Ep. 101: Driving Down Splash Mountain

We're back! Ben listens to a baby podcast, Brian is at Mose with Denzel, and a bird eats some bad food.

Check it out!

Episode Transcript

(00:30):
Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Happy Cast with Ben and Brian.
I'm Brian and this guy over here, this fella joining me is someone who mastered the art
of social distancing years ago, Ben.
That is not inaccurate.

(00:50):
I mean same man, that's uh, I've been practicing these things for years so I was well prepared.
Other than having enough food and apparently toilet paper, me too.
Yeah, no, I mean I really didn't see the toilet paper scarcity thing being an issue but we
were down to like our last roll this morning and then I had to, I was at the store and

(01:17):
I had to seek out a new package and boy let me tell you, it was slim pickings.
Oh, so you found something though.
I mean sure, no, I mean I work at a grocery store so I did find the one package that I
hid in the back the day before because I knew I needed something.
I had the only package in the store.
You got first dibs?

(01:38):
Oh yeah man, I'm hanging out there at the back dock where things come in like a vulture
like what's this bread, I'll take that and I'll take this.
I do the same thing but mail it to me.
Okay yeah, yeah man, I can hook you up with some teepee, that's what best podcast bros
are for.
You are the best man, that's one of the duties.

(01:59):
Yeah, that's one of my best manly duties is toilet paper provider.
Everybody knows that.
We have had poor luck finding that but at least we have like four-ish, three and a half
right now left.
I mean yeah, yeah, I mean there are a lot of factors at play.
I definitely, some rolls last longer than others.
This is, but also by the way, far more bathroom talk than I thought we would ever have on

(02:23):
the podcast but I'm gonna roll with it.
Happy hour roll.
Right, so you know some of those rolls are like ridiculously large like oh well this
will last you for like let's say like weeks.
Like alright cool, cool, that's great.
It's one of the ones where it's so large it doesn't fit on like the regular size roll

(02:48):
thing.
You can't even like spin it and just get stuck.
Oh yeah, yeah, terrible.
Anyway, yes.
Getting ahead of ourselves.
We are, we are, sorry.
Off track so soon.
Oh well, I mean I guess we should address being back.
I guess if you're listening to this, this is the first episode of the podcast we've

(03:09):
had in over a year.
First released we have parts of one recorded but not.
Oh right, right.
This is episode 101.
Not 100 and it will say 101 on your feed.
Don't worry, there's not a missing 101 or 100 somewhere out there that is not picked
up by the feed.
It's just not uploaded yet or done or finished recording.

(03:31):
It's a work in progress.
I feel like we had very ambitious plans for what an episode 100 should be that I was and
still am excited about but it'll take a lot of work.
Yeah, it'll come out.
We got chunks of it done.
Yes, because I think my miscalculation was when I was in town visiting you, I just took

(03:56):
a snap to photo and put it on Facebook like, recording episode 100 and some people were
excited.
Then I'm sure like wondering like, oh that was six months ago and there's no episode
100.
Nope, I guess we need to add on like a little recording part of episode 100.
Yes, but that'll be, I think that'll be good when it comes out.

(04:18):
That'll be out within the next five years.
Yeah, sure.
I mean, we are entering the 10th year of the podcast so that means we average 10 episodes
per year so it's very exciting.
That's engineering numbers.
Well, they're the most consistent podcast around.

(04:38):
If you really listen to all of them, you'll hear that they kind of start repeating episodes
without telling anyone.
Oh, like reruns back in the day, they're just like re-uploading old episodes.
Yeah, they'll occasionally edit in like some differences about what's going on now or a
book that came out but it's all the same.
It's like remastered almost.
Oh, like it's like a special edition like George Lucas Star Wars thing.

(05:01):
But they don't want you to know that so don't spread it around too much.
That's what we call a podcast insider secret.
We do the same thing.
That's why you've heard the thing about that dude on the episode of Monk over and over.
Yeah, I think, did you actually pull that clip for the 100th episode?
I think I have a few of them on there.

(05:23):
I mean, it is.
I have it noted somewhere.
It is my favorite episode of Monk which...
With the astronaut.
Yeah, with the astronaut which apparently I forget about and then bring up every two
or three years.
Yeah, it's happened I think at least five times.
It's a really good episode.
It is.
I think this is now.
I'll have to include it on this list too now.

(05:44):
Oh, does that mean episode 100 could have a clip of episode 101?
Does that break reality too much?
I think it might have to.
Oh, all right.
So episode 101, given the...
Well, I don't know.
I mean, we all know where we're at right now.

(06:06):
I'm wondering how much we should just lay out for future podcast generations because
these recordings are going to last forever.
I wonder if you're just going to look back and think like, oh, or hopefully think like
I have no idea what they're talking about.
Yeah, like why are they talking about toilet paper hoarding so much?
Like 2020 was a weird time.

(06:26):
What is toilet paper?
Right.
No, I mean, it's...
We're quickly hurtling toward the day future, just all bidets all the time.
The day all day.
The day all day.
Okay.
I think we covered it all though.
I mean, I'm just going to dance around talking about a thing, but I don't have the conviction

(06:47):
to follow through with it, but...
We'll get to it maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It felt like a good time to bring the podcast back.
I think if you look at how the podcast goes away and then recurs throughout the 10 year
span, it's like when things need to be cheered up, it's like, oh, well, we'll bring the podcast

(07:10):
back.
This is a good time to do this.
We're the great equalizer.
Yeah, sure.
I'll take that.
I'm going to have t-shirts made up for the Happy Cat staff, which is you and me and your
cat maybe.
She's actually sitting on me right now.
Now that I said the great equalizer, it feels like that might be something that racists say,
but I don't know.
Oh, I hope not.

(07:31):
I take back my thing about the t-shirts.
I take it all back.
I'm going to look that up real fast.
Nope.
It's some guy said it.
Some guy who's a racist?
I don't know.
That's not our phrase anymore.
Okay.
All right.
We'll find a new phrase for t-shirts.
The great balancer.

(07:53):
That doesn't sound as bad.
Yeah, I suppose.
We figure that most of you are pretty bored.
Yeah, yeah.
I figured the people who would maybe listen to this might have some free time on their
hands, so it'd be nice to catch up with everyone and see how everyone's doing.

(08:17):
Later in the show, I'm going to just straight up ask people to contact the show because
I want to check on the... What do we call this group of people?
It's the happy cast, happy casters, happy ass listeners.
I don't think we had a whovians kind of term.
Oh, that should be the homework.
We need an official designation for anyone who listens to the podcast.

(08:39):
Hat bums.
I mean, we'll put that on the list, but hopefully we can beat it.
We'll add that on there too.
No one write in until you get to that part of the episode.
I know Brian teased it, but don't do it now.
It's not time.
Yeah, I spoiled it.
I'm sorry.
That's on me.
I thought you were spoiler free.
I used to be a long time ago.

(09:00):
I don't know what happened to me.
Spoiler free, spoiler free, spoiler... Free spoiler.
Hi, Mad City Bob.
Okay.
Hey, Mick Bob.
Okay.
Well, I feel like I've rambled on for a bit.
I feel like rationally the only thing we can do at this point is move on to happy hour.

(09:22):
In case you forgot, happy hour is the part of the show where we talk about the thing
that is making us happy for this week.
Ben?
Yes?
What in the wide world of sports?
World of sports?
Sports are gone.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.

(09:42):
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
World of sports.
What's making you happy this week?

(10:05):
You forced me to play the intro for World of Sports just there.
Shucks.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks.
First of all, this just in, it's not racist.
Education is a great equalizer.
Oh, great.
Great.
That's okay.
Well, I still don't want to use that.

