June 25, 2025 • 55 mins
Lea Lexis began her journey as a competitive gymnast in Romania, but everything changed when she was scouted for porn—launching her into a world that would redefine her completely. She brought her gymnastics talent into her scenes: think sex 20 feet in the air, suspended on silks. But Lea was ambitious and used her many talents: from backwards bending blowjobs to set building to wardrobe design (is there anything this woman CAN’T do?) to get ahead in the industry.
She opens up about crying mid-scene, regretting a DP in a handstand, and why porn became the safest place to explore desires that were never accepted where she came from. She has demolished houses, shot feral scenes in the rubble, and reclaimed every part of herself in the process.
Now, as a director and producer for brands such as Brazzers, Digital Playground, and Twistys, Lea brings that same fearless energy behind the camera. Her performer background shaped her into a woman who deeply understands the value of trust, safety, and respect on set—because she’s lived it. And now, she’s cultivating the kind of sets she always wished existed.
Want more? The uncut episode, a spicy bonus Q&A with Lea Lexis, and all the behind-the-
scenes chaos we can’t show here are waiting for you on Patreon. You know where to go.
Want to improve the taste, volume, and health of your semen? Load Boost is what you’ve been looking for. Visit loadboost.com and use code [HOLLY] for 10% off or click the link in the below: https://vb.health/supplements-for-sex/?utm_source=holly&coupon-code=holly
Wanna feel like a VIP without lifting a damn finger? Head to linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive
deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might moan a little.
Thirsty for the good stuff before anyone else? Slide into my Patreon at patreon.com/hollyrandallunfiltered for early drops, live interviews, and all the wild, unfiltered chaos we can’t post in public. Come play backstage.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Watch the uncut/uncenored versions with bonus Q&As exclusively on Patreon.https://www.patreon.com/c/hollyrandallunfiltered
Find me on all social media platforms - HollyLinks.com
Hit up linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might blush.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
She opens up about crying mid-scene, regretting a DP in a handstand, and why porn became the safest place to explore desires that were never accepted where she came from. She has demolished houses, shot feral scenes in the rubble, and reclaimed every part of herself in the process.
Now, as a director and producer for brands such as Brazzers, Digital Playground, and Twistys, Lea brings that same fearless energy behind the camera. Her performer background shaped her into a woman who deeply understands the value of trust, safety, and respect on set—because she’s lived it. And now, she’s cultivating the kind of sets she always wished existed.
Want more? The uncut episode, a spicy bonus Q&A with Lea Lexis, and all the behind-the-
scenes chaos we can’t show here are waiting for you on Patreon. You know where to go.
Want to improve the taste, volume, and health of your semen? Load Boost is what you’ve been looking for. Visit loadboost.com and use code [HOLLY] for 10% off or click the link in the below: https://vb.health/supplements-for-sex/?utm_source=holly&coupon-code=holly
Wanna feel like a VIP without lifting a damn finger? Head to linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive
deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might moan a little.
Thirsty for the good stuff before anyone else? Slide into my Patreon at patreon.com/hollyrandallunfiltered for early drops, live interviews, and all the wild, unfiltered chaos we can’t post in public. Come play backstage.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Watch the uncut/uncenored versions with bonus Q&As exclusively on Patreon.https://www.patreon.com/c/hollyrandallunfiltered
Find me on all social media platforms - HollyLinks.com
Hit up linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might blush.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Strength. Hello, everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered, My
guest today is a performer turned award winning director who
is championing the role of women in the director's chair
(00:35):
and setting a new standard for cinematic storytelling. She's currently
contracted with a Loo, the powerhouse behind some of the
industry's biggest brands, including Browsers, Twistis, and Digital Playground. Her
work blends artistry, empowerment, and unapologetic eroticism, and she's here
to talk about how she's changing the game from the
inside out. Welcome Leah Lexis, Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Hi, how are you good? That was beautiful good.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm glad that you like to chat. GBT did a
great job.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It was nice.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I put in the prompts and I said, write something
lovely and like she's done this and this, she's award winning.
Talk about how it's important that she is a female
director and she works for these big brands, and just
put it in a nice way. So but I put
in all the nice things. Yes, it just had to
put it out in a nice way, now you know
(01:30):
my secret. How dare you AI's taking our jobs? Anyways?
So Leah, should we start from the beginning?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
All right? So you have a very unique origin story
in the industry. You were actually scouted because of your
gymnastics background. So tell us a little bit about where
you're from and your actual gymnastics background.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Born and raised in Romania. M hm. So part of
I guess cultural thing we're proud of is that we
have good gymnastic good soccer players. So I did gymnastics
from four years old until sixteen ish, was part of
the national team. We did competitions. I got quite a
few titles, but I had at that time the equivalent
(02:19):
of a Facebook.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It was high five.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So somebody wrote to me, it's like, you can be
a star, you can be amazing, and I was like, Ah, said,
but no, you could be great. You should come on
a porn set. I was like, I would never do that,
but I do want to see a porn set.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Ah, So you were curious, But yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I worked at it like I had like a silly job,
like a bank. I was selling Avon cosmetics and like
bank services. I was like, I would never do that.
But I do want to see a porn set.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I was just curious, were you like sexual, like from
a young age or okay, very much.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
So I felt like my mind has always wandered in
the DSM before I could even understand it. I thought
it was cool that all it got tied onto the
train tracks, just didn't know why. Yeah, and later on
all things made more sense and I was like, hmm,
maybe that's why I like certain things.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, that made more sense.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
But I got to the set and they were like
wiping the girls feet with baby wipes and everybody was
like buzzing around her, and I was like, oh, it's
so different than what I thought it would be. So
I got more interested in that environment than the porn
itself because it was a contradiction to everything I've heard
in Romania at that time.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
So what did you heard? Like, what were you going
and expecting to see?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I think it's that visual of like the gonzo porn
we used to shoot twenty years ago. I thought it
was that energy at all times, not knowing that there's
in between cut. Everybody caters to the female so much
more and the guys are just a tool into the
the scene, not necessarily the driving force, the females the
(04:04):
driving force, and on camera it got portrayed totally different.
The guys took all the action and did everything, and
the girl was just there being like flipped around and
stuff done to her. She never had a say, and
then when the camera cut, like she had all the
say and I was like mind blown by that.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, I was like whoa, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Because Romania is also like very like male centric. It's
just so I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, and so you saw that scene, So then what
was the next step for you? Were you then considering
getting into it or I.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Kind of got more curious. So there was a production
house that they rented, so I went and visited that
house and they were shooting one seen outside. Once he inside,
then I kind of like spent I think, like a
weekend there, just like observing how they were doing it.
I never felt pretty enough to do more, so I
thought like I needed to do all the extrage net
(05:00):
stick stuff. So I started doing the flips and the things,
and they got like excited about it. I got this like, oh,
you could do this, Like there's a place for you
in here. You're not the prettiest girl with the biggest
boobs or the teas blown there, but you could do this.
It's like, okay, I think I want to do this.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
So what was the reason that you decided to do it?
Like what was the final thing that pushed you to
make that decision? And then how did you make that decision?
Like did you tell your family first?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So you just like went in and my mom found
out by somebody bringing her a DVD copy.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I was always very independent and I had my own job.
I like moved out, so it was a little bit
easier to not say the whole truth from the get go,
So I kind of continued side of my job and
continued porn so I could get away with it a
little bit. So when she found out, she was just like,
are you safe? Is anybody forcing you to do this?
(05:58):
I was like no, So then I kind of ease
my way into that. I can't pinpoint the reason of
why I wanted.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
To do it.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I don't think it was like fully because of this.
I also just wanted to experience the different things, like
I wanted to do this type of scene and this
type of movie, and I wanted to travel and be like,
let's move to Budapest. That sounds fun. I'll do this
for a little while, and then it kind of gained momentum.
But I never saw it as a career long term.
(06:27):
I just wanted the different experiences. I remember talking to
my friends about like glamorizing a gang bang, but like,
how do you do a gang bank safely? Like I
think you do it in horn Like I don't think
go about doing it randomly.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I could never find a way to like organize that.
It was like shameful. But like going for like a
horn shoe, that's like a professional setting and you get
to have that experience. It was a little bit less
guilty feeling.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, because then you could hire professionals.
You're on a set, your stranded by team action team,
so like nothing could really go wrong because you were
in an environment where everybody's working. Yeah. How quickly did
you move into hardcore when you started shooting porn?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Immediately? And I don't think in Europe there was any
like negotiation. I'll just do girl girl, either you did
it or somebody else got the job. In Europe especially
was that mentality like if you don't do a you know,
we're not gonna wait for you. We're just gonna book
this Russian girl. She does it, that's why one hundred
bucks whatever. So it was like, either you want to
(07:35):
do it, you get the job. You don't want to
do it, no problem, will book somebody else. They wouldn't
wait for you. They weren't like career milestones. We're shooting
the same old movie. You want to be in it? Cool?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
We wouldn't even be extra really yeah interesting, like you,
I mean like extra as a first You still get
extra as the act itself, but not as a first, right.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
So there was no like showcase that you could wait
for and you do all this first and get all
his money and the marketing and.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah yeah, not for me at that time. So either
like you want to do these movies that are booking
for the next few months, or say you know, to
them and somebody else. But for me as an experience,
it wasn't like they get the money right away. It
was like, oh, I want to do that. Like working
for the first time man Fara, I was like so amazing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Did you know who he was before you started working
with him? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I used to watch porn, I used to consume porn
to some extent, so like seeing some of the bigger
names at that time, like Manuel was like.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Whoa yeah wow.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Steve Holmes has the story that he always like says
to everybody. He says, I remember the first time when
I shot it, I know with you and you said,
either you're a really good actress or you like it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I was like my first atal cne ever were you
a good actress or did you like it? Like okay,
so tell me about tell me about the first game
bank that you did.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Like it was a little bit now looking back, a
little too strong in the sense it was that those
Conzole type of days. Girls walks down the stairs in
Stripper Hills, seized hair, makeup.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Like this yeah the makeup, yeah, that runs at the
end of the scene, and.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Five eyes came from left and right. I remember there
was one Romanian actor, Mugor. He slapped me and it
was such a shock. I turned my head around the
couch and I got like a disreaction of tears and
I was like, am I cry?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I was?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I know, it must just because it was a shock,
and I turned back and I like got right into it.
But nobody asked, nobody checked it was like strong to realize,
like the experience it wasn't what I imagine it to be.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But right, so like looking back on that and thinking
about how it is now, you know as a director
must be you know, the comparison is kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, we've been through like man, such an extreme contrast
of the industry. Yeah, it was what else extra can
we do to this girl? How more can we top
from the last scene? If she's a good actress, she's
a good born star, she will do it all and more.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You were definitely known for like your hardcore scenes, and
you did a lot of contortion positions as a performer.
