May 1, 2023 • 53 mins
Granger Smith Podcast Episode 186: I see this so many times on my podcast where the person emailing might need to hear what we need to say more than the person they're asking about. Join my buddy Bernie and I as we talk about this topic and more on this week's podcast episode!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So what I'm gonna say that I don't want to
come across wrong is I don't think you are saved.
I don't think you're a Christian. Hey, welcome back to
(00:20):
the podcast, y'all, second week in a row, our friend,
the best guest ever besides Chad and Parker and Bernie Calcot,
Welcome back to the show. We answer your questions on
this show. If you have a question, Grangersmith podcast at
gmail dot com, and we answer it. And Bernie's on
(00:42):
here because he's really great at empathizing and thinking and
giving me a solid answer for things in my life.
So we're gonna we're gonna do our best. Like we're
sitting in the cap of a truck answering questions about
your life.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Not always right most of the time, honest, And we're
prepping for a live recording.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
So what do y'all think about that doing this live,
live podcast taping where you asked the questions in real time.
We're on a stage somewhere. Maybe we travel to a
few different cities and we answer your questions there. What
would y'all think about that? Would you show up? And
what city should we go to?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And would you be as honest in person as you are,
because there's some very honest, vulnerable questions that come through.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah anonymously, Yeah, anonymously.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So would you be willing to do it?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It would be awesome interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
How would you respond if you asked a question and
Granger just looked at you as like, dumper, what are
you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Let's move on, don't drink, quit it, stop it, okay?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
First question here?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
The subject line says goals, and it says, hey, Granger,
thanks for all you do. I am single and content,
but obviously would like to find a relationship. I'm wondering
as a single person if I find the right person.
Should that be treated as a goal as in something
you passively work towards daily, as in like a checklist,
(02:11):
like talk to a girl, talk to at least three girls,
ask for their number, actively spend time on dating site,
research qualities that will help me be attractive, etc. Or
is this just desperate in relation to leaning on God's
timing and waiting for the right person to show up
in my life without seeking them out at all? Thanks
(02:32):
David twenty or excuse me thirty one Arkansas PS.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Got a ticket to your Tulsa show?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Hot ticket Why are you grinning so much as.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
You read that question? Because I feel you.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I feel like you're looking at me while I'm reading. Oh,
and David is just I'm grinned because David is just
so honest and he's so sincere, and Dave wants to
David wants a girl.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think it's fair everything he's asking.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah, he is fair.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
He wants a girl, and he's sincere about that, and
he's willing to say, Unlike a lot of people, he's
willing to say, what's it gonna take?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I think I'm going to take it that David
is type a kind of like me. So I need
I need a list, I need a plan, I need
like a we need to be actively doing this. I
think my brain tends to maybe work the same way.
So I I think it's fair. I mean, I'm gonna
wait to hear what you say the advice to him.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Okay, sure, I at least David, I feel you, buddy.
All right, so Bernie, you could follow up. I'll just
kind of shoot from the hip here. You let me
let me ask. Let me look at two things.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
That you ask.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Basically, you asked, should I treat finding a person as
a goal that I work on daily like a checklist.
And then the second question you asked is or should
I just wait, lean on God's timing and wait for
the right person to show up without seeking them out.
(04:02):
Those are two opposite endes of the spectrum here, and
so I want to kind of point out first of all,
that you're not really thinking about middle ground here.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
You're asking two opposite questions, and I.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Think the answer in life always is in the middle
for everything, and you are you're kind of looking at
extremes and let me look at the God thing real quick.
Leaning on God's timing and waiting for the right person
to show up without seeking them is not biblical in
the sense that the Bible is always going to give
us humans a responsibility of something to do. So there's
(04:38):
always through every command that through through all of God's
sovereignty meaning his total control, his providence meaning his understanding
of the future, and in our lives and everything and
every hair on our head and every day that we
have left on our life, there's also a sense of
responsibility that we we have on top of that providence
(05:02):
to respond, to act, to follow, to stand up, to
take up your mat and and follow So, so we
know for a fact that sitting waiting on God and
not doing anything is wrong.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
The opposite is wrong.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Too, saying God, I'm gonna take this into my own
hands and handle all of this. Okay, So where's the middle?
Where's the middle? How How do we as a mature
Christian responsibly handle the middle ground? Where we trust, we believe,
and we also act as a response to our belief.
(05:41):
We act with our responsibility as a response of the grace. Okay,
that could be applied to everything in your life, including
finding a girl.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
So you believe that you.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Believe, not that there's a girl, or not that you
will be married or you will have but you believe
that God has a purpose for your life. And there's
a there's a good chance that that purpose is is
going to include a girl. But not it's not, it's
not exactly true. You just know that He has a
(06:15):
purpose for you in some way. So you trust that first,
and you go, God, I'm gonna lean on you, I'm
gonna trust you. I'm gonna read your word, I'm gonna study,
I'm gonna surround myself with wi It's counsel. I'm gonna
implant myself in a church. I'm gonna become a member.
I'm gonna become actively involved in the church. I'm gonna
I'm gonna be in a small group. I'm gonna be
with other men. I'm gonna be learning and soaking in
(06:36):
as they teach me, as I dive into your word.
And then and then I'm gonna when I'm doing that,
I'm gonna also be cognizant of my desires around me.
Like do I see a girl throwing this out? I
see a girl at the grocery store, and I see
her there every Monday, and I'm really attracted to her,
(06:57):
and I'm also really into God's world right now, then
I would pay attention that God puts desires in her
heart like that gives us the desires of her heart,
as in gives us new wants and desires. And so
we paid and then we act on that. We act
on the girl in the grocery store, and we say, hey,
I see you here every Monday in the vegetable aisle.
(07:18):
I like cantalope too. I thought that was funny. I'm sorry,
I'm a little awkward, but I live down the street.
I noticed you walk here. Maybe one day, we can
grab coffee or something.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I mean, that's acting on.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
God's providence because of your trust.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
And I'm gonna stop and let Bernie go.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
No, I think everything you're saying is right on. I'm
gonna I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I
have this analogy or metaphor whatever you want to say,
but it may be absolutely terrible, but I'm gonna throw
it out there anyway. So but I know there's people listening,
like to fish, right, So let's say we go out
to fish, and we decide to put some peanut butter
(08:03):
and jelly sandwiches on our hook. We put it out there. Okay,
we're gonna catch maybe some seaweed, not much, right, but
then we have some live bait. Put that on there.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I think what Granger's saying is, if you the dating
apps and things that you can take into your your
own control to try to force, this is gonna be
the peanut butter and jelly sandwich you're putting on your hook.
You're not gonna catch anything, and if you do catch anything,
it's not gonna be what you want. But if you
are just trying your best to be obedient, stay in
God's word and walk in the path each day he
(08:34):
has for you. He's gonnaly never say hey, put this
on your hook. Put it out there, and what you
catch is gonna be what you want.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
So yeah, I love David.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I love your type a personality, and you're gonna have
to put some live bait on that hook man, because
you were. I bet your peanut butter sandwich that you're
casting also has the crust cut off of it, like
perfectly in the squares.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Man, And I appreciate the effort.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
That looks cool if it's a brand new hook you
got at bass pro shops and you hooked it right
through the middle of that peanut butter in jail, and
it's probably like crunchy peanut butter, like perfectly measured out
and everything. The effort is amazing. It's really admirable, but
it ain't.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Gonna catch anything.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah. I think one thing you said just about aiming
for the middle, that's a good word for me, for everybody.
We tend to kind of see things polarized, but it's
like most of the time we need to kind of
think about the middle.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, So David, maybe aim towards the middle, Buddy, next question, guys,
let me just say this. I don't know what's coming
at me. We don't have notes in front of us.
We don't have like a list of famous quotes from
Abraham Lincoln or something that we're gonna throw out. You're
(09:49):
gonna hear these questions as I hear them, subject line
work life balance.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Hey, Grandeur.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
First off, like to say thank you for your example.
I have learned a lot from listening to your podcast
as well as other forms of media with you and
your family. Your podcast has really helped show me the
need for me to be daily reading my Bible in
order to grow my faith. Through that daily reading, it's
helped me grow tremendously. My question is this, it's about
(10:16):
work life balance. As a man of faith, I see
a need for me to be present in my home
to nurture my family. But I know it's awesome my
responsibility to provide for my family. My dad owns his
own business and always worked a lot to provide for us,
which I don't take for granted because he missed out
(10:38):
on a lot while we were growing up. My worry
is that if I follow in his footsteps, the same
will be true for me. I trust in God's plan
and pray for his guidance daily. But I want to
seek wise counsel as well. With all the things that
you have going on. Would you have some advice to
give on this? I look forward to hearing your answer.
For privacy reasons, I prefer to stay us. A great question, anonymous,
(11:05):
very very thoughtful question. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah, yeah, for sure. It sounds like his heart's in
the right spot.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I was at a was at a conference with Mark
Dever as he was speaking and people were asking questions
and he was answering questions recently, and somebody asked a question.
