December 26, 2024 • 15 mins
In this weeks Parents Anonymous we got quite a shock when a super embarrassing toilet dilemma was revealed to be the secret shame of our very own Stacey Hicks! However, we're quite impressed at her ingenuity. Brace for shock and wow
Please share your shameful secrets by leaving us a voice note, email us at tgm@mamamia.com.au or for super shame super anonymous you can pop them in this form.
Parents Anonymous is part Church Confessional, part Game Show. Where you, our listeners, share your deepest darkest parenting confessions and we'll score them using our completely made up scoring system!
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CREDITS:
Host: Annaliese Todd & Stacey Hicks
Producer: Grace Rouvray
Audio Producer: Lu Hill
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You're listening to another mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the
Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
torres Rate Islander cultures.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Hi, it's Anale's todd here from this Glorious Mess, introducing
hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across
the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos
and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather
warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share.
(01:03):
Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You
share your deepest parenting shame and myself and Stacey Hicks
rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,
so really you can't lose, and if you want more,
there's a link in the show.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Enjoy Parents Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Welcome to this Glorious Mess. I'm Annalise. I'm a single
parent to two boys who are tween aged, so I
secretly sniff other people's babies heads when their parents aren't looking.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I love that from you and I'm Stacy Kicks. I'm
the deputy editor here at MMA MIA, and I'm running
on about four hour sleep because my toddler has decided
that three am is a great time to party, which
was a great time for me to party before I
had her, Now not so much.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, I still party until three am sometimes, I'm single.
Parents so cool. Yeah, welcome, Welcome back to Parents Anonymous,
brought to you by this glorious mess.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yes, and Parents Anonymous, as you'll know by now, is
part church confessional, part game show. So you tell us
a story completely anonymously, as the name suggests, and get
the guilt off your chest, and we give you made
up points based on our very serious, very scientific grading system.
And by very scientific and very serious, I mean vibes
and vibes alone.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
It's a vibe check.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
We thought to get you in the mood for confessing
this week. We thought it's all very good and well
for us to sit up on our hell and rape
you and judge you from afar. But we actually haven't
spilt any of our own tea.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
That's true. We haven't selfish. Yeah, we needed we need
to get down in the trenches. It's elitist I have
some really cooked ones, but I'm going to keep those
for another day. Well, I'm going to tell you some
of my little fun ones.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It'll dip your toe in.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I once spent one hundred and forty nine dollars on
a starting solids guide for my baby that I never
once used.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Is it plastic tubs? Is it a machine?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
It was not even a real life book. It was
a e book, one hundred and forty nine dollars with
different recipes for mush, different ways to introduce allergens, different combinations.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I didn't use it once, like a bit of banana
in a bowl.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah, all right, we're talking about wasting money. Yeah, so
do you still get the baby bonus when you have
a baby. This was like twelve years ago, so the
government gave and like I don't quote me, but it
might have been like four or five grand.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Wow. Yeah, I don't think you get that anymore.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh well, this was the good old, heady days of
the baby bonus. I think maybe k Ruj was in charge.
Thank you. I spent all of that on a very expensive,
obnoxious coffee table.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I love that you're about to be stuck at home
with a baby. You're going to be staring at that
coffee table.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
You might as well like it aligned to proof. Yep,
And this show it just it doesn't exist without your
guilty confessions. So we want more of them. If you
want to be fully anonymous, you can just email us.
We'll never mention your name. Just have a look in
the show notes. All the confession options are there for you.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah. And on today's show, we have three new mystery
confessions that we haven't heard, and they are screens as
co parents. Anywhere is a toilet? Yes, and out of sight,
out of mind, great, I can't wait, great time, let's
get into that bait.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
You got me? Yeah, And so for them, these ones
stays just so that we could secure the an I
can't say anonymmity, how do you say? Love it?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
No?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
That was perfect anonominimity.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yep, we'll roll with that.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
That word. We're going to be reading these out.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yes, we're going to voice them for you.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's like a sermon.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So, my four year old daughter watches about three hours
of TV a day, and I have no plans to
change this. The concept of limiting TV is not part
of my vocabulary. But maybe I'm the poster child for
bad parenting. My nine year old son watches TV and
plays video games for many hours a week. Adults say
bad words in front of him. He knows what beer is.
He doesn't drink it though, of course, and he doesn't
(05:00):
brush his teeth twice a day. Oh well, that wasn't
me saying, oh well, that was from the person who
submitted this one.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Okay, this there's a lot to unpack here. So the
first one was the four year old and the TV.