Is there a scene that really sticks out to you
as like the most memorable one, whether or not it
was something that was really difficult for you to do,
or like a scene that was maybe the most proud
of or just like the craziest experience.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I used to put myself in like these positions that
later on I would regret heavily, but I felt like
I wanted to stand out in my own way. So
I would be like, well, what if we do a DP.
Well I'm in a handstand and I'll just do the
split and the guys can like enter from the top
like a pile driver, but I'm in split and I'll
be like, amazing, Yeah, let's do it. And having to
(11:00):
hold that while you're being pushed on and like grabbed on,
and the guys are trying to get their edge because
it's a difficult position they push so they're trying to
hold onto you, so putting extra pressure on your wrists,
on your hand, now your face is all ready they're
like a vein popping on your Yeah, Like I should
have kept my mouth shut. I should have done going
(11:21):
all of these positions that I've wanted to do that
they were special. Halfway through I would regret it.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I was like, god damn, And did you get sick
of like people asking you to always do contortion positions
and like every single scene because I remember me and
mel Covid telling me that because she didn't do that
backwards being low job, and then everyone wanted it, and
she was like at some point she was like, I
just I don't want to do this in every scene.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
She's a very pretty girl. To me, I felt like
I had to like that's why their booked to me,
That's why I'm here.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
So like I would like stretch before going to work.
I would warm up or like I would like tape
my wrist and like try to get the extra strength.
Because I did scenes when I was like suspended in
aerial silks. I did that in a videos and world,
I did that in regular porn. Like anything I could
bring extra, I was happy to do it. I didn't
(12:12):
feel bad about it because I was like, that's gonna
be special, it's going to be different. But yeah, I
never felt bad about it. But they were more exhausting
than yeah, than exciting pleasurable.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Do you think that that standing handstand DP was the
hardest scene you've ever done?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
The hardest one was a scene I deald with Stoya
where we were probably twenty feet up in the air.
She was on hoop and I was on silks and
we never touched the ground. The whole scene was suspended up.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
In the air.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
But like your wrists and everything, it's like it gets tiring,
and it's the position is good, the chemistry is good.
You try to push through, but also there's like a
safety factor. We were in San Francisco, the armory concrete
on the like if you fall, you.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Fall, so there was no crash fat or anything.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Guess we were we can do that. They're like, okay,
go ahead and do it. Then we did our own
rigging because I think when you're an area list, you
prefer to do your own rigging. Yeah, so we did
our own rigging and we just climbed up and did
the scene and we didn't wow that many breaks. To me,
that was difficult to shoot. Nobody used the crane they
(13:26):
were imprepped for while we were gonna do properly, so
it doesn't look as good, but to me it was cool. Yeah,
it was a very cool scene to shoot. She was
a little bit.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah, I've worked with story before.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
What is the scene that you are like most proud of?
Like if I know you're not shooting anymore, so if
you look back on like your catalog of work, like
what is the one scene or maybe movie that you
did that you're like, that is that was my high point.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
It's a little bit of a blur because I guess
you don't get that comes up when you're shooting the
scene if you know it's going to do good or
be well received, and even when it gets like let's
say an award, you wouldn't know, like, you know, was
it really loved or just people thought it was crazy
enough to There's like movies, like like movies that I
(14:20):
helped write or made the costumes for that I felt
like I could bring more than just my performance that
made me feel very good for it. Sexually, Yeah, there's
just so many different ones. I wouldn't be able to
like Pinpoint one. It's also almost twenty years of now
a long time.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Is there one brand that you shot for that you
think like possesses the most amount of like your best work.
Sounds like you did a lot of stuff for King.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I did, and I I learned a lot of myself
with King. It was also we were working and my
team was cruel only females, and I feel like they're
more inquisitive to find out what is it that you're
really about versus then just getting the job done so
(15:09):
camera pas like even the team at Kink, they were
interested in you, like your passions, what triggers your spark
of insanity, what makes you want to go fully immersed
into a feeling? And there was a lot of fun,
beautiful stuff there. I have good mentors there too. So
(15:29):
many people who have worked at Kink have reported like
a really good experience, which I know people from the
outside who look at hardcore BATSM think it's the opposite.
But it's really interesting how the behind the scenes and
we'll get into this later, but they were really heavy
on that consent game and the boundary checklist before Vanilla
(15:49):
Porn ever went there. I've used quite a bit of
my experience there too to kind of help and bring
that to our sets currently. Yeah, because you see the
effect of it. There was was all of that pushback,
I don't care, I'm yes to everything, but don't pull
my hair. Then that and it'd be like, it's so valuable, Yeah,
(16:12):
so valuable.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, So Leah, when did you pivot from
performing to working behind the scenes and ultimately becoming a director.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
It happened on and off through my career quite often,
even when I was in Europe. I remember Christopher Clark,
French director, used to work for you Will Bake Name.
At that time. I was like, yeah, here, I remember
you just put a camera in my hand. He was like, hey, like,
while you're getting ready start shooting some stuff, and I
(16:48):
was like, how do I start? I remember that She's like,
spin around, and then drop the camera into what you're
looking at. I was like cool. So I remember I
did a little and as I'm spinning, I'm like looking
around like ballet spin right, I'm like what am I seeing?
What am I sitting? And I'm like dropping the camera
up like what I'm looking at? And then the girls
are getting ready and I'm doing like this interview part
(17:10):
and I was like interesting. I was like, oh wow,
They're like this is fun because I do like I
love women and I have like I think porn should
be made by perverts, so like I was like literally
perv on them like oh that's hat if I Oh
that's exciting, Oh that's cool, And time would pass and
then you grab the camera like this is great, like
(17:31):
thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Where do you think he singled you out for that?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I would think that, like I've always been a hard worker,
but I know it's more than that. But maybe something
that I wouldn't catch on, like maybe he would see
me like lean into this perversion. And I have like
a similar mindset. I feel like porn kept me safe
because if it wasn't for porn, I would wander off
in my perversion and unsafe environments. M that's interesting, especially
(17:59):
like where I come from, Like you can't necessarily be
a lesbian, you can necessarily want to have sex with
multiple men or because you would be pushed away by society.
So now you have this like frustration sexual frustration that's
wondering crazy in your mind. So in a way, that
kept me safe, Like it was like fun and celebrated
(18:22):
to be a purve.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
You were in like this community that accepted you.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
And more than that, you felt good because they were
like giving you like just this praise. Oh yeah, that's great.
More of that great?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah, So okay, so he so he started shooting some bts.
So where did that take you?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I actually ended up doing wardrobe for some of the
stuff as well. Maybe again and like tight into my
love of like women and like beauty in the sense
I wanted to dress them and then it would be
really cool to be behind the camera and see them
undress I've made for them. So I did that. I
(19:03):
helped with production management. I would book certain things, like
I get there were like a few Romanian girls that
were we were a gang. We all like lived together.
So I'm like, you know such and such, Absolutely, I'll
contact I'll get my manager in place, and we will
like book a movie. So I think that kind of
fell naturally into place like production management. So while you
(19:28):
were there, I would like to make a cool dress
for her. What would you dress her in? We could
shoot her at this location. And it like took a
natural turn, Like I never thought I would do that job,
but I kept on doing the job in one form
or another.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So it just became like a natural progression. And then
how did you end up here in the US directing
for a.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Low I directed for a few different companies before. So
I came here with a different company that was established
in Budapest, was run by Romanian director, but I still,
you know, help and like book certain things. So I
came here with that company and he was also directing
for Evil Angel, so he asked me to drop off
(20:10):
a hard drive at Evil. So I go drop a
hard drive at Evil and I have a hat on
and John stall Janovich is always like are youly? Alexis
so my god, you know it's going to do this
movie with you or we do contortion and gymnastics, and
I was like amazing. So like I got to work
more for different companies and I ended up working with
Evil quite a bit, like quite a few years, and
(20:34):
I worked with John closely on like a few bigger movies.
We did Voracious together, like we shut it in like
three countries and we traveled around and we did cool stuff.
I worked with Jason and I helped him with production
a little bit. We went to Romania and we shot
like different movies there. So I kept on getting pulled in.
I never thought like I would be like, I'll go
(20:56):
to America and now knock at some doors and hope
they get me out. People would like recognize me, and
I was like shocking to me, but also flattering, like
I want to do this movie with you. I was
like that's amazing, Like of course, and I'll stay another
few months and I'll go back and come back in
and be like, well, we're going to do this movie.
So I stayed in another few months, kind of like
(21:17):
always always called me back in For a while. I
thought I was going to stop, and I started my
clothing line and they'll be like, do you want to
do this movie?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Do this movie. So I kept on being pulled in.
Then at King Bobby Starr gave me, gave me my
directing door, and I said you should you should direct
this movie and you should work on the type of things.
I was like, oh my god, amazing, I would love to.
And then from that we took like a few different
other websites. There was like the Girl Gol website and
(21:51):
the Gang Bang website, then a few different ones in
that group. Tony reebas Uh brought me into the Ala
world as his makeup and production manager, and then Alo
gave me the chance and was.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Like, so you did make up too. I didn't make
up for a few years. Everything a few years because
I had forgotten that you did wardrobe, because I remember
I think Shari told me that one year for AVN,
like I think we were doing something. She was like,
oh I got to go see Liah. She's like designing
my dress or something. I'm like, she makes wardrobe like that.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
For eight years, eight or nine years, I did dressing.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, yeah, and then you did make up too. Didn't
make up too. Is there anything you don't do?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
It's away things I don't know. Well that I like
to talk about the social media, the worst that is
in the world out there.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, that's that's a lot. It's a lot. Okay. So
so then you were doing uh, makeup and production for
Tony and then you and then how did that? Because
I remember, like the first time I started seeing you
regularly was during COVID when we started having those meetings
(23:09):
with when it was at my Geek at the time,
and we started having the meetings about like actually kind
of about like the boundary checklist that we were starting
to bring in, and you were giving a lot of
feedback on how that would work, you know, having been
a model and having that very valuable perspective.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I think during COVID there was that time when we
were first enough to stand still to look at what's
going on, yeah, and spend time on social media, and
I didn't know a lot of these stories that were
coming up.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Like in a way though, like it's when I interview
people to hire them, or I talk to other people,
like what's your motivation? What do you want to be here?
And then people ask me that. Then I was like,
what is my motivation? I've never asked myself that because
I've always went with the flow and let's do bigger things,
let's do better things, keep going, And I said my motivation.
(24:02):
I think it was kind of in that COVID moment
when it became so clear to me deeper story. We
were sitting on a meeting during COVID for distribution with
another director that used to work for a bigger company
that put me in like the most uncomfortable situations for
(24:22):
a very long time. And I remember sitting down at
this meeting across from this person going like, that's my motivation.
