January 3, 2025 • 51 mins
It's been a long time coming baby! We're finally back in business. It's 2025 man! Where are the years going lad man? New year, new format! Eddie's chat pod part 1.
You'll do awful well to find an Irish Podcast - that contains this degree of top drawer cerebral waffle.
Perfect listening while working, driving, sitting on a plane, or drifting off to sleep in Bobo land... Sit back. Enjoy yourself. Straight from the top of the Dome. A touch of abosulte class.
"This is the best podcast the Western world has ever produced" - Creeby
Two Johnnies, Blind Boy and Joe Rogan will be watching from the shadows.
G'luck n' g'bless!
Tip a man tenderly - Claw w€dg€
Paypal/Maloneysdigest
Patreon @Hardy bucks
You'll do awful well to find an Irish Podcast - that contains this degree of top drawer cerebral waffle.
Perfect listening while working, driving, sitting on a plane, or drifting off to sleep in Bobo land... Sit back. Enjoy yourself. Straight from the top of the Dome. A touch of abosulte class.
"This is the best podcast the Western world has ever produced" - Creeby
Two Johnnies, Blind Boy and Joe Rogan will be watching from the shadows.
G'luck n' g'bless!
Tip a man tenderly - Claw w€dg€
Paypal/Maloneysdigest
Patreon @Hardy bucks
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Oh, go on, man, fucking Durkin podcast. Man with me
Eddie Fulkin Durkin. This is the Durkin Podcast. It is
a bit of a departure from the other types of podcasts.
I'm going into the character that is me Eddie Durkin.
I think it'd be more crack to do this, as
this should have been the intended format. I've had the
hardy book. I've been writing it. Have you been enjoying it?
(00:42):
I am somewhat of a wordsmith when I can be
bothered putting keys to keyboards, fingertips to letters. A renaissance man,
a man who isn't afraid to say it how it is. Oh,
there's been about ten years of soft modeling, fucking pussies
(01:04):
that don't like hard talking legends from the wilds, the
back hours of County Mayo, East Mayo. Man, this is
coming at you now, yea. This is the second of
January two thy and twenty five. What kind of unexpected
bollocks are we about to uncover going into the new year.
(01:29):
It's already kicking off over in the Statesman as someone
blew up a cyber truck outside of Tramper. Why do
I fucking care about that man, it was all over
x also known as twitter Elon Mush came along and
he bought that platform, man, And I tell you one thing.
It's gone from being blue haired, septum piercing fatties, arguing
(01:53):
and using pronouns in bios to fucking nasty boys who
are trying to bait people into a race war. What's
going on? Can we not just have it in the
middle how it used to be before a shit hit
the fan? What happened, man, was that the cern machine.
Did we jump into some sort of parallel universe? Was
the old one blown to bits? I just don't fucking no, man.
(02:18):
I just don't fucking no, man. But I'll tell you
one thing. I was watching an old documentary there recently.
It's one of my favorite ones ever. It's called Marcus
Fern RTE True Lives. It was out in two thousand
and three, and if I could succinctly reduce this synopsis
(02:39):
into a one sentenced sound bite, I would call it
Celtic Tiger. The documentary it follows Marcus Fern, a native
to Dundalk, a man who had won as a young
man forward slash teenager slash child an Award for Outstanding
Young Person of the Year for his charitable works. He
(03:02):
then went on to a seminar with Tony Quinn in
the Bahamas where he meets Pat, an investor who sees
the potentials in Marcus. Pat put a million quid into
Marcus because it was the most expensive demo of all time.
He had a thing called why that thing was a demo.
But Marcus went on a magical mystery tour to the
(03:25):
island of Capri, where Mariah Carey recorded her latest album.
He then went to Abbey Road. He went to Los
Angeles to meet seth Riggs on the feeling a huddle.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So beautiful, so beautiful, so so beautiful, sassa.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Anyway, man, you gotta watch it. It's on YouTube, the
Marcus Fear and documentary, Oh come here to Me. No.
Happy New Year to you all, and welcome back to
the Hardy Books Podcast with Mekin also mart Maloney. But
I'm gonna be doing it in this voice because I
keep breaking into this voice anyway, because it's a force
of habit. You see. For many years I had to
(04:09):
hide behind this voice, and I think it has more
of a musical little to it. The punctuation, the spacing,
the phrasing, the cadence. I like it. It feels like
putting on a nice jacket and going, oh yeah, fucking
may oh boys, never stop, man. And if you got
a problem with that, right to the fucking tarnisher and
(04:32):
tell them the crake. Oh, but it's fucking good to
be back the hardy buck. You might ask what happened there?
Will I tell you what happened there, Mahon. I'll tell
you what happened there. Mahon. Took a very very long
time to write and record, and I think I have
(04:53):
about fifty thousand words done, and there will be more
of that to come. Yes, there will be more to come.
And meantime, if you want to donate a few quid
to keep the ball rolling, hit me up on Patreon,
Hardy Books or PayPal forward slash Maloney's digest. You might
(05:13):
be like, which one's which are you?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Mount?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Maloney already dark and I don't fucking know any more, man,
But for argument's sake, let's just go with the majority
in character, like I said, because it is easier that way.
It is in terms of this is how it should
have been. Man. Put it in character, and then say, oh,
I was only joking, man, Sure wasn't character Sorry about
what I said about your old lady. Man, I know
(05:38):
she's a bit wagy. I know it's Glendule fucking Ginny Seck.
What the fuck am I talking about? Oh yeah, the
Hardy book. It's coming back, I swear down, man. The
only thing stopping me right was literally just taking the
computer out, putting in a microphone and then reading it out.
But it takes a long time because I set the
(06:00):
bar too.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
If it was just me talking like this, I would
have fucking done it long ago. But also I get
bogged down in redrafting, doing it over and over again.
But I have about fifty thousand words and they will
be done and I will finish it. It will be
done by spring out and that's how it's gonna go.
And this podcast is coming back once a week, baby, Yes,
so get back in. Tell your friends be like Durkin's
(06:25):
back man, And he's more unhinged than he ever was.
Age has calcified him somewhat, and his opinions are rigid.
He lives in the pest, yes, baby, I live in
the past. I've been playing the remake of Resident Evil four,
featuring Lord Stolar and Ava Wong. I'll tell you one thing, man,
(06:46):
she's got a fucking class body. The body work on
Aida wang Man. They must have brought in motion capture
specialists from ex Hamster. Ah, yeah, I don't watch that
no more. Man. I gave up fucking watching blue movies
because it was no good for me. Man. I keep
the chi in now. And what I do is I
(07:06):
have sex with women in real life instead of my
own hand ah. Watching other people being cook hoolded man,
watching other people having sex with good looking women, being
like class man, class man. Next thing oo, dirty bastards.
(07:29):
Shame on them, bah'm you, bahrem you, the shame, the grief,
the dirt be true, shame on you. See. All my
jingles in my mind have been calcified from pop cultural
shite that I crammed into me brain box as a
(07:51):
young fella. I would watch films and be like, yeah, man,
it was based on a true story. It's true as fuck. Man,
it's so true him out of a Hollywood movie. They
would never lie. Man. And then you figure out reality
TV shows just as bad. I was watching Real Housewives
of t'punkin recently, and I was like This is all
(08:13):
made up. Man, they're making this up. I know they're
real people hurry themselves out, but it's fake. Man. It's
fucking edited to make people look a certain way. You
can do that to people if you get them to
sign a release form. You can make them look like
whatever you want them to. Baby. Oh, Justin Healey man
(08:38):
from Artie as in Justin Healey at art dot Ie
isn't like the big channel producer there. What's going on
with Hardy Book? Seving? He's five, Man, I'm calling you out,
baby boy, I'm calling you out. And it's a call
of a call to action from the Hardy Books fan base.
You're wondering where the show is? Man, Why you might ask,
(09:00):
in this day and age with so much low hanging
fruit to ridicule, mock and satirize, why you may implore?
You might say, edy, Man, what's going on? We haven't
had a series for seven years. Some characters have gone
a wall in real life, but don't know what's happened
(09:20):
to them. They've gone into fucking Hermitsville, Hermitage, green Job.
They've just gone man like the fucking lad on the
back of the Led Zeppelin four album, Just Walking round
on top of mountaintops, holding lamps with beards and robes
on them, just looking down into the valley being like,
(09:42):
don't know about that, man, don't know about that. Man,
don't know about that man. Other lads have gone chasing
corporate coin, soft money for soft chat. But the only thing,
Justin that will reunite the bond of comedy prowess is you.
(10:08):
But where were you? You wasn't there, man, You wasn't there.
And I know Tommy Booboo Dolls is out there listen
to this going he raises a very good point in fairness,
I'll do it. I will do it.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
I just gotta get some stuff sorted at first, but
I will It will be done. It will be done.
I got straight side. Man, he's waiting there going, Oh,
hold your mind once a new series coming. I'm on
top need of firm. If I don't get firm now,
I'll take a mallet to someone's temple, down and ball
(10:46):
and robe and I'll be like, stall on the ball there, Sonny, Jim.
We'll get it going.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Man, don't worry, boys, I'll have a word with Justin
Heally now on the podcast. Justin, I know you're listening.
To me, man, I know you're there, don't even though
you look like I'm gonna google what you look like now, Man,
So I got a good look at you, and I'm
gonna talk to you through your jpeg. Let me see now,
Justin heally Artie, let me look at you so we
(11:14):
get a look at you. What do you look like? Man,
let's gotta look at you. Oh, well, you've got a
good old head of hair on you. I'm looking at
you there now, Justin, there's a daily mail. It's as
kiro Callahan quits. Oh ah, your classic, this classic classic
TV producer soup jacket and T shirt combo, the kind
(11:36):
of club or i'd wear back in zero seven. Man, Oh,
I know what you look like? No, Justin s you're
not a bad looking lad man, you know what I mean?
Take it down, we'll do if he waits in the
outdoor gym, man self and yourself go for a few
pints then down here, it says the young defenders to return.
