Eddie chat pod #3 - McCain oven chips really care about your family

Later than expected... But delivered in time for your daily commute, or a welcome distraction from the boredom of work.  

The level of over production  hasn't been seen since GNR's (1991) Use your illusions: Double Album. A rich tapestery of the high grade, class A waffle. From musing over movie posters to big buisness baddies. Sports Direct Air Max to chips. Bedsheets, ladies fashion and parlimentary wrongens. 

Too much pub talk to condense into just one blurb. 

Creator support:
Patreon@Hardy Bucks 
Paypal/maloneysdigest 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh, welcome to this humble podcast. Hope you enjoy the
very crack on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
With mey Dik.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Because it's hard talk coming off the dome, just me
and my microphone, our chat in the heat of the night.

(01:19):
Wish I had the kind of podcast, the one everybody
he listens to. The controversial opinions would elude you, and
thou would agree with the mainstream consensus, handy sponsorship deals.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
And my swearing would bacup to.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
I was going. That was a little song made up
off the dome, straight from the top.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Of the dome.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Rock rock rock, rock rock. The microphone Freeze Stylars Finish
Outfit from two thousand had a pain.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
In a mini disk with dreadlocks, dreadlocks, dreadlocks in the
finish subway.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Sister mean heals in gay.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
I was going. You will, lads and ladies, you will.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
Oh, if there's anything that you want, if there's out
that I can do, get in touch with me on.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
X at Eddie Durkin. What's going man? Welcome back to
the podcast series two, Part three. In a room there's
no other places. That's a song by Dodgy. I don't
know why, man, I just don't know fucking why, but
I always have to break into random tunes. It's the

(02:57):
way my mind works, do you know what I mean?
Russell crow Job, Yeah, he was just a lad in
a film called Beautiful Mind. As you know you've been
listening to this, there is a lot of film trivia
that just pops out of my brain. I don't watch
films nowadays, man, because I just realized that it's a

(03:17):
lot of people pretending, you know what I mean. I
remember I was in London a couple of years ago.
We all started like and there was a bus going past.
I think I was up near Islington or fucking Dalston,
and I saw the rock and Kevin eene Hart on
the side of a bus. I think it was called
ride Along. And funny enough, there is a book about

(03:39):
writing screenplays called Save the Cat by Blake Schneider, and
he'd written this show called ride Along, which was basically
about a man who goes out with his brother in
law who's a cop, and he rides along in the car.
But then they turned that into a film featuring the
rock and Kevin een Heart and I remember, look at

(04:03):
the side of this bus, yeah, and there was the
rock Kevin een heart holding pistols. This is the this
is the mad thing about the States. Yeah that in
the States it is indeed plausible for lads just to
carry handguns like you wouldn't get that even in England, man,

(04:26):
And that's that's a mad spot. But because guns are
outload in England. Look, look, man, if you're a criminal
and your intentions are to hold someone up or coerce
people via intimidation and violence at gunpoint, you can get
your hands on a weapon, do you know what I mean?
I know boys who can who know boys And if

(04:49):
you want, man, they can, they can find you a weapon,
do you know what I mean? It might be the
bottom of a snooker queue or something.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
But still.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
But over in the States, man, you've got you can
go into a Walmart and buy a shotgun, do you
know what I mean? And in someplace you don't even
need IDs, Like I'm buying that gun there, man, Yeah,
what are you going to do with it? Never you mind, man,
never you mind? Sound? How much is that four hundred clams?

(05:18):
Great stuff? You just walk out of a shop with
a gun. Now, with the likes of ride along there.
I stood there as a grown man somewhere in my
mid to late thirties. I can't remember exactly when it was.
Maybe it was nine years ago, Maybe it's a good
while to goo. Actually twenty sixteen job, and I remember

(05:39):
looking at Kevin Hart's face and his faced expression. You
could tell when they were taking the promotional pictures after
the film was done, they got some boys in from Universal,
did a proper job day in the studio. Few bob
into the claw for their efforts, and you can see
Kevin Hart's face was like, look at me. I'm a

(06:01):
mad little lad who's out of my element, hanging around
with this big lad who's a hard hitting cop played
by Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock. And there he was,
man with his little face being all like, what am
I doing out here?

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Man?

Speaker 3 (06:19):
Shit be crazy out here?

Speaker 2 (06:23):
One more thing.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Before I go. I remember watching a program there or
at Little Job, some guy charisma man can't remember his name.
He was talking about stand up comedy, and apparently what
Kevin Hart does to keep the audience engaged, he says
one more thing before I go, which lets the audience

(06:46):
know that he's about to leave and therefore they must
give their undivided attention to him before he leaves in
order to get their money's worth out of the experience.
It's a little bit like if you're playing songs in
a pub and you go right, one more song, and
all these people who come up to the end of

(07:06):
the night going Contry Roads, please play Contry Roads, and
I'm like, no, man, I already played this. Play wonder Wall,
Contry Roads. And then you're like, oh God, here we go.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Almost Heaven, West Virginia.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Kevin Haigh and the Rock on the side of London
bus pretending to be shooting guys and takeing their life.
It's a comedy about.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Two dudes with difverse backgrounds.

Speaker 5 (07:53):
It's a buddy movie about two brothers in laws shooting guns,
killing bad guys.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
I see American films. They love the guns. Fucking batch
that card up. Someone's ringing me. It is my friend.
Here's from Chile. Let me answer this. Hello my brother. Hello,
how are you my brother?

Speaker 5 (08:27):
I'm fine.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
I'm doing a podcast at the moment, but you're on
the podcast. But I call you later when it's done.
You are my brother and I love you, my brother.
Adeos elfte de moscoso, see child ah, talk to you soon.

(08:57):
I'm just gonna leave that in, man, because I can't
be bothered pressing to stop button. Yeah. So this has
gone on a bit longer than I expected. About the
old Kevin Hart stuff, yeah, and the Rock, but all
of was. What I'm meant to say is like, like
I looked at the faces of Kevin Hart and the Rock,
you know, the Rock with his fucking can you smell?

(09:17):
But the Rock is cooking the old classic trademark eyebrow
lift the arched eyebrow in almost like curiosity meets smug.
I'm the man at you, right, two boys are there
with the guns, and I thought to himself, there they

(09:38):
are playing characters right that are like engaged in firefights
with misscreens within the film, and you know, like and
everyone's like, ah, it was a great comedy, man, And
people are be like, Turkin, what's your problem talking about? Like,
so what I enjoy watching film. I'm the kind of

(10:01):
guy who gets invited to the screening of the film
or premiers. I love films, films of my life. I
wasn't Dublin there right before Christmas in November, and I
was in a pub above it's called the Giddy Dolphin, right,
and there was a lad there at the bar, right,
and he was talking about how the eternals have human DNA,

(10:25):
like he was talking about this like some marvel bollocks,
like it was real life. He's like, yeah, you know,
turns out that the you know, the eternals, they actually
have DNA from humans, so they're actually from Earth. But
they they left for a bit and came back, and
I was like, it's all made up bollocks, man, do

(10:46):
you know what I mean? There's there's this real shit
going on in the world, like shit, do you know
what I mean? And these kind of people, these are
the kind of people who you know, they'll just latch
onto whatever the media tells them all that they're the baddies.
Where the goodies. We are liberators and spreaders of democracy.
We do not question us. Do your duty as a citizen.

