January 5, 2025 • 20 mins
Today's Parents Anonymous dives into another three deliciously embarrassing confessions: a baby locked in the car sparks a lasting daycare shame, one parent confesses to dodging one-on-one time with their child, and childproofing materials prove smarter than the adults trying to navigate them.
You can share your best worst parenting stories by leaving us a voice note, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au or for super shame super anonymous you can pop them in this form.
Listen to more "This Glorious Mess" HERE
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CREDITS:
Host: Annaliese Todd & Stacey Hicks
Producer: Grace Rouvray
Audio Producer: Lu Hill
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to another mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the
Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
torres Rate Islander cultures.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hi, it's Anal's Todd here from This Glorious Mess, introducing
Hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across
the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos
and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather
warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share.
(01:03):
Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You
share your deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks
rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,
so really you can't lose. And if you want more,
there's a link in the show Enjoy Parents Anonymous. Welcome
(01:29):
to This Glorious Mess. I'm Annealie Todd, single parent, self
confessed hot mess and happily learning on the job that
is parenting.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
And I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mumma Mia,
and I'm much more alive and much less filled. It's
not than I was last time.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
So it's looking good, which selfishly, I am very grateful.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm so sorry for putting you through that. Thanks for
putting up with me. This is our favorite time of
week where you let out all of your parenting confessions
in our very silly version of group therapy.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
This is Parents Anonymous, where you share your story and
get the guilt off your chest. And it's just a
way to release the shame and the guilt. And I've
got some shame and guilt to release for you, sweet Stacy.
And then we give you points based on our very
serious and very scientific grading system, which is.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Really not scientific at all. We just grade you how
we're feeling at the time.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
It's a vibe check and we're all in this together.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
So first off, every episode we confess something that we've done,
just to make sure it's a safe space. We're not
sitting up on our high horse. No, So what's yours
this week?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's dangerous not giving single parents a good name.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh and I am.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And it's just it's like, oh, that single mum's house,
you know, it's giving that so I had some friends over,
and the children had their friends over. And I have
a little rooftop, little private, very chic, very secret life
of us rooftop nice for some, I know, thank you
so much, tiny townhouse, but the rooftop is the selling point.
(03:01):
And so the children were on the rooftop and this
is three stories high, and there's a little ledge all
the way around a rooftop, as one would suspect and
need given it three stories high. And I was downstairs
working on the ground level, and one of the children
ran outside and looked up and started conversing with a
child where there is no rooftop but just another landing
(03:25):
of just a flat piece of metal that is not
part of the enclosed rooftop. So I ran up and
the kids had jumped over the edge of the balcony
and were just running around free range, three stories in
the sky with no barricade, and I died and screamed.
(03:46):
I had to actually send a little group chat message
to my friend saying, please, can you talk to your
children about not climbing over the rooftop barrier and running
around in open space three stories high. I did tell
them off. Full disclosure.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Sometimes they do things that you don't think it's necessary
to tell them is not a good idea, and then
they just do it anyway. So I feel like this
isn't on you.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I blame YouTube game show giving jackass. That's what it's
giving exactly, And I would like to blame external influencers
that are not myself. It's fine, but I did endanger
the lives of other people's to it, not my own.
My kids knew not to do it. It's just sett of
humble brag in there. Yes, the genius kids didn't do
it because they're probably scared of the wrath of me.
(04:33):
But the other people's children did put their lives in
danger and it was a little bit scary.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Yeah, that is a little bit scary, but nothing bad happened,
so we're okay.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Thank goodness, it's okay.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Well, my little confession this week look not one of
my best parenting performances. But my daughter thinks sleep is
for the week, and so she does this fun little
thing sometimes, particularly when mummies stayed up and scrolled on
TikTok for too long, those are the nights she chooses.
She somehow knows to then wake up from about one
until about four.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That is so annoying.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I love her.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
She's not self sufficient. It's not like she's off playing
tea sets on her own.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
She's she's three, and it's all about that Mummy needs
to be in with her doing whatever she's decided acting
or like no not well one minute yes and one
minute no. She just decides on the vibe. But it
got to about the two hour mark and I was
just sick of it, and she won't let me leave
the room. So I made up the excuse, mummy's just
(05:28):
got a wee. I'm just gonna wea. I'll be right back.
