June 18, 2025 • 36 mins
Eileen Noyes is a dynamic author, speaker, coach, host of The Unsidelined Life Podcast, and the founder of Lady Bellator - a movement dedicated to empowering women to overcome challenges and embrace their God-given purpose. Drawing from her powerful journey as an NFL wife and mother to a blended family of 15 children, Eileen offers authentic insights on resilience, faith, and navigating life’s adversities.
Today, she shares pieces of her story; including being a mom of 8 children, leaving a marriage and husband who was immersed in a cult, and how she has used her struggles to encourage women to know their worth and identity in Jesus!
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Follow Eileen on Instagram: @eileenpnoyes
Follow her podcast HERE!
Check out her website HERE!
Subscribe to our new YouTube Channel and WATCH all episodes!
Today, she shares pieces of her story; including being a mom of 8 children, leaving a marriage and husband who was immersed in a cult, and how she has used her struggles to encourage women to know their worth and identity in Jesus!
Follow me on Instagram:
Kathryn @kathryn_benko
Heart + Sole @heartandsolepodcast
Sole Fitness @sole_fitness
Follow Eileen on Instagram: @eileenpnoyes
Follow her podcast HERE!
Check out her website HERE!
Subscribe to our new YouTube Channel and WATCH all episodes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Heart and Soul Podcast with Catherine Banko.
I'm on a mission to celebrate breakthrough, empowerment and shameless
living in the lives of women everywhere. Join me and
let's live unashamed together. What's going on everybody? Welcome back
to the Heart and Soul Podcast today. I am joined
by Eileen Ney, who is an author, speaker, coach, and
(00:23):
the host of a podcast as well called The on
Sidelined Life. She's also the founder of Lady Bellatour, which
is a movement dedicated to empowering women, which we do
over here as well to overcome challenges and embrace their
God given purpose. So, Eileen, thank you so much for
joining me and welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Thank you for having me. We've been trying to do
this for a long time because that's how long life goes.
But we're here, so thank you againing me.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We have been. We have done a couple of reschedules,
my daughter got sick, and then this morning we just
like got the times wrong because our minds are everywhere.
But why don't you start by telling my listeners little
bit more about who you are and what you do,
and then we'll just dive into combo from there.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay, well, I am remarried for four years, so I
have a combined amount of kids fifteen totals. So I
have eight ranging from seven to twenty two, and his
are thirteen to about thirty. So I'm and I'm saying
that first just because all my kids for the most part,
(01:26):
are home, no school, so anything goes in this thirty
minutes of podcast, it's like they could be yelling they
can come through. Anything goes. So yeah, so I have Yeah,
I've been married for four years. I'm remarried. Because you
talk about faith, I had a very upspoken Christian husband
who played in the NFL for six sorry for nine years.
(01:47):
We were married for sixteen years and gosh about seven
years after he got done playing. Unfortunately, he ended up
joining a cult. So our Christian faith, everything that we
knew shifted to look at me. It was okay, women
aren't creating the image of God. The kids and I
were property, So it was a complete one from everything
(02:11):
that I knew. And I had an advocate through that.
I mean, crazy stories and all that, but you know,
long story short, God has been so faithful to get
me through, Like I just knew that. I was like,
this is this is an opportunity for me one to
anchor in him because identity I mean just being told
(02:31):
that you're not creating the image of God. I mean
that totally is for me for a loop, which that
was never ever an issue before. But when confusion and
spiritual warfare like come into play, so much goes on.
But I had to anchor my identity in Christ. And
I just saw that God was saying, I mean, I'm
going to use you one to set the tone for
your family. The devil is going to attack, and he's
(02:52):
going to attack the father's, it's going to attack husbands.
He gave me the opportunity to continue to mother, you know, kids,
to choose forgiveness, to choose joy, to choose his ways,
and to help them navigate through all. Listen. So that's
what's been going on. My heart is for the NFL
wives about their wives, because my story is not isolated.
(03:14):
There are four women whose husbands or ex husbands have
joined this particular board. There's women who are going through
seven eight years ago, and there's women who are going
through it now. So there's just the dynamics of that
world that it's just a lot of things that go on,
and so my heart is for women not only in
those exchange, but just that culture, address the pressure, the
(03:37):
things that are behind the scenes that no one understands.
My heart is for them. And then as a whole,
just you know, I love hearing you and what you're
wanting to do. I mean, we need each other and
we need to encourage each other and we need to
be real because again, like when I think about the
NFL world, there's this facade that you have it all together,
(03:57):
and when you when you see that, and if that's
in your face all the time, how can you not
feel lesson? How can you not feel like no one
understands me? Where do I turn? And then your voice
is lost in the shuffle because you don't think you
have anything offer. So in so many likays, that's what
happened with me, and God really anchored me through that
to where yeah, I mean counter, I'll drive me fonto
(04:21):
various trials like he did that, and I'm taking opportunity
because one is just I mean, he's done so much
in my life and just to say double, you're not
gonna win this one. So that's a nutshell version of.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I feel like I could ask so many follow up questions.
I want to make sure I'm like careful though with
how I address things, because I'm sure a lot of
it's like hyper sensitive and you have eight children, and
I don't want to like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I'm honestly it's yeah, I'll go for it. Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
So my first question is, at what point in your
relationship with your ex did you, like starts see signs
that he was like maybe leaving your faith, the faith
that y'all had been angered in and entering this cult.
And is this cult specific to the NFL, like you
said that a lot of the NFL wives.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
No, I mean there, I hate to say it, but
my ex ended up being like kind of a spokesmore
person for this cult, and so he was the one
that kind of recruited though. To answer your first question,
you know, we have we have seven boys and one girl,
so she was number seven, and so he always wanted boys.
You know, he would talk about the twelve Tribes of Israel.
(05:33):
I saw that there was in his personality. It's just
very you know, very intense, and it was the opposite
of trash kind of thing. And when we had our girl,
long story short in a nutshell, the things that were
underneath the surface, which really was rooted into his relationship
with his own mom. Twin sister didn't get along with
and so there was this thing of a fear of
women that he actually acknowledged. But when it finally came out,
(05:58):
we were going through issues and finally was out and
I said this, we could work with this, like we can,
we can work to bring healing. And one thing that
he said, which you know spiritually, when you make the house,
it's not good, and he's like, I will never put
myself in that situation again. And so that that just
contributed to my voice being smaller and smaller like that,
(06:20):
like I said, like that complimentary you know, relationship, it
was only about how it was just all about the
respect of men. And I mean, if women were creating
image of God and our and our basically all that
we bring to the tables, having kids and cooking and cleaning,
then her voice is really to be shut up. And
(06:41):
that was that was what was happening. And so that was,
like I said, that was two thousand and fourteen, Yeah,
and it was just very subtle two years, two to
three years of just just just normal trials and marriage.
She had to go back to school because he was
changing careers, and so I just thought that's what it was.
(07:01):
I thought, were to get through this, you know, this
is just a season. And he just after he started
studying that CFP, the Certified Financial Planning, he just really
got into just this. I will say it's black hebra
is your life's influenced. So it's you know, the like
basically black people are the chosen people. If you are
(07:22):
not black, you can't go to heaven unless there's some
sort of I don't know, like for a woman if
she's o began to her husband, you know, so it's
contingent on that she can go to heaven that way,
you know, there needs to be some sort of covering.