Oh when's this man? The two Johnny's late night locking. Oh,
(11:59):
Mike Fry You like those boys, don't you? You'd give
them the touch? Like? But what about us? Justin? What
about us? Lads, there'll be people on red at Ireland saying,
oh her Dirk comes on the podcast there man, Oh
cringe man, Oh so cringe. He was just going on
about it for twenty seven minutes about Justin Healey, the
(12:20):
producer of RTE. Oh the cringe man. He's not like
the viper. The viper. Oh he's great man. Oh his
live streams are unreal man. But durkin' oh oh, you
know what I say to you, hypothetical fucking bad boy
of whoever you are on Twitter. I'll fucking beinge you
over man, and I'll put a scallion up your arsehole
(12:42):
in front of your parents, and I'll be like, look
what he made me do. This is your fault for
raaring such a fucking soft handed clim And if you
have any bother man, I'll take that scallion. I'll chop
it up. Finally, I'll put it into some nice brandy
butter with some nice scallops and a bit of white wine,
(13:04):
throw a bit of garlic then freshly pressed. Makes him
tagle a telly. Then Ah tossed the lot man and
the side servant of some sort of balsamic mozzarella neopolitan
fucking side garnish and I'll say to you, how would
you like them onions count? Now? Yeah, it's a very
(13:26):
sponsor friendly format here, with such talk of me having
full blown conversations with people who may or may not exist.
But I'll tell you one thing, Man, the podcast is
back all engines blazon Man a V eight of creative power.
You will rejoice at the weekly format. Like I said
(13:46):
earlier on the hardest thing was man. The hardest thing
was Man was just getting the fucking laptop out and starting,
because I know that when I get going, I can't stop.
And then I also know the crushing, the disappointment of
being interrupted and then being like, I must get that done.
But then other things take over and then I end
(14:07):
up watching X Factor failed auditions with sim and cow
Louis Ethano. No that to know from me? Yeah, no,
I don't think so. Oh, come on, Simon, we know
we're good enough. No. One of my favorite ones is
a sister act, a duo called So Precious, and they
(14:28):
come out and they saying it's over and done. But
the moment Liza Destiny childcover watch it. Please watch that too,
Matchline Sopranos lean, It's great and back on series four.
I binge watched four episodes yesterday and there before. It's great.
(14:49):
I enjoy it. Johnny Sacramoni, he's a great actor. Vince Caratona,
he's a great guy. Follow him there on X. He's
a little bit like James Woods, except he's a bit
more reliant James Woods. Apparently it's goett a fucking IQ
of one hundred and ninety seven. James Woods. He was
in that bullshit program called shok. Come on a lay
over there on the stage. I haven't really been watching
(15:10):
much TV lately, man, on account of it all being shy.
That's why we need to get back on TV. Turn
the ship around. Man.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
But the thing is television, man. They don't have the
money they once did because you got lads in the
bedroom playing fecking video games with a viewership bigger than
any terrestrial television could ever dream of. That's what up
against now, lads, that's what up against. People say, man,
what about getting some sort of crowd funding thing? And
(15:42):
I'd be like, it's a waste of time, man. I mean,
just trying to get the word out there is one thing.
But trying to get cunstant shell out a few Bob
in this economic downturn. I'm telling you, man, a'd to
beyond fucking Twitter a good bit looking things. I'd be
watching Earl Soilente, the trends forecaster, and he's talking about
(16:04):
the office retail bus that's coming, saying that he's been
talking about that for a couple of mazoons now, so
he has a couple of mazoons now. But it just
looks like it's called schipe. Man. The old Swedish chrone
is not worth a fuck, and the euro's not doing
too bad, but you know, the old pipeline getting bombed.
It really fucked up Germany there, man, because there's one
(16:25):
thing that the the hegemonic empire doesn't like, and that
was infinite cheap gas from Russia and the economic powerhouse
that is Central Europe. Now, with that fucking stopped, unemployment
is on the rise in Germany at a cool six
point one percent. Can you imagine a country as big
(16:46):
as Germany with a six point one unemployment rate and hyperinflation? Oh,
camier man. I was in the States twice last year, yeah,
and I was like, fuck this, man, I'm saving the
you bob to want to get home because it's actually
cheaper than the States. Bought myself a boiled egg there
(17:07):
when I was in Chicago for nineteen euro and I
was like, they had big windows, man, because you've seen
me coming. Oh ho. And that's gospel according to Eddie Hobbs.
What else am I going to talk about? I don't
want to bounce ideas off here. Man. Coligan was post
(17:28):
me on, Yeah, where are you know? Colgan? You did
your own little podcast, didn't you. You should have been
on this man, or should have say, buzz man, where
were you? Oh? Here we go again? Consan read it going.
Oh man, I was listening to him there the way
he's calling out other people on the podcast. Man, he
just sounds like so salty. He's evil, He's he's demonic. Man,
(17:51):
He's cruel, He's some sort of wielder of cruelty. He's
so obtuse. His panil gland has been calcified by his
cruel rhetoric. Oh man, cringe. Oh. I was cringing so
hard that my satchel tightened up like an old leather shammy.
And I got myself a job on. Was cringing so hard, man,
(18:15):
Oh man, I'm just I'm just going to write this
and put a link and I'd be like, literally can't
oh cringe in block capitals. Like I said, Man, I
will find you. I know who you are, and you
will get bummed with a scallion on a fucking spring
(18:37):
moon and take that one to the bank and on. Man,
But I really gotta keep the fucking jack going here.
What else was I gonna write about? Oh yeah, no,
tear man. Yeah, oh comere? What events wrapping up twenty
twenty four? Oh yeah, well there's a fair bit to
(18:57):
talk about. A year's worth of chat there, man, myself
and the cowboy Kelly and and fucking Peter French tours
the tool there. Man. We went to a little bit
of a tour around the UK that was good crack.
Myself and the boys were getting onto the boat and
the man was having a heart attack and we helped
save his life. That was pretty cool. It was nice
(19:18):
to go to Liverpool. It's been a long time since
it was there, like ten years. Lad. We had good crack,
good crack in Liverpool and a lot of building work's
gone up, you know. We got to play the skyline
looks different. Good.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Some parks now got a new footy stadium by where
Stanley Doch Markus was. It was very nice to go
back and have a look at the place I were
up in Manchester. We had a couple of pis, so
Manchester was crack. Nearly got into a scrap with some
young fellas and I came in and diffused it with
some mad chat.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
And yeah it was nice. It was a nice little trip.
But we're going to be going to Australia, No man oh,
New Zealand Dubai. We're going down Dubaie Way on a
Sunday week. We're going to see all these like old
coin tech bros such as Dylan Madden, other lads I
see on Twitter posting fucking aspirational money talk, telling you
(20:14):
boys and me how they became millionaire boys. But you're
just wondering are you that rich though, lads? Or do
you just dress up and shave the dome and wear
a cravat like Neil Strauss on the front cover of
the Game, a book written about lads who went pulling
women by a lad who had no physical strength or hair,
(20:39):
but he sat and he took notes and studiously calculated
the chat they were incorporating into pulling women on nights
out that kind of vibe. Where do I get off
with this fucking stream of consciousness? Man, It's like the
fucking Leaving Sart all over again, which I covered in
the Hearty Book. Did I mention that Hardy Book is
(21:01):
coming back? Man? I mentioned it seven times. It's coming back.
Oh that's the next project. I'm gonna get that done
and dusted. But if you do like this, do indeed
Patreon Hardy Books. Apparently Patreon Apple being tight bastards, have
taken a thirty percent cut, So fuck that, man. Don't
even play into that. If you want, if you like
(21:22):
what you hear and you want to keep it going,
PayPal forward slash Maloney's digest Man, oh please, baby, hit
me up with a few fucking Peter Shilton's Yes, oh yes.
A lot of fucking mad crack going down the Middle
East there during the year the relentless murder of civilians
(21:44):
was happening down in Gaza, Syria fell into the hand
of in quotes, moderate rebels. But weren't they the same
gang of fucking nutters up an id Lib that America
got all pissed off about when Russia or in Syria
wanted to go in and finish them off. But then
they said, no, sure, the States are in there, man,
(22:06):
sucking out all their oil. It's a whole fucking swamp
down there of nutjobs.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Man.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
But I've been seeing some pretty fucked up videos coming
out of there. I won't even go into them, because
they were the kind of things that I kept thinking about.
Days later when I was driving the car, people asking
me why I was so quiet, and I was like, not, man,
just some fucked up stuff I seen on Twitter coming
out of Syria, and I mean fucked up stuff, and
(22:33):
it's like, great, man, enjoy the democracy. Democracy a Greek
expression used to describe a gang of people coming together
and using the power of numbers to express themselves as
a driving force. But these numbers can be tweaked, you see,
and when using such things as propaganda, you can twist
(22:58):
and bend the will of people perception to then vote
people in who are against their own interests. That's about
as far as it's gonna go there more. And you
might be like, Durkin, what do you know about this?
I'm I can't fuck you. Whoever you are, fuck off.
Presumably most of the people who listen to this are
(23:19):
sound anyway. So I'm not talking about you lads, just
talking about snidy fucking well actually merchants, people who think
they know it all, but they haven't a fucking clue.
They don't even know they were born. Man. They never
had to rough it out in the corners, the corners
of Schwinford, Man culchimah Kill, Kelly hard places. Lads who
(23:42):
drive tractors to school. They never went near that stuff.
They probably had fucking indoor heating and plumbing. Fucking soft
handed butter voucher boys. That's all there, man, Cheesy cunts
the domestic news. Now, I don't know Christmas will go crack.
(24:04):
Took it easy, played resid e before, Like I said,
hung out a couple of nights out go crack bos.
It was gonna go. Really, I was kind of glad
it was a nice, chilled one instead of being a
mental one. And there's been a couple of them over
the years, I'll tell you that, but it's been nice
taking it easy. The old pressure of Christmas gotta get
(24:25):
everyone presents, man, I mean what about I mean saying
that I didn't go to Mass. The old lady was disappointed, man,
she was disappointed. She was like, go to mass and
I was like, I will, I will, I will never
did do though, man never did do. But what can
you do? And make up for it this year? Man?
And make up for this year? Chat Pod? Oh but yeah,
(24:51):
come down to fucking Zealand come down with us on
the plane. Man we go tour in Australia. Then Fucking
Adelaide was the first one. Perth, Melbourne, Shelbourne. I know
a lot of places around Australia. Come and see one
of the gigs on the web pages, Man, follow me
there on the old Instagram or whatnot from TikTok job.