I mean, you know that there are guidelines from the government,
a strangy government about how much screen time I think
under five at zero hours now, I would say that
there would be zero point zero zero zero zero one
percent of the population that abides by that.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I agree with that. Yeah, absolutely, And look it does
when you are in the trenches, especially when they're around
this age, you need TV to help you. But you
do feel horrible when you're doing it, Like every time
you switch it on because you need a break or
they demand to watch another episode of Bluey. You do
feel bad putting them in front of a screen and thinking,
am I damaging their little mind? Is this appropriate content?
(05:50):
Maybe for the first child? The time when I second
came out it was the pepper pig era and he,
I swear to God, had a British accent. My daughter
has a little bit of a British accent. She does
ee Mummy, which is very cute. But we put on
bluey to you know, even out the accent, so that's
all fine.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
The second thing there was the nine year old son YEP,
and video games and TV. Again I think for that
age bracket, I think it's about two hours a week.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But please, maybe there's also a guide on how much
chocolate I'm meant to eat a week, and I'm ignoring
that totally. So I'm actually with you on this.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Do you know on that I do have a parenting
strategy here. When my kids first went and discovered Fortnite,
I thought, oh, life is over. I think it was
school holidays. It just didn't coincide with a good time.
There was no limits. But you know what, they eventually
got sick of it. It was that binge until you
cannot consume no more. So maybe that this child is
(06:45):
on the path to that.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I do actually think sometimes that works. If you've got
an unlimited supply of something, you're not that interested in
it anymore because it's just there whenever you want it.
You're letting them make the decision. It's intuitive for them.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
It's intuitive streaming, screen parenting. Yep.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, so I actually think that's really great in that aspect.
So good on you.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Now the teeth, Oh look, I mean it is tricky
to get boys to brush their teeth. Yes, this is
the one thing that I would probably push for as
a parent with a child that has had a few feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Oh, it's a long term investment, isn't it. I hadn't
even thought of it.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
You do the teeth brushing, I would say more just
for the saving of the ball ache of going to
the dentist and getting a filling. I would recommend pushing
a little harder on that particular one.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I think ones they've got their adult teeth, you know
what their baby teeth are gonna come out anyway.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, but nine you do have them, so you do? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the grown up teeth.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Can you tell I've only got a three year old? Yes,
I've got that.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Stay at least I'm here for you to show you
the air of your future.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Way, So what are we rating this one?
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I think that this one, I just feel like she's
doing a great job. Yeah, there's a little room for improvement,
but you know, we can all improve. No one's nailing
every area of life parenting. No, I'm going to give
her eight fillings out of ten.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You know what I love about this and what the
absence of in this is there's no guilt. Yes, she's
not feeling bad. She's actually proud of herself for this,
and I love that. So for that, I'm going to
give her a few extra points and she can have
eight and a half screens out of ten.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
All right, moving on, anywhere is a toilet. I'm going
to read out this confession to protect the annominymity?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Are we going to change the name parents and an
anonymity in this?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Might learn how to say that work for next time.
I had a very colicky, unsettled baby, and when she
was about five months old, I had to drive with
her alone in the car for about an hour to
a specialist. I was terrified the whole time and so
frazzled getting everything organized that I forgot to pee. So
by the time I pulled up at the address, I
(09:02):
was busting, and that pelvic floor was not in top
shape anymore. I hadn't been able to stop on the
wave because, as anyone knows, if you stop even for
a second of the baby, they'll scream and you'll cry,
and it'll just be a total mess. So when I
pulled up, it was in a residential street. There were
no toilets around, and by that point the dam was
(09:23):
about to burn. I didn't know if the specialists had
a waiting room toilet or even where the entrance was,
so in a moment of desperation, I had to pull
out two of my daughter's nappies and just release right
there in the car. My poor baby had to stay
in the same nappy for four hours because I then
had to ration her for the rest of the day.
(09:48):
So let's unpack from the top. I want to hear
what you think of this first. A one hour drive
with a five month off is a ball ake, was brave.
