The Truth Behind Overreacting in Betrayal Trauma Recovery

If you’re the betrayed partner, you know what it’s like to be hit with waves of emotion that feel impossible to control. One moment you’re holding it together, and the next you’re flooded with anger, grief, or fear. You may even wonder if you’re too much—or if you’re going crazy for reacting so strongly.

And if you’re the recovering partner, you know how unsettling it is to face these storms. You want predictability, calm, and a path forward, but instead you feel powerless and defensive. Both of you are left asking: Why does this keep happening, and what are we supposed to do with it?

In this episode of From Crisis to Connection, Geoff and Jody pull apart this cycle so you can finally understand what’s really happening underneath these reactions. They explore:

• Why betrayed partners’ strong emotions are survival responses, not “overreactions”

• How shame fuels defensiveness and blame for the recovering partner

• Why this dynamic often gets mislabeled as a “marriage problem” instead of a betrayal issue

• The different responsibilities of each partner in recovery—and why they’re not the same

• How couples can begin to work with these emotions instead of against them

The key message: You’re not crazy—you’ve been through something crazy. These strong emotions are a normal, human response to relational trauma. And when both partners can understand and lean into this truth, healing and connection can begin.

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Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal

When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here.

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Join the Courageous Together™ Program

Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process.

You’ll have access to:

• A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance

• Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection

• The option to join live group circles and support calls with me

• A private, secure community of others walking the same path

Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together

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If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey.

Watch on YouTube

Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast.

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About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children.

About Jody Steurer: Jody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergen