebled out, not realizing the
snake could have saved his lifehad he let go of the initial
pain.
And that, friends, is how manyof us live.
It's not the last pain thattakes us out.
It's the first smaller pain andwe keep coiling and attacking
(18:16):
and feeding and watering it.
And I'm telling you we have tostop watering it.
And last one, as I close,number three, number three is
this A forgiving spirit growsfrom experiencing it firsthand.
(18:40):
Scripture says Matthew 18 and21,.
Then Peter came to him.
This is Jesus.
He came to Jesus and asked Lord, how often should we forgive
someone who sins?
How often should I forgivesomeone who sins against me?
Seven times, boy Peter, you are.
Let's give it up for Peter.
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He is so seven times, let's go.
Everybody is like, oh, seven.
I know those guys around himare like teacher's pet, like God
.
No, peter does it again.
But Jesus says no, not seventimes, but 70 times seven.
(19:25):
And the reality of that wasPeter.
If you're counting, it's notworking.
If you're counting, yourheart's not in it.
If you're counting, you're justgoing through the motion to get
it over with.
And Jesus continues, and hetells this story in verse 23.
He says therefore, the kingdomof heaven can be compared as a
(19:47):
king who decides to bring hisaccounts up to date with the
servants who had borrowed moneyfrom him.
And let me just give you alittle trick If you're in the
Bible app right now followingalong in notes, if you just
click that reference, it'll askyou if you wanna launch the
whole scripture and then you canread the whole story.
Don't do it now, but you can dothat later.
But let me just paraphrase thestory.
(20:10):
There was a man we'll call himman A and man Number One, we'll
call him man Number One.
Man Number One owed a year'sworth of salary to the master.
And as the master was settlingaccounts which, by the way, the
word reconcile means to bringback to zero so he was
reconciling accounts, whichmeant he saw that this man owed
(20:33):
him so much money.
But he reconciled that account,he brought it back to zero and
he forgave that man of thatyear's worth of salary.
And so man number one walks outthe door and runs into man
number two which, by the way,man number two owed man number
one just a day's salary and hesays hey, I just remember you
(20:55):
owe me that.
And he's like oh listen, Ican't pay you today.
Give me a few days and I'll beable to pay it.
And man number one says no,that's not an option.
And even though he had justbeen forgiven of so much, he
looks at man number two and saysnope, you're gonna have to go
to jail for this because you'renot paying me.
Then the master hears aboutman's number one actions and he
(21:16):
goes back and he finds him andhe says you know what?
I was gonna relieve you of thatdebt, but I've changed my mind.
Since you won't forgive, I'mnot forgiving you.
In fact, I'm gonna throw you inprison.
And he said well, in prison,I'll never be able to earn the
money to pay you.
And he said well, you're gonnabe in prison.
And oh, by the way, you willsuffer much harm in prison.
He actually said you'll bebeaten and you will be taken out
(21:38):
in prison because you refusedto obey.
And that is such a picture whenI read that story.
This is what I see.
This is what I see when I readthat story.
The master is God.
Man number two is the personthat has done something against
me, has a debt towards me, andI'm man number one and God has
(22:02):
forgiven me of so much in mylife.
And I'm looking at this personwho's done very little in the
scope of things, and I'm notforgiving him.
Then how can I be forgiven ofso much?
It's almost this is the waythat I frame this.
The greatest debt ever againstus is our sin.
The greatest debt ever againstus is our sin and the greatest
(22:26):
price ever paid for us was hislife.
And because of that, becauseGod forgave me of so much, I
need to learn how to forgivethose.
Even if it's little, bitternesspulls a filter over your eyes
(22:49):
so that every relationship youhave is filtered through that
betrayal.
That's why it's critical for usto learn how to forgive, and I
know, in a meeting like this, ina moment like this, that this
kind of word is a stretch for us, because it actually goes
against how we've responded tomost situations in our life.
(23:14):
And when we carry bitterness andwhen we carry offense in our
life, it seems like we'reconstantly coming up against
something that hinders us frommoving beyond it.