You won't do everything that you did to me, Like,
that's my motivation. We're going to change it in such
a way that we can. It still gets me. We
will change it and it will become like it will
(24:45):
become powerful for people to know you'll still be successful
if you don't go with like this environment. Because I
was questioning it at that time as like he was
putting pressure to be like is this normal? Like it's
poorn after all, so maybe it is normal. He is
being very nice to me. He's booking me for so
(25:07):
many movies. You see what I do for you. I
booked you again and again and again.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So he's pressuring you for like sexual favor.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, And I never gave in in that sense. But
what I feel bad in my mind about it is
that I was negotiating with myself to be like he
is nice to me, he is booking me on so
many movies. I don't want to go and see it
because you'd be like, see, I booked you again. You're
(25:34):
supposed to like, but look everything I do for you,
I put you in all of these big movies, and
you're not going to do this? Yeah, what kind of
person are you? And I'm like, I am a bad person?
Just porn after all, I should probably.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, like I have sex for a living, Like exactly
why wouldn't yeah, like, why wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
This be a big deal?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And I felt wrong about it. And I've always been
in long term relationships and I was like, it feels
wrong to my relationship. But then it was like that
dynamic that I was like, I just don't want the
movie anymore. I just go make the movie. It's a
big movie. You'll be good for you. Damn I don't
want it to it.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
So like that's why, like I felt like my motivation
riding that COVID time, I was like, that's why I'm
doing this because there's people like this still around and
we can still make porn and we can still do good.
And to this day, so many girls come to me
and be like Lee, I want your career path. And
I'm like, that's why, Like we can make cool movies,
(26:33):
but we can still not feel so dirty and guilty
and ashamed about it. And I have this like heart
of like a little flea in your chest when you
walk on set, you'd be here. He goes again, and
he's not busy, so he's gonna come after me. Yeah,
and everybody's busy, but he's not busy, so he's gonna
come after.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Me right now. Yeah. Yeah, that's a horrible place to be.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, they'll turn dark quick.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
No, it's okay. I have a feeling I know who
you're talking. But of course we're not gonna say yeah,
but I have a feeling. You know, it's crazy. I
have a sort of similar story, but I actually never
think about it. And this actually happened to me like
a long time ago when I was a kid and
I was like, I don't know, fourteen, I wanted to
be a model, and there was this super creepy guy
(27:21):
named rich who, Rich Leon who used to hang out
Malibu and he used to shoot like young girls for
like his portfolio, and he would tell you that he
was going to get you on the cover of Why Am.
That's how old I am? Young and young and modern.
That was a magazine back in the day, Why Am,
and you know, like a teen mag and all this
kind of stuff, and so, I mean his portfolio was
(27:43):
literally like fourteen and fifteen year olds like in bikinis.
Like looking back at it now, I'm just like, what
the what was I thinking? Right?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
So of course he came to me, I, Holly, I CA.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
That's how we talked, Holly, I can make you alm
modeling and god, I'll get you on the com around
these magazines. And of course I totally felt for it,
told my mom, and my mom was like mmmmmm so,
but I begged her and the only way that she
would let him shoot me was if he came to
the house and he shot me at the house. There
(28:16):
was no fucking way she was gonna let me be
alone with him. And even then I was like, you
can't be around, you can't watch, like I don't want
you anywhere near it, and she was like, okay, you
guys can be in the yard, like I won't be
like watching, but I will be like there. And it
was like this huge battle that I had with her
because I was sure that she was wrong and she
was being overprotective for no reason. And yeah, the entire
(28:40):
time he was trying to get a pany shot. He
tried to get me to take my clothes off, and
I had this like sheer dress that had like a
slip under, and he tried to get me to take
my clothes off and wear only the slip that was
completely see through. Like I mean, he was literally trying
to get like, yeah, pornographic shots on a fourteen year
old the whole time, and I just remember being like
(29:03):
it was a horrible experience and the pictures also turned
out so bad. And yeah, and I ended up taking
photography classes after that, and I really so actually I
started taking photography classes when I was twelve, so I
must have been I must have been twelve, then I
must have been younger, yeah, because it was around that time.
(29:27):
And yeah, and I remember like feeling like I don't
ever want anybody to feel the way that I felt
in that moment. And this is obviously way before I
thought I was ever going to get into porn, but
there was a sense of that for me too, like
that that feeling of like yeah and not knowing what
to say.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
It sticks with you for so long.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Yeah, it was an awful experience, and I would still
see him, like, up until a couple of years ago,
i'd occasionally see him around Malibu and he doesn't recognize
me anymore, Like that motherfucker is still still out there.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah, I feel like there's like these I don't know,
necessarily character building moments, but it's like these moments that
like fuel you and they'll give you their motivation for
the rest of your life. Yeah, like so significant and
course shifting for you. Yeah, I'll be like that never again.
Because some people teach you how to and some people
teach you how to not mm hm, and like I
(30:21):
feel like these people taught us how to not again.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, it's interesting because I was talking to my daughter
about teachers, and I was trying to explain to her
that there's teachers in your there's everyone's a teacher in
your life, but it's not like necessarily in the way
that you think they are, right, Like, there's your teachers
at school, but there are some people in your life
that are to teach you how to not. Like you said, like,
they teach you a different lesson that you don't expect,
(30:46):
and that definitely someone was a not a not teacher
for sure. But going back to the COVID moment, that
was such an interesting time for the adult industry because
I felt like that was really like a second Me
two wave for the adult industry that all these you
(31:08):
know women coming out on social media talking about these
these predatory, you know, male performers, these experiences that they'd had,
And I think that that was really fueled by the
success of OnlyFans, right, and now they had this financial
freedom and they felt they weren't worried about being blacklisted
anymore and losing work and they could speak out. And
(31:32):
now they had this platform, they had the social media
place that they could say these things and then other
women could be like me too. I had that as well.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I also feel like it's like sitting with your own thoughts.
It's such a powerful thing, but we never get to
do that. Yeah, So it's it's significant in like, you know,
getting like a little bit of meditation and inside thought,
they're developing your feelings. We never had that, and all
of a sudden we were forced to do that. Then
these things came up that we might have not thought
(32:03):
about them before because we got distracted with let's go
out with friends, let's do this movie, And all of
a sudden, you're forced with yourself. For weeks at a time,
you just sit and wonder about, like, what's going on,
what's going on? What's happening? Why am I feeling anxious?
Why am I feeling lonely? Scared? Like? Wow, that's why.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
So how do you think the industry has changed since then?
And do you think it's for the better?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yeah, Like I still have a hard time categorizing it
clearly because I feel like maybe we might be split now.
I used to say I love the content world, because
now everybody that's coming on set one thousand percent wants
to be on set. That's true, So they won't do
it to pay rent, they won't do it for a
financial incentive. But becoming famous now it's it's trumping all
(32:55):
of that. So now we're getting people on set that
just want the fame. I just want to be on
a big website that gives them the big.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Exposure, specifically browsers, right, And I hear that all the time,
And they do a browser scene because they want the traffic.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
But they don't love sex, right, So it's harder for
me to make a comfortable set where I push for
sexuality where they don't love sex. So it's harder to
push them to do a good passionate scene because they
don't love to be touched or they're not comfortable orgasming
on camera. There's this physical thing that you see them
clenching and pushing against the orgasm, like the feeling is
(33:30):
rushing over them, but they're like shying away and like
their face changes. They don't want they don't want to
experience it. They're like, whoa, they just want to be famous.
Did we get the pictures? They might get my social moment?
Now the sex scene.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Ah, you're like what, yeah, sport, it's a.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Beautiful porn Like have some time with your talent, let's
build up that teas and they'll be like, eh, yeah,
are you ready now? Damn it.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Yeah. I've definitely heard that feedback from quite a few
performers who've been in the industry for a long time.
They feel like some of the magic and the sex
has been removed from the scenes because of like the
boundary checklists and all these things that we go through.
But I think maybe it's more akin to what you're saying,
(34:18):
is that there's just more talent in the industry that
are there really with more of like a mindset of
as a like this is a marketing gig.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
I so stand behind the checklist and I don't think
it takes the magic away, even though that was the
argument at the beginning, we're making sets too clinical. We
have to check all of these things and nobody will
remember that. Sure, but to me, it's like having sex
with somebody for the first time, you won't give them
your ole because you don't know. But having sex with
(34:49):
somebody multiple times now you know what they like and
you can give them your ole. To me, that's that
boundary checklist. It lets me know what they don't like
so the performer can do more of what they like.
You get more out of it. They my god, they
love kissing. They love kissing. Amazing, and you get amazing
kissing scene when they like get lost into it and
(35:09):
they start grabbing each other. Beautiful. If you don't know
they love kissing, then it's kind of like you're trying
a little kiss and that's not as passionate then getting
together for the first time and really kissing. Yeah, So
to me, that boundary checklist can help us make magic. Yeah,
you just have to really take it serious. Yes, yes
to everythinke.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Sure, I agree with you from I mean definitely from
a director's perspective. I love it because it takes the
pressure off of trying to like guess when a performer
might be being pushed too far. Because you know, as
a woman, and I'm sure you feel the same way.
You feel like you can kind of read the room
and you can sort of tell if a girl is
(35:50):
uncomfortable or maybe not feeling something. But we can't say
for sure, right, we can't read minds. And I never
want any to walk away from a set feeling like
they had a bad experience. I'm sure you feel the
same way, But if they don't speak up, how could
you possibly know. And it's hard to set boundaries, especially
if you're young, I mean publicly in front of all
(36:12):
these people, in front of all these people that you
don't know. And so that boundary checklist gives you the opportunity,
the freedom to state those boundaries in a shame free
way where it's like no, really, please, like very specifically
tell us every single thing, and maybe even to consider
something that you wouldn't have ever thought to even mention like, oh,
(36:36):
I didn't think about like whether or not I would
like someone to like lick my toes. That actually sounds
like something I would really dislike. So I'm just gonna
say no. But that would have never occurred to me.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
We rooming girls don't come on set thinking a guy
will expect his ass, you know, but a performer will
be super into it and blowjob is happening, I'll just
grab her head, yeah, like once she's in that moment
like I don't like that. Yeah, right, So she never
thought about it until she got put in that situation.
So rather than killing that entire moment on set, that
(37:09):
the simple discussion before reaming, huh, I never thought about it.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Yeah, Like let's what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah? Or yeah? What is that? How is your work
life balance changed since you started leaning into like directing.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
You can tell this comes from a direct as pretty bad. Yeah,
it's pretty bad. I always think I'm failing in some
aspects of life because I do this. Yeah, there's no
way of doing this balance though I've tried at all
kinds of types of ways. It's the very demanding job
(37:48):
and it takes mental load at all times. There's no
way of doing it balanced.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
The only thing I can think about that I can
try to make peace with is balancing the extremes that
if I do should feature a bigger movie, I will
allow myself a few days after to like catch up
on my personal life. Yeah, spend time with my family
and have some moment there present, because while the feature
is happening or the bigger series is happening, I have
(38:16):
nothing for them, and I feel so guilty. There's no
way you finish up four. Yeah, in ninety four.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Get out of here.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, it's like a sixteen hours it's a common thing.
