April 16, 2025 • 53 mins
In this episode of Holly Randall Unfiltered, we dive deep into the inspiring journey of Leilani Li, a trailblazing black trans woman in the adult industry. Leilani candidly shares her early experiences with survival sex work to her transition into mainstream porn, making history as the first black trans woman to win two prestigious AVN Awards. But getting here wasn’t easy—Leilani faced some frightening and dangerous situations in her early days. She openly reflects on her journey: from a manipulative young woman doing what she had to in order to survive, to the honest, confident, and hard-working woman she is today. And for those contemplating a career in sex work (in all it’s forms), Leilani offers invaluable advice: highlighting the crucial priorities of safety, client screening, and mental health preservation. She opens up about how she deals with internet trolls, her advice for young trans women getting into porn, and how she stays grounded. She and Holly also debate the industry's progression towards embracing diversity and celebrating trans performers: is it enough? Leilani’s story is not only a testament to her resilience and success, but also an honest and eye opening revelation of how sex work can turn from something that one does simply for survival, to a viable career path that brings a true sense of purpose to one’s life. Patreon members get the VIP treatment: uncensored, ad-free, and a bonus Q&A! Want the inside scoop? Join us at https://www.patreon.com/hollyrandallunfiltered/ for exclusive content and more! Support our show by supporting our sponsors! Want bigger, healthier loads? Visit vb.health/products/load-boost and use code [ HOLLY] for 10% off
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Watch the uncut/uncenored versions with bonus Q&As exclusively on Patreon.https://www.patreon.com/c/hollyrandallunfiltered
Find me on all social media platforms - HollyLinks.com
Hit up linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might blush.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Watch the uncut/uncenored versions with bonus Q&As exclusively on Patreon.https://www.patreon.com/c/hollyrandallunfiltered
Find me on all social media platforms - HollyLinks.com
Hit up linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might blush.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. Before I
introduce you to my stunning guest, let me tell you
about my sponsor, Flashlight. Fleshlight is the number one selling
mail sex toy in the world, and it can help
you reach new heights of self pleasure. Just go to
hru pod dot com, click flesh Light and use code
Holly to get ten percent off of your new delicious device.
(00:50):
All right, guys, my guest today has made a lot
of waves in her just two years in the industry.
She is the first black trans woman to win two ABMs,
including being crowned last year's Best Trans Newcomer. Welcome Leilani Lee, Hi, Holly,
how are you and good? How are you?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I'm doing really good. Thank you for having me and
so happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Thank you so much for coming. I'm so happy that
you're here. So we were just saying before we jump
into your story and all of that. The THA Awards
just happened.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
They did, Yeah, which.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I wanted to go to, but unfortunately had a family emergency.
So I couldn't go, but tell me a little bit
about how your experience was. And for those who don't
know what the THA Awards are, well.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
The Tea Awards are the Trans Erotic Awards, which is
the only award show of its kind. It is an
award show that is solely focused on trans and LGBTQ
on performers within the adult space. We come together once
a year every year for a pre party and we
come together for an award show to celebrate all of
our projects that we've done throughout the year.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And so how was the show this year?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
So this year the show is really really really good.
I feel like with everything that's going on in the world,
it was like a really safe place to just like
have camaraderie, catch up and just like celebrate as like
a family. I feel like the winds are important, but
then just getting together and just like being a community
(02:15):
is like the most important part of the show. And
like that's the best like takeaway of it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, I mean, that's definitely the one thing that I
love about the convention and the award shows is the
family that is the adult industry exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, Yeah, you're actually right, to be fair, most of
the conventions and award shows. Do feel family oriented rather
it be the teas expis or apen. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
So let's talk about your beginnings, your origin story.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, my origin story.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah. So how did you get into the adult industry?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Initially? I did solo work a long long time ago.
I was discovered by Buddy Wood on an app. He
asked me if I wanted to shoot a project. I did.
It was solo. I didn't really feel like there was
a career for me or our opportunities at the time,
so I did that and then I kind of disappeared.
(03:09):
But then recently two years ago, actually I went to
the Tees. So my two year anniversary being a hardcore
performer just passed. So I went to the Tees two
years ago, and just like networks, I went by myself.