And the reality is, what we'recoming against is the very thing
that we're carrying in ourheart.
Recently, a few years ago, Iused this as an illustration and
(23:41):
I looked all over for it inthis building.
I'm sure it was still here, butI carried a fence around as I
preached a message and it wasjust a section of fence.
And it's what we do when wecarry bitterness and offense in
our life.
And what's incredible to me is,when we carry that fence with
us, it's almost like we'll setthat fence in position so that
(24:04):
nobody can get to us, becausethe hurt of one and the mistrust
of one becomes the mistrust ofall.
And so, instead of using thatlike we think, we're using that
offense and that pain to protectus from it ever happening again
.
But what happens is it not onlykeeps other people out, but it
keeps us locked in, and we'llnever get beyond that until we
(24:29):
learn to let it go.
And I just want to justchallenge you today.
Like man, the Holy Spirit movedin a powerful way in worship
and did far exceeding andabundantly more than we could
ask for or imagine.
But in this moment, we havesomething that we have to do.
And I just wonder who is itthat you need to forgive?
(24:50):
It might have been somethingsmall, it could have been a
story or a joke at your expense,and it could have been
something significant, like awrong touch, or it could be
something that just, man, itseemed so unfair at the time.
(25:11):
Was it painful?
Yeah.
Was it awful?
Yeah.
But it's only going to keepgrowing until you deal with it
and release it.
And the only way you release itis you do just as your heavenly
(25:31):
father has done for you youlearn how to forgive.
So some of you have somehomework today, this week, some
of you have to step back and say, like, who is this person that
I need to forgive?
And you need to write them aletter, pick up the phone, call
(25:58):
them, reach out to them.
But I promise you this is acritical step to your best year
yet.
Because what if we get on theother side of that offense?
What if we get on the otherside of that bitterness been
growing in our heart?
Man, there's to be so muchfreedom.
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There's going to be so muchopportunity.
There's going to be so muchroom in your heart to be filled
up with all the things God'sdoing, all the things God's
saying, all the way he's workingin you.
And this is just the, maybe thelast little piece.
And I'm just standing heresaying can you make this
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declaration with me, can youtake this step with me?
Because if you can forgive, youcan be free.
If you can forgive, you can befree.
If you can forgive, you can befree.
If you can forgive, you can befree.
(27:04):
Are you ready?
Let's put it up on the screen,let's all say it together.
Man, this is gonna be such afreeing moment.
I just get a glimpse of, I geta glimpse of just the, the
excitement of us living on theother side of the fence.
Are you ready?
Here we go ready.
(27:25):
Here we go this year, withGod's help and the power of the
Holy Spirit, I declare I willgreet each day with a spirit of
forgiveness.
I will greet each day with aspirit, a forgiving spirit.
Recognizing the poison causedby bitterness, I will choose to
move forward, forgiving othersthe way Jesus has forgiven me.
(27:49):
Come on, do you mean it?
Can you receive that word today?
The year was 1986.
I was a junior in high schooland my family we had the honor,
my dad and my grandfatherpurchased 80 acres of land in
northern Michigan way before Iwas born.
But we got a chance to go upthere and we called it Up North.
I grew up in Grand Rapids andso it was about an hour and a
half or two hours from our houseand we would hunt for deer, we
(00:30):
would fish, we would drivemotorcycles and dirt bikes and
all kind of crazy stuff.
And on this one occasion in1986, my family it was just my
mom and my dad and me and thenone of the other, my cousins,
their family was up there and itwas my dad.
Had, counting my dad, therewere 10 siblings, and so
everybody got a parcel of landas a part of the legacy and
(00:53):
heritage of my grandfatherpassing, and so we were up there
together, the two families andthe cousins and I were having so
much fun.
I mean, listen, I'm sorry,chicago, we were out shooting
guns and we were out, you know,taking down chipmunks and
squirrels, and I'm sorry, I justgot to be honest, like it's
(01:14):
what you do when you're out inthe woods, you know it's like
there's only a few things youcan do, and that was one of them
, and we rode our dirt bikes andstarted fires in the woods and
then put them out.