(11:10):
It is your duty to obey, do not look behind
the curtain, whatever you do, Chris Rock or sorry, Kevin Hart.
He's got a fake gun. Maybe it's a real gun,
but it's got blanks in it. And then they're all
there on the second Ah.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
I'm here, Ah.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
Made up oul shite man. Do you know it's a
nice way to make a living the fucking very nice
way to make a living. See, once the foot is
in the door at all, you're away with it, man.
Coin When it gets to the point where you're that
busy and you're looking at the script to someone sends
in your agent sends in the script, and it's like Richard's, Oh,
they want to see you for this part. Do you want

(11:56):
to come in? They want to see it for this part?
And you're like, you know what, I'm too busy, man,
what kind of what kind of money? She benched Christopher Walken, Well,
they've offered a preliminary one point five million dollars as
a down payment to change. Don't know, man, who's directing it.
Adam Sandler's in it. He's class Adam Sandlers It fuck me, man,

(12:22):
who's next? David Spade and the boys? All right, tell them,
tell them, I'll think about it. I've just got to
do another movie with the rock and Jack Blat out
of their fucking class. That's the way it goes, man.
As soon as you're in there, you're buying a house
down in Malibu. Oh, bad old form there with the

(12:44):
old Malibu jobs, isn't it bad? Old form? Place? Gone
up in the Blaze, all right, So that was the intro,
talking about a about why I think movie promotional posters
or daft as fuck, And I suppose in many ways
a lot of the things that I held sacred in

(13:05):
my youth I realized are fucking daft. Do you know
what I mean? And what's next? Ai? Hey, I was
putting everyone out the job now, law, illustration, art, music, literature,

(13:26):
they're all the latest casualties to AI. Do you know
what I mean? It's like, AI, can you make me
a can you make me a picture?

Speaker 2 (13:33):
There?

Speaker 3 (13:35):
And the picture looks good but it can't spell, and
I was like, well, what good is that? But you know,
they do a really good job of making images, but
then you can't even doctor the images on photoshop because
my waste experience of photoshop is pretty limited. I know
what it in college about twenty two year ago. Man,

(13:57):
you know what I mean? But it's it's it's too complicated.
Why can't they learn how to spell? You prompt in
can you do this? And write this? And it comes
back and it's like, let's say, if you're trying to
write I don't know, turbo, it'll say taboo or something
and it's like I wouldn't mind. But the font looks great,
the grading of the letters, the color scheme, the shadowing,

(14:20):
the depth of the font fantastic, But completely fucking spelled wrong.
Makes no sense. How do they not? How do they
get that wrong? Have a word with the AI boys. Yeah, crypto,
but you know all these boys who went to college
in the graphics design or you know music. I mean,

(14:41):
nowadays people are just putting in dooby prompts saying can
you make me a hard rock song that encapsulates the
mood of two teenagers smoking a doobie on a Californian
beach side, talking about the summer ahead of them, their plans.

(15:01):
They're about step foot into the world of college big bowlers,
and then it'll come up with some sort of invigorating
rock touch, you know what I mean? What's next? Like
rope We're just going to gigs and watching robots play
music because that's where it's going, lads. And then what

(15:22):
happens to the wrestlers robots will do for free. Then,
you know what I mean, the promoters going, I don't worry, lads,
They've got a robot. He can play all the notes
on the guitar. You may as well say, what's the
point of me even playing the guitar? He may as
well build a guitar into the robot and then you
just play himself, And then what's the point of it?
Do you know what I mean? What the hell are
we supposed to do about all these graphics designers and

(15:45):
illustrators and copywriters and musicians. Then they'd be added to
the slag heap of unemployment. They look at the UK
man and the US correcs. Fuck now, man, all the
jobs are gone, and robots, Maggie Thatcher, neo liberal policies
all gaunt Asia and to robots boys charging a fortune.

(16:06):
Then to US consumers in the West. How did that have?
How did that ever get allowed? You know, you might
be like, oh, turkymen, he's such a fucking nissy. What
are you man? Some people say your right wing, other
people see your left wing. A I'm just a fucking man,
just a man with a man's courage. Listen, man, it's

(16:31):
just I don't know, like I've been spending too much
time in the Internet and either look at things and
I think we're all being screwed. Man, big willies, keep
it local, keep it true, Your fleece your breed, barm you.
All I'm saying is a lot of boys making big
money out of us, a lot of bad boys such
as black Rock. Look it up, man, it's on the

(16:54):
web pages. They have more money than the annual GDP
of the EU. Dutchy boy country is gone to be
countries in name only, but there'd be some shadowy corporations
that own everything. Sure, it's already happened, like that black
Rock man, Larry Fink two in the pink. Do you
know what I mean that lad? He's a wrong gan,

(17:17):
a wrongan, and they're the biggest sponsor of the world
economic formal fuck off. Just look it up, man, it's
it's it's all there.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
Look it up.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
God knows how many trillions they have. Let let me
look up. Let me let me just look up. How
many trillions black Rock own, black Rock asset portfolio. Let's
look at this.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Still be the fucking game.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
Worth? Maybe I was a bit too ambiguous. Okay, So
According to Wikipedia, black Rock Ink as an American multinational
investment company found in nineteen eighty eight. Initially as an
enterprise risk management and fixed income institutional asset manager. Black
Rock is the world's largest asset manager, with eleven point

(18:13):
five trillion in assets under the management as of December
thirty first, twenty twenty three. About it, eleven point five trillion.
Don't forget that the USA is now in thirty five
trillion dollars worth of debt. Who owns that debt? I
mean that that is a debt designed never to be

(18:34):
paid back, And you're thinking to yourself, who owns it?

Speaker 2 (18:38):
I mean.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Who who? I ask you? So let's just to put
this into perspective, right, eleven point five as of December
twenty twenty three. Let's put in twenty twenty five and
see what they're worth now in case you're fucking wondering, Well,
the soprano sound boards to come from my chanet. But oh,

(19:03):
in myself when I check out the numbers and run
of the numbers and this fucking thing, you know what
I'm saying? What is the net worth of Black Rock
Company twenty twenty four? Eleven point six trillion? All right,
they've they've gone up another yes, hundred billion, right, So
let's look at Ireland's GDP. That's not Ireland's gross domestic

(19:23):
product twenty twenty four.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
I don't like that kind of talk.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Okay, let me see, let me see. Uh, come on,
your bastards, I just wanted Okay. Here it says the
gross domestic product in Ireland is estimated to be six
one hundred and eighty nine billion dollars by the end
of twenty twenty five. So the GDP, and let's face it, right,
most of that comes from companies having an address in Ireland.

(19:51):
It's not true. That's what it is. The GDP is
the fact that Ireland has a very generous law corporation.
Tax I did not have her. That's how does that
trickle down to the boys in the street. Why is
it that if you want to find an apartment in
Dublin you have to queue up with about one hundred
and fifty people coming to look at an apartment. Man, Now,
what is going on? It's a Dickensian nightmare. Our parents

(20:14):
could have bought a house and if you're one of
those boys back in the agies, you could buy a
council house a five thousand pounds. Now look at us
fucking queue up to get a bloody room on daft
dot Ie. And this is the thing that people don't
even get miffed about. You know what I mean, This
is the thing that people just willingly accept and handling
and what can you do about it? Time for counts

(20:34):
to get fucking mad. Take pickaxe handles, start smashing up
the gaft, you know what I mean? Violins they're fuck
who even are you?

Speaker 6 (20:42):
Man?

