January 13, 2025 • 30 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Listen, I'm ready to preach God's word.
Are you ready to receive it?
Today the year was 1981.
I was just a lad, as they say,young, young, little kid running
the streets of Grand Rapids,michigan.
And when I say running thestreets, it was just my little
(00:20):
neighborhood, about four streets, that we would all hang out
with a group of friends that wehad gone to school with since
kindergarten, and we all werepretty active, and so there were
all kind of games.
It was wiffle ball, baseball,football, basketball, kickball,
kick the can, whatever, whateverany game.
That, because, unlike thisgeneration that has a phone and
(00:43):
a game system, we had nothing.
We had to make up our own stuff.
So our mom would kick us out ofthe house after our homework was
done and say Don't come back.
Don't come back until you hearthe whistle.
And my dad would whistle andthat meant dinner was ready, and
no matter where you were atwhen dad whistled, if you were
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rounding third base, about toscore the winning run, you would
just round third base and runstraight to your house because
you didn't want, you couldn't be, you don't want it.
When the whistle happens, youbetter get home.
And uh.
So one day we were playing atmy friend's house and we moved
to the backyard to play kickballand, uh, I don't know, for some
reason somebody rolled it likein the wrong direction and I
(01:28):
decided to be funny.
I was going to kick it over thehouse but instead I kicked it
right through the big the windowand as soon as it happened,
everybody was like they frozeand I pretended that I heard the
whistle and I ran and I ranstraight home and I got inside
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and went upstairs and in ourlittle house we had upstairs a
little closet that you couldhide in, and so I just went and
sat in that closet and I wasshaking, thinking what am I?
Oh, my god, I'm in big trouble,but maybe nobody will know it
if I just stay here.
So I stayed in that littlecloset and then I heard the
doorbell ring and my mom calledup and I'm not going to say how
(02:11):
she called me up, because thenyou might call me that.
So she called me up and I wentdownstairs and I stood there and
the parent was like I just wantto know what happened.
I was like, well, I was tryingto kick the ball over the house.
The ball went through the house, but it's really because Tommy
rolled the ball in a weird way.
(02:33):
I don't know, but if Tommywouldn't have rolled it I would
have never kicked it.
And she said but you did.
That parent was like you didkick it.
And I said, yes, ma'am, and mymom was like Chuck.
And I was like and my mom wentto say like whatever we have to
do to fix the window, we'll dothat.
(02:53):
And the mom was like I justwanted to know you did it and
for you to say it and you don'thave to worry about it, we'll
get it fixed.
But I just wanted you to sayyou did it.
And then she turned around andleft and I was like, wow, it was
really stinky running away andgetting caught and having her
come visit my house.
But it was her coming to thehouse and saying that was a lot
(03:16):
better than sitting in thatcloset wondering how much
trouble I was going to be in.
It's the year I learned takingresponsibility isn't fun, but it
is mandatory.
Why don't you tell yourneighbor and say I declare.
And then to the one you've beenignoring all service, bump them
and just say I'm on my way tomy best Sunday, yet it's good.
(03:43):
We're in week two of our series, I Declare Last week we made a
declaration together as we movedfrom this idea of wish and want
, and even just hoping forsomething to change, into
actually the action of change,and I think we have it on our
notes, pull it up and let's sayyou don't have to say it with me
(04:04):
, but remember last year we saidthis year, with God's help and
the power of the Holy Spirit, Ideclare I will be a person of
consistency, becausetransformation happens when I do
consistently what others dooccasionally.
And I really need to pause andjust say I want to give you
props, for those of you that aretaking new small steps in your
(04:27):
journey of following Jesus, tobe more consistent in your Bible
reading, to fast with us.
Maybe this is your first seasonof fasting.
Somebody came up to me last weekand said I'm I'm giving up
things in this fast, even thingsthat I've been addicted to, and
I just want to stand and giveyou props and know you're not
alone.
We're praying for you in thisjourney, we're standing with you
in this journey.
(04:47):
We're going to be here for youand you're going to make it, one
step at a time, be consistent.
So that was last week.
This week is a little differentand, as Pastor Matthew would
say, this one might be tough.
Did I get it A little bit tough?
(05:13):
I'm close right.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
It's to get my voice to move up, because I'm not quite as cool
as PM.
But this one's going to be alittle different and I'm just
going to give it to you straightoff the bat this year, with
God's help and the power of theHoly Spirit, I declare I will
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take responsibility for my life.
Never again will I blamesomeone else for where I am the
buck stops here, someone elsefor where I am.
The buck stops here.
I heard you.
I heard you say why?
(06:06):
Why is it so tough to takeresponsibility?
Because because, honestly,collectively, we could all just
say it's because Tommy rolledthe ball a certain way.
It's never our fault we live inan oops, I did it again, but
it's never our fault world.
And I was thinking you know,like?
These are the things that I'veheard over the years.
Well, they lied.
She know, like these are thethings that I've heard over the
(06:27):
years.
Well, they lied.
She cheated.
He's distant, no one could everwork for that boss.
And then here's the big one.
Why did God let this happen tome?
And so we're in this space ofculture that just says, actually
, let's cast the blame, let'splay the blame game.
(06:51):
And it's not just culture, eventhe dogs are in it.
I think we have a little video.