But I suppose as far as gonna go, it's just
(25:12):
basically an introduction podcast. There was other things I meant
to say, other things, but you know, I just don't
know anymore. Man. Like always, I always come to these
podcasts completely unprepared, and then I'll start with a couple
of lines. I'm like, that was pretty broad. I'll tell
you what I've written here, chat Pod Welcome Happy twenty
twenty five Events wrapping up twenty twenty four, Worldwide domestic Books,
(25:36):
News Predictions twenty twenty five. That's all I'd written. That's
all I'd written. Yeah, But to be fair, I managed
to go off the dome for a good seven hundred
and seventy four bars. While are we talking about bar? Okay,
So I'm looking here in the top little window because
I do these on logic X. I mean, I've got it.
(25:56):
I'm doing this on a ten year old computer like
I was gonna buy Want a couple of moons ago. Yeah,
And I was like, you see, the thing is with
buying Apple, you know, because if you're working in broadcasting,
you have to use Apple. Go to a Starbucks Starbucks,
go to a Starbucks and sit there with your nice
Apple laptop, and people are like, oh, that lad's doing
(26:19):
very well. He's not using the one of these windows
like Dell or Tashiba or Assos. He's one of these
MacBook people. He's doing very well. He's a fucking He's
one of those freelance jobs. And I was like, yeah, man,
but the thing is they all look the same, but
they're very different under the hood. See, when I'm buying
(26:41):
a new computer, I want to get the top spec.
But nowadays trifonel cost you fifteen years of compound interest.
It's Apple man. When when when Steve Jobs, he might
have been a pretentious fucker, right. It was Paul and
neck and little John Lennon Gleshian's on him. But he did,
he did keep it affordable, and he kept he kept
(27:04):
all the products at the same level. Nowadays it's a
pay to play a teared system. Oh do you want
the old new chip here? Oh that'll cost you. You
want the memory? Sorry about that? The memory? Oh bit
of extra TERRIBI did that? Sorry about that. I had
(27:25):
a bit of a cough. I got so animated while
talking about fucking Tim Cook. Get me a cough, Bill
Gates spirits me load letter box or Bill Gates? He
fucking fatit, little bassnger. What surprises have you got laid?
That tell you one thing, man, I do a lot
of talk about that Bill Gates. But he's evil. Man,
(27:47):
He's wrong. And and if I ever get my fucking
hands on them, man and twitched tits off him with
me teeth, and I'd be like, suck on that billy boy,
and then I'll put him in a fucking box, cardboard box,
like the kind of you put a fridge in. Just
kick them down the fucking flight of stairs and then
film it. Put it up on World Star Hip Hop
(28:10):
and I'll be like Gates kicked down stairs. And then
the fucking English tabloids will have funny reductionary language use
to describe it, such as tech boffin mercer so sorry,
tech boffin mercilessly tossed downstairs by redheaded nutter. You know,
(28:36):
because the tabloids, man, the way they write is very clever,
the way they condense words, like they would use such
expressions like I remember one's reading about rottweiler that mauled
child and it said devil dog malls tot tot like
(28:57):
they use their own style of chat. That'll me is
ever reported on with like in the context of reading
tabloid journalism, tot boffin fucking daft shite. Stop reading that, man,
Stop it. I mean, look at broad sheets are the
other way. Then it's fucking bespectacled nonsense. I mean, I
(29:20):
just don't know, man, Just watch YouTube videos. It's the
best way. Man. People like, wow, would you know the stuff?
You know what you do watching a YouTube? I'm like, yeah,
if you wanted to figure out how to make a
fucking dovetail joint for a table or a cabinet you've
been building at home, would you go on to YouTube, yeah,
or would you go on to WICKI howe and fucking
(29:42):
cough leave me be. I need some Robert Tutsen recommended
by doctor Mum to help me get off this chesty
fucking vibe I've been on the last two minutes. I've
enjoyed this podcast. I actually I took a bit of
a break there towards the end to listen back to
it to see what degree of waffle I was jammering about.
(30:04):
And I have to say it made me laugh. I
enjoyed listen to it myself, and I mean that would
make sense considering it came out of my mind. I
was listening back to it, going, do you know what
that lad there? He has a lot of points I
agree with. But then I was thinking back to the
hypothetical shadowy bad Boys of Ireland subreddit, Hardy Books and
(30:28):
other places. I mean, look, a lot of ye boys
are fucking sound on that, but then there's a lot
of schneeky bastards on that too. And you know what
I will do, man, I'll get you between me thighs
and just squeeze your face and I'd be like shniff
my baff fool but I will do that, and I
will find state Side and I'll be like, state Side
(30:49):
got this lad here man sit on his face for
nine clammy minutes and he'll be like, right, yeah, well
it's got us another series more, and I'm like yeah, man,
d ray Morton job sound predictions for twenty twenty five
expect more carnage, another presidency from Trump and all the
(31:12):
usual bullshit of my candidacy is about big changes. Oh,
the changes are gonna be so big, seeing in and
fake news and all the usual oul stuff. Man, it'd
be great news for TV. Do you know what you'll do, man,
You'll do fuck all. They're all a bunch of fucking knobs, man,
(31:33):
all of them. I fucking know time. I'm a political atheist, man,
I'm politically homeless. The only fucking people I support me kids, men,
you know what I mean. That's about as fucking fair
as That'll go. Bastards than say anything to get into power, man, waffling.
People are like, oh I really like that, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's good. The candidac is some great talking points, man,
(31:56):
yeah yeah, yeah, saying people are getting all the time.
Look at some of the climsy has around him. Man.
I mean the guy is seventy eight years old. There's
younger men than him in nursing homes having to be
washed and fed. Do you know what I mean? Why
couldn't they put some young whipper snapper who won't cave
into corporate evil Because there's a lot of corporate evil
(32:20):
that runs the States, the UK, Europe, people who'll do
anything for money. What good is all the money in
the world here when it costs you your soul? For
the love of money is indeed the root of all evil.
And I tell you one thing. Evil loves money because
with money you can buy your way to anything. Look
(32:40):
at man. The only fucking reason we have that, shiitey,
because some people made it that way. Oh and you
be judged about how much money you earn if you're
making people money, doesn't matter what you do. Man, Oh
they look after you. Got some fucking life called Jacob
Poland bringing me Why you ringing me, man, fucking not
(33:02):
answering that could be fucking anybody. Man, could be fucking
anybody obviously, someone like fucking know, like from many moons ago.
But I mean in the middle of a podcast, man,
you know what I mean? In the middle of a podcast,
people ringing the man. The phone never stops. Man, the
phone's my biggest distraction. If you want to know why
nothing's happened, thank the phone, that bloody phone. As Tony
(33:25):
Soprano will say, we're better off before the phones. He's
not wrong, man, we were better off. But now our
heads are filled with nonsense, non stop nonsense. It was
bad enough for TV and videos, but now, man, it's
NonStop bmbardment of shite. Wave after a wave, after a wave,
(33:46):
after a wave, a fucking non stop shite. The human
brain isn't designed to have such information pumped into your mind.
One hundred years ago, didn't even have to fucking television
screen man. You'd have to get dressed up to go
to the cinema to watch Charlie Chapman falling about the place.
That was about as fucking extended as the whole situation was.
(34:08):
Nowadays you got people doing TikTok dances and oh, I
don't know it is. I'm an old man, a crumudgeon
talking shite. I'm old now, man, I'm old. And how
old Tony Soprano was up until series three? Maybe do
you know what I mean? And he was old then
looking back. But I have to say I'm talking a
lot about sopranos lately because that's all I'm watching. Don't
(34:30):
watch much stuff now, don't watch much stuff at all.
Once upon a time, I was there trying to climb
the greasy pole of the acting world, and I was like,
this is just lad's pretending. You know what I mean, Wow,
give him an award. The Oscar goes to the lad
who lost a load of weight and put more weight on. Cool,
good work man. And then he went and he read
(34:52):
some script and then he pretended and man, people are crying.
The music was stirring, the editing was slick. Cool. Oh,
marvel Marvelo coming out with another film. What is it
this time? Tax return Man, the accountant. He's the guy
who just fucking pays all the tax for like Nick Fury.
(35:13):
And the flying ship is like that big flying ship
from the Advengurers. Man, there's a nuclear powered because I'm
wondering how propellers can keep that thing in the air
for an indeterminable amount of time. It has to be,
it has to be. It's not even a real ship. Man.
I don't want him talking about in such depth. I
was the kind of guy that would watch a film
(35:34):
and if someone would walk into a kitchen, usually an America,
with bags of shopping paper bags, and something would happen
and it'd be a horror movie and they'd walk in
and they'd leave the back door open or the front
door open, and then they would see someone someone's just
been killed, and they'd be like, oh, and drop all
(35:55):
the shopping on the floor. Man. I'd be like, first
of all, close the door and lock it behind you
to make sure the fucking monster is not behind you.
And if there is some sort of freaky scene going
on in the house, put them up on the fucking worktop, man,
and then put them in the fridge, and then investigate it.
Then call the cops. Do you know what I mean?
Like nowadays, Like back in the old movie days, someboddy,
(36:18):
usually wearing a pair of gloves, would come and snip
the phone line so people would be trapped in the
house and be like, oh, no, we're inside the house, man,
Oh how we can't call the cops? Fat use they
would be anyway nowadays it's oh no, man, someone took
her mobile phones or there's no reception. What will we do?
(36:40):
But it'd be like, can you imagine how Like there's
a film called The Ritual. Yeah, it's good film, Netflix
job about a bunch of lads who were on a
camping trip in Sweden someplace. Yeah, it was actually filmed
in Romania. Good film, though, man, good film. And you
know the boys are like, oh look we're a bit late, man,
we'll have to go through this spooky forest. It's a shortcut,
and then bad shit happens, and you kind of think
(37:02):
to yourself, you know, if that was me, I'd be like, actually,
if it was a couple of boys liked be like
a bit of crack, we'll go in the woods here, man,
you know what I mean. But maybe that's not the
best idea of a film. But there's a lot of
other films, whether it be if you know, if you
just phoned someone, that wouldn't have happened, and therefore it
wouldn't have been a you know, a film, horror film.
(37:23):
There's a lot of horror films that if you just
use your basic common sense, you'd be like, oh, man, yeah,
let's go to that fucking seance in that old abandoned spookehouse.
