April 16, 2025 • 41 mins
Kara Stout is a writer, wife, new adoptive mom living in Los Angeles, California., and now a published Author! Her new devotional, An Untroubled Heart: Calming Anxiety and Finding God’s Peace, serves as a gentle reminder that God’s comfort is always within reach. This inspiring 30-day devotional invites readers to begin each morning in God’s presence and end each day in his calming embrace, providing a rhythm of peace for anxious hearts. Today, we chat about how she has experienced God's peace through her grief and through her waiting. I know you will be encouraged through her story today!
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Follow Kara on Instagram: @sincerelybykara
Check out her website HERE!
Pre-Order her new devotional HERE!
Subscribe to our new YouTube Channel and WATCH all episodes!
Follow me on Instagram:
Kathryn @kathryn_benko
Heart + Sole @heartandsolepodcast
Sole Fitness @sole_fitness
Follow Kara on Instagram: @sincerelybykara
Check out her website HERE!
Pre-Order her new devotional HERE!
Subscribe to our new YouTube Channel and WATCH all episodes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Heart and Soul Podcast with Catherine Banco.
I'm on a mission to celebrate breakthrough, empowerment and shameless
living in the lives of women everywhere. Join me and
let's live unashamed together. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back
to Heart and Soul today. I am joined by a wife,
(00:21):
an author, now, an adoptive mom, a believer. Her name
is Kara Stout. I'm so thankful to have you on
the podcast and to get connected with you today. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, okay, so we're gonna talk all about Kara's new
thirty day devotional, but before that, I just kind of
want to.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Get to know you, if that's cool. So if you wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Mind just like sharing with me and my listeners a
little bit more about who you are and what you do.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah, okay, So, yeah, you touched on some of the
things in the intro. So yeah. So I'm a wife, writer,
and mom. We adopted our baby girl. She's now twenty
months old. Yeah, and her name is Nora. Such a
blessing from God. And let's see, we live in Los Angeles, California.
(01:13):
We've been here eight years. We've been married fifteen years
in July, which time is crazy, Yeah, it's crazy. And
then we actually met in Chicago, where I went to
school for counseling. So I was a school counselor actually
in Chicago for several years. And then after I had
(01:35):
a carotted artery dissection, I then actually changed career paths
and studied nutrition and was a health coach for about
seven years. And then my mom was diagnosed with cancer
and then through her cancer journey, that's when I really
started writing about God because I was just seeing his
(01:58):
goodness so much in that season of like trials and
suffering in both my life and my mom's and I
just couldn't help but write. And so that was about
six is years ago. I started writing online on social
media and then her True Worth it's a women's online ministry. Yeah,
they're wonderful, So I was writing for devotionals for them.
(02:19):
And then now I've written my first book. Amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Okay, well, so much to dig into there, Like you
just like told me the story in like five seconds,
So we're going to dig into that. Would you mind
sharing more about your heart problem and what happened there? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So it was a crowded artery dissection, so it's a
tear in your crodit artery. It was in the neck area.
So actually it was one month after we were married,
which was crazy, literally to the day our one month
anniversary of being married. Yeah, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I was in the middle of spin class and it
wasn't that it was working out. I think there were
a few things going on in my life that led
to that, but I think that kind of just caused
it to happen. I think also maybe something was wrong
with the spin bike, but again a doctor couldn't say
exactly what. But anyway, it was during spin class. I
(03:14):
had all the symptoms of a stroke, but I did not,
Praise God, have a stroke. It was it's called a tia,
so it's all symptoms of a stroke. So I had
like numbness and tingling on the left side. I lost
sight in my I think it was my left eye.
Speech I couldn't. Like it was like like the nurse
(03:35):
would ask me what my birth date was and I couldn't.
It was like I knew what it was, but I
couldn't retrieve it and speak it. Wow. Yeah, and it was.
I did write about this in the devotional too that
in that time though in the hospital, I was there
for five days on blood thinners and I didn't have
to have surgery another praise, but they were monitoring just
(03:55):
to see how it was healing. And I was blanketed
so much in God's peace, Like I just felt him
carrying me. I was so weak, and yeah, he just
covered me in his peace. So just during that time
and then again as I touched on in the book,
and then when I did go home, that's when I
(04:15):
did start feeling a little anxious, you know, just processing
everything and then feeling like, oh, was it gonna happen again?
But He met me in that too with his strength
and his peace.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Okay, just digging deeper into that. How long have you
had a relationship with God? Was it like fresh to
you then?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Is that when you.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Got to know him in the beginning? Was it a
tragedy like that that drew you to him?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
What was it?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I love that you asked that question. That's so good.
So I grew up going to church. My mom was
like an incredible example for me. But really, so, okay,
so grew up going to church. And then I would
say when I was like eighteen or nineteen, I started
being becoming more influenced by the world. And then when
I moved to Chicago for graduate school. Chicago's a fun
(05:08):
It's a great city, so fun. But yet at the
same time, I was early twenties and I started going
out a lot drinking, so I was really straying, and
I don't it just didn't feel like it was a
really active relationship with God, not compared to what I've
had over the years. And so my dad, my dad
(05:30):
passed away actually before my mom. So I've lost both
of my parents to cancer. So sorry, Ert, thank you.
So my dad. I was like mid twenties. I lost
my dad cancer, and I really wasn't coping well. I
was drinking even more, going out a lot. Just I
wasn't trying to numit, like I wasn't consciously thinking, oh
I want to, I just was. I was just going
out and drinking. And then I got married, and so
(05:54):
I brought into the marriage a lot of grief that
I hadn't really processed. And so and then, like I said,
we got married, and then I had the credit artery dissection.
So it was like grief of my dad created artery dissection.
And then our marriage. It was hard the first three
years because all of that was going on, right, And
(06:14):
so God moved us out of Chicago to Dallas and
it was.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Such a friend Oh you are yeah, yay.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I didn't realize that that's where my mom lived. So
it was such a blessing. We moved for Michael's work.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
But really his name is Michael.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That is so funny. Where's Michael from? You're Michael.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
We're both from Dallas.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, we're both Okay. I love Dallas. I still I
have family there, my aunts there and cousins and wonderful place.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Yeah, it's great. It's big, it's spread out.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It is big, it's big. So yeah, so we moved
to Dallas, and really that's when God started his work
and me, he's the God drew me back to him.
I mean, he's the one that did all of that,
and he started doing work in my heart and Michael's heart,
and and that's really when my faith was changing in
the way of where it's at now, just like a
(07:06):
more personal relationship with him, depending on him. And then
definitely also then when I walked through cancer, my mom's cancer,
I mean, just all of that combined is what really
made God so real to me because there was just
no way that I could be walking through all of
that without him, without his strength and his peace. And
(07:28):
there was a lot of joy too, which is like
doesn't make sense, but he gave me a lot of joy.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So I think that there's like you get to fork
in the road when you experience something as painful as grief,
like losing your parents or your health problem, and you know,
you can choose one of two ways, and I think
a lot of I think a lot of people fall
into either angry at God, hut him out, or desperate
(07:56):
for God, need his comfort and hope, and you can
have a little bit of you know, like a roller
coaster where you're kind of going from one to the other.