I don't know how good the audiois going to be, but check this
little video out.
I will give you the opportunityto do the right thing.
I know it's going to take sometime, but think about it.
Think about doing the rightthing, guys.
So now I ask you, who took thecookie off the counter?
(07:16):
Even the dogs are in the blamegame.
Even the dogs are in the blamegame.
But if you watch the videoagain, you could see, you would
be able to see, you know who'sguilty.
It's in the eyes.
(07:36):
It's in the eyes.
The other one's like what arewe here for?
What are we here for?
The one in the eyes littlesquinty eyes, scheming, scheming
, scheming.
It's all of culture that playsthe blame game.
But it's not just currentculture.
We can look back at Bibleculture, bible history, and
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listen.
God created us to beresponsible.
Look at this Genesis 127.
Catch up with me in the notesGenesis 127.
So God created mankind in hisown image.
It wasn't enough just to say itonce, we got to say it again In
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the image of God.
He created them All.
Right frame that for a secondCircle.
That remember that.
We're gonna come back to that.
Watch In verse 28, in themessage it says this and God
blessed them and said prosper,woo, reproduce guys.
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Woo.
Nothing, guys, man.
That's the weakest bunch ofguys in the room.
I don't love kids, I love mywife.
God says prosper, reproduce,fill the earth, take charge, be
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responsible.
And that was that's what hetold them.
And in a world where Godcreated his people to be
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responsible, guess how manyrules there were?
One, not 10, not 670, not NewTestament, new two, no one, one.
And that one was don't eat ofthe tree of the knowledge of
good and evil.
And I'm gonna just give you thereference because you know it,
(09:45):
it's all in your notes.
If you got the notes today fromRenee, it's there you can have
the scripture reference.
But you know God says don't eatfrom that tree.
And what happens?
Adam and Eve, they're like wegot it.
And then the enemy, the devil,falls from heaven and he gets in
the form of a serpent and hetempts Eve with this challenge
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if you eat from this fruit, youwill be like God.
Hello Newsflash, we're made inhis image.
We're already like God.
So that was the first lie thatthe enemy told.
You don't have to havesomething to be like God.
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You are like God because you'remade in his image.
But that doesn't mean you onlyget what you get, because God
gives you the direction to giveit Reproduce, prosper, take
charge, fill the earth, beresponsible, don't eat from that
tree.
And so we know that they eat.
(10:52):
They eat the fruit and Godshows up and God's like hey,
where are you?
I'm here for my evening walk.
The Bible says that God walkedwith Adam and Eve every evening.
Imagine that kind of closeness.
That's why 21 days of prayer isso important, because it gets
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us into the position of it'slike we're walking with God
every single day in the garden,having a conversation, and he
wants to give us someinstruction and give us words of
wisdom and and help us when weneed to have spaces where we
take charge and fill the earthand prosper and reproduce and be
responsible.
And so god says where are you?
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And and we know the story adamand eve were hiding.
And.
And they're hiding.
And God says well, why are youhiding?
And this is what Adam says.
He says, well, we were afraidbecause we noticed we were
unclothed.
What had happened is the veilof the holiness of God had
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disappeared from their life.
And God said well, how did youknow that veil was gone?
Did you eat from the fruit, didyou?
And Adam's like well, god, lookat this, you gave me the woman.
If you wouldn't have given methat woman, I would have never
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ate that fruit.
The woman If you wouldn't havegiven me that woman, I would
have never ate that fruit.
And you know what else, god,she gave me the fruit.
I want to say, like Adam, be aman, stand up and be responsible
, stand up, and you could havestopped that situation by being
the leader of your house.
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But he's like no, god, you gaveme.
And then no, she gave me.
And then so God looks at Eveand he says what about it?
And you know what Eve says itwas the devil.
The devil made me do it.
And look at the direction thatwe cast our blame when we play
this game, the direction that wecast.
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It goes in three areas we blameGod, we blame others or we
blame the devil.
It's never our fault.
We cannot be people that skirtthe responsibility and get
involved in the blame game.
We need to take responsibility,and I would let you know that
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this is the situation, because Iwant to get to my notes and say
this the right way when we playthe blame game, we can't make
peace with our past or moveforward to a better future.
Oh, you'll move to your future,but it cannot be a better
future as long as you blameothers around you for where you
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are at in your life.
So, if there's an area in yourlife that you're stuck in during
these 21 days, if you canmantle the strength to take
responsibility, you'll begin tomove forward, and this is what I
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remember.
They taught this when we werekids.
When you point the blame atsomeone, you're sending one
finger of blame at them, butlook, you're pointing three back
at yourself, and that's wherewe need to lean in.
So are you tracking with me?
Let's keep moving.
So the first point I want tohelp you take responsibility in
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the next few minutes.
I have Number one blame is thebasket that carries your issue
into your future.
Blame is the basket thatcarries your issues into your
future.
Blame is the basket thatcarries your issues into your
future, and what happens is iswe began to carry this issue
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around with us.
We refuse to deal with it andwe want everybody to know that
we have issues.
Why else would we carry it?
So we're blaming others and wehave this laundry basket of
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issues and dirty laundry that weair out and we're like well,
let me just tell you, this was,this, was so and so, and this
all came because of so and so.