I'd be like, nah, man, how about we just go
down the pub and have a few pints, maybe a
little bit of fucking chicken wings or something, you know
what I mean, Like tangy, beautiful orange buffalo sauce garnished
(37:45):
with like a blue cheese cheddar fucking dip job, oh
fresh celery, the tang of the vinegar, the heat of
the cay and pepper, you know, like the crispiness of
the skin, the omami flavors you bite into the shell.
Oh man, you know what I mean. Like, that's that's
(38:06):
what I would be doing, Like, yeah, let's go into
the spooky house. Oh yeah, no, no, man, you're a
right fucking going home man, going home made itself a
fucking bit of food, like and just go to watch
some shit on the phone, then go to bed, you
know what I mean. Meanwhile, that fucking spectered, spooky little
(38:27):
lad who'll be living into the house, he'd be like,
I'm looking forward to going kill a few daft pricks,
but I may as well just zip off into some
other dimension called shite elsewhere, I suppose, and then lads
with like a construction company to come and fucking knock
the house. Then, but then what if the evil spirits
(38:47):
are still on the ground, like, get a priest in
then to be like, lad's gotta get the priest in here,
get rid of this lad. But then one if the
priests gets attacked by the monster. What kind of monster?
Talking like Freddie and Jason Job. See if there was
a Freddie and Jason job. Yeah, And if I knew
that there was a lad going around with a hockey
mask in a machete, and I'm like, he's in there, man,
(39:08):
the fucking the big, the big fucker with the machete,
I'd be like, lads, look, we've got to get a
van full of hard shams together. Yeah, and we'll all
go in there at once kick the fucking shit out
of them. So imagine this. Yeah, let's just take there's
a house in ballin Robe in County Mayo, and there's
apparently Jason is in there. Yeah, and he's in there,
(39:31):
and he's fucking he's got bad intentions. He wants to
kill people. And I'd be like, lads, look, there's a big,
massive bastard in there with an ugly head and fucking
hockey mask and a machete. He's out to do damage.
We need some vigilante justice. Here and I'll be telling
everyone and I'll be like, come on, honestly, like even
go down to the guards. The guards be like, now
that's what's what's going on down there. There's there's reports
(39:53):
of a lad wearing a boiler suit and he's got
a machete in a hockey mask. Because it's a lad's joking,
we'll send the boys down there for like, lads go,
we'll follow you just in case. Like in the guards,
the guards are going there with nothing but a torch, yeah,
and then they might get attacked and then they'll they'll
have to ring the arm response unit and I'll be like,
(40:13):
fuck this, boys, we're going in helping the guards man.
And then there'll be a couple of us. You know,
he'll swing the machete a few times, one or two
lads all get fucking done. But like if we all
go in there together, right, and we just fucking take
baseball bats and like a pitchforks and a couple of knives,
you know, some lad will probably have a shotgun because
(40:33):
he lives on a farm, Like, and we'll go in
there and then like the lad with the shotgun, fucking
send him in there first. But there he is, lads,
it's fucking jaysum Man. Fucking blow his head off, and
then just send the rest of the boys in there
to finish him off, and then take him to some
sort of fucking metalwork factory and then just put him
(40:53):
in a fucking furnace full of malt and steel, stick
him in the block, then take the fly it out
from Knock Airport in the back of a cargo plane,
fuck him off, then in the middle of the ocean,
and he'll never come back. He will never come back
or Willie. I don't know, But that's about us. That
(41:13):
that's that's I keep saying. That's about as far as
it's gonna go because I've been watching too much fucking
Simon Cowell. But that's that's how I would do it,
like you know what I mean, that's that's that's the
way I would take care of a baddie like Jason.
You know, he causedn af a lot of shite, that
lad saying with that fucking Freddy Krueger job with the clause.
I met him in real life once about twenty years ago. Man,
he was sound. It was a sound Lad told me
(41:35):
the story about how Sylvester Stallone was just sitting in
the room with the windows blocked out, with a bowl
full of apples and the lamp and a typewriter. And
six weeks later he came out with Rocky wand the
screenplay written. And of course he he based it on
Chuck Wepner, the truck driver that went the distance against Ali.
(41:58):
He didn't win, but he went the distance and his
face was all bashed in afterwards. But I'll tell you
one thing, man, fair player. The Chuck Wepner, he had
a weapener of a mustache on him and he went
in there, man, and he went dancing. Speaking of fucking
boxing man. The Jake Paul Tyson fight. Bit of a
letdown that wasn't It looked like Tyson was maybe pulling
(42:18):
a few punches. And they're like, no, Tyson's old, man,
he doesn't have it. Like I've seen the training videos, man,
I saw them. I've seen those videos. And Tyson like, yeah,
he might be old. And maybe the cardio obviously is
what it's gonna be. But it'd be like driving a
four GD Mustang from sixty eight that you just you know, refurbished.
(42:39):
Yeah it's old, but there's power there and it packs
a punch and if he clocked Jake Paul like he
could have done. Oh but lights out, man, lights out. Well,
I'm gonna head off now, and I hope you enjoyed this.
Sorry about all the coffin man, Like I said, was
(43:00):
fucking Bill Gates man. He was spraying singing out of
drones man. And like I said, if I ever get
my hands on him, I'll ripped the fucking shirt off
his back. The little bastard. Fucking bash him in good.
Take him down to the fucking China towne. It's a
different scene, man. There are people down there who are obscene.
(43:21):
If you see what I'm mean and live so to
the dream down in Chinatown, what goes up must come down.
Dily dely dely dely dely dely de do, dude de
deo dily littly do. For any of you wondering there,
(43:46):
you were like, what's this beef with fucking China town man?
That was a call from Thin Lizzies Chinatown featuring the
guitarist works of the late Gary Moore. So there, I
wasn't having gold Chinese people, man, I don't really have
any gripe with them at all. I mean to be
fair to the to the Chinese boys on the geopolitical
world stage. They make deals. They don't just fucking arrive
(44:09):
bomb the fuck out of everyone. Yeah, look, they're out
to make a few fucking quid, but they do it
pragmatically through business and negotiations. They don't just go, oh,
these people are being oppressed, we need to give them
democracy and then just blow the fuck out with them
with your merchant navy and your drones and fucking a
(44:29):
ten tank busters and you know, fucking f sixteen jobs,
do you know what I mean. They just go in
there and they're like, how's going boys, you're looking for
a few pounds. That's a nice bit of a coal
you've got there. We'll buy that off you. Oh a
bit of call tan down the congo. Listen, man, we'll
take it. We'll look the other way. I know it's
(44:51):
bad form, but look at this laptop, your phone, you're
listening to this on It's all got it in it, man,
it's all in there. I heard recent those straws are
apparently poisonous. You know, everyone was like, oh the environment,
plastic straws. Man. You know, first of all, if you're
gonna fucking if you're gonna stop with anything plastic. Do
(45:11):
something about the ring you know that the rings around cans,
Like there's a real danger those getting caught in in
in creatures, like you know what I mean? And if
they're so, if they were so into the straws, like
what about the lids they're made a plastic two Like
I got bottle tops. I mean, now now the bottle
caps are attached and at first I just thought they
were some sort of malformed seal. But you know, the
(45:37):
lids to they can the bottles. Now they're annoying. You
can't pull the bastards off. I do appreciate the fact
that the lids uh gettached to the bottle is more
of a makes more sense from a recycling point of view,
and not whine going so deep off the fucking edge
with that. But like apparently the straw I'm gonna I'm
gonna actually fact check this by using Google. Okay, straws
(46:03):
paper poison? Now, this is all I heard was anecdotal
evidence yesterday, it says here. A recent study has also
highlighted another potential concern. Paper straws, assessed by researchers from
University of ANTVOP Belgium have found to contain more forever
chemicals and quotes per and polyfloralkli substances than plastic. Wasn't
(46:28):
it funny?
Speaker 3 (46:29):
Like you know, it's uh, some people say, Durkin, you're
a very fucking paranoid, bloody tinfoil hat man. But it's
like all these things, right that contain these fucking weird chemicals,
but they're pitched in a way that is good. So
it's always the classic bait and switch, like you're better.
(46:50):
Why do we need to fucking drink through straws anyway?
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Man? What's wrong with the fucking paper lid? Like a
coffee cup? You know, yeah, it's a two and one
combo unless you're drinking a milkshake, but like if you're
drinking a soft drink. I mean, there was a study
came out recently that said Coca cola was actually so
every drink of co cola reduced ten years off your life.
(47:13):
Cork drink takes ten minutes of your life. Every time
you reach for a coke, you could be losing twelve
minutes of your life, as scientists have claimed. The worrying
statistics were found in the study conducted by the University
(47:34):
of Michigan, which delved into just how much to certain
processed foods take from your life. That's from Metro dot
co dot UK. Hindustand Time says cock dikes twelve minutes,
hot dog thirty six minutes off your life. Well listen, man,
fuck it. Do you know what I mean? Fuck it?
(47:54):
How many years off my life has taken? Fucking chats
and smoking Benson. You know, it's like you add life
to your years, not years to your life. I mean,
what's the point living? To you about one hundred and
twenty if it's shy crack and you can't do anything.
That's what I've come to. I'm forty two years now, Yeah,
and my fucking mouth is filled with mercury fillings and
(48:17):
other weird shit because when I was a kid, I
would eat fucking sweets like a nutter, so much so
I would get cravings in my kidneys because I just
needed the sugar. I was badly addicted to sweets. And
also I'm a bit fond of the drink. But that's
normal enough for a man of my age from the
Republic of Ireland, because it's in our fucking DNA and
(48:39):
that's the way it is, however, a great crack. And
you know what, as me Owboy would say, the crack
at the laughter, And it's basically, I'd rather live a
fucking shorter life of gray crack than live a long,
boring life where I'm just wandering around slipping in the
snow being like, oh fuck this shit. You know, like,
(49:03):
I'd rather a couple of years, good few years. I mean,
I obviously don't want to fucking check out, but I'd
like to be fit and healthy and enjoy the crack
and uh, you know, fucking end up living by a
cool beach, nice chilled out people playing music, a couple
of nice drinks at the crack and the left, you know,
nice warm weather. Sure you can't even be out the
(49:24):
fucking sun because it's like I was in Kenkoon a
couple of years ago, got fucking roasted, man, the worst
scald than I ever got. And believe you me, as
a ginger boy, I got scalded in many places. I'd
be scalded. Man if I went outside on a Tuesday
in fucking April, you know what I mean, I'd be
(49:46):
sun burned sitting inside the dark room. But like, what
are you gonna do? Anyway, that's just me him fucking
rambling on. Now, I hope you enjoyed this, and if
you did enjoy it, throw me a fucking touch, whether
it's a five or ten or five thousand euros going
to PayPal forward Slash Maloney's digest because I tell you,
(50:06):
after the Christmas and cleaned out bices, woking, cleaned out
by presents, what can taxing, the care tax, fuck you tax,
Robin basts, fucking legalized theft from the working man, the
working man's fun and the bath that have been cleaned
out right, I love you and leave you look back.