And I've definitely experienced both during different seasons of grief,
but I often have like I always just come back
to the comfort and hope aspect, mainly mainly the hope
(08:17):
of like, if this is it, then what's the you know,
what's the point?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
There's got to be something bigger.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
And I think we've lost a few pregnancies in the
last five years, and we would always say to each
other is like, how could we do this without God?
How do people go through that type of loss or
that grief without someone in control to cling to? So
(08:51):
I find it very inspiring to hear from you that
amidst the grief.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
You didn't go away, You went tour God.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
And I know that's what a lot of your devotional
is about, which I definitely want to touch on. But
if you wouldn't mind sharing like how God met you
in that time of grief, and then also how you felt, like.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
How do I word this? How you felt how.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You felt like you connected with Him on an intimate
level rather than just like reading the word or but
more so like you and him, like how did he
meet you personally?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
And that grief?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Those are great?
Speaker 3 (09:35):
And would you mind pulling the mic a little closer
towards you?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yes? Sorry, please remind me that's better?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Is this better?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Or ye?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
When you hold it like as close to your mouth
as possible.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Okay, like this perfect? Okay, thank you for telling me. Okay,
So the first question you had said, through the grief,
what was what? Because I remember the second part of
the question, but what was the first part?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Again, Well, I'm trying to remember the first now too.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
The second part let's just go with the second first, like, Okay,
how did you intimately connect?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
How did he personally meet you in those sees?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And I love that because yeah, in the devotion I
do touch on just you know, how we can go
from like a knowing a knowledge of God to then
a personal experience with him. And I really feel like that.
I mean both are necessary, right, Like the word we
learn his character and then experience is we experience his character,
and I think both are just so important and powerful
(10:32):
and you know so for meuh, while you were asking
the question, I was just remembering this particular experience. So
I'll just go with that, okay. So okay, so my
so before my mom was diagnosed, I got a text
message from my aunt that my mom was in the
hospital and she told me a little bit of the
(10:53):
symptoms and I felt strongly God tell me don't google it.
And I say that because I tend to even now
like I'm better, but like I'll go, you know, down
this google rabbit hole sometimes yeah. Yeah, but I felt
so strongly the Holy Spirit like don't google it, and
I was like okay, and I just felt him also
in that moment, I might tear up because like it's okay.
(11:19):
Like he basically he made it clear that it was
cancer before any diagnosis. Yeah, so he just made it
clear in my spirit like that it was. And so
like I I for hours, I was just weeping and praying,
(11:39):
and I have worship music on, and I was just
praying and praying, yeah, for hours. And then the next
day I flew out to Dallas because that's where we
were living here and we had just moved here a year.
And then she was diagnosed, and so I was back
and forth the whole year. That really turned out to
be a blessing though, because I was staying at her
house for weeks and it was just God expanded time,
(12:02):
like it felt like years with her. But anyway, so
I woke up that next morning with so much peace.
It was crazy how much peace I had after that night,
and so much joy. It felt like I had so
much joy I couldn't contain it. And I just felt
it was like the joy from heaven. It's just that's
the only way I can explain. Like, And so I
(12:23):
had this, Oh, I have let me get a kleenex.
I had it right behind me just in case. Yeah. So,
so I was on the airplane again listening to worship
music and then and then I just know like he
was doing that for my heart, but then also preparing
me to take care of my mom with this same
joy and peace, so she didn't worry about me. I mean,
(12:46):
she's my mom, right, so we were super close, like
and so anyway, so I walked in the hospital and
even later she said, you walked in with the smile
and so much joy. And then when they told me there,
because they didn't tell me in the time message that
they had found a mass and when they told me
at the hospital, I already knew. And so it was
(13:06):
just incredible that I didn't just fall apart there in front,
like I mean I could have, right, but God just
God just wanted this whole experience, I think as a
way to show us all like this joy and peace
that is awaiting that was awaiting my mom. And yeah,
he just gave me this perspective on eternity and in
(13:27):
that moment. And so that was a deeply personal experience
for me with God. And during during there, it wasn't
grief just yet, but it was hard for me processing Okay,
I lost my dad. Here's now I potentially because you
know what, sometimes there is healing, you know, in cancer
(13:47):
and so but like that wasn't the case for for us,
and so I just I mean in his sovereignty, I trust,
I trust his sovereignty and his plan. But but yeah,
in that time I just really leaned on him heavily
and felt him carrying me. And so again that was
the personal aspect. I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
People who like don't have a personal relationship with God
would probably hear something like that and be like, what.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Like that doesn't make any sense. And I think that's
the point.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Is it's this like supernatural piece that you know, surpasses
all understanding, and it's really cool that He provides for
you and provided for you in that moment exactly what
you needed and what your mom needed as well as
the staff needed to see. I mean, we don't know
the impact that little actions we take can make on
(14:44):
the kingdom, and so to see, like you don't know
the impact of you walking in with like a peaceful
joy amidst this tragedy and to be a light in
that hospital. What that has how that has impacted possibly
one of the staff there to this day, their children,
or their family members or whoever. And that's the beauty
(15:06):
of the Kingdom I guess is that we all get
to play a part in it, but we don't necessarily
know the part.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
We don't necessarily know all the results of our part.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Yes, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
And to see how God knew in that moment, even
with your dad as well, that you would use your
grief to share the word and to write this devotional
and to get on podcasts and to publish on social media.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
And he knew that that impact that that would have.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And that doesn't necessarily mean that it's that means you
can just not grieve, you know, like there's so much
importance to experience emotions. Jesus did I mean, we're in
the middle of Holy Week and you know he entered
into Rome, the Roman Empire on a donkey crying. I mean,
there were tears in it eyes and he was he
(16:02):
was so stressed, like he's like you had mentioned that
he was, you know, sweating blood.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
And those are real.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Feelings and we're allowed to experience those and still have peace.
And it's like this weird paradox of how two things
can be true at the same time.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yes, I want to say I love that you're saying that,
because that is a huge piece of what I am
writing in the devotional is that we experience emotions as humans,
you know, we experience these and to be vulnerable to
God and honest with him and go to him, like
go to him. That's really how it was for me
and grief is I could continually went to him and
(16:39):
I was honest with him, and like, while I had
that piece and joy, you know, then there were definitely
times where it was like, very painful. I miss my mom.
I want to talk to my mom now I'm a mother.
My mom never got to meet my daughter. Like that's
so painful. Yeah, And I'm honest with God about that.
I'm like, God, I trust, I trust your plan and
(16:59):
I've piece when I do. But I'm also like, I
wish it could have been a different way, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
And I think that's the tricky part about some of
the words that are used, like we say or you say,
I had joy, and I think someone who maybe doesn't
know the joy of the Lord would think, like, oh,
she was just like giggling and happy and like jumping,
and like that's what you think when you see or
hear the word joy but true, it's a different kind
(17:28):
of joy, the joy of the Lord.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
It's it's abundance.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Even though even still, and I think a lot of
it has to do with the Kingdom mindset of like
this isn't our home and so we can still have
an eternal.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Vantage point on a on a very tough situation.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
So tell my listeners a little bit more dig into
this book when you started writing it, how it came
to be, like I'm going to publish this, and what
they can expect if they were to order it and
read it.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, so it is interesting. So we okay, so we
walked through infertility for seven years and then we started
the adoption process three years, so ten years total we
prayed and waited for our girl. And and what I
say that is it's interesting that I basically signed my
(18:23):
book contract when we adopted her. So here I was, yes,
writing my first book, trying to learn, you know, how
to do all of that, and then also learning to
be a mom, like you know, And so I was
writing while just completely being dependent on the Lord. And
(18:46):
so again there there are messages in the book also
again of total reliance on him, just in a different way.
