December 22, 2024 • 9 mins
Welcome to a brand new podcast from This Glorious Mess called Parents Anonymous.
Part Church Confessional, part Game Show, this is where you share your deepest, darkest parenting confessions to get that guilt off your chest. We'll score each confession, and here at parents anonymous, the worst parenting moment wins the most points.
To kick things off, we have three juicy secrets: a butt dial gone wrong, a dummy fairy incident, and a questionable donation.
If you have a confession to share, leave us a voice note or email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au.
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CREDITS:
Host: Annaliese Todd & Stacey Hicks
Producer: Grace Rouvray
Audio Producer: Lu Hill
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
So you're listening to another miir podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges
the traditional owners of the land. We have recorded this
podcast on the Gadigul people of the Eor nation. We
pay our respects to their elders past and present, and
extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torres Rate islander cultures.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It's Annalise Todd here from this Glorious mess introducing Hot
Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across the
Mumamere network, just for you to escape the chaos and
enjoy with the kids at home and the weather warming up.
We've got episodes of little love Stories and Parents' Anonymous
(01:05):
to share. From the beginn to the yang. Parents Anonymous
is part game show, part church confessional. You share your
deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks rate you,
but the worst parenting wins the most points, so really
you can't lose. If you're looking for something else to
listen to, Mama Mia is officially presenting one hundred hours
(01:29):
of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion,
beauty and more. There's a link in the show.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Notes Parents Anonymous welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annalie's
single mum to two twain boys, and I mute my
kids sports WhatsApp groups. And I'm Stacy Hicks, the exhausted
mum of a very strong wheeled three year old girl.
(01:58):
And the bags under my eyes a country road I
got them on sale. Do you like them?
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Well, I would say they're more giving Gucci. I feel
like more high end than that.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Thanks, I appreciate that. So today, Stace, we're launching a
fun new episode within your Glorious mess weekly feed called
Parents Anonymous. Yes, Parents Anonymous is part church confessional, heart
game show and a whole lot of laughs, if we
do say so ourselves. The concept is pretty simple. You
tell us a story and get the guilt off your chest,
(02:28):
and we judge you for it. But we will also
be putting you in competition with two other parents, just
in case you didn't find parenting enough of a competition already.
But in this case, you get the most points for
being the worst parents, so there's no losing.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I think that's the best kind of competition. I agree,
I would like to be crowned worst parent. So we
put a call out to our listeners through TGM and
Mama Mia for your confessions, and from there we invite
our favorite three to step into the confessional and spill
the guilty tea.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Yes, and we've never heard these before, So we're giving
you two minutes to tell your story, and then we
decide the best one based on hilariousness and creativity and
worse parentness and worse parentness.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Absolutely. On today's show, we have a dummy fairy, a
dating hotline. Oh that's on brand for me, and a
donating child.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Okay, I'm very intrigued, me too. Oh I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Here we go. I tried to get my child to
stop using dummies by inventing something I like to call
the dummy fairy.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Picture this.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I dug a hole in the garden, the dummies were
placed inside. We sprinkled a little bit of glitter on
the whole, and then when they were distracted, I put
a toy truck in its place.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I feel so embarrassed in my child that they fell
for that, But oh well, it worked and now they don't.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Use a dummy.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
The dummy fairy is not groundbreaking.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
No, I was just about to say I wanted off
at this point. I invented the dummy fairy. I thought
this was my genius idea when my three year old
had to give hers up as well.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yes, but Stacy, did you go out into the garden
and bury it and give it a funeral? No?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I am giving her massive props for that because I didn't.
I just made up a story about the dummy fairy
and the next day they were gone.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
And then not only did she give it a funeral,
but it got resurrected like Jesus in the form of
a toy.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
I love it. I really should have thought of that. Actually,
very impressed with this. I like the commitment. I like
the creativity, the child I liked doing in return, the
religious symbolism of it being raised from Yes, love it.
I think it's great. Okay, well, there's nothing to go
first out of ten tactical parenting. Well, because she beat me,
she committed to the lie more than I ever would have.
