April 21, 2025 • 32 mins
On today’s episode, writer, comedian and host of Mamamia's 456 Club podcast, Cathrine Mahoney joins us to share her unfiltered experience of parenting a teenager. With her trademark humour, Cathrine Mahoney offers hilarious reality checks about what's coming in the teenage years from endless food bills to impossible-to-wake mornings, and the unexpected melancholy of the parenting moments you don't realise will be your last.
Whether you're in the trenches with little ones, or watching your teenager pull away, this episode offers the perfect blend of practical wisdom and emotional validation about the parenting journey that passes all too quickly, reminding us to treasure even the challenging parts of parenting.
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CREDITS:
Host: Tegan Natoli, Annaliese Todd
With thanks to Cathrine Mahoney
Producer: Tina Matolov
Audio Producer: Jacob Round
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to another Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
have recorded this podcast on the Gatagoul people of the
Eur Nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Rate Islander cultures. Hi, it's Annalise Todd dropping into
your feed, host of Mamma MEA's parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess.
(00:48):
I wanted to share an episode with you because we
had Kath Mahoney come and visit us recently. She is
the host of Mamma MEA's four five.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Six Club podcast, and she talked about the hilarious, unfiltered
experience of the teenage years, from the endless food bills
to the impossible wake up mornings, and also some of
the sadness and the unexpected melancholy of the parenting moments
that you don't realize will be last. So I hope
(01:18):
you enjoy Hello and welcome to this Glorious Mess. We're
embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Anly's Todd
and help I have a teenager. My eldest just turned thirteen.
Send thoughts and press. Wow, Oh my gosh, it's happening.
(01:40):
I know, I'm teaking a tolly and I had three
kids in a year, so they're now six and seven.
And I'm so scared for you, because I don't know
what's worse, like three toddlers all at once or when
I have three teens all at once. I think three teenagers. Oh,
because it goes for longer. It's so true, especially when
(02:04):
they're like three of them spaced out of yet.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
And today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer,
comedian and host of Muma Meres four five six Club podcast,
Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,
as her son Lewis just turned six, so she's going
to be our oracle into the future and scare us
by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.
(02:29):
And we're also going to be touching on the things
you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,
all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently
loathe one day soon you'll actually might miss them, yep,
And how you never quite know when things will be.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Your last you know, the last last, get me and
the first and then all the last.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I think the lasts are so much sad because the
first exciting, and it's like they've achieved something. It's likest
is like and usually you don't realize it in that moment.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
It's like you know, or you know the other day, I'm.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Like, I can't carry you guys to bed anymore, You're
too heavy.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
I know, I still end up doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
I wish it was the bloody last that is coming
up very soon our chat with Kath and I cannot wait.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Oh, I cannot wait too.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. So
I came across.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
A TikTok this week. Oh you love a tip?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking well
do you?
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Anyway?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
It's a well known actor Kira Kasara, and she shared
a TikTok hack on how to solve this dilemma and
save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm in yes, So like,
are you are You're a decisive person?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Aren't you analie?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Mostly?
Speaker 5 (03:50):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (03:51):
How about in relationships? You know, like when it's like, oh,
what do you feel like for dinner? Oh? No, I
am one trillion percent decis Yeah, you'd be like, I
absolutely need to eat this.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Yes. Yeah. So this hack is like a marriage hack
that saves arguments. So basically it's bringing in.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
It's called the fifty to fifty marriage hack, and it's
all about the percentage of what you want to do
and then your partner's percentage of where they're at. And
that's like your negotiation percentage rates. Let me give you
a I've got.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yes, I can see the.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I need pins and strings of your life.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Example, I'm your boyfriend, I have my friend had I
walk in and we're going to go out for dinner.
All right, what are you leaning towards? What do you
feel like to eat for dinner? I feel like Indian
ninety percent? Okay, and tie ten percent. Oh that's really
uncomfortable for me because I don't like Indian food, but
because I know you want it so badly ninety percent,
(04:49):
Like that's a pretty high percentage. I might have been like, oh, look,
I only wanted Indian fifty percent. I could have done
tie fifty percent, but you know what, because you are
like ninety percent wanting your Indian food, Yes, we'll go
with Indian tonight, right, So it's about putting a compromising
It's like it's like putting your cards on the table
(05:10):
in terms of like no, this matters like this much
to me, and this doesn't really matter as much to me,
and then the other person can go, okay, well I
could see the that really matters to you and this
doesn't really matter to me, so let's meet here.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
So it's like a communication compromise tool.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
It is like compromise negotiation, meet in the middle, and
you can see it for anything anything like yes, whether
to go out on a Saturday, like yeah, do you
want to stay in or go out? Like how much
do you want to go out on? Like twenty percent
go out? And it's like, oh, but you know, I'm
like eighty percent want to go out. Okay, well I
can find another thirty percent and meet you there. Because
(05:51):
when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be indecisive
with language, so you don't really know where the other
person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,
I don't know, you do know, but you just don't
like you don't want to say it, or you're not
sure which one. But if you put your two options
like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,
(06:12):
and then the other person brings their two options with
their percentages that they want, and then you together can
come up with a little and an equally decided decision.
I'm going to use this tactic and totally this is
my second favorite thing you've ever brought to job that
what was the first? The karaoke where there was women
fighting over the last time, that was my first favorite.
(06:35):
Sorry all you're going to say with my David, Oh yeah,
that's probably now third. Okay, So, Annalisea, you caught up
with your mate recently, the very funny comedian and author
Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten you about having
(06:56):
a teenager. Well, you've already frightened me about you having
a teenager, and also frighten us about what you now
can expect now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis,
has just turned sixteen, and I can't wait to hear
what she had to say. Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to
this glorious mess. I've brought you in today because help
(07:21):
I have a teenager.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
Congratulations, Thank you so both made it this far. I
know just but.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
It's my first and so I'm scared.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the
Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a
scarier time, literally to have a teenager. So you're a
few years down the track, Lewis is sixteen.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Yeah, just turned sixteen. My freak out because I keep
reverting to what I was doing at sixteen.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh gosh, I'm like, no, dying in a field.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation that
never looked very good. That's probably too short in the lag,
dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he won't be
doing that.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
No, definitely not in a cat suit.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
No, but you'd totally fine, be totally fine.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Yeah, it's it's just strange, strange time.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Do you know why I was thinking this morning?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel
right that I have one.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
As they get older, you realize more and more and
more how your parents were winging it. Like you look
to your parents when you're a kid and you were like,
they know everything. And now I have a sixteen year
old and I'm fifty, I still go, I know nothing.
