Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

When Captain Batel’s last chance is a rare blossom from inside the restricted zone, Captain Pike and Dr. M’Benga shuttle down to a spooky garden center. But after a Klingon hunting party finds them and they fight off the flora together, only a warrior’s sacrifice can get the away team back to the ship. What’s bound to get old to a ghost? Why do Klingons hate flowers? How is Dr. M’Benga like the Raisin Bran sun? It’s the episode tha...

When Spock plans a grand romantic gesture for Nurse Chapel’s return, he’s surprised to learn their break led to sharing quarters with Dr. Corby. But after a leprechaun bartender spikes Spock's drink, Corby is sent to the proverbial cuck chair. How do you choose the tracklist for the most fucked-up mix tape? What kind of lists are Ben and Adam on? Which is better: snaps or jazz hands? It’s the episode that asks the stripper to sign ...

When Captain Pike is frozen in his battle armor, the Entrepreneur’s only means of escape is ramming speed. But after dangling on a cliff for almost two years, Captain Batel’s backside undergoes an emergency babality. Why do we remember Valeo Beta V? What does the Gorn feeding chamber not have? How do you know when a name is really back? It’s the episode where the line gets drawn HERE and then also a little further.

Support the produ...

When Ben and Adam let an FoD select a film for them to review, they are unsure what they'll get. But after they learn they'll be covering the third movie in a franchise, which is also a prequel, they slap on some fentanyl patches and do their best to keep quiet. Should you go from jack-off to marionnette or from marionnette to jack-off? What's the best way to destroy a bridge? Are squeakquels rodent specific? It’s the episode that'...

When the show’s most frequent guest returns for an impromptu job interview, we learn that hope springs eternal and the ideas list for Season 3 just keeps scrolling. But while Ben and Adam enjoy the bitter tannins of the world’s very last Prodigy interview, Waltke finally explains who reins supreme as Prodigy’s Barnus Franks. What would actually cause Murf to explode? Which whale can get it? Where does Waltke go for his technical in...

When it’s time for the ultimate episode of Prodigy, Wesley is shitting bricks and the Loom is attacking Solum. But after the cadets make it through the wormhole and close the time loop, they’re called back into action to defy Admiral Jellicoe one more time. What’s the contingency plan for a whale on the fritz? Is there an unspoken requirement of being a Starfleet captain? Who‘s the best Academy roommate? It’s the episode with a mis...

When the cadets split up to counter Asencia’s attack, the mathletes figure out how to make a pretty new wormhole while Dal gets the clock tower rigged for a lightning strike. But after Gwyn faces Asencia to reclaim her heirloom, the Loom shows up to block to the hole back to Tars Lamora. Can a single word can set a boundary? Which ancient symbol is both misunderstood and inspiring? What’s the whole point of Prodigy season2? It’s th...

When Asencia tries to lure Admiral Janeway into a trap, the kids learn the collared murder panther they’re afraid of wants to escape too. But when Dr. Mark plays dress up and civil war breaks out on Solum, the crew is reunited just in time for the finale. How is Star Trek Podcasting like a Pez dispenser? What’s a young man’s game? When will Ben and Adam die permanently? It’s the episode that doesn’t really feel sad about the lonely...

When the protégés get an undercover mission to Solum, they don’t have Starfleet’s cover if they’re caught snooping around on the surface. But when they meet a pre-bad Asencia and immediately trust her completely, Gwyn’s decision to split up the team throws Wesley’s future calculations off. How is Seattle better than New York City? What does El Salvador have that Rura Penthe doesn’t? Who’s leaving bodies in the rocks? It’s the episo...

When Voyager A is dead in the water and Protostar is the only ship that can help, Asencia fires a time weapon that pierces the hull and ages Commander Tyssis. But when Zero volunteers to Steve Zahn so they can take out the deathnok ship, Maj’El leads the fighter pilots to victory and Jankom Pog gets Zero some upgrades. How do you know if you’ve got Adam or a Chameloid? What’s the most popular metal band in Italy? Who taught Picard ...

When Jellico orders Janeway and Chakotay back to Earth, Gwyn gets a call from Solum and Asencia starts attacking. But after the crew splits up and Voyager can’t figure our where to shoot, we finally learn why Wesley hasn’t been helping out lately. What’s Ben’s cigar and whiskey? How did Chakotay work out a winning strategy with Janeway? Which magazine proves that print isn’t dead? It’s the episode that’s filling in the adult blanks...

When proto-warp cracks the universe’s cocaine mirror, the kids arrive back at Voyager to find a ship shattered into different realities. But when Jamie Lee Janeway and Goatee Chakotay learn about the Loom the hard way, Gwyn and her armband set everything right for a happy reunion. What can we expect out of Prodigy Season 3? When do kids become Steve Zahn appropriate? Where did Maj’El disappear to? It’s the episode that presents the...

When a dustbuster club heads out in search of bosonite, they find scary tribbles that bite and a Klingon scientist to make fun of. But when their missions align and Rok-Tahk’s mistake ends up saving the day, the cadets leave yet another character behind as they set a course back to Voyager A. What’s not even wrong with Ben this time? How many lies does it take to make a web? Where does a Star Trek podcaster keep their joke Derringe...

When Chakotay and the cadets decide to A-Team the Protostar, they sail it towards a dangerous storm to collect the deuterium they need to go fast. But when Dal fails on ship-steering duty and starts to question his future, Chakotay encourages him to explore a different career path that sends them both overboard. Who thinks a lot about the Shinzon Incident? How is this story like an evening in Nashville? Which Prodigy character is D...

When the cadets find themselves marooned with a very grumpy Chakotay, Holo Janeway has to convince him not to let them die outside. But when the kids start to gain his trust and Dal goes missing, the search and rescue mission turns into a funeral cruise for birdman. What have the scientists stopped making? Why can’t Adreek be buried in a Jewish cemetery? Is there a first rule of ship wreck? It’s the episode that’s only functioning ...

When the Loom starts attacking Gary Seven’s office, Voyager’s away team beams down to a Tarsem Singh situation. But when Dal brings Maj’El into the quantum equation, Wesley’s calculations open a hole that tank-top Janeway allows the cadets to go through. Which TV show do sick kids need today? Whose phone has been disconnected? What’s both embarrassing and tragic? It’s the episode that’s frozen in primal fear.

Support the production ...

When the kids finally arrive at the coordinates only to find Wesley Crusher instead of the Protostar, there’s no time to answer the many questions he raises. But when he helps them escape the space panthers and takes them to Gary Seven’s apartment, Janeway defies Jellico’s orders and arrives in search of the cadets. What’s the best place to confront LeVar Burton? Who is the reason for the season? Which character has part one promis...

When Zero’s broken-suit lifestyle leads to a telepathic cold call, the kids agree to a side quest so they can get their Medusan friend all fixed up. But when an impulsive decision to go straight for long green body leads to a thrilling chase through some flowers, Zero ultimately decides to stick with the dance partners that brought them and leave Lobster Fest behind. What’s Star Trek’s version of “are you gonna eat that?” Which mid...

When Jankom Pog clogs up the Infinity, getting to Chakotay’s nebula faster means flying through a Borg conduit. But when they’re pulled out of the green tunnel by a Kazon Maje, Zero’s heroics lead to a broken suit. Who wouldn’t have a problem on Hot Ones? Which script is the USS Infinity’s registry printed in? When is a foosball table like a starship? It’s the episode that could never ride transit backwards.

Support the production o...