But instead I went an ate grated cheese straight from
the packet in the lounge room because I was at
that point.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You mean, my sustenance at that time.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I did. I did. I was not prepared to be
up for two hours into three hours in the middle
of the night.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Maybe shnak, yeah, look could have been worse. It's fine.
Could have been a vodka.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Well what I felt like, that's probably what I would
have done, ye little medicinal red.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Yes, yes, that would have been nice. Avoided that, So
I'm gonna take it as a wind.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Compared to me and endangering the lives of minus yours
is a very minor. Mine's quite pathetic now, but anyway,
moving on now, this show doesn't exist without your guilty confessions,
and as you can hear, we express ours. Sometimes they're
worse than others. I was pretty bad this week. I'll
step up my game next week. Thank you so much
to do something more danger I will do something horrible,
(06:18):
do better, and by better I mean worse. But we
would love you to leave us a voice note, or
if you want to be fully anonymous, you can email
us and we'll even read them out for you, so
it will not be your voice. We will not use
your name. No one will ever know it's you. Thank you,
and keep sharing because they bring us so much joy
in our otherwise bleak lives they do. All the links
(06:41):
and how you can send us your stories are in
the show notes for all your confession options, and on
today's show, the three new confessions that we have not
heard yed are called Babies, home Improvement Right, Actual Emergency Services, requiet,
Oh this is new, and home Alone. I do love
that movie. An All right, let's go.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
My son has just started what feels like a deep
obsession with the inside of cupboards. He calls to anything
with a door and tries to open it to either
get in or pull everything out. It's way earlier than
I thought this stuff would happen, and feel completely underprepared,
and also like a parent who has not childproofed anything,
(07:23):
literally nothing. It's like I blinked, and now he's crawling.
So I got a handyman to install a bunch of
child safety devices on cupboards, doors, and drawers. They are
so good that I cannot even get into them. So
now I don't latch them up and I just leave
them open, so I may as well have not got
them in the first place. So embarrassing. Ah. Look, I
(07:48):
never did the childproofing thing for this exact reason, because
when I went to other people's houses that had kids,
I was one of the last ones in my group
to have kids. I would have that thing of being like, sorry,
how do I open our fridge or how do I
open your cupboard? I really think it's more just you know,
you move the knifes up high and everything else. It's
a learning exercise for them.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
It is one of the most annoying phases one hundred
percent the cupboard phase and also they jam their fingers
in the cupboard. Yeah, it's not even about the mess
or the danger, it's just annoying. Do you know what
I did for this age and stage? And this is
for me, who's quite useless. I think this is quite level.
I had one cupboard that was all just plastic tupperware
(08:31):
kid's plates, and that was the lowest and that was
the one that they had the access to. That was
the pulling out things cupboard. And it was always messy, disorganized.
It always was covered in like dog hair or human
hair because it was all over the ground. And then
it was shoved in at the end of the day.
And that was the things cupboard. And that's how I
got through that phase.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
That was one of our activities that got us through,
you know, in the depths where you're counting down to
the next nap, when they're in that thinking.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
More until like four o'clock.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Wine that too, but when you're like, okay, we've got
forty five minutes left on this wake window, which I
was such a psycho with that stuff. But then I
would be like, what else can we do? And one
of the things I would let her do. Granted I
had my baby in lockdown. So spare thought for me
was that she would play in the tupperwar draw for
(09:20):
about it. So you've just got to let them play
with these things, to be honest, that's the stuff they
like more than toys. So really this is a cost
saving exercise for you. The fact that you can't get
these cupboards closed is going to benefit you in the
long run. Couse, he lives times. Just entertain them with a.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Little any weight or two, it's fine. I'd like to
bring up that back in our day, or more accurately
for your day. No, our parent no, I had little
baby closy things that I sort of stuck around and
then never used. As well, our parents didn't use them,
and we managed to survive. I think as long as
there's like no access to harmful chemicals or steak knives,
(09:59):
yeah you're winning. It's everything else is kind of like whatever, Yeah,
it's fine, So what are we rating this one? Then
it's very mild, it's very inoffensive. I think points come
off for the wasted money of the handyman, because you
could have just popped off to Bunnings and stuck them
on yourself and then knock those and that would have
been cheaper.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Look, that part's embarrassing. I'm not gonna lie to it is.
