When someone dies, our relationship with them doesn't just disappear. Sometimes the relationship changes in ways we never expected, allowing us to feel closer to them than we did when they were alive. This can leave us learning to grieve not just for what we had, but for what never got the chance to have with them. In this episode we talk with Never Faull about grieving for their father, who died in 2018 from cirrhosis of the liver. Nev shares how their relationship with their father was distant during his life and how they've found ways to create a deeper connection with him after his death. We also discuss what it was like for Nev, who came out as trans six months after their dad dies, to navigate grieving while also celebrating a new unfolding in their identity.
Topics we discuss:
- Navigating grief in complex parent-child relationships
- The impact of undiagnosed autism on family connections
- Creating meaning and relationship after death
- The symbols and rituals that help Nev feel a connection with their dad's presence
- Queer and trans grief resources
Never Faull is a queer and trans, disabled, autistic BIPOC writer, photographer, facilitator, and grief tender based in Portland. they explore the intersections of memory, identity, and mourning in their creative work. their current project, The Dead Dad Camera Club, started with the camera their dad left behind, and has become a way to navigate grief through photos and storytelling.
Resources Mentioned
- The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller
- Queer Grief Club run by Jamie Thrower
- Dead Dad Camera Club newsletter
- Grief Out Loud contact: griefoutloud@dougy.org
- The Dougy Center website: dougy.org
This episode is the first in our 2025 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation. We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving.
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