(50:28):
Blessed last year Toashi
Oh, go on, man, fucking Durkin podcast. Man with me
Eddie Fulkin Durkin. This is the Durkin Podcast. It is
a bit of a departure from the other types of podcasts.
I'm going into the character that is me Eddie Durkin.
I think it'd be more crack to do this, as
this should have been the intended format. I've had the
hardy book. I've been writing it. Have you been enjoying it?
(00:42):
I am somewhat of a wordsmith when I can be
bothered putting keys to keyboards, fingertips to letters. A renaissance man,
a man who isn't afraid to say it how it is. Oh,
there's been about ten years of soft modeling, fucking pussies
(01:04):
that don't like hard talking legends from the wilds, the
back hours of County Mayo, East Mayo. Man, this is
coming at you now, yea. This is the second of
January two thy and twenty five. What kind of unexpected
bollocks are we about to uncover going into the new year.
(01:29):
It's already kicking off over in the Statesman as someone
blew up a cyber truck outside of Tramper. Why do
I fucking care about that man, it was all over
x also known as twitter Elon Mush came along and
he bought that platform, man, And I tell you one thing.
It's gone from being blue haired, septum piercing fatties, arguing
(01:53):
and using pronouns in bios to fucking nasty boys who
are trying to bait people into a race war. What's
going on? Can we not just have it in the
middle how it used to be before a shit hit
the fan? What happened, man, was that the cern machine.
Did we jump into some sort of parallel universe? Was
the old one blown to bits? I just don't fucking no, man.
(02:18):
I just don't fucking no, man. But I'll tell you
one thing. I was watching an old documentary there recently.
It's one of my favorite ones ever. It's called Marcus
Fern RTE True Lives. It was out in two thousand
and three, and if I could succinctly reduce this synopsis
(02:39):
into a one sentenced sound bite, I would call it
Celtic Tiger. The documentary it follows Marcus Fern, a native
to Dundalk, a man who had won as a young
man forward slash teenager slash child an Award for Outstanding
Young Person of the Year for his charitable works. He
(03:02):
then went on to a seminar with Tony Quinn in
the Bahamas where he meets Pat, an investor who sees
the potentials in Marcus. Pat put a million quid into
Marcus because it was the most expensive demo of all time.
He had a thing called why that thing was a demo.
But Marcus went on a magical mystery tour to the
(03:25):
island of Capri, where Mariah Carey recorded her latest album.
He then went to Abbey Road. He went to Los
Angeles to meet seth Riggs on the feeling a huddle.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So beautiful, so beautiful, so so beautiful, sassa.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Anyway, man, you gotta watch it. It's on YouTube, the
Marcus Fear and documentary, Oh come here to Me. No.
Happy New Year to you all, and welcome back to
the Hardy Books Podcast with Mekin also mart Maloney. But
I'm gonna be doing it in this voice because I
keep breaking into this voice anyway, because it's a force
of habit. You see. For many years I had to
(04:09):
hide behind this voice, and I think it has more
of a musical little to it. The punctuation, the spacing,
the phrasing, the cadence. I like it. It feels like
putting on a nice jacket and going, oh yeah, fucking
may oh boys, never stop, man. And if you got
a problem with that, right to the fucking tarnisher and
(04:32):
tell them the crake. Oh, but it's fucking good to
be back the hardy buck. You might ask what happened there?
Will I tell you what happened there, Mahon. I'll tell
you what happened there. Mahon. Took a very very long
time to write and record, and I think I have
(04:53):
about fifty thousand words done, and there will be more
of that to come. Yes, there will be more to come.
And meantime, if you want to donate a few quid
to keep the ball rolling, hit me up on Patreon,
Hardy Books or PayPal forward slash Maloney's digest. You might
(05:13):
be like, which one's which are you?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Mount?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Maloney already dark and I don't fucking know any more, man,
But for argument's sake, let's just go with the majority
in character, like I said, because it is easier that way.
It is in terms of this is how it should
have been. Man. Put it in character, and then say, oh,
I was only joking, man, Sure wasn't character Sorry about
what I said about your old lady. Man, I know
(05:38):
she's a bit wagy. I know it's Glendule fucking Ginny Seck.
What the fuck am I talking about? Oh yeah, the
Hardy book. It's coming back, I swear down, man. The
only thing stopping me right was literally just taking the
computer out, putting in a microphone and then reading it out.
But it takes a long time because I set the
(06:00):
bar too.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
If it was just me talking like this, I would
have fucking done it long ago. But also I get
bogged down in redrafting, doing it over and over again.
But I have about fifty thousand words and they will
be done and I will finish it. It will be
done by spring out and that's how it's gonna go.
And this podcast is coming back once a week, baby, Yes,
so get back in. Tell your friends be like Durkin's
(06:25):
back man, And he's more unhinged than he ever was.
Age has calcified him somewhat, and his opinions are rigid.
He lives in the pest, yes, baby, I live in
the past. I've been playing the remake of Resident Evil four,
featuring Lord Stolar and Ava Wong. I'll tell you one thing, man,
(06:46):
she's got a fucking class body. The body work on
Aida wang Man. They must have brought in motion capture
specialists from ex Hamster. Ah, yeah, I don't watch that
no more. Man. I gave up fucking watching blue movies
because it was no good for me. Man. I keep
the chi in now. And what I do is I
(07:06):
have sex with women in real life instead of my
own hand ah. Watching other people being cook hoolded man,
watching other people having sex with good looking women, being
like class man, class man. Next thing oo, dirty bastards.
(07:29):
Shame on them, bah'm you, bahrem you, the shame, the grief,
the dirt be true, shame on you. See. All my
jingles in my mind have been calcified from pop cultural
shite that I crammed into me brain box as a
(07:51):
young fella. I would watch films and be like, yeah, man,
it was based on a true story. It's true as fuck. Man,
it's so true him out of a Hollywood movie. They
would never lie. Man. And then you figure out reality
TV shows just as bad. I was watching Real Housewives
of t'punkin recently, and I was like This is all
(08:13):
made up. Man, they're making this up. I know they're
real people hurry themselves out, but it's fake. Man. It's
fucking edited to make people look a certain way. You
can do that to people if you get them to
sign a release form. You can make them look like
whatever you want them to. Baby. Oh, Justin Healey man
(08:38):
from Artie as in Justin Healey at art dot Ie
isn't like the big channel producer there. What's going on
with Hardy Book? Seving? He's five, Man, I'm calling you out,
baby boy, I'm calling you out. And it's a call
of a call to action from the Hardy Books fan base.
You're wondering where the show is? Man, Why you might ask,
(09:00):
in this day and age with so much low hanging
fruit to ridicule, mock and satirize, why you may implore?
You might say, edy, Man, what's going on? We haven't
had a series for seven years. Some characters have gone
a wall in real life, but don't know what's happened
(09:20):
to them. They've gone into fucking Hermitsville, Hermitage, green Job.
They've just gone man like the fucking lad on the
back of the Led Zeppelin four album, Just Walking round
on top of mountaintops, holding lamps with beards and robes
on them, just looking down into the valley being like,
(09:42):
don't know about that, man, don't know about that. Man,
don't know about that man. Other lads have gone chasing
corporate coin, soft money for soft chat. But the only thing,
Justin that will reunite the bond of comedy prowess is you.
(10:08):
But where were you? You wasn't there, man, You wasn't there.
And I know Tommy Booboo Dolls is out there listen
to this going he raises a very good point in fairness,
I'll do it. I will do it.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
I just gotta get some stuff sorted at first, but
I will It will be done. It will be done.
I got straight side. Man, he's waiting there going, Oh,
hold your mind once a new series coming. I'm on
top need of firm. If I don't get firm now,
I'll take a mallet to someone's temple, down and ball
(10:46):
and robe and I'll be like, stall on the ball there, Sonny, Jim.
We'll get it going.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Man, don't worry, boys, I'll have a word with Justin
Heally now on the podcast. Justin, I know you're listening.
To me, man, I know you're there, don't even though
you look like I'm gonna google what you look like now, Man,
So I got a good look at you, and I'm
gonna talk to you through your jpeg. Let me see now,
Justin heally Artie, let me look at you so we
(11:14):
get a look at you. What do you look like? Man,
let's gotta look at you. Oh, well, you've got a
good old head of hair on you. I'm looking at
you there now, Justin, there's a daily mail. It's as
kiro Callahan quits. Oh ah, your classic, this classic classic
TV producer soup jacket and T shirt combo, the kind
(11:36):
of club or i'd wear back in zero seven. Man, Oh,
I know what you look like? No, Justin s you're
not a bad looking lad man, you know what I mean?
Take it down, we'll do if he waits in the
outdoor gym, man self and yourself go for a few
pints then down here, it says the young defenders to return.
Oh when's this man? The two Johnny's late night locking. Oh,
(11:59):
Mike Fry You like those boys, don't you? You'd give
them the touch? Like? But what about us? Justin? What
about us? Lads, there'll be people on red at Ireland saying,
oh her Dirk comes on the podcast there man, Oh
cringe man, Oh so cringe. He was just going on
about it for twenty seven minutes about Justin Healey, the
(12:20):
producer of RTE. Oh the cringe man. He's not like
the viper. The viper. Oh he's great man. Oh his
live streams are unreal man. But durkin' oh oh, you
know what I say to you, hypothetical fucking bad boy
of whoever you are on Twitter. I'll fucking beinge you
over man, and I'll put a scallion up your arsehole
(12:42):
in front of your parents, and I'll be like, look
what he made me do. This is your fault for
raaring such a fucking soft handed clim And if you
have any bother man, I'll take that scallion. I'll chop
it up. Finally, I'll put it into some nice brandy
butter with some nice scallops and a bit of white wine,
(13:04):
throw a bit of garlic then freshly pressed. Makes him
tagle a telly. Then Ah tossed the lot man and
the side servant of some sort of balsamic mozzarella neopolitan
fucking side garnish and I'll say to you, how would
you like them onions count? Now? Yeah, it's a very
(13:26):
sponsor friendly format here, with such talk of me having
full blown conversations with people who may or may not exist.