There's points for bravery just in that mission alone. Your
pelvic floor will never be in good shape again.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Let's just sw You and I both know this well.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I am what last baby nine years postpartum LBL. It's
a lifelong condition.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
It is. You and I cross our legs every time
we laugh at one another. We're doing it we're doing
it right now, just in case.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I'm actually I'm surprised that producer Grace doesn't put plastic
on our chairs. I called this, it's that dire, this
grab for nappies. It's a macguiva move.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
It is it is.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It is quick thinking, it's protecting the car seats. And
I think if there had to be a choice between
mum being wet or a baby living in a wet
nappy for four hours, I definitely choose the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
An Alice, I'm going to say something, and I'm glad
you think all of these things because, in the spirit
of confessions, that is actually me. That was me you
I had to go in a nappy. I told you
I have a week pelvic floor.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
You wat in the car into two nappy Look, because.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
If I had questions much, ok, you can ask me
the answers. You can ask me while I was busting. Look,
it was desperate times. It was a bear grills macguy
iv a move.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
That's what I said, mcgui.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I had no option. I had to go. It was
either there or in my tights on the side of
the street.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
My first question is why did you two nappies? Because
because I.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Didn't know how much liquid they feel very heavy after
a full night and your baby in them, but I didn't.
I needed to have a second layer of protection in cave.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
And then my other question is did anyone walk past? No?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Thank goodness, but it was. There was little old men
that walked past. Right before I got to this point.
As I was, I had a bit of a Sophie's
choice moment where I just didn't know what to do.
Like I was like, do I get the baby out?
Do I do this? I don't know what to do.
I was panicking, and so I went with this option. Oh,
I actually can't believe I've admitted this on a public podcast,
(12:00):
but here we are either I am thrilled. Well, look,
so what are you rating me? I'm raiding myself a
ten out of ten.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Obviously for the mcguiver like quick thinking that just alone
is impressive for sparing your car and your clothes, but
for the bravery of publicly share this, attaching a name
and a face and knowing how you know you actually
do get embarrassed in life. I do. For me to
(12:28):
admit this, it wouldn't be as brave, But for you,
I'm going eleven. Nappies out of all. Oh, thanks my
highest score.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think I deserve it.
It's a good sight.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Out of mind. Do the reading.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Here we go, Stacy. My fourth baby was a few
months old and still breastfeeding through the night. My husband
was into state for work when the four kids and
I all got a stomach bug. I had two year
old twins in nappies and the diarrhea was so runny
that no nappy could contain it. There was literal boo
(13:10):
buddles around the house, but I was so sick that
I just had to put a towel down on top
of the puddles and leave them for later. It was
absolutely foul. I'm convinced there is no possible sickness scenario
worse than this.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Two year old.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Twins and snappies and a stomach bug for all five
of them.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
And your solo parenting.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Ah, look, you deserve a gold medal just for the
parenting of four well children. In my eyes, yes, on a.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Regular day without a Poonami, crist exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
That is an incredible feat. Minus the pooh puddles. Just
how you get through every day. This is awful. This
is one of those scenarios where you go. This has
to be a joke, like, this isn't my actual life.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And you know what the hardest thing is, there's no
one you can call it. No, you cannot invite another
human into that environment. No, there's pooh on the floor,
there's towels. I hope there wasn't dogs, because that just
would have added the dogs had been eating the pooh. Like,
I'm just hoping there wasn't a dog in that scenario.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
This is pretty much as bad as it gets. But
I think you did exactly what you needed to do
in that moment and just get through it. Stick a
towel on top of it. Deal with it later, you
know how, Like you close the laundry door. Yeah, as
far as you're concerned, it's cleaning there, and you deal
with it later.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I'm hoping the towels wire put in the bin, not washed. Yeah,
just a small look.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
But I hope you had a few good budget towels
on hand that you were ready to.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I don't want to put those in the washing machine.
That's just straight in the bin. Scoop it up in
the bin, Glen twenty, move on. Yeah, this is a
hurt locker. Yeah kind of scenario. This is a this
is war.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I think it's fabulous that you shared this, and so
I'm giving you nine and a half pooh puddles out
of ten. That's pretty bad.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I'm going to give you nine pounamis. Yeah, yeah, a
lot of strong finish. I still think that anywhere is
a toilet, which was the theme of your overshare which
I read out, which I will never forget as long
as I live. I think that you are the winner
of today. I can't wait to tell everyone about this
(15:22):
at work and for everyone to hear it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
So if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Please send us your secret chains. All the details are
in the show notes, and I promise you they are
so anonymous that producer Grace didn't even know that that
one was mine, so really didn't know.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
No one knew.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
You are completely anonymous. It doesn't even show up your
emails and not send them on through.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
A nonminimity guarantee guarantee Indeed, we'll see you next scene,
next time. If you're looking for something else to listen to,
Mama Miya is officially presenting one hundred hours of summer
listens from Meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty, and more.