But you're among friends. I do this too.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
That was that was an unnecessary outsourced cost. Yeah, I
think I'm going to give them six little cups of
poison out of ten.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I ended up just doing a big old baby gate
that was so ugly, but a retractable one though, that
went across.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Our trip over every time that you walked in and out.
I did, accai.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I'm a very tall person and stepped over at one
time and tripped over onto the floor and winded myself.
So I'm giving you eight baby gates out of ten.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
All right, moving on the next one, Stace, what have
we got actual emergency services required? I am the worst
parent in the world.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I could give you a close run.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Few months we've all thought that obviously, Oh I leave
my baby in the car when I pick up my
toddler from daycare. Oh god, it's too hard to wrangle
them both, and it's a two minute in and out.
But this time I locked them in the car, and
(11:38):
then I was the mom having the full blown meltdown
in the car park, had to get an emergency locksmith.
And now I don't leave my baby in the car. Ever,
does she mean.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
She locked them both in the car? Somehow that's less
bad yes, than just a baby than just the Somehow,
I don't know. Somehow endangering both your children is less
bad for the optics with the other daycare parents because
it doesn't look like you left your baby alone. You
just it was a little miss.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It looked more like an accident than if you just
locked the baby. Then they would know that that was intentional.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Look, I can see why you do this, because getting
a baby in and out of a car.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Seat is the most annoying thing.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I don't know why we don't have the ones like
in America where they swivel and so you can just
get them in and out really easily.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
You've got to bend over and crunch it out, and
they cry, and then.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
When you've got a toddler who's checking a tantrum when
you're on the way out. I totally understand why you've
done it. And it is literally a quick in and out.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Although I would like to state legally that it is
illegal to leave your baby in a car, so just
I just want illegal.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
To jaywalk too. But we're all doing it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
We're not recommending that you leave baby vocating animals, you
know as well, just a little cheeky caveat Okay, all right,
legalities you with the rules today.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Yes, not advocating for it. But everyone does it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Well, everyone's done it at least once. Yes, definitely yes
see see. But I think that this was a good
learning This was a learning tool for this person because
now they don't do it anymore. That's why I'm an
advocate for public shame, because when we have moments of
public shame, which I'm assuming this was a pretty big one. Yeah,
(13:33):
then we don't do it again.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, no, how I'm done. They're obviously fine, You're obviously
a great mum. You snapped into actually did the right thing.
So we're giving you seven car keys out of ten.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I'm going to give you because this is pretty bad.
So it's like we're rating it as so we're rating
it really high or really low because it's pretty bad. Okay, okay.
And for the fact that you told us about it, Yeah,
I love you for telling us. And the fact that
the daycare people will definitely would have been judging you.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
They would have been a group chat going around.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
And the early educators as well as the other parents
could have very much been judging this. So for that,
I'm going to give you nine and a half locksmiths.
Love that. Now it's a biggie.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Confession. Three home alone, I leave my Oh, we've got
a theme this week. I leave my son alone a lot. H.
I don't mean in the I'm going to the gym.
Catch you laid away. Here's the thing. He's four months old. Oh,
he's at the point where he's awake for twelve hours
a day.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Don't get me wrong. When the kid smiles and all laughs,
I swoon with butterflies. But I don't understand how parents
can do the whole. I stimulate my baby all day long.
Most of the time, I'm the last thing he's interested in.