So it's just, you know, it's it's sadly a very
twisted thing on on what the Bible says. It goes
(07:44):
a lot back to the Old Testament and the law
and you know, keeping the Sabbath and making sure you
don't eat pork, all those things. It's very rule oriented.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So is crazy. Did you so you said you have
seven boys and one girl, right? Did you always want
a big family or was that something that like he
was kind of learning like women just pro create kind
of thing, like obviously you're grateful for your children now,
but is that what he always wanted?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I always said about four or five. That's just because
I'm I have five, you know, our four brothers. He
was the same thing. So it was like, you know,
he had like seven, I think seven siblings. And that
was at a time where we went to a Christian
conference and the speaker try to talk. He started to
talking about leaving a legacy, and I just remember going ooh,
(08:35):
like God, I want that, like I want to those
those acorns that turn into strong oaks. I just remember saying,
I'll have as many babysits you have as you want
me to have. Just get me back to so this
whole fitness thing in my vanity, I was like, just
get me back to my pre baby wait. And literally
I believe it. He's like he's humorous because I would
reached that my ideal lumber and then boom, I got
(08:58):
pregnant every single time. So I'm like, Lord, you're funny.
So yeah, that's that's that's that. I didn't start that way,
but I mean, gosh, I wouldn't have any other way,
as crazy as it can get and super stressful as
it can get sometimes, especially now, when you see the
different fruit of relationships as they get older, the conversations change,
(09:21):
and so yeah, it's such a blessing. And then to
see how they treat each other, to see you know,
it's not always the vickering. It's it's it's the love
that I see it. I yeah, I wouldn't have it
any other way. I love it.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
What would you say? We're the hardest ages to parents
so far?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
For me, it's always the potty training. It's the pull
up stages because you know, yeah, you know what you
when they were in diapers poop all day long. We
wouldn't get to me. But I'm like, you know how
to poop in the toilet, but you prop or like
that for sure. And I was just thinking about this.
(09:58):
There's always a season with every one, like and some
are harder than others, but there's that season of the
hormone to change where I just feel like there's been
like bucking heads and thank god that you know, I
like one, two, three, about three or four where it's
like those conversations or just this there's like probably one
(10:19):
or two major big arguments for us.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
That I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna go through
this eight times is not easy, but I you know,
you get sorry, that's them playing video games, Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
That the relationships I I mean, I I can honestly
say that that I have good relationships with each one.
I don't think there's like nothing, you know, like there's
there's the ability to push through and talk and resolve
conflict no matter how hard it's gotten. And so so
those are definitely the hard phases where it's a totally
(10:54):
emotionally consuming, you know thing, and praying for them is
it can get intense. But I think I've learned from
the first three how to navigate those hard conversations in
a better way. But again, the food love those is
just yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Okay, So what I did. I'm just curious because I'm
a new mom and I have a mom questions. What
is what was the hardest transition? Like people say, you know,
from like two to three kids, it was like so hard.
Obviously you have gone to eight, so clearly like've been
through a lot of transitions, but which one was the
hardest for you?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Hands on? Physically speaking? I think the three and that
was a time where they would feed off each other
and they would cry because the other one would cry.
And so I remember telling the third all the time
when he was a baby, and this is part of
like what I've learned. You know, their subconscious minds right
(11:53):
fully developed. And so I would say, sorry, you're just
gonna have to defend yourself because your siblings are crying.
And what he learned do is he's learned to step
on his two fingers and just soothe self sooth. And
so when I had like learned about the subconscious mind
and how basically I was kind of creating this message
you're going to have to take care of yourself, I
(12:14):
had to go back when I learned through this program
called Life Spiels International, where you learn about subconscious mind,
I had to go back and say, hey, two to
three years old, I remember talking to him and going,
you know, moms here like I'm sorry for saying that,
even though I knew he couldn't consciously understand. I was
talking to subconscious to say, I am we're protecting you.
(12:38):
You're okay, like we're going to take care of you,
and I'm telling you that I just saw this countenance lifted.
So I forgot your question already, but that was that's
you know, that was like part of that parenting of
getting through and just yeah, okay, you're talking about like
the transition of numbers, there's also the transition that you know,
(13:01):
I mean, I have always It's just it's not the
necessarily the numbers thing, but just because there's so many
different you know, it's not you can't like you can't
like just take all of them like little chickling or
you know, duck platings with you like at some point
you got one playing soccer, you know, going to dance,
one going to football. So when they get older, it's
(13:22):
for sure harder in a different way.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, I've already seen that being difficult going from like
one to two, which is like probably like child play view.
But for me, I remember my chap, my firstborn William.
He really struggled the first six months of my daughter's
life because everything was new, like he's he was so
used to being the only child, and so there was
(13:47):
a lot of like me having to comfort my daughter
and him feeling kind of abandoned, and you kind of
see the shift in him. It's like you don't want
him to feel that way, but you know, physically your
baby actually like needs to feed up from you and
be held by you. And and so the first six
months of Coco's my daughter of Coco's life, William was
(14:12):
just very He tried to test me on that, like
testing me see like what would it take for him
to get more attention. And I could kind of see
that coming. And in the midst of that, we were
potty training him, he was going to preschool. It was
just like all these transitions and I still He'll hear
(14:33):
people say, like, you know, two to three is way harder,
and I'm sure it would be. And if God gives
me another baby, that'd be amazing. But that was really
difficult for me of like you have this one baby
who has like all your attention and then all of
a sudden, they're not the baby anymore. It's like you
kind of need them to step up into being more independent,
(14:55):
but they're so dependent on you still. So it's that
was like really hard. It kind of left me feeling
like guilty some days. And I'm just like I wish
I had four hands, you know, to and.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, for sure, I think I think, you know, because
ours were the first three. That was eighteen months in between,
so they didn't they didn't have much time to just
think that they're on their own. But you said there
was like what three years. Yeah, so for sure. I mean,
if his world is just to have you to himself,
(15:28):
oh my gosh, I can I'm sure it was a
soft system in every way. So and then yeah, thet
when you're when you're transitioning, it's not like he's getting
that lovey dovey that he was getting before, because it's
the discipline is coming in and all those things.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
And he was, he was and is the worst at potting.
I mean, they'd say boys are hard, harder than to
pie train, and I've only had one, but he was
so hard and he's still in it. Like, oh my gosh,
it's so hard to hate. But I want to go
back to the call.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
By the way, the potty training thing, different technique for
each and every one of them.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Yeah, I'm sure they're all recent Yeah, yes, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
My last question like circling back to the cult of
it all and like how your ex husband kind of
viewed women as more so like tools to procreate and
didn't have an identity has it been some Has that
been something that's affected your sons and how they see
women or you was like you separating from your husband
(16:32):
kind of like I can't let this happen to them,
so we have to like separate our lives. I don't
know it's that question makes sense. But have your sons
been affected by the by how they view women as well?
Or is that something you've been in.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I'm sure, I'm sure they I'm sure they have. So,
you know, it took a lot of me seeking Holy
Spirit on like how do I talk to this one?