And they might say, well, well,what about what about that
moment?
There he's like, yeah, that, no, that's not important.
It's that, that was me, butthat's not important.
This is, this is the one righthere.
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And we, just we, we do that ineverything.
We're like if you only knewwhat so-and-so did, and all of
these, all of these, all of thisis because of what they,
whatever they said, and I just,yeah, but what about that little
spot?
Yeah, no, don't worry aboutthat, let's focus on what they
did.
And we carry our dirty laundrywith us and it prevents us from
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moving into our future.
And we're so focused and here'swhat I know because we're
casting blame.
That also means we're pointingthe finger at others instead of
acknowledging hey, instead oflooking at everybody else's
dirty laundry, what have westarted?
To handle and do our ownlaundry?
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That's why, moms, you need toteach your teenage sons to do
their laundry now, so they knowhow to do it.
It's easy.
It's easy to cast blame andcarry shame, and, and you know
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what, when it comes to sin inour life, you know we, we can
cast blame and and what happensis we begin to carry the shame.
Why?
Because sin is what you do,guilt is what you feel and shame
is what you do.
Guilt is what you feel andshame is what you carry.
And look at this.
This is why it's easy.
It's easy to cast blame andcarry shame, although it's not
biblical.
It's easy to focus on someoneelse's issues than take
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responsibility for your life.
Look what Jesus said Don't pickon people, jump on their
failures, criticize their faultsunless, of course, you want the
same treatment.
Come on, let's takeresponsibility.
Let's get our laundry and getit done.
When you ignore your issues,you end up carrying those same
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things into that nextrelationship, into that next job
, into that next budget hey,into that next job, into that
next budget, hey, into that nextchurch.
You just carry the same thingbecause you refuse to deal with
it.
And I'm going to tell you likethe names and the faces may
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change for you in those newplaces, but the issue remains
the same.
You got to deal with it beforeyou can move forward to a better
future.
Late in the 1800s, early 1900sin Europe, all throughout Europe
, there was a spread of adisease and it was called the
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perpetual fever and others namedit the black death of childhood
.
And what would happen is,during childbirth, mothers
within a 48 hour time period,and about 70 to 80 percent of
moms after delivering theirchildren, they would get this
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high fever and this disease, and70 to 80 percent of them would
die within just a few days.
And so everybody was perplexed.
They moved all through Europe,even over to America, and the
doctors were like well, we needto see what's going on.
And they were like we can'tfigure it out, we don't know, we
don't know.
And there was one doctor, um,mr holmes, dr holmes who said um
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, I think I understand what itis, it's, it's, it's the doctors
, it's us, it's ourresponsibility.
And all the other doctors werelike no, it might be you, it's
not us, we're the doctors, we'vegot the training.
And he said, said no, listen.
He said this is what I've beennoticing is in the morning,
you're performing autopsies andthen in the afternoon, in the
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same room, without sanitizingthe room and without washing
your hands, you're performingchildbirth, you're delivering
children, and if we would changeour practice, we would end that
disease.
And for 30 years, 30 years,doctors were like that's not on
us, there's no way this thing ison us.
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And as soon as they changed thepractice to sanitize, to wash
their hands, the disease ended.
The lesson in this story is thisthe lesson is this Sometimes we
are the problem and we don'twant to admit it.
Like we are the problem, but wedon't want to admit it.
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And I'm going to tell youchurch, for this to be your best
year ever this is the secondSunday of your best year ever
you're gonna have to learn totake responsibility for the
place that you're at right nowin your life, in every area.
So blame is the basket youcarry.
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And number two blame forfeitsyour power to change.
As long as I cast blame, Icannot change, because what I'm
saying is I can only change ifthey change.
As soon as they change, thenI'll change and we even get into
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the position of like God, willyou change them?
Help them change.
And God is like listen, I'llwork on them, but take
responsibility for where you'reat and you change.
It is the beginning.
That I can't change until theychange is the beginning of the
victim mentality.
It's not on me, it's everybodyelse.
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As soon as everybody elsechanges, I'll do better.
I'll change.
Dr Edith Edgar.
She was a Holocaust survivorand a psychologist.
She said this we become our ownjailers when we choose the
confines of the victim's mind.
She goes on to say in myexperience, victims ask why me?
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And survivors ask what now?
This is how Jesus said it.
Jesus said I have told youthese things so that in me you
may have peace In this world.
You will have trouble, but take, take heart.
I have overcome the world.
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Jesus was telling us.
There's going to be things.
There's going to be things thatyou face.
Trouble is coming your way andit's coming your way.
But take heart because I'vealready overcome the world.
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He's already accomplished thevictory for you and you don't
have to be a victim.
You can be an overcomer, butyou can't sit in the world of
why me.
You have to move into the worldof what now?
What now?
So let's move into that phase,that what now?
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Stage.
Get away from the blame game.
When you take responsibilityfor your life, you have the
power to change your future.
I want to ask you two questionstoday.
I want to ask you two questionsbecause I think it's important
for us to work our way throughthis.
And the first question is thiswho are you blaming?
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Who are you blaming?
Can I just stop for a minuteand just say I know in a room
this size there's probably someof you that have dealt with as a
child, physical, some of youthat have dealt with as a child
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physical, mental, vocal abuseand especially physical abuse.