Like you know, I shared different experiences, like we talked
about the Corona artery dissection, my health, grief and then
waiting and longing for children and just all of those
(19:08):
pieces of because the book is called an Untroubled Heart,
and it's really to discuss different ways that our hearts
can feel troubled in this world and that we you know,
just take Jesus at his words when he says he
gives us his peace and let not your hearts be
troubled in John fourteen. And because he gives us his piece,
(19:32):
and also he goes to prepare a place for us,
that's that's the other part of that, because it says
it twice in John fourteen. And so, like you had said,
that eternal mindset, Kingdom mindset really helps shift our perspective
through these trials, through our suffering and burdens and cares
(19:55):
and our anxieties. And I say, don't you know, I
encourage the readers to not suppress their emotions or bypass them,
but to acknowledge like this is hard. I'm having this worry,
or I'm suffering, or i have this despair. God help me.
And so I'm really trying to encourage each reader to
remember that God loves them and he's there and he
(20:18):
hears our prayers. It's through scripture that he hears when
we cry out to him, and so to go to
him quickly and try not to do it on your own.
And so I feel like that's a big heart behind
the book.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Right, And just to add on to that, forget the
polish when you go to him, not you personally, but
the listeners, Like, don't feel like you have to show
up polish because he already knows where your heart is
(20:52):
and what you're thinking. And you know, if it's just
like showing up to like a coffee date with a
friend and not telling them the whole story and then
expect them to like meet you where you need to
be met, it's it's missing the mark. So if you are,
you know, meeting with the Father who already knows you
intimately and knows what you're thinking, for you to like
polish it up in some like I don't know, fake
(21:15):
prayer or niceties or whatever, it doesn't it doesn't. Actually
it actually hinders the healing process because it's just a
part of grief is the wrestle.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
You know, there's the wrestling with God. Is part of it.
That's where we get to know him a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
And if you've ever had like an argument with a
friend or an argument with the spouse, like, it's actually
that tension that draws you all closer together. So I
only say that because when we've lost we've lost four babies,
and every time I was pissed.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
You know, And that's okay. Like, he doesn't expect me
to be like, oh, but your will be done and
be so polished in that moment.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Of course, I like, in my heart of hearts, want
to believe you know, your will be done, And but
in the moment, I'm angry, And that's okay to show
up angry. And that's just a part of the right
humanity process, yeah right. Knowing that with that though, we
also have been empowered by the Holy Spirit, and so
we can draw near to that type of supernatural peace
(22:26):
at the same time.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
But it's okay to wrestle through.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
It, yeah, absolutely, because yeah, again we're human, yeah, you know.
And and also, oh, there's something else I was thinking
about when you had talked about Jesus weeping, how that
shortest first Jesus wept during like with Lazarus, yeah, you know,
he took the time to weep even though he was
about to raise the ram from the dead, and so
(22:50):
that tells us, you know, that he sits with us
in our emotions, I believe, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Or even in that story. I did think I read
this in a devotional somewhere years ago. But it's up
with me, and maybe I'm like totally wrong. And if
I am, what call me out? But where one of
the sisters I believe it was Martha I can't remember
now anyways, runs out to Jesus and it's like, if
you had gotten here sooner.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
He wouldn't have died, He wouldn't have died.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
No, he doesn't say, like, I'm sorry she did. Yeah, yeah,
I can't remember which sister was it.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I think it was Martha because then I think Mary
like came out later and cried yeah or some yeah,
Martha did say that.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, And I think Mary came out and I think
she wept, And maybe I'm thinking of a different part
in the story. But all that to say is Jesus
welcomed both of those welcome.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Means to him, the one where she ran.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
At him and almost shifted blame if you had come sooner,
he'd still be here, and he didn't. He didn't like
challenge that necessarily. And then he also welcomed the tears.
And I read that once in a devotional as I
was grieving something, and I thought, oh my gosh, I'm
such a Martha right now.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And that's okay, you know, it's okay, Na, yes, because
you're honest with him.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, why don't you share the process
of writing an actual book is in that rabi ever?
Speaker 3 (24:18):
And then like just how long that process takes?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
And and then how I already know the release date,
but then share like the upcoming release date so that
people can like jump on jump into it with you.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Okay. So yeah, so it was well. I worked on
the book proposal for several months and originally, actually I
don't think I mentioned this before. So yeah, it's a
thirty day morning and evening devotional, and so originally I
was thinking it would just be like a nighttime devotional.
But then as I talked to like through the publisher
(24:52):
with it, we really wanted to do like a book
and morning and evening, and I really wanted to stay
with the evening because I do feel like we don't
often take time to go to God in the evening,
especially with devotionals, you know. So I just love that.
And I have prayers also morning and evening, so there's
sixty prayers total as well. And so anyway, so I
(25:17):
started in that direction and then like I said, then
we did the morning and evening, so there's sixty total entries.
And so I would say, yeah, I was writing it well,
like when I signed the contract, it was about a year,
but I mean I did start having pieces of it
coming to my mind before that. But yeah, the writing
process was about a year, and I again was just
(25:42):
completely dependent on God and I just like every time
I would sit down to wray, just God, what do
you want me to say? What do you want me
to write? I really need your help, you know, And
He would always meet me. And there were times where
it would flow, you know, the words flow, and there
are times where I would wrestle with the words, but
he would bring me to the completion. And so you know,
(26:04):
he's so faithful in that what he calls us to do,
that he will help us see it through. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
and to.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Do that all while becoming a new mom, I know,
which is the hardest thing I've ever done, motherhood.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So it's so to do that, to like do that.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And then also, you know, Steward this calling of writing
this book in a year. Yeah, that's that's really cool
that you did that. All that the same for you.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
So you have how old is your I have two
children now.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I have a three and a half year old boy,
and then I have an almost ten month old girl.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Okay, yeah, oh wow, that's great.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yeah, yeah, it is, and it's a lot, but it
is obviously you know, you know, you've waited, you've prayed
for it.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
It's like everything you could ever dream of.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
But it's also very hard, and especially that first year
and to do to take on that type of project
while also taking on the project of just like keeping
this new little human alive and weep like this all
of it is crazy. And then also I don't know
if this is the same for you, but motherhood has
(27:22):
brought me a new perspective on how God sees us
as his children. Yes, yeah, like we I had a
women's treat. I went to a women's retreat this last
weekend with my church, and like I go to I've
been to a million women's retreats at this point in
my life. Yeah, and then but this is the first
one I've been to since becoming a parent, and like
(27:44):
overnight women's retreat where it's like no kids, you know,
and I'm just like missing my baby and I'm like
almost feeling like an actual physical piece of me is
like missing. It felt like really weird, like an identity shift,
and the a level of weepiness I had, not just
about missing my kids, I mean about like the messages,
(28:05):
like because I was I was connecting with the Father
as a mother now and like reading the words, hearing
the words differently. I mean even just like we're at
church every Sunday, but something about the worship felt it different,
Like everything felt very just like sensitive in a good
way of like if I love I mean I was
(28:28):
away from my kids for one night, if I miss
them and yearned for them so much in one night,
like how much more does our Father and Heaven like
yearn for our love and attention and.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Time. So it was a wake up call.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
So anyways, all to say, imagine writing a book and
that level of desperation and then also learning all these
new things about how God sees you as his child.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Yes, and then putting that on paper is that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah. Yeah, but I love that and I do touch
a little bit on that. Yeah, what you said, I
love what you shared is so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
So what would you say to a woman, because let's
be real, only women listen to this, A woman listening
to this podcast, who is.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
In a season of waiting right now?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Like a quick piece of encouragement that you heard or
wish you would have heard when you were in a
season of waiting.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Okay, let me think that's a great question. Well, okay,
this is so I would say because I'm thinking of
what really can I maybe say like what I felt
like I learned in it? Lace Yeah, so for me personally,
and I want to say that this wasn't immediate. This
(29:49):
was again a ten year process, and there was a
point where I really didn't know if I would ever
be a mother, you know, after after years and years,
and you know, I just I remember asking like saying, God,
I really don't know if I'll ever be a mother.