So my oldest was fifteen at the time, so it's fifteen,
thirteen eleven. I'm you know, don't line. I I never
wanted to bash. It was like, God, help me to
(17:07):
navigate through this so that one they don't be bitter
towards you, so that they aren't better towards me, and
they're not bitter toward their father. So I had to
do it in a way that honored all of us
and thank God. So it's I have to say this
that when my my my ex he like I said,
he was a very strong Christian man and he would
always try to coach us in rally and he'd say, guys,
(17:30):
He's like, you know, we need a rendezvous around you
this if you want to be in heaven together, you know,
we need we need to stay close to Jesus. And
he would say this, which is I don't I don't know,
in a sense, it's weirdly prophetic. He'd saying, even if
I fall away, you stay close to God, he goes
follow Jesus. And so in a in a way, I
still hang on that, like we honored you to the
(17:51):
end that we are following Jesus even and you you know,
fell away, so you know the heat, thank God, and
I know that He's going to continue to do this
that they see through the word, you know what God
says that whole image of God thing that was super
hard and even for me knowing that that was completely absurd,
(18:15):
but then of course just getting confused after a time
of like God, do you even hear me? He told
me how women had to wear headcover that was the
only way that God can hear us. And so I'm
like literally cover my head thinking that that made me
more honorable. And so I just see that God has
been faithful to show them and so you know, like
(18:35):
my oldest like I said, he's twenty two when he says, mom,
A was reading Galatians and gosh, it's right there or
you know, so they all have their different ways of seeing.
And that's just my prayer is that God, you know,
just directs them, gives them clarity, puts men in their
lives for good God the examples and he's doing that.
So so there's always jokes here and there, you know,
(18:57):
but I know as a they know I had to
do what I had to do. They know, like they
just know that God's yeap. God. God has made man
and woman and his image and so no, like they're
going to be good, godly, awesome husbands.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's really amazing. I think as parents, like the main
thing we should pray for and strive for with our
children is just like pray that they are awakened by
the Holy Spirit, because that's the only thing that will
give them that conviction of what is true and what
is untrue. Like you can teach them as much as
you can do it, but if they don't have that
conviction in them, then it's kind of just like falling
(19:37):
on deaf ears. It's just constantly praying for your children,
and you know, that's hard sometimes at the end of
the day when you're exhausted and you just like want
to like put them in their grib But like I've
been really trying. I'm like kind of a psycho, which
if I had eight kids, I probably couldn't do this,
but like if I have a baby, I am a
freak about rocking them to sleep every single night until
(20:00):
they won't let me anymore, which obviously, like when you
have more kids, you can't, like we can do one
on one right now, like we can separate, like when
William goes to bed, my husband can do him and
I can do the baby. But like I tried to
spend that time, you know, just for just rocking them
and just like praying over their little bodies. You know,
it's like you don't get that, you don't get those
(20:22):
moments back. And I remember someone told me that like
they felt the prayers of their mother like decades later,
and so I feel like that is so powerful when
whenever you decide to pray for your children, but just
to like keep.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yeah, for sure, So I want to say that, like
I was pregnant with number eight, I didn't know it right,
So I didn't know we had to have an escape plan,
so here because he wanted to take us to this cult.
And so so here I'm thinking, I'm taking care of seven,
and then I find out that, you know, I'm pregnant
with number eight, and he is such He's such a
(21:00):
testament of what you're just talking about, not even after
they're born, but in my womb, the peace that that
was during that transition where I went from money to
die to God anchoring me and my identity and him.
And so during the time where he was in my womb, I,
like I said, I chose joy. I just had this peace.
(21:21):
I knew people were praying for me. And he is
such like a ball of well he's seven dollars, so
he's big, but he is just such a joy. And
it could have been totally different because in the womb
and the environment that is created by stress, it could
have been totally different. And I just knew, Wow, that
was when we were when I, like I said, when
(21:42):
we escaped career at a pastor's house, their family was
such a godly example of love. They're prayerful. I mean,
I was just at a place where it was just
I was just totally content and I would keep I would.
I remember like when we escaped out telling the kids
that guys, we're not going to complain. Like this is
(22:03):
like that leaving Egypt moment where we just thank God
for all our blessings. And I do believe that he
was like the result of just the power of prayer,
the power of like of worship music, the power of joy.
Just it's like it starts, you know, in the moom,
but it continues. But like you said, it's just like
(22:25):
prayers are way more powerful than we realize at any.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
That you listened to. Like we always joke, but when
I was pregnant with william My, we used to always
play music and we'd see if he would dance in
the womb or whatever. And like the only time he'd
ever dance was when we played like Brandon Lake. It
was when that I think it was when Gratitude came out,
so like that album was like, you know, awesome, and
(22:51):
he would always kick and we were like, do we
need to rea like we had his name picked out, really,
do we need to rename him like Brandon or something
like he looks But I just feel like words are
powerful as well, and that's why it's so cool. That
you have made it your mission with Lady Bellatore, which
I want you to talk more about and your podcast,
to use your words to encourage women and rewrite or
(23:14):
remind them of their God given identity and if they're
hearing lies from the enemy, to rewrite those narratives back
and turn them back to truth. So can you tell
me a little bit more about Lady Belatore.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, yeah, Lady Belatour was a prophetic word given to
me that I'm a continuing made Trick, that I wasn't
just fighting for my marriage, my family. It was you're
fighting for women to give them a voice. And so
when I heard them, like okay, because at first I
thought may Trick was like feminists, just because that was
what I was kind of told with my ex. And
when he starts saying no, check, He's like, research Maychrick.
(23:48):
It's a woman who's like respect to the community. She's
why she's older. And so when I was learning about her,
I'm like, you know, I'm going to receive this, but
I was like, this is not a name. It doesn't
sound pret and I'm like, God, how do I say that?
How do I say that without saying contending Matar and
he woke me up in the middle of the night
(24:08):
and he said, go look up Warrior and Lenin. So
I looked it up and I'm like, oh, Belatimore, Okay.
And when I told my husband the next day, so
what do you think about that, it goes, what about
Lady Belatore? And I at that moment, I was just
thinking of the name. It sounded nice and I didn't
think about what it meant. And I remember journaling, Lord,
Lady Baltimore is this set, and I was sketching pictures
(24:30):
of her. You know, I said, okay, Lord, I think
this is her and I'm gonna I'm gonna step into her.
And so what he showed me is Lady is not
just the feminine. Lady is royalty as as a lady.
She's she's the daughter of God. She's got she has authority.
So when I talk about lady, she's that that part
who's you know, royalty, she's queen, she has the scepter.
(24:53):
And then Bellatiore is that warrior piece where she's the fighter.
So when I talk about that, when I talk about
the scepter and the authority piece, specifically, I'm talking about
the declarations that we speak. So it's just it's saying
I am this, I am you know, fearfully and wonderfully made,
and we got all the things that we've can declare
(25:15):
in God's words. But then the prayers are also the
sort of the spirit prayers, so it's specific prayers that
aren't just my words. It's it's you know, God, you
said this, this is what your word says. I'm praying
this over my family, praying this over you know, these women.
And so that's where Lady Beltmore came from, which she's
really for, you know, for pillars. Again, she's she's royalty,
(25:37):
she's a child of God, she's she's you know, the
bride of Christ. She's the mom, and she's an impact maker.
And so my heart is for women to live fully
whatever season that is, because it's always different. But a
lot of us as moms, we get caught in like
we should only be moms, we should only be for
the kids, and you know, if we think anything outside
(25:58):
of that, we feel guilty, we feel like shouldn't. And
like I said, there's seasons, but there's so there's seasons
where like for me, I have I had not necessarily
right now for the summer. But I have windows of
opportunity where I can do the podcast, where I can
do more writing, where I can you know, encourage women
hate Like there's parts of you that that God wants
(26:19):
to start nurturing. There's stories that you have that we
need to hear because we need to be encouraged. What
you've gone through divorce, whether you're struggling with a child
and you got out of it. There are so many
things that the devil tries to do to quiet us
and to just go. No one wants to hear that,
or that doesn't matter, or you're a failure or whatever,
and so for me it's like no, get like push
(26:41):
through because you are needed, Like we need to hear
your voice. And so that's my thing. It's just really
encouraging women that you know, again it's in those seasons,
but God wants to use you fully where you also
feel joy because there's this thing. It's like sometimes you think, gosh,
I might just I'm always told that you're only supposed
to go clean and have babes, you know, so to
(27:02):
work here and go you know, God, I loved write.