He wants to look at the fish tank, he wants
to play with his toys, swipe at the floppy giraffe
on his play mat, or watch his mobile. So during
(15:02):
the day I spend what is probably a bad parent
amount of time leaving him alone. He'll be crawling around
on his mat, chewing on toys, staring at various objects
in the room, or babbling to himself while I play
a video game. Browsing Internet or do chores. People tell
me that I need to interact with him, but I
venture that I only get accumulative two hours a day
(15:23):
of direct back and forth interaction with him.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
How is a four month old crawling around?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
He must just be like rolling around. Oh that's awful,
to be honest. I think when my daughter was little,
I had this thing of thinking that you had to
be there and be their full source of entertainment. But
they actually don't care. They're new to the world, so
everything is like the best. Like if they see a
cloud day made, they say, a little leaf on the ground, awesome.
(15:53):
They've never seen any of these things before, Like they
actually enjoy all of that stuff. You're still there in
the house. Life is their YouTube exactly. I was a
little bit worried when you said you leave him alone
a lot. I thought you met you were popping out
to the shop, So you're not. You're there.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, supervisions recommended.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
And it's only going to get harder from here, Like
the baby is going to need you more and more
as the baby starts to get more mobile. But while
they're a little crawling, rolling potato.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Hang on common Also, can we circle back to it.
Why is a four month awake for twelve hours a day.
They should be I've just been a while, but their
mean to sleep quite a bit during the day.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Well maybe that's because you had babies that slept, But
my baby was only awake for about this amount of
time as well, so all day.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah, didn't sleep during the time.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I guess she's not factoring in naps.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Twelve hours or is that the total awake time of
the twenty for hour period.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
This just doesn't feel like it's enough sleep.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I think she's meaning sleeps at night, but this is
about the amount during the day with your little naps
that time.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
The baby sounds very resilient, very advanced.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
The baby doesn't care, thinks that you and him are
the same person at the moment anyway, And do you
know what this speaks to is a very advanced secure
attachment style, which is not what my baby's had. It
was very anxious or disorganized, which is the worst style
of attachment.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
And they needed me all the time. So this is
actually great, and I think just keep nurturing that self sufficient,
secure attachment where you're not really needed.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yeah, it's great, It's a win. This kid will be
so happy to entertain themselves. They're used to it, so
self supering.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Fine, they'll be successful in life, they'll be good at relationships,
not too needy.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
As long as you're not popping out to the nail
salon supervision, you're a great parent within earshot, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Or the little monitor.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Yeah, it's fine, so fine, Yeah fine, So what are
we giving it? Look? I think it's pretty harmless. I
think this person's actually giving themselves a hard time for
something that doesn't need it.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
There's a saying, and it's no good parent ever has
wondered if they're a bad parent? Yes? Is that? Did
I say that the right way?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Wait? Wait, no, that's wrong.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Wait there's a say, it's a really good me.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
If you were a good parent, you would ask yourself
if you're a bad parent, Like a bad parent just
doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
A bad parent doesn't care.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I don't think we've nailed it, but you get.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
The viet The sentiment's there.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
If you're worrying about whether you're a good enough parent,
then you are one exactly that was better.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yes, kind of you nailed it, and you're nailing it
and you're fine because the fact that you care means
that you're a good parent.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, what are we giving to this one?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
My awarding system this week has been for the worst person,
So I think that this one's fine. So I'm just
gonna throw like a cheeky five and a half supervision
points out of ten.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, it is absolutely fine. And I don't think that
this one is very bad on the scale because babies
are boring. Babies are They're really no so fun but
so far so boring.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
For about eight months, they're quite actually enjoyable. Yeah they're viby,
but a four month old is a worm. They're boring
and so enjoy it while they're not needy.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Just leave them on that little playmate, they'll be happy
as larry. So I'll give you six playmates out of ten?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Are we declaring the winner this week?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
So first we had the baby with the failed baby proofing.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Fine, fine, Fine.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Then next we had the baby in the car.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Leaving the baby in the car the daycare early educators
and parents at pick up.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Look.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I love the chaos of that, I really do. And
it's really illegal. So like such a stickler for the rules,
but today is illegal, Stacey. So I feel like because
home alone, like just not really interacting as much of
the four month old. Yeah, the best. Worst was definitely
locking a baby at a toddler in a car, having
(19:59):
to involve the emergency services. Yeah, it's just a unanimous
obvious clip. You well done, to you, well done. We
don't advocate for children, I'm dogs.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
If you've got a confession, we'd love to hear from you.