I mean I had the longing, but I just didn't know.
And so he really brought me to a point where
(30:12):
I knew he was good even if I never was
a mother and that he even if I never became
a mother, and and that in the waiting though, what
he shifted my perspective of that he was my joy.
There's a joy word again and a joy no matter
(30:34):
what I mean. And and I only say that because
he brought me to that point. That wasn't just like
a let me just It wasn't forced. And that's what
I want to say, Christian, and I talk about this
in the book too, Christian joy is not forced, It's
not fake, you know. It's this joy like we talked about,
that's based on heaven and and eternity, and that really
(30:56):
that that meets us in the middle of our waiting
and our suffering because he is our joy. I feel
like that's really what I learned that and just pressed
into that, like God, this is painful. I don't know
if you're gonna answer this, but I trust you and
You're my joy no matter what. But that that was
just through the years, because there were I mean, mother's
(31:18):
days were really hard at times, you know, and I
had this pain and I and you know, I saw friends,
you know, having children and multiple children, and I was like, whoa,
you know, because I old, was I well, let's see,
I was like, I think forty one when we adopted her,
(31:39):
So you know, I really really was like I don't know,
you know, but so I don't know. I don't know
if I answered your question, but I just feel like
that's what I learned a lot, is that like God,
you're my joy in my waiting and and and he
will he'll help us when we are just heartbroken. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, And I think also to add on to that,
my waiting for a child was probably not nearly as long,
still hard, but absolutely I remember having this feeling of
like almost a wake up call of am I seeing
or treating God as like a genie in a bottle
(32:25):
right now? Or as like a friend and a father?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Like I was like, am I still gonna believe that
He's good even if I don't get my wish granted?
Speaker 3 (32:35):
The genie in the bottle mindset?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
And that's kind of like a big come to Jesus
literally moment that you need to have with God, Like
how am I viewing you right now? What is my
version of God right now? Because we're all prone to that, Like,
you know, let's just ask God for something, you know,
all throughout scriptures like no can you shall receive, you know,
(32:58):
and all these things that ask you're not gonna door
will be open, and you're like, okay, I'm not good.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I'm asking. That's happening.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
And that's where we have to like shift the perspective
of like we don't even know what we need Slash
one or what God has for us, and we're treating
God as if he's like some geninea bottle and if
we were of the LANMP three times we're going to
get our wish And that's just not relational at all exactly.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
And a point too, like back to talking about what
we're learning, this is kind of a different learning. I
feel like I've noticed too with Nora. With our children, right,
is like we know what we say no to because
we're protecting them. Right, we see this, we zoom out,
we see this picture they don't understand in their capacity.
And then it's like, well, God very much zooms out
(33:46):
and the grand picture, and you know, he fits the
pieces together and we often we often don't see what all.
I mean, He's doing so many things in our lives.
We don't see most of them, but we get to
see some pieces of it. Yeah, it's life.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
And I think it's also being okay with I might
not see the purpose of this this side of heaven,
do you know what I mean? And like being like
being okay with that too. We our church just went
through the story of Abraham and Sarah and like that
girl waited and they were so old and so and
(34:21):
God's like, not only am I going to give you children,
but I'm going to give you You're the Father of all. Yeah,
and Jesus is coming through you and the Savior and
they're like, no way. And you know, it's really cool
to see that throughout that whole entire journey, Abraham and Sarah,
like they are constantly doubting, constantly turning away, constantly questioning God,
(34:42):
constantly pretending to be God and taking into their own hands,
and still God is faithful to his promise, right, And
that is like such a picture of me being like no, no, no,
I'll be God in this one and then you can
be God tomorrow with this thing. And that's just how
(35:02):
patient He is with us, is like, no, girl, you
don't know what you're doing. No, And I'll still keep
coming back to remind you kind of thing exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
I definitely feel like that's a huge thing I learned
through my parents the loss of my parents in fertility
is like, I'm not in control, and so the more
I would ever like, I just got a lot of peace.
Finally after a year. It was a long, several years
course of learning that I'm not in control. So I surrender,
and in that surrender there was so much peace. It
(35:32):
was it hurt. I'm not saying the surrender doesn't hurt sometimes,
but the peace was there because and that's what I
talk about too, that he's the gift. You know, when
we pray, I mean, they're obviously the gift too, is
in the answer sometimes right, but also when prayers aren't
answered in the way we so desperately hope were Like
I prayed healing for my parents. It wasn't answered that way.
(35:56):
But what do I do with that?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Right?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And so what I learned is that he really is,
he becomes and is the gift of prayer. Like we
talked about the intimacy and the strength that we need,
the peace, the hope, like you had mentioned earlier, hope,
he really is the gift.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
And so yeah, I love that he is the gift.
I kind of want to end on that because it's
so good.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
I mean, even just with Easter coming, It's like, even
if you had none of your prayers answered, would Jesus's
death and resurrection still be enough for you?
Speaker 3 (36:32):
And I hope the answer is yes, because like, what
a gift. What a gift, He's already done at all.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah, and anything else is like wonderful on top. Yeah,
bless you. No, Yeah, he's so good. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Okay, Yeah, tell my listeners. I'm obviously gonna link all this,
but tell my listeners the best way to connect with
you and to find your book and follow you in
the future.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Okay. So yeah, I'm on social media under Sincerely by Kara,
and I share you know, devotionals and prayers a good
amount and Bible plans there, Bible reading plans. And the
book is on Amazon. Yeah, so it's called an Untroubled
Heart Calming Anxiety and Finding God's Peace. But it's also
(37:19):
on like it's sold by other retailers as well, what
like Barnes and Noble Target some other ones, And I
linked all those two that you have a preference of
a book retailer on my website, and my website is
karastout dot com. And yeah, you also asked when it's releas.