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Who even are you? Batht bath that's had done it?
Walk in batht. I mean, just look at the likes
of Burnley, Blackburn, Sheffield, Barnsley. What are they filled with?
Now Aldi's and boarded up businesses, unemployment, citizens having to

(21:06):
turn to drinking white lightning cider and appearing on the
Jeremy Kyle Show Jammy Kyle ooh wonkey car and cocaine
dressed in tracksuits from sports Direct sports DIRECTMN, I mean,
what does that mean? Do you want to get directly
to the sports section of this shop? Hey, the whole

(21:28):
thing is a sports section. I went into sports Direct
once down fucking Worthing in the South of England. Don't
ask me why I was there, and it was the
most depressing collection of Nike air Max you know what
I mean. They were like the kind of air Max
that kids in England who were banned on having trainers
could bypass the law of the school by wearing Nike

(21:52):
air Max that were so dull and boring without any
discernible features. They were so dull and boring that they
they could get away of saying that they are shoes.
You know what happened to the what happened to the
old days man, where you know, you go down to
a cobbler and they'd make a pair of like, they'd

(22:13):
make you a pair of shoes that would last ten years,
do you know what I mean? Instead, it's just some
glue together polyurethane upper shite glued together by some poor
bastards in China who were just sitting there for fifteen
hours a day putting these things together. You know what

(22:33):
I mean? Fucking Nike Air Jordan's Air Force ones nineties.
You know, like how much? Let me see how much?
How much does it cost to make a pair of
Nike air Max. The actual cost breakdown totals at twenty

(22:58):
eight point fifty. This means Nike makes a profit of
twenty one point fifty on one hundred dollars sneaker. Right.
I'm sure that there's tariffs and import tax and that
as well. But okay, let's say it like, Okay, let's
just look at the actual cost breakdown twenty eight to
fifty if that If that is the case, right, so
let's look at a pair of Nike air Max Ireland price.

(23:27):
Fuck me man, Nike air Max dn X is maya
French one hundred and seventy nine euro, right, So what's
that one hundred and seventy nine euro in dollars one
hundred and eighty four euro right? Okay, So that's basically

(23:52):
twenty eight dollars and the consumer price is one hundred
and eighty four Okay. How much how much does a
Nike factory worker make in China per week? Right? A

(24:16):
typical worker at the plant might earn around four hundred
dollars a month, depending on position and overtime. Four hundred
dollars right. So imagine you live in China and you
make these shoes, and you come over to Ireland, let's say,
and you see that a price, the price of the

(24:37):
very shoes you make that you handle every day. You
know what I mean, You're sick of looking at them.
There's that many of them that basically two pairs of
them is the equivalent of your entire monthly salary I mean,
am I the only one here that is just fucking
screaming into the void looking at the fucking state of

(24:58):
the world. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Waity minute and Lincoln your milch when you're choking.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
A boot, go on, gon't buy your air Max man?
Good lad you do that? Max? You do that? You
know what I mean? I don't know. Sometimes I just
I just think to myself, like, you know, of course
I'm getting old.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Now.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
These are the kind of things that come with age.
Like when I was a kid, it would be like,
because I had sized twelve shoes and I wouldn't make
them any any bigger than size eleven. So when it
came to the time where I was giving a few
bob to get shoes, the only Niare Max I could
get was whatever was on the the reduced to clear,
usually like weird gaudy colors and designs, you know, like

(25:44):
they never did night Are nineties in my size. So
I had to go without fucking Nike Air. Pressure on
young people, man. See, the thing is with young people,
as in kids and young adults, is they're easily beguiled
with trinkets, and it's because they put pressure on each
other and I remember a couple of weeks ago I

(26:06):
was with the Young book. I'm in a shop and
I've seen mister Beast chocolate going for four euro for
a thin wallet of mister Beast chocolate. And then beside
the chocolates I seen there was Milka Dame Cadbury's. You know,

(26:26):
these chocolates are all owned by Mandolaz, which is now
basically acquired. So if you look at up these chocolates,
like you know, you'd have bits of biscuit and fucking
jelly toots and all this shite thrown into them. That's
because these factories have now merged together and they're basically
you know, which I understand. You know, it's a good

(26:47):
way of instead of wasting stock, put them into a
chocolate bar and make them into some sort of cool scheme.
But basically what I oh, yeah, so I said, say
that there mister Beat's chocolate. Mister Beast, the great philanthropist,

(27:10):
the great mister Beast, who everyone's like, oh, mister Beast.
Mister Beast is amazing, is he or is he a
bit of a wrongin? I don't know much about him,
but he seems to be quite explosative under the guise
of philanthropy, like someone else. We know who I'll go
into later on, mister beast. And I tell you one thing.

(27:31):
The chocolate, right, I picked one of them up and
it was broken because it was so fragile because he
put fuck old chocolate into it. And then these two
boys come in right with their pocket money, and they're like, wow, cool,
mister Beat's chocolate, and they and they bought two each.
And I said to the kids, I said, you see
that there? Do yeah? Do you see that there? That's marketing.

(27:56):
And a mister Beast has no scruples about taking pocket
money off children. And you might say, well, if they
want to buy mister Beats chocolate makes them happy than
for a place of them. Look, that's I was lowered
into that kind of shit myself. Back in the nineties.
Don't push me push a push pop. Everyone had to
get the push pop, which is basically a lollipop in

(28:18):
a tube centered around the plastic center that held the
thing together and used to be able to push up
the push pop, give it a good suck, and then
put the lid on later on. But I was always
a bit weird about things like that, like lollipops and
push pops that like. You know, I never liked the
idea of having to return to something later on that

(28:39):
already had your saliva on it. Didn't like it. I
was also the same kind of guy, and even to
this day, I cannot share dairy products with people, probably
because I once seen my auntie in law feeding her
daughter and she was like eating the yogurts but then
like taping it off herself and then giving it the baby.

(29:00):
And I was like, oh, dairy products, Like I like
dairy products. Man, don't get me wrong, yogurts. There are
sound jobs. Now where am I? Now? Yeah? Yeah, I
was talking about supermarket chains expanding, like the likes of
your littles and Neuralities and your Tescos and up up
in Northern English towns. Men, you know what I mean,
like cash Converters, sports Direct and these same supermarket chains

(29:25):
that flood your TV screens with endless shite adverts that
employ Since he is sounding Northern English voiceovers designed to
sound endearing and informal, I'm from Wigging. You can trust me.
The McCain oven chips will benefit you in your family. Aye,

(29:45):
That's what matters at end of the Day Family and
McCain oven chips. You can trust us because way from
the north, you see way one of you. Wait, wait, wait, wait,
we understand that when you come. I'm I'm tired from
working in dead end job. Kids from school a shouting
the hungry. You just want to get a lord of

(30:07):
McCain oven chips. Stick them in oven. You're not a
main because this is our adverts are adverts, man, I
fucking hate them. I was in London there at the
weekend watching Bloody It TV two in a hotel. It's
watching Harry Potter and fucking the Prisoner of as a

(30:28):
Bajan or whatever the fuck they call it, Gary oldman
job and I was like, gosh, we'll watch this fucking
shiite while it's on.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Harry Potter.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Harry Potter, grown ass, fucking grown ups going around to
Universal Studios with ones. Quick, Harry, let's go in here, Harry,
Harry quick. Oh it's fumble Puff and squad swath. Wha
fucking grown ass actors talking to kids.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
Harry.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
It's much too dangerous, Harry. You must release the goblet
from dumble Swayze. Harry Potter, man, you know what I mean?
And then then you got like between that then was
the ad breaks with like what was there was one
about cremating people cream a care when I go, I

(31:16):
want to be making sure that I don't lumber my
loved ones with my decomposing corpse.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
What was it?

Speaker 3 (31:23):
Pure cremation, That's what it was called. Man Ah, they
will be happy. Life insurance?

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Are you old?