(10:25):
I'd like to come up with something better.
I'd like to beat that.
I mean, there was that movie, The Equalizer.
Oh, with Denzel Washington, sure.
I didn't see it.
I kind of meant to.
He is the great equalizer.
And so we'll have shirts with him on it and the Happy Cast logo and everyone will know
what it means.
Sure.
Yeah, everyone.
People that don't even know about the podcast are going to see it and they'll just feel

(10:47):
it in their soul.
They're like, I get it.
Oh, Denzel listens to the Happy Cast?
I should too.
Sure.
It'll be like one of those Facebook ads with the celebrity holding up the t-shirt that's
like Photoshopped badly where it's like, oh yeah, see what Keanu Reeves likes my blog.
Look at the t-shirt he's wearing.
Has that worked?

(11:08):
I mean, it has to work on somebody.
It keeps happening, right?
But our version just has Denzel on the shirt, not even holding it.
That's just a picture of him.
I think it should be him on the shirt wearing the shirt with another picture of him on it.
And it just goes on for eternity.
We need to get on that.
We should.
Yeah, that's the Photoshop challenge.

(11:29):
Happy Hour.
I am going to go back towards an old classic, which is food slash candy.
Looking back at my list, a lot of my list is food slash candy.
This one is Hershey's Crunchers Cookies and Cream.
Oh, those are good.
I've had that.

(11:49):
I discovered them recently.
Okay.
It started because a couple of weeks ago for a D&D night, a couple of people couldn't make
it.
So instead we had a board game night.
Megan and I brought the Disney board game Villainous in all of the expansions.
Have you talked about it before?
Yeah, you talked about it on the show.

(12:11):
That's how I first heard about it.
And since that episode, I have picked it up and I fully co-sign on the recommendation
of Villainous.
Very good game.
The same thing happened with our friends who we're playing with.
They now also bought the base copy.
Well, a new expansion came out that includes Cruella De Vil and her game piece looks very

(12:32):
much like Cookies and Cream.
And so I started craving it.
Went to Walmart that night.
I saw these Hershey's Crunchers Cookies and Cream.
They have mini chocolate cookies, graham flavored wafers covered in white creme.
Creme, you say?
There's a little accent over the first E. But they're so good.
Yeah, now I'm glad you were able to find them.

(12:53):
I think I tried that product once because it was on a discontinued discount thing where
it's like, here, we're just trying to get rid of stock.
This is a dollar.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, they have it again, if so.
Maybe it just didn't sell at this location.
They were trying to get rid of it for something else.

(13:14):
Oh, maybe.
But Cookies and Cream is already one of my favorite flavors of things.
Ice cream.
That one weird Oreo candy bar that was Cookies and Cream flavored for some reason.
Or even didn't, didn't, I remember you send me a picture of a bag of Oreo cookies that
were Cookies and Cream flavored.
Yeah.
What?

(13:35):
If cream is the favorite part of Oreos for people, why put more cookies in it?
Just leave the cream there.
They are, okay, I don't want to get on my Ben Rantz.
Got to stay calm.
But yeah, that's pretty much it.
I don't have a lot to say other than that they're really good and I am holding an empty
bag and wish I had more.

(13:56):
It is a very, very solid junk food.
I co-sign on that as well.
So everyone send me some of those.
The end.
Also, toilet paper.
Wait, are we?
Yeah, so Cookies and Cream crunchers and toilet paper.
Please.
I don't know which one I want more, but both.
Very good.
What about you?
Well, I mean, there's just so much for me to choose from, Ben.

(14:20):
It's been a good long stretch.
It's been.
What was that?
You said, the way you said it's been made me think of the song.
Oh, the Baronette Lady song.
That's my happy hour.
It's just, you know, I learned about it from the Weird Al Parody, which is how I learned
about all popular music.
Me too.
If we were still putting out albums, which he's beyond that now, having fulfilled his

(14:47):
contract, what popular music do you think he would have parodied in the past year?
I think Old Town Road would have definitely made it into a polka medley.
It's hard for me to answer when I don't, like you said, I learned about them from his music.
So I have no idea.
Fair enough.
Like I was watching Colbert recently, but I'm like watching old episodes like two years

(15:08):
ago and they were talking about that Lady Gaga movie, A Star is Born.
Yeah, I never saw it.
She sang a part of one of the songs that I swear I heard in the radio like eight years
ago, but they said it was an original song.
I mean, that's how all popular music sounds at a certain point, I suppose.
I don't know.

(15:29):
It's confusing.
Anyway.
Yeah, I don't know what I always that the one that has the cowboy that the cowboy song.
Yeah, that's the cowboy song.
The rap country or something.
And people were mad.
I mean, people are always mad about something at some point, right?
That's true.
OK, so anyway, my happy hour is given our current circumstance where we're spending

(15:52):
a lot of time indoors, not a lot of things to do or places to see.
So OK, well, I don't want to expand too much.
There are multiple parts of the story that I need to lay as groundwork that I'll look
back to maybe in future weeks.
Oh, I'm excited.
But so I I'm in a new apartment.

(16:12):
I about at this point, I think it's been maybe it's been two weeks.
It's been I was going to say I was about to say one week, but then I thought it would
trigger that the bare naked ladies rant.
You already did.
Because you said two weeks and that could be like verse two.
That's the sequel song.
You know, I think more more songs need sequels.

(16:34):
That doesn't happen enough.
I think you're happy.
I might have been sequel songs at one point.
I mean, yeah, probably.
That seems like something I like.
While you talk, I will look it up.
OK, so my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment.
We're in the process of unpacking.
Is the same girlfriend as before?
Yes, yes.
I know, but I don't know if they know.

(16:55):
Right.
Sorry.
Yes.
And if you talk about it, it wasn't on here.
Sorry.
No.
All right.
It's definitely something I've thought about at some point then.
Anyway, so your situation can't really go out.
Not much to do.
Grocers are low.
So we're like, all right, I've gotten emails from every business I've ever given my email

(17:18):
address to about how they're handling the coronavirus situation.
They're like, all right, COVID-19, here's what we're doing.
We're still open, but we're a restaurant.
We're switching to delivery only.
We're cleaning everything every hour.
This, that, this, that.
Which I don't know how many of these emails you've gotten, but I feel like I'm pushing
like 30.
Some of them do I trust and believe.

(17:42):
Right.
And some of them seem like a form letter.
This feels like very copy and paste from other emails I've received.
Yup.
Like Chick-fil-A, okay, I trust you probably are going crazy cleaning.
Taco Bell, I don't know.
I bet they've definitely stepped it up a little bit.
Yeah, but I mean, a lot of employees don't seem to care all that much at Taco Bell compared

(18:02):
to when I've been to Chick-fil-A.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
The manager's there maybe, but I don't know.
Every time we go to one of our Taco Bells, they never have mild sauce.
Which seems crazy.
That seems like probably the most popular sauce, I would assume.
I guess that's why they're always out.
But if so, why haven't they just buy more regularly?
They're always out.

(18:22):
Sure.
Bump up that order.
Sorry.
Mini Bumper Patrol.
Yes.
So I don't know if this is a regional thing or not, but there's a restaurant, like a
Tex-Mex restaurant called Moe's, where they have very comically large burritos.
Why, it's a cousin.
Yeah, Moe's.
No, it's Moe, M-O-E-'-S, not Moe's.

(18:45):
Oh, yeah, we don't have one of those.
But I know you eat burritos there.
I've seen pictures.
Have I sent you burrito pictures before?
Maybe it's on Facebook.
It's always like, oh, I'm at Moe's with Denzel.
Oh, right.
Oh, yeah, whenever Denzel's in town, we have to go to Moe's.
We're going to make that happen.
Oh, I hope.

(19:07):
So I got an email from them.
Oh, well, hey, they're doing free deliveries because of the current situation.
So let's just get some food in here.
So I hop on my app, don't have to call anybody, don't have to talk to anyone, put in the order,
get sent, and even though I don't have a DoorDash app, apparently the Moe's app is fulfilled

(19:29):
through DoorDash.
So we get a text a few minutes later from the delivery man that's like, hey, this is
Eugene from DoorDash.
I'm healthy, but if it's OK with you, I'd like to conduct a no contact delivery.
And I was like, yes, this is incredible.
Why have we not been doing this all along?