I don't remember what it was about, but Mark's answer was, brother,
if you're even asking that question, you're gonna be just fine.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah that's good.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
You know that's good. I said that to this guy.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, brother, if you're even thinking about this, you're gonna
be fine. You're gonna nurture your family, you're gonna be
a great dad, and you're gonna.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Provide for them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
It's the people that don't think through it that get
into the problem.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yeah, there's no right or wrong answer. It's no secret
sauce to this.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But yeah, I think practically, do we got time for break?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Sure? Go ahead?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I think practically just I think having some boundaries in
place ahead of time. If you're thinking about work life balance,
I think it's really good to be present and Grangeery
and I have talked about this a lot, just in
every moment possible, just being as present and here now
(12:18):
as we possibly can. But what that also means is
that you have set boundaries in place and provision for
your family that when you are at work you can
be completely present and doing the best work possible. There's
going to be so much value in that that you're
probably going to not have to work, you know, fifty
sixty hours a week in order to provide for your family.
(12:40):
I think that's something that we our culture as a
whole kind of like gets away from. We just think, oh,
I guess you got to work a lot, instead of like, well,
what if we did really quality, focused work in a
shorter amount of time and then we got to go
home and focus completely on our family. Both sides of
the coin are going to just gain a lot more
(13:04):
value and nurturing and provision from that. So if you
can set those boundaries in place now and then when
once you start to like kind of bump up against them,
have some accountability in somebody that knows like, hey, yeah,
this is this is what I put in place for
this reason, and maybe that means that I don't make
(13:25):
that bonus or I don't get that one projector and
that's okay. Yeah, like we have to we have to
like have contentment first and then make your your boundaries
around that and then try to stick to them. So
just some practical I don't know if it's helpful, man.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, the struggle what Bernie's saying, and the reason there's
no secret sauce to this, and it matters more of
your heart position to it. The reason we're saying that
is because your idea of providing for your family, or
your idea of time home with the family is it's
just not defined. It's just so subjective. For instance, if
(14:02):
you have a second grade education and you have two
felonies and you've served prison time and you're raising a
family post all this, and you get an offer for
really good money to go out on an oil rig
in the Gulf of Mexico for six months, you would
not at that point say, eh, I don't know, I
(14:23):
kind of like to be around my family. It's like, no, dude,
you're in a desperate situation. This is a great opportunity
for you. You need to take this opportunity to get
this good money, and you're gonna be gone. That's a
sacrifice you have to make in your situation. And the
same would be on the opposite, say you're doing really
well and you're continuing to work too hard and take
(14:43):
too many opportunities and you're not home enough. That would
be irresponsible the other way, right, And you could also
be irresponsible in a way that you're just home too
much and things are not getting paid for. So it's
just very nuanced. It's just not a right or wrong answer.
The heart is the most important. You want to be
(15:05):
present at work. You want to be president at home.
You want to make sure that you're raising a household
that understands that Dad has to work, because you don't
want to raise a house that thinks Dad's most important
priority is to not work and to be with me
and catch the football when I need to throw the football.
It's bad too, right, Just be careful you're thinking through this.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I love your question.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah, you're going to be all right.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah's hit another long fought battles to subject line and
it says I've been married for twelve years. My wife
came with two kids from a previous marriage. They are
now seventeen and nineteen. We have two younger kids together,
three and eight. She has struggled with mental health issues
for the past six years. It has caused our kids
(15:53):
to check out of their relationship and will certainly cause
our younger kids to eventually do the same. Have sought
godly counsel lower case G and we are now on
our fourth counselor. The counselors are all professionals. Most importantly,
they are there to help here and helped turn around
(16:13):
our marriage. She has gone as an individual and then
we would get together and tie things back together, so
to speak. Unfortunately, she's not made much of any progress.
She has ruined all of her relationships with her friends
as well. This has been sad for me as a
bystander to watch all this occur. It puts me in
(16:34):
a negative vibe in our household. I prayed for her
in everything that I can, but at the end of
the day, I cannot bridge the gap and make up
for what she lacks in our relationship or for our kids.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
What are your thoughts? Thanks for reading? Okay, so no.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Real question other than what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, just kind of respond to the situation here, married
twelve years, two kids from the previous marriage that are
in the upper teens, and then younger kids. Two younger
kids together. So the problem is looking like with the
older kids, it's really the question two older kids have
checked out and to two younger kids might do the same.
(17:18):
You're doing a lot if you're putting the work in
with these counselor things. You're on the fourth one, and
first thing I want to say to you, besides thanks
for your vulnerability, is the first thing I want to
say is I get it.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
These older kids have checked out. I get it.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Mom's got mental health. She remarried and had two more kids.
And I say this with the most respect to you.
Mom had two replacement kids. You know, Mom replaced us
with two kids with the new guy. All respect to you.
(17:59):
When I say that, I'm just kind of speaking from
a seventeen year old mind what that could look like.
Mom's a little crazy, She's in counseling all the time. Listen,
this needs to be said too. When you're seventeen and nineteen,
you're kind of checked out anyway. Let's not forget that
part of it. You could be a seventeen year old
(18:19):
checked out of a great home. So what I think
we should ask a question for him?
Speaker 3 (18:26):
What do you do? He didn't say that. What do
you do?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
If you're this guy in this situation, you're the stepdad
of two upper teens that have checked out, your wife's
having mental problems, You've gone through counselors, you've seen all
of her friends disappear, and you got two younger kids,
very vulnerable, ages three and eight.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, So a couple things jump out. First thing is
just a ton of like empathy and heartbreak. Man, I
hate that you're in this. I hate this for the
the mom, I hate it for the kids. Man, this
is just part of our broken world and having to,
you know, walk through these kind of really difficult, hard situations.
(19:12):
And so, man, I think grizz and I both kind
of heart breaks for you just having to sit in
this and recognize, just as humans in this world, what
we all have to endure, how nuanced it can be.
But also you know how similar we are. The second
thing that jumped out was these older kids have been
(19:32):
through divorce, and being someone that went through divorce, I
don't know if we recognize the trauma that that can cause.
I don't know how early in childhood that happened, and
I mean I guess it's at least eight years ago
if they have a three to eight year old, right, so,
(19:55):
which is a very you know, formative time for those kids.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Some math, they've been married for twelve the kids are seventeen, nineteen,
three and eight, so so yeah, that they got divorced
when the kids were five and seven.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, so I don't just speaking quickly before we you know,
get to you like, those those older kids probably need
a lot of love and a lot of attention and
a lot of grace if they've checked out, like Granger said, yeah,
(20:31):
I mean most of them do at that age. But
continuing to walk alongside them, especially as a stepdad, and
just be like and you know, sit in there in
there hurt with them, Like, man, I know that that
must have been hard to have your dad. If you've
never done that before, maybe you have, But yeah, like
(20:55):
I said, just being somebody that went through that, I
think that there is residual effects that they may not
even be aware of quite yet. And so if you
could just view them with that level of grace and
be able to maybe step into that, I think that
that would help. Especially if their mom is mentally not well,
(21:18):
she's probably not caring for them in that relationship in
a way.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Maybe.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
So when when did your parents get divorced?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
When were you Whenever? I was fourteen, but my dad
had left when I was nine, they separated.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
So did you have a checkout period in your life
for sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
It started at fourteen. Yeah, because my dad. I mean,
it's a little bit different. My dad had left and
whenever I was nine, and I thought like, okay, this
is they're separated whatever. But then he came back and
it was kind of like my parents got back together,
and I was like there was this hope and then
they satis down to games like I'm leaving this time
and it's for good, and then it was just like, okay,
(22:04):
well I'm I'm checking out for sure. So yeah, I
would say fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, all the way till
the Lord you know, got me at twenty one.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
So yeah, so the guy, so you anonymous, man, this
is not a. This is not a crazy, rare situation.
What we're seeing is just the natural result of the
fall of a broken marriage. And so let's just throw
out a couple of things that he can do. And
(22:35):
so I want to you mentioned God a few times,
you mentioned prayer a few times. I want to make
sure that you're plugged in to a good local church.
I love that you're emailing this podcast and you're seeking,
as you said, you know, counsel from us, but I
also want to see that not just from a counselor
(22:55):
from a like a counseling firm, or like an organization
that does counseling, but I want to see that happen
within the local church itself, because I believe it or not,
that's what they're there for, is to walk with their
congregation through life's difficult problems so that they're not alone.
They're not gonna always give you an answer, but they're
gonna walk with you and God.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
As we know that God.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Walks with us and is with us and is present
with us, do you know he uses human agency to
act that out many times. So, so when when your
congregation or your pastors, or your your your family members
or whoever is walking with you. That is a godly thing.
And so that's why a local church when they counsel you,
(23:41):
unlike some of these counselors from an agency, when your
local church is counseling through, they're actually walking. They know
where you came from, and they're they're walking with you
after it. So even when you stop the counseling, they're
still walking with you, and you see them and you
you have coffee with them, and you have you have
meals with them, and so you're not alone. Don't be
(24:03):
alone in this. Make sure you just keep talking about this.
And another thing to throw out is find a common
ground with the seventeen and nineteen year old. We said
this in the last podcast. Find something you probably won't
like it, but find something that they love and dig
into that. If it's NASCAR racing, or if it's video games,
(24:27):
or if it's the NFL, or if it's chess, it
doesn't matter. Find something they love and then that you're
in join them in that, and then start that community
with them through that, through that commonality of the video game,
through Fortnite or whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, one thing I'll mention that Granger just said but
didn't go into was pray, like, just continue to pray
like I have seen in my life. I know Grangeer
has seen situations that can look like this. And if
you are just diligent in bringing it before God. Diligent
(25:08):
not just oh yeah, I'm gonna pray about that letter, No,
but like sit in the stillness with God and beg
him and plead with him. Petition. I think your heart
gets changed. I think you start to hear the voice
of God and how to practically act these things out
a little clearer. And I think that you can see
(25:32):
His spirit work in these two older kids, in the
younger kids, and maybe a change in your wife's mental state.