(04:31):
I'm going to give her nine trucks out of ten.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Hmmm, that's very generous. Look for the resurrection, for the
religious symbolism, for the commitment. The glitter as well. I
like the glitter. That's good. I'm going to give her
a solid eight trucks out.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Of ten trucks, or your hard market.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I like it. I am all right. So what have
we got up next? Donating children? I've thought about turning
mine on eBay. Let's see if it comes close to that.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
I was out shopping and the shop assistant wanted to
cut on my newish second child. I got chatting to
another shop assistant and then left the shop, only to
be chased down and reminded that my baby was still
in the store. I live in a regional town and
it's quite a small community, so I am absolutely mortified
(05:22):
and haven't gone back to the store.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Oh, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. She's busy, she's shopping,
she's got two kids, she's outnumbered, and if it's a
new baby, she's tired.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Exactly. I have lost count of the amount of times
I've been driving with my child in the car and
suddenly she'll make a noise and I go, oh, I'm
a mother, like I actually forget for a moment that
she's there, when she's quiet for a change. I mean,
it's not great ideal to count your children before you
leave the store.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
And it's good that she lives in a regional town.
That's safe in that instance as well. Exactly exactly in
terms of leaving a kid with a stranger, it's a
small community, that's good. Yeah, so no harm was done,
the child got returned. I have threatened my kids before that.
I was going to put them on eBay and I
was thinking, like, I've gone there mentally and I've said
it to them. I think that's worse. What are you
(06:12):
scoring her?
Speaker 4 (06:13):
We've got her deduct points for forgetting your child, but
we also totally understand why you've done it.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
That's your marking system, not mine.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Do I sound too judging? I probably do, But look,
I think it's a great parenting confession. I think a
lot of people probably keep things like this to themselves,
but they do it more than they like to admit.
So I think it's good that we just get these
out in the open. She probably feels so much better
now she said it. We've all secretly wanted to leave
our child with a friendly babysitter for a few minutes
so we can catch our breadths.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
So on eBay.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah exactly, I'll give her seven point five.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Oh okay for oversharing, because you know, like that's that
is your man truck brand. So for the oversharing and
the fact that she could like people like you would think,
it's really bad. I'm going to give her a nine
out of forgetting her child. Out of ten, I think,
go go, you love it. What do we got last?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I feel like we've kept your perfect one And for last,
dating hotline is an ext one line.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
What she has to say.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I am a single parent and was out for coffee
with my friends, telling her all about my plan to
go out and have mindless sex with no strings attached
for the next twelve months, very intricate details. I got
to my car to leave, and my car said, do
you want to transfer the call to the car? I thought,
that's strange, I'm not on a call. Well yes I was.
In fact, I'd called the school mom's group chat for
(07:35):
twenty two minutes.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Oh my god, our jaws are on the floor. Stacy like,
if this is not a visual medium, but if you
could see us right now, our jaws are on the floor.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
This is not something that happens to us very often.
We had never lost for words, never never, But.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Here we are.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
This is my worst night, very in any situation.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I'm clutching my purse, and this is something that I
possibly would do. That's why I'm so upset for her,
Like that is literally something that I would do. This
why you needed two minutes is long.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
That's a long time. This is why you need to
check that the phone is off or away before you
start getting into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
SERI is not listening and doing things.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
I really want to know more about the fallout. I
really want to know what happened and how many people.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Heard the details, and if they committed to the full
twenty two minutes, because obviously I would.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
There is no way on this earth I would be
hanging up on that call. If someone accidentally called me
and I was hearing the nedy gritty of their dating life,
I would be listening to every single second of it.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So corn straight to the microwave. I'm afraid to.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Say, I think everyone heard everything you had to say,
but I think everyone would be very jealous of what
you had to say.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
I agree, actually, and I think this is not a
shameful one. This is the walk of fame, not a
walk of shame, exactly. They'll talk about you for decades,
So he's jealous. Yeah, and this will be the story
that they tell to their other mum friends in the
best possible way. I mean, I look at that legend,
the great sex life, off she goes the spring and
her step now you know why.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Yeah, I don't think she should be a shamed by
this at all. I think this is brilliant. And look
at the great table fodder that she's given to other
people to talk about with their friends. Like sometimes when
you're a parent, you can get really boring, like you're
not doing that much, You're not getting out and doing
as much as other people. So really, you've done a
public service by sharing this story. I think it's great.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
And for that, for your active service, for the service
of others doing God's work. I give you, Sexy Lady
a solid ten out of ten.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
I give you ten butt dials out of ten. Well done.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
And if you've got a confession, we would love to
hear it, Like we really really live for this. We
want to know it and just get it off your chest.