(19:50):
This is great.
So leave your food in your doorstep and then knock and run away?
Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah, that's what it was.
He's like, all right, so I'm going to put your food in front of your door and then knock
and leave.
And yeah, that's pretty much what it was.
It's kind of the thing where instead of like you open the door and it's like a flaming
bag of dog poop, it's a bag of delicious burritos, which is a prank I think we can all get behind.

(20:15):
But what if it wasn't?
What if it was a flaming bag of dog poop?
Then I wouldn't be talking about as a happy hour.
It would be a bummer patrol all the way.
Unless you wanted a flaming bag of dog poop so you could prank your neighbors.
I mean, where are you going to find that?
Yeah, that's true.
And then in that case, I would just have to kick it across the hallway.
Oh, oh, yeah, I've seen your hallway through the Internet.

(20:37):
The magic of the Internet.
Which speaking of, since this has to do with your story, of all the times to get something
like this to happen to the world, now is not a terrible time.
No, no, we're pretty equipped to handle this.
With all like a bunch of stuff in our town in the last year, I started doing delivery
and pickup of like groceries and food finally.

(21:01):
So with that and the Internet everywhere, it's not the worst time.
It would have been worse probably 20 years ago when we couldn't do things like that.
Yeah, that's true.
Having some of that stuff definitely helps.
I can't imagine working for one of those services like the strain has to be tremendous.
I mean, I think work for a grocery store, which for purposes of this podcast, I will

(21:26):
refer to as a regional grocery chain.
I was going to call it privates.
No, no, that's pretty good though.
No, that's fine.
Okay.
Now, I just I never like to acknowledge the company I work for in a public forum because
I am I've been told that I'm openly hostile towards them.

(21:47):
So it's best not to put a name to anything.
I thought it might be like against your rules.
I know when I had a job at Toys R Us for about a week, one of the things I designed had to
mention that I couldn't on social media like talk about working there or say that I even
worked there.
I mean, maybe there might be some fine print somewhere saying that, but I'm going to I'm

(22:09):
going to get out in front of them and say like, I on a personal level, I don't want
to be involved with this.
I don't I don't like them.
I don't like them on Facebook.
And then for a while, I think I guess because of the algorithm, I would get their posts
in my feed as ads like, oh, check this out.
And I would always angry react to them.

(22:29):
It would be great.
It's like, here's a post about the groceries.
And it has 700 reactions and I'm like the one angry one.
But then I figured out you can actually block companies on Facebook.
So I just blocked them.
And now everything's much better.
Oh, yeah.
That was several.
It's been nice.
It's been.
Yeah.

(22:50):
I mean, I they don't make it easy.
It's like a little bit more involved than I would like it to be.
But once I figured it out, I'm like, oh, so much power.
I'm going to have to block all kinds of companies now.
So much more peaceful.
Anyway, grocery store.
Oh, oh, just like delivering things seems like it's probably hectic because we were
looking at like getting a like a food delivery from Amazon or Whole Foods or however that

(23:15):
whole thing works now.
And usually you pick a time.
But it was literally like the one time we have available is tomorrow between 1030 a.m.
and 11 a.m.
It's like, OK, well, we won't be here then.
But if we were, that would be great.
Just have them leave it on your doorstep.
Yeah, just leave the milk on the doorstep.
You'll come back and get it eventually.

(23:36):
We need to do that again to get groceries delivered.
But I'm worried that if they do, they just won't have any of it.
Yeah, I mean, that's probably a fair concern, although at least here where I'm at, things
are stabilizing a little bit.
You're starting to see more things on shelves because I think the initial panic worn down

(24:01):
a bit and people I think just have bunkers full of food at this point.
So they don't need to buy more.
I hope so.
We have.
What was that?
That was a sneeze.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I thought it might have been the S word shouted loudly in the other room.
Nope, nope, it was a sneeze.
I'll have to edit that out.

(24:24):
Like we have three Walmart super centers and two neighborhood markets in our town.
We've only been to two of those, but we went to one of them today and no toilet paper.
There was maybe three or four things of paper towels, which those don't flush, I think.
So I hope that's not why they're buying them.
Yeah, no, those aren't septic safe.

(24:44):
That will lead to problems.
Maybe if they have a trash can they're using afterwards, that's fine.
I don't know if it's fine, but it's don't put them in the toilet.
Yeah, don't flush them.
Yeah.
Throw them away if you're going to have if you need something.
Most of the meat was still gone.
There actually was bread.
Did you buy it all?

(25:04):
We bought one thing of bread so Megan could make grilled cheese sandwiches sometime.
I mean, that's my number one use for bread.
So that's good.
What kind of cheese do you use?
I switch up, but you can't go wrong with a classic savory cheddar or if I'm feeling fancy

(25:26):
like a fancy grilled cheese, pepper jack.
That's what we've been doing recently.
It's all because the grilled cheese restaurant that I might have talked about before, but
if not, it'll show up somewhere.
Let's see.
Other stuff that was missing.
A lot of my drinks are there.
Oh, because I drink a lot of Powerade Zero because of weird stuff.

(25:47):
That's hard to explain, but that was actually stocked.
Cat food mostly gone, but our cat's still good for now.
We went last Sunday, which would be Sunday before St. Patrick's Day, whatever day that
is, when Walmart had just announced new hours, which by the way, they've gotten even smaller.
They were going to close at 11.

(26:09):
Now they close at 8.30 PM, which isn't very unfortunate for us because we have different
time that we are awake and active.
So it's not great.
Anyway, we went to Walmart Supercenter and almost everything was gone.
Almost all meat, most of the frozen stuff, most of the frozen pizzas even, at least two

(26:34):
thirds of the cereal, but weirdly a lot of the milk was still there.
I guess people are getting ready for the power to go out, which I didn't know was a part
of it.
Yeah, we're hoping that toilet paper will show up at some point.
Walmart's now doing a thing where I think if you're a senior, you get to go in an hour

(26:55):
earlier before they're officially open, like magic hours.
Yeah, extra magic hours.
They get those to go shopping.
Oh yeah, we're doing that too.
I'm referring to it as extra magic hours, trying to get that started.
Hey, you had good timing with when your vacation happened.
Yeah, no.
We went back a month ago for Valentine's Day and wow, if we had it planned for this month,

(27:21):
that would have been a whole thing.
Thank goodness.
Anyway, yeah, grocery stores, that's your happy hour.
No, no, no contact deliveries.
That's my happy hour.
That is pretty great.
Yes.
All right.
What even comes after that?
It's been over a year.
Well Ben, there's this old proverb that says for every happy hour, there is a bummer patrol.

(27:49):
Oh man.
That's right Ben, it ain't all sunshine and rainbows these days.
It's sunshine.
Oh yes, right, like an attorney's general situation.

(28:09):
Anyway, so what's your bummer patrol?
What's got you feeling down?
All right.
Well first of all, I will say that this is a rerun like I just accused the Injunerdy
show of doing.
It's come up several times, but it is especially relevant now.

(28:29):
It is allergy season.
Oh yeah, real bad time to have allergies.
Super bad time.
It came up, our guest on episode 45 talked about it.
That was fizzbizz.
Oh yes.
It's come up again.
I talked about my catnip allergy story, which is extremely different, but I mentioned it

(28:52):
on episode 80.
It was that and dabbing?
Okay.
Wait, really?
And dabbing was in 2017?
I feel like that was, I don't know.
I don't know, time's weird.
Anyway, allergies, yes.
Allergy season's hitting at about the same time as this is, so both Megan and I have

(29:16):
had a scratchy throat here and there, and sometimes a cough.
I already have a previous medical thing in my, like a throat thing, that causes food,
liquid, and even air to easily get caught in it, making it feel like I have to frequently
clear my throat and it gives me hiccups where I can't burp a bunch of stuff.