Oh my gosh, you're going to use it. I love
to you know, encourage women, You're going to use it.
Oh my gosh, Like this is awesome. And I'm still
a wife and I'm still.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
So And first of all, I love that. And second
of all, like anything can be honoring to God if
that's your mindset, and it like I you know, I
always say, like, you know, working out his worship if
you're giving God the glory and where there was a
season of life and the whole reason I started sold
was I was I was using fitness and movement as
(27:35):
punishment and then I had to go through a season
and healing and kind of like rewrite that narrative and
then instead now I can use movement and fitness as
as worship and glorifying Him and anything that you're passionate about.
Like my husband's really passionate about business. Does he like
work in the Christian sector of corporations? No, but he
(27:57):
is like wired to do business. Can he leave like Christ? Yeah?
And and and and especially in areas where you know
there might not be a lot of Christians. It's whatever
your gift is, it can be used as worship as well.
And so I love that you're you're honoring that by
(28:18):
encouraging women and I also one thing that my husband's
really passionate about, and he's mad made passionate about it
is in identity. So I don't know if you've ever
like I'm sure you have been in the church, but
like you know, sometimes you go to church and it's
like they kind of like really rein in on like
you're a sinner saved by grace, and and sometimes you
(28:40):
hear that and it almost rewires your thought process of
like oh, I'm just like not enough, like you know,
and and yes, all that is true. We were saved
by the blood of Christ and that covers all sense.
But also there's so much in scripture that actually says
who we are instead of saying what we were saying
(29:01):
who we are, and like if you speak identity over
someone and that's like the most powerful thing to encourage
him to actually believe what's true of himself rather than
speaking of like, oh, you were a sinner, sure now,
but here you're a child of God, you're a daughter
of the king, you're a royal priesthood, you're a city
set on a hill. Saw. Yeah, all this stuff that
(29:24):
he says, and that how God actually views us because
he only sees us through Christ's blood. Once you start
to believe those things, then you forget the old self.
And that's the whole point is like the new self
replaces is the old self. And so when the world
or like your ex husband or anything in life tries
(29:45):
to like strip you of what's true and place these
false identities on you, it's very easy because we're still
in our flesh. It's very easy for us to believe
those lies because the enemy like wants to just attack
that area of our mind. So you're right with what
you're doing. Is like the constant refreshment of who your
(30:07):
identity is in Christ is what we need to just
keep going back to. Like even like people put sticky
notes on their mirrors or put like affirmations or whatever,
say daily afformations, like that's what you say. It's like
who you are, who God created you to be, and
also who He says you are. You already said that
you were, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, without earnering and striving for it. Like that's who
we are and we just need to receive. I mean,
there's there's such power in just even believing and receiving it.
So God, I am you saying that you and walking
into what He already sees this to be rather than
feeling like, Okay, I gotta I gotta earn my way
to get there. And so yeah, oh my gosh, look,
(30:49):
I mean we're yeah, we're like on the same day level.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And and by the way, it's a daily practice because
there are days, weeks, months, years in my life where
I have not been refreshing my mind with truth, and
I can go backwards and go to dark places and
forget who I am. And also if you are, let's
say you're believing that women are only meant to like
(31:14):
pro create and like be moms and caretakers, well, I
mean what if you can't have children?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
What if you yeah, totally yes, all these things, and
like there's nothing in scripture that says like, oh, well,
your only purpose is to pro create.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
So it's just it reminds you that your identity is
outside of like your circumstances too.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, And I mean I always think, you know, like
as my kids get older, I mean for me, it's
longer that they're going to be out of the house.
But for a mom who is already done and their
kids have moved on, you have their own kids, it's like, well, gosh,
is my purpose. Is there only one purpose for me?
If you think that way, if you think that you're
only supposed to clean and have babies, well, those faces
(32:00):
and those seasons aren't always going to be there. They're
going to show up differently. And so yeah, I mean
I really had to wrestle through a lot of that.
I just I mean, I know that a lot of
women wrestle with the guilt, shame and all that stuff too.
So that's my hardest just to really in different different
ways again with pro sports or out of it. I
(32:20):
just want I mean, it's like that's the devil's thing,
is he He just wants to shut us up, and
he wants us to to not live out our purpose.
And so just like you, I want to, you know,
squash those stupid mindsets.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
So love that more questions that ask every single guest.
And I just realized we're like overtime and my baby,
my wake up. So I have to ask them now,
even though I feel like we could talk about this
for so much longer. We'll have to have you back
on but my it says your recording stuffed. Oh I
guess you're back. Oh okay, it's all good, Okay, So
(32:58):
my questions. One first question is what is something that
you are looking forward to in the rest of twenty
twenty five?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Oh you said twenty twenty five. I was like, I'm
looking forward to grandkids, but that's not gonna happen this year.
What am I looking forward to? Oh? Gosh, I'm looking
forward to what? God, there's It's like, I know a
shift is coming, you know, just with speaking or the
different things that I it's been hard working through this
(33:32):
entrepreneurship space, so a couple of things. So yeah, so
just shift in the trusting part. I feel like I
was saying, hold on, it's coming, but just wait patiently. Yeah.
I'm also one more thing. I'm also looking forward to
finishing my Promise thirty one Lady Ballotore edition of Yes,
I'm doing a promise sorty one devotional, so about halfway through,
(33:54):
so I'm looking forward to that getting done. Yeah, and
I'm so excited. Yes, I'm writing and it's like it
it's like I've written two books, but this one is different.
It's really leaning in on I mean, I'm taking every
verse and some are shorter longer than other. Someone what
am I supposed to say about that? But He's been
so faithful to just give me just a full on
(34:17):
devotional So yeah, so that's coming out hopefully and hopefully
it's you.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yeah, I'm definitely enough to get that one. It's out.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
My next question is what's something that you're currently obsessed
with right now?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
The whole menopausal free men puzzle thing. I'm so trying
to figure out this puzzle. Say, yes, I'm very much
obsessed with trying to get back to where I feel
like comfortable in my way. So I'm with say I'm
working out right now.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yeah. What My next question is what's something that you
really love about yourself right now?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I love my I love my patience with I'm just
like a go with a flow of person. It's so
I don't know, I just feel that that draws people in.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
So you have to be patient with that many children,
you know, that's that's going to be learned.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Last question is if you and I kind of alluded
to this, but if you could leave a post it
note of encouragement on my listener's mirrors or computers, what
would that short little post it note of encouragement say?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
You are loved well, Eileen.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I love talking with you. I bet we could we
record a whole other episode, but we don't have time.
What is the best place for my listeners to connect
with you, to reach out and learn more about what
you're doing.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Well, there's the podcast The Unsideline Life, so you can
find that on YouTube on Sideline dot com, Lady Balachmore
dot com. Also but Facebook, Instagram, Aileen Noise could find
me there Hello at Lady Baltimore. I mean, if you
ever want to reach out, it's hello at Ladybalatmore dot com.