If we just pray to a God that hears us
and wants to draw near and show mercy. So just pray.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I do
believe it's like one of the most powerful things that
(25:54):
we have and that we can do.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
So let me take that thought prayer. Okay, we're gonna
take a break because we're out of time on the cameras.
We're gonna get right back because I want you, I
want you to expound and I want to say one
more thing involving that I think it's really important to
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Speaker 3 (28:02):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
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Speaker 3 (28:07):
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lowest price guaranteed. All right, getting back into this podcast
(28:32):
and kind of just finishing a thought from the last question,
and we were talking about there was this situation where, uh,
there's a there's a stepdad and he's got a couple
of teenage kids that have checked out, two younger kids together.
The wife is she's struggling with mental health issues, and
we're talking about plugging into the local church we're talking about.
(28:53):
Bernie was talking about praying and how the power of
prayer and so there's one more thing out kind of
on an app to this, and that is Bernie's so right.
We typically use prayer as like the last thing, like
I've done everything I can and I've even prayed, instead
of using that as what the Bible would tell us
(29:13):
is that is our first.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Thing we do. I've been studying James in the.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Bible, the brother of our Lord, the step brother. By
the way, and he was known I read in a
commentary he was known as having They called him old
camel knees because his knees were so worn and leathery,
because he was always on his knees praying. Wow, isn't
that crazy?
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Like?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh, if I could one day be called old camel knees, Like, Oh, Granger,
that dude is always.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
On his knees.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Man, Like if that if the brother of Jesus was
prayed so much that his knees were worn out and leathery,
what did he know? If anyone knew anything about prayer
on the mortal level, don't you think it would be
someone that lived and grew up with that man grew
(30:03):
up with Jesus? What does that say for us? Martin Luther,
I'm gonna kind of just say this loosely. Martin Luther,
the Old Reformer said, quoted loosely something like, I am
so busy, it's gonna take me weeks to pray for
all this stuff. So what are we missing with this?
(30:25):
Here's my point. When Bernie brings up prayer and I
bring up local church, I would like to also combine
those two things and not forget that those things also
go together, and when you're talking to people and they
say how you doing and you say, I'm fine, man,
how are you And they're like, man, I'm good, cool, busy, cool,
me too, Okay bye.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
That is a normal conversation between two dudes.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
But what I need you to do, when I want
to encourage you to do, is to say, man, be
honest with you and struggling. It's been it's been a
little bit of a season for us. My wife is
she's been struggling, and I could appreciate your prayers if
you could pray for me and specifically for our two
(31:09):
kids or two step kids have kind of checked out.
They're seventeen and nineteen, and I'm worried about them, and
I could use your prayers. When I hear that, as
a Christian, when I hear that, my heart just kind
of flutters a little bit. It gets it kind of
enlarges a little bit because I feel like what I
hear is, hey, Granger, we're recruiting you to the army.
(31:31):
Would you come with us and fight this battle with us?
And I love that kind of language because I'm like, yes,
what are the name what are the names of the kids?
Give me seventeen nineteen. Sometimes, if I'm thinking about it,
I'll pull out my phone, give me their name seventeen nineteen,
and your wife, what's her name. I want to know
this stuff because then I want to be able to
go and I want in my prayer life because I
(31:51):
feel like I'm doing something as a Christian that I'm
called to do. Praying for others, praying for the well
being of others. It has nothing to do with me.
So don't be afraid to tell I'm speaking to all
Christians right now. Don't be afraid to tell your brothers
and sisters what's.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Going on in your life.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
There's a difference between self deprecation and depression and just
bringing people down with negativity.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
I'm not saying that.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I'm just saying, brother, I appreciate it if you could
say a few prayers from my grandpa. He hadn't been
doing too good and we're worried about grandma. Okay, Okay,
I'll pray for that tonight.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I think the depth of community just grows and grows
when you do that, the depth of relationship. When I'm
vulnerable enough to say like I did, like maybe earlier,
you know, for the podcast like, hey, man, struggling with this,
It's like you're inviting that person into a deeper relationship
(32:50):
you're sharing with him, like, hey, I trust you. And
I would say the majority of the time, the response
that you're going to get is let me join you
in that. Let me let me join you in that.
There's not going to be any you know, making fun
of you or like, oh we get it together.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
It's not going to be I guarantee you it's not
going to be like that. So you're gonna then be
able to enjoy just that feeling of community and that
feeling of okay perspective, not in this alone and grange
your nose. And he is advocating, He is interceding for me.
(33:29):
It's not just me. God, God hears us. So yeah,
I think you're.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Right on man, dude.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
It just opens up And I don't want to go
too far on this, because we could talk the whole
podcast just about this, but it goes so far because
then when I see you next week, I say, how's
your wife, how's the kids? Okay, you know, and we're
getting updates. And then it also opens my eyes in
the community of hey, did you know that that the
(33:57):
so and so company is hiring nineteen year olds.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Did you know that?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I just saw it, but I thought about your kids
because you mentioned they were kind of checked out, and
then I was praying for him. And then the other
day it's weird. I saw it we're hiring sign in
the window, and I thought about your kids. I thought maybe,
and maybe that's the thing, and then it triggers and
God works in that way, and then they call and
then they get a job, and then that's something they
become passionate.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
About and it changes everything. Just from you opening up
your prayer life.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
There's really nothing cooler in this life than feeling like
you are kind of caught up in something bigger than yourself.
I can't tell you how many times Granger, you know,
could probably attest to this. How many times I have
been praying for you and God just lays something on
(34:45):
me and I'm like, hey, Gris, I don't know what
this means, but man, I feel like you know this
is going on, or you tell me something. I was like, oh, man,
and you text me back or you call me or
we talk and you're like, bro, you have no idea.
I was like, I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
That's that's the coolest thing to be a part of.
To just feel like, man, there's something bigger working in
us that if we're just sensitive to the spirit and
advocating intercede for people. Sometimes he just gives us these
little you know, you know, easter eggs of like, hey,
you need to you need to text Johnny and uh
(35:25):
and just ask him specifically about this. And you do
that and he calls you immediately, I need to come
to your office and you sit and you talk to
him for an hour. That stuff happens. It does happen,
and it's something I wish I was a part of
more often. But I love being a part of it because,
like Granger said, you feel like you're a part of
this fight. You're you're you're locked arms with the spirit,
(35:49):
and uh, it's just really really cool.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
Love it, man, Let's go to the next question here.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh buddy, I think I just saw the time some
decline says judgment in heaven. Hey, Granger, my name is Tristan.
I'm twenty five from Kansas. Love the podcast, Love Your Music.
I learn more and more about God and the Bible
every day. But I recently had a conversation with a
relative about heaven. They claim there is no judgment in heaven,
(36:20):
so when a family member or a friend passes away,
they won't remember you as there is no positive or
negative judgment. I know, once you go to heaven you
are forgiven of your sins. But does that mean people
only remember the good things? Do they remember anything at all?
Just some thoughts of mine? Thank you well, Tristan. Let's
(36:41):
dive into this. Thank you for emailing. I appreciate you, brother, and.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Right at the top of this email you say I'm
learning more and more about God in the Bible every day.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Keep saying that, keep.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Saying that, Yeah, you are going to through this. Through
through your learning, you're going to run into a lot
of people that say a lot of things, relatives, TikTok whatever,
and you're gonna hear a lot of things about God
in the Bible. It's very important to not take that
(37:26):
as how you learn from a relative, or from social
media or from Google. But we learn things from the
Bible itself. It's very important to not rely not even
on devotionals. We could use them to supplement, but we
don't even rely on anything but the Word of God itself.
(37:47):
And then when you're doing that and you're feasting on that,
and you're reading that daily, you're going to see things
in there that answer questions that you didn't even know
that it was right there in front of you. For instance,
we can go a couple of different couple of ways
with your email. I don't I don't think this is
(38:10):
like a theology question. I don't think that's what this
is about. So I'm not going to dive into, you know,
the theology of heaven. I'm not. I'll just kind of
lightly brush over it. But you'll see things. For instance,
like you said, I know, once you go to heaven
you are forgiven of your sins. That's not true. You
(38:31):
say you know that, but that's not true. Your sins
are forgiven when you repent and believe in Jesus on earth.
Your sins can be forgiven today, much less when you
get to heaven today. Right now, by the time you die,
(38:51):
it's too late, it is too late to make these
kind of life changes. Right so, by the time you
get to heaven, the only the only people that will
be in Heaven are the ones that were forgiven on earth,
right does that make sense? But that's just that's very
simple Bible stuff. What's also kind of concerning, And it's
(39:15):
not really concerning because I know that you're learning and
you're wanting to grow, but but I want to kind
of show you here that your questions are these These
are like very universal type ideas, like everyone dies. Like
(39:36):
what I'm getting from your email is everyone dies, everyone
goes to heaven, everyone has no judgment once they're there,
positive or negative. And then where do we go? What's
where do we go from that?