(29:38):
That's all connected.
So, anytime I eat or drink or talk a lot, like now, I have to start clearing my throat
and I sometimes wake up with a sore throat because of it.
So that's all been very paranoid inducing, which is great when you also have anxiety.
That's a real killer cocktail you got going over there.
I also have regularly have had anxiety about getting sick with things where I start thinking

(30:03):
I have symptoms when I don't, even though my brain knows I don't.
So it's all been, ooh, the perfect storm of thinking I'm dying.
But luckily I get over that.
Like once a day I feel it and then it goes away once a day, generally.
But I fear that I'm going to make people scared in public.

(30:28):
If we went to Walmart today, I'd keep having to go trying to hold in any coughs I had so
I wouldn't get glares.
Right, right.
Yeah, I mean, I think you're justified to be concerned because as somebody who is not
only at a store but at a store for more hours than usual because things are crazy.

(30:53):
So it's like, ah, you're going to be, you're going to live here now.
I definitely, anytime somebody coughs, I'm definitely giving them a little bit of side
eye like scoping them out like, I don't know, this guy looks kind of under the weather.
Oh yeah, like as soon as we went into Walmart last Sunday, Caitlin was with us.
But as soon as we walked in, we walked past the part where you get the carts, we were
not touching any carts.

(31:15):
As soon as we got to the main open aisle, a lady rolled past us and coughed like, as
she passed by.
And we both just all stopped.
I was like, what?
You actually get some masks, man.
You got to get the masks.
They say it doesn't really help because it can enter through your eyes, I thought.
Goggles, masks and goggles.

(31:35):
You need to be like these folks walking around looking like the world's worst Bane cosplay.
Oh god, well could I just use Bane cosplay?
Very sure, if you have some really good Bane cosplay, I think that would also protect you
from the virus.
I don't, but now I kind of wish I did.
But yeah, I'm mostly worried people are going to get mad at me.

(31:57):
Also this whole situation, I know it's very dire in a lot of places, but I'm trying, this
is Happy Cast, I don't want to go too deep into that kind of thing.
So just so you guys know, I'm not trying to be selfish about, oh, woe is me kind of situation.
I know it's definitely worth for other people, but I mean, that's not great for a podcast
that's supposed to be funny.

(32:18):
That's true.
And then I hear sometimes we are on occasion.
It's happened.
I mean, at least we think we're funny when we listen to old clips and episodes.
Not to, okay, just steal the spotlight from you for one second.
When you talk about thinking we're funny, it reminds me of, we were going on vacation

(32:39):
and my girlfriend and I were driving down to Orlando for Disney World.
And so I'm like burning, I'm doing most of the driving and burning through a podcast
and whatnot.
And then after like five hours, I'm like, I'm gonna put on a Happy Cast.
I want to, you know, I just, I find it comforting in times of hardship.
Like let's listen to the Happy Cast.

(33:00):
Like driving.
Right, right.
Like a long drive where like your legs are falling asleep.
You're like, I don't know if I'm going to make it, man.
So I pull up an eventous episode.
Oh yeah.
That's one.
The one, the queue, the queue episode.
Ooh, that's good.
I was gonna say that no matter who you said, but still.
Yeah, they're all, they're all good.
No, it's actually the Fizzbiz episode that was unreleased, oddly enough.

(33:23):
Oh yeah.
I mean, that's, I, there are plans.
Oh, we're going to special edition it.
Yeah.
So I put that episode on and I'm driving.
I'm really enjoying it, mostly because of the work you're putting into building the
games and the categories and whatnot.
But I forgot how long our episodes are sometimes.

(33:47):
So after, after about 45 minutes I check and I'm like, Ooh.
And Katie says like, what, how, how much longer is it?
I'm like, no, that's fine.
Don't worry about it.
She's like, how, how much longer is it?
I'm like, it's another hour.
She's like, how is it another hour?
What are you guys gonna talk about for another hour?
I'm like, uh, you know, I don't know.
Like there, there are a few more rounds.

(34:07):
I, I don't know.
Uh, I'm like, are you, are you not enjoying this?
She's like, uh, uh, no, no, this is great.
There's nothing I love more than listening to you laugh at your own jokes.
And I'm like, Oh, okay.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Because, uh, yeah, no, I'd like to think I was mostly laughing at you, but I did, I

(34:28):
did get myself going a couple of times.
I was like, right, this is weird.
This is a weird ego thing.
Uh, let's listen to 99% invisible or something.
Oh, but I mean, it is pretty good.
I mean, it is pretty good.
So everyone go back and listen to those episodes.
Yeah.
Ben put a lot of work into those.
I mean, you had to talk and answer things.

(34:49):
I true.
Okay.
So it was like a 50 50 split then exactly down the middle.
But yeah, uh, it's, it's bad.
My mom mentioned who's probably hearing this, uh, right now, as I say this, because that's
how podcasts work.
He is hearing that at the time that she hears it, uh, she has a medication that gives her

(35:10):
a cough.
So I'm sure that's been great for her too.
Right.
Yeah.
That's a, it's a time of a just real uneasy coughing all around.
Yeah.
Uh, unrelated to that, um, we have canceled our most recent DND game, uh, partly because,
uh, we don't want to pass stuff around.

(35:31):
We're all like careful people generally, but you never know.
And I think, uh, they have, or one of them has, uh, older parents that we don't want
to get contacted with it.
That's fair.
I mean, you guys could play via Skype.
I've heard that that is possible.
What do you mean?
We did it.
Yeah, no, that's different.
We're in the, I mean, we were, it started online and it ended online.

(35:56):
Our game up there though, I have played with one, uh, often with one or two of the members,
usually just one of them playing online also, but the rest of us were in person.
There are so many sound issues and like lag problems and then they miss things and they
can't see like the maps and I have all those maps and minis and stuff I'd like to use.
It wouldn't work as well.
And after like learn new systems and get new subscriptions to things and I couldn't put

(36:20):
the music the way I'd want to.
And a lot of things.
Plus, uh, since Megan, I both play, we have one laptop and all my notes are on the laptop.
So either I would be the center of everything and you wouldn't see her or she'd see all
my notes.
Sure.
I could see that being a logistical problem.
Yeah.
So I'd rather just wait until we can play again safely.

(36:42):
Yeah, fair enough.
You guys get way into way into Minecraft, Roblox, whatever the kids are doing.
Is this still Fortnite or are they through with Fortnite now?
I feel like they're through with Fortnite, but I don't know what the new thing is.
Angry Birds probably.

(37:03):
Right.
Yeah, kids love Angry Birds.
That's coming back.
A second movie came out.
Yeah, that's weird, right?
Yeah, I didn't know.
I didn't know the first one did well enough to justify it.
Hmm.
Hmm.
It's always different than just allergies being bad this time.
There's not a straight up copy.

(37:24):
It's specifically it happening with this timing.
Sure, sure.
The aligning of these two events is very unfortunate for you timing wise.
It is.
And for other people who might think that I'm going to get them sick.
Yes.
Yeah, it's true.
So yeah, you're causing them a lot of stress and anxiety and then you're feeling it too.

(37:47):
So just all around bad feelings for everyone.
But these coughs and clearing throats are now actually it's more of just that.
Okay, good.
What about you?
You've put me at ease.
Oh, you're not going to catch it through the internet.
We are very socially distanced right now.
Yeah, yeah.
We have, I'm going to say about 700 miles between us.

(38:08):
So I think we're good.
How many feet?
Oh, I'm going to need a little bit of time to convert that into feet.
All right.
You can do that while you do your bumper patrol.
I mean, I'm going to estimate top of my head at least 57 feet.
That's true.
That's true.
Probably at least 57.
If not more, 58 maybe.

(38:29):
So for my bumper patrol is going to be very, very straightforward to the point.
Not a lot of nuance to mine.
It's just my bumper patrol is the parking situation at my new apartment complex is unfortunate
in that all the parking spaces are beneath either phone wires or cables or power lines

(38:57):
or something like that.
So this leads to a lot of birds gathering on said wire and a lot of bird droppings being
on your car.
So I'll park getting home from work, go in, come out the next morning.
It looks like, no joke, half a dozen birds have defecated on my car.