And I will see it, and I am I can,
(35:59):
I could reach out and you know, communicate personally. So
all those things, yes, and then you can when you
get on ladybeltsfor dot com. There's when I get every
whenever I finished a chapter, then you guys can get
it and so that, and then you'll be on a
waiting list for the book.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
So and I will put all those links in the
show notes listening so that it's easy for you to
connect with Eileen. Eileen, thank you so much for joining me.
I've love chatting with you. I hope we can connect
to it.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, thank you so much. Good luck with the can Yes,
and then fine at times tie over soon, so thank
you again.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
All right, listeners, I will talk to you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Heart and Soul. If this episode
encouraged you in any way, please leave a review on
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Talk to
you next week.
You're listening to the Heart and Soul Podcast with Catherine Banko.
I'm on a mission to celebrate breakthrough, empowerment and shameless
living in the lives of women everywhere. Join me and
let's live unashamed together. What's going on everybody? Welcome back
to the Heart and Soul Podcast today. I am joined
by Eileen Ney, who is an author, speaker, coach, and
(00:23):
the host of a podcast as well called The on
Sidelined Life. She's also the founder of Lady Bellatour, which
is a movement dedicated to empowering women, which we do
over here as well to overcome challenges and embrace their
God given purpose. So, Eileen, thank you so much for
joining me and welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Thank you for having me. We've been trying to do
this for a long time because that's how long life goes.
But we're here, so thank you againing me.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We have been. We have done a couple of reschedules,
my daughter got sick, and then this morning we just
like got the times wrong because our minds are everywhere.
But why don't you start by telling my listeners little
bit more about who you are and what you do,
and then we'll just dive into combo from there.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay, well, I am remarried for four years, so I
have a combined amount of kids fifteen totals. So I
have eight ranging from seven to twenty two, and his
are thirteen to about thirty. So I'm and I'm saying
that first just because all my kids for the most part,
(01:26):
are home, no school, so anything goes in this thirty
minutes of podcast, it's like they could be yelling they
can come through. Anything goes. So yeah, so I have Yeah,
I've been married for four years. I'm remarried. Because you
talk about faith, I had a very upspoken Christian husband
who played in the NFL for six sorry for nine years.
(01:47):
We were married for sixteen years and gosh about seven
years after he got done playing. Unfortunately, he ended up
joining a cult. So our Christian faith, everything that we
knew shifted to look at me. It was okay, women
aren't creating the image of God. The kids and I
were property, So it was a complete one from everything
(02:11):
that I knew. And I had an advocate through that.
I mean, crazy stories and all that, but you know,
long story short, God has been so faithful to get
me through, Like I just knew that. I was like,
this is this is an opportunity for me one to
anchor in him because identity I mean just being told
(02:31):
that you're not creating the image of God. I mean
that totally is for me for a loop, which that
was never ever an issue before. But when confusion and
spiritual warfare like come into play, so much goes on.
But I had to anchor my identity in Christ. And
I just saw that God was saying, I mean, I'm
going to use you one to set the tone for
your family. The devil is going to attack, and he's
(02:52):
going to attack the father's, it's going to attack husbands.
He gave me the opportunity to continue to mother, you know, kids,
to choose forgiveness, to choose joy, to choose his ways,
and to help them navigate through all. Listen. So that's
what's been going on. My heart is for the NFL
wives about their wives, because my story is not isolated.
(03:14):
There are four women whose husbands or ex husbands have
joined this particular board. There's women who are going through
seven eight years ago, and there's women who are going
through it now. So there's just the dynamics of that
world that it's just a lot of things that go on,
and so my heart is for women not only in
those exchange, but just that culture, address the pressure, the
(03:37):
things that are behind the scenes that no one understands.
My heart is for them. And then as a whole,
just you know, I love hearing you and what you're
wanting to do. I mean, we need each other and
we need to encourage each other and we need to
be real because again, like when I think about the
NFL world, there's this facade that you have it all together,
(03:57):
and when you when you see that, and if that's
in your face all the time, how can you not
feel lesson? How can you not feel like no one
understands me? Where do I turn? And then your voice
is lost in the shuffle because you don't think you
have anything offer. So in so many likays, that's what
happened with me, and God really anchored me through that
to where yeah, I mean counter, I'll drive me fonto
(04:21):
various trials like he did that, and I'm taking opportunity
because one is just I mean, he's done so much
in my life and just to say double, you're not
gonna win this one. So that's a nutshell version of.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I feel like I could ask so many follow up questions.
I want to make sure I'm like careful though with
how I address things, because I'm sure a lot of
it's like hyper sensitive and you have eight children, and
I don't want to like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I'm honestly it's yeah, I'll go for it. Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
So my first question is, at what point in your
relationship with your ex did you, like starts see signs
that he was like maybe leaving your faith, the faith
that y'all had been angered in and entering this cult.
And is this cult specific to the NFL, like you
said that a lot of the NFL wives.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
No, I mean there, I hate to say it, but
my ex ended up being like kind of a spokesmore
person for this cult, and so he was the one
that kind of recruited though. To answer your first question,
you know, we have we have seven boys and one girl,
so she was number seven, and so he always wanted boys.
You know, he would talk about the twelve Tribes of Israel.
(05:33):
I saw that there was in his personality. It's just
very you know, very intense, and it was the opposite
of trash kind of thing. And when we had our girl,
long story short in a nutshell, the things that were
underneath the surface, which really was rooted into his relationship
with his own mom. Twin sister didn't get along with
and so there was this thing of a fear of
women that he actually acknowledged. But when it finally came out,
(05:58):
we were going through issues and finally was out and
I said this, we could work with this, like we can,
we can work to bring healing. And one thing that
he said, which you know spiritually, when you make the house,
it's not good, and he's like, I will never put
myself in that situation again. And so that that just
contributed to my voice being smaller and smaller like that,
(06:20):
like I said, like that complimentary you know, relationship, it
was only about how it was just all about the
respect of men. And I mean, if women were creating
image of God and our and our basically all that
we bring to the tables, having kids and cooking and cleaning,
then her voice is really to be shut up. And
(06:41):
that was that was what was happening. And so that was,
like I said, that was two thousand and fourteen, Yeah,
and it was just very subtle two years, two to
three years of just just just normal trials and marriage.
She had to go back to school because he was
changing careers, and so I just thought that's what it was.
(07:01):
I thought, were to get through this, you know, this
is just a season. And he just after he started
studying that CFP, the Certified Financial Planning, he just really
got into just this. I will say it's black hebra
is your life's influenced. So it's you know, the like
basically black people are the chosen people. If you are
(07:22):
not black, you can't go to heaven unless there's some
sort of I don't know, like for a woman if
she's o began to her husband, you know, so it's
contingent on that she can go to heaven that way,
you know, there needs to be some sort of covering.
So it's just, you know, it's it's sadly a very
twisted thing on on what the Bible says. It goes
(07:44):
a lot back to the Old Testament and the law
and you know, keeping the Sabbath and making sure you
don't eat pork, all those things. It's very rule oriented.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So is crazy. Did you so you said you have
seven boys and one girl, right? Did you always want
a big family or was that something that like he
was kind of learning like women just pro create kind
of thing, like obviously you're grateful for your children now,
but is that what he always wanted?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I always said about four or five. That's just because
I'm I have five, you know, our four brothers. He
was the same thing. So it was like, you know,
he had like seven, I think seven siblings. And that
was at a time where we went to a Christian
conference and the speaker try to talk. He started to
talking about leaving a legacy, and I just remember going ooh,
(08:35):
like God, I want that, like I want to those
those acorns that turn into strong oaks. I just remember saying,
I'll have as many babysits you have as you want
me to have. Just get me back to so this
whole fitness thing in my vanity, I was like, just
get me back to my pre baby wait. And literally
I believe it. He's like he's humorous because I would
reached that my ideal lumber and then boom, I got
(08:58):
pregnant every single time. So I'm like, Lord, you're funny.