Didn't really know what to expect, but I networked, met
a few people, made sure to, you know, take some
good pictures with a couple of performers, and then the
next thing, you know, like a couple of performers. Aerial
(03:30):
Demir specifically.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Love We do love Ariel.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
You do love her? Yes? She asked me if I
was interested in collabing with her, specifically, and I was like, yeah,
I would love to collab with you. I've never had
done a collab at the time to that capacity, so
we did it. Afterwards, she was like, you know, that
was a really good collab. You did a really good job.
We have a project that we're working on. Would you
like to be involved in it? And I was like yeah, sure.
(03:56):
So I ended up doing that project and working with
with all of the girls, all the trans girls we
did Gorgons are not Gorgons and goddesses. This one that
we did was a summer bash orgy that we did. Yeah,
and we shot this at Anna Box's house and so
we did that and then from there, I feel like
the rest was like history because I was able to
(04:16):
from aligning myself with, you know, the other girls within
my genre that were doing so well, I was able
to create a buzz around myself. But then that's not
how you maintain and stay in the industry. You have
to obviously do the work. So I created the buzz,
and then once the buzz was there, I answered the
call and I did the work, and the rest is history.
(04:38):
I feel really like, I feel like it's really surreal.
I thought that I was going to come into the
industry and like do like a couple of projects because
I had done a project so long ago and I
felt like, Okay, I need to update like my look,
I need to update everything about myself on the internet.
So I will do a new like a new scene
with Groovy. But I had no idea that I'd work
with Evil Angel. I'd worked with Trans Angel, trans Central,
(05:01):
transfixed all all of the trans studios. You're really lucky.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
So you your first scene that you did, you said
it was five years ago.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
So the first solo scene that I did, right.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Your first like step into the adult industry.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
So my first step into the adult industry was, I
want to say, a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, yeah, Okay, it was a while, and that was
the solo scene with more than Buddy Yeah, with Buddy One.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Okay, so we did a solo scene out here. I'm
not gonna lie to you. The opportunity was great financially,
it did what it needed to do. But at the time,
there were not opportunities the way there are now. I'm
not even gonna pretend I did it. And that was
the end of that. There wasn't Okay, you've done this
and now you're going to go here and you're going
(05:50):
to do this, and we're gonna they're going to shoot you,
like maybe two or three times a year, and then
that was the end of it. There wasn't like a
space our opportunities or me specifically as a black trans woman,
and so I didn't really desire to pursue the industry
because I didn't feel like it was the time. But
(06:12):
recently it just really felt like it was the time,
and I think I was I think I was right.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, when you came back to the industry, did you
come back in recognizing that, like, Okay, there's more opportunities
for trans women now, or did you just kind of
come in because it felt like the right time for
you and then when you came in, you're like, oh wow,
this is different.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
So I felt like the scope of the views of
trans women period within entertainment industry, rather it be mainstream
or porn, I felt like the scope had brought it.
And I initially was like, I want to be like
an actress. I didn't really want to get into porn.
I was like, I'm going to move to LA and
I'm going to be an actress. It was around COVID.
(06:54):
COVID was just ending, so it was really kind of
hard to like get into that. To get into acting
kind of was really hard. And so then I went
to the T's and that to go first. So I'm
an actress, just not just a mattress actress, which I'm
really I'm really grateful for. I wouldn't really want to
happen any other way.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I love it, Like, would you want to still go
into mainstream acting at the opportunitutunity presented itself.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'll always be a sex worker because I've always been
a sex worker since I've been old enough to be
a sex worker. So I feel like I will always
be a sex worker. But I do know that I
want to broaden my horizons, broaden my my resume with
the things that I have as far as entertainment, and
I do feel like there are a lot of opportunities
(07:42):
for sex workers period within mainstream. What do you think
like over the last couple of years, I feel like
society has shifted there. I mean, with like only fans
in the different subscription sites, I feel like sex work
has become more prevalent within mainstream, the mainstream scope than
it ever went.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, I mean there's been a huge shift.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
I mean I've been very romanticized.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, I mean, there's a long way to go, right,
But I mean I've been in the industry for twenty
six years and then you know, I grew up around
it like watching, you know, with my parents being in
the industry. So it's definitely shifted a lot. I mean,
you know, you can look at certain benchmarks such as
Anora winning you know, Best Oscar and Mickey Madison winning
(08:25):
Best Actress. You know, and it's a movie about a
sex worker.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, seyeah, I did.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I did. I did like it, And I know that,
like some there's some debate on did it portray sex
workers fairly or not? And I'm just like, you know
what I mean, For me, I don't want to pick
apart every single TV show or movie that like has
a sex worker in it and be like you didn't
do it right. Like I think that it wasn't a
negative portrayal, you know, And I think Sean Baker has
(08:51):
always been an ally of like the sex worker community,
and so you know, I'm definitely not going to like
bash it in any way. And from me, it's just like,
you know, I like to take the like victories where
we can, you know, and so I just appreciate that
and I really, you know, for me, like what the
most important thing is is that, you know, he and
(09:11):
Mickey Madison went up on stage at the Oscars, the
you know, biggest awards show in the world and said
we are allies of sex workers and sex workers work
and like we believe in you and like we are
there for you, and like that is I think really big.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It was a really big thing. Yes. Yeah, I had
the opportunity to go to an advanced screening at the
Grove of you know.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I got invited and I didn't go. I know, I
didn't go because that I think was the week of
the x M A and ABN nominations, right and yeah,
and I had like serious mom guilt that week because
I had I went to those and I like wasn't
home for my daughter, and I was like, I can't
go out all of these nights and not be with her.