(39:21):
So I'm like, all right, well, everything's not going to be great about anywhere you live.
So this is going to be the one con, I guess.
What if it was one bird who's really had to go?
One bird that just ate something bad, I guess.
Yeah, it's possible.
I mean, at least my car is already white, so it doesn't show too badly, but it's bad.

(39:45):
It's bad, man.
Have you tried putting a tarp over your car every time you get out of it?
No, but that would take a little bit of commitment, but I'm not opposed to it.
I might do it.
But then I have a poopy tarp I'll have to deal with, and that's not fun either.
That's true.

(40:06):
What about a blanket?
No, no.
Maybe.
I feel like there's a real elegant solution right in front of me, but I can't quite see
it.
Cut down the power lines.
Yes, I was going to say bird toilets, but I like your thought more.

(40:29):
Both?
Sure, like the one-two punch.
Just to make sure.
You got to be safe.
Always do things double so you know something's going to work.
Right, you have to have a fail safe, of course.
That's the word.
The fail safe.
The lost episode.
Yep, the fail safe.
Everyone's favorite episode.
Oh, well, bird poop and allergies.

(40:52):
Ah, yes.
Like peanut butter and chocolate.
They go together.
Don't eat those two together.
What's wrong with you, Brian?
What happened to you since you moved to a new apartment?
I don't know, man.
Maybe there's a gap.
I don't know.
All right, so Bumber Patrol is done, so it's time for that third segment that everyone

(41:17):
loves.
We all know the third thing we do, right?
It's been done at least one time in less than 100.
Okay, all right.
Good, good.
I'm actually honestly trying to remember where we landed for this one.
I'm going to take a shot in the dark.
I've been everywhere, but that's it, of course.
Let's do that.

(41:37):
Listen, I've traveled every road in this year, man.
All right, I've been everywhere, man.
This is the designated part of the show where we're just going to talk about where we've
been, what we've been doing for the past year.
All right, month by month, Brian.
January 2019.
All right, so January 2019, I got way into drinking English breakfast tea for some reason.

(42:03):
I don't know what it was.
I've always been Earl Grey, man, but English breakfast.
Have you tried drinking English breakfast?
Just English breakfast?
Yeah, like sausage, bangers and mash, beans on toast, black pudding.
No, wait, blood pudding?

(42:23):
Blood pudding, maybe both.
Black blood pudding.
What is black pudding a thing or is that a D&D monster?
I don't know.
It's definitely a D&D monster, so I don't know if it's also a thing.
Neil and Robbo, write in and tell us what is included in English breakfast and would
you drink it if it was made into a smoothie?
English breakfast smoothie.

(42:44):
I mean, literally everyone, I think, in the world is at least some level of lockdown,
hopefully.
Hopefully so.
I'm just waiting for them to come out with English lunch tea.
That's really my dream beverage.
Do the English have lunch or do they just have breakfast, tea, tea and dinner?

(43:07):
Well they have breakfast tea, second breakfast.
Oh yeah, everyone knows the second breakfast.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe they don't have lunch.
We should get some information about that too.
Didn't we have a segment called Ask a British Person?
Yeah, I don't know if we ever did that or just talked about it.

(43:27):
Well, we're doing it now.
The British person's write in or voice in if you want to.
We'll tell you how later.
So just remember that for later.
Yes, of course.
All right, sorry.
But no, honestly, I can't give you a month by month breakdown of my year, unfortunately.
Oh, disappointing.

(43:47):
I think the highlight was in September when we came out to visit you guys.
That was fun.
That was a fun time and eventually some of that recording will be heard.
Right.
I was mostly stoked that I was able to finally experience the escape rooms that you worked
on.
Oh yeah, I was glad you got to do that too and you are some of the last to do it.

(44:11):
Yeah, because we did so well at it.
You just thought like, darn, nobody's going to ever solve this room as well as Brian and
Katie did.
Time to shut it down.
That's true.
Or if people want the truth, since this is part of what I'm going to talk about in this
video, we had to close our escape room partly because from May through most of the rest
of the summer, including when you were there, it rained real bad in our area.

(44:36):
Oh yeah, that was some scary rain.
Yeah.
I remember when it was pretty much like we were on like Splash Mountain driving down
a hill.
Oh yeah, no.
Yeah, we were hydroplaning like crazy.
That was not at all terrifying.
I was like, well, I'm going to be responsible for your girlfriend's death.
That sounds fun.

(44:57):
And me.
Yeah, but I expect to be responsible for your death.
Yeah, that wasn't surprising.
It was a matter of when, not if.
Exactly.
But I mean, Katie also, I would have felt bad.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, she would have been definitely the top headline in that obituary.

(45:18):
I assume when we die, it'll be like Freddy versus Jason style.
Wait, wait.
Are we fighting each other?
Probably.
Yeah.
Well, eventually one of us will choose the side of happy.
One will choose the side of bummer and then we'll have to have an all out fight.
Okay.
All right.
I mean, I'm not going to discuss it here on the air, but I think I can see who would take

(45:39):
which side and who would be the Freddy and who would be the Jason.
Well, I mean, I'm Jason because Jason's the best.
Anyway, sorry, Megan.
Yeah.
There's been a lot of rain and flooding then and also just coincidentally in the building,
a new company bought our building and I guess somewhere in the middle, they didn't talk

(46:03):
about what was wrong with the building.
I don't know because we had frequent pipe flooding issues that flooded our place and
ruined props and we had to throw stuff out and add new stuff.
And then during the heavy rains, the river, which our town is like surrounded on like almost
three sides by this river, it flooded to a crazy amount because something about some

(46:26):
barges somewhere got loose and hit a dam and they had to release the water from the dam,
which flooded the river.
And most of our roads out of town were closed down because they were flooded.
So we were sort of river quarantined from that.
There were entire buildings in some areas of town that were completely underwater from

(46:46):
this.
Wow.
And some of that flooding, that didn't affect our business directly.
We have all that stuff across that summer.
People couldn't go or didn't want to go because downtown got kind of bad.
So eventually we had to close down.
But right now, I am very thankful I don't work at one.
Yeah, it'd be a bad time for that business.

(47:09):
Oh, yeah.
A lot of them already are having to close because of this, or at least temporarily.
But also, I got sick pretty regularly working there because you touch a lot of things that
a lot of people touch.
Right.
What was your sanitation policy?
Did you disinfect the room after every group?
Every day we would, but there would not have been time, dude, after every group at all.

(47:33):
Well, you would have to be the one writing that email to everyone on your list.
Like, no, here's what Escape Masters is doing in preparation of COVID-19.
Oh, yeah.
But I'm very glad I don't work there now.
But instead, what I'm up to, at least I don't know if it's going to come of anything, but
I have started a new hobby of designing crosswords.

(47:56):
Yeah, no, I've had the pleasure of playtesting some of them and I've enjoyed them a lot.
It's difficult, by the way, guys.
It's pretty hard.
But my whole thing through most of my life that I remember is I'm the one in a group

(48:16):
whose job it is to organize and run games.
Board games, escape room games, D&D games, whatever.
I make, I mean, Aventus games.
True.
You're the game master.
I am.
I didn't even realize until I think around the time I was partway through running D&D

(48:36):
that's just the thing that I do.
Did I mention D&D before?
That's been on the show before.
Yeah, I run two D&D games.
They alternate every weekend.
Right now I run no D&D games because everyone's hiding.
But yeah, crosswords.
I've made, I think, four or five now.

(48:57):
And it's hard.
One, thinking up a good theme, that part is pretty fun.
But the thing is, that's always been more fun to do with you, Brian, on the podcast.
A lot of the theme stuff is a lot like what we used to do, thinking up stupid book puns
and book food puns.
But you can't just do that.