(16:03):
There's a link in the show notes
You're listening to another mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We
have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the
Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
torres Rate Islander cultures.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Hi, it's Anale's todd here from this Glorious Mess, introducing
hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across
the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos
and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather
warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share.
(01:03):
Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You
share your deepest parenting shame and myself and Stacey Hicks
rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,
so really you can't lose, and if you want more,
there's a link in the show.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Enjoy Parents Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Welcome to this Glorious Mess. I'm Annalise. I'm a single
parent to two boys who are tween aged, so I
secretly sniff other people's babies heads when their parents aren't looking.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I love that from you and I'm Stacy Kicks. I'm
the deputy editor here at MMA MIA, and I'm running
on about four hour sleep because my toddler has decided
that three am is a great time to party, which
was a great time for me to party before I
had her, Now not so much.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yeah, I still party until three am sometimes, I'm single.
Parents so cool. Yeah, welcome, Welcome back to Parents Anonymous,
brought to you by this glorious mess.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yes, and Parents Anonymous, as you'll know by now, is
part church confessional, part game show. So you tell us
a story completely anonymously, as the name suggests, and get
the guilt off your chest, and we give you made
up points based on our very serious, very scientific grading system.
And by very scientific and very serious, I mean vibes
and vibes alone.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
It's a vibe check.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
We thought to get you in the mood for confessing
this week. We thought it's all very good and well
for us to sit up on our hell and rape
you and judge you from afar. But we actually haven't
spilt any of our own tea.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
That's true. We haven't selfish. Yeah, we needed we need
to get down in the trenches. It's elitist I have
some really cooked ones, but I'm going to keep those
for another day. Well, I'm going to tell you some
of my little fun ones.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It'll dip your toe in.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I once spent one hundred and forty nine dollars on
a starting solids guide for my baby that I never
once used.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Is it plastic tubs? Is it a machine?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
It was not even a real life book. It was
a e book, one hundred and forty nine dollars with
different recipes for mush, different ways to introduce allergens, different combinations.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I didn't use it once, like a bit of banana
in a bowl.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah, all right, we're talking about wasting money. Yeah, so
do you still get the baby bonus when you have
a baby. This was like twelve years ago, so the
government gave and like I don't quote me, but it
might have been like four or five grand.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Wow. Yeah, I don't think you get that anymore.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh well, this was the good old, heady days of
the baby bonus. I think maybe k Ruj was in charge.
Thank you. I spent all of that on a very expensive,
obnoxious coffee table.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I love that you're about to be stuck at home
with a baby. You're going to be staring at that
coffee table.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
You might as well like it aligned to proof. Yep,
And this show it just it doesn't exist without your
guilty confessions. So we want more of them. If you
want to be fully anonymous, you can just email us.
We'll never mention your name. Just have a look in
the show notes. All the confession options are there for you.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah. And on today's show, we have three new mystery
confessions that we haven't heard, and they are screens as
co parents. Anywhere is a toilet? Yes, and out of sight,
out of mind, great, I can't wait, great time, let's
get into that bait.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
You got me? Yeah, And so for them, these ones
stays just so that we could secure the an I
can't say anonymmity, how do you say? Love it?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
No?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
That was perfect anonominimity.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yep, we'll roll with that.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
That word. We're going to be reading these out.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yes, we're going to voice them for you.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's like a sermon.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So, my four year old daughter watches about three hours
of TV a day, and I have no plans to
change this. The concept of limiting TV is not part
of my vocabulary. But maybe I'm the poster child for
bad parenting. My nine year old son watches TV and
plays video games for many hours a week. Adults say
bad words in front of him. He knows what beer is.
He doesn't drink it though, of course, and he doesn't
(05:00):
brush his teeth twice a day. Oh well, that wasn't
me saying, oh well, that was from the person who
submitted this one.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Okay, this there's a lot to unpack here. So the
first one was the four year old and the TV.