And I would say as a child.
Can I just tell you that wasnever your fault.
You had nothing.
There was nothing you did towarrant that terrible act on you
.
There was nothing you did towarrant that terrible act on you
.
You have no responsibility forwhat was done to you.
But you want to know where youhave responsibility, to be able
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to move forward, takeresponsibility, to take a step
forward and say what now,instead of sitting in a space of
why me?
What about some of you others?
Who are you blaming?
I mean, when you get right downto it, you could say, well, my
parents told me not to go afterthat girl.
Or my pastor said don't go intothat situation.
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Or my small group said that'snot the place for you to go hang
out.
Who are you blaming?
The second question is this whatarea of your life do you need
to take responsibility in anddeclare that from this day
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forward, you're going to moveforward, no longer playing the
blame game, but takingresponsibility and thank the
Lord, moving into a what nowposition in your life?
Maybe let me just tell you,maybe you need counseling and
not pastoral counsel.
I'm happy to sit with you andcounsel with you, but I got
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about this much experience Well,I got 30 years of doing it as a
pastor.
But I think sometimes in thechurch world we feel like we
can't go to a counselor because,well, I mean, I need a
spiritual advisor and you canfind a spiritual counselor, a
Christian counseling service.
(25:31):
In fact, if you need counseling, will you email me?
It's the easiest email in theworld, chuck at freechurch.
Email me and I'll send you alist of people that could
counsel you.
It's so important that couldcounsel you.
It's so important In the worstyears of our life.
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Well, I'll share one year inparticular.
It was a year that the wholeworld seemed to be turning
against us and I found myselfstruggling in a space of am I a
good leader?
Is it me?
Am I like, am I doing the rightthing?
And and I was like I don't evenknow what what's happening.
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I don't even know where to turn.
And one of my friends, out ofthe blue, called me and said hey
, you know I've been using thiscounselor.
Maybe you want to call him andI think it'd be good for you.
I feel like it was the HolySpirit that set that message up
to me and I reached out and Icalled him in the first session.
On the phone he was like tellme what's going on.
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And I was like I'm just goingto share just a little bit.
I don't want to go too deep inthe first session.
I like leave some for the nextone.
Right, it's like I got a lot,so let me just start here the
easy stuff.
And the whole time, as I wasstarting, I was thinking of all
of the people that were to blamefor where I was at.
People did this, people saidthis, people acted like this.
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And I started talking andtelling what was happening.
I got to a spot where I pausedand he just said Chuck, let me
just tell you, you're not theonly person that feels like this
, chuck, let me just tell you,you're not the only person that
feels like this.
But let me ask you, what areyou doing to move out of this
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space?
What are you going to do tomove forward?
And he's like I'm going to giveyou three things.
And he gave me a book to read,he gave me some steps to take
and he gave me like a handful oflittle bits and pieces that I
could just kind of work out onmy own for a little bit, until
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the next session.
And I was like okay, all right,and the whole time I was like
this and I hit that.
I was going to say I hung upthe phone but you don't hang up
phones anymore.
I hit the end call button.
All of a sudden I just it wasshocking Gushing tears.
I walked into the kitchen whereShana was and she's like yeah,
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it was okay, but somethinghappened in that time of working
with with him and and it wasthis it was.
I learned that that I there's noway I would ever get out of
that space in my mind ofquestioning myself of, of all of
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that, until I quit blaming thepeople that were around me.
I just had to takeresponsibility.
Here's where we're at.
There are some things out of mycontrol, but this is in my
control and what's in my controlI'm gonna make decisions on and
move forward, and that is thespace for us to close this
service on.
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So I wanna, I wanna, I wanna askyou to make this declaration
let's move together, let's moveforward.
We're not on our own.
I'm going to pull this up onthe screen and I want us.
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If you're ready, maybe justtake a minute, close your eyes,
let the Holy Spirit.
If you're ready, maybe justtake a minute, close your eyes,
let the Holy Spirit lead you fora second Commune with you Talk
to you.
Who are you blaming?
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What area do you need to takeresponsibility in?
And I want you to feel the HolySpirit doing this.
This is what the Bible says inthe book of Isaiah when the
storm comes in like a flood, theHoly Spirit will raise up a
standard for your life and Iwant you to feel that standard
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being lifted in your spiritright now.
That's the Holy Spirit.
You're like, well, I don'treally feel something, but I'm
gonna tell you it's happeningright now.
If you receive this power ofthe Holy Spirit to raise a
standard in your life, to helpyou take responsibility, and if
you're ready, I want you to openyour eyes and look to the
screens and I want you to saythis with me Are?
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I want you to open your eyesand look to the screens and I
want you to say this with me Areyou ready?
Here we go this year.
With God's help and the powerof the Holy Spirit, I declare I
will take responsibility for mylife.
Never again will I blamesomeone else for where I am.
The buck stops with me.
Amen.
Can you receive that word today?
Listen, I'm ready to preach God's word.
Are you ready to receive it?
Today the year was 1981.
I was just a lad, as they say,young, young, little kid running
the streets of Grand Rapids,michigan.
And when I say running thestreets, it was just my little
(00:20):
neighborhood, about four streets, that we would all hang out
with a group of friends that wehad gone to school with since
kindergarten, and we all werepretty active, and so there were
all kind of games.