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Yeah? What do we remember?
Speaker 3 (39:49):
That's not Bernie help me here? Where do you think
I'm trying not to get too deep? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Yeah, I think that the does he say his.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Age twenty five?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Okay, so we have a fully formed close to fully
formed brain that we're talking to here. I think you're
probably getting in some conversations with some people maybe a
little bit older, that are throwing a bunch of stuff
at you, and you don't really know how to defend
your faith and you don't really know what the Bible says.
(40:24):
So I think, like Granger said, like always be just studying,
just like we are studying and learning, because there's a
lot there. I did he have a question at the Bible.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
It's it's basically, once you get to heaven, your sins
are forgiven, he says, But does that mean you'll only
remember the good things or do you remember anything at all?
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah, So I think what Granger and I could say
here is probably I don't want to say irrelevant. But
you have to go and wrestle with this yourself. If
you're really gonna know, and you're really gonna learn, and
(41:12):
you're really gonna be convicted, I think you need to
go take the word, you need to study it. You
need to get connected with other believers, other non believers,
like be curious to have these conversations and wrestle wrestle
with the question. I think it's great that you're, you know,
(41:35):
emailing into the podcast and kind of getting getting some
feedback and some understanding. But I don't think that this
is a they're wrong, You're right, Here's here's where we
need to change the theology.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I think it's a lot broader of a question that
what best thing we can do is say, go find
out for yourself. Dig in and go find out for yourself. Yeah,
there's definitely some things here theologically that just are misunderstandings
or he's been told other things.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
But yeah, I want you to look up something, Tristan,
And it's not like you could look it up. And
there's one place I want you to read through in context,
meaning don't google averse. Please don't do that. Don't ever
google a verse and look and see if it applies
to your life. Instead, I want you to read in
context through the New Testament. Let's say you want to
(42:33):
start him in Matthew, start start in Matthew. It's going
to start with the genealogy of Christ or John, it's
going to start with creation. And I want you to
read through in context. And my question to you is
are you going to Heaven? Are you going?
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Do you have a ticket?
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Basically, that's what I'm asking And that's not for your
relative to answer. That's not for for a my podcast
to answer, that's not for Google to answer. That's for
John or Matthew or Mark or Luke or Romans or
anything in the New Testament really to answer. For you,
I want you to find that answer.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Are you going?
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Challenge you? I challenge you that, Tristan, and I challenge
you not to google it. This is why I say Google,
I was thinking about this this morning. The problem so
many times, especially today, is that it depends on this
is what I was thinking. Okay, tell me if I'm wrong.
I was thinking about this this morning my workout. It
depends on what lens we're looking through. So, say we
(43:37):
have glasses. You could put glasses on, and through that
lens you see things, and so so many times what
we want to do is we want to take the
lens of the world, our lives, our situations, our problems,
our community, our culture, and we put that those glasses on,
and then we want to read the Bible through our culture,
(44:01):
through our own problems, through who we are. We read
the Bible and we see the Bible through that lens.
But that's not what we're supposed to do. We're supposed
to put on the lens of the Bible. I was
thinking about this. The Bible are the lenses you put
those glasses on, and so when you see the world,
you're seeing it through the lens of the Bible. So
(44:21):
then you look at your problems you're suffering, your questions
about Heaven and judgment, your questions about sins, your questions
about oh what happens after you die. The questions about
everything pop culture, but you're always looking at that through
the lens of the Bible, not the other way around.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's good, That's really good.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
So be very careful.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
That's why I say put the lens of the Bible on,
put the glasses of the Bible.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
On, and then find out this answer. Are you going
to heaven? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Take Grainger's challenge and then email us back. Yeah, if
you're willing to. I mean, the thing is is like
it's not easy, like getting up early and studying and
taking this seriously. It is a serious matter, so I
think it should be.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
But it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
But I guarantee you if you take the challenge, I
would love to hear about your journey through it. Yeah,
what you discover about this question, but also just in
your own faith journey. But thanks for writing in.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Yes. Great.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Next question says brothers dead in combat. Hey grangeur My
brother is a US Air Force para rescue man PJ.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
And.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
On June ninth, twenty ten, helicopter Pedro sixty six was
shot down in Afghanistan on the way to rescue injured
soldiers on the battlefield. Two of his teammates died in
the crash. Their names were Benjamin White and Mike Flores.
He is still active duty and doesn't say much about combat.
He assures me everything is fine. A few times I
have seen him cry and vent about that day. We
(45:57):
my family try to console him with messages about the Lord,
et cetera. We were both raised Catholic, but I do
not think that he is a believer on the scale
like I am. He would reply with things like why
would God let my friends burn to death in a
helicopter crash? Is there anything you could offer him to
help understand why such events happen? I imagine you feel the
(46:21):
same pain as he does with the loss of river.
Thank you God, bless And is there not a name?
There's not a name? Call this call it, call it anonymous.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
How much time we got on this one?
Speaker 1 (46:37):
We got about six minutes, seven minutes, which is not
enough time for a question like that.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I think at the end he's asking like, do you
have anything for him? But I think, really what we
need to have is something for this guy. Ye brother
is probably not listening. Yeah, I don't know if we
have anything for him anyway.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
So yeah, yeah, I think that's great. I see that
so many times on this podcast. The person emailing might
need to hear what we need to say more than
the person they're asking about. And if at least it's
like the uh the idea on an airplane when you're
when the oxygen mask drop, put the mask on yourself first,
then your kids. So if because if you pass out,
(47:21):
you ain't helping anybody, right, So.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
One message to your brother from us is thank you
for your service. Like I can't imagine what he's put
himself through and just losing his brothers that way in combat,
And yeah, thank you for your service.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
Man.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Yeah, totally agree what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say something.
I say a lot of things on this podcast, and
not always they might not always come across as nice,
but I don't I don't need to be nice, and
it's like I'm not in the business of being nice.
I genuinely love you, man, and I feel your heart
(48:02):
in this email. You took so much time to write
about your brother because he's hurting and you're listening to
my podcast and you're just taking a shot like maybe
there's a chance Grange will read it, and maybe there's
a chance my brother can get help. So I love
you for that, man, I love your heart. So what
I'm gonna say that I don't want to come across
wrong is I don't think you are saved. I don't
(48:26):
think you're a Christian. And please don't take that the
wrong way, because I only mean it in a way
to help spur you and cultivate that ground that you're
standing on a little bit.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Because I think that's great and I think like you
can definitely, I think you got more to say. But
if you stop listening now, which is fine because you
heard what Granger said and you're like, ah ah, take
that question and go to your brother and you guys,
wrestle through that. He says that, I mean, be a Christian?
Speaker 3 (49:02):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (49:03):
And you, guys, like, start down that journey together. One.
There's going to be a lot of probably healing from
trauma in that that you'll get to wrestle through together.
But hopefully there is salvation on the other side of
it that you feel confident in and you actually know.
Speaker 1 (49:18):
So sorry, I just had no Yeah, that's great and
because and the part of the reason I get that
that feeling is you first of all being a Christian
is not how you were raised.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
And you said I was raised Catholic. But here's the key.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
But I do not think he is a believer on
the scale like I am. There is no scale of
being a believer. A we are all wretched sinners, rebels, undeserving,
saved by grace through faith. That's a Christian, undeserving. God
(49:50):
have mercy on me, a sinner. That's what the tax
collector said. And he was the one justified, not the
Pharisee that said, thank God, I'm not like him, thank
God he's not on my scale.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah, I wonder, I wonder what he I'm trying to
think of, like any other way that he could have
said that and meant that other than what you're saying
right now. I don't know how else other than a
you know, a scale that Catholicism will you know, kind
of lead you towards, which I think you just addressed.
(50:27):
I'm just thinking about if we do this live like
some of these follow up questions, what is that going to.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
Be like people not like me?
Speaker 1 (50:40):
Brother, I don't believe you're a Christian, and I don't
believe you're on any scale, and I don't believe you're
going to heaven.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
And I would wrestle with that.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
And I say that in a way that I hope
challenges you to go to the Word and go to
the cross, go to the foot of the cross, and
see your suffering savior on that cross, nailed to cross,
with blood coming down in a way that he was
so deformed he was unrecognizable as a human. And when
you look at why he did that, because me and you,
and Bernie and your brother here rebelled against him, and
(51:12):
all of humanity rebelled against Christ. And the only way
to reconcile us to him was to go to the
cross and sacrifice as the spotless lamb, the once and
for all final sacrifice for us to trade so that
he could pay, so that in full he could pay
the price of our wretchedness. And when you see that
(51:34):
for what it is, and when you see that the
wrath of God, the wrath of God that is upon
me and you, was satisfied through the Cross, through that sacrifice.
And when that wrath was satisfied, those that look upon
it and believe and turn away from their lives and
trust in it.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
Are saved.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
And I believe through your email that the wrath of
God is still upon you. As I say, seek him,
go to him, take on his mercy, see him on
the cross as that suffering savior. And when that happens
and you believe and you're saved, things will change also
(52:16):
for your brother, because when he sees that happen to you,
he will see things in a different light. He will
see death in a different way. Put the oxygen mask
on you first, and then your brother.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
That's what we got.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Love you guys, Amen, See you next time.
Speaker 3 (52:36):
See y.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I
appreciate all of you.