And these days, you know, they take weeks to shoot
and they take another week to prepare. It's probably going
to be my biggest regret as time passes.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah. I mean, and I think what a lot of
people don't realize is that an adult the director isn't
just the director. They're also the producer and like the
line producer and the story producer and sometimes the PA
and like the account.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
And the account. Oh my god, I hear that with
a passion.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yeah, yeah, yes, Unfortunately, it's we don't get the luxury
of like a big crew and like the budget for
a lot of people to do specific jobs. The director
has to take on so much. And it's interesting when
I see so many performers who are like, I want
to get into directing, and then they director a couple
(39:19):
of movies and they're like, this sucks. This pays me
significantly less than performing and it's so much more work.
I will never do this again. And I'm like, there
you go, like you really have to love it the motivation.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yet, the motivation has to be something else than money. Yeah,
because if it's only money, it's very much not worth it.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
We fortunately we were consistently. It's beautiful because when I
was a model, I wouldn't work as consistently. Like maybe
I'll have a fantastic two three months, but at that time,
all the companies have shot me, they had their movies
with me, so it will slow down.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
So, yes, you maintain a good relationship with the companies
you work with and you'll get consistent work. And that's
a beautiful thing. But it's not necessarily all of that
financially reworded in comparison to a model. And I know
directors that have a hard time writing the checks.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
To the girls.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
That amount.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I used to write checks for other directors. Just write it.
I don't even want having to write that check and
hand it over knowing how much work they put in
and how much money they made that day.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah. Yeah, So what is your motivation, Like, what is
your favorite thing about directing?
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I want scorney, but I want things to be different
because I was around, there's, I mean, maybe a sense
of legacy that this industry has made such a big
impact on my life that when I'm not here, I
wanted it to have meant something because it's heavily scrutinized,
(40:50):
Like I still cannot do a lot of the things
that a regular person can do, you know, family and
taking my family somewhere where I still get recognized and
people still come to me, and I get treated differently
from you know, buying a house which was an h
a way or did they have like maybe what was
it called? I forget that the legal term people with
(41:15):
you know, dangerous jobs or ridiculous jobs, high risk high
risk in a sense. Yeah, yeah, and you get kind
of like still pushed by society and treated differently. So
like it impacted my life heavily that I wanted it
to mean something, like things should be better, and it
should be significantly different and it should have left a
(41:37):
positive mark after all of the sacrifice. In a sense,
I don't want to do it and just fade into
the non existence and be like that was it. There
was this Crominian girl. I think she made some movies.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I totally get that. So you want an XMA for
your show HZTV where you renovated the house that you
used in the film, So where did that I come from.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I still build a lot of my sets.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
So that's another thing that you do. Jus as fucking Christ. Sorry,
I felt very lazy.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
I built sets for a very long time. I enjoyed
doing it. It's it's like happy place. And before my
family got a little bigger than my Kiro, I would
spent late nights on set and just building away. So
during COVID, we rented houses long term so we can
control the environment and clean everything up, people in and
(42:31):
out and whatnot. So I would change up the sets
because you'd be like, well, we're here for three months
and I needed it to look different. I'd be like
wallpaper it painted, change bring stuff in, assemble stuff, take
stuff down that stuff. So I've always done it to
some extent, and I also love doing that in my
home and love handy stuff. As a kid, I used
(42:53):
to like disassembled choys to see how they work and
try to put them back together. Not always successful with
the process. Took apart my mom's sewing machine and she
was pissed at me. I want to see how it works.
So I've always done this type of like put things
together and gives me a satisfaction. So putting the sets
together and then seeing them on the monitor so really
(43:14):
exciting to me.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
So with the house, they were talking for a renovation
series for a long time and I was like, I
really want to do that. So it's like, all right,
may I don't know, Like I'm grateful that they trust
me like that. I don't know what they trust me
a little they do. I'm very grateful that I would
say I will want to do that and they will
let me do it. John would say the proof is
(43:40):
in the pudding. Maybe I've worked enough to a little
little of things and I've shown that i can do it.
Now they can trust you. But I think there's a
gamble also that they take on me that I'm very
grateful for and a little bit more extra pressure to
be like I have to deliver because they did they
didn't trust me, Like they haven't seen my renovation work
before when they trusted me to do it. So they've
(44:05):
seen me build sets before, and I built stuff at
my studio all the time.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
So how did that work? In like as a sex
like movie.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I feel like there's maybe men more than women. It's
that release of like destroying things, building stuff and then
wanting to feel good. So it's like a part of
that release in the body, like we're wrecked stuff, we
smashed stuff, we got all hot and sweaty, and now
there's like a bit more sexual tension that we want
(44:36):
to like satisfy as well.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Okay, so it's.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Getting dirty and then dirty.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
E gotcha. So was it like, was it like a
couple that was like renovating houses? Was at the storyline
or No.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
We've cut like different combos. The girls would would kind
of like start smashing things around and kind of start
demoing certain stuff with the idea of what they want
to build, but the guys would be mostly kind of
like switch the roles. You would expect guys to do construction,
So we switch the roles and we let the girls
take the lead on that, and then the guys would
help females get their satisfaction and their pleasure out of
(45:10):
that entire you know THINGU they had fun, They had fun.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Definitely different.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah, I think, like you don't think those types of
scenes would win because they're a little bit silly in
that sense. But there were genuine raw sects and they're
sure like at the point where we removed the walls
and there was only studs, the house is a lot
more fragile. So as they're holding onto it and they're fucking,
they're shaking the house. They're just they're having so like
(45:40):
crazy sex and they don't think about damaging anything because
the house is a construction zone. So now they're going
crazy the house and the walls are shaking up, like
they're fucking this house down. But this is tricky. You
don't think it's going to win because it's kind of
crazy and dirty and outrageous. Yeah, that was surprising.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
That's amazing. So what about projects this year, anything you're
working on now or anything coming up or coming out
that you're very excited about.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Yeah, we just finished a two part game show like series.
It's going to be a total of eight episodes so far.
That was kind of fun. We built at the studio
stage and we kind of took some chances on equipment
to kind of try to give it a different look,
like a three sixty dolly and a crane and like
(46:28):
try to throw a different view of it and like
the game show aspect. And they were younger performers competing
against with Mills, who's the up and coming guy, which
is one of the questions in the industry right to
be like I can do that? How do I become
a mal pam star. It's like one of the questions
(46:49):
that floods my DM for the past twenty years.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Tell me about it. So funny because I just had
you know, girth Master on and same dms are filled
with the how do I become a male born star?
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, so like putting up and coming guys in the
hands of males established females in the industry in like
a game show like scenario with a sex challenge. Towards
the end, it was fun. Well, it's a little bit
of a headache to shoot. Knew it, guys, but.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
I was just gonna say it sounds fun except for
the new.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Guys until you get to that part, but more and
more excited. Man, I hope it's happening. I keep talking
about it, the dance movie. Proper trained dancers with proper
trained choreographers.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Oh, I know who's going to be in it. I
know one person that you have to put in it.
Who is a Brothers contract star, who is a competitive dancer,
Schrida Belle.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Hmmm, maybe there's a week right, She's an amazing guy.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
Yes, I'm just like, I'm just guessing she's going to
be in it.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
There's yeah, Like I wanted to do it, like where
we focus on true dancing, because dancing itself has a
lot of eroticism to it and a lot of sexuality
to it. If we focus on the dancing, not on
the hair flipping and the torking, but true get true
dancing in there. So it's still in the works. It's
(48:17):
going to start off as a reality series because we
want to get the real story of the additions of
getting you know, into the process and to culminate with
a showcase style scene.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Okay, so is it going to be like newer performers.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
It's going to be a mix. We just want to
get the true dancers. So I don't really look for
newer or older. They just have to be true dancers
with a real dance background. Yeah, more than stripping more,
which stripping is still a beautiful thing, but I want
to bring that other aspect to it, where we flow
with the music and we just let them feel something
(48:55):
that turns sexual. So I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
I mean, you know, performing is kind of like my
mother used to always say, having sex is like a
dance starting, which is true. I mean I've noticed that,
like if I'm shooting a model who's new, if she
has a dance background, she generally has that body awareness
where she's like kind of from the gate, like knows
(49:20):
what she's doing.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
And rhythm because we all know of a DP without
the rhythm, you're kind of trouble.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
That is true. That's true. What has been the high
of your career so far?
Speaker 1 (49:33):
I take a lot of satisfaction of seeing people in
my team rising up and becoming really good and getting praised,
and like there's a few people that I would like
support from the get go, and now see them like
come up and like be like really special. And I
think because I never thought it would be a path
(49:55):
for me, like seeing it become a path for other people.
It's a means there's longevity for us in the industry,
but also that stealing a legacy, like there's more past
me that like maybe my name wants die, you know,
when I'm done and retired, maybe there's something else that
(50:16):
will matter. Ye, Like, well, there was great things and
that inspired me and I did more. And it's a
very proud moment maybe in a sense not to compare
it too much raising a child, you but like there's
a legacy past you that it was meaningful beyond you.
It was meaningful to them too, Yeah, and they carry
it on back and then knowing if you do the
(50:39):
right things, they'll continue doing the right things, you know.
But like we've changed for the better. We're not the scunniest,
filthiest industry in the world. We're not the dirty people
that nobody wants to be around. We're actually like impressive
and it's significant and yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
That, what advice would you give to a performer who
wants to make that transition to working behind the scenes,
whether producing or directing, Like you.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
Have, it's the job of no resume. I've said that before,
But doesn't matter the type of movies you shot. It's
the experience you leave people with and how they perceive you,
the being professionally, being on time, they all have so
much weight once people have to think if they can
trust you with their money, how you conduct yourself from
(51:30):
financial aspect as well. If I'm a producer, that means
somebody's paying me a lot of money to produce their movies.
I have to hold on to this money to produce
this movie. So I think that's something talent needs to understand.
It's a trust factor. If you're wasteful with your money,
if you're you know, whatever situation regardless, if you have
(51:51):
a good vision, it's harder to trust you. So you
need to have a business sense, and nobody teaches the
business of porn. You have to have business sense about
yourself in order to even be considered that you could
be a good director and a producer. Are you professional
more than when you're a porn starts your job to
(52:12):
be slaty and fine? Yeah, So, like at some point,
can you also give trust? Can you also give the
fact that you are put together? You are, you have
your thoughts, you know, in line.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
If you have a bad day, you still have to
show up to say.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Yes, because if you have a bad day as a director,
does your entire crew los his work? Does the movie
not meet the deadline? Do we lose location and everything?
So being professional matters more than they think. It's more
than just that one scene. It's this entire like unspoken
(52:52):
resume that you leave people with. So anybody that's trying
to hire a new director, they will do their due
diligence and ask around. So there's a combo of bad
stories about you. They most like you won't get the job. Yeah, regardless,
if you notice shoot camera pictures you've had a good vision,
(53:12):
it won't matter like you have to be professional beyond
your scene.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Absolutely well, Leah, thank you so much for coming on.