Speaker 3 (31:31):
Are you on the way to God's waiting room? Get
this life assurance? Do you know what I mean? Like,
I mean, that's the kind of thing. I just always
watch these adverts right about like life insurance policies, and
I'd be like, how depressant? Do you know what I mean?
But this is what happens when you get older, you know,
when you get older, Like it's nowadays that I'm thinking

(31:53):
about pensions. I'm like, Jesus Man, pensions. You know you're
getting old when you're starting to think have I left
anything behind for when I get old and I'm too
old to do anything and I'm so old that basically
I'm irrelevant and people are like, you know, I remember
years ago going to this when we were doing the
Hardy Books film and we were driving through Wales. We

(32:17):
went into this place it was like a market and all,
and they were selling like the Flying Scotsman DVD collection
Scottish steam trains, and I was thinking, fuck me, man,
this is depressing. But the stuff you're into now right,
Like have you know have you seen lads who were

(32:38):
maybe like in their mid sixties, but they're going around
with like Fred Perry Clubber and uh, you know, a
dressing like Paul Weller and it's like that censered time
lads with mard haircuts, Fred Perry Clubber going when they're
in the nursing home, they're going to be dress stuff

(33:00):
in Parker jackets and stuff. And then you know, the
younger generation will have fashion that's totally different what I mean,
like about what are you supposed to do? Like that's
that's the thing, like when people people reach a certain age,
then fashion is both cemented into their psyche. But also

(33:25):
if you're too old and you're dressing in young people's club,
then you look weird too. So what are you supposed
to do? Like did you ever see those catalogs with
like lads my age model and stuff? It would be
like a zip up cardigan, a pair of slacks and
some slip on shoes designed for like old men. You know,
it's it's like, I don't know, man, I don't know

(33:47):
how this has happened. I guess it was just a
thread that went from talking about crap adverts on TV.

Speaker 7 (33:55):
Adverts on TV you can trust us and the little
ones with take oh We're so disarming, and Rickie Tomlson
macane oven chips, Yeah, they're great.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
Get macane oven chips. We here about your family? Do
you know what? Man? How about grow your own fucking
spots out the back and make your own ships. I mean, look,
I can't talk. I don't have anything growing, and I
know I'd be totally fucked if it was an emergency,
we all would. I mean, really, I should take my
own advice on that. I want screwed chili peppers and

(34:29):
basil fat use that would be drawing a famine. I'd
have the skinny hoop burnt off me while munching on
basil leaves for dessert. But what have we become? Man?
If it wasn't for the dedicated farmers working their ballocks
off to get up at five in the morning to
cultivate and harvest crops and livestock, we beating other people's pets.

(34:51):
And if you're a scholar of history like myself, you'll
notice that the farmers are always being targeted by baddies. See.
The reason is the farmer can live off the land.
These boys are self sufficient. They might have an owl
orchard there of the back, couple of apples, grow some spuds, carrots, chickens,
pigs like. Sure, they don't have like toffee, crisps or whispers,

(35:18):
but in terms of like the raw ingredients, they can
make some pretty tasty stuff like stews. They keep themselves
going off the land, do you know what I mean.
That's why the farmers were always viewed as being enemies
of the state in some ways. Because of their self
sufficiency and what they don't grow themselves. They can trade

(35:38):
with neighbors in a cooperative that do have the things
that they lack. Farmers' markets. You see farmers' markets, and
I'll tell you one thing, man, if the farmers go down,
we're screwed. I don't actually think people realize how dangerously
close at any given time we are to like a
mad Max style dystopia shit storm kicking off at any

(35:59):
more moment. Any disruption to supply chains will have a
huge knock on effect. I mean you hear the crack
with Guinness now. Man Oh, there's a Guinness shortage. Some
say it's because of the recent popularity in the splitting
the g phenomena, in other words, drinking the first sup
of a big gulp designed to have the foam and

(36:20):
the body of the stout land horizontally across the middle
of the g. In the name Guinness, remember that years ago.
I've spoken about this on the on the Hardy book
before Born of her Land, Paul O'Connell job, Guinness Rugby.

(36:43):
There's the lad there called Joey Barry from Kulchama there
told me he was up in Dublin a few nights ago.
He ended up spending fifteen to eighty on a pint
of Guinness in Temple Bar. Fucking scandalous stuff, man. I
blame it on the Ukrainian grain shortage to be fair.
Like there's been a big war happening over there the

(37:03):
last couple of years, like you know that could have
some sort of supply chain disruption going on in the
Black Sea. Fucking daft shite. Waste the time in life.
But back to the crack in the UK with this
inheritance tax for the farmers. They did the same in
Ireland there after the recession. Fucking charging leads inheritance tacks
the bastards. What happens if the farmers can't afford to

(37:24):
pay the tax taking a shirt of a man's bat?
Is the land repossessed then and sold off? Who's buying?
Who's gonna buy it?

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Then?

Speaker 3 (37:33):
That Bill Gates wanker in black Rock and fition man, Fition, man,
you fucking idiot. Wake up, smell the dushed. They're building
the fucking walls around you, not giving out about you,
the regular listener, you know what I mean? Wake up
instead of being swallowing all the ship that you're fucking

(37:55):
that you see on the news, do you know what
I mean? Durkin's gone mad, Durkens listen, man, just look
at history. You know we're getting to a point where
life has become cheap. And when life becomes cheap and
you get bad lads, all it takes, man, is for

(38:16):
one bad lad and a gang of cohorts to take
over and the ship will hit the fan. I mean
the nation of Ireland, man had a famine, and I
know that's years ago, man, that's years ago. It's years ago.
But we got technology and phones and and and and tablets.

(38:40):
Yeah we do. But like I said, all it all,
it needs some sort of supply chain chain breakdown. And
if you're living in a city, I look at l
A now man. Anytime there's some sort of disaster, losers.
Losers are cool takeover people that get desperate smash you know,

(39:03):
I really feel sorry for those people in LA to
be honest with you, like do you know what I mean?
Like losing their home man and everything bad form man,
you know, And where's the money? Like they can give
like eight hundred billion the government give it away your
tax money. But yet they've no money to fucking help

(39:25):
these people. What I see in a check of seven
hundred and seventy dollars, what's that going to do? I
don't know. But back to your Bill Gates crack. According
to a three year old Guardian article, Gates has been
buying farmland like it's going out of fashion, and he
now owns more farmland than the entire Native American nation.

(39:48):
He's only a wanker. Imagine those power bastards. They're just
living there in accordance with the land. Next thing, they're
fucking driven off the land and genocided. Yeah, and now
Bill Gates owns more land than the entire collective of
all the Native American tribes. He's the number one owner

(40:10):
of farmland in the USA. Why does one man need
that much farmland? It'd make you wonder. And like I
said earlier in the podcast, God's not making any more land?
Am I right? Do you hear me?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Bill?