It releases April twenty ninth.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yeah, coming up, your listeners, coming up soon, just like
in two weeks, two weeks crazy, Yeah, so click that link.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Can you pre order it?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yes, you could pre order it. Thank you for asking,
and I actually have pre order bonuses too, and yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
So amazing.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Well, if you felt encouraged today or seen from this
little conversation, then please click the link and pre order
Kara's devotional and Untroubled Heart and Kara, thank.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
You so much for joining me today.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Good to know you.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, this was wonderful. I was so thankful to.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Be with you all right, listeners, I will talk to
you next week. Bye.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Thanks for listening to Heart and Soul.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
If this episode encouraged you in any way, please leave
a review.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
On Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Talk
to you next week,
You're listening to the Heart and Soul Podcast with Catherine Banco.
I'm on a mission to celebrate breakthrough, empowerment and shameless
living in the lives of women everywhere. Join me and
let's live unashamed together. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back
to Heart and Soul today. I am joined by a wife,
(00:21):
an author, now, an adoptive mom, a believer. Her name
is Kara Stout. I'm so thankful to have you on
the podcast and to get connected with you today. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, okay, so we're gonna talk all about Kara's new
thirty day devotional, but before that, I just kind of
want to.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Get to know you, if that's cool. So if you wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Mind just like sharing with me and my listeners a
little bit more about who you are and what you do.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah, okay, So, yeah, you touched on some of the
things in the intro. So yeah. So I'm a wife, writer,
and mom. We adopted our baby girl. She's now twenty
months old. Yeah, and her name is Nora. Such a
blessing from God. And let's see, we live in Los Angeles, California.
(01:13):
We've been here eight years. We've been married fifteen years
in July, which time is crazy, Yeah, it's crazy. And
then we actually met in Chicago, where I went to
school for counseling. So I was a school counselor actually
in Chicago for several years. And then after I had
(01:35):
a carotted artery dissection, I then actually changed career paths
and studied nutrition and was a health coach for about
seven years. And then my mom was diagnosed with cancer
and then through her cancer journey, that's when I really
started writing about God because I was just seeing his
(01:58):
goodness so much in that season of like trials and
suffering in both my life and my mom's and I
just couldn't help but write. And so that was about
six is years ago. I started writing online on social
media and then her True Worth it's a women's online ministry. Yeah,
they're wonderful, So I was writing for devotionals for them.
(02:19):
And then now I've written my first book. Amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Okay, well, so much to dig into there, Like you
just like told me the story in like five seconds,
So we're going to dig into that. Would you mind
sharing more about your heart problem and what happened there? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So it was a crowded artery dissection, so it's a
tear in your crodit artery. It was in the neck area.
So actually it was one month after we were married,
which was crazy, literally to the day our one month
anniversary of being married. Yeah, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I was in the middle of spin class and it
wasn't that it was working out. I think there were
a few things going on in my life that led
to that, but I think that kind of just caused
it to happen. I think also maybe something was wrong
with the spin bike, but again a doctor couldn't say
exactly what. But anyway, it was during spin class. I
(03:14):
had all the symptoms of a stroke, but I did not,
Praise God, have a stroke. It was it's called a tia,
so it's all symptoms of a stroke. So I had
like numbness and tingling on the left side. I lost
sight in my I think it was my left eye.
Speech I couldn't. Like it was like like the nurse
(03:35):
would ask me what my birth date was and I couldn't.
It was like I knew what it was, but I
couldn't retrieve it and speak it. Wow. Yeah, and it was.
I did write about this in the devotional too that
in that time though in the hospital, I was there
for five days on blood thinners and I didn't have
to have surgery another praise, but they were monitoring just
(03:55):
to see how it was healing. And I was blanketed
so much in God's peace, Like I just felt him
carrying me. I was so weak, and yeah, he just
covered me in his peace. So just during that time
and then again as I touched on in the book,
and then when I did go home, that's when I
(04:15):
did start feeling a little anxious, you know, just processing
everything and then feeling like, oh, was it gonna happen again?
But He met me in that too with his strength
and his peace.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Okay, just digging deeper into that. How long have you
had a relationship with God? Was it like fresh to
you then?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Is that when you.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Got to know him in the beginning? Was it a
tragedy like that that drew you to him?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
What was it?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I love that you asked that question. That's so good.
So I grew up going to church. My mom was
like an incredible example for me. But really, so, okay,
so grew up going to church. And then I would
say when I was like eighteen or nineteen, I started
being becoming more influenced by the world. And then when
I moved to Chicago for graduate school. Chicago's a fun
(05:08):
It's a great city, so fun. But yet at the
same time, I was early twenties and I started going
out a lot drinking, so I was really straying, and
I don't it just didn't feel like it was a
really active relationship with God, not compared to what I've
had over the years. And so my dad, my dad
(05:30):
passed away actually before my mom. So I've lost both
of my parents to cancer. So sorry, Ert, thank you.
So my dad. I was like mid twenties. I lost
my dad cancer, and I really wasn't coping well. I
was drinking even more, going out a lot. Just I
wasn't trying to numit, like I wasn't consciously thinking, oh
I want to, I just was. I was just going
out and drinking. And then I got married, and so
(05:54):
I brought into the marriage a lot of grief that
I hadn't really processed. And so and then, like I said,
we got married, and then I had the credit artery dissection.
So it was like grief of my dad created artery dissection.
And then our marriage. It was hard the first three
years because all of that was going on, right, And
(06:14):
so God moved us out of Chicago to Dallas and
it was.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Such a friend Oh you are yeah, yay.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I didn't realize that that's where my mom lived. So
it was such a blessing. We moved for Michael's work.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
But really his name is Michael.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That is so funny. Where's Michael from? You're Michael.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
We're both from Dallas.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, we're both Okay. I love Dallas. I still I
have family there, my aunts there and cousins and wonderful place.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Yeah, it's great. It's big, it's spread out.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It is big, it's big. So yeah, so we moved
to Dallas, and really that's when God started his work
and me, he's the God drew me back to him.
I mean, he's the one that did all of that,
and he started doing work in my heart and Michael's heart,
and and that's really when my faith was changing in
the way of where it's at now, just like a
(07:06):
more personal relationship with him, depending on him. And then
definitely also then when I walked through cancer, my mom's cancer,
I mean, just all of that combined is what really
made God so real to me because there was just
no way that I could be walking through all of
that without him, without his strength and his peace. And
(07:28):
there was a lot of joy too, which is like
doesn't make sense, but he gave me a lot of joy.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So I think that there's like you get to fork
in the road when you experience something as painful as grief,
like losing your parents or your health problem, and you know,
you can choose one of two ways, and I think
a lot of I think a lot of people fall
into either angry at God, hut him out, or desperate
(07:56):
for God, need his comfort and hope, and you can
have a little bit of you know, like a roller
coaster where you're kind of going from one to the other.
And I've definitely experienced both during different seasons of grief,
but I often have like I always just come back
to the comfort and hope aspect, mainly mainly the hope
(08:17):
of like, if this is it, then what's the you know,
what's the point?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
There's got to be something bigger.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
And I think we've lost a few pregnancies in the
last five years, and we would always say to each
other is like, how could we do this without God?