It was such a pleasure. I do have some Patreon
questions reaction a lot Jesus the Sky rob but those
will be in a separate segment that if you're a
member of my Patreon you will be able to hear.
In the meantime, Leah, can you let everybody know where
they can find you on your favorite thing in the world,
(53:38):
social media?
Speaker 1 (53:40):
It looks like I don't work. I'm sorry, it looks
like I haven't done stuff in forever. I'm on Instagram
at lea Lexis that productions on x if. People still
go on Excite and I think they do Lee Alexis xxx.
But I apologize there's not much there I do. I'm
(54:01):
trying to get better. That's why the two phones. It's
a thought in my mind. But you can find my
scenes on browsers and everywhere on the internet to some extent.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
It's all over the place, all over the place.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
But yes, I will do better for my fans have
been following me for a long time and put more
of my work out there. I am proud of it. Yeah,
I'm just in a different headspace.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Yeah, I get it. I get it. You need a
Masha please, That's what I am. I have a Masha otherwise, Yeah,
wouldn't make it up there. Thank you guys so much
for watching. Of course, like I said, join my Patreon
to watch these episodes streamed live and get access to
the bonus Q and as. That's patreon dot com, slash
(54:50):
Holly Randall Unfiltered you can find me and all the
posts that Masha puts up on Ali Randall on Instagram
and on Twitter. I'm go to hollylinks dot com for
access to all of my platforms. Thank you guys so
much for joining us, and I will see you next week.
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Strength. Hello, everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered, My
guest today is a performer turned award winning director who
is championing the role of women in the director's chair
(00:35):
and setting a new standard for cinematic storytelling. She's currently
contracted with a Loo, the powerhouse behind some of the
industry's biggest brands, including Browsers, Twistis, and Digital Playground. Her
work blends artistry, empowerment, and unapologetic eroticism, and she's here
to talk about how she's changing the game from the
inside out. Welcome Leah Lexis, Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Hi, how are you good? That was beautiful good.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm glad that you like to chat. GBT did a
great job.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It was nice.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I put in the prompts and I said, write something
lovely and like she's done this and this, she's award winning.
Talk about how it's important that she is a female
director and she works for these big brands, and just
put it in a nice way. So but I put
in all the nice things. Yes, it just had to
put it out in a nice way, now you know
(01:30):
my secret. How dare you AI's taking our jobs? Anyways?
So Leah, should we start from the beginning?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
All right? So you have a very unique origin story
in the industry. You were actually scouted because of your
gymnastics background. So tell us a little bit about where
you're from and your actual gymnastics background.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Born and raised in Romania. M hm. So part of
I guess cultural thing we're proud of is that we
have good gymnastic good soccer players. So I did gymnastics
from four years old until sixteen ish, was part of
the national team. We did competitions. I got quite a
few titles, but I had at that time the equivalent
(02:19):
of a Facebook.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It was high five.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So somebody wrote to me, it's like, you can be
a star, you can be amazing, and I was like, Ah, said,
but no, you could be great. You should come on
a porn set. I was like, I would never do that,
but I do want to see a porn set.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Ah, So you were curious, But yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I worked at it like I had like a silly job,
like a bank. I was selling Avon cosmetics and like
bank services. I was like, I would never do that.
But I do want to see a porn set.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I was just curious, were you like sexual, like from
a young age or okay, very much.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
So I felt like my mind has always wandered in
the DSM before I could even understand it. I thought
it was cool that all it got tied onto the
train tracks, just didn't know why. Yeah, and later on
all things made more sense and I was like, hmm,
maybe that's why I like certain things.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, that made more sense.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
But I got to the set and they were like
wiping the girls feet with baby wipes and everybody was
like buzzing around her, and I was like, oh, it's
so different than what I thought it would be. So
I got more interested in that environment than the porn
itself because it was a contradiction to everything I've heard
in Romania at that time.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
So what did you heard? Like, what were you going
and expecting to see?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I think it's that visual of like the gonzo porn
we used to shoot twenty years ago. I thought it
was that energy at all times, not knowing that there's
in between cut. Everybody caters to the female so much
more and the guys are just a tool into the
the scene, not necessarily the driving force, the females the
(04:04):
driving force, and on camera it got portrayed totally different.
The guys took all the action and did everything, and
the girl was just there being like flipped around and
stuff done to her. She never had a say, and
then when the camera cut, like she had all the
say and I was like mind blown by that.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, I was like whoa, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Because Romania is also like very like male centric. It's
just so I was like, oh.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, and so you saw that scene, So then what
was the next step for you? Were you then considering
getting into it or I.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Kind of got more curious. So there was a production
house that they rented, so I went and visited that
house and they were shooting one seen outside. Once he inside,
then I kind of like spent I think, like a
weekend there, just like observing how they were doing it.
I never felt pretty enough to do more, so I
thought like I needed to do all the extrage net
(05:00):
stick stuff. So I started doing the flips and the things,
and they got like excited about it. I got this like, oh,
you could do this, Like there's a place for you
in here. You're not the prettiest girl with the biggest
boobs or the teas blown there, but you could do this.
It's like, okay, I think I want to do this.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
So what was the reason that you decided to do it?
Like what was the final thing that pushed you to
make that decision? And then how did you make that decision?
Like did you tell your family first?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So you just like went in and my mom found
out by somebody bringing her a DVD copy.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I was always very independent and I had my own job.
I like moved out, so it was a little bit
easier to not say the whole truth from the get go,
So I kind of continued side of my job and
continued porn so I could get away with it a
little bit. So when she found out, she was just like,
are you safe? Is anybody forcing you to do this?
(05:58):
I was like no, So then I kind of ease
my way into that. I can't pinpoint the reason of
why I wanted.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
To do it.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I don't think it was like fully because of this.
I also just wanted to experience the different things, like
I wanted to do this type of scene and this
type of movie, and I wanted to travel and be like,
let's move to Budapest. That sounds fun. I'll do this
for a little while, and then it kind of gained momentum.
But I never saw it as a career long term.
(06:27):
I just wanted the different experiences. I remember talking to
my friends about like glamorizing a gang bang, but like,
how do you do a gang bank safely? Like I
think you do it in horn Like I don't think
go about doing it randomly.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I could never find a way to like organize that.
It was like shameful. But like going for like a
horn shoe, that's like a professional setting and you get
to have that experience. It was a little bit less
guilty feeling.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, because then you could hire professionals.
You're on a set, your stranded by team action team,
so like nothing could really go wrong because you were
in an environment where everybody's working. Yeah. How quickly did
you move into hardcore when you started shooting porn?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Immediately? And I don't think in Europe there was any
like negotiation. I'll just do girl girl, either you did
it or somebody else got the job. In Europe especially
was that mentality like if you don't do a you know,
we're not gonna wait for you. We're just gonna book
this Russian girl. She does it, that's why one hundred
bucks whatever. So it was like, either you want to
(07:35):
do it, you get the job. You don't want to
do it, no problem, will book somebody else. They wouldn't
wait for you. They weren't like career milestones. We're shooting
the same old movie. You want to be in it? Cool?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
We wouldn't even be extra really yeah interesting, like you,
I mean like extra as a first You still get
extra as the act itself, but not as a first, right.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
So there was no like showcase that you could wait
for and you do all this first and get all
his money and the marketing and.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah yeah, not for me at that time. So either
like you want to do these movies that are booking
for the next few months, or say you know, to
them and somebody else. But for me as an experience,
it wasn't like they get the money right away. It
was like, oh, I want to do that. Like working
for the first time man Fara, I was like so amazing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Did you know who he was before you started working
with him? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I used to watch porn, I used to consume porn
to some extent, so like seeing some of the bigger
names at that time, like Manuel was like.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Whoa yeah wow.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Steve Holmes has the story that he always like says
to everybody. He says, I remember the first time when
I shot it, I know with you and you said,
either you're a really good actress or you like it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I was like my first atal cne ever were you
a good actress or did you like it? Like okay,
so tell me about tell me about the first game
bank that you did.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Like it was a little bit now looking back, a
little too strong in the sense it was that those
Conzole type of days. Girls walks down the stairs in
Stripper Hills, seized hair, makeup.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Like this yeah the makeup, yeah, that runs at the
end of the scene, and.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Five eyes came from left and right. I remember there
was one Romanian actor, Mugor. He slapped me and it
was such a shock. I turned my head around the
couch and I got like a disreaction of tears and
I was like, am I cry?
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I was?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I know, it must just because it was a shock,
and I turned back and I like got right into it.
But nobody asked, nobody checked it was like strong to realize,
like the experience it wasn't what I imagine it to be.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But right, so like looking back on that and thinking
about how it is now, you know as a director
must be you know, the comparison is kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, we've been through like man, such an extreme contrast
of the industry. Yeah, it was what else extra can
we do to this girl? How more can we top
from the last scene? If she's a good actress, she's
a good born star, she will do it all and more.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You were definitely known for like your hardcore scenes, and
you did a lot of contortion positions as a performer.
Is there a scene that really sticks out to you
as like the most memorable one, whether or not it
was something that was really difficult for you to do,
or like a scene that was maybe the most proud
of or just like the craziest experience.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I used to put myself in like these positions that
later on I would regret heavily, but I felt like
I wanted to stand out in my own way. So
I would be like, well, what if we do a DP.
Well I'm in a handstand and I'll just do the
split and the guys can like enter from the top
like a pile driver, but I'm in split and I'll
be like, amazing, Yeah, let's do it. And having to
(11:00):
hold that while you're being pushed on and like grabbed on,
and the guys are trying to get their edge because
it's a difficult position they push so they're trying to
hold onto you, so putting extra pressure on your wrists,
on your hand, now your face is all ready they're
like a vein popping on your Yeah, Like I should
have kept my mouth shut. I should have done going
(11:21):
all of these positions that I've wanted to do that
they were special. Halfway through I would regret it.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I was like, god damn, And did you get sick
of like people asking you to always do contortion positions
and like every single scene because I remember me and
mel Covid telling me that because she didn't do that
backwards being low job, and then everyone wanted it, and
she was like at some point she was like, I
just I don't want to do this in every scene.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
She's a very pretty girl. To me, I felt like
I had to like that's why their booked to me,
That's why I'm here.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
So like I would like stretch before going to work.
I would warm up or like I would like tape
my wrist and like try to get the extra strength.
Because I did scenes when I was like suspended in
aerial silks. I did that in a videos and world,
I did that in regular porn. Like anything I could
bring extra, I was happy to do it. I didn't
(12:12):
feel bad about it because I was like, that's gonna
be special, it's going to be different. But yeah, I
never felt bad about it. But they were more exhausting
than yeah, than exciting pleasurable.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Do you think that that standing handstand DP was the
hardest scene you've ever done?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
The hardest one was a scene I deald with Stoya
where we were probably twenty feet up in the air.
She was on hoop and I was on silks and
we never touched the ground. The whole scene was suspended up.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
In the air.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
But like your wrists and everything, it's like it gets tiring,
and it's the position is good, the chemistry is good.
You try to push through, but also there's like a
safety factor. We were in San Francisco, the armory concrete
on the like if you fall, you.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Fall, so there was no crash fat or anything.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Guess we were we can do that. They're like, okay,
go ahead and do it. Then we did our own
rigging because I think when you're an area list, you
prefer to do your own rigging. Yeah, so we did
our own rigging and we just climbed up and did
the scene and we didn't wow that many breaks. To me,
that was difficult to shoot. Nobody used the crane they
(13:26):
were imprepped for while we were gonna do properly, so
it doesn't look as good, but to me it was cool. Yeah,
it was a very cool scene to shoot. She was
a little bit.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah, I've worked with story before.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
What is the scene that you are like most proud of?
Like if I know you're not shooting anymore, so if
you look back on like your catalog of work, like
what is the one scene or maybe movie that you
did that you're like, that is that was my high point.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
It's a little bit of a blur because I guess
you don't get that comes up when you're shooting the
scene if you know it's going to do good or
be well received, and even when it gets like let's
say an award, you wouldn't know, like, you know, was
it really loved or just people thought it was crazy
enough to There's like movies, like like movies that I
(14:20):
helped write or made the costumes for that I felt
like I could bring more than just my performance that
made me feel very good for it. Sexually, Yeah, there's
just so many different ones. I wouldn't be able to
like Pinpoint one. It's also almost twenty years of now
a long time.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Is there one brand that you shot for that you
think like possesses the most amount of like your best work.
Sounds like you did a lot of stuff for King.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I did, and I I learned a lot of myself
with King. It was also we were working and my
team was cruel only females, and I feel like they're
more inquisitive to find out what is it that you're
really about versus then just getting the job done so
(15:09):
camera pas like even the team at Kink, they were
interested in you, like your passions, what triggers your spark
of insanity, what makes you want to go fully immersed
into a feeling? And there was a lot of fun,
beautiful stuff there. I have good mentors there too. So
(15:29):
many people who have worked at Kink have reported like
a really good experience, which I know people from the
outside who look at hardcore BATSM think it's the opposite.
But it's really interesting how the behind the scenes and
we'll get into this later, but they were really heavy
on that consent game and the boundary checklist before Vanilla
(15:49):
Porn ever went there. I've used quite a bit of
my experience there too to kind of help and bring
that to our sets currently. Yeah, because you see the
effect of it. There was was all of that pushback,
I don't care, I'm yes to everything, but don't pull
my hair. Then that and it'd be like, it's so valuable, Yeah,
(16:12):
so valuable.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, So Leah, when did you pivot from
performing to working behind the scenes and ultimately becoming a director.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
It happened on and off through my career quite often,
even when I was in Europe. I remember Christopher Clark,
French director, used to work for you Will Bake Name.
At that time. I was like, yeah, here, I remember
you just put a camera in my hand. He was like, hey, like,
while you're getting ready start shooting some stuff, and I
(16:48):
was like, how do I start? I remember that She's like,
spin around, and then drop the camera into what you're
looking at. I was like cool. So I remember I
did a little and as I'm spinning, I'm like looking
around like ballet spin right, I'm like what am I seeing?
What am I sitting? And I'm like dropping the camera
up like what I'm looking at? And then the girls
are getting ready and I'm doing like this interview part
(17:10):
and I was like interesting. I was like, oh wow,
They're like this is fun because I do like I
love women and I have like I think porn should
be made by perverts, so like I was like literally
perv on them like oh that's hat if I Oh
that's exciting, Oh that's cool, And time would pass and
then you grab the camera like this is great, like
(17:31):
thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Where do you think he singled you out for that?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I would think that, like I've always been a hard worker,
but I know it's more than that. But maybe something
that I wouldn't catch on, like maybe he would see
me like lean into this perversion. And I have like
a similar mindset. I feel like porn kept me safe
because if it wasn't for porn, I would wander off
in my perversion and unsafe environments. M that's interesting, especially
(17:59):
like where I come from, Like you can't necessarily be
a lesbian, you can necessarily want to have sex with
multiple men or because you would be pushed away by society.
So now you have this like frustration sexual frustration that's
wondering crazy in your mind. So in a way, that
kept me safe, Like it was like fun and celebrated
(18:22):
to be a purve.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
You were in like this community that accepted you.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
And more than that, you felt good because they were
like giving you like just this praise. Oh yeah, that's great.
More of that great?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yeah, So okay, so he so he started shooting some bts.
So where did that take you?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I actually ended up doing wardrobe for some of the
stuff as well. Maybe again and like tight into my
love of like women and like beauty in the sense
I wanted to dress them and then it would be
really cool to be behind the camera and see them
undress I've made for them. So I did that. I
(19:03):
helped with production management. I would book certain things, like
I get there were like a few Romanian girls that
were we were a gang. We all like lived together.
So I'm like, you know such and such, Absolutely, I'll
contact I'll get my manager in place, and we will
like book a movie. So I think that kind of
fell naturally into place like production management. So while you
(19:28):
were there, I would like to make a cool dress
for her. What would you dress her in? We could
shoot her at this location. And it like took a
natural turn, Like I never thought I would do that job,
but I kept on doing the job in one form
or another.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So it just became like a natural progression. And then
how did you end up here in the US directing
for a.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Low I directed for a few different companies before. So
I came here with a different company that was established
in Budapest, was run by Romanian director, but I still,
you know, help and like book certain things. So I
came here with that company and he was also directing
for Evil Angel, so he asked me to drop off
(20:10):
a hard drive at Evil. So I go drop a
hard drive at Evil and I have a hat on
and John stall Janovich is always like are youly? Alexis
so my god, you know it's going to do this
movie with you or we do contortion and gymnastics, and
I was like amazing. So like I got to work
more for different companies and I ended up working with
Evil quite a bit, like quite a few years, and
(20:34):
I worked with John closely on like a few bigger movies.
We did Voracious together, like we shut it in like
three countries and we traveled around and we did cool stuff.
I worked with Jason and I helped him with production
a little bit. We went to Romania and we shot
like different movies there. So I kept on getting pulled in.
I never thought like I would be like, I'll go
(20:56):
to America and now knock at some doors and hope
they get me out. People would like recognize me, and
I was like shocking to me, but also flattering, like
I want to do this movie with you. I was
like that's amazing, Like of course, and I'll stay another
few months and I'll go back and come back in
and be like, well, we're going to do this movie.
So I stayed in another few months, kind of like
(21:17):
always always called me back in For a while. I
thought I was going to stop, and I started my
clothing line and they'll be like, do you want to
do this movie?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Do this movie. So I kept on being pulled in.
Then at King Bobby Starr gave me, gave me my
directing door, and I said you should you should direct
this movie and you should work on the type of things.
I was like, oh my god, amazing, I would love to.
And then from that we took like a few different
other websites. There was like the Girl Gol website and
(21:51):
the Gang Bang website, then a few different ones in
that group. Tony reebas Uh brought me into the Ala
world as his makeup and production manager, and then Alo
gave me the chance and was.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Like, so you did make up too. I didn't make
up for a few years. Everything a few years because
I had forgotten that you did wardrobe, because I remember
I think Shari told me that one year for AVN,
like I think we were doing something. She was like,
oh I got to go see Liah. She's like designing
my dress or something. I'm like, she makes wardrobe like that.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
For eight years, eight or nine years, I did dressing.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, yeah, and then you did make up too. Didn't
make up too. Is there anything you don't do?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
It's away things I don't know. Well that I like
to talk about the social media, the worst that is
in the world out there.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, that's that's a lot. It's a lot. Okay. So
so then you were doing uh, makeup and production for
Tony and then you and then how did that? Because
I remember, like the first time I started seeing you
regularly was during COVID when we started having those meetings
(23:09):
with when it was at my Geek at the time,
and we started having the meetings about like actually kind
of about like the boundary checklist that we were starting
to bring in, and you were giving a lot of
feedback on how that would work, you know, having been
a model and having that very valuable perspective.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I think during COVID there was that time when we
were first enough to stand still to look at what's
going on, yeah, and spend time on social media, and
I didn't know a lot of these stories that were
coming up.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Like in a way though, like it's when I interview
people to hire them, or I talk to other people,
like what's your motivation? What do you want to be here?
And then people ask me that. Then I was like,
what is my motivation? I've never asked myself that because
I've always went with the flow and let's do bigger things,
let's do better things, keep going, And I said my motivation.
(24:02):
I think it was kind of in that COVID moment
when it became so clear to me deeper story. We
were sitting on a meeting during COVID for distribution with
another director that used to work for a bigger company
that put me in like the most uncomfortable situations for
(24:22):
a very long time. And I remember sitting down at
this meeting across from this person going like, that's my motivation.
You won't do everything that you did to me, Like,
that's my motivation. We're going to change it in such
a way that we can. It still gets me. We
will change it and it will become like it will
(24:45):
become powerful for people to know you'll still be successful
if you don't go with like this environment. Because I
was questioning it at that time as like he was
putting pressure to be like is this normal? Like it's
poorn after all, so maybe it is normal. He is
being very nice to me. He's booking me for so
(25:07):
many movies. You see what I do for you. I
booked you again and again and again.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
So he's pressuring you for like sexual favor.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, And I never gave in in that sense. But
what I feel bad in my mind about it is
that I was negotiating with myself to be like he
is nice to me, he is booking me on so
many movies. I don't want to go and see it
because you'd be like, see, I booked you again. You're
(25:34):
supposed to like, but look everything I do for you,
I put you in all of these big movies, and
you're not going to do this? Yeah, what kind of
person are you? And I'm like, I am a bad person?
Just porn after all, I should probably.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, like I have sex for a living, Like exactly
why wouldn't yeah, like, why wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
This be a big deal?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And I felt wrong about it. And I've always been
in long term relationships and I was like, it feels
wrong to my relationship. But then it was like that
dynamic that I was like, I just don't want the
movie anymore. I just go make the movie. It's a
big movie. You'll be good for you. Damn I don't
want it to it.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
So like that's why, like I felt like my motivation
riding that COVID time, I was like, that's why I'm
doing this because there's people like this still around and
we can still make porn and we can still do good.