Please send us your secret shame. All the details are
in our show. Yes see you next time, You next time.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
If you're looking for something else to listen to, Mama
Miya is officially presenting one hundred hours of summer listens,
from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty, and more.
There's a link in the show notes
You're listening to another mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the
Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
torres Rate Islander cultures.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hi, it's Anal's Todd here from This Glorious Mess, introducing
Hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across
the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos
and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather
warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share.
(01:03):
Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You
share your deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks
rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,
so really you can't lose. And if you want more,
there's a link in the show Enjoy Parents Anonymous. Welcome
(01:29):
to This Glorious Mess. I'm Annealie Todd, single parent, self
confessed hot mess and happily learning on the job that
is parenting.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
And I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mumma Mia,
and I'm much more alive and much less filled. It's
not than I was last time.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
So it's looking good, which selfishly, I am very grateful.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm so sorry for putting you through that. Thanks for
putting up with me. This is our favorite time of
week where you let out all of your parenting confessions
in our very silly version of group therapy.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
This is Parents Anonymous, where you share your story and
get the guilt off your chest. And it's just a
way to release the shame and the guilt. And I've
got some shame and guilt to release for you, sweet Stacy.
And then we give you points based on our very
serious and very scientific grading system, which is.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Really not scientific at all. We just grade you how
we're feeling at the time.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
It's a vibe check and we're all in this together.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
So first off, every episode we confess something that we've done,
just to make sure it's a safe space. We're not
sitting up on our high horse. No, So what's yours
this week?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's dangerous not giving single parents a good name.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh and I am.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And it's just it's like, oh, that single mum's house,
you know, it's giving that so I had some friends over,
and the children had their friends over. And I have
a little rooftop, little private, very chic, very secret life
of us rooftop nice for some, I know, thank you
so much, tiny townhouse, but the rooftop is the selling point.
(03:01):
And so the children were on the rooftop and this
is three stories high, and there's a little ledge all
the way around a rooftop, as one would suspect and
need given it three stories high. And I was downstairs
working on the ground level, and one of the children
ran outside and looked up and started conversing with a
child where there is no rooftop but just another landing
(03:25):
of just a flat piece of metal that is not
part of the enclosed rooftop. So I ran up and
the kids had jumped over the edge of the balcony
and were just running around free range, three stories in
the sky with no barricade, and I died and screamed.
(03:46):
I had to actually send a little group chat message
to my friend saying, please, can you talk to your
children about not climbing over the rooftop barrier and running
around in open space three stories high. I did tell
them off. Full disclosure.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Sometimes they do things that you don't think it's necessary
to tell them is not a good idea, and then
they just do it anyway. So I feel like this
isn't on you.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I blame YouTube game show giving jackass. That's what it's
giving exactly, And I would like to blame external influencers
that are not myself. It's fine, but I did endanger
the lives of other people's to it, not my own.
My kids knew not to do it. It's just sett of
humble brag in there. Yes, the genius kids didn't do
it because they're probably scared of the wrath of me.
(04:33):
But the other people's children did put their lives in
danger and it was a little bit scary.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Yeah, that is a little bit scary, but nothing bad happened,
so we're okay.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Thank goodness, it's okay.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Well, my little confession this week look not one of
my best parenting performances. But my daughter thinks sleep is
for the week, and so she does this fun little
thing sometimes, particularly when mummies stayed up and scrolled on
TikTok for too long, those are the nights she chooses.
She somehow knows to then wake up from about one
until about four.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
That is so annoying.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I love her.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
She's not self sufficient. It's not like she's off playing
tea sets on her own.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
She's she's three, and it's all about that Mummy needs
to be in with her doing whatever she's decided acting
or like no not well one minute yes and one
minute no. She just decides on the vibe. But it
got to about the two hour mark and I was
just sick of it, and she won't let me leave
the room. So I made up the excuse, mummy's just
(05:28):
got a wee. I'm just gonna wea. I'll be right back.