(49:19):
You also have to make sure that most of the time it fits in 15 letters because the New
York Times, their crosswords are 15 by 15.
You have to make sure that you have pairs that are the same length because also if you
guys don't know crossword stuff, they are parallel over the diagonal.
So unless you have one right in the middle, if you have a 12 letter answer somewhere,

(49:41):
you're having another 12 letter answer.
And to make it neat, those should both be themes or else it gets confusing for people
who don't know.
So getting all that done is the first step.
Then you have to find out where you can fit them, where some of it will make sense.
Placing the black squares is even harder because since it has to be parallel, you have to make

(50:02):
sure you don't have too many three letter words.
You're very limited on how certain things work.
And then you get stuck with a bunch of words that are blank V, blank D, and you have to
make it fit.
Or how many words will fit there and then will they fit with other words?
And then the most fun part to me is, wait, then you have to do the fill, which is all

(50:23):
the tiny words once you have the big words in place.
And you have to keep a balance of not having too many trivia like who is a celebrity kind
of things or too many stupid abbreviations no one's ever heard of, which can be very
hard to make all that balance out right.
But the fun part is the cluing because you get to be creative and misleading and a lot

(50:43):
of wordplay involved in that.
Yeah, and then sometimes you're just accidentally misleading.
Like when one of your clues was cooler drink and it was four letters, I'm like, obviously
this is ecto, ecto cooler.
And you had to break my heart and say like, no, no, it's not.

(51:04):
It's not ecto.
And I looked at them like, oh, it's wine.
But man, I wish it was ecto.
I also wish it were ecto.
That's the kind of thing I like doing is if I had thought of ecto, I would have used that
clue anyway because of that.
There are things I've learned, like there are things called veiled capitals where you
if it has a capital normally, you put it at the start because the start always has a capital.

(51:28):
Then you don't know when you read it, if it does or not.
Like I had a five letter answer and the clue was Garner drama, which could be to Garner
drama or it could be the drama that Jennifer Garner was in.
Oh, yeah.
OK.
Yeah, I remember that one.
Yeah.
So you can be real sneaky about it.
And with some of the clues I wrote, not clues, some of the words I picked, I picked some

(51:51):
of them specifically for like you or for Megan or for Caitlin or something like one of my
entire crosswords is about cryptids includes Bigfoot because that one is like sort of for
Caitlin.
You have not done my latest one, which I think is one of my best ones, but I included a movie
that you like in there.
Oh, I'm excited to see it now.

(52:14):
I didn't want to like pressure you to do them, so I'd stop talking about them with you because
I felt bad.
No, I guess so.
Well, I mean, I like to occasionally do a crossword from time to time anyway.
So it's even better if I know the person actually wrote it because then there's like this added
layer of like looking at it and being like, oh, yeah, this is something that Ben thinks

(52:37):
of obsessively or brings up from time to time.
I can see why this is in this puzzle.
Yeah.
Well, like one of them I fit, I think, my favorite pair or clue pair was the Batman
and Joker EG that I put next to each other.
Yeah, that was good.
Yeah.
I'm not going to say if you want to find out, hit me up and I can send you PDFs of all of

(52:58):
them.
Subscribe to Ben's crossword feed.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
You keep going.
Oh, which is him just emailing you the files.
Eventually.
Yes.
Yeah, but I think everyone I've done has had at least one clue that I thought this one's
for Brian.
Well, then you have to keep sending them to me.
Oh, and this in this latest one, one of them is a theme answer that I was adamant I was

(53:22):
not going to lose just because I'm like, this is a Brian answer.
I have to keep it in here.
Oh, wow.
I'm excited.
I want to start this puzzle tonight then.
I can send it.
And at some point I'm going to send these to the New York Times.
I'm going to try and hope that they'll at least constructively criticize and tell me
what I need to do instead to be accepted because you can make some OK side money off those

(53:48):
kind of things.
So how does that work?
Do you submit individually or do you send in a packet?
They have a format.
Sorry.
I'm pretty sure it's individually, but I don't know if I'm like allowed to send five envelopes.
Right.
I have like four or five crosswords done just to send them all in one.

(54:11):
Try to space them out like week by week.
I don't know.
I think week by week sounds good.
It especially if you just like bank a few up and then it just gives them the impression
that you're just doing these every week like, oh, here's this week's crossword.
I'm hoping and some of them have a lot of names and I feel bad, but they're not uncommon

(54:31):
to me.
I don't know.
There's a whole thing, too, where if it's like more obscure, the clue should be more
specific and less tricky.
Right.
More obvious word.
You can be trickier with it.
And did you tell me also one of the rules of a crossword is you have to fit in every
letter of the alphabet?
Oh, no, I just tried to do that.

(54:52):
That's like a special thing is doing a pan gram, which is every letter from A to Z somewhere
in the alphabet.
And in one of my crosswords, I managed to do that.
Very good.
That's the one with the I want to say the Ozark Strangler, but I know that's not right.
The Ozark Wanderer.
It's the cryptid one because the theme answers included like just on their own, a J, a V,

(55:18):
I think a Y, a Z, a K, a W, an H. So it's really easy to already get most of the way
there.
But yeah, it's pretty cool.
And if you do do do if you do do them, feel free to ask me if you want hints or anything.
I have I guess in PDFs, I can there are ways to do it on like apps or something.

(55:41):
I don't know.
It's kind of weird.
But anyway, yeah, they have a specific format of how you have to send it.
I hope it works out because it'd be a fun way to get some extra money that I can do
in between my D and D planning, which takes most of a week.
I mean, I I think your puzzles are great.
I'm no expert, but humble brag.

(56:04):
I have completed literally dozen of crossword puzzles in my life.
Dozen.
You did you were doing a pretty good job, too.
I was excited for someone who's only done dozen of them.
Well, I think I I have actually probably gotten about 70 percent of a lot of crosswords done
and then I get discouraged and quit.

(56:25):
Like, all right, I won't finish this.
I know how that is because all right.
Well, we're here.
I'm talking about my crossword strategy.
I've been doing a lot of New York Times crosswords.
I have a subscription so I can do them on the app.
I usually do one or two.
I like to do all the crosses and all the downs just to try to see a quick run through.
Like, do I know any of these easily for later on?

(56:46):
Is anything like a gimme?
So I put those in right away.
Then I do a second like slower.
I'll think a little bit through all the crosses and all the downs.
And from there, I usually go by where I have a lot of letters and try to fill it out from
there.
If I'm still stuck one more run through across and down, then I usually I'll go to a look
up stuff that I would never, ever know, like the star of some movie from the 40s.

(57:08):
I'm not just going to think of that all of a sudden.
So then I go for those and then see how it works from there.
And usually I'm good after that.
But sometimes I still have to look up a few answers.
Depending on the day of the week.
The New York Times is a whole thing where Monday's easy and Saturday's the hardest.

(57:30):
And then it's a whole thing with difficulty throughout the days of the week.
So if you get like what seems like a really easy clue on Saturday, they're probably tricking
you.
So most of my clues, I clued to make them more difficult at the entire crossword so
they could just decide what they want to keep and what they don't.
I don't want to just give up all boring clues.
That makes sense.

(57:53):
But yeah, I have all those.
I recommend them.
I'm looking forward to your latest.
You want to get the first two.
So yeah, I'll get you three and four if you want them.
I'll let you know which one is your theme answer in it.
But yeah, that's what I've been up to is Clue Master's Closed, more D&D, and now I've been

(58:14):
working on making crossword puzzles in my spare time.
Very good.
I guess to summarize my year, I worked a bunch.
We did some traveling.
I visited one of my favorite places in the world, Fort Smith, Arkansas.
New Jersey.

(58:35):
Oh, sure.
Yeah, I went to New Jersey.
And then we did Disney World, which I guess we'll talk about on a future podcast.
I think that'll be a lengthy segment because we went to the Star Wars Park Galaxy's Edge
and man, oh man, I have some thoughts.
We have so much to talk about that.
Probably next week.
I'm excited about it.

(58:55):
Hopefully next week.
At least we'll probably have a few of these out during this whole situation.
I mean, I, you know, I can't make any promises or I don't know where you are on this thing,
but I would like to pledge to doing a weekly show until the situation resolves.

(59:15):
And that could be, from what I heard, as long as 18 months possibly.
I mean, then it'll be like the, it'll be like that one run we did where even though we've
done a hundred episodes in 10 years, I think like 50 of them were in a two year period.
I think so.
So at what point during this run are we going to start having characters again?

(59:36):
I don't know, but that was, that was my favorite era of the podcast and also by far the most
difficult.
It was so good though.
It was worth it.
Wait, so how are we going to do a weekly one if you now work more?
Well, you know, I have a day off.
They give me a day off a week.
So I can, I can fit in, you know, an hour or two to virtually hang out with my buddy

(01:00:01):
and talk about the goings on.
And I have more time because I'm not prepping D and D. I will edit podcasts in that time.
Oh, so if I do come up with some like weird scatter character ideas, we can maybe do that
too.
We definitely could.
I've had an idea or two already that I forgot now, but that I have them.
Oh, great.

(01:00:21):
I mean, when I was moving, I found my old podcast idea notebook.
So maybe I'll go through there and see if there are any hidden gems.
Oh, is that the one that always talks about when episode is a pinball machine?
You know, it's funny.
It's funny you bring that up, Ben.
I was actually going to ask you what if you did a crossword puzzle that was a pinball
machine?

(01:00:41):
Hmm.
I actually probably could.
Full tilt.
No, I definitely could.
If I could think of good pinball words and can make it fit this right.
Now I'm going to see.
Now we have to do it.
Look what you did.
I'm sorry.
So what?
OK, third segment's done.
Sound.
Oh, great.

(01:01:02):
Thanks.
What's this?
A letter for me.
Oh, so before we get started, I want to thank you for watching.
This is a letter for me.
Before we wrap this thing up and put it to bed, I again, I kind of alluded to this earlier,
but I would love to hear from the listeners, anyone who's hearing this right now, reach

(01:01:24):
out and tell us how you're doing, how you're dealing with the situation and share your
happy hours and bumper patrols.
We'd love to hear from you.
Oh, definitely.
Not just like, I mean, I want to know your emotional state, which I guess not too scary,
but just that kind of thing.
And what you've been doing to survive that not in a sad way.

(01:01:48):
We've been doing to keep your brain sane, locked inside, trying to find things to do
all that.
I'm curious.
Or how your lives have changed if your jobs are different now or that kind of thing.
Yeah.
We've fallen out of touch with our podcast friends.
I'd like to know how they're doing.
I mean, I still message all of them every day.

(01:02:10):
What?
We have a whole group text thread with all of us, but you're not a part of it.
That feels right.
I've secretly suspected that all along.
Well, sorry to break it to you.
I mean, a lot's changed.
Some of them have babies now.
Some have podcasts of their own that are far more successful than ours.
Some have podcast babies.

(01:02:32):
Yeah.
The best of both worlds.
And baby podcasts.
So is that a podcast that is a baby or about babies?
Hosted by.
Oh my God.
That's incredible.
I would listen to that.
I know.
Well, check it out.
It has a name that I don't have a pun for right now.

(01:02:55):
Like a pun to come.
We'll go back.
We'll fix that in post.
Oh yeah, definitely.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm soliciting feedback.
I should mention the email address you can send it to is happycastfeedback.gmail.com.
Oh yes.
happycastfeedback.gmail.com.
Yes.
Audio is also okay if you want to send it a voice message like that.

(01:03:16):
I don't know if you have a phone number, but I mean, almost everyone can record something
on their phone and then just mail it.
So that's fine.
That's true.
And then if we do this long enough, we'll probably see if we can get back to having
guests on the show.
We'll do it that when we did it.
Oh wait, I have a feedback.
What?
Already?
Man, that was fast.

(01:03:36):
I forgot.
Yeah.
So I have a recording from my sister who sent something in.
I have not listened to it yet.
We will see what it sounds like.
Happy cast time.
Okay.
Um, my happy hour for probably the year is that Animal Crossing New Horizons is coming

(01:03:57):
out and I'll get to play it in just a few hours and I'm super excited.
Um, my bummer patrol is, I don't know, maybe that they canceled the midnight release party
thing that they were going to have at GameStop.

(01:04:20):
Either way, I'm definitely going to play it and it's going to be a party all of one.
Happy every pappy.
That was the new today.
Right.
The new today.
Of course.
I don't know who Kaylin is.
No idea.
Uh, yeah, no animal.
I'm the Animal Crossing New Leaf.
I'm sure that's also probably your happy hour as we are now two hours away from the release.

(01:04:45):
Well, actually Brian, terrifying bear face showed up.
Oh, what classic podcast character, terrifying bear face.
What are you doing here?
Animal Crossing New Leaf was on the 3DS, not on the Switch.
Sorry, I meant Animal Crossing the wild wide world of sports.

(01:05:06):
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.

(01:05:28):
Sports.
Sports.
Animal Crossing Wild World was on the Wii, Brian.
OK, OK, OK.
So this one is I know this animal crossing.
World of sports again.
Thanks a lot.
Animal Crossing Island Adventures in the sun.

(01:05:49):
It's Animal Crossing New Horizons.
That was going to be my next guess probably.
Get out of here, bear face.
But yeah, that game is coming out.
I am playing it at actually it comes out at 11 p.m. digitally.
I'll be playing it for about one and a half hours until Megan comes home and then she'll
be playing it from Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

(01:06:12):
Oh, well, you should cherish your hour and a half then.
And if I want to go back like we used to do at old school.
Fun fact.
I remember crossing wild world on the Wii while we recorded several episodes.
Really?
I always thought your go to podcast game was threes.
Oh, it was threes eventually.
I think before threes, pre threes, it was definitely in crossing wild world because

(01:06:37):
I think I opened it up a few months ago and I saw that my town flag in my shirt was still
the Happy Cast logo.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, really excited about it.
I was not surprised that that was happy or her bummer.
I would.
So I don't mean to disrespect Animal Crossing.

(01:06:58):
I was a big fan of the original on the GameCube and I just haven't played one since.
But this one seems really cool.
I'd like to play it.
I just have to get one of them Nintendo switches.
Oh, we actually bought one from my sister, a switch light that she had.
So Megan could also play separately and we wouldn't have to fight over it.
Oh, nice.

(01:07:18):
Yeah, it's going to be it's going to be cool.
If we ever do a Warp Zone episode or episode that has it in it, which we probably will
if we can get the new today away from the game long enough to be on the show, it'll
probably be what she talks about.
Well, I need to get it then.
I want to I want to be able to talk about this.

(01:07:39):
I want to see how the franchise has evolved from that first entry.
I don't even know what it looks like now.
I mean, are there still four houses per world where four different players live or you can
have eight now?
Oh, it's up to eight.
Is it all online?
Can you have online worlds or is all same console?

(01:08:00):
How have they evolved with the times?
Is there a big Internet component?
You can visit your friends towns online if you want to.
Oh, I and you can play couch co-op if you want to.
Oh, that's cool.
That's cool.
So really, really the game I'm looking for is I would like to play as either Tom Nook,
where I go around shaking people down for bells or I want to be Mr.

(01:08:23):
Resetti that I get to just like show up at towns and yell at people for not saving properly.
Actually, Mr. Resetti was too scary for some kids.
So now he does something else.
Oh, no.
Well, yeah, I thought he was hilarious.
Yeah, he was one of my favorite things in the original.
Anyway, check that out next week.

(01:08:44):
I'm not sure when this is releasing, maybe this weekend.
But this weekend, you don't know what time that is.
Maybe that's the weekend after the Ides of March.
Who knows, man?
Times an artificial construct.
It's a flat circle, man.
It is what it is.
Whenever it is, you're hearing it now.
And if you want another room patrol for the new today, check out the after show.

(01:09:06):
Oh, oh, right.
Yes, that is going to be there.
What are we in this?
Well, recap.
You've been listening to Happy Cast up first.
We intro the show and then happy hour.
I'm thinking about that that pre trailers thing at movie theaters.
You remember you remember movie theaters, Ben, from the before times?

(01:09:30):
Mine didn't even have those.
Oh, yeah, I think if you go to like a regal, they call it the 20, which is like 20 minutes
of ads before commercials, but they market it like it's a insider look.
You got to see Ben Affleck's new Batman.
Speaking of real quick, but I'm going to forget about we went to an AMC theater, which we

(01:09:51):
almost never go to to watch Birds of Prey, which I thought was really good.
Surprisingly compared to Suicide Squad, which I thought was just kind of OK.
But there we had the pre commercials and then the trailer started and we had almost 30 minutes
of trailers.
Wow.
There were so many trailers.
Someone behind us even shouted out at one point waiting for the movie to start.

(01:10:12):
There were just so many trailers and aggressive number of trailers.
It was every time we were like, OK, no, no, still not.
And it's sometimes hard to tell if it's a trailer or not coming up.
So this is definitely the movie now.
Oh, they got me again.
You're like, oh, Chris Rock.
I don't know.
He was in Birds.
Oh, no, it's for Spiral.
Oh, yeah.
Can't wait to see that whenever that's out.

(01:10:37):
We'll see.
All right.
Anyway, and by recap, I was talking about like, remember we used to do the Scrubs recap
thing where it was like heartfelt about what we've learned in the episode?
Oh, yeah, we did do that for a while, didn't we?
It happened a few times.
Oh, yeah, we've done some weird stuff here.
Anyway, I'm not doing that.
So you're just going to remind us of it.

(01:10:59):
Remember when we did that?
It was good.
It's not doing it anymore.
So bye, everyone.
Is that how it?
No, no, we have a.
Well, I mean, we've ended most most episodes with our signature sign off.
But I think I think given the state of things, I would like to alter it a little bit if it's

(01:11:19):
OK with you.
Yeah, I guess.
OK.
All right.
I mean, we'll try.
We don't like it.
We can always go back.
We can fix it in post.
We'll do it live.
We'll do it live.
All right.
Well, thank you for joining us, everyone.
We do appreciate your time and we hope to see you next week on Happy Cast.
Until then, remember, keep healthy.

(01:12:05):
Oh, hold on, Caitlin's calling me.
Oh, OK.
Hello, Caitlin.
Hello, Ben.
Hi, you're on the air live with Ben and Brian.
Oh, oh, no.
I was going to ask you an airbag question.
This is not a good time.
Not a good time for a question.
No.
OK.
So my airbag light came on and I was freaking out thinking that when I drive the airbag

(01:12:32):
is just going to explode or something and I'll die.
I was wondering if you could look that up.
But this isn't a good time.
Well, this is car talk.
So.
Oh, I guess that's a good time.
No.
Yeah.
Where are you?
Are you driving?
I am.
I am currently driving.
I have a dog in my lap.
Everything is fine and great and the best.
Brian, do you have any recommendations?
She can't hear you, but I can pass your word.
OK.
So, Brian, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.

(01:12:53):
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Brian, do you have any recommendations?
She can't hear you, but I can pass your word.
Oh, first of all, hello.
Say hello.
No, no, I don't.

(01:13:14):
I'm sorry.
I wish I did.
He said to hit it as hard as you can to make it trigger.
Doesn't sound like a great idea.
OK.
Let me see.
Let me see.
I smell it.
I'm scared.
You smell it?
I can smell it.
It's a crazy smell, it's like burning!
It's like, no!
How close are you to somewhere where people are?
I don't know, I don't know if it's car smell or any airbag smell.

(01:13:39):
Okay, I'm not sure how accurate Angie'sLift.com is, but it says, if it comes on, don't ignore it.
Oh my god, does that mean-
It said it could mean the difference between life and death if you're involved in an accident.
Oh.
It says, alright, the most important thing is that it means you're-
If it's an accident, I thought you were gonna say, as I'm driving in and nothing else is going wrong, I'll just explode and I can die.

(01:14:05):
No, that would be terrible.
No, this says the most important thing is it means that your airbag vaults to the floor.
Oh.
Yes.
I'm not using it right now.
Yeah, you're never using it until you really need it.
I think you might want to go to a station somewhere at some point.

(01:14:29):
If they're still open.
I'm glad that I have the car goers to charge you.
Well, at least just charge really hard and not get hit in the crotch.
I'm not using it right now, but it literally can be my airbag, she's on my lap right now.
Your dog is gonna beat your airbag?
Yes.

(01:14:50):
That seems dangerous for both of you.
I feel like if you crash, she's going to be absorbed into you.
Yes, I am sorry. We will become one.
Well, thanks for calling in to car talk.
Simitize.
This is crazy timing, okay, I'm just gonna listen to the tunes of Hamilton and forget this is happening now.

(01:15:16):
Alright, well good luck and try not to die.
Thank you, you as well to you.
Alright, bye.

(01:15:52):
I'm driving hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes, big like Leanne rhymes, because I'm all about value.
Bert Kampert's got the mad hits, you try to match wits, you try to home me but I bust through.
Can I make a break and take a bake out like a stinkin' aching jacke out like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors.
Can I see the show cause then you'll know the vertigo is gonna go cause it's so dangerous you'll have to sign a waiver.
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad.

(01:16:14):
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean, well you soon will.
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve.
I have a history of taking off my shirt.
It's been one week since you looked at me.
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy.
Five days since you tackled me.
I stayed back the red burns on both my knees.
It's been three days since the afternoon.
You realize it's not my fault that I'm only too soon.

(01:16:35):
Yesterday you'd forgiven me.
Now I'll sit back and wait till you say you're sorry.

(01:16:56):
Chicken you're trying out the Chinese chicken.
You have a drumstick and your brain stops ticking.
Watch an X-Files with no lights on.
We're dollar masons.
I hope the smoky man's in this one like Harrison Ford.
I'm getting frantic like Stingham Tentric.
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy.
Like Kurosawa I make mad films.
K.I. don't make films.
But if I did they'd have a samurai.
Can I get a set of bitter clubs?
You'll find the kind with tiny necks just on my arms.
I know he's flying off the backswing.

(01:17:17):
If you get into my Sailor Moon cause the cartoon has got the boom and I made babes.
That make me think the wrong thing.
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad.
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean, well you soon will.
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve.
I have a history of losing my shirt.
It's been one week since you looked at me.
Dropped your arms to the sides and said I'm sorry.

(01:17:39):
Five days since I laughed at you and said you just did just what I thought you were gonna do.
Three days since our living room.
We realize we're both to blame but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry.
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry.
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry.

(01:18:01):
It's my stadium, home of the Robbie.
Listen.
I've traveled every road in this here land.
I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man.
Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountain air man.

(01:18:22):
I've traveled, I've had my share man, I've been everywhere.
I've been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Matta, Willopalo, Mabanga, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo, Tocopila, Barrancula, Amadilla, I'm a killer.
I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man.

(01:18:45):
Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountain air man.
I've traveled, I've had my share man, I've been everywhere.
I've been to Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texas, the County of Monterey, Faraday, Santa Fe, Tala, Plusa, Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oscar Luce, Tennessee, Tennessee, Jacobus, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devils Lake, Crater Lake, The Beach Lake.

(01:19:09):
I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man.
Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountain air man.
I've traveled, I've had my share man, I've been everywhere.
I've been to Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Long Bobacka, Shefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Coastal Rock, the Pitchfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Sariport, Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport, Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantino, Pasadena, Catalina, see what I mean.

(01:19:37):
I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man.
Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountain air man.
I've traveled, I've had my share man, I've been everywhere.
I've been to Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelburg, Colorado, Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, El Dorado, Laramore, Atmore, Habistow, Chattanooga, Chaston, Nebraska, Alaska, Opal, Acaberra, Boonewater, New Calamans, New Kansas City, Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City, Whatta Pity.

(01:20:05):
I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man.
Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountain air man.
I've traveled, I've had my share man, I've been everywhere.
I've been everywhere.

(01:20:47):
I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man.
Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountain air man.
I've traveled, I've had my share man.
I've been everywhere.
I've been Greenville, Toronto, Winslow, Arizona, Wichita, Toronto, Arizona, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama.

(01:21:14):
So where in America is it?
It's just a little bit north of East Dakota.