Speaker 3 (52:41):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a
question for me that you would like me to answer,
email Granger Smith Podcast a Gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Ye ki
Speaker 1 (53:09):
H
So what I'm gonna say that I don't want to
come across wrong is I don't think you are saved.
I don't think you're a Christian. Hey, welcome back to
(00:20):
the podcast, y'all, second week in a row, our friend,
the best guest ever besides Chad and Parker and Bernie Calcot,
Welcome back to the show. We answer your questions on
this show. If you have a question, Grangersmith podcast at
gmail dot com, and we answer it. And Bernie's on
(00:42):
here because he's really great at empathizing and thinking and
giving me a solid answer for things in my life.
So we're gonna we're gonna do our best. Like we're
sitting in the cap of a truck answering questions about
your life.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Not always right most of the time, honest, And we're
prepping for a live recording.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
So what do y'all think about that doing this live,
live podcast taping where you asked the questions in real time.
We're on a stage somewhere. Maybe we travel to a
few different cities and we answer your questions there. What
would y'all think about that? Would you show up? And
what city should we go to?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And would you be as honest in person as you are,
because there's some very honest, vulnerable questions that come through.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah anonymously, Yeah, anonymously.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So would you be willing to do it?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
It would be awesome interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
How would you respond if you asked a question and
Granger just looked at you as like, dumper, what are
you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Let's move on, don't drink, quit it, stop it, okay?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
First question here?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
The subject line says goals, and it says, hey, Granger,
thanks for all you do. I am single and content,
but obviously would like to find a relationship. I'm wondering
as a single person if I find the right person.
Should that be treated as a goal as in something
you passively work towards daily, as in like a checklist,
(02:11):
like talk to a girl, talk to at least three girls,
ask for their number, actively spend time on dating site,
research qualities that will help me be attractive, etc. Or
is this just desperate in relation to leaning on God's
timing and waiting for the right person to show up
in my life without seeking them out at all? Thanks
(02:32):
David twenty or excuse me thirty one Arkansas PS.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Got a ticket to your Tulsa show?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Hot ticket Why are you grinning so much as.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
You read that question? Because I feel you.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I feel like you're looking at me while I'm reading. Oh,
and David is just I'm grinned because David is just
so honest and he's so sincere, and Dave wants to
David wants a girl.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think it's fair everything he's asking.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah, he is fair.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
He wants a girl, and he's sincere about that, and
he's willing to say, Unlike a lot of people, he's
willing to say, what's it gonna take?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, I think I'm going to take it that David
is type a kind of like me. So I need
I need a list, I need a plan, I need
like a we need to be actively doing this. I
think my brain tends to maybe work the same way.
So I I think it's fair. I mean, I'm gonna
wait to hear what you say the advice to him.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Okay, sure, I at least David, I feel you, buddy.
All right, so Bernie, you could follow up. I'll just
kind of shoot from the hip here. You let me
let me ask. Let me look at two things.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
That you ask.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Basically, you asked, should I treat finding a person as
a goal that I work on daily like a checklist.
And then the second question you asked is or should
I just wait, lean on God's timing and wait for
the right person to show up without seeking them out.
(04:02):
Those are two opposite endes of the spectrum here, and
so I want to kind of point out first of all,
that you're not really thinking about middle ground here.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
You're asking two opposite questions, and I.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Think the answer in life always is in the middle
for everything, and you are you're kind of looking at
extremes and let me look at the God thing real quick.
Leaning on God's timing and waiting for the right person
to show up without seeking them is not biblical in
the sense that the Bible is always going to give
us humans a responsibility of something to do. So there's
(04:38):
always through every command that through through all of God's
sovereignty meaning his total control, his providence meaning his understanding
of the future, and in our lives and everything and
every hair on our head and every day that we
have left on our life, there's also a sense of
responsibility that we we have on top of that providence
(05:02):
to respond, to act, to follow, to stand up, to
take up your mat and and follow So, so we
know for a fact that sitting waiting on God and
not doing anything is wrong.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
The opposite is wrong.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Too, saying God, I'm gonna take this into my own
hands and handle all of this. Okay, So where's the middle?
Where's the middle? How How do we as a mature
Christian responsibly handle the middle ground? Where we trust, we believe,
and we also act as a response to our belief.
(05:41):
We act with our responsibility as a response of the grace. Okay,
that could be applied to everything in your life, including
finding a girl.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
So you believe that you.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Believe, not that there's a girl, or not that you
will be married or you will have but you believe
that God has a purpose for your life. And there's
a there's a good chance that that purpose is is
going to include a girl. But not it's not, it's
not exactly true. You just know that He has a
(06:15):
purpose for you in some way. So you trust that first,
and you go, God, I'm gonna lean on you, I'm
gonna trust you. I'm gonna read your word, I'm gonna study,
I'm gonna surround myself with wi It's counsel. I'm gonna
implant myself in a church. I'm gonna become a member.
I'm gonna become actively involved in the church. I'm gonna
I'm gonna be in a small group. I'm gonna be
with other men. I'm gonna be learning and soaking in
(06:36):
as they teach me, as I dive into your word.
And then and then I'm gonna when I'm doing that,
I'm gonna also be cognizant of my desires around me.
Like do I see a girl throwing this out? I
see a girl at the grocery store, and I see
her there every Monday, and I'm really attracted to her,
(06:57):
and I'm also really into God's world right now, then
I would pay attention that God puts desires in her
heart like that gives us the desires of her heart,
as in gives us new wants and desires. And so
we paid and then we act on that. We act
on the girl in the grocery store, and we say, hey,
I see you here every Monday in the vegetable aisle.
(07:18):
I like cantalope too. I thought that was funny. I'm sorry,
I'm a little awkward, but I live down the street.
I noticed you walk here. Maybe one day, we can
grab coffee or something.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I mean, that's acting on.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
God's providence because of your trust.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
And I'm gonna stop and let Bernie go.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
No, I think everything you're saying is right on. I'm
gonna I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I
have this analogy or metaphor whatever you want to say,
but it may be absolutely terrible, but I'm gonna throw
it out there anyway. So but I know there's people listening,
like to fish, right, So let's say we go out
to fish, and we decide to put some peanut butter
(08:03):
and jelly sandwiches on our hook. We put it out there. Okay,
we're gonna catch maybe some seaweed, not much, right, but
then we have some live bait. Put that on there.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I think what Granger's saying is, if you the dating
apps and things that you can take into your your
own control to try to force, this is gonna be
the peanut butter and jelly sandwich you're putting on your hook.
You're not gonna catch anything, and if you do catch anything,
it's not gonna be what you want. But if you
are just trying your best to be obedient, stay in
God's word and walk in the path each day he
(08:34):
has for you. He's gonnaly never say hey, put this
on your hook. Put it out there, and what you
catch is gonna be what you want.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
So yeah, I love David.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
I love your type a personality, and you're gonna have
to put some live bait on that hook man, because
you were. I bet your peanut butter sandwich that you're
casting also has the crust cut off of it, like
perfectly in the squares.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Man, And I appreciate the effort.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
That looks cool if it's a brand new hook you
got at bass pro shops and you hooked it right
through the middle of that peanut butter in jail, and
it's probably like crunchy peanut butter, like perfectly measured out
and everything. The effort is amazing. It's really admirable, but
it ain't.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Gonna catch anything.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah. I think one thing you said just about aiming
for the middle, that's a good word for me, for everybody.
We tend to kind of see things polarized, but it's
like most of the time we need to kind of
think about the middle.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, So David, maybe aim towards the middle, Buddy, next question, guys,
let me just say this. I don't know what's coming
at me. We don't have notes in front of us.
We don't have like a list of famous quotes from
Abraham Lincoln or something that we're gonna throw out. You're
(09:49):
gonna hear these questions as I hear them, subject line
work life balance.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Hey, Grandeur.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
First off, like to say thank you for your example.
I have learned a lot from listening to your podcast
as well as other forms of media with you and
your family. Your podcast has really helped show me the
need for me to be daily reading my Bible in
order to grow my faith. Through that daily reading, it's
helped me grow tremendously. My question is this, it's about
(10:16):
work life balance. As a man of faith, I see
a need for me to be present in my home
to nurture my family. But I know it's awesome my
responsibility to provide for my family. My dad owns his
own business and always worked a lot to provide for us,
which I don't take for granted because he missed out
(10:38):
on a lot while we were growing up. My worry
is that if I follow in his footsteps, the same
will be true for me. I trust in God's plan
and pray for his guidance daily. But I want to
seek wise counsel as well. With all the things that
you have going on. Would you have some advice to
give on this? I look forward to hearing your answer.
For privacy reasons, I prefer to stay us. A great question, anonymous,
(11:05):
very very thoughtful question. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah, yeah, for sure. It sounds like his heart's in
the right spot.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
I was at a was at a conference with Mark
Dever as he was speaking and people were asking questions
and he was answering questions recently, and somebody asked a question.