It was wiffle ball, baseball,football, basketball, kickball,
kick the can, whatever, whateverany game.
That, because, unlike thisgeneration that has a phone and
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a game system, we had nothing.
We had to make up our own stuff.
So our mom would kick us out ofthe house after our homework was
done and say Don't come back.
Don't come back until you hearthe whistle.
And my dad would whistle andthat meant dinner was ready, and
no matter where you were atwhen dad whistled, if you were
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rounding third base, about toscore the winning run, you would
just round third base and runstraight to your house because
you didn't want, you couldn't be, you don't want it.
When the whistle happens, youbetter get home.
And uh.
So one day we were playing atmy friend's house and we moved
to the backyard to play kickballand, uh, I don't know, for some
reason somebody rolled it likein the wrong direction and I
(01:28):
decided to be funny.
I was going to kick it over thehouse but instead I kicked it
right through the big the windowand as soon as it happened,
everybody was like they frozeand I pretended that I heard the
whistle and I ran and I ranstraight home and I got inside
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and went upstairs and in ourlittle house we had upstairs a
little closet that you couldhide in, and so I just went and
sat in that closet and I wasshaking, thinking what am I?
Oh, my god, I'm in big trouble,but maybe nobody will know it
if I just stay here.
So I stayed in that littlecloset and then I heard the
doorbell ring and my mom calledup and I'm not going to say how
(02:11):
she called me up, because thenyou might call me that.
So she called me up and I wentdownstairs and I stood there and
the parent was like I just wantto know what happened.
I was like, well, I was tryingto kick the ball over the house.
The ball went through the house, but it's really because Tommy
rolled the ball in a weird way.
(02:33):
I don't know, but if Tommywouldn't have rolled it I would
have never kicked it.
And she said but you did.
That parent was like you didkick it.
And I said, yes, ma'am, and mymom was like Chuck.
And I was like and my mom wentto say like whatever we have to
do to fix the window, we'll dothat.
(02:53):
And the mom was like I justwanted to know you did it and
for you to say it and you don'thave to worry about it, we'll
get it fixed.
But I just wanted you to sayyou did it.
And then she turned around andleft and I was like, wow, it was
really stinky running away andgetting caught and having her
come visit my house.
But it was her coming to thehouse and saying that was a lot
(03:16):
better than sitting in thatcloset wondering how much
trouble I was going to be in.
It's the year I learned takingresponsibility isn't fun, but it
is mandatory.
Why don't you tell yourneighbor and say I declare.
And then to the one you've beenignoring all service, bump them
and just say I'm on my way tomy best Sunday, yet it's good.
(03:43):
We're in week two of our series, I Declare Last week we made a
declaration together as we movedfrom this idea of wish and want
, and even just hoping forsomething to change, into
actually the action of change,and I think we have it on our
notes, pull it up and let's sayyou don't have to say it with me
(04:04):
, but remember last year we saidthis year, with God's help and
the power of the Holy Spirit, Ideclare I will be a person of
consistency, becausetransformation happens when I do
consistently what others dooccasionally.
And I really need to pause andjust say I want to give you
props, for those of you that aretaking new small steps in your
(04:27):
journey of following Jesus, tobe more consistent in your Bible
reading, to fast with us.
Maybe this is your first seasonof fasting.
Somebody came up to me last weekand said I'm I'm giving up
things in this fast, even thingsthat I've been addicted to, and
I just want to stand and giveyou props and know you're not
alone.
We're praying for you in thisjourney, we're standing with you
in this journey.
(04:47):
We're going to be here for youand you're going to make it, one
step at a time, be consistent.
So that was last week.
This week is a little differentand, as Pastor Matthew would
say, this one might be tough.
Did I get it A little bit tough?
(05:13):
I'm close right.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
It's to get my voice to move up, because I'm not quite as cool
as PM.
But this one's going to be alittle different and I'm just
going to give it to you straightoff the bat this year, with
God's help and the power of theHoly Spirit, I declare I will
(05:35):
take responsibility for my life.
Never again will I blamesomeone else for where I am the
buck stops here, someone elsefor where I am.
The buck stops here.
I heard you.
I heard you say why?
(06:06):
Why is it so tough to takeresponsibility?
Because because, honestly,collectively, we could all just
say it's because Tommy rolledthe ball a certain way.
It's never our fault we live inan oops, I did it again, but
it's never our fault world.
And I was thinking you know,like?
These are the things that I'veheard over the years.
Well, they lied.
She know, like these are thethings that I've heard over the
(06:27):
years.
Well, they lied.
She cheated.
He's distant, no one could everwork for that boss.
And then here's the big one.
Why did God let this happen tome?
And so we're in this space ofculture that just says, actually
, let's cast the blame, let'splay the blame game.
(06:51):
And it's not just culture, eventhe dogs are in it.
I think we have a little video.
I don't know how good the audiois going to be, but check this
little video out.
I will give you the opportunityto do the right thing.
I know it's going to take sometime, but think about it.
Think about doing the rightthing, guys.
So now I ask you, who took thecookie off the counter?
(07:16):
Even the dogs are in the blamegame.
Even the dogs are in the blamegame.
But if you watch the videoagain, you could see, you would
be able to see, you know who'sguilty.
