Hole in My Heart Podcast

As ministry leaders and therapists (Matt and Laurie), we have often wondered: When do church leaders and pastors utilize therapists and para-church ministries and when do they care on their own?

Do pastors always outsource?

Do they never outsource?

What role does the church have for families in crisis?

Let’s talk about it with author and psychologist (and lover of the Church), Jennifer Ripley.

| Highlights |

• “The church…will b...

If the average age of pornography exposure is between 8 and 12 years old, and the majority of Christians are looking at it regularly, we need to talk about it. 

Specifically, documentary creator and author John Michael Bout helps us ask and answer:

How can we help our kids prepare to see it?

How can we help them recover?

What hope do we have?

| Highlights |

• “Parents are often like, ‘We live in a technological world. I ...

It’s so easy to identify as “I am what I do” or “I am how I feel.”

The next generations especially seem to feel this pull.

How can we help Gen Z and Alpha understand who they are in Christ? How can we start with our own identity so we speak from a place of firm-footing instead of hypocrisy? Author and therapist Jonathan Holmes is here to help lead us.

| Highlights |

• “A gospel identity is one that is received and not achieved.”...

Many parents feel a mixture of emotions about screens: On one hand, we see they can be useful tools. On the other, we feel a lot of shame because we are probably addicted to them ourselves and we let our kids use them too often.

We feel shame, anger, and . . . gratitude?

How should we feel? 

How can parents approach screen time with their kids—and move us all from fighting to flourishing?

Christian dad, tech-guru, and found...

Parents and caregivers of the next generation need help to lead their kids in an affirming-LGBTQ world.

Our guest and author, Rachel Gilson, said it well on today’s episode: “Even my friends who had great discipling moms and dads didn’t grow up in this cultural moment. Their moms and dads didn’t have to help them navigate these cultural questions.”

She continued: “So even they feel out on a limb: ‘No one prepped me for this.’ T...

Discipleship is something Christians are talking about more.

It’s so important. But…what is it?

Today, author and pastor Eun (EK) Strawser helps understand what discipleship is as well as:

--How can we become a community that centers discipleship?

--How can we know if we are doing it “right”?

--How does parenting relate to discipleship?

| Highlights |

• “Discipleship means to imitate Jesus within the context of a c...

This episode left us speechless.

Today, we are joined again by psychologist and author Dan Allender to talk about the most important part of parenting: Your marriage. 

(If you are a single mom or dad, we bless you and intersperse much of the conversation with relating the conversation to close friendships.)

For those of us who are married, why is that the most important part of marriage? Dan tells us well: 

“Our children ar...

To launch our spring season focused on parenting and discipling the next generation, we are starting with YOUR QUESTIONS.

We toss around: 

“What parts of ‘the sex talk’ were helpful for us when we were growing up?”

“How can we protect our kids’ bodies without being a helicopter parent?”

“How can we approach school systems that don’t agree with our beliefs?”

“Should we talk to our kids about p*rn even if they don’t have unlimited ac...

Happy new year! Let’s talk about friendships? 

Author and pastor Bryan Loritts joins us today to discuss:

• Are friendships seasonal? (Should they be?)
• How can we make and keep lifelong friends?
• How should we think about boundaries with friends?

| Highlights |

• “The reason so many of our relationships are superficial is we are too scared of taking the time and the risk to walk in truth with each other.” 
• “There i...

If you care about the gender conversation at all, we believe this conversation is critical.

Dr. Abigail Favale wrote Laurie’s favorite book on gender this year called “The Genesis of Gender,” and the conversation about it is—*chef’s kiss*—rich and practical.

Together, they talk about:

• —Is sexual difference an afterthought of the Bible?
• How can we define woman and man?
• Is the fact that intersex people exist the proverbial “trum...

We LOVED this conversation.

In the midst of divisive ... everything… in the world today, it reminded us about what really matters: JESUS. THE GOSPEL. And that sharing Jesus (evangelism) is an absolute joy when you love Him.

Theologian, author, and our friend, David Bennett, is the one who reminds us of our first love (Jesus), and also helps us think through:

• —Why should we tell people about Jesus?
• How can we make it less...

We’re trying something new called Laurie’s Book Club, where “she reads the book so you don’t have to.

Granted, we would love it if you read the book and “discussed” it alongside us on the pod, but if you’re anything like most of the world, you’d love to hear a summary of the book, any major nuggets, a little discussion, and call it a day.

That’s what we are starting today!

The book of focus is Jonathan Haidt’s instant NYTimes...

Suffering, eh? Sounds … super … fun. 

Ya know, the older we get, the more we realize just how important our theology of suffering is when we are … well, suffering.

As Kelly Kapic said in today’s episode, “You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on.” 

For example, if we think suffering should be escaped, *when* we suffer we will try to outrun it. (Which is hard to do if we ar...

When I [Laurie] met Kat, she was planning to marry her girlfriend and was considering transitioning to male.

But God was already drawing Kat to Himself, and He tapped me on the shoulder to join the process.

Hear the whole discipleship journey between us today on the podcast.

| Highlights |

• “I would be doing absolutely nothing and I would feel this conviction...

A new Barna study says 54% of Christians watch p*rnography. This number is only 7 percentage points behind the percent of all U.S. adults who consume it (61%).

We need help. How can we get the help we need for our addictions at a soul-deep level? Author and therapist Sam Jolman is here to assist.

Together, we discuss:

• —Is male sexuality just extra broken or what? 
• —How can we (as men and women) process our first encounter with ...

Many of us grew up in the church hearing that weakness was a good thing: In our weakness, God is strong through us.

If that’s true, why does weakness feel so terrible?

Today, we talk with author, podcaster, and pastor, Eric Schumacher about “the good gift of weakness,” why many of us don’t like it, and why it is the best place to thrive as a human being.

We also discuss:

• —How did Eric’s “failing at ministry” help him to recover...

Something we so appreciate about Dr. Preston Sprinkle is he doesn’t tell us what to think, he encourages us to think about what we are thinking about.

When it comes to engaging politics, we need people to help us think about politics biblically first.

If you’re like us, you’re all done with politics…yesterday. 

And yet, we cannot escape it. Is there a way to engage it without ...

If you have ever struggled to process your story (and who hasn’t??), this episode is for you.

Author, teacher, and child-of-a-one-time angry father, Lisa Jo Baker, takes us by the hand and guides us to take the tiniest look back so we can move forward into healing.

| Main Themes |

• Why do we avoid going back into our stories?
• Why do we need to? (Do we need to?)
• How can you write a book about the most painful places in our lives?
...