What does reddits say about that. Let's get on Google.
Let's call a friend.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
I don't know I have called a friend. Yeah, So like,
what a what am I walking into here? What do
I need to expect? Look out for?
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Look? I think they all you know you have a boy.
I have a boy. I have friends who've got daughters,
and I go, oh, glad, I've got the boy. I mean,
I think I feel very lucky that Lewis is a
delicious kid, Like he really is a good young man.
But you know, stuff happens, and it is and it
is as you're told. Suddenly you literally feel like the
(09:09):
uber chef money provider. Yeah, I mean, I mean, where
can I start? The fridge? So I'm a solo parent
like you. It's just me and lou or me, So
I kind of know what I've put in the fridge
will be there tomorrow. So if I overcook for dinner,
that's fine. I can have that for lunch or send
it off for louse school. Except teenagers do things like
(09:30):
when you go to bed, they just go back to
the fridge. He's sort of like a I don't know,
He's like a swarm of locusts through my fridge. Nothing
stays there so you've got food ahead of you got
really long showers? Good? Not good? If they indicate what
some other friends with older boys have said, they indicate right,
(09:53):
What else can I tell?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Food bill?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Water bill?
Speaker 5 (09:56):
Food bill is ridiculous? Also, I want to go to
sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather, like, I
would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or
six in the morning and be asleep for nine. Lewis
I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in
the morning. But he's still wide awake late into the night.
So we are definitely on a different trajectory when it
(10:18):
comes to sleep time.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Can you tell them to go to sleep? Still have
juris junctions?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
No, you don't have a lot. You don't have the
power that you used to have when they were little. Sadly, yeah, no,
you don't have really any control.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends
who have daughters going through this, I think for girls
it's it's the emotions, a lot of emotions. And my
favorite story is, like my girlfriend the other day, she
was like, oh, we've both got our period. We're in sync.
My poor husband. Do people having their period at the
same time?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
My girl's friend has been just in that situation whereas
Lewis and I are his teenage hormones, and I was like, perimenopause. Oh,
that's so that was hard. That was like he didn't
know what was going on with his body or his emotions.
I didn't know what was going on with my body
or emotions. At least I'm on the HRT. No, Paul
louis just having to push through. But we did. We
(11:14):
had the big discussion. You know, you're going through all
of these changes, so is mum. So if you do
not on the fourth time, I ask you to take
the Apple and Chris packets from the corner of the
room because it's not actually dedicated. Ben, you don't do
it on the fourth time, I will turn out like
the Banshee from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
We had parenting Guru Jen Muir on the show a
while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,
the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know
this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that
they're experiencing sort of crumples their frontal lobe, so their
actual function is less than it used to be, and
(11:54):
so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes
and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't
see things anymore. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish
by the front door and Lewis will step over them.
Like we're on the fourth floor of an Art deco building.
No lift, so you'll fill like a sherpa going up
and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make
a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff. The towel.
The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on
(12:23):
the floor, So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah,
binsin bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things out near
the bins outside our block and lu said, I just
sometimes I'm just try and throw the apple call. I'm like, Lewis,
you know, come on, So bins are terrible, food is terrible,
(12:46):
Homework is a bit of a chore.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Did that start out well?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Because I feel like we're starting out well, yeah, you
start out well, Everything starts out well.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
You're in the honeymoon period. You really are, you really are.
And there's this kind of smell that they have. You
probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must
just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older
sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Although if they showered oder eyes.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Showering, there's just like a smell. Although sometimes I will
catch Lewis just putting his deodrint like over his jumper.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh god, that we.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Need to we need to go into the armpit situation.
It's not going to help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah,
they're a joy. They also don't want you to talk
to them, so that lovely sort of two way conversation
that you have stops and only resumes if they want
to chat, so out of nowhere, they'll ask you something
(13:42):
and it will be quite a deep conversation. It's usually
in the car for me and I side by side,
the face to face, and you're like, I'm back in
a real person, let's have a conversation, you know. And
then other times, like on the weekend we went down
the coast to spend some time with my folks who
are here from the UK, and Lewis like, I'm so
(14:02):
excited we're all going to be together as a family,
and then he got in the car and for the
next hour and half put his ear pods in, sat
in the front with Mete.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I just was like, right, he's a great time. He's
usually much better, I promise, But.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
This is all normal. Apparently this is all normal. And
I have to say, you know, so far touched woods.
He's a pretty good kid.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
One of the things that I've heard is that can
be really tricky for people. And I think it was
different for you and I because we had the solo
parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that
it's that real letting go. And if you don't have
something else in your life other than your children and
they are your entire focus because they are pulling away
(14:45):
from you, that can be so tricky because then you're
a bit like, oh, what do I do now.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was
five when my ex husband and I split up. So
for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never
we haven't been together all the time, so you do
get used to that. What I was talking to another
friend who's a solo parent with it with teenage kids
was as they get older, having them in the house
(15:13):
can feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're
out and about doing your own thing. When they are there,
they're still at an age where you have to be there,
cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,
eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.
You're still a parent, but they want zero to do
with you. So it's like you have gone at the
times where you're like, should we watch a show together?
(15:35):
Totally gone, no, So you literally will make the food.
They may or may not converse with you while you
eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.
So so you know, I find that more lonely, I
think sometimes and than when he's not there.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I love watching TI. I mean we don't watch kid shows.
We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney, bold ones that
may stop that stopped for us, that's actually happened.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
Yeah. And also it's that moment where you realize that
they are their own person and not not not that
you ever think that they're like possession, but when they're smaller,
they hold hand, You hold hands with them walking across
the road, you hug them, you bath and whatever you do,
and then they get to point O obviously where it's
like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,
(16:23):
can I have a hug? You know, you don't just
go in for the hug? Can I have a hug?
And nine eights out of ten it's like, oh, or
it's a cheek or it's okay, but can you put
some money in on my spriggy? Or are we having sushi?
Can you not cook? I'll give you a hug.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Like it's just real like trade off, and it's that
thing where you go from being the main character in
this story to the driver.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Yeah. Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently.