It's in the eyes.
(07:36):
It's in the eyes.
The other one's like what arewe here for?
What are we here for?
The one in the eyes littlesquinty eyes, scheming, scheming
, scheming.
It's all of culture that playsthe blame game.
But it's not just currentculture.
We can look back at Bibleculture, bible history, and
(07:58):
listen.
God created us to beresponsible.
Look at this Genesis 127.
Catch up with me in the notesGenesis 127.
So God created mankind in hisown image.
It wasn't enough just to say itonce, we got to say it again In
(08:20):
the image of God.
He created them All.
Right frame that for a secondCircle.
That remember that.
We're gonna come back to that.
Watch In verse 28, in themessage it says this and God
blessed them and said prosper,woo, reproduce guys.
(08:41):
Woo.
Nothing, guys, man.
That's the weakest bunch ofguys in the room.
I don't love kids, I love mywife.
God says prosper, reproduce,fill the earth, take charge, be
(09:02):
responsible.
And that was that's what hetold them.
And in a world where Godcreated his people to be
(09:23):
responsible, guess how manyrules there were?
One, not 10, not 670, not NewTestament, new two, no one, one.
And that one was don't eat ofthe tree of the knowledge of
good and evil.
And I'm gonna just give you thereference because you know it,
(09:45):
it's all in your notes.
If you got the notes today fromRenee, it's there you can have
the scripture reference.
But you know God says don't eatfrom that tree.
And what happens?
Adam and Eve, they're like wegot it.
And then the enemy, the devil,falls from heaven and he gets in
the form of a serpent and hetempts Eve with this challenge
(10:09):
if you eat from this fruit, youwill be like God.
Hello Newsflash, we're made inhis image.
We're already like God.
So that was the first lie thatthe enemy told.
You don't have to havesomething to be like God.
(10:30):
You are like God because you'remade in his image.
But that doesn't mean you onlyget what you get, because God
gives you the direction to giveit Reproduce, prosper, take
charge, fill the earth, beresponsible, don't eat from that
tree.
And so we know that they eat.
(10:52):
They eat the fruit and Godshows up and God's like hey,
where are you?
I'm here for my evening walk.
The Bible says that God walkedwith Adam and Eve every evening.
Imagine that kind of closeness.
That's why 21 days of prayer isso important, because it gets
(11:13):
us into the position of it'slike we're walking with God
every single day in the garden,having a conversation, and he
wants to give us someinstruction and give us words of
wisdom and and help us when weneed to have spaces where we
take charge and fill the earthand prosper and reproduce and be
responsible.
And so god says where are you?
(11:35):
And and we know the story adamand eve were hiding.
And.
And they're hiding.
And God says well, why are youhiding?
And this is what Adam says.
He says, well, we were afraidbecause we noticed we were
unclothed.
What had happened is the veilof the holiness of God had
(11:58):
disappeared from their life.
And God said well, how did youknow that veil was gone?
Did you eat from the fruit, didyou?
And Adam's like well, god, lookat this, you gave me the woman.
If you wouldn't have given methat woman, I would have never
(12:21):
ate that fruit.
The woman If you wouldn't havegiven me that woman, I would
have never ate that fruit.
And you know what else, god,she gave me the fruit.
I want to say, like Adam, be aman, stand up and be responsible
, stand up, and you could havestopped that situation by being
the leader of your house.
(12:41):
But he's like no, god, you gaveme.
And then no, she gave me.
And then so God looks at Eveand he says what about it?
And you know what Eve says itwas the devil.
The devil made me do it.
And look at the direction thatwe cast our blame when we play
this game, the direction that wecast.
(13:02):
It goes in three areas we blameGod, we blame others or we
blame the devil.
It's never our fault.
We cannot be people that skirtthe responsibility and get
involved in the blame game.
We need to take responsibility,and I would let you know that
(13:25):
this is the situation, because Iwant to get to my notes and say
this the right way when we playthe blame game, we can't make
peace with our past or moveforward to a better future.
Oh, you'll move to your future,but it cannot be a better
future as long as you blameothers around you for where you
(13:47):
are at in your life.
So, if there's an area in yourlife that you're stuck in during
these 21 days, if you canmantle the strength to take
responsibility, you'll begin tomove forward, and this is what I
(14:08):
remember.
They taught this when we werekids.
When you point the blame atsomeone, you're sending one
finger of blame at them, butlook, you're pointing three back
at yourself, and that's wherewe need to lean in.
So are you tracking with me?
Let's keep moving.
So the first point I want tohelp you take responsibility in
(14:28):
the next few minutes.
I have Number one blame is thebasket that carries your issue
into your future.
Blame is the basket thatcarries your issues into your
future.
Blame is the basket thatcarries your issues into your
future, and what happens is iswe began to carry this issue
(14:54):
around with us.
We refuse to deal with it andwe want everybody to know that
we have issues.
Why else would we carry it?
So we're blaming others and wehave this laundry basket of
(15:15):
issues and dirty laundry that weair out and we're like well,
let me just tell you, this was,this, was so and so, and this
all came because of so and so.
And they might say, well, well,what about what about that
moment?
There he's like, yeah, that, no, that's not important.
It's that, that was me, butthat's not important.
This is, this is the one righthere.