Speaker 3 (40:23):
You never know he could be listening. You never fucking no, Man,
I know what you're gonna say. Man, Oh, here he
goes again. Yeah, talking about Bill Gates. The man is
a humanitarian superpower. He's unreal. I won't have a bad
word said about him because I once read he gave

(40:44):
all his money away to charity. Not a bad move,
not bad at all. I remember years ago, Man, twenty ten,
I think it was I saw fucking Jim Corer talking
on I don't know some fucking I think it was
Brendan O'Connell Carol Connell's talking about how we're gonna be

(41:10):
put into some sort of like technological prison that we
can't get out, and everyone was like, JIU, Jim Fords
a mad Bustard's fucking people are laughing. I was thinking
that sounds plausible enough, but what are you're talking about, madness?
And I was like, no, people shut up red at

(41:33):
Ireland jobs in offices. I mean, to be fair. At
this stage, I think anyone who's listening to this podcast
is probably sticking with it despite my picnic tod FM.
Something's going on, man, something's going on. I mean, when
you think about the technology, it's great, like but Love Island. Yeah,
it's gonna sucking put the kibosh on things if we

(41:54):
let it. We get in place, and you know what
I mean, if you show me some evidence, then I'll
admit him wrong that points to the contrary. I'll say
fair enough. But the problem is nowadays nobody can admit
the wrong and they'll go down and they'll they'll go
down with the ship or die on many a fucking
tenuous hill rather than just say yeah, fair enough. I

(42:18):
was lured in with some bollocks. I mean, look at
it now. Things are getting so desperate that Lily Blue
had to have sex with one thousand and seventy men
in one day, man. I mean, that's a lot of
flutes to be handled them one day, man. And at
the end of the day only fans sane amounts of

(42:39):
pipce digital prostitution. Let's just call it what it is,
sex work. Stop kink shaming. I shut up your brainwashed bastards,
You fucking daft bastards. That's what desperate young women are
choosing to do nowadays because the rent is so high
and the price of living is insane, especially when you're
paying over the odds for handbags and makeup. And you

(43:01):
might think yourself, any man, you've been success for saying that.
Fuck you, I say sorry. I just wanted to say
that because you jumped in. You jumped the gun too soon.
You're waiting to pounce on the man girls. Look I'm
on your side. Man, I have at least five girlfriends
to look after because I'm a real femidom. I know

(43:23):
the crack well woo man, I see how much a
tube of lankam ascara costs a good twenty five lids.
Fuck that crack man, Just rob it. Next time you're
out with the old pick up two trick stick the
second up your sleeve. Put one back, but don't forget

(43:44):
to buy something. We'll get done. Max Factor Face Finity
toning water moisturizer, lipstick, hair products, clothes, toilet trees, perfumes, jewelry.
I mean the cost of this man, the kind of
thing I think women spend money on, costs an arm
and a leg, and that's before food, rent, travel, nice cushions, blankets,

(44:07):
hand towels, curtains, sheets and doilies pop pure Notwithstanding, God Man,
I wish my hard talk wasn't solely geared to the
hard nutter male audience. If only I were able to

(44:28):
talk about Kardashians, the real housewives of patum Mannank, Nikki
Clark hair straighteners, I'd have throngs of women coming to
me gigs, throwing Mark Jacob's shoes and Jimmy Chew handbags
at me. I'd be just like that gokwan lad funny enough.
Gkwan is an emigrant for go wank. I heard that

(44:52):
once at a weed split session in Galway in a
gaff once. If you're listening to this and you indeed
remember saying this to me in the years two thousand
and five twenty twelve, please get in touch. If you
did indeed coin that anagram gockwank, gockwan and go wank.

(45:15):
If you did indeed tell me that joke. Please get
in touch so I can give you credit for that
little tidbit. Now I'm on this thread for a bit, Ladies,
Please don't discount me for my rough talking ways. I'm
actually a nice guy. Just ask my mum. She's a woman,
and a bloody good one at that. I'm gonna buy

(45:36):
her a deep plane facelift for a seventy fifth so
she can look a good sixty five again that said,
she telled me to shove it instead, take her on
a trip to Lords for a bit of mass, a
bit of a prayer session, to pray for the state
of this world and the very fact the whole of
Western civilization is crumbling faster than a chuck the digestive

(46:00):
biscuit in a cup of afternoon tea. See, ladies, and
my mum, I can keep it clean when I want to.
But then the hard lads that are already listening to
this might be like, oh, Durkin's gone soft to shite
man talking about doilies and cotton sheets from the Orient,
fancy ones from the House of Fraser. And I'll say here, lads,

(46:24):
for tough guys, you sure do know a lot about
Egyptian cotton, which I'm told is supposed to be class
for having lovely kIPS in. Back in the Galway days,
I remember lads self included slept on bear mattresses with
the inner part of a duvets bedding. That was all

(46:45):
they needed. And it amazes me how women came back
to these gaffes and spent nights of coitus with us
in such rough housing situations, saying that though I've met
women over the years that living complete shitholes rival to
lads I met who did tarmacing for a living and

(47:08):
didn't know how to clean showers after them. Buzz once
lived in a house where there was a gang of
lads doing tarmacing. Took shower there at once there was
mushrooms growing in the shower. I don't know what kind
of species of mushrooms they were, but they were growing there, man,
And I was thinking to myself, how can you not

(47:32):
just rub a cloth and a mop around the place.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
Man.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
You know, I'm not a stifler for the scrubbing down
of surfaces, but Jesus, lads, why didn't you just take
an out cloth? But this is what happens some lads.
They just don't understand the concept of dwelling. And that's
just how it goes. Comes down to your individual taste.

(47:59):
How much time, money, and efforts you're willing to spend
on creature comforts in your living quarters. If you're now
over twenty five and you're still living in Squalor, maybe
it's time to reassess the situation. And there's that lad
with a penchant for lobsters. Jordan Patterson says.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Clean your room. There's one thing you can do.

Speaker 8 (48:21):
Yeah, you know, you can actually have the power to
change that. Clean your room. Once you clean your room,
you declutter your mind because the environment you're in is clean.
It's not distracting.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
You know what. Your buddy better well, buddy, no, you're
sitting in a dirty room.

Speaker 8 (48:43):
You better watch out because a lot of distractions. Chain
and Able makes me so mad. People come up to
me after my seminars.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
And make speeches. And he told me, Benship, Heiro to
see you like the father you never had.

Speaker 8 (49:00):
Makes me so sad.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
That people in Gorby City, young men.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
Lying there in the bed schlubs, nothing.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
But a dove. They don't even know what the dove could.

Speaker 8 (49:13):
Rocks littered and bedbugs and they can't breathe because they've
got a lergic reaction to the extrement of these bed bugs.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
They've got hives, shtink dogs.

Speaker 8 (49:25):
And it would be remedied very easily by just going
into a Pennies or Done stores and brang even the
most basic doocy.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
Linen and doove.

Speaker 3 (49:34):
Beds Ford Combo, Fair Blady, Jordan Man, Great advice Man,
Great advice. Conversely, I knew a lad from school who
came as part of a brotherly double act known as
Blaine and Eric. He and the brother Eric. They did
wealth themselves. They were proper academic lads, well bred, courteous,

(49:58):
nice boys. I tried me best to harden them up
and lead them astray over the years, just to prepare
them for the world of hard nutters that awaited them.
But the mother wore the pants in that family, and
she wouldn't let them out on a Sunday. They were
always after their grannies every Sunday. And even though the

(50:19):
car was often to be seen in the driveway, it
was once in a very blue moon you'd see those
boys on a Sunday. One day, Me and the boys,
not those boys, other boys, we stood outside their door
on a Sunday afternoon, ringing the doorbell in a bid
to call their bluff. We took turns ringing the bell

(50:43):
non stop. Turbo was there, making sure to keep the
button held down without releasing it in a relay of dedication.
We never once lifted the bell. It just buzzed and
buzzed and buzzed for twenty five minutes, solid to the

(51:06):
point where we'd forgotten why we'd embarked on this mission.
Didn't stop us though it was a bammie Sunday in July.
We must have been about fifteen sixteen, typical clammy overcast
Sunday afternoon, with nothing to do but hard time stuck

(51:26):
in Castle down. See us lads, we were allowed to
do as we pleased. Our parents didn't care much for
the rules of staying in on a Sunday. I always
thought that was weird men that some lads weren't allowed
out on a Sunday. Couldn't do it, wasn't allowed. See,

(51:48):
we were roaming the town looking for cheap thrills and
trouble from anyone that'd give us some. And the brother's house,
being centrally located, was our HQ for rainy day and
without it we would have to resort to standing around
underneath the ball Alley observation deck, or under the Tree

(52:08):
of Knowledge, a massive conifer tree that must have been
over one hundred years old. It's still standing to this day,
that still standing strong. The tree itself called the Tree
of Knowledge for no good reason. Well, maybe looking back,
I have gained knowledge since, but maybe I need to

(52:28):
go back to this tree, put my hand on it
and feel the power of knowledge. Somehow, have some sort
of bond coming back twenty five years later to say,
do you know what tree of knowledge? I have indeed
gained knowledge and wisdom, And I shall put these vibes

(52:50):
back into your trunk and you can pass it on
to the next generation of headers. In some sort of
mythical bollocks. The Tree of Knowledge was great, though.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
Man.