And as my mum said, as I said, she's here
from the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen. If
he didn't have the life that he had and his
you know, fishing and surfing and sports and school friends
and he just wanted to spend twenty four to seven
(17:07):
with me watching watch, that would also be concerning. So
you know that everything that they're doing touch Wood is
on track for life, but it's not easy as a parent. No,
it's not.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Coming up.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
After this short break, kath shares the moments she misses
and some of the last that you don't realize will
be your last until they're gone.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I'm going to tissue for this text that's next.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
So Kath Mahoney, we've just been talking about the pain
points of parenting teens, and you know, you're with a
son at age sixteen. You've only got two more years
until he's an actual grown up.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Which is just scare We're about to start driving lessons.
It's very scary.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I wanted to sort of reflect and think back for
people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have
what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,
but what they're currently in. Sometimes, you know, at the
end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing
that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,
(18:22):
and it's just like the little things that grete you.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
But when you're coming out the other side, how does it.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the last Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
It's very sad. Fun I mean it's funny.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
You do put your rose colored glasses on.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
You know. I did think about pushing lou on the
swing the other day. I was like, I can't never
do that again. I mean I will, but he would
be a big person on the swing and then I
have to snap out of it and go Remember how
much you hated the park, especially as a solo parent.
You hated that. Why the other day my boobs did
this weird thing.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Did they tingle?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
They tingled? And I was like, oh my gosh, breastfeeding.
I have a breastfeed again. And again I'm like, why
am I missing the soreness? But it's kind of you
don't know it's your last you know, you don't know
it's the last time you're going to breastfeed, if that
was what you chose to do, until it's over. You
don't realize that it's going to be the last time
(19:18):
that they want to hold your hat that they try
to hold turned across the road. So it is. It
is sad. Things like I want to put Cars, the
movie on which was the bane of my life. Now
I want to watch Lightning McQueen, yeah with lou because
we but you know, on the millionths time, you were like,
I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like, I'd
love to just watch Cars, but he won't watch anything anything,
(19:41):
not really No.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day
for me, I love watching TV with my kids.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
Also, what what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,
kind of, it just goes so quickly. And you do
you just those those mornings when they wake you up
at five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait
till you're a teenager and you don't want to get
out of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I
miss that. I miss being the stylist. Oh right, miss
(20:12):
I miss being like in charge of the wardrobe and
the hair. That is really difficult to let go of
because as my mum did not like the way that
I dressed at sixteen, all my hairstyles, I'm feeling the
sort of same a baut Loo.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
I liked when I could put him in his little
navy white stripe, and I like the little sailor. I
liked when I could be like, oh, could we just
have the peaky blinders kind of can we have that
kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool? Now it's
that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's still
hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go. What
(20:47):
do you think you'll miss?
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I remember when you've got two and they're little, so
you've got like a little baby and a toddler and
it's like that witching hour. And I remember like having
anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five o'clock
because I knew it was coming, because you've got to
do the bath and the dinner and then everyone's got
different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But now
(21:10):
I think, oh, just having them like giggling and gurgling
in a bath and playing with little.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Toys, like how delight.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
But at the time it was the most stressful thing
in the universe ever.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
It was horrible. But I'm the same. I miss that
washing the hair, the toys that come on. You've been
in long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing
that you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's
like all going to be smacked down by seven. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
And I even just I loved because I had quite
a lot of time at home with babies and on
Matt leave and I did freelancing, so I was really lucky.
I had a lot of time at home and I loved.
This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe play like I loved,
you know, making up pretend worlds and doing vets and
(22:01):
all of that silly stuff. Well, just even just flying
around toys to music. We used to How to Train
Your Drag Dragon was our cars, and so we had
all the dragon figurines and we put the movie soundtrack
on and just like run around flying.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Dragons like, oh, it's so fun.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
It's hard, isn't it when it goes? And you also
know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,
so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,
you know, again, being the chef, but going like this
is the option. There is no other option. You don't
even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be
eating this, yes, and being asked things Mom, Mom, Like that'snow.
I'm like, there is now anything.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Because they just ask Siri. Yes, they don't need to ask.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
They don't ask us anymore.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Siri is their new parent.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Now. I almost miss the car seat because I thought
he was strapped in the back, and then I thought, no,
I don't miss the car seat, and that sort of point,
whether you're about to break you back, they're getting a
bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,
don't miss the prams.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
No, I definitely don't miss a prem.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to have
a handbag the size of a house with all of
the stuff in. Yeah, do you? I don't miss I've
got it? Are you still on that?
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Oh? I've got a big hambag, but it's mostly full
of like makeup and do I don't like stuff for me?
Speaker 5 (23:15):
Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and nappy.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
White and corn thins.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh, kids parties. I never thought I would miss kids parties.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Oh you do?
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Miss well, I miss the fact that you get to
a point where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah,
so that's you know, you go from I used to
have real trauma around the party and the cake and
what you're doing and the lolli bags, TV, the activities
that was always really stressful. Then you get to a
point where you can do the let's go bowling or
(23:48):
pick four friends or go to the movies, And then
you get to the point where it's like, can you
just put some money on my card? Mom? And Christmas?
That would be my last big miss. Oh no, Christmas changes,
doesn't it when their thoughts around the big Man in
Red Change. I don't know who's listening to this, so
I don't want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah,
(24:08):
Christmas Christmas when they would wake up at five and
you would say, we're not going downstairs to see if
he's been for another two hours now, it would be
about eleven o'clock, relue, And it's my birthday on Christmas,
so I'm a bit like, let's go, what do we got?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.
The greech has taken over.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
Yes, And Lo's good when he's with Dad because they
have he's got a little sister, so he allows the
magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.
But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels, and that that
feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to
watch any Christmas movie in the lead up, or want
(24:53):
to put the tree up, or help with the tree,
or decorate the tree, that I would then redecorate when
he went to bed because it's so bad. Every time
that was crushing as a Christmas person. That's probably that's
probably one of the things I miss the most.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Hallowe. No, you've got how old are youngest? Ten? You've
got You've got a few years because they hang on
for a while because they don't want to admit they're
not sure in case presents do stop.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it. Yeah,
love it. I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
So for anyone listening, if you're waking up at five
am this coming Christmas, just remember kath Mahony will be.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Would love to join it because it's like I just
you get to do it. You forget. You don't realize
that you're going to miss all of these festivities.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about
the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the
egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa, and.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
The tooth fairy. Yeah, when they get between fifty cents
and fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when
the tooth comes out. So yeah, there would be some
of the things I miss.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I hadn't thought about that.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
The rituals. Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of
the bits, yes, even the pushing of the swing in
the park and the prem Yeah, even even knowing that
the stuff in your hair may or may not be
regogated food.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
No, And you didn't eat the joy in the giggles
of the bath. That would be my thing, Like, I
wish I didn't dread that so much. And I just
really like lapped up the magic and the joy of
little babies playing in water, so.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Silly, silly and fun fun because they That's another thing
with teenager. I guess their fun doesn't necessarily involve you anymore.