I mean, you know that there are guidelines from the government,
a strangy government about how much screen time I think
under five at zero hours now, I would say that
there would be zero point zero zero zero zero one
percent of the population that abides by that.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I agree with that. Yeah, absolutely, And look it does
when you are in the trenches, especially when they're around
this age, you need TV to help you. But you
do feel horrible when you're doing it, Like every time
you switch it on because you need a break or
they demand to watch another episode of Bluey. You do
feel bad putting them in front of a screen and thinking,
am I damaging their little mind? Is this appropriate content?
(05:50):
Maybe for the first child? The time when I second
came out it was the pepper pig era and he,
I swear to God, had a British accent. My daughter
has a little bit of a British accent. She does
ee Mummy, which is very cute. But we put on
bluey to you know, even out the accent, so that's
all fine.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
The second thing there was the nine year old son YEP,
and video games and TV. Again I think for that
age bracket, I think it's about two hours a week.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But please, maybe there's also a guide on how much
chocolate I'm meant to eat a week, and I'm ignoring
that totally. So I'm actually with you on this.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Do you know on that I do have a parenting
strategy here. When my kids first went and discovered Fortnite,
I thought, oh, life is over. I think it was
school holidays. It just didn't coincide with a good time.
There was no limits. But you know what, they eventually
got sick of it. It was that binge until you
cannot consume no more. So maybe that this child is
(06:45):
on the path to that.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I do actually think sometimes that works. If you've got
an unlimited supply of something, you're not that interested in
it anymore because it's just there whenever you want it.
You're letting them make the decision. It's intuitive for them.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
It's intuitive streaming, screen parenting. Yep.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, so I actually think that's really great in that aspect.
So good on you.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Now the teeth, Oh look, I mean it is tricky
to get boys to brush their teeth. Yes, this is
the one thing that I would probably push for as
a parent with a child that has had a few feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Oh, it's a long term investment, isn't it. I hadn't
even thought of it.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
You do the teeth brushing, I would say more just
for the saving of the ball ache of going to
the dentist and getting a filling. I would recommend pushing
a little harder on that particular one.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I think ones they've got their adult teeth, you know
what their baby teeth are gonna come out anyway.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, but nine you do have them, so you do? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the grown up teeth.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Can you tell I've only got a three year old? Yes,
I've got that.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Stay at least I'm here for you to show you
the air of your future.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Way, So what are we rating this one?
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I think that this one, I just feel like she's
doing a great job. Yeah, there's a little room for improvement,
but you know, we can all improve. No one's nailing
every area of life parenting. No, I'm going to give
her eight fillings out of ten.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You know what I love about this and what the
absence of in this is there's no guilt. Yes, she's
not feeling bad. She's actually proud of herself for this,
and I love that. So for that, I'm going to
give her a few extra points and she can have
eight and a half screens out of ten.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
All right, moving on, anywhere is a toilet. I'm going
to read out this confession to protect the annominymity?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Are we going to change the name parents and an
anonymity in this?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Might learn how to say that work for next time.
I had a very colicky, unsettled baby, and when she
was about five months old, I had to drive with
her alone in the car for about an hour to
a specialist. I was terrified the whole time and so
frazzled getting everything organized that I forgot to pee. So
by the time I pulled up at the address, I
(09:02):
was busting, and that pelvic floor was not in top
shape anymore. I hadn't been able to stop on the
wave because, as anyone knows, if you stop even for
a second of the baby, they'll scream and you'll cry,
and it'll just be a total mess. So when I
pulled up, it was in a residential street. There were
no toilets around, and by that point the dam was
(09:23):
about to burn. I didn't know if the specialists had
a waiting room toilet or even where the entrance was,
so in a moment of desperation, I had to pull
out two of my daughter's nappies and just release right
there in the car. My poor baby had to stay
in the same nappy for four hours because I then
had to ration her for the rest of the day.
(09:48):
So let's unpack from the top. I want to hear
what you think of this first. A one hour drive
with a five month off is a ball ake, was brave.