Release better out than in. As the old saying guy.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
You'll feel better once you tell us.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
We promise send us your secret shame. You can be
completely anonymous or leave a voice note or email. We
just want to hear from you. All the details are
in the show notes.
So you're listening to another miir podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges
the traditional owners of the land. We have recorded this
podcast on the Gadigul people of the Eor nation. We
pay our respects to their elders past and present, and
extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torres Rate islander cultures.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It's Annalise Todd here from this Glorious mess introducing Hot
Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across the
Mumamere network, just for you to escape the chaos and
enjoy with the kids at home and the weather warming up.
We've got episodes of little love Stories and Parents' Anonymous
(01:05):
to share. From the beginn to the yang. Parents Anonymous
is part game show, part church confessional. You share your
deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks rate you,
but the worst parenting wins the most points, so really
you can't lose. If you're looking for something else to
listen to, Mama Mia is officially presenting one hundred hours
(01:29):
of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion,
beauty and more. There's a link in the show.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Notes Parents Anonymous welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Annalie's
single mum to two twain boys, and I mute my
kids sports WhatsApp groups. And I'm Stacy Hicks, the exhausted
mum of a very strong wheeled three year old girl.
(01:58):
And the bags under my eyes a country road I
got them on sale. Do you like them?
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Well, I would say they're more giving Gucci. I feel
like more high end than that.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Thanks, I appreciate that. So today, Stace, we're launching a
fun new episode within your Glorious mess weekly feed called
Parents Anonymous. Yes, Parents Anonymous is part church confessional, heart
game show and a whole lot of laughs, if we
do say so ourselves. The concept is pretty simple. You
tell us a story and get the guilt off your chest,
(02:28):
and we judge you for it. But we will also
be putting you in competition with two other parents, just
in case you didn't find parenting enough of a competition already.
But in this case, you get the most points for
being the worst parents, so there's no losing.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I think that's the best kind of competition. I agree,
I would like to be crowned worst parent. So we
put a call out to our listeners through TGM and
Mama Mia for your confessions, and from there we invite
our favorite three to step into the confessional and spill
the guilty tea.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Yes, and we've never heard these before, So we're giving
you two minutes to tell your story, and then we
decide the best one based on hilariousness and creativity and
worse parentness and worse parentness.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Absolutely. On today's show, we have a dummy fairy, a
dating hotline. Oh that's on brand for me, and a
donating child.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Okay, I'm very intrigued, me too. Oh I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Here we go. I tried to get my child to
stop using dummies by inventing something I like to call
the dummy fairy.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Picture this.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I dug a hole in the garden, the dummies were
placed inside. We sprinkled a little bit of glitter on
the whole, and then when they were distracted, I put
a toy truck in its place.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I feel so embarrassed in my child that they fell
for that, But oh well, it worked and now they don't.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Use a dummy.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
The dummy fairy is not groundbreaking.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
No, I was just about to say I wanted off
at this point. I invented the dummy fairy. I thought
this was my genius idea when my three year old
had to give hers up as well.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yes, but Stacy, did you go out into the garden
and bury it and give it a funeral? No?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I am giving her massive props for that because I didn't.
I just made up a story about the dummy fairy
and the next day they were gone.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
And then not only did she give it a funeral,
but it got resurrected like Jesus in the form of
a toy.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
I love it. I really should have thought of that. Actually,
very impressed with this. I like the commitment. I like
the creativity, the child I liked doing in return, the
religious symbolism of it being raised from Yes, love it.
I think it's great. Okay, well, there's nothing to go
first out of ten tactical parenting. Well, because she beat me,
she committed to the lie more than I ever would have.
(04:31):
I'm going to give her nine trucks out of ten.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Hmmm, that's very generous. Look for the resurrection, for the
religious symbolism, for the commitment. The glitter as well. I
like the glitter. That's good. I'm going to give her
a solid eight trucks out.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Of ten trucks, or your hard market.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I like it. I am all right. So what have
we got up next? Donating children? I've thought about turning
mine on eBay. Let's see if it comes close to that.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
I was out shopping and the shop assistant wanted to
cut on my newish second child. I got chatting to
another shop assistant and then left the shop, only to
be chased down and reminded that my baby was still
in the store. I live in a regional town and
it's quite a small community, so I am absolutely mortified
(05:22):
and haven't gone back to the store.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Oh, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. She's busy, she's shopping,
she's got two kids, she's outnumbered, and if it's a
new baby, she's tired.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Exactly. I have lost count of the amount of times
I've been driving with my child in the car and
suddenly she'll make a noise and I go, oh, I'm
a mother, like I actually forget for a moment that
she's there, when she's quiet for a change. I mean,
it's not great ideal to count your children before you
leave the store.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
And it's good that she lives in a regional town.