How do people go through that type of loss or
that grief without someone in control to cling to? So
(08:51):
I find it very inspiring to hear from you that
amidst the grief.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
You didn't go away, You went tour God.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
And I know that's what a lot of your devotional
is about, which I definitely want to touch on. But
if you wouldn't mind sharing like how God met you
in that time of grief, and then also how you felt, like.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
How do I word this? How you felt how.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You felt like you connected with Him on an intimate
level rather than just like reading the word or but
more so like you and him, like how did he
meet you personally?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
And that grief?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Those are great?
Speaker 3 (09:35):
And would you mind pulling the mic a little closer
towards you?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yes? Sorry, please remind me that's better?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Is this better?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Or ye?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
When you hold it like as close to your mouth
as possible.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Okay, like this perfect? Okay, thank you for telling me. Okay,
So the first question you had said, through the grief,
what was what? Because I remember the second part of
the question, but what was the first part?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Again, Well, I'm trying to remember the first now too.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
The second part let's just go with the second first, like, Okay,
how did you intimately connect?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
How did he personally meet you in those sees?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And I love that because yeah, in the devotion I
do touch on just you know, how we can go
from like a knowing a knowledge of God to then
a personal experience with him. And I really feel like that.
I mean both are necessary, right, Like the word we
learn his character and then experience is we experience his character,
and I think both are just so important and powerful
(10:32):
and you know so for meuh, while you were asking
the question, I was just remembering this particular experience. So
I'll just go with that, okay. So okay, so my
so before my mom was diagnosed, I got a text
message from my aunt that my mom was in the
hospital and she told me a little bit of the
(10:53):
symptoms and I felt strongly God tell me don't google it.
And I say that because I tend to even now
like I'm better, but like I'll go, you know, down
this google rabbit hole sometimes yeah. Yeah, but I felt
so strongly the Holy Spirit like don't google it, and
I was like okay, and I just felt him also
in that moment, I might tear up because like it's okay.
(11:19):
Like he basically he made it clear that it was
cancer before any diagnosis. Yeah, so he just made it
clear in my spirit like that it was. And so
like I I for hours, I was just weeping and praying,
(11:39):
and I have worship music on, and I was just
praying and praying, yeah, for hours. And then the next
day I flew out to Dallas because that's where we
were living here and we had just moved here a year.
And then she was diagnosed, and so I was back
and forth the whole year. That really turned out to
be a blessing though, because I was staying at her
house for weeks and it was just God expanded time,
(12:02):
like it felt like years with her. But anyway, so
I woke up that next morning with so much peace.
It was crazy how much peace I had after that night,
and so much joy. It felt like I had so
much joy I couldn't contain it. And I just felt
it was like the joy from heaven. It's just that's
the only way I can explain. Like, And so I
(12:23):
had this, Oh, I have let me get a kleenex.
I had it right behind me just in case. Yeah. So,
so I was on the airplane again listening to worship
music and then and then I just know like he
was doing that for my heart, but then also preparing
me to take care of my mom with this same
joy and peace, so she didn't worry about me. I mean,
(12:46):
she's my mom, right, so we were super close, like
and so anyway, so I walked in the hospital and
even later she said, you walked in with the smile
and so much joy. And then when they told me there,
because they didn't tell me in the time message that
they had found a mass and when they told me
at the hospital, I already knew. And so it was
(13:06):
just incredible that I didn't just fall apart there in front,
like I mean I could have, right, but God just
God just wanted this whole experience, I think as a
way to show us all like this joy and peace
that is awaiting that was awaiting my mom. And yeah,
he just gave me this perspective on eternity and in
(13:27):
that moment. And so that was a deeply personal experience
for me with God. And during during there, it wasn't
grief just yet, but it was hard for me processing Okay,
I lost my dad. Here's now I potentially because you
know what, sometimes there is healing, you know, in cancer
(13:47):
and so but like that wasn't the case for for us,
and so I just I mean in his sovereignty, I trust,
I trust his sovereignty and his plan. But but yeah,
in that time I just really leaned on him heavily
and felt him carrying me. And so again that was
the personal aspect. I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
People who like don't have a personal relationship with God
would probably hear something like that and be like, what.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Like that doesn't make any sense. And I think that's
the point.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Is it's this like supernatural piece that you know, surpasses
all understanding, and it's really cool that He provides for
you and provided for you in that moment exactly what
you needed and what your mom needed as well as
the staff needed to see. I mean, we don't know
the impact that little actions we take can make on
(14:44):
the kingdom, and so to see, like you don't know
the impact of you walking in with like a peaceful
joy amidst this tragedy and to be a light in
that hospital. What that has how that has impacted possibly
one of the staff there to this day, their children,
or their family members or whoever. And that's the beauty
(15:06):
of the Kingdom I guess is that we all get
to play a part in it, but we don't necessarily
know the part.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
We don't necessarily know all the results of our part.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Yes, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
And to see how God knew in that moment, even
with your dad as well, that you would use your
grief to share the word and to write this devotional
and to get on podcasts and to publish on social media.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
And he knew that that impact that that would have.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And that doesn't necessarily mean that it's that means you
can just not grieve, you know, like there's so much
importance to experience emotions. Jesus did I mean, we're in
the middle of Holy Week and you know he entered
into Rome, the Roman Empire on a donkey crying. I mean,
there were tears in it eyes and he was he
(16:02):
was so stressed, like he's like you had mentioned that
he was, you know, sweating blood.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
And those are real.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Feelings and we're allowed to experience those and still have peace.
And it's like this weird paradox of how two things
can be true at the same time.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yes, I want to say I love that you're saying that,
because that is a huge piece of what I am
writing in the devotional is that we experience emotions as humans,
you know, we experience these and to be vulnerable to
God and honest with him and go to him, like
go to him. That's really how it was for me
and grief is I could continually went to him and
(16:39):
I was honest with him, and like, while I had
that piece and joy, you know, then there were definitely
times where it was like, very painful. I miss my mom.
I want to talk to my mom now I'm a mother.
My mom never got to meet my daughter. Like that's
so painful. Yeah, And I'm honest with God about that.
I'm like, God, I trust, I trust your plan and
(16:59):
I've piece when I do. But I'm also like, I
wish it could have been a different way, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
And I think that's the tricky part about some of
the words that are used, like we say or you say,
I had joy, and I think someone who maybe doesn't
know the joy of the Lord would think, like, oh,
she was just like giggling and happy and like jumping,
and like that's what you think when you see or
hear the word joy but true, it's a different kind
(17:28):
of joy, the joy of the Lord.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
It's it's abundance.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Even though even still, and I think a lot of
it has to do with the Kingdom mindset of like
this isn't our home and so we can still have
an eternal.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Vantage point on a on a very tough situation.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
So tell my listeners a little bit more dig into
this book when you started writing it, how it came
to be, like I'm going to publish this, and what
they can expect if they were to order it and
read it.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, so it is interesting. So we okay, so we
walked through infertility for seven years and then we started
the adoption process three years, so ten years total we
prayed and waited for our girl. And and what I
say that is it's interesting that I basically signed my
(18:23):
book contract when we adopted her. So here I was, yes,
writing my first book, trying to learn, you know, how
to do all of that, and then also learning to
be a mom, like you know, And so I was
writing while just completely being dependent on the Lord. And
(18:46):
so again there there are messages in the book also
again of total reliance on him, just in a different way.