Speaker 3 (53:03):
We would swing off it, and there was a hollow
about three meters up that spread out in all different directions,
giving us easy access to the limbs that stretched up
high into the sky. In terms of climbing, the Tree
of Knowledge was great, man, pure dos. We'd hang out
there twisting off the baubles that grew around its leaves,

(53:24):
throwing them at each other. Shouting shit to passers by,
laughing as they tried to figure out who owned the disembodied,
cheeky voices. We thought we were in detectable invincible, but
in reality they were older and wiser than us, and
being that we were the only gang of lads to

(53:46):
hang out in the area, they would have known exactly
who we were. So the doorbell kept bringing incessantly. We
hummed the lyrics to made up songs as we were
ringing it until they're in age. Dad couldn't stand it
any longer. He pulled the front door open with an
absolute ssh, his blue eyes gunning for me in particular,

(54:10):
as he knew this kind of thing was so unique
in its obscurity that it had to have been me
that conjured up the idea why ringing the doorbell like that?
I told you before, the lads are the grannies. He
wasn't best pleased, but he was a sound and fair man,

(54:34):
and we were cheeky young books. Self and the wife
raised two good lads that went on to white collar,
well paid professions. Be that as it may, we had
some great wild times that were good while they lasted.
Upon leaving school and going to college, the fraternal bonds

(54:54):
of youth with the lads and generally grew up with
shared vision the future, laughs, hardships, cheap thrills, scaldings, and
sessions of bored observational mockery. It all faded like the
last embers of a sunset. Like Brian Adams said, I

(55:18):
thought those days would last forever. Indeed, some of those
days were the best days of our lives. All we
had was each other, PlayStation one football and our friends. Yeah.
So the older brother, anyway, we were in his gaff
and goalway once and he had his own room. Yeah,

(55:41):
and it was so well looked after that. He even
had a balance around the bed as in the frilly
skirt and at the base of the bed. How we
laughed at the emerald green bedspread and matching balance. I mean,
there's having it nice and cozy in your room, and
then there's having it like a fifty year old mother.
It too much like back to the tangent. Within a tangent,

(56:03):
though the average woman is feeling the pinch in the purse.
One second, I'm gonna have answer this. How are you
doing to swim? I'm doing the fucking podcast man recording it.
You're featuring it. Any words of wisdom there for the podcast. Yeah,

(56:23):
I'm doing it now, man, yeah, oh here, let me
go unless you go any wisdom before you go for what?
For what? General wisdom? Man?

Speaker 2 (56:33):
You know wisdom?

Speaker 3 (56:39):
Be good.

Speaker 9 (56:39):
I'll be good as you know it's David Sween used
to say, I don't know, and he needs to say
him all the time. Before you used to go on
the pony, Henry, be good, and I'd say, or be
good as.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Anywhere's wisdom. That's all I have right now.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
Hey, but you know what, it's wisdom. I told you
later on a right lady on the fucking male boys, right,
everybody looking blessed? Good friend of mine, the schweenmeister, where

(57:22):
was I? The average woman is feeling the pinch in
the purse. I see it, man, I overhear it. And
if you're a lady that doesn't ascribe to a certain
classic look and follows the current trends, the average lifespan
of a new look lasts about three weeks. I see it,
I see the billboards, I observe the women what they wearing.

(57:42):
It lasts about three weeks till something completely new comes up.
And if you're not up to date. Then you're out
of touch. You'll be policed, offhand remarks, backhanded compliments, Oh
where'd you get that from? Very nice, very last month.

(58:05):
I call this the fashion industrial complex. It's a cruel
added pressure put on women to keep them stuck in
a vortex of materialistic consumption. I mean, and this is why, man,
a lot of young women nowadays, like Lily Blue, forced
into making a few extra quid from only fans and

(58:29):
shaven twinks online have to resort to it twinks being
effeminate gay men. How do I know about this, you
might ask, Well, funny enough, I was on X the
other day and I saw this labor politician called Ivor Kaplan.
He got done for trying to nonce up a fifteen

(58:50):
year old lad. Go on to ext yourself if you
don't believe me, and look at his replies and media
tell you one thing, man, He wasn't holding back from
publicly talking to these endowed twinks saying he wanted to
be power bottomed. I mean, this was on his timeline,
which became more brazen the later it was going on

(59:12):
until his arrest by vigilante nonsense. I mean, one of
the posts basical week man one of the posts, he
said he wanted to be power bottomed by a large
black male who had an almost equine shaped pin, while

(59:34):
a caccasion man with a six pack and peck stood
kneeling beside him. There the fluty dimensions paling in comparison,
as he was the one being submissive. The labor leader
changed in publicly underneath in the comments, throwing caution to
the wind, comfortable within his sexuality. I mean, you had
other public labor leaders and trade union boys that followed him,

(01:00:00):
and still he was retreating the maddest shit. Let me
just preface this before I go on. Now, I'm no prude, right,
and what goes on behind closed doors between consent and
adults is their own business. But this lad being the
lad who led the smear campaign against Jeremy Corbin and
appeared recently on the GB News which is the TV

(01:00:23):
channel equivalent to the Daily Mail, to discuss the negative
implications of opening a full investigation to grooming gangs that
have been committing heinous crimes against young girls in the UK, which,
let's face it, is a fucking disgrace and I won't
come into it any further, not because I think the
issue is off limits and I've being cowardly, But do
you really want me to discuss that. I mean, I'm

(01:00:45):
supposed to be here to offer you comedy and levity
to your daily life, not put you on the verge
of a panic attack by making you realize that politics
is just full of psycho rungans up to no good.
And I tell you what's more, politics, I'll have you
know is in the top ten jobs for psychopaths or
he's bringing back are we getting none? Yes, I was

(01:01:11):
just saying on the podcast about some labor dude got
arrested there for trying to meet fifteen year old and
the politicians. It's in the top ten jobs of psychopaths,
according to some fucking magazine, Forbes Magazine, Forbes Magazine. I am, yeah,

(01:01:35):
I am. I'm leaving it in for the crack man.
I'm leaving it for the crack here.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Hey, come on the starts. I've learned the other Spanish.

Speaker 10 (01:01:42):
Lad oh see might be and we go, well, oh
oh yeah, old baby crazy, he's up laying fucking pipe.

Speaker 9 (01:01:56):
All right, let's die pipe laying fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
Pipe pipe player sponsored by waven a.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
What And I'll train Plummer by this pipe. Last look, look.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
I told you about your exploits later on man.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
M oh yeah, oh baby.

Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
Now that was an update about my good friend who's
a pipe player, not by trade. Now, speaking of politics,
According to Forbes magazine, psychopaths gravitate to these top ten
jobs and if you're wondering what they are one ceo
two lawyer three media television and radio four, salesperson five,

(01:02:48):
surgeon six, journalist, seven, police officer eight, clergy person nine
chef ten civil servant and follow of you wondering, said
a servant, Yes, it's another word for politician. So back
to my research. Kaplan was really enjoying reposting from his

(01:03:08):
official ex account, and it seemed like he's been all
of a suddenly losing his will to contain his urges,
with a particular interest in a man known as white Dwarf.
Our guy had a pinchon for large black men and
small white dudes, And I had to wonder who these
young men are, what were they doing? How would they

(01:03:33):
one day wake up and think to themselves, do you
know what I'm going to show? My erect penis an
asshole for everyone to see. In a bid to make
a few extra quid, because that's how bad things are getting.
The same could be said for Kerry, Katona and Katie Price.
They've taken to the Internet to flash their giblets and
send personalized, filthy messages to coveters of neurotic nature. I

(01:03:55):
know a lad called Barry o' daily from town that
got a picture of a nipple. I won't mention from
which prest nor which lady, because I'm a pure gent
like that man, but a coustom a smooth ninety euro.
He was so happy with his nipple that he got
it printed out, laminated and put into a car key ring,
which now sits on the same keychain as the picture

(01:04:18):
of his three kids with sanskript calligraphy of the words
word's best Dad. He loves those kids, and rightly so.
He also spends too much of his hard earned money
as a car mechanic, shelling out for naughty messages to
Katona and Price. Word on the Street has it that

(01:04:39):
he was off in the credit union the other day
asking for the loan of twenty thousand euro. Apparently he
is so committed that he's ready to forego his children's
tuition nest Egg for a half and half Blowbang with
the famous duo, showing their orifices to unline strangers and

(01:05:01):
more than likely pervs in their locality who they probably
meet in daily life. Aside from having to part with
their integrity for the rest of their lives, they now
have to worry about stalkers and wrongings following them around
local shopping centers, shopping centers filled with shite that was
made abroad, same shops you'd find anywhere else. Man, Christmas shopping,

(01:05:24):
buying Christmas presents, birthdays and become a bland cookie cutter experience.
If you have any crafty skills at all, you'd be
better off putting the monetary value in time spent working
and buying boring bland shite from those shops into making
something original with your hands. The man who can't build,
like if you're handy a carpentry, maybe make someone a

(01:05:46):
chair with a matching footrest. I don't know, at least
make something original a song, a poem, a painting, instead
of buying a paint, buying numbers gift made by kids
in a fair Eastern sweatshop. We're being fucked, man. The
very soul of our nation's culture is being eroded. By
globalization and people wonder why they're depressed, inundating with depressing

(01:06:09):
images of war and violence. You see it anytime you
go on X man. I'm spending too much time on
that fucking platform. Ah that our X man. It's a bad,
bad place. You can take it down. Some dark avenues,
boys don't to turn the lights on. And I tell
you one thing, man, I've been down. Many's a dark

(01:06:29):
avenue such as that guy ivor Caplin's Twitter page, that
guy man, what are wrong? And ohill creating wrong beyond wrong.
But there's other things, man, dark fucking shit. There's the
way people talk to each other on there as well.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
You know that the crackdown and gaz of example. I
mean there are people who actually watch Fox News all
day and be like they're the good guys man Hannity
and Link see Graham sick shit. Speaking of which, I've
been in a bad way this week and that's why

(01:07:07):
I didn't get the podcast out last week while I
was also playing music. But I won't fucking go into that.
But if you need a shredder, give me the summunge.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
I'm handy out taking me ages to get this fucking
thing done. I've been doing it in installments. I suppose
that's the only way man, when inspiration takes you. I mean,
to be able to just waffle endlessly is a skill
set in itself. And I'll tell you one thing. I'm
not a bad old waffler, to be fair to me, like,
not a bad old waffler. I met a lad up
town the other day called Crocodile Dumb Deal. He's a

(01:07:38):
great man for fucking selling secondhand opal astras on the
dumb Deal, great man for the old cameras, corinas and corollas.
But he was saying to me, man, oh here, hey,
oh hear, hey, oh here, hey hey. You talking some

(01:07:58):
great waffle there the day. Great bit of waffling, mane
great bit of waffling. And I was like, where the
fuck are you from. Crocodile Dune Deal, A fucking shrew man.
But I lived in Australia for two years and I
was like, what do they call you? Crocodile Dune Deal.
Used to watch a lot of Steve Irwin and I'm

(01:08:21):
on the Dune Deal selling cars and I was like,
fuck me, Crocodile Dune Deal. That's a class name. Man,
fucking cool dude's going around with the leather hat with
plastic crocodile teeth in it. He really did get into
the character, you know what I mean? He fucking he
really did live the life of a man who finds cars,

(01:08:45):
sets them up a bit, puts a bit of tea
cut on them, and then sells them off then makes
himself a tidy little profit of three or four hundred
euro Sorry about that. Like I said earlier on, I
had a bit of a bad do fucking throw it
with like golf balls the other day, man golf balls

(01:09:07):
coffin in the bed every time we fall asleep and
wake myself up coffin and it wasn't good, old coffin
when you like howk up a nice bit of a
greener then and it's done for a bit tickling cough
And you know what, there was no cough medicine in
the house. But I'll tell you one thing, man, half
a bottle of whiskey into a fucking pink glass, but

(01:09:27):
only in Lemon, Oh did the job. Till the morning
rolled around just saying what the fuck you hat man?
Your body needs rest. You have to just thrown in
me with fucking drink and I was like me, old
boy swore by it. That's his remedy. He always said,

(01:09:52):
the hot.

Speaker 6 (01:09:52):
One and the loveliest, warm, lovely taste to it. Oh, honey, lemon,
a bit of petty, a drop of water, then a
bit of a cloves, put that in a bit of
a numb and job. And I was like, fair balls
to your dad, any fucking excuse for the whole drink?

(01:10:15):
What was you talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
Sun? It just fucking had the cold the flu. Bathlet.
Bathlet helped me struck and find the house. And what
was supposed to go through the doctor course of antibiotics
was to give them out like sweets. And I was like,
all right, there's only fucking mess with Like calm down, man,
calm down, past the fucking hash pipe. They're glad. Oh

(01:10:44):
I've like I was saying, I was a bit a
bit of a bit green around the gills, man, I
was a bit poorly, do you know what I mean?
During the week, You know, as I was saying, like
my glands were like fucking golf balls, I was coughing
and had not so much of a fever like it.
I didn't go above the old thirty eight degrees Celsius

(01:11:05):
threshold bored him. I was, I was feeling the pinch
coffin and then you know, like just just just to
put the cat amongst the pigeons. Whatever this thing was,
maybe I had a fucking hot dog last night, man
seven eleven job, and maybe it's a bit gone off,
But I tell you this thing. I woke up this

(01:11:26):
morning in the fetal position and I could feel the outline,
the outline of my large intestine, and all these noises
coming from me. Guts had to go down the toilet
empty out some spirrillina. Bad old doing, man, it's bad
old doing. But I was also with a Panter concert
last night. Good old fucking crack man, good old crack

(01:11:49):
those boys. Man, it's nothing like if you want to
just get in the zone, start your day off, put
a bit of Panter on. It's hard stuff, as my
outbook would say, Yeah, the three the hard stuff, but
I do recommend it. Zach Wilde from Black Label Society
and his own solo career and Ozzie Osborne's league guitarist.

(01:12:11):
He's now taken place of the late great dining Bag Durell,
who was unfortunately shot and killed at a gig in Columbus,
Ohio there twenty years ago by some fucking mad lad
and I think that devastated the hard rock community. Eddie

(01:12:32):
van Halen apparently left his favorite guitar, Old Yeller, as
a tribute to Dineback Durell. I'm just gonna fact check that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:41):
Now.