But instead I went an ate grated cheese straight from
the packet in the lounge room because I was at
that point.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You mean, my sustenance at that time.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I did. I did. I was not prepared to be
up for two hours into three hours in the middle
of the night.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Maybe shnak, yeah, look could have been worse. It's fine.
Could have been a vodka.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Well what I felt like, that's probably what I would
have done, ye little medicinal red.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Yes, yes, that would have been nice. Avoided that, So
I'm gonna take it as a wind.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Compared to me and endangering the lives of minus yours
is a very minor. Mine's quite pathetic now, but anyway,
moving on now, this show doesn't exist without your guilty confessions,
and as you can hear, we express ours. Sometimes they're
worse than others. I was pretty bad this week. I'll
step up my game next week. Thank you so much
to do something more danger I will do something horrible,
(06:18):
do better, and by better I mean worse. But we
would love you to leave us a voice note, or
if you want to be fully anonymous, you can email
us and we'll even read them out for you, so
it will not be your voice. We will not use
your name. No one will ever know it's you. Thank you,
and keep sharing because they bring us so much joy
in our otherwise bleak lives they do. All the links
(06:41):
and how you can send us your stories are in
the show notes for all your confession options, and on
today's show, the three new confessions that we have not
heard yed are called Babies, home Improvement Right, Actual Emergency Services, requiet,
Oh this is new, and home Alone. I do love
that movie. An All right, let's go.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
My son has just started what feels like a deep
obsession with the inside of cupboards. He calls to anything
with a door and tries to open it to either
get in or pull everything out. It's way earlier than
I thought this stuff would happen, and feel completely underprepared,
and also like a parent who has not childproofed anything,
(07:23):
literally nothing. It's like I blinked, and now he's crawling.
So I got a handyman to install a bunch of
child safety devices on cupboards, doors, and drawers. They are
so good that I cannot even get into them. So
now I don't latch them up and I just leave
them open, so I may as well have not got
them in the first place. So embarrassing. Ah. Look, I
(07:48):
never did the childproofing thing for this exact reason, because
when I went to other people's houses that had kids,
I was one of the last ones in my group
to have kids. I would have that thing of being like, sorry,
how do I open our fridge or how do I
open your cupboard? I really think it's more just you know,
you move the knifes up high and everything else. It's
a learning exercise for them.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
It is one of the most annoying phases one hundred
percent the cupboard phase and also they jam their fingers
in the cupboard. Yeah, it's not even about the mess
or the danger, it's just annoying. Do you know what
I did for this age and stage? And this is
for me, who's quite useless. I think this is quite level.
I had one cupboard that was all just plastic tupperware
(08:31):
kid's plates, and that was the lowest and that was
the one that they had the access to. That was
the pulling out things cupboard. And it was always messy, disorganized.
It always was covered in like dog hair or human
hair because it was all over the ground. And then
it was shoved in at the end of the day.
And that was the things cupboard. And that's how I
got through that phase.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
That was one of our activities that got us through,
you know, in the depths where you're counting down to
the next nap, when they're in that thinking.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
More until like four o'clock.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Wine that too, but when you're like, okay, we've got
forty five minutes left on this wake window, which I
was such a psycho with that stuff. But then I
would be like, what else can we do? And one
of the things I would let her do. Granted I
had my baby in lockdown. So spare thought for me
was that she would play in the tupperwar draw for
(09:20):
about it. So you've just got to let them play
with these things, to be honest, that's the stuff they
like more than toys. So really this is a cost
saving exercise for you. The fact that you can't get
these cupboards closed is going to benefit you in the
long run. Couse, he lives times. Just entertain them with a.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Little any weight or two, it's fine. I'd like to
bring up that back in our day, or more accurately
for your day. No, our parent no, I had little
baby closy things that I sort of stuck around and
then never used. As well, our parents didn't use them,
and we managed to survive. I think as long as
there's like no access to harmful chemicals or steak knives,
(09:59):
yeah you're winning. It's everything else is kind of like whatever, Yeah,
it's fine, So what are we rating this one? Then
it's very mild, it's very inoffensive. I think points come
off for the wasted money of the handyman, because you
could have just popped off to Bunnings and stuck them
on yourself and then knock those and that would have
been cheaper.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Look, that part's embarrassing. I'm not gonna lie to it is.