Like you know, I shared different experiences, like we talked
about the Corona artery dissection, my health, grief and then
waiting and longing for children and just all of those
(19:08):
pieces of because the book is called an Untroubled Heart,
and it's really to discuss different ways that our hearts
can feel troubled in this world and that we you know,
just take Jesus at his words when he says he
gives us his peace and let not your hearts be
troubled in John fourteen. And because he gives us his piece,
(19:32):
and also he goes to prepare a place for us,
that's that's the other part of that, because it says
it twice in John fourteen. And so, like you had said,
that eternal mindset, Kingdom mindset really helps shift our perspective
through these trials, through our suffering and burdens and cares
(19:55):
and our anxieties. And I say, don't you know, I
encourage the readers to not suppress their emotions or bypass them,
but to acknowledge like this is hard. I'm having this worry,
or I'm suffering, or i have this despair. God help me.
And so I'm really trying to encourage each reader to
remember that God loves them and he's there and he
(20:18):
hears our prayers. It's through scripture that he hears when
we cry out to him, and so to go to
him quickly and try not to do it on your own.
And so I feel like that's a big heart behind
the book.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Right, And just to add on to that, forget the
polish when you go to him, not you personally, but
the listeners, Like, don't feel like you have to show
up polish because he already knows where your heart is
(20:52):
and what you're thinking. And you know, if it's just
like showing up to like a coffee date with a
friend and not telling them the whole story and then
expect them to like meet you where you need to
be met, it's it's missing the mark. So if you are,
you know, meeting with the Father who already knows you
intimately and knows what you're thinking, for you to like
polish it up in some like I don't know, fake
(21:15):
prayer or niceties or whatever, it doesn't it doesn't. Actually
it actually hinders the healing process because it's just a
part of grief is the wrestle.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
You know, there's the wrestling with God. Is part of it.
That's where we get to know him a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
And if you've ever had like an argument with a
friend or an argument with the spouse, like, it's actually
that tension that draws you all closer together. So I
only say that because when we've lost we've lost four babies,
and every time I was pissed.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
You know, And that's okay. Like, he doesn't expect me
to be like, oh, but your will be done and
be so polished in that moment.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Of course, I like, in my heart of hearts, want
to believe you know, your will be done, And but
in the moment, I'm angry, And that's okay to show
up angry. And that's just a part of the right
humanity process, yeah right. Knowing that with that though, we
also have been empowered by the Holy Spirit, and so
we can draw near to that type of supernatural peace
(22:26):
at the same time.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
But it's okay to wrestle through.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
It, yeah, absolutely, because yeah, again we're human, yeah, you know.
And and also, oh, there's something else I was thinking
about when you had talked about Jesus weeping, how that
shortest first Jesus wept during like with Lazarus, yeah, you know,
he took the time to weep even though he was
about to raise the ram from the dead, and so
(22:50):
that tells us, you know, that he sits with us
in our emotions, I believe, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Or even in that story. I did think I read
this in a devotional somewhere years ago. But it's up
with me, and maybe I'm like totally wrong. And if
I am, what call me out? But where one of
the sisters I believe it was Martha I can't remember
now anyways, runs out to Jesus and it's like, if
you had gotten here sooner.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
He wouldn't have died, He wouldn't have died.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
No, he doesn't say, like, I'm sorry she did. Yeah, yeah,
I can't remember which sister was it.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I think it was Martha because then I think Mary
like came out later and cried yeah or some yeah,
Martha did say that.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, And I think Mary came out and I think
she wept, And maybe I'm thinking of a different part
in the story. But all that to say is Jesus
welcomed both of those welcome.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Means to him, the one where she ran.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
At him and almost shifted blame if you had come sooner,
he'd still be here, and he didn't. He didn't like
challenge that necessarily. And then he also welcomed the tears.
And I read that once in a devotional as I
was grieving something, and I thought, oh my gosh, I'm
such a Martha right now.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And that's okay, you know, it's okay, Na, yes, because
you're honest with him.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, why don't you share the process
of writing an actual book is in that rabi ever?
Speaker 3 (24:18):
And then like just how long that process takes?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
And and then how I already know the release date,
but then share like the upcoming release date so that
people can like jump on jump into it with you.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Okay. So yeah, so it was well. I worked on
the book proposal for several months and originally, actually I
don't think I mentioned this before. So yeah, it's a
thirty day morning and evening devotional, and so originally I
was thinking it would just be like a nighttime devotional.
But then as I talked to like through the publisher
(24:52):
with it, we really wanted to do like a book
and morning and evening, and I really wanted to stay
with the evening because I do feel like we don't
often take time to go to God in the evening,
especially with devotionals, you know. So I just love that.
And I have prayers also morning and evening, so there's
sixty prayers total as well. And so anyway, so I
(25:17):
started in that direction and then like I said, then
we did the morning and evening, so there's sixty total entries.
And so I would say, yeah, I was writing it well,
like when I signed the contract, it was about a year,
but I mean I did start having pieces of it
coming to my mind before that. But yeah, the writing
process was about a year, and I again was just
(25:42):
completely dependent on God and I just like every time
I would sit down to wray, just God, what do
you want me to say? What do you want me
to write? I really need your help, you know, And
He would always meet me. And there were times where
it would flow, you know, the words flow, and there
are times where I would wrestle with the words, but
he would bring me to the completion. And so you know,
(26:04):
he's so faithful in that what he calls us to do,
that he will help us see it through. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
and to.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Do that all while becoming a new mom, I know,
which is the hardest thing I've ever done, motherhood.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So it's so to do that, to like do that.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And then also, you know, Steward this calling of writing
this book in a year. Yeah, that's that's really cool
that you did that. All that the same for you.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
So you have how old is your I have two
children now.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I have a three and a half year old boy,
and then I have an almost ten month old girl.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Okay, yeah, oh wow, that's great.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yeah, yeah, it is, and it's a lot, but it
is obviously you know, you know, you've waited, you've prayed
for it.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
It's like everything you could ever dream of.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
But it's also very hard, and especially that first year
and to do to take on that type of project
while also taking on the project of just like keeping
this new little human alive and weep like this all
of it is crazy. And then also I don't know
if this is the same for you, but motherhood has
(27:22):
brought me a new perspective on how God sees us
as his children. Yes, yeah, like we I had a
women's treat. I went to a women's retreat this last
weekend with my church, and like I go to I've
been to a million women's retreats at this point in
my life. Yeah, and then but this is the first
one I've been to since becoming a parent, and like
(27:44):
overnight women's retreat where it's like no kids, you know,
and I'm just like missing my baby and I'm like
almost feeling like an actual physical piece of me is
like missing. It felt like really weird, like an identity shift,
and the a level of weepiness I had, not just
about missing my kids, I mean about like the messages,
(28:05):
like because I was I was connecting with the Father
as a mother now and like reading the words, hearing
the words differently. I mean even just like we're at
church every Sunday, but something about the worship felt it different,
Like everything felt very just like sensitive in a good
way of like if I love I mean I was
(28:28):
away from my kids for one night, if I miss
them and yearned for them so much in one night,
like how much more does our Father and Heaven like
yearn for our love and attention and.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Time. So it was a wake up call.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
So anyways, all to say, imagine writing a book and
that level of desperation and then also learning all these
new things about how God sees you as his child.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Yes, and then putting that on paper is that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah. Yeah, but I love that and I do touch
a little bit on that. Yeah, what you said, I
love what you shared is so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
So what would you say to a woman, because let's
be real, only women listen to this, A woman listening
to this podcast, who is.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
In a season of waiting right now?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Like a quick piece of encouragement that you heard or
wish you would have heard when you were in a
season of waiting.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Okay, let me think that's a great question. Well, okay,
this is so I would say because I'm thinking of
what really can I maybe say like what I felt
like I learned in it? Lace Yeah, so for me personally,
and I want to say that this wasn't immediate. This
(29:49):
was again a ten year process, and there was a
point where I really didn't know if I would ever
be a mother, you know, after after years and years,
and you know, I just I remember asking like saying, God,
I really don't know if I'll ever be a mother.