(10:00):
So I was like I have to sacrifice this one
thing and now I'm like, damn it. Which I had gone.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
It was really nice though, you know, we have the
dancers and the different performers and then Mikey was there
she spoke and answered some questions. It was really it
was really nice. I like the movie. There were traumatic points,
the love bombing. I felt like that was pretty accurate. Yeah,
I do, and I do feel like not every sex
worker is going to fall victim to that type of stuff,
(10:28):
But I do think that a lot are some girls
in the beginning of their you know, their journeys, could
fall victim to the love bombing of it all.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, like the belief that this incredibly rich child basically
is like in love with you and it's going to
like sweep you off your feet.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
And I think it more so has to do with
it being what you want. Yeah, so you kind of
just like, yeah, could happen. But then there's like, oh wait,
I have to be honest, this person is young and dumb,
and yeah, inexperience, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. But overall I liked it, did
you you know what, though, I have to say, like
some other I mean, I know, if we're going off
in a tangent. But in terms of like Oscar Worthy movies,
one movie that didn't get even nominated that I thought
was like so good and definitely was a best picture
contender that is full of sex was Baby Girl.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I have not had the chance to see her now.
I actually thank you for reminding me because I need
to go watch it. That was soon as possible.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, I loved that.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
She's on the Baby Girls on the list of the
best movies of the year, so I wanted to see
that one. That and Noora The Substance.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Oh, Substances wild.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I love that movie. Yes, it's it's the modern day
death becomes her for me.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yes, yes, I didn't think about that. That's the new one. Yes,
oh my god. Yes, Substance is just like it's such
a crazy movie. I love it. I loved it.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh my god, I would take this up.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But there there was a part like towards the end
when like everything was going crazy or just like turned
to my husband and I was like, how long does
this go on? For a lot?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yeah, the end, Yeah, it was just like a lot
and it's just like she's obviously like what is going on?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
But there was a purpose behind it, you know, like
I think it was obviously it meant, you know, the
excessive gore and like the excessiveness of our society was
what all of that meant? But it was the movie gave.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Me the industry vibes. I felt like the movie could
pertain to our industry, entertainment industry.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It was really yeah, it was really spot on. Yeah.
I mean there was a lot of like correlation. You know,
entertainment is entertainment industry, right. I mean, look like both
the mainstream entertainment industry and the adult entertainment industry, we're
selling sex kind of in both. One is just like
the package differently, and one is just like actually selling sex. Right,
(12:48):
I've gotten into the industry.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I always roll my eyes when I'm watching a movie
and here they go at the sex scene. They always
have to do a sex scene. Yeah, And I always
asked my exploit. Well at the time, I'd always ask
my ex boyfriend why do they always He's taught to
do this. He's like, well, humans love sex, and I'm like,
I guess it's true.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, yeah, I absolutely. Okay, go back to the questions. So,
I mean you seem to be like an incredibly driven
and focused person. I mean, honestly, to go to the
Tea Awards alone must have been pretty intimidating, right, But
like you seem to have a very you seem determined.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I had a kind of a relationship with Buddy Wood
and Steven, so I felt comfortable on that. On that end,
I didn't really know any of the girls, but I
had just broke up with my ex boyfriend and I
really wanted to surround myself with like community. At first,
I thought community was like just like hanging out with
other trans girls are hanging out with LGBTQ, and that
(13:46):
is my community. But I wanted to take it a
step further and hang out with people who were sex
workers because where I come from and how I am,
I can be considered too sexual or I'm doing too much.