(15:37):
And we, just we, we do that ineverything.
We're like if you only knewwhat so-and-so did, and all of
these, all of these, all of thisis because of what they,
whatever they said, and I just,yeah, but what about that little
spot?
Yeah, no, don't worry aboutthat, let's focus on what they
did.
And we carry our dirty laundrywith us and it prevents us from
(16:02):
moving into our future.
And we're so focused and here'swhat I know because we're
casting blame.
That also means we're pointingthe finger at others instead of
acknowledging hey, instead oflooking at everybody else's
dirty laundry, what have westarted?
To handle and do our ownlaundry?
(16:23):
That's why, moms, you need toteach your teenage sons to do
their laundry now, so they knowhow to do it.
It's easy.
It's easy to cast blame andcarry shame, and, and you know
(16:50):
what, when it comes to sin inour life, you know we, we can
cast blame and and what happensis we begin to carry the shame.
Why?
Because sin is what you do,guilt is what you feel and shame
is what you do.
Guilt is what you feel andshame is what you carry.
And look at this.
This is why it's easy.
It's easy to cast blame andcarry shame, although it's not
biblical.
It's easy to focus on someoneelse's issues than take
(17:13):
responsibility for your life.
Look what Jesus said Don't pickon people, jump on their
failures, criticize their faultsunless, of course, you want the
same treatment.
Come on, let's takeresponsibility.
Let's get our laundry and getit done.
When you ignore your issues,you end up carrying those same
(17:34):
things into that nextrelationship, into that next job
, into that next budget hey,into that next job, into that
next budget, hey, into that nextchurch.
You just carry the same thingbecause you refuse to deal with
it.
And I'm going to tell you likethe names and the faces may
(17:54):
change for you in those newplaces, but the issue remains
the same.
You got to deal with it beforeyou can move forward to a better
future.
Late in the 1800s, early 1900sin Europe, all throughout Europe
, there was a spread of adisease and it was called the
(18:18):
perpetual fever and others namedit the black death of childhood
.
And what would happen is,during childbirth, mothers
within a 48 hour time period,and about 70 to 80 percent of
moms after delivering theirchildren, they would get this
(18:40):
high fever and this disease, and70 to 80 percent of them would
die within just a few days.
And so everybody was perplexed.
They moved all through Europe,even over to America, and the
doctors were like well, we needto see what's going on.
And they were like we can'tfigure it out, we don't know, we
don't know.
And there was one doctor, um,mr holmes, dr holmes who said um
(19:05):
, I think I understand what itis, it's, it's, it's the doctors
, it's us, it's ourresponsibility.
And all the other doctors werelike no, it might be you, it's
not us, we're the doctors, we'vegot the training.
And he said, said no, listen.
He said this is what I've beennoticing is in the morning,
you're performing autopsies andthen in the afternoon, in the
(19:28):
same room, without sanitizingthe room and without washing
your hands, you're performingchildbirth, you're delivering
children, and if we would changeour practice, we would end that
disease.
And for 30 years, 30 years,doctors were like that's not on
us, there's no way this thing ison us.
(19:49):
And as soon as they changed thepractice to sanitize, to wash
their hands, the disease ended.
The lesson in this story is thisthe lesson is this Sometimes we
are the problem and we don'twant to admit it.
Like we are the problem, but wedon't want to admit it.
(20:16):
And I'm going to tell youchurch, for this to be your best
year ever this is the secondSunday of your best year ever
you're gonna have to learn totake responsibility for the
place that you're at right nowin your life, in every area.
So blame is the basket youcarry.
(20:37):
And number two blame forfeitsyour power to change.
As long as I cast blame, Icannot change, because what I'm
saying is I can only change ifthey change.
As soon as they change, thenI'll change and we even get into
(20:59):
the position of like God, willyou change them?
Help them change.
And God is like listen, I'llwork on them, but take
responsibility for where you'reat and you change.
It is the beginning.
That I can't change until theychange is the beginning of the
victim mentality.
It's not on me, it's everybodyelse.
(21:22):
As soon as everybody elsechanges, I'll do better.
I'll change.
Dr Edith Edgar.
She was a Holocaust survivorand a psychologist.
She said this we become our ownjailers when we choose the
confines of the victim's mind.
She goes on to say in myexperience, victims ask why me?
(21:44):
And survivors ask what now?
This is how Jesus said it.
Jesus said I have told youthese things so that in me you
may have peace In this world.
You will have trouble, but take, take heart.
I have overcome the world.
(22:05):
Jesus was telling us.
There's going to be things.
There's going to be things thatyou face.
Trouble is coming your way andit's coming your way.
But take heart because I'vealready overcome the world.
(22:26):
He's already accomplished thevictory for you and you don't
have to be a victim.
You can be an overcomer, butyou can't sit in the world of
why me.
You have to move into the worldof what now?
What now?
So let's move into that phase,that what now?
(22:48):
Stage.
Get away from the blame game.
When you take responsibilityfor your life, you have the
power to change your future.
I want to ask you two questionstoday.
I want to ask you two questionsbecause I think it's important
for us to work our way throughthis.
And the first question is thiswho are you blaming?
(23:12):
Who are you blaming?