But I'll tell you one thing, Man, the podcast is
back all engines blazon Man a V eight of creative power.
You will rejoice at the weekly format. Like I said
(13:46):
earlier on the hardest thing was man. The hardest thing
was Man was just getting the fucking laptop out and starting,
because I know that when I get going, I can't stop.
And then I also know the crushing, the disappointment of
being interrupted and then being like, I must get that done.
But then other things take over and then I end
(14:07):
up watching X Factor failed auditions with sim and cow
Louis Ethano. No that to know from me? Yeah, no,
I don't think so. Oh, come on, Simon, we know
we're good enough. No. One of my favorite ones is
a sister act, a duo called So Precious, and they
(14:28):
come out and they saying it's over and done. But
the moment Liza Destiny childcover watch it. Please watch that too,
Matchline Sopranos lean, It's great and back on series four.
I binge watched four episodes yesterday and there before. It's great.
(14:49):
I enjoy it. Johnny Sacramoni, he's a great actor. Vince Caratona,
he's a great guy. Follow him there on X. He's
a little bit like James Woods, except he's a bit
more reliant James Woods. Apparently it's goett a fucking IQ
of one hundred and ninety seven. James Woods. He was
in that bullshit program called shok. Come on a lay
over there on the stage. I haven't really been watching
(15:10):
much TV lately, man, on account of it all being shy.
That's why we need to get back on TV. Turn
the ship around. Man.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
But the thing is television, man. They don't have the
money they once did because you got lads in the
bedroom playing fecking video games with a viewership bigger than
any terrestrial television could ever dream of. That's what up
against now, lads, that's what up against. People say, man,
what about getting some sort of crowd funding thing? And
(15:42):
I'd be like, it's a waste of time, man. I mean,
just trying to get the word out there is one thing.
But trying to get cunstant shell out a few Bob
in this economic downturn. I'm telling you, man, a'd to
beyond fucking Twitter a good bit looking things. I'd be
watching Earl Soilente, the trends forecaster, and he's talking about
(16:04):
the office retail bus that's coming, saying that he's been
talking about that for a couple of mazoons now, so
he has a couple of mazoons now. But it just
looks like it's called schipe. Man. The old Swedish chrone
is not worth a fuck, and the euro's not doing
too bad, but you know, the old pipeline getting bombed.
It really fucked up Germany there, man, because there's one
(16:25):
thing that the the hegemonic empire doesn't like, and that
was infinite cheap gas from Russia and the economic powerhouse
that is Central Europe. Now, with that fucking stopped, unemployment
is on the rise in Germany at a cool six
point one percent. Can you imagine a country as big
(16:46):
as Germany with a six point one unemployment rate and hyperinflation? Oh,
camier man. I was in the States twice last year, yeah,
and I was like, fuck this, man, I'm saving the
you bob to want to get home because it's actually
cheaper than the States. Bought myself a boiled egg there
(17:07):
when I was in Chicago for nineteen euro and I
was like, they had big windows, man, because you've seen
me coming. Oh ho. And that's gospel according to Eddie Hobbs.
What else am I going to talk about? I don't
want to bounce ideas off here. Man. Coligan was post
(17:28):
me on, Yeah, where are you know? Colgan? You did
your own little podcast, didn't you. You should have been
on this man, or should have say, buzz man, where
were you? Oh? Here we go again? Consan read it going.
Oh man, I was listening to him there the way
he's calling out other people on the podcast. Man, he
just sounds like so salty. He's evil, He's he's demonic. Man,
(17:51):
He's cruel, He's some sort of wielder of cruelty. He's
so obtuse. His panil gland has been calcified by his
cruel rhetoric. Oh man, cringe. Oh. I was cringing so
hard that my satchel tightened up like an old leather shammy.
And I got myself a job on. Was cringing so hard, man,
(18:15):
Oh man, I'm just I'm just going to write this
and put a link and I'd be like, literally can't
oh cringe in block capitals. Like I said, Man, I
will find you. I know who you are, and you
will get bummed with a scallion on a fucking spring
(18:37):
moon and take that one to the bank and on. Man,
But I really gotta keep the fucking jack going here.
What else was I gonna write about? Oh yeah, no,
tear man. Yeah, oh comere? What events wrapping up twenty
twenty four? Oh yeah, well there's a fair bit to
(18:57):
talk about. A year's worth of chat there, man, myself
and the cowboy Kelly and and fucking Peter French tours
the tool there. Man. We went to a little bit
of a tour around the UK that was good crack.
Myself and the boys were getting onto the boat and
the man was having a heart attack and we helped
save his life. That was pretty cool. It was nice
(19:18):
to go to Liverpool. It's been a long time since
it was there, like ten years. Lad. We had good crack,
good crack in Liverpool and a lot of building work's
gone up, you know. We got to play the skyline
looks different. Good.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Some parks now got a new footy stadium by where
Stanley Doch Markus was. It was very nice to go
back and have a look at the place I were
up in Manchester. We had a couple of pis, so
Manchester was crack. Nearly got into a scrap with some
young fellas and I came in and diffused it with
some mad chat.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
And yeah it was nice. It was a nice little trip.
But we're going to be going to Australia, No man oh,
New Zealand Dubai. We're going down Dubaie Way on a
Sunday week. We're going to see all these like old
coin tech bros such as Dylan Madden, other lads I
see on Twitter posting fucking aspirational money talk, telling you
(20:14):
boys and me how they became millionaire boys. But you're
just wondering are you that rich though, lads? Or do
you just dress up and shave the dome and wear
a cravat like Neil Strauss on the front cover of
the Game, a book written about lads who went pulling
women by a lad who had no physical strength or hair,
(20:39):
but he sat and he took notes and studiously calculated
the chat they were incorporating into pulling women on nights
out that kind of vibe. Where do I get off
with this fucking stream of consciousness? Man, It's like the
fucking Leaving Sart all over again, which I covered in
the Hearty Book. Did I mention that Hardy Book is
(21:01):
coming back? Man? I mentioned it seven times. It's coming back.
Oh that's the next project. I'm gonna get that done
and dusted. But if you do like this, do indeed
Patreon Hardy Books. Apparently Patreon Apple being tight bastards, have
taken a thirty percent cut, So fuck that, man. Don't
even play into that. If you want, if you like
(21:22):
what you hear and you want to keep it going,
PayPal forward slash Maloney's digest Man, oh please, baby, hit
me up with a few fucking Peter Shilton's Yes, oh yes.
A lot of fucking mad crack going down the Middle
East there during the year the relentless murder of civilians
(21:44):
was happening down in Gaza, Syria fell into the hand
of in quotes, moderate rebels. But weren't they the same
gang of fucking nutters up an id Lib that America
got all pissed off about when Russia or in Syria
wanted to go in and finish them off. But then
they said, no, sure, the States are in there, man,
(22:06):
sucking out all their oil. It's a whole fucking swamp
down there of nutjobs.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Man.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
But I've been seeing some pretty fucked up videos coming
out of there. I won't even go into them, because
they were the kind of things that I kept thinking about.
Days later when I was driving the car, people asking
me why I was so quiet, and I was like, not, man,
just some fucked up stuff I seen on Twitter coming
out of Syria, and I mean fucked up stuff, and
(22:33):
it's like, great, man, enjoy the democracy. Democracy a Greek
expression used to describe a gang of people coming together
and using the power of numbers to express themselves as
a driving force. But these numbers can be tweaked, you see,
and when using such things as propaganda, you can twist
(22:58):
and bend the will of people perception to then vote
people in who are against their own interests. That's about
as far as it's gonna go there more. And you
might be like, Durkin, what do you know about this?
I'm I can't fuck you. Whoever you are, fuck off.
Presumably most of the people who listen to this are
(23:19):
sound anyway. So I'm not talking about you lads, just
talking about snidy fucking well actually merchants, people who think
they know it all, but they haven't a fucking clue.
They don't even know they were born. Man. They never
had to rough it out in the corners, the corners
of Schwinford, Man culchimah Kill, Kelly hard places. Lads who
(23:42):
drive tractors to school. They never went near that stuff.
They probably had fucking indoor heating and plumbing. Fucking soft
handed butter voucher boys. That's all there, man, Cheesy cunts
the domestic news. Now, I don't know Christmas will go crack.
(24:04):
Took it easy, played resid e before, Like I said,
hung out a couple of nights out go crack bos.
It was gonna go. Really, I was kind of glad
it was a nice, chilled one instead of being a
mental one. And there's been a couple of them over
the years, I'll tell you that, but it's been nice
taking it easy. The old pressure of Christmas gotta get
(24:25):
everyone presents, man, I mean what about I mean saying
that I didn't go to Mass. The old lady was disappointed, man,
she was disappointed. She was like, go to mass and
I was like, I will, I will, I will never
did do though, man never did do. But what can
you do? And make up for it this year? Man?
And make up for this year? Chat Pod? Oh but yeah,
(24:51):
come down to fucking Zealand come down with us on
the plane. Man we go tour in Australia. Then Fucking
Adelaide was the first one. Perth, Melbourne, Shelbourne. I know
a lot of places around Australia. Come and see one
of the gigs on the web pages, Man, follow me
there on the old Instagram or whatnot from TikTok job.
But I suppose as far as gonna go, it's just
(25:12):
basically an introduction podcast. There was other things I meant
to say, other things, but you know, I just don't
know anymore. Man. Like always, I always come to these
podcasts completely unprepared, and then I'll start with a couple
of lines. I'm like, that was pretty broad. I'll tell
you what I've written here, chat Pod Welcome Happy twenty
twenty five Events wrapping up twenty twenty four, Worldwide domestic Books,
(25:36):
News Predictions twenty twenty five. That's all I'd written. That's
all I'd written. Yeah, But to be fair, I managed
to go off the dome for a good seven hundred
and seventy four bars. While are we talking about bar? Okay,
So I'm looking here in the top little window because
I do these on logic X. I mean, I've got it.