Of course we put them out andso.
But we had so much fun and wewere eating dinner, just my
family, and they were in theircabin.
But we were in our little cabineating dinner and then I was
(01:37):
finished before my parents weredone and I was like I'm just
going to go check and see.
And so I was running towardstheir side of the property and I
noticed their truck was leaving.
They were on their way out,loaded up and had a lot of wood
to burn back at the house, andso they were truck full of stuff
.
They were leaving and I turnedaround and ran back to my cabin
(01:59):
and walked in there and theywere like what's up?
I was like, well, they justleft there.
And they were like what's up?
I was like, well, they justleft and I have a declaration,
I'm ready to leave now.
And so they were like okay.
So it took them about 30minutes to clean everything up
and get ready and they're likelet's go.
And so we got in the car andstarted driving south towards
Grand Rapids and it's just a twolane highway, nothing fancy,
(02:19):
all through the little towns ofNorthern Michigan.
And as we were driving we cameup over a hill and the highway
was just illuminated by all kindof emergency vehicles and
ambulance and police officersand it was just lit.
It lit up the sky.
And as we pulled through theaccident scene I'll never forget
(02:41):
it is as clear as today, ascould be.
And I remember looking to myright out of our window of our
vehicle and my uncle's truck wasupside down, the cab of the
truck completely flat, there wasdebris everywhere and I just
remember a panic and fear and mydad said I'm going to.
(03:04):
He pulled over to the side road.
He said let me go check.
And not before my mom realizedI was opening the door and
following after my dad and ToGod be the glory they were, they
were not injured severely,there was no.
It could have been so muchworse.
But the fallout of that was thenext few weeks.
I had such weird emotions and Istruggled for the next weeks
(03:31):
into a couple of months of justsevere anxiety and fear and when
I would close my eyes at nightI would see the image of that
vehicle turned upside down andeven though I knew they were
okay, there was just.
It was like there was agripping fear, that of what
could have been, and I can'texplain it.
I couldn't get around it.
I didn't want to sleep at night.
(03:51):
I didn't try out for basketballthat season, I just had.
I could not get my brain tofocus.
It was just this weight on meand I'll never forget.
One afternoon I was just kind ofcomplaining to my mom about it
and she said you know what,maybe just forgive the driver of
that vehicle that hit youruncle and aunt and your cousins,
(04:12):
and just forgive them and justsee what happens.
And so I'll never forget.
I sat down and I prayed aprayer and I just released that
situation.
I released that guy and hisresponsibility.
I just was like God, I justforgive that person.
I don't think he really meantto do it, but it was.
I forgive him and whatever itwas.
But I'll never forget thatnight I slept all the way
(04:33):
through and the next day I feltso much better and day after day
it was just like I completelybounced back from that just
terrible anxiety and I neverhave dealt with that anxiety
again in my life, and it's theyear that I learned that a
spirit of forgiveness willremove the weight of bitterness
and offense in your life so youcan move forward.
(04:55):
So why don't you just turn toyour neighbor and just say, hey,
I'm ready, and tell the otherone you've been ignoring all
service.
Just bump them and say I have adeclaration.
We're in week three of ourseries, I Declare.
(05:15):
It is a powerful series ofmoving us from want and wish,
and even hope, into action.
And hey, I've got good news foryou you are on your third
Sunday of the best year of yourlife.
Come on, it's your third Sunday, third Sunday of the best year
of your life.
So far, we've had thesedeclarations this year.
(05:38):
With God's help and the powerof the Holy Spirit, I declare I
will be a person of consistency.
And then last week week we madea declaration that I will be.
I will take responsibility formy life and no longer will I
blame others.
I won't play the blame game,but I will release that.
(05:59):
I will take responsibility forwhere I am at life, because the
buck stops with me.
And, man, I just got to give ashout out to those of you.
It was a powerful Sunday.