I mean I had the longing, but I just didn't know.
And so he really brought me to a point where
(30:12):
I knew he was good even if I never was
a mother and that he even if I never became
a mother, and and that in the waiting though, what
he shifted my perspective of that he was my joy.
There's a joy word again and a joy no matter
(30:34):
what I mean. And and I only say that because
he brought me to that point. That wasn't just like
a let me just It wasn't forced. And that's what
I want to say, Christian, and I talk about this
in the book too, Christian joy is not forced, It's
not fake, you know. It's this joy like we talked about,
that's based on heaven and and eternity, and that really
(30:56):
that that meets us in the middle of our waiting
and our suffering because he is our joy. I feel
like that's really what I learned that and just pressed
into that, like God, this is painful. I don't know
if you're gonna answer this, but I trust you and
You're my joy no matter what. But that that was
just through the years, because there were I mean, mother's
(31:18):
days were really hard at times, you know, and I
had this pain and I and you know, I saw friends,
you know, having children and multiple children, and I was like, whoa,
you know, because I old, was I well, let's see,
I was like, I think forty one when we adopted her,
(31:39):
So you know, I really really was like I don't know,
you know, but so I don't know. I don't know
if I answered your question, but I just feel like
that's what I learned a lot, is that like God,
you're my joy in my waiting and and and he
will he'll help us when we are just heartbroken. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, And I think also to add on to that,
my waiting for a child was probably not nearly as long,
still hard, but absolutely I remember having this feeling of
like almost a wake up call of am I seeing
or treating God as like a genie in a bottle
(32:25):
right now? Or as like a friend and a father?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Like I was like, am I still gonna believe that
He's good even if I don't get my wish granted?
Speaker 3 (32:35):
The genie in the bottle mindset?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
And that's kind of like a big come to Jesus
literally moment that you need to have with God, Like
how am I viewing you right now? What is my
version of God right now? Because we're all prone to that, Like,
you know, let's just ask God for something, you know,
all throughout scriptures like no can you shall receive, you know,
(32:58):
and all these things that ask you're not gonna door
will be open, and you're like, okay, I'm not good.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I'm asking. That's happening.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
And that's where we have to like shift the perspective
of like we don't even know what we need Slash
one or what God has for us, and we're treating
God as if he's like some geninea bottle and if
we were of the LANMP three times we're going to
get our wish And that's just not relational at all exactly.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
And a point too, like back to talking about what
we're learning, this is kind of a different learning. I
feel like I've noticed too with Nora. With our children, right,
is like we know what we say no to because
we're protecting them. Right, we see this, we zoom out,
we see this picture they don't understand in their capacity.
And then it's like, well, God very much zooms out
(33:46):
and the grand picture, and you know, he fits the
pieces together and we often we often don't see what all.
I mean, He's doing so many things in our lives.
We don't see most of them, but we get to
see some pieces of it. Yeah, it's life.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
And I think it's also being okay with I might
not see the purpose of this this side of heaven,
do you know what I mean? And like being like
being okay with that too. We our church just went
through the story of Abraham and Sarah and like that
girl waited and they were so old and so and
(34:21):
God's like, not only am I going to give you children,
but I'm going to give you You're the Father of all. Yeah,
and Jesus is coming through you and the Savior and
they're like, no way. And you know, it's really cool
to see that throughout that whole entire journey, Abraham and Sarah,
like they are constantly doubting, constantly turning away, constantly questioning God,
(34:42):
constantly pretending to be God and taking into their own hands,
and still God is faithful to his promise, right, And
that is like such a picture of me being like no, no, no,
I'll be God in this one and then you can
be God tomorrow with this thing. And that's just how
(35:02):
patient He is with us, is like, no, girl, you
don't know what you're doing. No, And I'll still keep
coming back to remind you kind of thing exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
I definitely feel like that's a huge thing I learned
through my parents the loss of my parents in fertility
is like, I'm not in control, and so the more
I would ever like, I just got a lot of peace.
Finally after a year. It was a long, several years
course of learning that I'm not in control. So I surrender,
and in that surrender there was so much peace. It
(35:32):
was it hurt. I'm not saying the surrender doesn't hurt sometimes,
but the peace was there because and that's what I
talk about too, that he's the gift. You know, when
we pray, I mean, they're obviously the gift too, is
in the answer sometimes right, but also when prayers aren't
answered in the way we so desperately hope were Like
I prayed healing for my parents. It wasn't answered that way.
(35:56):
But what do I do with that?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Right?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And so what I learned is that he really is,
he becomes and is the gift of prayer. Like we
talked about the intimacy and the strength that we need,
the peace, the hope, like you had mentioned earlier, hope,
he really is the gift.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
And so yeah, I love that he is the gift.
I kind of want to end on that because it's
so good.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
I mean, even just with Easter coming, It's like, even
if you had none of your prayers answered, would Jesus's
death and resurrection still be enough for you?
Speaker 3 (36:32):
And I hope the answer is yes, because like, what
a gift. What a gift, He's already done at all.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah, and anything else is like wonderful on top. Yeah,
bless you. No, Yeah, he's so good. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Okay, Yeah, tell my listeners. I'm obviously gonna link all this,
but tell my listeners the best way to connect with
you and to find your book and follow you in
the future.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Okay. So yeah, I'm on social media under Sincerely by Kara,
and I share you know, devotionals and prayers a good
amount and Bible plans there, Bible reading plans. And the
book is on Amazon. Yeah, so it's called an Untroubled
Heart Calming Anxiety and Finding God's Peace. But it's also
(37:19):
on like it's sold by other retailers as well, what
like Barnes and Noble Target some other ones, And I
linked all those two that you have a preference of
a book retailer on my website, and my website is
karastout dot com. And yeah, you also asked when it's releas.
It releases April twenty ninth.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yeah, coming up, your listeners, coming up soon, just like
in two weeks, two weeks crazy, Yeah, so click that link.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Can you pre order it?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yes, you could pre order it. Thank you for asking,
and I actually have pre order bonuses too, and yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
So amazing.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Well, if you felt encouraged today or seen from this
little conversation, then please click the link and pre order
Kara's devotional and Untroubled Heart and Kara, thank.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
You so much for joining me today.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Good to know you.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, this was wonderful. I was so thankful to.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Be with you all right, listeners, I will talk to
you next week. Bye.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Thanks for listening to Heart and Soul.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
If this episode encouraged you in any way, please leave
a review.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
On Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Talk
to you next week,
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