When they're little and they're joyful and fun, you get
to experience it when they're a bit older. Yeah, you're
not invited to the fun bit. Yeah, because you're not
the main character. Not the main character. You are the
chef or the driver. Yeah, and you also have all this.
(27:06):
What I've noticed about being a parent to a teenager
is you hold on to things, you know, Like if
Lou's upset about a situation about not being picked for
something or sport, I will then have trauma for like
the next week, and then the next time I mentioned it,
he said, I can't have moved on. Yeah, he had
a school dance. He's a bit taller now, but he's
(27:26):
quite little. A couple of years ago he had a
school dance. With it that he's in a same sex school.
They had a school dance and he was quite upset
because some of the girls wouldn't dance with him and
laugh because he was little. Oh, and I mentioned it
the other day because's had a gross spurt now he's
getting quite tall. And I said, I said I would
still if I met those girls, I would end to them.
And Lewis was like, oh, mom, I can't even remember that.
(27:50):
I lie in bed wondering who they were and you've
let it go. Yeah, So I think that's my other
bit of advice. Yet, don't fester on things. They seem
to move through stuff pretty quickly. Teenagers resilience. Resilience that's
a soy resilience and a spriggy card. Spriggy card. Lewis
has learnt now to say when he calls how are you,
(28:10):
how's your day, It's like he's reading it for a card,
like a Telly kind of caller. Can I have some
money in my card? You used to just be can
you put somebody on my spriggy. Now he knows well
enough to ask how I am.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
He's probably got a little script.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
He does he does? I think he also works for
an electricity company. The other answer when those numbers you
don't know, it's probably Lewis. How are you? How's your day?
You put somebody in my speed and try our electricity brand?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Right?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Well, cathermoney, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,
I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about
embracing whatever stage you're at.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Really, I think so andre, realizing that what you might
want is different to what you're actually going to get.
But as I said, I wouldn't want Louis to just
want to be hanging out with his mum at sixteen.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
No.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Well, but now I understand why.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group
of people. But you know, that's just different.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
And now I understand why my mum and my parents
are so insufferable with my kids, because it's like, that's
when you get to live it again.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Yes, grand and they really love the grandparents, don't.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yes, and you and that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable.
And clinging on to them because they know that they
one day also don't want.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
To borrow them. No, no, oh god, so much, so
much sad stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Great, Thank you so much, Catherinhoney, we love you and
thanks for coming on this glorious meis thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oh tee, that was an emotion journey.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah she's so but she's so funny she is, I laugh.
But she got me thinking, Yeah, she could be thinking
about like the last that, Like I didn't really like that.
My kids are only six and seven. You know, it's
not as they're moving out or you know, yeah, but
you don't appreciate them. It's like that song you don't
(30:03):
know what til it's gone. Literally life is a song.
But like I I know that I absolutely wish my
kids baby days away because I had three in a
year and then so I had three babies at one
time and it was a dead set, logistical nightmare.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
So I literally woke up every day going.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I can't wait till they're older, or I can't wait
till they're at school, or I can't wait till they
can walk, I can't wait till they can get them
Pour themselves a cup of jews I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
I would like literally wished away the goo goo gaga.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
But with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about
wishing those moments or that time away? Ah?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Yeah, I do a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
I know that I look at like photos and videos
of when especially the twins, like Lum Banjo too, but
I think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did
get to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
It also it was mayhem.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
But I know that if like I didn't have another
one so close together after having the twins, I would
have probably been a lot more relaxed and soaked it
up a little bit more like you know, having the
twins and then you know, end my time with Banjo
in his time, you know what I mean. I feel
like I definitely wished it away, and I just I
(31:20):
look back at those videos of them, you know, like
when they're just starting to string words together and sentences
and little voice and they're cute little walks, like they're
like wattles and stuff like that. Like I look at
that now and like, I don't know, maybe every mom
does that, though, yes, oh definitely, I cannot look at
a video of my child being a toddler without going yeah,
(31:42):
so maybe it's like, yeah, maybe I'm not as regretful
as I think I am, because you know, you only
you only go into whatever mode you're feeling at the time, right,
which for me was probably utter overwhelm. But even I
look at photos of like my kids twelve months ago
and I'm.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Like, oh, look how tiny they were.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Compared to now, Like, they just grow up. They just
grow up so bloody fast, don't they. Yeah, And it's
true what they say that the days are long, but
the years are short, and that flyby is my dead
set motto. They are because my days was so long
and they're just as long now, but the years are
(32:19):
getting shorter and shorter and shorter.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I think everyone would agree.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Well, thank you so much for listening to this glorious mess.
We hope you enjoyed the episode, and if you did,
we'd love it if you left a rating and a review.
This episode was produced by Tina Madalov with audio production
by Jacob Brown.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
So yeah, I'll see you next time.
You're listening to another Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
have recorded this podcast on the Gatagoul people of the
Eur Nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
Torres Rate Islander cultures. Hi, it's Annalise Todd dropping into
your feed, host of Mamma MEA's parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess.
(00:48):
I wanted to share an episode with you because we
had Kath Mahoney come and visit us recently. She is
the host of Mamma MEA's four five.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Six Club podcast, and she talked about the hilarious, unfiltered
experience of the teenage years, from the endless food bills
to the impossible wake up mornings, and also some of
the sadness and the unexpected melancholy of the parenting moments
that you don't realize will be last. So I hope
(01:18):
you enjoy Hello and welcome to this Glorious Mess. We're
embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Anly's Todd
and help I have a teenager. My eldest just turned thirteen.
Send thoughts and press. Wow, Oh my gosh, it's happening.
(01:40):
I know, I'm teaking a tolly and I had three
kids in a year, so they're now six and seven.
And I'm so scared for you, because I don't know
what's worse, like three toddlers all at once or when
I have three teens all at once. I think three teenagers. Oh,
because it goes for longer. It's so true, especially when
(02:04):
they're like three of them spaced out of yet.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
And today on the show, we're bringing in a friend, writer,
comedian and host of Muma Meres four five six Club podcast,
Catherine Mahoney. She's a few years down the track than us,
as her son Lewis just turned six, so she's going
to be our oracle into the future and scare us
by sharing the pain points of her current stage of parenting.