But you're among friends. I do this too.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
That was that was an unnecessary outsourced cost. Yeah, I
think I'm going to give them six little cups of
poison out of ten.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I ended up just doing a big old baby gate
that was so ugly, but a retractable one though, that
went across.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Our trip over every time that you walked in and out.
I did, accai.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I'm a very tall person and stepped over at one
time and tripped over onto the floor and winded myself.
So I'm giving you eight baby gates out of ten.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
All right, moving on the next one, Stace, what have
we got actual emergency services required? I am the worst
parent in the world.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I could give you a close run.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Few months we've all thought that obviously, Oh I leave
my baby in the car when I pick up my
toddler from daycare. Oh god, it's too hard to wrangle
them both, and it's a two minute in and out.
But this time I locked them in the car, and
(11:38):
then I was the mom having the full blown meltdown
in the car park, had to get an emergency locksmith.
And now I don't leave my baby in the car. Ever,
does she mean.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
She locked them both in the car? Somehow that's less
bad yes, than just a baby than just the Somehow,
I don't know. Somehow endangering both your children is less
bad for the optics with the other daycare parents because
it doesn't look like you left your baby alone. You
just it was a little miss.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It looked more like an accident than if you just
locked the baby. Then they would know that that was intentional.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Look, I can see why you do this, because getting
a baby in and out of a car.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Seat is the most annoying thing.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I don't know why we don't have the ones like
in America where they swivel and so you can just
get them in and out really easily.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
You've got to bend over and crunch it out, and
they cry, and then.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
When you've got a toddler who's checking a tantrum when
you're on the way out. I totally understand why you've
done it. And it is literally a quick in and out.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Although I would like to state legally that it is
illegal to leave your baby in a car, so just
I just want illegal.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
To jaywalk too. But we're all doing it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
We're not recommending that you leave baby vocating animals, you
know as well, just a little cheeky caveat Okay, all right,
legalities you with the rules today.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Yes, not advocating for it. But everyone does it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Well, everyone's done it at least once. Yes, definitely yes
see see. But I think that this was a good
learning This was a learning tool for this person because
now they don't do it anymore. That's why I'm an
advocate for public shame, because when we have moments of
public shame, which I'm assuming this was a pretty big one. Yeah,
(13:33):
then we don't do it again.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, no, how I'm done. They're obviously fine, You're obviously
a great mum. You snapped into actually did the right thing.
So we're giving you seven car keys out of ten.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I'm going to give you because this is pretty bad.
So it's like we're rating it as so we're rating
it really high or really low because it's pretty bad. Okay, okay.
And for the fact that you told us about it, Yeah,
I love you for telling us. And the fact that
the daycare people will definitely would have been judging you.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
They would have been a group chat going around.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
And the early educators as well as the other parents
could have very much been judging this. So for that,
I'm going to give you nine and a half locksmiths.
Love that. Now it's a biggie.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Confession. Three home alone, I leave my Oh, we've got
a theme this week. I leave my son alone a lot. H.
I don't mean in the I'm going to the gym.
Catch you laid away. Here's the thing. He's four months old. Oh,
he's at the point where he's awake for twelve hours
a day.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Don't get me wrong. When the kid smiles and all laughs,
I swoon with butterflies. But I don't understand how parents
can do the whole. I stimulate my baby all day long.
Most of the time, I'm the last thing he's interested in.
He wants to look at the fish tank, he wants
to play with his toys, swipe at the floppy giraffe
on his play mat, or watch his mobile. So during
(15:02):
the day I spend what is probably a bad parent
amount of time leaving him alone. He'll be crawling around
on his mat, chewing on toys, staring at various objects
in the room, or babbling to himself while I play
a video game. Browsing Internet or do chores. People tell
me that I need to interact with him, but I
venture that I only get accumulative two hours a day
(15:23):
of direct back and forth interaction with him.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
How is a four month old crawling around?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
He must just be like rolling around. Oh that's awful,
to be honest. I think when my daughter was little,
I had this thing of thinking that you had to
be there and be their full source of entertainment. But
they actually don't care. They're new to the world, so
everything is like the best. Like if they see a
cloud day made, they say, a little leaf on the ground, awesome.