If you missed it, I would goback and listen or watch it on
YouTube or Facebook or thepodcast.
Anywhere you can find a podcast, you can say hey, alexa, play
Free Church Oak Park podcast andit will come right up and I
(06:22):
would encourage you to listen tothat.
There were so many peopleresponding by email, taking next
steps of responsibility andseeking help to move forward.
And if you haven't done thatyet, it's not over.
There's still time for you tokeep taking responsibility for
where you are at in life.
Not that there was no otherpeople involved in it, but you
take your responsibility andmove forward.
(06:44):
And today is kind of an add-onto that and this is the
declaration.
I'll give it to you and then atthe end we'll share it.
We'll all declare it together.
Are you ready?
So here we go this year, withGod's help and the power of the
Holy Spirit, I declare I willgreet each day with the spirit
(07:05):
of forgiveness.
Should be up on the screenthere.
There we go.
I will greet each day with aforgiving spirit, recognizing
the poison caused by bitterness.
I will choose to move forward,move toward forgiving others the
way Jesus has forgiven me.
Forgiveness.
Everybody say forgiveness,forgiveness.
(07:27):
I'm gonna give you three truthsabout a spirit of forgiveness
and as we move forward, I thinkthis is gonna help you
tremendously.
And when you talk about havingthe best year of your life,
there are things you need tochange in your life and mainly,
you need to let go of what'sbehind you so you can push
(07:52):
forward into what God has foryou.
Paul said this forgettingwhat's behind me, I press on
towards the mark of the prize ofthe high calling of Jesus
Christ, and that mark and thatprize is your best year yet.
So let's go, you ready.
Three truths of how to grow aforgiving spirit.
(08:15):
Number one a forgiving spirit iscommanded in God's word.
It's not a okay, if you want to.
It's not a when it's easy, it'snot, uh, only on friday or only
on sunday morning.
(08:36):
It is an everyday commandmentthat we should walk with a
forgiving spirit.
It's commanded in god's wordand i'll'll give you scripture
for this.
This is Colossians 3 and 13.
Bear with one another and ifanyone has a complaint against
one another because Paul knew wewould have complaints Smack
(08:56):
your gum too loud.
I'm not picking anybody outhere.
I'm just saying there are somethings I have complaints about
others about, but listen ifanyone has a complaint, that
didn't go over well.
So if anyone has a complaintagainst another, forgive each
other.
Just as the Lord has forgivenyou, you also must forgive
Ephesians 4.12 says this and bekind to one another,
(09:19):
tenderhearted, forgiving oneanother, as God in Christ has
forgiven.
You See those commands in there.
Those are commands, that'sGod's word, commanding us to
have a forgiving spirit.
This is what Jesus said inMatthew 4.
It says if you forgive thosewho sin against you, your
heavenly Father will forgive you, but if you refuse to forgive
others, your Father will notforgive you.
(09:42):
There's no conditions to thisverse.
There's no disclaimer orasterisk on this verse.
It is a command that when weforgive, our Father forgives us.
And really, if you want to beforgiven, you have to learn how
to forgive.
It's not like we can say thisis what the scripture doesn't
say.
The scripture doesn't sayforgive unless it's been more
(10:04):
than 10 years, or forgive unlessthey never asked for
forgiveness, or forgive unlessit's adultery or abuse.
No, the scripture says we're toforgive and then we'll be
forgiven.
So that is the first way togrow a forgiving spirit is to
(10:25):
understand that.
It's commanded in Scripture forus.
The second part is this Aforgiving spirit is a strong
witness to an unbelieving world.
It goes against culture.
It goes against culture.
1 John 1.9 says if we confessour sins, he is faithful and
just to forgive us of our sins.
(10:46):
We have in First John 2.2,.
He is the atoning sacrifice forour sins, and not only ours but
also the sins of the world.
So Jesus has forgiven us andwhen we forgive, it helps us to
be more like Jesus.
It helps us to be more likeJesus.
It helps us to be more likeJesus.
