Matt Bair Talks Road To Recovery And Traffic Downtown This Coming Weekend

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Hammer and Nigel show man.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
I feel like it's a Friday. My name is Nigel.
Jason Hammer is here also a special guest live in studio.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
So Matt Bear joins us normally on Fridays. But if
we're on the road, especially at a bar, Matt tell
me if you think this is overreacting on my behalf.
I feel like it's inappropriate to you to come on
and talk about supporting sobriety. If we're broadcasting from a
bar where we're promoting a drink special.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
I don't want to break everybody down with uh with
my sobriety talk to her the road show. That's perfectly accurate. Yeah,
I think that's great.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
But I love your stories. That's why we wanted you
in here today.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Oh yeah, thank you for having me.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
And I'm not just blowing smoke up your rear end here.
The word respect, I'm not just blowing vape up your rend.
The word respect gets thrown around a lot, and in
this industry, in the radio industry, Nige and I have
been doing this since we were eighteen years old in
this city, give or take a few other pit stops,
but for the most part we've been inde since each

(01:02):
of us were eighteen. I'm forty eight today. Very few
people can I say I respect you fall into that
category because you put yourself out there, if it's embarrassing,
if you've had a rock bottom low, you come on
this show and you talk about it because you want
to help other people.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah, that is correct, and thank you for the kind
words everybody. It's a case where you know, you do something,
you go through something hell to get to heaven, and
by sharing that story you can help others. And that's all.
It is the shame that I used to have. And
you know we're talking. I'm recovering now Kyolic an addict,
and we have a podcast called Supporting Sobriany and with

(01:41):
that we talked to the caregiver of people like me
and my partner, right Hedrick, the people we tormented through
our youth. So you know, if you can reach one person,
that's what it is, if you can reach one person.
And thanks to you guys having me on, there are
actually a couple of people I'm talking to right now
and helping out. I'm taking a call tonight out when
I get off work about fifteen. And yeah, it's a
person that lives in Texas all the way in Texas,

(02:03):
they listened to the station. They listen to the podcast.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Isn't that wild? It's crazy you have a conversation about
so many people around the country listen to this show,
The Hammer and Nigel Show. We've got people at Tennessee,
in Florida, at California and Texas that tune in because
whether they have ties to Indiana or not, they like
the way that we present the information.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
It's so badass. It's such a blessing. And this evening,
this guy will and I will talk a little bit
about our alcoholism, and after that we're just going to talk,
because that's what recovery is about, just talking. You know,
his dudes, we don't We don't like to be vulnerable.
We don't like to get naked. Maybe not the word
I want to do. I'm sorry, I love to be naked.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Can I be asked with you?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
You said something before that I don't like and I'm
meant to bring up we just didn't have time. The
last time we were talking about alcoholics and addicts in relapsing,
you said something to the effect of, if I have
a relapse, I'm not coming back from that. I didn't
like that. And here's why, because you can come back

(03:10):
from that. And this is from my perspective I'm projecting
if you ever relapsed, and I know, and maybe you
can expand on what you were talking about when you
said that. I don't like that thinking because because you
could get back on the you know, you could get
right back up and pick yourself up again and start

(03:31):
all over again.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
I'm very happy you brought that up.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
I'm just I really that stuck with me when you
said that a couple of weeks ago and we didn't
have time to talk about it. I don't know even
know if you really remember know what I'm talking about,
But you said you wouldn't live past that or survive that,
and I don't like that way of thinking. No, you know,

(03:55):
you get up, you're shamed, you go back into rehab
and do the same things. Am I wrong?