That's safe in that instance as well. Exactly exactly in
terms of leaving a kid with a stranger, it's a
small community, that's good. Yeah, so no harm was done,
the child got returned. I have threatened my kids before that.
I was going to put them on eBay and I
was thinking, like, I've gone there mentally and I've said
it to them. I think that's worse. What are you
(06:12):
scoring her?
Speaker 4 (06:13):
We've got her deduct points for forgetting your child, but
we also totally understand why you've done it.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
That's your marking system, not mine.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Do I sound too judging? I probably do, But look,
I think it's a great parenting confession. I think a
lot of people probably keep things like this to themselves,
but they do it more than they like to admit.
So I think it's good that we just get these
out in the open. She probably feels so much better
now she said it. We've all secretly wanted to leave
our child with a friendly babysitter for a few minutes
so we can catch our breadths.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
So on eBay.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah exactly, I'll give her seven point five.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Oh okay for oversharing, because you know, like that's that
is your man truck brand. So for the oversharing and
the fact that she could like people like you would think,
it's really bad. I'm going to give her a nine
out of forgetting her child. Out of ten, I think,
go go, you love it. What do we got last?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
I feel like we've kept your perfect one And for last,
dating hotline is an ext one line.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
What she has to say.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I am a single parent and was out for coffee
with my friends, telling her all about my plan to
go out and have mindless sex with no strings attached
for the next twelve months, very intricate details. I got
to my car to leave, and my car said, do
you want to transfer the call to the car? I thought,
that's strange, I'm not on a call. Well yes I was.
In fact, I'd called the school mom's group chat for
(07:35):
twenty two minutes.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Oh my god, our jaws are on the floor. Stacy like,
if this is not a visual medium, but if you
could see us right now, our jaws are on the floor.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
This is not something that happens to us very often.
We had never lost for words, never never, But.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Here we are.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
This is my worst night, very in any situation.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I'm clutching my purse, and this is something that I
possibly would do. That's why I'm so upset for her,
Like that is literally something that I would do. This
why you needed two minutes is long.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
That's a long time. This is why you need to
check that the phone is off or away before you
start getting into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
SERI is not listening and doing things.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
I really want to know more about the fallout. I
really want to know what happened and how many people.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Heard the details, and if they committed to the full
twenty two minutes, because obviously I would.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
There is no way on this earth I would be
hanging up on that call. If someone accidentally called me
and I was hearing the nedy gritty of their dating life,
I would be listening to every single second of it.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
So corn straight to the microwave. I'm afraid to.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Say, I think everyone heard everything you had to say,
but I think everyone would be very jealous of what
you had to say.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
I agree, actually, and I think this is not a
shameful one. This is the walk of fame, not a
walk of shame, exactly. They'll talk about you for decades,
So he's jealous. Yeah, and this will be the story
that they tell to their other mum friends in the
best possible way. I mean, I look at that legend,
the great sex life, off she goes the spring and
her step now you know why.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Yeah, I don't think she should be a shamed by
this at all. I think this is brilliant. And look
at the great table fodder that she's given to other
people to talk about with their friends. Like sometimes when
you're a parent, you can get really boring, like you're
not doing that much, You're not getting out and doing
as much as other people. So really, you've done a
public service by sharing this story. I think it's great.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
And for that, for your active service, for the service
of others doing God's work. I give you, Sexy Lady
a solid ten out of ten.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
I give you ten butt dials out of ten. Well done.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
And if you've got a confession, we would love to
hear it, Like we really really live for this. We
want to know it and just get it off your chest.
Release better out than in. As the old saying guy.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
You'll feel better once you tell us.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
We promise send us your secret shame. You can be
completely anonymous or leave a voice note or email. We
just want to hear from you. All the details are
in the show notes.
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