(25:56):
I'm doing this on a ten year old computer like
I was gonna buy Want a couple of moons ago. Yeah,
And I was like, you see, the thing is with
buying Apple, you know, because if you're working in broadcasting,
you have to use Apple. Go to a Starbucks Starbucks,
go to a Starbucks and sit there with your nice
Apple laptop, and people are like, oh, that lad's doing
(26:19):
very well. He's not using the one of these windows
like Dell or Tashiba or Assos. He's one of these
MacBook people. He's doing very well. He's a fucking He's
one of those freelance jobs. And I was like, yeah, man,
but the thing is they all look the same, but
they're very different under the hood. See, when I'm buying
(26:41):
a new computer, I want to get the top spec.
But nowadays trifonel cost you fifteen years of compound interest.
It's Apple man. When when when Steve Jobs, he might
have been a pretentious fucker, right. It was Paul and
neck and little John Lennon Gleshian's on him. But he did,
he did keep it affordable, and he kept he kept
(27:04):
all the products at the same level. Nowadays it's a
pay to play a teared system. Oh do you want
the old new chip here? Oh that'll cost you. You
want the memory? Sorry about that? The memory? Oh bit
of extra TERRIBI did that? Sorry about that. I had
(27:25):
a bit of a cough. I got so animated while
talking about fucking Tim Cook. Get me a cough, Bill
Gates spirits me load letter box or Bill Gates? He
fucking fatit, little bassnger. What surprises have you got laid?
That tell you one thing, man, I do a lot
of talk about that Bill Gates. But he's evil. Man,
(27:47):
He's wrong. And and if I ever get my fucking
hands on them, man and twitched tits off him with
me teeth, and I'd be like, suck on that billy boy,
and then I'll put him in a fucking box, cardboard box,
like the kind of you put a fridge in. Just
kick them down the fucking flight of stairs and then
film it. Put it up on World Star Hip Hop
(28:10):
and I'll be like Gates kicked down stairs. And then
the fucking English tabloids will have funny reductionary language use
to describe it, such as tech boffin mercer so sorry,
tech boffin mercilessly tossed downstairs by redheaded nutter. You know,
(28:36):
because the tabloids, man, the way they write is very clever,
the way they condense words, like they would use such
expressions like I remember one's reading about rottweiler that mauled
child and it said devil dog malls tot tot like
(28:57):
they use their own style of chat. That'll me is
ever reported on with like in the context of reading
tabloid journalism, tot boffin fucking daft shite. Stop reading that, man,
Stop it. I mean, look at broad sheets are the
other way. Then it's fucking bespectacled nonsense. I mean, I
(29:20):
just don't know, man, Just watch YouTube videos. It's the
best way. Man. People like, wow, would you know the stuff?
You know what you do watching a YouTube? I'm like, yeah,
if you wanted to figure out how to make a
fucking dovetail joint for a table or a cabinet you've
been building at home, would you go on to YouTube, yeah,
or would you go on to WICKI howe and fucking
(29:42):
cough leave me be. I need some Robert Tutsen recommended
by doctor Mum to help me get off this chesty
fucking vibe I've been on the last two minutes. I've
enjoyed this podcast. I actually I took a bit of
a break there towards the end to listen back to
it to see what degree of waffle I was jammering about.
(30:04):
And I have to say it made me laugh. I
enjoyed listen to it myself, and I mean that would
make sense considering it came out of my mind. I
was listening back to it, going, do you know what
that lad there? He has a lot of points I
agree with. But then I was thinking back to the
hypothetical shadowy bad Boys of Ireland subreddit, Hardy Books and
(30:28):
other places. I mean, look, a lot of ye boys
are fucking sound on that, but then there's a lot
of schneeky bastards on that too. And you know what
I will do, man, I'll get you between me thighs
and just squeeze your face and I'd be like shniff
my baff fool but I will do that, and I
will find state Side and I'll be like, state Side
(30:49):
got this lad here man sit on his face for
nine clammy minutes and he'll be like, right, yeah, well
it's got us another series more, and I'm like yeah, man,
d ray Morton job sound predictions for twenty twenty five
expect more carnage, another presidency from Trump and all the
(31:12):
usual bullshit of my candidacy is about big changes. Oh,
the changes are gonna be so big, seeing in and
fake news and all the usual oul stuff. Man, it'd
be great news for TV. Do you know what you'll do, man,
You'll do fuck all. They're all a bunch of fucking knobs, man,
(31:33):
all of them. I fucking know time. I'm a political atheist, man,
I'm politically homeless. The only fucking people I support me kids, men,
you know what I mean. That's about as fucking fair
as That'll go. Bastards than say anything to get into power, man, waffling.
People are like, oh I really like that, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's good. The candidac is some great talking points, man,
(31:56):
yeah yeah, yeah, saying people are getting all the time.
Look at some of the climsy has around him. Man.
I mean the guy is seventy eight years old. There's
younger men than him in nursing homes having to be
washed and fed. Do you know what I mean? Why
couldn't they put some young whipper snapper who won't cave
into corporate evil Because there's a lot of corporate evil
(32:20):
that runs the States, the UK, Europe, people who'll do
anything for money. What good is all the money in
the world here when it costs you your soul? For
the love of money is indeed the root of all evil.
And I tell you one thing. Evil loves money because
with money you can buy your way to anything. Look
(32:40):
at man. The only fucking reason we have that, shiitey,
because some people made it that way. Oh and you
be judged about how much money you earn if you're
making people money, doesn't matter what you do. Man, Oh
they look after you. Got some fucking life called Jacob
Poland bringing me Why you ringing me, man, fucking not
(33:02):
answering that could be fucking anybody. Man, could be fucking
anybody obviously, someone like fucking know, like from many moons ago.
But I mean in the middle of a podcast, man,
you know what I mean? In the middle of a podcast,
people ringing the man. The phone never stops. Man, the
phone's my biggest distraction. If you want to know why
nothing's happened, thank the phone, that bloody phone. As Tony
(33:25):
Soprano will say, we're better off before the phones. He's
not wrong, man, we were better off. But now our
heads are filled with nonsense, non stop nonsense. It was
bad enough for TV and videos, but now, man, it's
NonStop bmbardment of shite. Wave after a wave, after a wave,
(33:46):
after a wave, a fucking non stop shite. The human
brain isn't designed to have such information pumped into your mind.
One hundred years ago, didn't even have to fucking television
screen man. You'd have to get dressed up to go
to the cinema to watch Charlie Chapman falling about the place.
That was about as fucking extended as the whole situation was.
(34:08):
Nowadays you got people doing TikTok dances and oh, I
don't know it is. I'm an old man, a crumudgeon
talking shite. I'm old now, man, I'm old. And how
old Tony Soprano was up until series three? Maybe do
you know what I mean? And he was old then
looking back. But I have to say I'm talking a
lot about sopranos lately because that's all I'm watching. Don't
(34:30):
watch much stuff now, don't watch much stuff at all.
Once upon a time, I was there trying to climb
the greasy pole of the acting world, and I was like,
this is just lad's pretending. You know what I mean, Wow,
give him an award. The Oscar goes to the lad
who lost a load of weight and put more weight on. Cool,
good work man. And then he went and he read
(34:52):
some script and then he pretended and man, people are crying.
The music was stirring, the editing was slick. Cool. Oh,
marvel Marvelo coming out with another film. What is it
this time? Tax return Man, the accountant. He's the guy
who just fucking pays all the tax for like Nick Fury.
(35:13):
And the flying ship is like that big flying ship
from the Advengurers. Man, there's a nuclear powered because I'm
wondering how propellers can keep that thing in the air
for an indeterminable amount of time. It has to be,
it has to be. It's not even a real ship. Man.
I don't want him talking about in such depth. I
was the kind of guy that would watch a film
(35:34):
and if someone would walk into a kitchen, usually an America,
with bags of shopping paper bags, and something would happen
and it'd be a horror movie and they'd walk in
and they'd leave the back door open or the front
door open, and then they would see someone someone's just
been killed, and they'd be like, oh, and drop all
(35:55):
the shopping on the floor. Man. I'd be like, first
of all, close the door and lock it behind you
to make sure the fucking monster is not behind you.
And if there is some sort of freaky scene going
on in the house, put them up on the fucking worktop, man,
and then put them in the fridge, and then investigate it.
Then call the cops. Do you know what I mean?
Like nowadays, Like back in the old movie days, someboddy,
(36:18):
usually wearing a pair of gloves, would come and snip
the phone line so people would be trapped in the
house and be like, oh, no, we're inside the house, man,
Oh how we can't call the cops? Fat use they
would be anyway nowadays it's oh no, man, someone took
her mobile phones or there's no reception. What will we do?
(36:40):
But it'd be like, can you imagine how Like there's
a film called The Ritual. Yeah, it's good film, Netflix
job about a bunch of lads who were on a
camping trip in Sweden someplace. Yeah, it was actually filmed
in Romania. Good film, though, man, good film. And you
know the boys are like, oh look we're a bit late, man,
we'll have to go through this spooky forest. It's a shortcut,
and then bad shit happens, and you kind of think
(37:02):
to yourself, you know, if that was me, I'd be like, actually,
if it was a couple of boys liked be like
a bit of crack, we'll go in the woods here, man,
you know what I mean. But maybe that's not the
best idea of a film. But there's a lot of
other films, whether it be if you know, if you
just phoned someone, that wouldn't have happened, and therefore it
wouldn't have been a you know, a film, horror film.
(37:23):
There's a lot of horror films that if you just
use your basic common sense, you'd be like, oh, man, yeah,
let's go to that fucking seance in that old abandoned spookehouse.
I'd be like, nah, man, how about we just go
down the pub and have a few pints, maybe a
little bit of fucking chicken wings or something, you know
what I mean, Like tangy, beautiful orange buffalo sauce garnished
(37:45):
with like a blue cheese cheddar fucking dip job, oh
fresh celery, the tang of the vinegar, the heat of
the cay and pepper, you know, like the crispiness of
the skin, the omami flavors you bite into the shell.