And to this day, so many girls come to me
and be like Lee, I want your career path. And
I'm like, that's why, Like we can make cool movies,
(26:33):
but we can still not feel so dirty and guilty
and ashamed about it. And I have this like heart
of like a little flea in your chest when you
walk on set, you'd be here. He goes again, and
he's not busy, so he's gonna come after me. Yeah,
and everybody's busy, but he's not busy, so he's gonna
come after.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Me right now. Yeah. Yeah, that's a horrible place to be.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, they'll turn dark quick.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
No, it's okay. I have a feeling I know who
you're talking. But of course we're not gonna say yeah,
but I have a feeling. You know, it's crazy. I
have a sort of similar story, but I actually never
think about it. And this actually happened to me like
a long time ago when I was a kid and
I was like, I don't know, fourteen, I wanted to
be a model, and there was this super creepy guy
(27:21):
named rich who, Rich Leon who used to hang out
Malibu and he used to shoot like young girls for
like his portfolio, and he would tell you that he
was going to get you on the cover of Why Am.
That's how old I am? Young and young and modern.
That was a magazine back in the day, Why Am,
and you know, like a teen mag and all this
kind of stuff, and so, I mean his portfolio was
(27:43):
literally like fourteen and fifteen year olds like in bikinis.
Like looking back at it now, I'm just like, what
the what was I thinking? Right?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
So of course he came to me, I, Holly, I CA.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
That's how we talked, Holly, I can make you alm
modeling and god, I'll get you on the com around
these magazines. And of course I totally felt for it,
told my mom, and my mom was like mmmmmm so,
but I begged her and the only way that she
would let him shoot me was if he came to
the house and he shot me at the house. There
(28:16):
was no fucking way she was gonna let me be
alone with him. And even then I was like, you
can't be around, you can't watch, like I don't want
you anywhere near it, and she was like, okay, you
guys can be in the yard, like I won't be
like watching, but I will be like there. And it
was like this huge battle that I had with her
because I was sure that she was wrong and she
was being overprotective for no reason. And yeah, the entire
(28:40):
time he was trying to get a pany shot. He
tried to get me to take my clothes off, and
I had this like sheer dress that had like a
slip under, and he tried to get me to take
my clothes off and wear only the slip that was
completely see through. Like I mean, he was literally trying
to get like, yeah, pornographic shots on a fourteen year
old the whole time, and I just remember being like
(29:03):
it was a horrible experience and the pictures also turned
out so bad. And yeah, and I ended up taking
photography classes after that, and I really so actually I
started taking photography classes when I was twelve, so I
must have been I must have been twelve, then I
must have been younger, yeah, because it was around that time.
(29:27):
And yeah, and I remember like feeling like I don't
ever want anybody to feel the way that I felt
in that moment. And this is obviously way before I
thought I was ever going to get into porn, but
there was a sense of that for me too, like
that that feeling of like yeah and not knowing what
to say.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
It sticks with you for so long.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Yeah, it was an awful experience, and I would still
see him, like, up until a couple of years ago,
i'd occasionally see him around Malibu and he doesn't recognize
me anymore, Like that motherfucker is still still out there.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah, I feel like there's like these I don't know,
necessarily character building moments, but it's like these moments that
like fuel you and they'll give you their motivation for
the rest of your life. Yeah, like so significant and
course shifting for you. Yeah, I'll be like that never again.
Because some people teach you how to and some people
teach you how to not mm hm, and like I
(30:21):
feel like these people taught us how to not again.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, it's interesting because I was talking to my daughter
about teachers, and I was trying to explain to her
that there's teachers in your there's everyone's a teacher in
your life, but it's not like necessarily in the way
that you think they are, right, Like, there's your teachers
at school, but there are some people in your life
that are to teach you how to not. Like you said, like,
they teach you a different lesson that you don't expect,
(30:46):
and that definitely someone was a not a not teacher
for sure. But going back to the COVID moment, that
was such an interesting time for the adult industry because
I felt like that was really like a second Me
two wave for the adult industry that all these you
(31:08):
know women coming out on social media talking about these
these predatory, you know, male performers, these experiences that they'd had,
And I think that that was really fueled by the
success of OnlyFans, right, and now they had this financial
freedom and they felt they weren't worried about being blacklisted
anymore and losing work and they could speak out. And
(31:32):
now they had this platform, they had the social media
place that they could say these things and then other
women could be like me too. I had that as well.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I also feel like it's like sitting with your own thoughts.
It's such a powerful thing, but we never get to
do that. Yeah, So it's it's significant in like, you know,
getting like a little bit of meditation and inside thought,
they're developing your feelings. We never had that, and all
of a sudden we were forced to do that. Then
these things came up that we might have not thought
(32:03):
about them before because we got distracted with let's go
out with friends, let's do this movie, And all of
a sudden, you're forced with yourself. For weeks at a time,
you just sit and wonder about, like, what's going on,
what's going on? What's happening? Why am I feeling anxious?
Why am I feeling lonely? Scared? Like? Wow, that's why.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
So how do you think the industry has changed since then?
And do you think it's for the better?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yeah, Like I still have a hard time categorizing it
clearly because I feel like maybe we might be split now.
I used to say I love the content world, because
now everybody that's coming on set one thousand percent wants
to be on set. That's true, So they won't do
it to pay rent, they won't do it for a
financial incentive. But becoming famous now it's it's trumping all
(32:55):
of that. So now we're getting people on set that
just want the fame. I just want to be on
a big website that gives them the big.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Exposure, specifically browsers, right, And I hear that all the time,
And they do a browser scene because they want the traffic.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
But they don't love sex, right, So it's harder for
me to make a comfortable set where I push for
sexuality where they don't love sex. So it's harder to
push them to do a good passionate scene because they
don't love to be touched or they're not comfortable orgasming
on camera. There's this physical thing that you see them
clenching and pushing against the orgasm, like the feeling is
(33:30):
rushing over them, but they're like shying away and like
their face changes. They don't want they don't want to
experience it. They're like, whoa, they just want to be famous.
Did we get the pictures? They might get my social moment?
Now the sex scene.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Ah, you're like what, yeah, sport, it's a.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Beautiful porn Like have some time with your talent, let's
build up that teas and they'll be like, eh, yeah,
are you ready now? Damn it.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Yeah. I've definitely heard that feedback from quite a few
performers who've been in the industry for a long time.
They feel like some of the magic and the sex
has been removed from the scenes because of like the
boundary checklists and all these things that we go through.
But I think maybe it's more akin to what you're saying,
(34:18):
is that there's just more talent in the industry that
are there really with more of like a mindset of
as a like this is a marketing gig.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
I so stand behind the checklist and I don't think
it takes the magic away, even though that was the
argument at the beginning, we're making sets too clinical. We
have to check all of these things and nobody will
remember that. Sure, but to me, it's like having sex
with somebody for the first time, you won't give them
your ole because you don't know. But having sex with
(34:49):
somebody multiple times now you know what they like and
you can give them your ole. To me, that's that
boundary checklist. It lets me know what they don't like
so the performer can do more of what they like.
You get more out of it. They my god, they
love kissing. They love kissing. Amazing, and you get amazing
kissing scene when they like get lost into it and
(35:09):
they start grabbing each other. Beautiful. If you don't know
they love kissing, then it's kind of like you're trying
a little kiss and that's not as passionate then getting
together for the first time and really kissing. Yeah, So
to me, that boundary checklist can help us make magic. Yeah,
you just have to really take it serious. Yes, yes
to everythinke.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Sure, I agree with you from I mean definitely from
a director's perspective. I love it because it takes the
pressure off of trying to like guess when a performer
might be being pushed too far. Because you know, as
a woman, and I'm sure you feel the same way.
You feel like you can kind of read the room
and you can sort of tell if a girl is
(35:50):
uncomfortable or maybe not feeling something. But we can't say
for sure, right, we can't read minds. And I never
want any to walk away from a set feeling like
they had a bad experience. I'm sure you feel the
same way, But if they don't speak up, how could
you possibly know. And it's hard to set boundaries, especially
if you're young, I mean publicly in front of all
(36:12):
these people, in front of all these people that you
don't know. And so that boundary checklist gives you the opportunity,
the freedom to state those boundaries in a shame free
way where it's like no, really, please, like very specifically
tell us every single thing, and maybe even to consider
something that you wouldn't have ever thought to even mention like, oh,
(36:36):
I didn't think about like whether or not I would
like someone to like lick my toes. That actually sounds
like something I would really dislike. So I'm just gonna
say no. But that would have never occurred to me.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
We rooming girls don't come on set thinking a guy
will expect his ass, you know, but a performer will
be super into it and blowjob is happening, I'll just
grab her head, yeah, like once she's in that moment
like I don't like that. Yeah, right, So she never
thought about it until she got put in that situation.
So rather than killing that entire moment on set, that
(37:09):
the simple discussion before reaming, huh, I never thought about it.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Yeah, Like let's what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah? Or yeah? What is that? How is your work
life balance changed since you started leaning into like directing.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
You can tell this comes from a direct as pretty bad. Yeah,
it's pretty bad. I always think I'm failing in some
aspects of life because I do this. Yeah, there's no
way of doing this balance though I've tried at all
kinds of types of ways. It's the very demanding job
(37:48):
and it takes mental load at all times. There's no
way of doing it balanced.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
The only thing I can think about that I can
try to make peace with is balancing the extremes that
if I do should feature a bigger movie, I will
allow myself a few days after to like catch up
on my personal life. Yeah, spend time with my family
and have some moment there present, because while the feature
is happening or the bigger series is happening, I have
(38:16):
nothing for them, and I feel so guilty. There's no
way you finish up four. Yeah, in ninety four.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Get out of here.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, it's like a sixteen hours it's a common thing.
And these days, you know, they take weeks to shoot
and they take another week to prepare. It's probably going
to be my biggest regret as time passes.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah. I mean, and I think what a lot of
people don't realize is that an adult the director isn't
just the director. They're also the producer and like the
line producer and the story producer and sometimes the PA
and like the account.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
And the account. Oh my god, I hear that with
a passion.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yeah, yeah, yes, Unfortunately, it's we don't get the luxury
of like a big crew and like the budget for
a lot of people to do specific jobs. The director
has to take on so much. And it's interesting when
I see so many performers who are like, I want
to get into directing, and then they director a couple
(39:19):
of movies and they're like, this sucks. This pays me
significantly less than performing and it's so much more work.
I will never do this again. And I'm like, there
you go, like you really have to love it the motivation.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yet, the motivation has to be something else than money. Yeah,
because if it's only money, it's very much not worth it.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
We fortunately we were consistently. It's beautiful because when I
was a model, I wouldn't work as consistently. Like maybe
I'll have a fantastic two three months, but at that time,
all the companies have shot me, they had their movies
with me, so it will slow down.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
So, yes, you maintain a good relationship with the companies
you work with and you'll get consistent work. And that's
a beautiful thing. But it's not necessarily all of that
financially reworded in comparison to a model. And I know
directors that have a hard time writing the checks.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
To the girls.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
That amount.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I used to write checks for other directors. Just write it.
I don't even want having to write that check and
hand it over knowing how much work they put in
and how much money they made that day.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah. Yeah, So what is your motivation, Like, what is
your favorite thing about directing?