So yeah, that's that's that's that. I didn't start that way,
but I mean, gosh, I wouldn't have any other way,
as crazy as it can get and super stressful as
it can get sometimes, especially now, when you see the
different fruit of relationships as they get older, the conversations change,
(09:21):
and so yeah, it's such a blessing. And then to
see how they treat each other, to see you know,
it's not always the vickering. It's it's it's the love
that I see it. I yeah, I wouldn't have it
any other way. I love it.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
What would you say? We're the hardest ages to parents
so far?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
For me, it's always the potty training. It's the pull
up stages because you know, yeah, you know what you
when they were in diapers poop all day long. We
wouldn't get to me. But I'm like, you know how
to poop in the toilet, but you prop or like
that for sure. And I was just thinking about this.
(09:58):
There's always a season with every one, like and some
are harder than others, but there's that season of the
hormone to change where I just feel like there's been
like bucking heads and thank god that you know, I
like one, two, three, about three or four where it's
like those conversations or just this there's like probably one
(10:19):
or two major big arguments for us.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
That I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna go through
this eight times is not easy, but I you know,
you get sorry, that's them playing video games, Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
That the relationships I I mean, I I can honestly
say that that I have good relationships with each one.
I don't think there's like nothing, you know, like there's
there's the ability to push through and talk and resolve
conflict no matter how hard it's gotten. And so so
those are definitely the hard phases where it's a totally
(10:54):
emotionally consuming, you know thing, and praying for them is
it can get intense. But I think I've learned from
the first three how to navigate those hard conversations in
a better way. But again, the food love those is
just yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Okay, So what I did. I'm just curious because I'm
a new mom and I have a mom questions. What
is what was the hardest transition? Like people say, you know,
from like two to three kids, it was like so hard.
Obviously you have gone to eight, so clearly like've been
through a lot of transitions, but which one was the
hardest for you?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Hands on? Physically speaking? I think the three and that
was a time where they would feed off each other
and they would cry because the other one would cry.
And so I remember telling the third all the time
when he was a baby, and this is part of
like what I've learned. You know, their subconscious minds right
(11:53):
fully developed. And so I would say, sorry, you're just
gonna have to defend yourself because your siblings are crying.
And what he learned do is he's learned to step
on his two fingers and just soothe self sooth. And
so when I had like learned about the subconscious mind
and how basically I was kind of creating this message
you're going to have to take care of yourself, I
(12:14):
had to go back when I learned through this program
called Life Spiels International, where you learn about subconscious mind,
I had to go back and say, hey, two to
three years old, I remember talking to him and going,
you know, moms here like I'm sorry for saying that,
even though I knew he couldn't consciously understand. I was
talking to subconscious to say, I am we're protecting you.
(12:38):
You're okay, like we're going to take care of you,
and I'm telling you that I just saw this countenance lifted.
So I forgot your question already, but that was that's
you know, that was like part of that parenting of
getting through and just yeah, okay, you're talking about like
the transition of numbers, there's also the transition that you know,
(13:01):
I mean, I have always It's just it's not the
necessarily the numbers thing, but just because there's so many
different you know, it's not you can't like you can't
like just take all of them like little chickling or
you know, duck platings with you like at some point
you got one playing soccer, you know, going to dance,
one going to football. So when they get older, it's
(13:22):
for sure harder in a different way.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, I've already seen that being difficult going from like
one to two, which is like probably like child play view.
But for me, I remember my chap, my firstborn William.
He really struggled the first six months of my daughter's
life because everything was new, like he's he was so
used to being the only child, and so there was
(13:47):
a lot of like me having to comfort my daughter
and him feeling kind of abandoned, and you kind of
see the shift in him. It's like you don't want
him to feel that way, but you know, physically your
baby actually like needs to feed up from you and
be held by you. And and so the first six
months of Coco's my daughter of Coco's life, William was
(14:12):
just very He tried to test me on that, like
testing me see like what would it take for him
to get more attention. And I could kind of see
that coming. And in the midst of that, we were
potty training him, he was going to preschool. It was
just like all these transitions and I still He'll hear
(14:33):
people say, like, you know, two to three is way harder,
and I'm sure it would be. And if God gives
me another baby, that'd be amazing. But that was really
difficult for me of like you have this one baby
who has like all your attention and then all of
a sudden, they're not the baby anymore. It's like you
kind of need them to step up into being more independent,
(14:55):
but they're so dependent on you still. So it's that
was like really hard. It kind of left me feeling
like guilty some days. And I'm just like I wish
I had four hands, you know, to and.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, for sure, I think I think, you know, because
ours were the first three. That was eighteen months in between,
so they didn't they didn't have much time to just
think that they're on their own. But you said there
was like what three years. Yeah, so for sure. I mean,
if his world is just to have you to himself,
(15:28):
oh my gosh, I can I'm sure it was a
soft system in every way. So and then yeah, thet
when you're when you're transitioning, it's not like he's getting
that lovey dovey that he was getting before, because it's
the discipline is coming in and all those things.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
And he was, he was and is the worst at potting.
I mean, they'd say boys are hard, harder than to
pie train, and I've only had one, but he was
so hard and he's still in it. Like, oh my gosh,
it's so hard to hate. But I want to go
back to the call.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
By the way, the potty training thing, different technique for
each and every one of them.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Yeah, I'm sure they're all recent Yeah, yes, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
My last question like circling back to the cult of
it all and like how your ex husband kind of
viewed women as more so like tools to procreate and
didn't have an identity has it been some Has that
been something that's affected your sons and how they see
women or you was like you separating from your husband
(16:32):
kind of like I can't let this happen to them,
so we have to like separate our lives. I don't
know it's that question makes sense. But have your sons
been affected by the by how they view women as well?
Or is that something you've been in.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
I'm sure, I'm sure they I'm sure they have. So,
you know, it took a lot of me seeking Holy
Spirit on like how do I talk to this one?
So my oldest was fifteen at the time, so it's fifteen,
thirteen eleven. I'm you know, don't line. I I never
wanted to bash. It was like, God, help me to
(17:07):
navigate through this so that one they don't be bitter
towards you, so that they aren't better towards me, and
they're not bitter toward their father. So I had to
do it in a way that honored all of us
and thank God. So it's I have to say this
that when my my my ex he like I said,
he was a very strong Christian man and he would
always try to coach us in rally and he'd say, guys,
(17:30):
He's like, you know, we need a rendezvous around you
this if you want to be in heaven together, you know,
we need we need to stay close to Jesus. And
he would say this, which is I don't I don't know,
in a sense, it's weirdly prophetic. He'd saying, even if
I fall away, you stay close to God, he goes
follow Jesus. And so in a in a way, I
still hang on that, like we honored you to the
(17:51):
end that we are following Jesus even and you you know,
fell away, so you know the heat, thank God, and
I know that He's going to continue to do this
that they see through the word, you know what God
says that whole image of God thing that was super
hard and even for me knowing that that was completely absurd,
(18:15):
but then of course just getting confused after a time
of like God, do you even hear me? He told
me how women had to wear headcover that was the
only way that God can hear us. And so I'm
like literally cover my head thinking that that made me
more honorable. And so I just see that God has
been faithful to show them and so you know, like
(18:35):
my oldest like I said, he's twenty two when he says, mom,
A was reading Galatians and gosh, it's right there or
you know, so they all have their different ways of seeing.