(02:29):
And we're also going to be touching on the things
you don't realize you will miss about parenting until they're gone. Yes,
all those little irritating, challenging things that you might currently
loathe one day soon you'll actually might miss them, yep,
And how you never quite know when things will be.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Your last you know, the last last, get me and
the first and then all the last.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I think the lasts are so much sad because the
first exciting, and it's like they've achieved something. It's likest
is like and usually you don't realize it in that moment.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
It's like you know, or you know the other day, I'm.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Like, I can't carry you guys to bed anymore, You're
too heavy.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
I know, I still end up doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
I wish it was the bloody last that is coming
up very soon our chat with Kath and I cannot wait.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Oh, I cannot wait too.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. So
I came across.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
A TikTok this week. Oh you love a tip?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Well, you've really got me into the cheek talking well
do you?
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Anyway?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
It's a well known actor Kira Kasara, and she shared
a TikTok hack on how to solve this dilemma and
save arguing. Oh okay, well now I'm in yes, So like,
are you are You're a decisive person?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Aren't you analie?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Mostly?
Speaker 5 (03:50):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (03:51):
How about in relationships? You know, like when it's like, oh,
what do you feel like for dinner? Oh? No, I
am one trillion percent decis Yeah, you'd be like, I
absolutely need to eat this.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Yes. Yeah. So this hack is like a marriage hack
that saves arguments. So basically it's bringing in.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
It's called the fifty to fifty marriage hack, and it's
all about the percentage of what you want to do
and then your partner's percentage of where they're at. And
that's like your negotiation percentage rates. Let me give you
a I've got.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yes, I can see the.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I need pins and strings of your life.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Example, I'm your boyfriend, I have my friend had I
walk in and we're going to go out for dinner.
All right, what are you leaning towards? What do you
feel like to eat for dinner? I feel like Indian
ninety percent? Okay, and tie ten percent. Oh that's really
uncomfortable for me because I don't like Indian food, but
because I know you want it so badly ninety percent,
(04:49):
Like that's a pretty high percentage. I might have been like, oh, look,
I only wanted Indian fifty percent. I could have done
tie fifty percent, but you know what, because you are
like ninety percent wanting your Indian food, Yes, we'll go
with Indian tonight, right, So it's about putting a compromising
It's like it's like putting your cards on the table
(05:10):
in terms of like no, this matters like this much
to me, and this doesn't really matter as much to me,
and then the other person can go, okay, well I
could see the that really matters to you and this
doesn't really matter to me, so let's meet here.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
So it's like a communication compromise tool.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
It is like compromise negotiation, meet in the middle, and
you can see it for anything anything like yes, whether
to go out on a Saturday, like yeah, do you
want to stay in or go out? Like how much
do you want to go out on? Like twenty percent
go out? And it's like, oh, but you know, I'm
like eighty percent want to go out. Okay, well I
can find another thirty percent and meet you there. Because
(05:51):
when you're making decisions, it's so easy to be indecisive
with language, so you don't really know where the other
person's coming from. And often like sometimes and you're like, oh,
I don't know, you do know, but you just don't
like you don't want to say it, or you're not
sure which one. But if you put your two options
like you're both picking two options at whatever percentage you want,
(06:12):
and then the other person brings their two options with
their percentages that they want, and then you together can
come up with a little and an equally decided decision.
I'm going to use this tactic and totally this is
my second favorite thing you've ever brought to job that
what was the first? The karaoke where there was women
fighting over the last time, that was my first favorite.
(06:35):
Sorry all you're going to say with my David, Oh yeah,
that's probably now third. Okay, So, Annalisea, you caught up
with your mate recently, the very funny comedian and author
Kath Mahoney, and she wanted to frighten you about having
(06:56):
a teenager. Well, you've already frightened me about you having
a teenager, and also frighten us about what you now
can expect now that you've got one. Her son, Lewis,
has just turned sixteen, and I can't wait to hear
what she had to say. Kath Mahoney, Hi, welcome to
this glorious mess. I've brought you in today because help
(07:21):
I have a teenager.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
Congratulations, Thank you so both made it this far. I
know just but.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
It's my first and so I'm scared.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
And of course we've all been absolutely terrified by the
Netflix series Adolescence. Oh, I know, it couldn't be a
scarier time, literally to have a teenager. So you're a
few years down the track, Lewis is sixteen.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Yeah, just turned sixteen. My freak out because I keep
reverting to what I was doing at sixteen.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh gosh, I'm like, no, dying in a field.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
No, it's literally literally in a jumpsuit catsuit situation that
never looked very good. That's probably too short in the lag,
dancing to rave music. Luckily, I think he won't be
doing that.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
No, definitely not in a cat suit.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
No, but you'd totally fine, be totally fine.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Yeah, it's it's just strange, strange time.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Do you know why I was thinking this morning?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I still feel like a teenager, so it doesn't feel
right that I have one.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
As they get older, you realize more and more and
more how your parents were winging it. Like you look
to your parents when you're a kid and you were like,
they know everything. And now I have a sixteen year
old and I'm fifty, I still go, I know nothing.
What does reddits say about that. Let's get on Google.
Let's call a friend.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
I don't know I have called a friend. Yeah, So like,
what a what am I walking into here? What do
I need to expect? Look out for?
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Look? I think they all you know you have a boy.
I have a boy. I have friends who've got daughters,
and I go, oh, glad, I've got the boy. I mean,
I think I feel very lucky that Lewis is a
delicious kid, Like he really is a good young man.
But you know, stuff happens, and it is and it
is as you're told. Suddenly you literally feel like the
(09:09):
uber chef money provider. Yeah, I mean, I mean, where
can I start? The fridge? So I'm a solo parent
like you. It's just me and lou or me, So
I kind of know what I've put in the fridge
will be there tomorrow. So if I overcook for dinner,
that's fine. I can have that for lunch or send
it off for louse school. Except teenagers do things like
(09:30):
when you go to bed, they just go back to
the fridge. He's sort of like a I don't know,
He's like a swarm of locusts through my fridge. Nothing
stays there so you've got food ahead of you got
really long showers? Good? Not good? If they indicate what
some other friends with older boys have said, they indicate right,
(09:53):
What else can I tell?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Food bill?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Water bill?