(15:53):
They've never seen any of these things before, Like they
actually enjoy all of that stuff. You're still there in
the house. Life is their YouTube exactly. I was a
little bit worried when you said you leave him alone
a lot. I thought you met you were popping out
to the shop, So you're not. You're there.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, supervisions recommended.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
And it's only going to get harder from here, Like
the baby is going to need you more and more
as the baby starts to get more mobile. But while
they're a little crawling, rolling potato.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Hang on common Also, can we circle back to it.
Why is a four month awake for twelve hours a day.
They should be I've just been a while, but their
mean to sleep quite a bit during the day.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Well maybe that's because you had babies that slept, But
my baby was only awake for about this amount of
time as well, so all day.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah, didn't sleep during the time.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I guess she's not factoring in naps.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Twelve hours or is that the total awake time of
the twenty for hour period.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
This just doesn't feel like it's enough sleep.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I think she's meaning sleeps at night, but this is
about the amount during the day with your little naps
that time.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
The baby sounds very resilient, very advanced.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
The baby doesn't care, thinks that you and him are
the same person at the moment anyway, And do you
know what this speaks to is a very advanced secure
attachment style, which is not what my baby's had. It
was very anxious or disorganized, which is the worst style
of attachment.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
And they needed me all the time. So this is
actually great, and I think just keep nurturing that self sufficient,
secure attachment where you're not really needed.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yeah, it's great, It's a win. This kid will be
so happy to entertain themselves. They're used to it, so
self supering.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Fine, they'll be successful in life, they'll be good at relationships,
not too needy.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
As long as you're not popping out to the nail
salon supervision, you're a great parent within earshot, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Or the little monitor.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Yeah, it's fine, so fine, Yeah fine, So what are
we giving it? Look? I think it's pretty harmless. I
think this person's actually giving themselves a hard time for
something that doesn't need it.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
There's a saying, and it's no good parent ever has
wondered if they're a bad parent? Yes? Is that? Did
I say that the right way?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Wait? Wait, no, that's wrong.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Wait there's a say, it's a really good me.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
If you were a good parent, you would ask yourself
if you're a bad parent, Like a bad parent just
doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
A bad parent doesn't care.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I don't think we've nailed it, but you get.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
The viet The sentiment's there.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
If you're worrying about whether you're a good enough parent,
then you are one exactly that was better.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yes, kind of you nailed it, and you're nailing it
and you're fine because the fact that you care means
that you're a good parent.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, what are we giving to this one?
Speaker 1 (18:40):
My awarding system this week has been for the worst person,
So I think that this one's fine. So I'm just
gonna throw like a cheeky five and a half supervision
points out of ten.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, it is absolutely fine. And I don't think that
this one is very bad on the scale because babies
are boring. Babies are They're really no so fun but
so far so boring.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
For about eight months, they're quite actually enjoyable. Yeah they're viby,
but a four month old is a worm. They're boring
and so enjoy it while they're not needy.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Just leave them on that little playmate, they'll be happy
as larry. So I'll give you six playmates out of ten?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Are we declaring the winner this week?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
So first we had the baby with the failed baby proofing.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Fine, fine, Fine.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Then next we had the baby in the car.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Leaving the baby in the car the daycare early educators
and parents at pick up.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Look.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I love the chaos of that, I really do. And
it's really illegal. So like such a stickler for the rules,
but today is illegal, Stacey. So I feel like because
home alone, like just not really interacting as much of
the four month old. Yeah, the best. Worst was definitely
locking a baby at a toddler in a car, having
(19:59):
to involve the emergency services. Yeah, it's just a unanimous
obvious clip. You well done, to you, well done. We
don't advocate for children, I'm dogs.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
If you've got a confession, we'd love to hear from you.
Please send us your secret shame. All the details are
in our show. Yes see you next time, You next time.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
If you're looking for something else to listen to, Mama
Miya is officially presenting one hundred hours of summer listens,
from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty, and more.
There's a link in the show notes
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