There's points for bravery just in that mission alone. Your
pelvic floor will never be in good shape again.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Let's just sw You and I both know this well.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I am what last baby nine years postpartum LBL. It's
a lifelong condition.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
It is. You and I cross our legs every time
we laugh at one another. We're doing it we're doing
it right now, just in case.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I'm actually I'm surprised that producer Grace doesn't put plastic
on our chairs. I called this, it's that dire, this
grab for nappies. It's a macguiva move.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
It is it is.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It is quick thinking, it's protecting the car seats. And
I think if there had to be a choice between
mum being wet or a baby living in a wet
nappy for four hours, I definitely choose the baby.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
An Alice, I'm going to say something, and I'm glad
you think all of these things because, in the spirit
of confessions, that is actually me. That was me you
I had to go in a nappy. I told you
I have a week pelvic floor.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
You wat in the car into two nappy Look, because.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
If I had questions much, ok, you can ask me
the answers. You can ask me while I was busting. Look,
it was desperate times. It was a bear grills macguy
iv a move.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
That's what I said, mcgui.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I had no option. I had to go. It was
either there or in my tights on the side of
the street.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
My first question is why did you two nappies? Because
because I.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Didn't know how much liquid they feel very heavy after
a full night and your baby in them, but I didn't.
I needed to have a second layer of protection in cave.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
And then my other question is did anyone walk past? No?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Thank goodness, but it was. There was little old men
that walked past. Right before I got to this point.
As I was, I had a bit of a Sophie's
choice moment where I just didn't know what to do.
Like I was like, do I get the baby out?
Do I do this? I don't know what to do.
I was panicking, and so I went with this option. Oh,
I actually can't believe I've admitted this on a public podcast,
(12:00):
but here we are either I am thrilled. Well, look,
so what are you rating me? I'm raiding myself a
ten out of ten.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Obviously for the mcguiver like quick thinking that just alone
is impressive for sparing your car and your clothes, but
for the bravery of publicly share this, attaching a name
and a face and knowing how you know you actually
do get embarrassed in life. I do. For me to
(12:28):
admit this, it wouldn't be as brave, But for you,
I'm going eleven. Nappies out of all. Oh, thanks my
highest score.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think I deserve it.
It's a good sight.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Out of mind. Do the reading.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Here we go, Stacy. My fourth baby was a few
months old and still breastfeeding through the night. My husband
was into state for work when the four kids and
I all got a stomach bug. I had two year
old twins in nappies and the diarrhea was so runny
that no nappy could contain it. There was literal boo
(13:10):
buddles around the house, but I was so sick that
I just had to put a towel down on top
of the puddles and leave them for later. It was
absolutely foul. I'm convinced there is no possible sickness scenario
worse than this.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Two year old.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Twins and snappies and a stomach bug for all five
of them.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
And your solo parenting.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Ah, look, you deserve a gold medal just for the
parenting of four well children. In my eyes, yes, on a.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Regular day without a Poonami, crist exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
That is an incredible feat. Minus the pooh puddles. Just
how you get through every day. This is awful. This
is one of those scenarios where you go. This has
to be a joke, like, this isn't my actual life.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And you know what the hardest thing is, there's no
one you can call it. No, you cannot invite another
human into that environment. No, there's pooh on the floor,
there's towels. I hope there wasn't dogs, because that just
would have added the dogs had been eating the pooh. Like,
I'm just hoping there wasn't a dog in that scenario.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
This is pretty much as bad as it gets. But
I think you did exactly what you needed to do
in that moment and just get through it. Stick a
towel on top of it. Deal with it later, you
know how, Like you close the laundry door. Yeah, as
far as you're concerned, it's cleaning there, and you deal
with it later.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I'm hoping the towels wire put in the bin, not washed. Yeah,
just a small look.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
But I hope you had a few good budget towels
on hand that you were ready to.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I don't want to put those in the washing machine.
That's just straight in the bin. Scoop it up in
the bin, Glen twenty, move on. Yeah, this is a
hurt locker. Yeah kind of scenario. This is a this
is war.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I think it's fabulous that you shared this, and so
I'm giving you nine and a half pooh puddles out
of ten. That's pretty bad.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I'm going to give you nine pounamis. Yeah, yeah, a
lot of strong finish. I still think that anywhere is
a toilet, which was the theme of your overshare which
I read out, which I will never forget as long
as I live. I think that you are the winner
of today. I can't wait to tell everyone about this
(15:22):
at work and for everyone to hear it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
So if you've got a confession, we'd love to hear it.
Please send us your secret chains. All the details are
in the show notes, and I promise you they are
so anonymous that producer Grace didn't even know that that
one was mine, so really didn't know.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
No one knew.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
You are completely anonymous. It doesn't even show up your
emails and not send them on through.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
A nonminimity guarantee guarantee Indeed, we'll see you next scene,
next time. If you're looking for something else to listen to,
Mama Miya is officially presenting one hundred hours of summer
listens from Meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty, and more.
(16:03):
There's a link in the show notes
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