(11:07):
You see, forgiveness is acallback to the cross.
Remember as Jesus is hanging onthe cross.
He looks to his right, to hisleft, he looks in front of all
the people there and he saysFather, forgive them, for they
do not know what they are doing.
It means we even need toforgive when it's
unintentionally harming us, whenothers are unintentionally
(11:32):
causing harm in our lives.
We learn how to forgive.
When you forgive, you'rereleasing the right to revenge
or retaliation, and that's whatmakes you most like Jesus, and I
read this the other dayForgiveness is a funny thing.
It warms the heart and it coolsthe sting, and I think that's so
(11:55):
true.
Forgiveness also has physicaland mental effects on our life.
When we forgive and we don'tcarry that weight of bitterness
and offense, we actually we livea healthier life.
We can trace sickness to stressand sickness to bitterness, and
(12:17):
so when you forgive, youactually live a healthier
lifestyle.
Holding on to bitterness is atrap that actually can destroy
you.
Look at Hebrews 12 and 15.
It says look after each otherso that none of you fails to
receive the grace of God.
Watch out that no poisonousroot of bitterness grows up to
(12:38):
trouble you, corrupting many.
And I was thinking about thisthat remember in school when in
school, your teacher had tobring a milk carton and I know
that you usually used a smallerone, but I used bigger ones so
we could see it better.
But they would have you bring amilk carton and then you would
put the, the soil in and youwould put a seed or two.
(13:02):
Or, if you were like me, I putas many as I could in there
because I wanted the plant to beas big as possible, and and
then the teacher would say okay,there's a few things that you
have to do if you want this to.
I put as many as I could inthere because I wanted the plant
to be as big as possible.
And then the teacher would say,okay, there's a few things that
you have to do.
If you want this to grow, youhave to water it.
And so you would water that.
And then you know, you wouldprep it all week long and then
Friday most of us were soexcited to get out of the room
(13:23):
we wouldn't water it and we'drun out.
But you know, the A studentsnot me, the C students we were
out on the, we were already outon Friday, it's like the weekend
.
But the A students, they wouldprep and water and then you come
back and then the plant wouldbe like this because they
(13:46):
watered it and then they wouldcontinue to water it.
What I hated most about thisproject was mine mostly
resembled this.
Rarely ever resembled this.
And then the teacher's petwould walk in and it would
resemble that.
I forgive you, susie, in thirdgrade for being a teacher's pet,
(14:11):
but our teacher would saysomething when we were leaving.
She would actually say this Ifyou don't water it, it won't
grow.
And that's the same withbitterness If you don't water
that, it's gonna grow if youcontinue to water it.
And look at this.
(14:32):
I thought this was prettypowerful.
That where am I out of my nosehere?
Because it's powerful.
The root of bitterness growswhen it is watered by the
moisture of our memory andfertilized by the failure to
(14:54):
forgive.
So if you, if you don't wantbitterness to grow in you, don't
water it.
I read this today, like don'tlet today's pain rob you of
tomorrow's hope.
So I read this evil for evil isman's way.
(15:16):
Evil for good is the devil'sway.
Good for evil is God's way andGod's way should be our way.
Like even though we I meaneverybody would justify if
somebody does wrong, it'sjustifiable, go ahead and take
them out.
But that's what the devil wantsto do.
(15:36):
The devil wants to tempt you tolive in this lifestyle of just
wait.
Or here comes my revenge, herecomes my moment for payback.
And I'm just telling you.
The word of God tells us don'twater that bitterness, don't
water that bitterness, don'twater that bitterness.
I love this quote by Lee Strobel.
He says those who move towardbitterness rather than
forgiveness can become a hostageto their own hatred.
(15:59):
So my question is do you havethe grudge or does the grudge
have you?
We need to learn how to forgiveand people handle bitterness in
different ways.
I read this about this olderlady, single lady, senior lady,
who was pre-planning her funeraland she went to the funeral
(16:22):
home and bought the lot and wastalking to the funeral director
and he was going through theorder of the service with her
and then he said okay, well, youneed pallbearers, that's the
people that carry the casket toand from the hearse.