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
Let me fact check that Eddie Van Halen Diningbag's funeral guitar.
Now we'll see now if this is Eddie van Halen
puts his original guitar into Dimebag Durrell's casket to be
buried with him. Dimebag once told Eddie how much he

(01:13:05):
loved the instrument, and Eddie planned to make a copy
for him. Instead, he gave him the original for eternity,
saying dime was an original and only an original deserves
the original. The two boys are hopefully jamneling up there
with the likes of Hendrix, Rory Gallaher and other fucking

(01:13:28):
lads from the hard rock era. But you might have
you might have guessed I've always always been into the
old hard rock, but I would have I would like
to get a band together, but just trying to get
people to meet up, you know, just for the crack
man and I'd really like to learn legatos and hammerons.

(01:13:50):
Well hamarons, I know that, but just to just to
learn music theory. And if there's any aspiring musicians out there,
even if you think, oh can to old man can't
do it d at the time, My advice to you
is buy an instrument. Just even have to be a
flashy guitar. Just get yourself go into it. If you
go into a second hand shop and you see guitar

(01:14:12):
and it's half decent, buy it, restring it, sit and play,
or if you want to play piano or bass or synth,
just have it in the house. YouTube tutorials. Man, I
mean you've got basically ultimate guitar app you know, pay
a fourteen quid for that for life your free songs,

(01:14:34):
then man, you can do this. That was a bit
of Toto there by Steve Lucather and the boys all
session musicians. They could go Toto to toe with anyone
in the music world. Strong men for the musical chops.

(01:14:55):
But I was recommended listen to Extremely by a good
maid of mine, Andy Wallace, good fuck construct man, great bassist,
and he said check out bloody Extreme. I was like, extreme, man,
you mean the two greasy, long haired lads who sing
that song more than words. And he's like, nah, man,
that's just that's just the entry level. But if you

(01:15:16):
get into them and they are the man n No.
Betan Court, in my opinion, is one of the best guitarists,
and Zach Wilde, but those lads, they ron Dweasel Zappa
Frank zappas sony did an album called Confessions and it
had Steve Lucather from Total Nun Beton Court and Zach
Wilde appearing on it and Steady Job, Man, Steady job.

(01:15:40):
But I mean, if your Frank Zappa's son, it's a
big it's a big shadow to walking Man. But he's
doing well.

Speaker 2 (01:15:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:15:47):
I remember seeing him years ago on an episode of
Wife Swap, and he was a bit of a he
was a bit too into the old environmentalism crack. But
I suppose that was just hyped up touch just to
jugs to pose the wife who he'd swapped with. Like
I've fucking seen that years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:16:10):
I remember, years ago, twenty years ago, I was watching
watching this cook and show called dueezl and Lisa. I
didn't I didn't even know who they were, do you know?
You know when you watch a TV show and you're like,
I don't know who you are, but you're carrying on
like I should know who you are. It was one
of them, and I was like, who the fuck are

(01:16:31):
these man. It was only years later when we made
and said, you know, listen to that Confessions album. Some
tasty guitar work in there, and I was like, oh,
your recommendations are strong. I will indeed consider this album.
But didn't bother watching the fucking cooking show tell you that, man,
because I'm a great cook myself, believe it or not.

(01:16:53):
You know, man, you want to see me cooking in
the kitchen. I'm a great man for chicken wings. Oh,
I love them. I love the feel of them. I
love the crisp, the omami. I love the tang and
the heat. Love all that.

Speaker 11 (01:17:08):
Man, the blue cheese dip. I'm always talking about chicken wings.
It's one of those things. Summertime comes along, I like
to have the barbecue, marinade, the chicken oh, the chicken oh,
smashed potatoes.

Speaker 3 (01:17:23):
Then basically, get your potatoes, parboil them, crush them up,
a bit of olive oil, sea salt, pepper, thyme, and rosemary.
Fucking schlatter them, then with olive oil in the oven,
crisp them up side salad top job. Now there you go.

(01:17:43):
If you want me to do, if you want me
to do a cooking special, I will do. But I'm
thinking the next podcast what I'm gonna do for your
own sake and for your sake as listeners, to give
you a sense of structure. I have indeed started a
new format that I will be doing. Man, I will
I will be adhering to some sort of structure because,

(01:18:06):
like you know, when you've got a mind like Russell Crowe,
in a beautiful mind such as myself, except I'm shite
at maths, but I'm class at waffling, but you need
to work with inside a frame. Man, Bill bird Job,
He'll be like, oh me on these talking about Sala
shave club and all this kind of stuff. I haven't

(01:18:28):
listened to that podcast in a good while, haven't watched
the podcast for a good while, but I did enjoy
it when I was listening to it, but I think
it's been about fucking five six years since to listen
to that. But you know, he'll do a bit about sports,
like and then a little bit of chat around what
he's been up to, do you know what I mean,
A bit of a bit of vowel, pad it out
with a bit of chat. You know, he's talking about

(01:18:51):
he was in films and that, you know what he's
been doing. But obviously you know I will, I will
do that kind of thing. And now what I'm doing
right now is I'm fucking I'm sandbagging until I hear
we go right. So this is going to be the
running order for the next episode. Section one, Personal roundup,
stuff Happening? Section two, What's going on up town? Talking

(01:19:15):
to Towne? Section three. Did you hear the crack World?
News and Gossip column? Section four Sports News, then a
musical interlude in the middle. Section five Entertainment, Films and
TV I saw? Section six. Wouldn't mind going there Man,

(01:19:36):
Travel Destinations. Section seven, Eddie's kitchen talking food. Section eight,
car Talk. Section nine Eddie's final thought. So if you
the listeners, man, if you indeed like what you hear?

Speaker 2 (01:19:54):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:19:55):
Not for everyone, now, do you know what I mean?
There are people out there that would just they would
they would they wouldn't be very happy with me doing this,
you know, because sometimes, as Axel Rose would say, feels
like can flag in the dead Horse. But listen, man,
I'm doing my bit to entertain you, and if even

(01:20:15):
if ten people love this, then for me, that's all
I care about. I want to do it in service
of others. I want something for you to look forward
to when you're on a boring trip or you're on
the job and you're thinking to yourself, fucking sound man.
I'll keep the brain busy for the next two hours

(01:20:37):
or hour and a half, depending on how long it takes,
and I'll do my best, lads and ladies, I'll do
me best to bring you top notch crack and we'll
see where it evolves. But like so, that's all i'll
say now, And if you do like it, hit us
up there on Patreon for slash Hardy Books or PayPal

(01:20:58):
Maloney's digest for one off payment for a tip for
a touch, Like if you're getting the fucking uber man,
he'd be like, here a couple of bob there with yourself.
Gont get yourself a new headset because to hear you
chatting away on the phone and very quietly to other
lads on WhatsApp groups. But that's about as far as
we're gonna go. Lads and ladies. I'll leave you there now.

(01:21:23):
I'll leave you there now. Hope you enjoy the show.
Step the word and let me off. I'm gonna be
playing music tonight and tomorrow night. Look it up there

(01:21:45):
on the old Instagram job go looking to bless take
a handy watch out for the old storm outside man,
flying trampolines, rain fallen trees, power cables, and those lads
in the aquarium and Salt Hill and Galway. Those fish

(01:22:06):
apparently have been flooded and they're making the big break
now for the sea free Willy job, But actually, how
are they going to get out the gaff? Even if
it's flooded, they can open doors. Man, I guess we'll
find out what happens and train the place out. Good

(01:22:26):
all spot, though, I recommend a visit if you're into
fish and aquatic life. This time I'm marine going. Good luck,