And that's just my prayer is that God, you know,
just directs them, gives them clarity, puts men in their
lives for good God the examples and he's doing that.
So so there's always jokes here and there, you know,
(18:57):
but I know as a they know I had to
do what I had to do. They know, like they
just know that God's yeap. God. God has made man
and woman and his image and so no, like they're
going to be good, godly, awesome husbands.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's really amazing. I think as parents, like the main
thing we should pray for and strive for with our
children is just like pray that they are awakened by
the Holy Spirit, because that's the only thing that will
give them that conviction of what is true and what
is untrue. Like you can teach them as much as
you can do it, but if they don't have that
conviction in them, then it's kind of just like falling
(19:37):
on deaf ears. It's just constantly praying for your children,
and you know, that's hard sometimes at the end of
the day when you're exhausted and you just like want
to like put them in their grib But like I've
been really trying. I'm like kind of a psycho, which
if I had eight kids, I probably couldn't do this,
but like if I have a baby, I am a
freak about rocking them to sleep every single night until
(20:00):
they won't let me anymore, which obviously, like when you
have more kids, you can't, like we can do one
on one right now, like we can separate, like when
William goes to bed, my husband can do him and
I can do the baby. But like I tried to
spend that time, you know, just for just rocking them
and just like praying over their little bodies. You know,
it's like you don't get that, you don't get those
(20:22):
moments back. And I remember someone told me that like
they felt the prayers of their mother like decades later,
and so I feel like that is so powerful when
whenever you decide to pray for your children, but just
to like keep.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yeah, for sure, So I want to say that, like
I was pregnant with number eight, I didn't know it right,
So I didn't know we had to have an escape plan,
so here because he wanted to take us to this cult.
And so so here I'm thinking, I'm taking care of seven,
and then I find out that, you know, I'm pregnant
with number eight, and he is such He's such a
(21:00):
testament of what you're just talking about, not even after
they're born, but in my womb, the peace that that
was during that transition where I went from money to
die to God anchoring me and my identity and him.
And so during the time where he was in my womb, I,
like I said, I chose joy. I just had this peace.
(21:21):
I knew people were praying for me. And he is
such like a ball of well he's seven dollars, so
he's big, but he is just such a joy. And
it could have been totally different because in the womb
and the environment that is created by stress, it could
have been totally different. And I just knew, Wow, that
was when we were when I, like I said, when
(21:42):
we escaped career at a pastor's house, their family was
such a godly example of love. They're prayerful. I mean,
I was just at a place where it was just
I was just totally content and I would keep I would.
I remember like when we escaped out telling the kids
that guys, we're not going to complain. Like this is
(22:03):
like that leaving Egypt moment where we just thank God
for all our blessings. And I do believe that he
was like the result of just the power of prayer,
the power of like of worship music, the power of joy.
Just it's like it starts, you know, in the moom,
but it continues. But like you said, it's just like
(22:25):
prayers are way more powerful than we realize at any.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
That you listened to. Like we always joke, but when
I was pregnant with william My, we used to always
play music and we'd see if he would dance in
the womb or whatever. And like the only time he'd
ever dance was when we played like Brandon Lake. It
was when that I think it was when Gratitude came out,
so like that album was like, you know, awesome, and
(22:51):
he would always kick and we were like, do we
need to rea like we had his name picked out, really,
do we need to rename him like Brandon or something
like he looks But I just feel like words are
powerful as well, and that's why it's so cool. That
you have made it your mission with Lady Bellatore, which
I want you to talk more about and your podcast,
to use your words to encourage women and rewrite or
(23:14):
remind them of their God given identity and if they're
hearing lies from the enemy, to rewrite those narratives back
and turn them back to truth. So can you tell
me a little bit more about Lady Belatore.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, yeah, Lady Belatour was a prophetic word given to
me that I'm a continuing made Trick, that I wasn't
just fighting for my marriage, my family. It was you're
fighting for women to give them a voice. And so
when I heard them, like okay, because at first I
thought may Trick was like feminists, just because that was
what I was kind of told with my ex. And
when he starts saying no, check, He's like, research Maychrick.
(23:48):
It's a woman who's like respect to the community. She's
why she's older. And so when I was learning about her,
I'm like, you know, I'm going to receive this, but
I was like, this is not a name. It doesn't
sound pret and I'm like, God, how do I say that?
How do I say that without saying contending Matar and
he woke me up in the middle of the night
(24:08):
and he said, go look up Warrior and Lenin. So
I looked it up and I'm like, oh, Belatimore, Okay.
And when I told my husband the next day, so
what do you think about that, it goes, what about
Lady Belatore? And I at that moment, I was just
thinking of the name. It sounded nice and I didn't
think about what it meant. And I remember journaling, Lord,
Lady Baltimore is this set, and I was sketching pictures
(24:30):
of her. You know, I said, okay, Lord, I think
this is her and I'm gonna I'm gonna step into her.
And so what he showed me is Lady is not
just the feminine. Lady is royalty as as a lady.
She's she's the daughter of God. She's got she has authority.
So when I talk about lady, she's that that part
who's you know, royalty, she's queen, she has the scepter.
(24:53):
And then Bellatiore is that warrior piece where she's the fighter.
So when I talk about that, when I talk about
the scepter and the authority piece, specifically, I'm talking about
the declarations that we speak. So it's just it's saying
I am this, I am you know, fearfully and wonderfully made,
and we got all the things that we've can declare
(25:15):
in God's words. But then the prayers are also the
sort of the spirit prayers, so it's specific prayers that
aren't just my words. It's it's you know, God, you
said this, this is what your word says. I'm praying
this over my family, praying this over you know, these women.
And so that's where Lady Beltmore came from, which she's
really for, you know, for pillars. Again, she's she's royalty,
(25:37):
she's a child of God, she's she's you know, the
bride of Christ. She's the mom, and she's an impact maker.
And so my heart is for women to live fully
whatever season that is, because it's always different. But a
lot of us as moms, we get caught in like
we should only be moms, we should only be for
the kids, and you know, if we think anything outside
(25:58):
of that, we feel guilty, we feel like shouldn't. And
like I said, there's seasons, but there's so there's seasons
where like for me, I have I had not necessarily
right now for the summer. But I have windows of
opportunity where I can do the podcast, where I can
do more writing, where I can you know, encourage women
hate Like there's parts of you that that God wants
(26:19):
to start nurturing. There's stories that you have that we
need to hear because we need to be encouraged. What
you've gone through divorce, whether you're struggling with a child
and you got out of it. There are so many
things that the devil tries to do to quiet us
and to just go. No one wants to hear that,
or that doesn't matter, or you're a failure or whatever,
and so for me it's like no, get like push
(26:41):
through because you are needed, Like we need to hear
your voice. And so that's my thing. It's just really
encouraging women that you know, again it's in those seasons,
but God wants to use you fully where you also
feel joy because there's this thing. It's like sometimes you think, gosh,
I might just I'm always told that you're only supposed
to go clean and have babes, you know, so to
(27:02):
work here and go you know, God, I loved write.
Oh my gosh, you're going to use it. I love
to you know, encourage women, You're going to use it.