I don't remember what it was about, but Mark's answer was, brother,
if you're even asking that question, you're gonna be just fine.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah that's good.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
You know that's good. I said that to this guy.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, brother, if you're even thinking about this, you're gonna
be fine. You're gonna nurture your family, you're gonna be
a great dad, and you're gonna.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Provide for them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
It's the people that don't think through it that get
into the problem.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yeah, there's no right or wrong answer. It's no secret
sauce to this.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But yeah, I think practically, do we got time for break?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Sure? Go ahead?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I think practically just I think having some boundaries in
place ahead of time. If you're thinking about work life balance,
I think it's really good to be present and Grangeery
and I have talked about this a lot, just in
every moment possible, just being as present and here now
(12:18):
as we possibly can. But what that also means is
that you have set boundaries in place and provision for
your family that when you are at work you can
be completely present and doing the best work possible. There's
going to be so much value in that that you're
probably going to not have to work, you know, fifty
sixty hours a week in order to provide for your family.
(12:40):
I think that's something that we our culture as a
whole kind of like gets away from. We just think, oh,
I guess you got to work a lot, instead of like, well,
what if we did really quality, focused work in a
shorter amount of time and then we got to go
home and focus completely on our family. Both sides of
the coin are going to just gain a lot more
(13:04):
value and nurturing and provision from that. So if you
can set those boundaries in place now and then when
once you start to like kind of bump up against them,
have some accountability in somebody that knows like, hey, yeah,
this is this is what I put in place for
this reason, and maybe that means that I don't make
(13:25):
that bonus or I don't get that one projector and
that's okay. Yeah, like we have to we have to
like have contentment first and then make your your boundaries
around that and then try to stick to them. So
just some practical I don't know if it's helpful, man.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, the struggle what Bernie's saying, and the reason there's
no secret sauce to this, and it matters more of
your heart position to it. The reason we're saying that
is because your idea of providing for your family, or
your idea of time home with the family is it's
just not defined. It's just so subjective. For instance, if
(14:02):
you have a second grade education and you have two
felonies and you've served prison time and you're raising a
family post all this, and you get an offer for
really good money to go out on an oil rig
in the Gulf of Mexico for six months, you would
not at that point say, eh, I don't know, I
(14:23):
kind of like to be around my family. It's like, no, dude,
you're in a desperate situation. This is a great opportunity
for you. You need to take this opportunity to get
this good money, and you're gonna be gone. That's a
sacrifice you have to make in your situation. And the
same would be on the opposite, say you're doing really
well and you're continuing to work too hard and take
(14:43):
too many opportunities and you're not home enough. That would
be irresponsible the other way, right, And you could also
be irresponsible in a way that you're just home too
much and things are not getting paid for. So it's
just very nuanced. It's just not a right or wrong answer.
The heart is the most important. You want to be
(15:05):
present at work. You want to be president at home.
You want to make sure that you're raising a household
that understands that Dad has to work, because you don't
want to raise a house that thinks Dad's most important
priority is to not work and to be with me
and catch the football when I need to throw the football.
It's bad too, right, Just be careful you're thinking through this.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I love your question.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah, you're going to be all right.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah's hit another long fought battles to subject line and
it says I've been married for twelve years. My wife
came with two kids from a previous marriage. They are
now seventeen and nineteen. We have two younger kids together,
three and eight. She has struggled with mental health issues
for the past six years. It has caused our kids
(15:53):
to check out of their relationship and will certainly cause
our younger kids to eventually do the same. Have sought
godly counsel lower case G and we are now on
our fourth counselor. The counselors are all professionals. Most importantly,
they are there to help here and helped turn around
(16:13):
our marriage. She has gone as an individual and then
we would get together and tie things back together, so
to speak. Unfortunately, she's not made much of any progress.
She has ruined all of her relationships with her friends
as well. This has been sad for me as a
bystander to watch all this occur. It puts me in
(16:34):
a negative vibe in our household. I prayed for her
in everything that I can, but at the end of
the day, I cannot bridge the gap and make up
for what she lacks in our relationship or for our kids.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
What are your thoughts? Thanks for reading? Okay, so no.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Real question other than what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, just kind of respond to the situation here, married
twelve years, two kids from the previous marriage that are
in the upper teens, and then younger kids. Two younger
kids together. So the problem is looking like with the
older kids, it's really the question two older kids have
checked out and to two younger kids might do the same.
(17:18):
You're doing a lot if you're putting the work in
with these counselor things. You're on the fourth one, and
first thing I want to say to you, besides thanks
for your vulnerability, is the first thing I want to
say is I get it.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
These older kids have checked out. I get it.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Mom's got mental health. She remarried and had two more kids.
And I say this with the most respect to you.
Mom had two replacement kids. You know, Mom replaced us
with two kids with the new guy. All respect to you.
(17:59):
When I say that, I'm just kind of speaking from
a seventeen year old mind what that could look like.
Mom's a little crazy, She's in counseling all the time. Listen,
this needs to be said too. When you're seventeen and nineteen,
you're kind of checked out anyway. Let's not forget that
part of it. You could be a seventeen year old
(18:19):
checked out of a great home. So what I think
we should ask a question for him?
Speaker 3 (18:26):
What do you do? He didn't say that. What do
you do?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
If you're this guy in this situation, you're the stepdad
of two upper teens that have checked out, your wife's
having mental problems, You've gone through counselors, you've seen all
of her friends disappear, and you got two younger kids,
very vulnerable, ages three and eight.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, So a couple things jump out. First thing is
just a ton of like empathy and heartbreak. Man, I
hate that you're in this. I hate this for the
the mom, I hate it for the kids. Man, this
is just part of our broken world and having to,
you know, walk through these kind of really difficult, hard situations.
(19:12):
And so, man, I think grizz and I both kind
of heart breaks for you just having to sit in
this and recognize, just as humans in this world, what
we all have to endure, how nuanced it can be.
But also you know how similar we are. The second
thing that jumped out was these older kids have been
(19:32):
through divorce, and being someone that went through divorce, I
don't know if we recognize the trauma that that can cause.
I don't know how early in childhood that happened, and
I mean I guess it's at least eight years ago
if they have a three to eight year old, right, so,
(19:55):
which is a very you know, formative time for those kids.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Some math, they've been married for twelve the kids are seventeen, nineteen,
three and eight, so so yeah, that they got divorced
when the kids were five and seven.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, so I don't just speaking quickly before we you know,
get to you like, those those older kids probably need
a lot of love and a lot of attention and
a lot of grace if they've checked out, like Granger said, yeah,
(20:31):
I mean most of them do at that age. But
continuing to walk alongside them, especially as a stepdad, and
just be like and you know, sit in there in
there hurt with them, Like, man, I know that that
must have been hard to have your dad. If you've
never done that before, maybe you have, But yeah, like
(20:55):
I said, just being somebody that went through that, I
think that there is residual effects that they may not
even be aware of quite yet. And so if you
could just view them with that level of grace and
be able to maybe step into that, I think that
that would help. Especially if their mom is mentally not well,
(21:18):
she's probably not caring for them in that relationship in
a way.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Maybe.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
So when when did your parents get divorced?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
When were you Whenever? I was fourteen, but my dad
had left when I was nine, they separated.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
So did you have a checkout period in your life
for sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
It started at fourteen. Yeah, because my dad. I mean,
it's a little bit different. My dad had left and
whenever I was nine, and I thought like, okay, this
is they're separated whatever. But then he came back and
it was kind of like my parents got back together,
and I was like there was this hope and then
they satis down to games like I'm leaving this time
and it's for good, and then it was just like, okay,
(22:04):
well I'm I'm checking out for sure. So yeah, I
would say fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, all the way till
the Lord you know, got me at twenty one.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
So yeah, so the guy, so you anonymous, man, this
is not a. This is not a crazy, rare situation.
What we're seeing is just the natural result of the
fall of a broken marriage. And so let's just throw
out a couple of things that he can do. And
(22:35):
so I want to you mentioned God a few times,
you mentioned prayer a few times. I want to make
sure that you're plugged in to a good local church.
I love that you're emailing this podcast and you're seeking,
as you said, you know, counsel from us, but I
also want to see that not just from a counselor
(22:55):
from a like a counseling firm, or like an organization
that does counseling, but I want to see that happen
within the local church itself, because I believe it or not,
that's what they're there for, is to walk with their
congregation through life's difficult problems so that they're not alone.
They're not gonna always give you an answer, but they're
gonna walk with you and God.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
As we know that God.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Walks with us and is with us and is present
with us, do you know he uses human agency to
act that out many times. So, so when when your
congregation or your pastors, or your your your family members
or whoever is walking with you. That is a godly thing.
And so that's why a local church when they counsel you,
(23:41):
unlike some of these counselors from an agency, when your
local church is counseling through, they're actually walking. They know
where you came from, and they're they're walking with you
after it. So even when you stop the counseling, they're
still walking with you, and you see them and you
you have coffee with them, and you have you have
meals with them, and so you're not alone. Don't be
(24:03):
alone in this. Make sure you just keep talking about this.
And another thing to throw out is find a common
ground with the seventeen and nineteen year old. We said
this in the last podcast. Find something you probably won't
like it, but find something that they love and dig
into that. If it's NASCAR racing, or if it's video games,
(24:27):
or if it's the NFL, or if it's chess, it
doesn't matter. Find something they love and then that you're
in join them in that, and then start that community
with them through that, through that commonality of the video game,
through Fortnite or whatever.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, one thing I'll mention that Granger just said but
didn't go into was pray, like, just continue to pray
like I have seen in my life. I know Grangeer
has seen situations that can look like this. And if
you are just diligent in bringing it before God. Diligent
(25:08):
not just oh yeah, I'm gonna pray about that letter, No,
but like sit in the stillness with God and beg
him and plead with him. Petition. I think your heart
gets changed. I think you start to hear the voice
of God and how to practically act these things out
a little clearer. And I think that you can see
(25:32):
His spirit work in these two older kids, in the
younger kids, and maybe a change in your wife's mental state.