Speaker 1 (04:01):
No, you're not wrong at all. And that's what you do.
That's what recovery is. Coming back from recovery over and
over again. Is some of the past some of us take,
and that's unfortunate, but it is true. We do relapse.
I was speaking for my own experience on that, which
is all I can do. When we talk about recovery.
I don't claim to be an expert at anything. I
know what my experience is with my alcoholism. I remember, guys,

(04:22):
and I told.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
You, well, I mean you're an expert at recovery.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah. Sure, I trust you.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
More than anybody that hasn't gone through it.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Absolutely, And that's why I love working with Ryan so much.
As he compliments my weaknesses on this podcast. Yeah, Ryan
Hedrick har morning anchor, and we really compliment each other. Well.
I was thinking, and I still think about this, and
I talk to people in recovery about this. That day
that I left work, left here doing traffic WIBC, when
I was drunk as a monkey. I always used to say,

(04:51):
through my alcoholism and doing traffic when I'm drunk, the
words will still come. You're good enough at this, you
know the roads well enough, you know the map, the
words will come. Until that day the words didn't come anymore.
And that's when I picked up my bag and I
said goodbye. The newsroom was full. John Herrick was there,

(05:11):
I believe, I think Kurt was there. Madison McGill, Chris Davis,
Hilott was there, and they were all there. And I
said goodbye, and then I took my bag with a
half bull of vodka and I went down to my
car and I got in and I drove home.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Did it take a realization from yourself or was it
your boss yelling at you? Because Matt, let's be honest.
I remember one of the rock bottom lows that you had.
You were on our air. You were drunk doing a
traffic report, Nige and I kind of knew it. It
was pretty bad. And then we got a phone call

(05:47):
like into the hotline here off the air, where one
of our bosses was like, you've got to get Matt
off the air.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Like interesting, I didn't know that, And I'm.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
May be telling you this for the first time. If
that's the case, that's the case, Let's do it.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Let's get it.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
I think you can understand. Did it take a realization
from yourself or one of your bosses saying until you
get right, you can't do this job again.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
It was a combination. On that day that I left
and I went right on New York Street going back
to Mass Avenue to my apartment. It was so surreal
because how I remember the I wasn't a blackout drunk,
It's drunk CAUs I was I always. You may have
to remind me, but I remember everything. I made this
right onto the one way in New York Street. It

(06:30):
was so quiet, it was here quiet, and I remember
thinking to myself, how much money do you have left
to pay your rent? How much money do you have
left to buy vodka over the next thirty days. Jeez,
I call that and it's not my expression, and I
can't say where I got it from, but it's called
going to the bitter end, and knowing you're going to
the bitter end. That's what happens when an alcoholic in
recovery dies in use. It's going to the bitter end.

(06:53):
And that's what I was thinking of. That's what I
was planning. Now here's what happened. Somebody here, I have
a nine who it is, but I can't confirm it
because I've never asked a fact as it just happened.
Somebody here called the cops. So when I get home, okay,
and I cannot remember this was morning, your evening rush.
I believe it was evening because there was a knock
at the door and the cops were there, and I

(07:17):
was just sobliterated. Yeah, before they got there, I was
just pulling off this bottle like a madman. I had
to hit my hand, you know. I was drinking straight
from the bottle like you know, it was just going down.
There was no It was just I was just dowsing
myself with alcohol, even more drunk than what I normally was.
And I invite the comps and we have a conversation
to the best of my ability, and basically they were saying, no,

(07:38):
we're not going to leave without you because there was
a suicide watch here. So they cuffed me and take
me out of the apartment. Yeah, they cuffed me, take
me out of the apartment, and take me to a
hospital where I was in detox. And you know when
you're on Yeah, yeah, you have to go.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Was it accurate, like, were you in danger of harming yourself?