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I want scorney, but I want things to be different
because I was around, there's, I mean, maybe a sense
of legacy that this industry has made such a big
impact on my life that when I'm not here, I
wanted it to have meant something because it's heavily scrutinized,
(40:50):
Like I still cannot do a lot of the things
that a regular person can do, you know, family and
taking my family somewhere where I still get recognized and
people still come to me, and I get treated differently
from you know, buying a house which was an h
a way or did they have like maybe what was
it called? I forget that the legal term people with
(41:15):
you know, dangerous jobs or ridiculous jobs, high risk high
risk in a sense. Yeah, yeah, and you get kind
of like still pushed by society and treated differently. So
like it impacted my life heavily that I wanted it
to mean something, like things should be better, and it
should be significantly different and it should have left a
(41:37):
positive mark after all of the sacrifice. In a sense,
I don't want to do it and just fade into
the non existence and be like that was it. There
was this Crominian girl. I think she made some movies.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I totally get that. So you want an XMA for
your show HZTV where you renovated the house that you
used in the film, So where did that I come from.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I still build a lot of my sets.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
So that's another thing that you do. Jus as fucking Christ. Sorry,
I felt very lazy.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
I built sets for a very long time. I enjoyed
doing it. It's it's like happy place. And before my
family got a little bigger than my Kiro, I would
spent late nights on set and just building away. So
during COVID, we rented houses long term so we can
control the environment and clean everything up, people in and
(42:31):
out and whatnot. So I would change up the sets
because you'd be like, well, we're here for three months
and I needed it to look different. I'd be like
wallpaper it painted, change bring stuff in, assemble stuff, take
stuff down that stuff. So I've always done it to
some extent, and I also love doing that in my
home and love handy stuff. As a kid, I used
(42:53):
to like disassembled choys to see how they work and
try to put them back together. Not always successful with
the process. Took apart my mom's sewing machine and she
was pissed at me. I want to see how it works.
So I've always done this type of like put things
together and gives me a satisfaction. So putting the sets
together and then seeing them on the monitor so really
(43:14):
exciting to me.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
So with the house, they were talking for a renovation
series for a long time and I was like, I
really want to do that. So it's like, all right,
may I don't know, Like I'm grateful that they trust
me like that. I don't know what they trust me
a little they do. I'm very grateful that I would
say I will want to do that and they will
let me do it. John would say the proof is
(43:40):
in the pudding. Maybe I've worked enough to a little
little of things and I've shown that i can do it.
Now they can trust you. But I think there's a
gamble also that they take on me that I'm very
grateful for and a little bit more extra pressure to
be like I have to deliver because they did they
didn't trust me, Like they haven't seen my renovation work
before when they trusted me to do it. So they've
(44:05):
seen me build sets before, and I built stuff at
my studio all the time.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
So how did that work? In like as a sex
like movie.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
I feel like there's maybe men more than women. It's
that release of like destroying things, building stuff and then
wanting to feel good. So it's like a part of
that release in the body, like we're wrecked stuff, we
smashed stuff, we got all hot and sweaty, and now
there's like a bit more sexual tension that we want
(44:36):
to like satisfy as well.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Okay, so it's.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Getting dirty and then dirty.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
E gotcha. So was it like, was it like a
couple that was like renovating houses? Was at the storyline
or No.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
We've cut like different combos. The girls would would kind
of like start smashing things around and kind of start
demoing certain stuff with the idea of what they want
to build, but the guys would be mostly kind of
like switch the roles. You would expect guys to do construction,
So we switch the roles and we let the girls
take the lead on that, and then the guys would
help females get their satisfaction and their pleasure out of
(45:10):
that entire you know THINGU they had fun, They had fun.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Definitely different.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah, I think, like you don't think those types of
scenes would win because they're a little bit silly in
that sense. But there were genuine raw sects and they're
sure like at the point where we removed the walls
and there was only studs, the house is a lot
more fragile. So as they're holding onto it and they're fucking,
they're shaking the house. They're just they're having so like
(45:40):
crazy sex and they don't think about damaging anything because
the house is a construction zone. So now they're going
crazy the house and the walls are shaking up, like
they're fucking this house down. But this is tricky. You
don't think it's going to win because it's kind of
crazy and dirty and outrageous. Yeah, that was surprising.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
That's amazing. So what about projects this year, anything you're
working on now or anything coming up or coming out
that you're very excited about.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Yeah, we just finished a two part game show like series.
It's going to be a total of eight episodes so far.
That was kind of fun. We built at the studio
stage and we kind of took some chances on equipment
to kind of try to give it a different look,
like a three sixty dolly and a crane and like
(46:28):
try to throw a different view of it and like
the game show aspect. And they were younger performers competing
against with Mills, who's the up and coming guy, which
is one of the questions in the industry right to
be like I can do that? How do I become
a mal pam star. It's like one of the questions
(46:49):
that floods my DM for the past twenty years.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Tell me about it. So funny because I just had
you know, girth Master on and same dms are filled
with the how do I become a male born star?
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yeah, so like putting up and coming guys in the
hands of males established females in the industry in like
a game show like scenario with a sex challenge. Towards
the end, it was fun. Well, it's a little bit
of a headache to shoot. Knew it, guys, but.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
I was just gonna say it sounds fun except for
the new.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Guys until you get to that part, but more and
more excited. Man, I hope it's happening. I keep talking
about it, the dance movie. Proper trained dancers with proper
trained choreographers.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Oh, I know who's going to be in it. I
know one person that you have to put in it.
Who is a Brothers contract star, who is a competitive dancer,
Schrida Belle.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Hmmm, maybe there's a week right, She's an amazing guy.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
Yes, I'm just like, I'm just guessing she's going to
be in it.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
There's yeah, Like I wanted to do it, like where
we focus on true dancing, because dancing itself has a
lot of eroticism to it and a lot of sexuality
to it. If we focus on the dancing, not on
the hair flipping and the torking, but true get true
dancing in there. So it's still in the works. It's
(48:17):
going to start off as a reality series because we
want to get the real story of the additions of
getting you know, into the process and to culminate with
a showcase style scene.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Okay, so is it going to be like newer performers.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
It's going to be a mix. We just want to
get the true dancers. So I don't really look for
newer or older. They just have to be true dancers
with a real dance background. Yeah, more than stripping more,
which stripping is still a beautiful thing, but I want
to bring that other aspect to it, where we flow
with the music and we just let them feel something
(48:55):
that turns sexual. So I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
I mean, you know, performing is kind of like my
mother used to always say, having sex is like a
dance starting, which is true. I mean I've noticed that,
like if I'm shooting a model who's new, if she
has a dance background, she generally has that body awareness
where she's like kind of from the gate, like knows
(49:20):
what she's doing.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
And rhythm because we all know of a DP without
the rhythm, you're kind of trouble.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
That is true. That's true. What has been the high
of your career so far?
Speaker 1 (49:33):
I take a lot of satisfaction of seeing people in
my team rising up and becoming really good and getting praised,
and like there's a few people that I would like
support from the get go, and now see them like
come up and like be like really special. And I
think because I never thought it would be a path
(49:55):
for me, like seeing it become a path for other people.
It's a means there's longevity for us in the industry,
but also that stealing a legacy, like there's more past
me that like maybe my name wants die, you know,
when I'm done and retired, maybe there's something else that
(50:16):
will matter. Ye, Like, well, there was great things and
that inspired me and I did more. And it's a
very proud moment maybe in a sense not to compare
it too much raising a child, you but like there's
a legacy past you that it was meaningful beyond you.
It was meaningful to them too, Yeah, and they carry
it on back and then knowing if you do the
(50:39):
right things, they'll continue doing the right things, you know.
But like we've changed for the better. We're not the scunniest,
filthiest industry in the world. We're not the dirty people
that nobody wants to be around. We're actually like impressive
and it's significant and yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
That, what advice would you give to a performer who
wants to make that transition to working behind the scenes,
whether producing or directing, Like you.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
Have, it's the job of no resume. I've said that before,
But doesn't matter the type of movies you shot. It's
the experience you leave people with and how they perceive you,
the being professionally, being on time, they all have so
much weight once people have to think if they can
trust you with their money, how you conduct yourself from
(51:30):
financial aspect as well. If I'm a producer, that means
somebody's paying me a lot of money to produce their movies.
I have to hold on to this money to produce
this movie. So I think that's something talent needs to understand.
It's a trust factor. If you're wasteful with your money,
if you're you know, whatever situation regardless, if you have
(51:51):
a good vision, it's harder to trust you. So you
need to have a business sense, and nobody teaches the
business of porn. You have to have business sense about
yourself in order to even be considered that you could
be a good director and a producer. Are you professional
more than when you're a porn starts your job to
(52:12):
be slaty and fine? Yeah, So, like at some point,
can you also give trust? Can you also give the
fact that you are put together? You are, you have
your thoughts, you know, in line.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
If you have a bad day, you still have to
show up to say.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Yes, because if you have a bad day as a director,
does your entire crew los his work? Does the movie
not meet the deadline? Do we lose location and everything?
So being professional matters more than they think. It's more
than just that one scene. It's this entire like unspoken
(52:52):
resume that you leave people with. So anybody that's trying
to hire a new director, they will do their due
diligence and ask around. So there's a combo of bad
stories about you. They most like you won't get the job. Yeah, regardless,
if you notice shoot camera pictures you've had a good vision,
(53:12):
it won't matter like you have to be professional beyond
your scene.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Absolutely well, Leah, thank you so much for coming on.
It was such a pleasure. I do have some Patreon
questions reaction a lot Jesus the Sky rob but those
will be in a separate segment that if you're a
member of my Patreon you will be able to hear.
In the meantime, Leah, can you let everybody know where
they can find you on your favorite thing in the world,
(53:38):
social media?
Speaker 1 (53:40):
It looks like I don't work. I'm sorry, it looks
like I haven't done stuff in forever. I'm on Instagram
at lea Lexis that productions on x if. People still
go on Excite and I think they do Lee Alexis xxx.
But I apologize there's not much there I do. I'm
(54:01):
trying to get better. That's why the two phones. It's
a thought in my mind. But you can find my
scenes on browsers and everywhere on the internet to some extent.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
It's all over the place, all over the place.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
But yes, I will do better for my fans have
been following me for a long time and put more
of my work out there. I am proud of it. Yeah,
I'm just in a different headspace.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
Yeah, I get it. I get it. You need a
Masha please, That's what I am. I have a Masha otherwise, Yeah,
wouldn't make it up there. Thank you guys so much
for watching. Of course, like I said, join my Patreon
to watch these episodes streamed live and get access to
the bonus Q and as. That's patreon dot com, slash
(54:50):
Holly Randall Unfiltered you can find me and all the
posts that Masha puts up on Ali Randall on Instagram
and on Twitter. I'm go to hollylinks dot com for
access to all of my platforms. Thank you guys so
much for joining us, and I will see you next week.
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