Oh man, you know what I mean. Like, that's that's
(38:06):
what I would be doing, Like, yeah, let's go into
the spooky house. Oh yeah, no, no, man, you're a
right fucking going home man, going home made itself a
fucking bit of food, like and just go to watch
some shit on the phone, then go to bed, you
know what I mean. Meanwhile, that fucking spectered, spooky little
(38:27):
lad who'll be living into the house, he'd be like,
I'm looking forward to going kill a few daft pricks,
but I may as well just zip off into some
other dimension called shite elsewhere, I suppose, and then lads
with like a construction company to come and fucking knock
the house. Then, but then what if the evil spirits
(38:47):
are still on the ground, like, get a priest in
then to be like, lad's gotta get the priest in here,
get rid of this lad. But then one if the
priests gets attacked by the monster. What kind of monster?
Talking like Freddie and Jason Job. See if there was
a Freddie and Jason job. Yeah, And if I knew
that there was a lad going around with a hockey
mask in a machete, and I'm like, he's in there, man,
(39:08):
the fucking the big, the big fucker with the machete,
I'd be like, lads, look, we've got to get a
van full of hard shams together. Yeah, and we'll all
go in there at once kick the fucking shit out
of them. So imagine this. Yeah, let's just take there's
a house in ballin Robe in County Mayo, and there's
apparently Jason is in there. Yeah, and he's in there,
(39:31):
and he's fucking he's got bad intentions. He wants to
kill people. And I'd be like, lads, look, there's a big,
massive bastard in there with an ugly head and fucking
hockey mask and a machete. He's out to do damage.
We need some vigilante justice. Here and I'll be telling
everyone and I'll be like, come on, honestly, like even
go down to the guards. The guards be like, now
that's what's what's going on down there. There's there's reports
(39:53):
of a lad wearing a boiler suit and he's got
a machete in a hockey mask. Because it's a lad's joking,
we'll send the boys down there for like, lads go,
we'll follow you just in case. Like in the guards,
the guards are going there with nothing but a torch, yeah,
and then they might get attacked and then they'll they'll
have to ring the arm response unit and I'll be like,
(40:13):
fuck this, boys, we're going in helping the guards man.
And then there'll be a couple of us. You know,
he'll swing the machete a few times, one or two
lads all get fucking done. But like if we all
go in there together, right, and we just fucking take
baseball bats and like a pitchforks and a couple of knives,
you know, some lad will probably have a shotgun because
(40:33):
he lives on a farm, Like, and we'll go in
there and then like the lad with the shotgun, fucking
send him in there first. But there he is, lads,
it's fucking jaysum Man. Fucking blow his head off, and
then just send the rest of the boys in there
to finish him off, and then take him to some
sort of fucking metalwork factory and then just put him
(40:53):
in a fucking furnace full of malt and steel, stick
him in the block, then take the fly it out
from Knock Airport in the back of a cargo plane,
fuck him off, then in the middle of the ocean,
and he'll never come back. He will never come back
or Willie. I don't know, But that's about us. That
(41:13):
that's that's I keep saying. That's about as far as
it's gonna go because I've been watching too much fucking
Simon Cowell. But that's that's how I would do it,
like you know what I mean, that's that's that's the
way I would take care of a baddie like Jason.
You know, he causedn af a lot of shite, that
lad saying with that fucking Freddy Krueger job with the clause.
I met him in real life once about twenty years ago. Man,
he was sound. It was a sound Lad told me
(41:35):
the story about how Sylvester Stallone was just sitting in
the room with the windows blocked out, with a bowl
full of apples and the lamp and a typewriter. And
six weeks later he came out with Rocky wand the
screenplay written. And of course he he based it on
Chuck Wepner, the truck driver that went the distance against Ali.
(41:58):
He didn't win, but he went the distance and his
face was all bashed in afterwards. But I'll tell you
one thing, man, fair player. The Chuck Wepner, he had
a weapener of a mustache on him and he went
in there, man, and he went dancing. Speaking of fucking
boxing man. The Jake Paul Tyson fight. Bit of a
letdown that wasn't It looked like Tyson was maybe pulling
(42:18):
a few punches. And they're like, no, Tyson's old, man,
he doesn't have it. Like I've seen the training videos, man,
I saw them. I've seen those videos. And Tyson like, yeah,
he might be old. And maybe the cardio obviously is
what it's gonna be. But it'd be like driving a
four GD Mustang from sixty eight that you just you know, refurbished.
(42:39):
Yeah it's old, but there's power there and it packs
a punch and if he clocked Jake Paul like he
could have done. Oh but lights out, man, lights out. Well,
I'm gonna head off now, and I hope you enjoyed this.
Sorry about all the coffin man, Like I said, was
(43:00):
fucking Bill Gates man. He was spraying singing out of
drones man. And like I said, if I ever get
my hands on him, I'll ripped the fucking shirt off
his back. The little bastard. Fucking bash him in good.
Take him down to the fucking China towne. It's a
different scene, man. There are people down there who are obscene.
(43:21):
If you see what I'm mean and live so to
the dream down in Chinatown, what goes up must come down.
Dily dely dely dely dely dely de do, dude de
deo dily littly do. For any of you wondering there,
(43:46):
you were like, what's this beef with fucking China town man?
That was a call from Thin Lizzies Chinatown featuring the
guitarist works of the late Gary Moore. So there, I
wasn't having gold Chinese people, man, I don't really have
any gripe with them at all. I mean to be
fair to the to the Chinese boys on the geopolitical
world stage. They make deals. They don't just fucking arrive
(44:09):
bomb the fuck out of everyone. Yeah, look, they're out
to make a few fucking quid, but they do it
pragmatically through business and negotiations. They don't just go, oh,
these people are being oppressed, we need to give them
democracy and then just blow the fuck out with them
with your merchant navy and your drones and fucking a
(44:29):
ten tank busters and you know, fucking f sixteen jobs,
do you know what I mean. They just go in
there and they're like, how's going boys, you're looking for
a few pounds. That's a nice bit of a coal
you've got there. We'll buy that off you. Oh a
bit of call tan down the congo. Listen, man, we'll
take it. We'll look the other way. I know it's
(44:51):
bad form, but look at this laptop, your phone, you're
listening to this on It's all got it in it, man,
it's all in there. I heard recent those straws are
apparently poisonous. You know, everyone was like, oh the environment,
plastic straws. Man. You know, first of all, if you're
gonna fucking if you're gonna stop with anything plastic. Do
(45:11):
something about the ring you know that the rings around cans,
Like there's a real danger those getting caught in in
in creatures, like you know what I mean? And if
they're so, if they were so into the straws, like
what about the lids they're made a plastic two Like
I got bottle tops. I mean, now now the bottle
caps are attached and at first I just thought they
were some sort of malformed seal. But you know, the
(45:37):
lids to they can the bottles. Now they're annoying. You
can't pull the bastards off. I do appreciate the fact
that the lids uh gettached to the bottle is more
of a makes more sense from a recycling point of view,
and not whine going so deep off the fucking edge
with that. But like apparently the straw I'm gonna I'm
gonna actually fact check this by using Google. Okay, straws
(46:03):
paper poison? Now, this is all I heard was anecdotal
evidence yesterday, it says here. A recent study has also
highlighted another potential concern. Paper straws, assessed by researchers from
University of ANTVOP Belgium have found to contain more forever
chemicals and quotes per and polyfloralkli substances than plastic. Wasn't
(46:28):
it funny?
Speaker 3 (46:29):
Like you know, it's uh, some people say, Durkin, you're
a very fucking paranoid, bloody tinfoil hat man. But it's
like all these things, right that contain these fucking weird chemicals,
but they're pitched in a way that is good. So
it's always the classic bait and switch, like you're better.
(46:50):
Why do we need to fucking drink through straws anyway?
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Man? What's wrong with the fucking paper lid? Like a
coffee cup? You know, yeah, it's a two and one
combo unless you're drinking a milkshake, but like if you're
drinking a soft drink. I mean, there was a study
came out recently that said Coca cola was actually so
every drink of co cola reduced ten years off your life.
(47:13):
Cork drink takes ten minutes of your life. Every time
you reach for a coke, you could be losing twelve
minutes of your life, as scientists have claimed. The worrying
statistics were found in the study conducted by the University
(47:34):
of Michigan, which delved into just how much to certain
processed foods take from your life. That's from Metro dot
co dot UK. Hindustand Time says cock dikes twelve minutes,
hot dog thirty six minutes off your life. Well listen, man,
fuck it. Do you know what I mean? Fuck it?
(47:54):
How many years off my life has taken? Fucking chats
and smoking Benson. You know, it's like you add life
to your years, not years to your life. I mean,
what's the point living? To you about one hundred and
twenty if it's shy crack and you can't do anything.
That's what I've come to. I'm forty two years now, Yeah,
and my fucking mouth is filled with mercury fillings and
(48:17):
other weird shit because when I was a kid, I
would eat fucking sweets like a nutter, so much so
I would get cravings in my kidneys because I just
needed the sugar. I was badly addicted to sweets. And
also I'm a bit fond of the drink. But that's
normal enough for a man of my age from the
Republic of Ireland, because it's in our fucking DNA and
(48:39):
that's the way it is, however, a great crack. And
you know what, as me Owboy would say, the crack
at the laughter, And it's basically, I'd rather live a
fucking shorter life of gray crack than live a long,
boring life where I'm just wandering around slipping in the
snow being like, oh fuck this shit. You know, like,
(49:03):
I'd rather a couple of years, good few years. I mean,
I obviously don't want to fucking check out, but I'd
like to be fit and healthy and enjoy the crack
and uh, you know, fucking end up living by a
cool beach, nice chilled out people playing music, a couple
of nice drinks at the crack and the left, you know,
nice warm weather. Sure you can't even be out the
(49:24):
fucking sun because it's like I was in Kenkoon a
couple of years ago, got fucking roasted, man, the worst
scald than I ever got. And believe you me, as
a ginger boy, I got scalded in many places. I'd
be scalded. Man if I went outside on a Tuesday
in fucking April, you know what I mean, I'd be
(49:46):
sun burned sitting inside the dark room. But like, what
are you gonna do? Anyway, that's just me him fucking
rambling on. Now, I hope you enjoyed this, and if
you did enjoy it, throw me a fucking touch, whether
it's a five or ten or five thousand euros going
to PayPal forward Slash Maloney's digest because I tell you,
(50:06):
after the Christmas and cleaned out bices, woking, cleaned out
by presents, what can taxing, the care tax, fuck you tax,
Robin basts, fucking legalized theft from the working man, the
working man's fun and the bath that have been cleaned
out right, I love you and leave you look back.
(50:28):
Blessed last year Toashi
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