Oh my gosh, Like this is awesome. And I'm still
a wife and I'm still.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
So And first of all, I love that. And second
of all, like anything can be honoring to God if
that's your mindset, and it like I you know, I
always say, like, you know, working out his worship if
you're giving God the glory and where there was a
season of life and the whole reason I started sold
was I was I was using fitness and movement as
(27:35):
punishment and then I had to go through a season
and healing and kind of like rewrite that narrative and
then instead now I can use movement and fitness as
as worship and glorifying Him and anything that you're passionate about.
Like my husband's really passionate about business. Does he like
work in the Christian sector of corporations? No, but he
(27:57):
is like wired to do business. Can he leave like Christ? Yeah?
And and and and especially in areas where you know
there might not be a lot of Christians. It's whatever
your gift is, it can be used as worship as well.
And so I love that you're you're honoring that by
(28:18):
encouraging women and I also one thing that my husband's
really passionate about, and he's mad made passionate about it
is in identity. So I don't know if you've ever
like I'm sure you have been in the church, but
like you know, sometimes you go to church and it's
like they kind of like really rein in on like
you're a sinner saved by grace, and and sometimes you
(28:40):
hear that and it almost rewires your thought process of
like oh, I'm just like not enough, like you know,
and and yes, all that is true. We were saved
by the blood of Christ and that covers all sense.
But also there's so much in scripture that actually says
who we are instead of saying what we were saying
(29:01):
who we are, and like if you speak identity over
someone and that's like the most powerful thing to encourage
him to actually believe what's true of himself rather than
speaking of like, oh, you were a sinner, sure now,
but here you're a child of God, you're a daughter
of the king, you're a royal priesthood, you're a city
set on a hill. Saw. Yeah, all this stuff that
(29:24):
he says, and that how God actually views us because
he only sees us through Christ's blood. Once you start
to believe those things, then you forget the old self.
And that's the whole point is like the new self
replaces is the old self. And so when the world
or like your ex husband or anything in life tries
(29:45):
to like strip you of what's true and place these
false identities on you, it's very easy because we're still
in our flesh. It's very easy for us to believe
those lies because the enemy like wants to just attack
that area of our mind. So you're right with what
you're doing. Is like the constant refreshment of who your
(30:07):
identity is in Christ is what we need to just
keep going back to. Like even like people put sticky
notes on their mirrors or put like affirmations or whatever,
say daily afformations, like that's what you say. It's like
who you are, who God created you to be, and
also who He says you are. You already said that
you were, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, without earnering and striving for it. Like that's who
we are and we just need to receive. I mean,
there's there's such power in just even believing and receiving it.
So God, I am you saying that you and walking
into what He already sees this to be rather than
feeling like, Okay, I gotta I gotta earn my way
to get there. And so yeah, oh my gosh, look,
(30:49):
I mean we're yeah, we're like on the same day level.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And and by the way, it's a daily practice because
there are days, weeks, months, years in my life where
I have not been refreshing my mind with truth, and
I can go backwards and go to dark places and
forget who I am. And also if you are, let's
say you're believing that women are only meant to like
(31:14):
pro create and like be moms and caretakers, well, I
mean what if you can't have children?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
What if you yeah, totally yes, all these things, and
like there's nothing in scripture that says like, oh, well,
your only purpose is to pro create.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
So it's just it reminds you that your identity is
outside of like your circumstances too.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, And I mean I always think, you know, like
as my kids get older, I mean for me, it's
longer that they're going to be out of the house.
But for a mom who is already done and their
kids have moved on, you have their own kids, it's like, well, gosh,
is my purpose. Is there only one purpose for me?
If you think that way, if you think that you're
only supposed to clean and have babies, well, those faces
(32:00):
and those seasons aren't always going to be there. They're
going to show up differently. And so yeah, I mean
I really had to wrestle through a lot of that.
I just I mean, I know that a lot of
women wrestle with the guilt, shame and all that stuff too.
So that's my hardest just to really in different different
ways again with pro sports or out of it. I
(32:20):
just want I mean, it's like that's the devil's thing,
is he He just wants to shut us up, and
he wants us to to not live out our purpose.
And so just like you, I want to, you know,
squash those stupid mindsets.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
So love that more questions that ask every single guest.
And I just realized we're like overtime and my baby,
my wake up. So I have to ask them now,
even though I feel like we could talk about this
for so much longer. We'll have to have you back
on but my it says your recording stuffed. Oh I
guess you're back. Oh okay, it's all good, Okay, So
(32:58):
my questions. One first question is what is something that
you are looking forward to in the rest of twenty
twenty five?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Oh you said twenty twenty five. I was like, I'm
looking forward to grandkids, but that's not gonna happen this year.
What am I looking forward to? Oh? Gosh, I'm looking
forward to what? God, there's It's like, I know a
shift is coming, you know, just with speaking or the
different things that I it's been hard working through this
(33:32):
entrepreneurship space, so a couple of things. So yeah, so
just shift in the trusting part. I feel like I
was saying, hold on, it's coming, but just wait patiently. Yeah.
I'm also one more thing. I'm also looking forward to
finishing my Promise thirty one Lady Ballotore edition of Yes,
I'm doing a promise sorty one devotional, so about halfway through,
(33:54):
so I'm looking forward to that getting done. Yeah, and
I'm so excited. Yes, I'm writing and it's like it
it's like I've written two books, but this one is different.
It's really leaning in on I mean, I'm taking every
verse and some are shorter longer than other. Someone what
am I supposed to say about that? But He's been
so faithful to just give me just a full on
(34:17):
devotional So yeah, so that's coming out hopefully and hopefully
it's you.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yeah, I'm definitely enough to get that one. It's out.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
My next question is what's something that you're currently obsessed
with right now?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
The whole menopausal free men puzzle thing. I'm so trying
to figure out this puzzle. Say, yes, I'm very much
obsessed with trying to get back to where I feel
like comfortable in my way. So I'm with say I'm
working out right now.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Yeah. What My next question is what's something that you
really love about yourself right now?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I love my I love my patience with I'm just
like a go with a flow of person. It's so
I don't know, I just feel that that draws people in.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
So you have to be patient with that many children,
you know, that's that's going to be learned.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Last question is if you and I kind of alluded
to this, but if you could leave a post it
note of encouragement on my listener's mirrors or computers, what
would that short little post it note of encouragement say?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
You are loved well, Eileen.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I love talking with you. I bet we could we
record a whole other episode, but we don't have time.
What is the best place for my listeners to connect
with you, to reach out and learn more about what
you're doing.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Well, there's the podcast The Unsideline Life, so you can
find that on YouTube on Sideline dot com, Lady Balachmore
dot com. Also but Facebook, Instagram, Aileen Noise could find
me there Hello at Lady Baltimore. I mean, if you
ever want to reach out, it's hello at Ladybalatmore dot com.
And I will see it, and I am I can,
(35:59):
I could reach out and you know, communicate personally. So
all those things, yes, and then you can when you
get on ladybeltsfor dot com. There's when I get every
whenever I finished a chapter, then you guys can get
it and so that, and then you'll be on a
waiting list for the book.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
So and I will put all those links in the
show notes listening so that it's easy for you to
connect with Eileen. Eileen, thank you so much for joining me.
I've love chatting with you. I hope we can connect
to it.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, thank you so much. Good luck with the can Yes,
and then fine at times tie over soon, so thank
you again.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
All right, listeners, I will talk to you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Heart and Soul. If this episode
encouraged you in any way, please leave a review on
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Talk to
you next week.
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