Speaker 5 (09:56):
Food bill is ridiculous? Also, I want to go to
sleep now about nine o'clock. I would rather, like, I
would rather wake up at sort of five thirty or
six in the morning and be asleep for nine. Lewis
I have to like pitchfork him out of bed in
the morning. But he's still wide awake late into the night.
So we are definitely on a different trajectory when it
(10:18):
comes to sleep time.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Can you tell them to go to sleep? Still have
juris junctions?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
No, you don't have a lot. You don't have the
power that you used to have when they were little. Sadly, yeah, no,
you don't have really any control.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
When I look at the difference between like my girlfriends
who have daughters going through this, I think for girls
it's it's the emotions, a lot of emotions. And my
favorite story is, like my girlfriend the other day, she
was like, oh, we've both got our period. We're in sync.
My poor husband. Do people having their period at the
same time?
Speaker 5 (10:53):
My girl's friend has been just in that situation whereas
Lewis and I are his teenage hormones, and I was like, perimenopause. Oh,
that's so that was hard. That was like he didn't
know what was going on with his body or his emotions.
I didn't know what was going on with my body
or emotions. At least I'm on the HRT. No, Paul
louis just having to push through. But we did. We
(11:14):
had the big discussion. You know, you're going through all
of these changes, so is mum. So if you do
not on the fourth time, I ask you to take
the Apple and Chris packets from the corner of the
room because it's not actually dedicated. Ben, you don't do
it on the fourth time, I will turn out like
the Banshee from Ghostbusters.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
We had parenting Guru Jen Muir on the show a
while ago, and I remember she said to me, She's like,
the thing with teenage boys is it's and I know
this isn't scientific, but it's almost like the hormones that
they're experiencing sort of crumples their frontal lobe, so their
actual function is less than it used to be, and
(11:54):
so they could literally walk past a pair of shoes
and say, where are my shoes. It's like they don't
see things anymore. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
It's really frustrating. I can have like bags of rubbish
by the front door and Lewis will step over them.
Like we're on the fourth floor of an Art deco building.
No lift, so you'll fill like a sherpa going up
and down. So it's like, if we're going, let's make
a job of it. He'll walk over that stuff. The towel.
The towel I've trained him to understand won't dry on
(12:23):
the floor, So that's been a really big shift for him. Yeah,
binsin bin's irrelevant. I started to notice things out near
the bins outside our block and lu said, I just
sometimes I'm just try and throw the apple call. I'm like, Lewis,
you know, come on, So bins are terrible, food is terrible,
(12:46):
Homework is a bit of a chore.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Did that start out well?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Because I feel like we're starting out well, yeah, you
start out well, Everything starts out well.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
You're in the honeymoon period. You really are, you really are.
And there's this kind of smell that they have. You
probably haven't hit smell yet where they just it must
just be hormones. I've checked with friends who've got older
sons and they're like, there's just a smell about them.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Although if they showered oder eyes.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
Showering, there's just like a smell. Although sometimes I will
catch Lewis just putting his deodrint like over his jumper.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh god, that we.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Need to we need to go into the armpit situation.
It's not going to help if it's just on your jumper. Yeah,
they're a joy. They also don't want you to talk
to them, so that lovely sort of two way conversation
that you have stops and only resumes if they want
to chat, so out of nowhere, they'll ask you something
(13:42):
and it will be quite a deep conversation. It's usually
in the car for me and I side by side,
the face to face, and you're like, I'm back in
a real person, let's have a conversation, you know. And
then other times, like on the weekend we went down
the coast to spend some time with my folks who
are here from the UK, and Lewis like, I'm so
(14:02):
excited we're all going to be together as a family,
and then he got in the car and for the
next hour and half put his ear pods in, sat
in the front with Mete.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I just was like, right, he's a great time. He's
usually much better, I promise, But.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
This is all normal. Apparently this is all normal. And
I have to say, you know, so far touched woods.
He's a pretty good kid.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
One of the things that I've heard is that can
be really tricky for people. And I think it was
different for you and I because we had the solo
parenting experience, so we had independence already. But it's that
it's that real letting go. And if you don't have
something else in your life other than your children and
they are your entire focus because they are pulling away
(14:45):
from you, that can be so tricky because then you're
a bit like, oh, what do I do now.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
It's a funny thing, you know, I lou he was
five when my ex husband and I split up. So
for the last almost well eleven years now, we've never
we haven't been together all the time, so you do
get used to that. What I was talking to another
friend who's a solo parent with it with teenage kids
was as they get older, having them in the house
(15:13):
can feel more lonely because when they're not there, you're
out and about doing your own thing. When they are there,
they're still at an age where you have to be there,
cook the dinner, make sure they are doing the homework,
eventually going to bed. You know, you can't be out gallivanting.
You're still a parent, but they want zero to do
with you. So it's like you have gone at the
times where you're like, should we watch a show together?
(15:35):
Totally gone, no, So you literally will make the food.
They may or may not converse with you while you
eat the food together. Then they're in the bedroom. That's it.
So so you know, I find that more lonely, I
think sometimes and than when he's not there.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I love watching TI. I mean we don't watch kid shows.
We watch like Real Housewives of Sydney, bold ones that
may stop that stopped for us, that's actually happened.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
Yeah. And also it's that moment where you realize that
they are their own person and not not not that
you ever think that they're like possession, but when they're smaller,
they hold hand, You hold hands with them walking across
the road, you hug them, you bath and whatever you do,
and then they get to point O obviously where it's
like it's their personal space, you know. So now I'm like,
(16:23):
can I have a hug? You know, you don't just
go in for the hug? Can I have a hug?
And nine eights out of ten it's like, oh, or
it's a cheek or it's okay, but can you put
some money in on my spriggy? Or are we having sushi?
Can you not cook? I'll give you a hug.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Like it's just real like trade off, and it's that
thing where you go from being the main character in
this story to the driver.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Yeah. Literally, but I think it comes back round apparently.
And as my mum said, as I said, she's here
from the UK, we're talking about it at sixteen. If
he didn't have the life that he had and his
you know, fishing and surfing and sports and school friends
and he just wanted to spend twenty four to seven
(17:07):
with me watching watch, that would also be concerning. So
you know that everything that they're doing touch Wood is
on track for life, but it's not easy as a parent. No,
it's not.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Coming up.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
After this short break, kath shares the moments she misses
and some of the last that you don't realize will
be your last until they're gone.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I'm going to tissue for this text that's next.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
So Kath Mahoney, we've just been talking about the pain
points of parenting teens, and you know, you're with a
son at age sixteen. You've only got two more years
until he's an actual grown up.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Which is just scare We're about to start driving lessons.