If we just pray to a God that hears us
and wants to draw near and show mercy. So just pray.
I know it doesn't sound like much, but I do
believe it's like one of the most powerful things that
(25:54):
we have and that we can do.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
So let me take that thought prayer. Okay, we're gonna
take a break because we're out of time on the cameras.
We're gonna get right back because I want you, I
want you to expound and I want to say one
more thing involving that I think it's really important to
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(28:32):
and kind of just finishing a thought from the last question,
and we were talking about there was this situation where, uh,
there's a there's a stepdad and he's got a couple
of teenage kids that have checked out, two younger kids together.
The wife is she's struggling with mental health issues, and
we're talking about plugging into the local church we're talking about.
(28:53):
Bernie was talking about praying and how the power of
prayer and so there's one more thing out kind of
on an app to this, and that is Bernie's so right.
We typically use prayer as like the last thing, like
I've done everything I can and I've even prayed, instead
of using that as what the Bible would tell us
(29:13):
is that is our first.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Thing we do. I've been studying James in the.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Bible, the brother of our Lord, the step brother. By
the way, and he was known I read in a
commentary he was known as having They called him old
camel knees because his knees were so worn and leathery,
because he was always on his knees praying. Wow, isn't
that crazy?
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Like?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh, if I could one day be called old camel knees, Like, Oh, Granger,
that dude is always.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
On his knees.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Man, Like if that if the brother of Jesus was
prayed so much that his knees were worn out and leathery,
what did he know? If anyone knew anything about prayer
on the mortal level, don't you think it would be
someone that lived and grew up with that man grew
(30:03):
up with Jesus? What does that say for us? Martin Luther,
I'm gonna kind of just say this loosely. Martin Luther,
the Old Reformer said, quoted loosely something like, I am
so busy, it's gonna take me weeks to pray for
all this stuff. So what are we missing with this?
(30:25):
Here's my point. When Bernie brings up prayer and I
bring up local church, I would like to also combine
those two things and not forget that those things also
go together, and when you're talking to people and they
say how you doing and you say, I'm fine, man,
how are you And they're like, man, I'm good, cool, busy, cool,
me too, Okay bye.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
That is a normal conversation between two dudes.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
But what I need you to do, when I want
to encourage you to do, is to say, man, be
honest with you and struggling. It's been it's been a
little bit of a season for us. My wife is
she's been struggling, and I could appreciate your prayers if
you could pray for me and specifically for our two
(31:09):
kids or two step kids have kind of checked out.
They're seventeen and nineteen, and I'm worried about them, and
I could use your prayers. When I hear that, as
a Christian, when I hear that, my heart just kind
of flutters a little bit. It gets it kind of
enlarges a little bit because I feel like what I
hear is, hey, Granger, we're recruiting you to the army.
(31:31):
Would you come with us and fight this battle with us?
And I love that kind of language because I'm like, yes,
what are the name what are the names of the kids?
Give me seventeen nineteen. Sometimes, if I'm thinking about it,
I'll pull out my phone, give me their name seventeen nineteen,
and your wife, what's her name. I want to know
this stuff because then I want to be able to
go and I want in my prayer life because I
(31:51):
feel like I'm doing something as a Christian that I'm
called to do. Praying for others, praying for the well
being of others. It has nothing to do with me.
So don't be afraid to tell I'm speaking to all
Christians right now. Don't be afraid to tell your brothers
and sisters what's.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Going on in your life.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
There's a difference between self deprecation and depression and just
bringing people down with negativity.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
I'm not saying that.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I'm just saying, brother, I appreciate it if you could
say a few prayers from my grandpa. He hadn't been
doing too good and we're worried about grandma. Okay, Okay,
I'll pray for that tonight.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I think the depth of community just grows and grows
when you do that, the depth of relationship. When I'm
vulnerable enough to say like I did, like maybe earlier,
you know, for the podcast like, hey, man, struggling with this,
It's like you're inviting that person into a deeper relationship
(32:50):
you're sharing with him, like, hey, I trust you. And
I would say the majority of the time, the response
that you're going to get is let me join you
in that. Let me let me join you in that.
There's not going to be any you know, making fun
of you or like, oh we get it together.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
It's not going to be I guarantee you it's not
going to be like that. So you're gonna then be
able to enjoy just that feeling of community and that
feeling of okay perspective, not in this alone and grange
your nose. And he is advocating, He is interceding for me.
(33:29):
It's not just me. God, God hears us. So yeah,
I think you're.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Right on man, dude.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
It just opens up And I don't want to go
too far on this, because we could talk the whole
podcast just about this, but it goes so far because
then when I see you next week, I say, how's
your wife, how's the kids? Okay, you know, and we're
getting updates. And then it also opens my eyes in
the community of hey, did you know that that the
(33:57):
so and so company is hiring nineteen year olds.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Did you know that?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I just saw it, but I thought about your kids
because you mentioned they were kind of checked out, and
then I was praying for him. And then the other
day it's weird. I saw it we're hiring sign in
the window, and I thought about your kids. I thought maybe,
and maybe that's the thing, and then it triggers and
God works in that way, and then they call and
then they get a job, and then that's something they
become passionate.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
About and it changes everything. Just from you opening up
your prayer life.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
There's really nothing cooler in this life than feeling like
you are kind of caught up in something bigger than yourself.
I can't tell you how many times Granger, you know,
could probably attest to this. How many times I have
been praying for you and God just lays something on
(34:45):
me and I'm like, hey, Gris, I don't know what
this means, but man, I feel like you know this
is going on, or you tell me something. I was like, oh, man,
and you text me back or you call me or
we talk and you're like, bro, you have no idea.
I was like, I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
That's that's the coolest thing to be a part of.
To just feel like, man, there's something bigger working in
us that if we're just sensitive to the spirit and
advocating intercede for people. Sometimes he just gives us these
little you know, you know, easter eggs of like, hey,
you need to you need to text Johnny and uh
(35:25):
and just ask him specifically about this. And you do
that and he calls you immediately, I need to come
to your office and you sit and you talk to
him for an hour. That stuff happens. It does happen,
and it's something I wish I was a part of
more often. But I love being a part of it because,
like Granger said, you feel like you're a part of
this fight. You're you're you're locked arms with the spirit,
(35:49):
and uh, it's just really really cool.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
Love it, man, Let's go to the next question here.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh buddy, I think I just saw the time some
decline says judgment in heaven. Hey, Granger, my name is Tristan.
I'm twenty five from Kansas. Love the podcast, Love Your Music.
I learn more and more about God and the Bible
every day. But I recently had a conversation with a
relative about heaven. They claim there is no judgment in heaven,
(36:20):
so when a family member or a friend passes away,
they won't remember you as there is no positive or
negative judgment. I know, once you go to heaven you
are forgiven of your sins. But does that mean people
only remember the good things? Do they remember anything at all?
Just some thoughts of mine? Thank you well, Tristan. Let's
(36:41):
dive into this. Thank you for emailing. I appreciate you, brother, and.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Right at the top of this email you say I'm
learning more and more about God in the Bible every day.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Keep saying that, keep.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Saying that, Yeah, you are going to through this. Through
through your learning, you're going to run into a lot
of people that say a lot of things, relatives, TikTok whatever,
and you're gonna hear a lot of things about God
in the Bible. It's very important to not take that
(37:26):
as how you learn from a relative, or from social
media or from Google. But we learn things from the
Bible itself. It's very important to not rely not even
on devotionals. We could use them to supplement, but we
don't even rely on anything but the Word of God itself.
(37:47):
And then when you're doing that and you're feasting on that,
and you're reading that daily, you're going to see things
in there that answer questions that you didn't even know
that it was right there in front of you. For instance,
we can go a couple of different couple of ways
with your email. I don't I don't think this is
(38:10):
like a theology question. I don't think that's what this
is about. So I'm not going to dive into, you know,
the theology of heaven. I'm not. I'll just kind of
lightly brush over it. But you'll see things. For instance,
like you said, I know, once you go to heaven
you are forgiven of your sins. That's not true. You
(38:31):
say you know that, but that's not true. Your sins
are forgiven when you repent and believe in Jesus on earth.
Your sins can be forgiven today, much less when you
get to heaven today. Right now, by the time you die,
(38:51):
it's too late, it is too late to make these
kind of life changes. Right so, by the time you
get to heaven, the only the only people that will
be in Heaven are the ones that were forgiven on earth,
right does that make sense? But that's just that's very
simple Bible stuff. What's also kind of concerning, And it's
(39:15):
not really concerning because I know that you're learning and
you're wanting to grow, but but I want to kind
of show you here that your questions are these These
are like very universal type ideas, like everyone dies. Like
(39:36):
what I'm getting from your email is everyone dies, everyone
goes to heaven, everyone has no judgment once they're there,
positive or negative. And then where do we go? What's
where do we go from that?
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Yeah? What do we remember?