And I always just kind of felt like if I
surrounded myself with people who were more like me, I
wouldn't be accused of just like being a whore, you know,
(14:06):
I would be more understood. So when I went there,
I did not feel intimidated or anything like that. I'm
very supportive of all of our Transport stars, so like
Daisy Taylor, Gracie Jane, and Morose, these girls I had
already already supported for so long online that when I
saw them, I just had to be like, Hey, it's
(14:27):
it's me. Leilani and they're like, oh hey, babe, Like
A felt kind of like.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
You felt welcome.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Well, I felt like I belonged, girl, And I feel
like it's not easy to get into the industry, and
if you do get into the industry, it's not easy
to be embraced by the industry. So getting in and
being embraced and being able to form relationships and associations
was like really like it was like a lot. It
was really good for me. Yeah. Was it nerve wrecking
(14:52):
to just like figure out what am I gonna wear
and things like that. I think that that was like
the only thing that I was like nervous about. But
once I got and I got a little bit of tequila,
and I was like, everybody here is like, you know,
like they're performers, so nobody is. I have no reason
to be shy because I'm the only one who's not
like a performer like them. So the only thing I
have to worry about is if I look pretty enough.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, so you said is it's hard to get into
the industry and it takes some work, So like what
do you mean by that, Like what were some of
the things that you did to kind of get yourself
there first?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
And foremost that being in the porn industry is a job,
so you're not always going to do scenarios that you
are necessarily comfortable or familiar with. And I think that
one thing that sets a performer apart from someone who
maybe won't last is your willingness to try those different things.
(15:46):
I feel like, okay, yeah, and I feel like if
I would to put myself in a box and then
like for me personally, that now some girls could stay
in a box and they can be like, no, this
is what I'm going to do, and the studios are
okay with that, but other girls need to be able
to do what needs to be done to maintain work
(16:06):
until you're able to establish yourself and then you're able
to maybe like, hey, this is what I this is
the kind of scene that I would like to do,
you know. But initially the scenes that you're going to
do are the scenes that the fans want to see.
It's not going to be like you don't get to
just come in and hey, this is gonna be my
showcase that I'm going to do. Take some time.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
You got to prove yourself.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah, you have to prove yourself before you get to
call the shots, so like doing like the trans orgies
are doing the translastist orgies. These are like initiation things
for me. I feel like, I'm not going to lie
to you. I feel like these are like initiation moments
for me that I rose to the occasion, and each
time that I rose to the occasion, I was able
to be granted another opportunity to advance myself with my career.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah gotcha. Yeah. So it's like it's not like you
get to come in and all of a sudden you
necessarily get like this the dream scene where you're the
star and you're or the center of attention. Sometimes you
got to prove yourself and a large group of people
and you know, I mean I know that this and
obviously totally different case, but I know, like when with
(17:10):
male performers when they come into the industry, you know,
sometimes they have this like preconceived notion that their first
scene is going to be, you know, with the top
born star and it's going to be and it's like, no,
you're gonna be thrown in a blow bank like see
if you can handle you know what I mean, and
then like you'll move up that r Yeah, that's like.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
That sounds like a lot. Oh yeah, it seems like
a dream. But I feel like for a guy to
go into that with unless he's already done something like that,
to have the different guys there performing as well, and
then to also have like the cameras and like the heat.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
And every could be like but like straight male CIS
performers that haven't proven themselves are a fucking dime a dozen. Yeah,
Like how there's so many dudes that like think they
can do porn right, you know, they just think it's
like just bang and chick. Yeah, And like I get
those dms all the time, like, oh I look to
have sex, I can be important. Start it's like oh really,
(18:06):
you know what I mean? And like so they they
don't stop and go all yeah, yeah, so they they
got to prove themselves. They don't really get to like
just Waltzon and like get like, you know, paired with
fucking Angela White or something. Yeah, it's not how it
works exactly. Absolutely. Hey there, Holly Randall here, Queen of
(18:26):
adult Entertainment and director extraordinaire. You know, I've overseen quite
a few cumshots in my day, And are you feeling
more like a birthday candle than July fourth, introducing our
own secret weapon on set, load Boost, whipped up by
the brainyacs at VB Health. VB Health is here to
(18:46):
make your load more impressive and more delicious. Why do
you think all my stars look like they could put
out a small forest fire with their final moments on camera?