It's very scary.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I wanted to sort of reflect and think back for
people who are listening, they're in the trenches. They have
what we're experiencing and going through to look forward to,
but what they're currently in. Sometimes, you know, at the
end of the day, you're like, oh, I've been pushing
that kid on the swing for fifty hours this week,
(18:22):
and it's just like the little things that grete you.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
But when you're coming out the other side, how does it.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Feel looking back retrospectively that that was like the last Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
It's very sad. Fun I mean it's funny.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
You do put your rose colored glasses on.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
You know. I did think about pushing lou on the
swing the other day. I was like, I can't never
do that again. I mean I will, but he would
be a big person on the swing and then I
have to snap out of it and go Remember how
much you hated the park, especially as a solo parent.
You hated that. Why the other day my boobs did
this weird thing.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Did they tingle?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
They tingled? And I was like, oh my gosh, breastfeeding.
I have a breastfeed again. And again I'm like, why
am I missing the soreness? But it's kind of you
don't know it's your last you know, you don't know
it's the last time you're going to breastfeed, if that
was what you chose to do, until it's over. You
don't realize that it's going to be the last time
(19:18):
that they want to hold your hat that they try
to hold turned across the road. So it is. It
is sad. Things like I want to put Cars, the
movie on which was the bane of my life. Now
I want to watch Lightning McQueen, yeah with lou because
we but you know, on the millionths time, you were like,
I can't watch this anymore. But now I'm like, I'd
love to just watch Cars, but he won't watch anything anything,
(19:41):
not really No.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's I honestly like, this will be a dark day
for me, I love watching TV with my kids.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
Also, what what do I miss? I miss the baby smell? Yes,
kind of, it just goes so quickly. And you do
you just those those mornings when they wake you up
at five in the morning, You're like, I cannot wait
till you're a teenager and you don't want to get
out of bed. Yeah, and yet now I think I
miss that. I miss being the stylist. Oh right, miss
(20:12):
I miss being like in charge of the wardrobe and
the hair. That is really difficult to let go of
because as my mum did not like the way that
I dressed at sixteen, all my hairstyles, I'm feeling the
sort of same a baut Loo.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
I liked when I could put him in his little
navy white stripe, and I like the little sailor. I
liked when I could be like, oh, could we just
have the peaky blinders kind of can we have that
kind of nineteen twenties undercut that's really cool? Now it's
that horrible kind of straight line mullet thing that's still
hanging around like a bad smell. Let that go. What
(20:47):
do you think you'll miss?
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I remember when you've got two and they're little, so
you've got like a little baby and a toddler and
it's like that witching hour. And I remember like having
anxiety leading up to like four point thirty five o'clock
because I knew it was coming, because you've got to
do the bath and the dinner and then everyone's got
different schedules and feeding and everyone's just cranky. But now
(21:10):
I think, oh, just having them like giggling and gurgling
in a bath and playing with little.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Toys, like how delight.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
But at the time it was the most stressful thing
in the universe ever.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
It was horrible. But I'm the same. I miss that
washing the hair, the toys that come on. You've been
in long enough, let's get out, and exactly that knowing
that you're on that kind of bedtime role where it's
like all going to be smacked down by seven. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
And I even just I loved because I had quite
a lot of time at home with babies and on
Matt leave and I did freelancing, so I was really lucky.
I had a lot of time at home and I loved.
This sounds ridiculous, but just make believe play like I loved,
you know, making up pretend worlds and doing vets and
(22:01):
all of that silly stuff. Well, just even just flying
around toys to music. We used to How to Train
Your Drag Dragon was our cars, and so we had
all the dragon figurines and we put the movie soundtrack
on and just like run around flying.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Dragons like, oh, it's so fun.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
It's hard, isn't it when it goes? And you also
know what's in the fridge because they can't reach the fridge. Yes,
so that was I do miss that, and they miss being,
you know, again, being the chef, but going like this
is the option. There is no other option. You don't
even know. You don't like this yet, so you'll be
eating this, yes, and being asked things Mom, Mom, Like that'snow.
I'm like, there is now anything.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Because they just ask Siri. Yes, they don't need to ask.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
They don't ask us anymore.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Siri is their new parent.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Now. I almost miss the car seat because I thought
he was strapped in the back, and then I thought, no,
I don't miss the car seat, and that sort of point,
whether you're about to break you back, they're getting a
bit too heavy to put them in the car seat. Yes,
don't miss the prams.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
No, I definitely don't miss a prem.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Don't miss nappy changing. No, don't miss having to have
a handbag the size of a house with all of
the stuff in. Yeah, do you? I don't miss I've
got it? Are you still on that?
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Oh? I've got a big hambag, but it's mostly full
of like makeup and do I don't like stuff for me?
Speaker 5 (23:15):
Your stuff exactly much better than raisins and tissues and nappy.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
White and corn thins.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh, kids parties. I never thought I would miss kids parties.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Oh you do?
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Miss well, I miss the fact that you get to
a point where you're not even included in the birthday. Yeah,
so that's you know, you go from I used to
have real trauma around the party and the cake and
what you're doing and the lolli bags, TV, the activities
that was always really stressful. Then you get to a
point where you can do the let's go bowling or
(23:48):
pick four friends or go to the movies, And then
you get to the point where it's like, can you
just put some money on my card? Mom? And Christmas?
That would be my last big miss. Oh no, Christmas changes,
doesn't it when their thoughts around the big Man in
Red Change. I don't know who's listening to this, so
I don't want any spoiler alerts around Santa. But yeah,
(24:08):
Christmas Christmas when they would wake up at five and
you would say, we're not going downstairs to see if
he's been for another two hours now, it would be
about eleven o'clock, relue, And it's my birthday on Christmas,
so I'm a bit like, let's go, what do we got?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
No, that's half the day. The magic of Christmas is gone.
The greech has taken over.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
Yes, And Lo's good when he's with Dad because they
have he's got a little sister, so he allows the
magic when he's you know, he's if it's a dad Christmas.