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I was ready to go to the bitter and again
with that, in other words, I was ready to drink
myself to death. That was the plan. At some point
I would succumb. I gave myself maybe a month and
a half, two months before I'd be completely gone. I mean,
my liver was just sticking out of my stomach almost
it was so protruded, and my whole and you could
feel in your pancreas and you have sorry about the

(08:19):
detail hemorrhoids just in these patches of I mean, I
was getting close to expiration. What a change made? Well,
thank you and God bless change, because it do look
like that anymore. Right.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
I feel so bad that you are in so much
better shape than I am. Right now, I'm trying to
do everything. I still in bybe Matt, and I hope
that doesn't make you upset. I still have beverages, but man,
I go to the gym like I'm drinking this stupid
big bottle of water that I drink multiple big bottles

(08:52):
every day. I'm trying to do everything right, and damn it,
you still look a hundred times better.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
You guys have lost a ton of weight. You're taking
care of yourselves. I'm happy for both of you, and
it's a privilege to be on here doing this today.
But I bring these stories up, and I tell these
stories because I remember it wasn't so much that bad
things were going to happen to me. It was more
of a thing. Nothing happens to you when you were
in that It's just great. There's no good, there's no bad.

(09:17):
You're not happy. You're not sad. The only time you
feel a little bit of happiness is when you're pulling
off the bottle.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Okay, we've been pretty heavy here. Can we take a
break and come back? And I want your thoughts of
the Colts game this weekend. Okay, and we got a
clip from your podcast too. I want to play. Could
you come back for one more segment?

Speaker 1 (09:34):
I'd love to thanks all right, Matt.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
Bear the traffic beast joining us here. Man, nobody's more
of an open book than this cat. I got a
couple of things I want to get to you, Matt,
but we got a short time to do it in.
We got two minutes here. The Colts will be celebrating
Shack Leonard aka Darius Leonard this weekend at the game
against the Raiders. He's announced his retirement from the league.

(09:58):
He will retire as a He's banging the anvil your thoughts.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
One of my favorite Colts of all time, and I've
been a Colts fan forever. Just like everybody else, I
love Shack Leonard. The guy was an absolute missile a playmaker.
Reminded me of my favorite cold of all time. Well,
my second favorite Colt of all time. And that's Bob Sanders,
who was just an absolute just a little missile, Yeah,
he was an absolute missile. And hope and like this
team now has Nick Cross, who I'm becoming a huge

(10:23):
fan of, and Michael Pittman Junior, who is just a man.
It's an absolute man. So I expect him to show
lack Vegas this weekend. That's what I want.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
What SoundBite from your podcast are we about to hear?

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Okay, we talked about the negative stuff before the break,
but now this is the positive stuff, the beauty of it,
the fun stuff. That's the joy of recovery. The thing is,
when you're recovery now alcoholic, you have to put in
the work. But I and it's sometimes it's a little arger,
sometimes there's there's a lot to it. One of the
recovery centers I was at it was a step study.
It was a step study for troubled children, except we're

(10:56):
all forty and we go through the NA work book
for step one complete surrender and step one that your
alcoholic and add it has to make to begin their
recovery journey in Arnest and there were sixty nine questions. Yeah,
I know, it's a lot of questions, and they were saying, yeah,
if you're write yes or no, you got to go
back and do the whole thing again. You had to

(11:17):
write out the answers. It was one of the most
valuable teachings I've ever had. Recovery.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
Yes, I'm sorry, Oh go ahead. We got about ten seconds.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
I'm just saying it was a fantastic experience in the
world of recovery is a beautiful thing. If you're ready
to come.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
I'm so proud of what you become. Matt, God bless you.
Where can we find this podcast?

Speaker 1 (11:34):
You can find it on any major podcast provider. I
use Spotify and Supporting Sobriety at Sobriety Underscore pod on Instant,
Instagram and x and my partner's Ryan Hendrick. You can
find him at Sure to Cover on Twitter.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Anywhere you get your podcast, I hear that all the time.
Right anywhere you get your podcast, you'll find it Supporting
Sobriety Matt Behar, Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Man, Happy birthday, Hammer. Thanks for having me for that.
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Brother.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Hey coming up next, Tommy Piggott, he used to work
with the RNC. He used to call it every week
now he works at the State Department. He's got an
update for us next