Can I just stop for a minuteand just say I know in a room
this size there's probably someof you that have dealt with as a
child, physical, some of youthat have dealt with as a child
(23:34):
physical, mental, vocal abuseand especially physical abuse.
And I would say as a child.
Can I just tell you that wasnever your fault.
You had nothing.
There was nothing you did towarrant that terrible act on you
.
There was nothing you did towarrant that terrible act on you
.
You have no responsibility forwhat was done to you.
But you want to know where youhave responsibility, to be able
(24:01):
to move forward, takeresponsibility, to take a step
forward and say what now,instead of sitting in a space of
why me?
What about some of you others?
Who are you blaming?
I mean, when you get right downto it, you could say, well, my
parents told me not to go afterthat girl.
Or my pastor said don't go intothat situation.
(24:22):
Or my small group said that'snot the place for you to go hang
out.
Who are you blaming?
The second question is this whatarea of your life do you need
to take responsibility in anddeclare that from this day
(24:48):
forward, you're going to moveforward, no longer playing the
blame game, but takingresponsibility and thank the
Lord, moving into a what nowposition in your life?
Maybe let me just tell you,maybe you need counseling and
not pastoral counsel.
I'm happy to sit with you andcounsel with you, but I got
(25:11):
about this much experience Well,I got 30 years of doing it as a
pastor.
But I think sometimes in thechurch world we feel like we
can't go to a counselor because,well, I mean, I need a
spiritual advisor and you canfind a spiritual counselor, a
Christian counseling service.
(25:31):
In fact, if you need counseling, will you email me?
It's the easiest email in theworld, chuck at freechurch.
Email me and I'll send you alist of people that could
counsel you.
It's so important that couldcounsel you.
It's so important In the worstyears of our life.
(25:54):
Well, I'll share one year inparticular.
It was a year that the wholeworld seemed to be turning
against us and I found myselfstruggling in a space of am I a
good leader?
Is it me?
Am I like, am I doing the rightthing?
And and I was like I don't evenknow what what's happening.
(26:21):
I don't even know where to turn.
And one of my friends, out ofthe blue, called me and said hey
, you know I've been using thiscounselor.
Maybe you want to call him andI think it'd be good for you.
I feel like it was the HolySpirit that set that message up
to me and I reached out and Icalled him in the first session.
On the phone he was like tellme what's going on.
(26:42):
And I was like I'm just goingto share just a little bit.
I don't want to go too deep inthe first session.
I like leave some for the nextone.
Right, it's like I got a lot,so let me just start here the
easy stuff.
And the whole time, as I wasstarting, I was thinking of all
of the people that were to blamefor where I was at.
People did this, people saidthis, people acted like this.
(27:07):
And I started talking andtelling what was happening.
I got to a spot where I pausedand he just said Chuck, let me
just tell you, you're not theonly person that feels like this
, chuck, let me just tell you,you're not the only person that
feels like this.
But let me ask you, what areyou doing to move out of this
(27:31):
space?
What are you going to do tomove forward?
And he's like I'm going to giveyou three things.
And he gave me a book to read,he gave me some steps to take
and he gave me like a handful oflittle bits and pieces that I
could just kind of work out onmy own for a little bit, until
(27:53):
the next session.
And I was like okay, all right,and the whole time I was like
this and I hit that.
I was going to say I hung upthe phone but you don't hang up
phones anymore.
I hit the end call button.
All of a sudden I just it wasshocking Gushing tears.
I walked into the kitchen whereShana was and she's like yeah,
(28:18):
it was okay, but somethinghappened in that time of working
with with him and and it wasthis it was.
I learned that that I there's noway I would ever get out of
that space in my mind ofquestioning myself of, of all of
(28:41):
that, until I quit blaming thepeople that were around me.
I just had to takeresponsibility.
Here's where we're at.
There are some things out of mycontrol, but this is in my
control and what's in my controlI'm gonna make decisions on and
move forward, and that is thespace for us to close this
service on.
(29:01):
So I wanna, I wanna, I wanna askyou to make this declaration
let's move together, let's moveforward.
We're not on our own.
I'm going to pull this up onthe screen and I want us.
(29:21):
If you're ready, maybe justtake a minute, close your eyes,
let the Holy Spirit.
If you're ready, maybe justtake a minute, close your eyes,
let the Holy Spirit lead you fora second Commune with you Talk
to you.
Who are you blaming?
(29:44):
What area do you need to takeresponsibility in?
And I want you to feel the HolySpirit doing this.
This is what the Bible says inthe book of Isaiah when the
storm comes in like a flood, theHoly Spirit will raise up a
standard for your life and Iwant you to feel that standard
(30:06):
being lifted in your spiritright now.
That's the Holy Spirit.
You're like, well, I don'treally feel something, but I'm
gonna tell you it's happeningright now.
If you receive this power ofthe Holy Spirit to raise a
standard in your life, to helpyou take responsibility, and if
you're ready, I want you to openyour eyes and look to the
screens and I want you to saythis with me Are?
(30:27):
I want you to open your eyesand look to the screens and I
want you to say this with me Areyou ready?
Here we go this year.
With God's help and the powerof the Holy Spirit, I declare I
will take responsibility for mylife.
Never again will I blamesomeone else for where I am.
The buck stops with me.
Amen.
Can you receive that word today?
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