But at mine, yeah, zero Christmas feels, and that that
feeling when he would when he officially stopped wanting to
watch any Christmas movie in the lead up, or want
(24:53):
to put the tree up, or help with the tree,
or decorate the tree, that I would then redecorate when
he went to bed because it's so bad. Every time
that was crushing as a Christmas person. That's probably that's
probably one of the things I miss the most.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I cannot believe that Christmas will be dead soon.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Hallowe. No, you've got how old are youngest? Ten? You've
got You've got a few years because they hang on
for a while because they don't want to admit they're
not sure in case presents do stop.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Oh no, we're definitely beyond the fantasy of Christmas.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Okay, but they're still so easy to fall into it. Yeah,
love it. I enjoy that, Yes, enjoy that.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
So for anyone listening, if you're waking up at five
am this coming Christmas, just remember kath Mahony will be.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Would love to join it because it's like I just
you get to do it. You forget. You don't realize
that you're going to miss all of these festivities.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
So it's the rituals. Yes, I hadn't really thought about
the rituals. It's like, yeah, the trick or treating, the
egg hunting, they're putting out the little carrots for Santa, and.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
The tooth fairy. Yeah, when they get between fifty cents
and fifty dollars depending on what you've got, and when
the tooth comes out. So yeah, there would be some
of the things I miss.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I hadn't thought about that.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
The rituals. Maybe maybe the upside is enjoy all of
the bits, yes, even the pushing of the swing in
the park and the prem Yeah, even even knowing that
the stuff in your hair may or may not be
regogated food.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
No, And you didn't eat the joy in the giggles
of the bath. That would be my thing, Like, I
wish I didn't dread that so much. And I just
really like lapped up the magic and the joy of
little babies playing in water, so.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Silly, silly and fun fun because they That's another thing
with teenager. I guess their fun doesn't necessarily involve you anymore.
When they're little and they're joyful and fun, you get
to experience it when they're a bit older. Yeah, you're
not invited to the fun bit. Yeah, because you're not
the main character. Not the main character. You are the
chef or the driver. Yeah, and you also have all this.
(27:06):
What I've noticed about being a parent to a teenager
is you hold on to things, you know, Like if
Lou's upset about a situation about not being picked for
something or sport, I will then have trauma for like
the next week, and then the next time I mentioned it,
he said, I can't have moved on. Yeah, he had
a school dance. He's a bit taller now, but he's
(27:26):
quite little. A couple of years ago he had a
school dance. With it that he's in a same sex school.
They had a school dance and he was quite upset
because some of the girls wouldn't dance with him and
laugh because he was little. Oh, and I mentioned it
the other day because's had a gross spurt now he's
getting quite tall. And I said, I said I would
still if I met those girls, I would end to them.
And Lewis was like, oh, mom, I can't even remember that.
(27:50):
I lie in bed wondering who they were and you've
let it go. Yeah, So I think that's my other
bit of advice. Yet, don't fester on things. They seem
to move through stuff pretty quickly. Teenagers resilience. Resilience that's
a soy resilience and a spriggy card. Spriggy card. Lewis
has learnt now to say when he calls how are you,
(28:10):
how's your day, It's like he's reading it for a card,
like a Telly kind of caller. Can I have some
money in my card? You used to just be can
you put somebody on my spriggy. Now he knows well
enough to ask how I am.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
He's probably got a little script.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
He does he does? I think he also works for
an electricity company. The other answer when those numbers you
don't know, it's probably Lewis. How are you? How's your day?
You put somebody in my speed and try our electricity brand?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Right?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Well, cathermoney, thank you so much. I don't feel terrified. No,
I thought i'd feel terrified. I think it's just about
embracing whatever stage you're at.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Really, I think so andre, realizing that what you might
want is different to what you're actually going to get.
But as I said, I wouldn't want Louis to just
want to be hanging out with his mum at sixteen.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
No.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Well, but now I understand why.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Right, I'd like him to acknowledge me in a group
of people. But you know, that's just different.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
And now I understand why my mum and my parents
are so insufferable with my kids, because it's like, that's
when you get to live it again.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Yes, grand and they really love the grandparents, don't.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yes, and you and that's why they're so obsessed and insufferable.
And clinging on to them because they know that they
one day also don't want.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
To borrow them. No, no, oh god, so much, so
much sad stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Great, Thank you so much, Catherinhoney, we love you and
thanks for coming on this glorious meis thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oh tee, that was an emotion journey.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah she's so but she's so funny she is, I laugh.
But she got me thinking, Yeah, she could be thinking
about like the last that, Like I didn't really like that.
My kids are only six and seven. You know, it's
not as they're moving out or you know, yeah, but
you don't appreciate them. It's like that song you don't
(30:03):
know what til it's gone. Literally life is a song.
But like I I know that I absolutely wish my
kids baby days away because I had three in a
year and then so I had three babies at one
time and it was a dead set, logistical nightmare.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
So I literally woke up every day going.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I can't wait till they're older, or I can't wait
till they're at school, or I can't wait till they
can walk, I can't wait till they can get them
Pour themselves a cup of jews I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
I would like literally wished away the goo goo gaga.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
But with hindsight, now, do you have any regrets about
wishing those moments or that time away? Ah?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Yeah, I do a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
I know that I look at like photos and videos
of when especially the twins, like Lum Banjo too, but
I think I didn't get to enjoy Well, I did
get to enjoy it, because I did enjoy it, but.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
It also it was mayhem.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
But I know that if like I didn't have another
one so close together after having the twins, I would
have probably been a lot more relaxed and soaked it
up a little bit more like you know, having the
twins and then you know, end my time with Banjo
in his time, you know what I mean. I feel
like I definitely wished it away, and I just I
(31:20):
look back at those videos of them, you know, like
when they're just starting to string words together and sentences
and little voice and they're cute little walks, like they're
like wattles and stuff like that. Like I look at
that now and like, I don't know, maybe every mom
does that, though, yes, oh definitely, I cannot look at
a video of my child being a toddler without going yeah,
(31:42):
so maybe it's like, yeah, maybe I'm not as regretful
as I think I am, because you know, you only
you only go into whatever mode you're feeling at the time, right,
which for me was probably utter overwhelm. But even I
look at photos of like my kids twelve months ago
and I'm.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Like, oh, look how tiny they were.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Compared to now, Like, they just grow up. They just
grow up so bloody fast, don't they. Yeah, And it's
true what they say that the days are long, but
the years are short, and that flyby is my dead
set motto. They are because my days was so long
and they're just as long now, but the years are
(32:19):
getting shorter and shorter and shorter.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I think everyone would agree.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Well, thank you so much for listening to this glorious mess.
We hope you enjoyed the episode, and if you did,
we'd love it if you left a rating and a review.
This episode was produced by Tina Madalov with audio production
by Jacob Brown.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
So yeah, I'll see you next time.
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