And he said so, who would youlike that to be?
And she named six of her femalefriends and the funeral
(16:45):
director sat back and he thoughtfor a minute and he said now I
just wanna make sure you don'twant any men to help carry the
casket.
It's gonna be pretty heavy.
And she says no way, those guyswouldn't take me out when I'm
alive and they're certainly notgonna take me out when I'm dead.
You're gonna carry thatbitterness all the way to the
(17:11):
grave.
You know, if you don't, if youdon't feed it and if you don't
water it, the bitterness willnot grow in your life.
A snake slithered into a barnand slithered over a saw and as
(17:32):
it went over the saw, the teethof the saw cut the snake and
shocked it and then, just in itsown natural instinct.
It turned around and coiledaround.
That saw in anger and then ithurt more and so it coiled even
stronger, even tighter, and thenit hurt more and it coiled even
(17:54):
tighter until finally the snakebled out, not realizing the
snake could have saved his lifehad he let go of the initial
pain.
And that, friends, is how manyof us live.
It's not the last pain thattakes us out.
It's the first smaller pain andwe keep coiling and attacking
(18:16):
and feeding and watering it.
And I'm telling you we have tostop watering it.
And last one, as I close,number three, number three is
this A forgiving spirit growsfrom experiencing it firsthand.
(18:40):
Scripture says Matthew 18 and21,.
Then Peter came to him.
This is Jesus.
He came to Jesus and asked Lord, how often should we forgive
someone who sins?
How often should I forgivesomeone who sins against me?
Seven times, boy Peter, you are.
Let's give it up for Peter.
(19:01):
He is so seven times, let's go.
Everybody is like, oh, seven.
I know those guys around himare like teacher's pet, like God
.
No, peter does it again.
But Jesus says no, not seventimes, but 70 times seven.
(19:25):
And the reality of that wasPeter.
If you're counting, it's notworking.
If you're counting, yourheart's not in it.
If you're counting, you're justgoing through the motion to get
it over with.
And Jesus continues, and hetells this story in verse 23.
He says therefore, the kingdomof heaven can be compared as a
(19:47):
king who decides to bring hisaccounts up to date with the
servants who had borrowed moneyfrom him.
And let me just give you alittle trick If you're in the
Bible app right now followingalong in notes, if you just
click that reference, it'll askyou if you wanna launch the
whole scripture and then you canread the whole story.
Don't do it now, but you can dothat later.
But let me just paraphrase thestory.
(20:10):
There was a man we'll call himman A and man Number One, we'll
call him man Number One.
Man Number One owed a year'sworth of salary to the master.
And as the master was settlingaccounts which, by the way, the
word reconcile means to bringback to zero so he was
reconciling accounts, whichmeant he saw that this man owed
(20:33):
him so much money.
But he reconciled that account,he brought it back to zero and
he forgave that man of thatyear's worth of salary.
And so man number one walks outthe door and runs into man
number two which, by the way,man number two owed man number
one just a day's salary and hesays hey, I just remember you
(20:55):
owe me that.
And he's like oh listen, Ican't pay you today.
Give me a few days and I'll beable to pay it.
And man number one says no,that's not an option.
And even though he had justbeen forgiven of so much, he
looks at man number two and saysnope, you're gonna have to go
to jail for this because you'renot paying me.
Then the master hears aboutman's number one actions and he
(21:16):
goes back and he finds him andhe says you know what?
I was gonna relieve you of thatdebt, but I've changed my mind.
Since you won't forgive, I'mnot forgiving you.
In fact, I'm gonna throw you inprison.
And he said well, in prison,I'll never be able to earn the
money to pay you.
And he said well, you're gonnabe in prison.
And oh, by the way, you willsuffer much harm in prison.
He actually said you'll bebeaten and you will be taken out
(21:38):
in prison because you refusedto obey.
And that is such a picture whenI read that story.
This is what I see.
This is what I see when I readthat story.