Speaker 3 (39:49):
That's not Bernie help me here? Where do you think
I'm trying not to get too deep? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Yeah, I think that the does he say his.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Age twenty five?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Okay, so we have a fully formed close to fully
formed brain that we're talking to here. I think you're
probably getting in some conversations with some people maybe a
little bit older, that are throwing a bunch of stuff
at you, and you don't really know how to defend
your faith and you don't really know what the Bible says.
(40:24):
So I think, like Granger said, like always be just studying,
just like we are studying and learning, because there's a
lot there. I did he have a question at the Bible.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
It's it's basically, once you get to heaven, your sins
are forgiven, he says, But does that mean you'll only
remember the good things or do you remember anything at all?
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah, So I think what Granger and I could say
here is probably I don't want to say irrelevant. But
you have to go and wrestle with this yourself. If
you're really gonna know, and you're really gonna learn, and
(41:12):
you're really gonna be convicted, I think you need to
go take the word, you need to study it. You
need to get connected with other believers, other non believers,
like be curious to have these conversations and wrestle wrestle
with the question. I think it's great that you're, you know,
(41:35):
emailing into the podcast and kind of getting getting some
feedback and some understanding. But I don't think that this
is a they're wrong, You're right, Here's here's where we
need to change the theology.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I think it's a lot broader of a question that
what best thing we can do is say, go find
out for yourself. Dig in and go find out for yourself. Yeah,
there's definitely some things here theologically that just are misunderstandings
or he's been told other things.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
But yeah, I want you to look up something, Tristan,
And it's not like you could look it up. And
there's one place I want you to read through in context,
meaning don't google averse. Please don't do that. Don't ever
google a verse and look and see if it applies
to your life. Instead, I want you to read in
context through the New Testament. Let's say you want to
(42:33):
start him in Matthew, start start in Matthew. It's going
to start with the genealogy of Christ or John, it's
going to start with creation. And I want you to
read through in context. And my question to you is
are you going to Heaven? Are you going?
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Do you have a ticket?
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Basically, that's what I'm asking And that's not for your
relative to answer. That's not for for a my podcast
to answer, that's not for Google to answer. That's for
John or Matthew or Mark or Luke or Romans or
anything in the New Testament really to answer. For you,
I want you to find that answer.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Are you going?
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Challenge you? I challenge you that, Tristan, and I challenge
you not to google it. This is why I say Google,
I was thinking about this this morning. The problem so
many times, especially today, is that it depends on this
is what I was thinking. Okay, tell me if I'm wrong.
I was thinking about this this morning my workout. It
depends on what lens we're looking through. So, say we
(43:37):
have glasses. You could put glasses on, and through that
lens you see things, and so so many times what
we want to do is we want to take the
lens of the world, our lives, our situations, our problems,
our community, our culture, and we put that those glasses on,
and then we want to read the Bible through our culture,
(44:01):
through our own problems, through who we are. We read
the Bible and we see the Bible through that lens.
But that's not what we're supposed to do. We're supposed
to put on the lens of the Bible. I was
thinking about this. The Bible are the lenses you put
those glasses on, and so when you see the world,
you're seeing it through the lens of the Bible. So
(44:21):
then you look at your problems you're suffering, your questions
about Heaven and judgment, your questions about sins, your questions
about oh what happens after you die. The questions about
everything pop culture, but you're always looking at that through
the lens of the Bible, not the other way around.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's good, That's really good.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
So be very careful.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
That's why I say put the lens of the Bible on,
put the glasses of the Bible.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
On, and then find out this answer. Are you going
to heaven? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Take Grainger's challenge and then email us back. Yeah, if
you're willing to. I mean, the thing is is like
it's not easy, like getting up early and studying and
taking this seriously. It is a serious matter, so I
think it should be.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
But it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
But I guarantee you if you take the challenge, I
would love to hear about your journey through it. Yeah,
what you discover about this question, but also just in
your own faith journey. But thanks for writing in.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Yes. Great.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Next question says brothers dead in combat. Hey grangeur My
brother is a US Air Force para rescue man PJ.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
And.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
On June ninth, twenty ten, helicopter Pedro sixty six was
shot down in Afghanistan on the way to rescue injured
soldiers on the battlefield. Two of his teammates died in
the crash. Their names were Benjamin White and Mike Flores.
He is still active duty and doesn't say much about combat.
He assures me everything is fine. A few times I
have seen him cry and vent about that day. We
(45:57):
my family try to console him with messages about the Lord,
et cetera. We were both raised Catholic, but I do
not think that he is a believer on the scale
like I am. He would reply with things like why
would God let my friends burn to death in a
helicopter crash? Is there anything you could offer him to
help understand why such events happen? I imagine you feel the
(46:21):
same pain as he does with the loss of river.
Thank you God, bless And is there not a name?
There's not a name? Call this call it, call it anonymous.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
How much time we got on this one?
Speaker 1 (46:37):
We got about six minutes, seven minutes, which is not
enough time for a question like that.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I think at the end he's asking like, do you
have anything for him? But I think, really what we
need to have is something for this guy. Ye brother
is probably not listening. Yeah, I don't know if we
have anything for him anyway.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
So yeah, yeah, I think that's great. I see that
so many times on this podcast. The person emailing might
need to hear what we need to say more than
the person they're asking about. And if at least it's
like the uh the idea on an airplane when you're
when the oxygen mask drop, put the mask on yourself first,
then your kids. So if because if you pass out,
(47:21):
you ain't helping anybody, right, So.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
One message to your brother from us is thank you
for your service. Like I can't imagine what he's put
himself through and just losing his brothers that way in combat,
And yeah, thank you for your service.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
Man.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Yeah, totally agree what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say something.
I say a lot of things on this podcast, and
not always they might not always come across as nice,
but I don't I don't need to be nice, and
it's like I'm not in the business of being nice.
I genuinely love you, man, and I feel your heart
(48:02):
in this email. You took so much time to write
about your brother because he's hurting and you're listening to
my podcast and you're just taking a shot like maybe
there's a chance Grange will read it, and maybe there's
a chance my brother can get help. So I love
you for that, man, I love your heart. So what
I'm gonna say that I don't want to come across
wrong is I don't think you are saved. I don't
(48:26):
think you're a Christian. And please don't take that the
wrong way, because I only mean it in a way
to help spur you and cultivate that ground that you're
standing on a little bit.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Because I think that's great and I think like you
can definitely, I think you got more to say. But
if you stop listening now, which is fine because you
heard what Granger said and you're like, ah ah, take
that question and go to your brother and you guys,
wrestle through that. He says that, I mean, be a Christian?
Speaker 3 (49:02):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (49:03):
And you, guys, like, start down that journey together. One.
There's going to be a lot of probably healing from
trauma in that that you'll get to wrestle through together.
But hopefully there is salvation on the other side of
it that you feel confident in and you actually know.
Speaker 1 (49:18):
So sorry, I just had no Yeah, that's great and
because and the part of the reason I get that
that feeling is you first of all being a Christian
is not how you were raised.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
And you said I was raised Catholic. But here's the key.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
But I do not think he is a believer on
the scale like I am. There is no scale of
being a believer. A we are all wretched sinners, rebels, undeserving,
saved by grace through faith. That's a Christian, undeserving. God
(49:50):
have mercy on me, a sinner. That's what the tax
collector said. And he was the one justified, not the
Pharisee that said, thank God, I'm not like him, thank
God he's not on my scale.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah, I wonder, I wonder what he I'm trying to
think of, like any other way that he could have
said that and meant that other than what you're saying
right now. I don't know how else other than a
you know, a scale that Catholicism will you know, kind
of lead you towards, which I think you just addressed.
(50:27):
I'm just thinking about if we do this live like
some of these follow up questions, what is that going to.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
Be like people not like me?
Speaker 1 (50:40):
Brother, I don't believe you're a Christian, and I don't
believe you're on any scale, and I don't believe you're
going to heaven.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
And I would wrestle with that.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
And I say that in a way that I hope
challenges you to go to the Word and go to
the cross, go to the foot of the cross, and
see your suffering savior on that cross, nailed to cross,
with blood coming down in a way that he was
so deformed he was unrecognizable as a human. And when
you look at why he did that, because me and you,
and Bernie and your brother here rebelled against him, and
(51:12):
all of humanity rebelled against Christ. And the only way
to reconcile us to him was to go to the
cross and sacrifice as the spotless lamb, the once and
for all final sacrifice for us to trade so that
he could pay, so that in full he could pay
the price of our wretchedness. And when you see that
(51:34):
for what it is, and when you see that the
wrath of God, the wrath of God that is upon
me and you, was satisfied through the Cross, through that sacrifice.
And when that wrath was satisfied, those that look upon
it and believe and turn away from their lives and
trust in it.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
Are saved.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
And I believe through your email that the wrath of
God is still upon you. As I say, seek him,
go to him, take on his mercy, see him on
the cross as that suffering savior. And when that happens
and you believe and you're saved, things will change also
(52:16):
for your brother, because when he sees that happen to you,
he will see things in a different light. He will
see death in a different way. Put the oxygen mask
on you first, and then your brother.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
That's what we got.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Love you guys, Amen, See you next time.
Speaker 3 (52:36):
See y.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I
appreciate all of you.
Speaker 3 (52:41):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a
question for me that you would like me to answer,
email Granger Smith Podcast a Gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Ye ki
Speaker 1 (53:09):
H
Host
Granger Smith
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