The master is God.
Man number two is the personthat has done something against
me, has a debt towards me, andI'm man number one and God has
(22:02):
forgiven me of so much in mylife.
And I'm looking at this personwho's done very little in the
scope of things, and I'm notforgiving him.
Then how can I be forgiven ofso much?
It's almost this is the waythat I frame this.
The greatest debt ever againstus is our sin.
The greatest debt ever againstus is our sin and the greatest
(22:26):
price ever paid for us was hislife.
And because of that, becauseGod forgave me of so much, I
need to learn how to forgivethose.
Even if it's little, bitternesspulls a filter over your eyes
(22:49):
so that every relationship youhave is filtered through that
betrayal.
That's why it's critical for usto learn how to forgive, and I
know, in a meeting like this, ina moment like this, that this
kind of word is a stretch for us, because it actually goes
against how we've responded tomost situations in our life.
(23:14):
And when we carry bitterness andwhen we carry offense in our
life, it seems like we'reconstantly coming up against
something that hinders us frommoving beyond it.
And the reality is, what we'recoming against is the very thing
that we're carrying in ourheart.
Recently, a few years ago, Iused this as an illustration and
(23:41):
I looked all over for it inthis building.
I'm sure it was still here, butI carried a fence around as I
preached a message and it wasjust a section of fence.
And it's what we do when wecarry bitterness and offense in
our life.
And what's incredible to me is,when we carry that fence with
us, it's almost like we'll setthat fence in position so that
(24:04):
nobody can get to us, becausethe hurt of one and the mistrust
of one becomes the mistrust ofall.
And so, instead of using thatlike we think, we're using that
offense and that pain to protectus from it ever happening again
.
But what happens is it not onlykeeps other people out, but it
keeps us locked in, and we'llnever get beyond that until we
(24:29):
learn to let it go.
And I just want to justchallenge you today.
Like man, the Holy Spirit movedin a powerful way in worship
and did far exceeding andabundantly more than we could
ask for or imagine.
But in this moment, we havesomething that we have to do.
And I just wonder who is itthat you need to forgive?
(24:50):
It might have been somethingsmall, it could have been a
story or a joke at your expense,and it could have been
something significant, like awrong touch, or it could be
something that just, man, itseemed so unfair at the time.
(25:11):
Was it painful?
Yeah.
Was it awful?
Yeah.
But it's only going to keepgrowing until you deal with it
and release it.
And the only way you release itis you do just as your heavenly
(25:31):
father has done for you youlearn how to forgive.
So some of you have somehomework today, this week, some
of you have to step back and say, like, who is this person that
I need to forgive?
And you need to write them aletter, pick up the phone, call
(25:58):
them, reach out to them.
But I promise you this is acritical step to your best year
yet.
Because what if we get on theother side of that offense?
What if we get on the otherside of that bitterness been
growing in our heart?
Man, there's to be so muchfreedom.
(26:21):
There's going to be so muchopportunity.
There's going to be so muchroom in your heart to be filled
up with all the things God'sdoing, all the things God's
saying, all the way he's workingin you.
And this is just the, maybe thelast little piece.
And I'm just standing heresaying can you make this
(26:42):
declaration with me, can youtake this step with me?
Because if you can forgive, youcan be free.
If you can forgive, you can befree.
If you can forgive, you can befree.
If you can forgive, you can befree.
(27:04):
Are you ready?
Let's put it up on the screen,let's all say it together.
Man, this is gonna be such afreeing moment.
I just get a glimpse of, I geta glimpse of just the, the
excitement of us living on theother side of the fence.
Are you ready?
Here we go ready.
(27:25):
Here we go this year, withGod's help and the power of the
Holy Spirit, I declare I willgreet each day with a spirit of
forgiveness.
I will greet each day with aspirit, a forgiving spirit.
Recognizing the poison causedby bitterness, I will choose to
move forward, forgiving othersthe way Jesus has forgiven me.
(27:49):
Come on, do you mean it?
Can you receive that word today?
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