Load boost is the secret sauce. This isn't just about volume, though,
It's got the taste righte and keeps those little swimmers
fit as a fiddle too. So are you ready to
show the bedroom whose boss? Want to make your partner
(19:09):
beg for an encore? Load boost is here to give
you that show stopping finish that you have been dreaming
about and your partner too. So stop fizzing out and
see what the fuss is all about. Visit loadboost dot
com and use code Holly for a smooth ten percent off,
or simply click the link in the episode description. You
can thank me later, darling, and so can your partner.
(19:32):
We all know Adam and Eve is the one stop
shop for everything sexy, and now with my code Holly,
you can get any one item for fifty percent off,
plus ten free gifts and you'll even get free shipping.
So spice up your sex life at Adam and Eve
dot com, but only if you use code Holly so Leilani,
(19:58):
you mentioned that your career has been a t transition
from survival sex work to building a brand through legal
sex work. Now that you're on the other side, what
would you tell your younger self.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I would tell my younger self to take yourself seriously honestly.
When I was in my survival sex work era, I
feel like there are always opportunities there for me. But
I think that I sold myself short and I didn't
believe myself the way that I should have, and it
took me a lot of trial and error and a
(20:30):
lot of making a lot of mistakes for me to
learn how to navigate this space. So I would tell
my younger self to build yourself up right now, like
everyone has to start from somewhere. It takes like two
to five years to build a brand, and if you
start today, you can be someone very very soon because
(20:50):
you have it in you.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What would you say to a young trans woman who's
considering getting into the adult industry in just in general?
Do you have many pieces of advice for them?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
The first thing that I would say is to weigh
out your options. There's a lot of opportunities in the
world today, and you do not have to rely on
our dive right into sex work. So if there's other
opportunities for you and you have other talents, then I
would suggest exploring that because we have such a what
(21:22):
is the word.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I mean, stigma, scarlet letter.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Scarlet letter, stigmas. It's saturated. There's just so much. So
weigh out your options as a young trans woman before
you decide to become a sex worker.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
How old were you when you decided to get into
the industry.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Eighteen?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, so some people do believe that, like eighteen is
too young. How do you feel about that.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
I didn't have a choice. I didn't really have a
lot of options, and I didn't have a lot of resources.
And I come from Las Vegas, and so I always
knew about sex work, and I weighed out my options,
and I had a job and I lived with someone,
but at the time, it wasn't sufficient and it really
(22:09):
didn't make sense, and so I started off with Escorty.
Can we talk about that, of course? Okay? Yeah, yeah,
because some people do not want to talk.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Okay, So we talk about all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Okay, So I started off as scorty.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Because it's like nothing to be ashamed about. It's I
love it, and I think that it's so important to
like relay that message like sex work is work, and
like full service sex work is I think, like a
very legitimate and valid form of sex work and a
form of therapy.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
And yeah, so I started transitioning around the same time.
When I started sex work, I didn't really have a
lot of options. I didn't have a lot of resources,
so I would like, you know, like post on different
websites and things to that nature, saved my money, invested
(22:55):
a little bit into myself, ended up meeting a boyfriend
and I stayed with him for a long long time
and then we broke up. Then I had to like
upgrade my sex work life. Yeah, but initially, like getting
into sex work, I had no choice. I really didn't
know what I was going to do, and I needed
to survive like that night, like literally needed to find
(23:18):
somewhere to sleep because I didn't really have like an option,
and so like I posted my first experience, I think
is why I kind of got into it. Like they
say that the quick money could really suck you in,
so I posted like an ad. I won't I won't
mention the websites not even around anymore. Yeah, but I
posted an ad on a website and I was able
(23:38):
to meet a guy in Miami who sent in my
drum eighteen. So he sent me and my friends, or
he sent me my friends were with me. He sent
me like some money because I told my situation. He
sent me money and I was like so shocked by
how much money he sent me that me and my
friends went out to eat. I was really young, so
I didn't it's so fully now that I think about it,
(24:01):
like we're like literally homeless and some random guy sends
me money to like be okay, and we went to
the palm spuffe. It was so money, so and I
paid for them because I'm like a generous person. I
wanted to have a good time. I was like, you
have money, we've been struggling, let's go to the palm spuffe.
So we did that and I was like, oh shit,
(24:22):
I didn't anticipate it being so much. He only sent
so much. Now we don't have anything. And then I
hit him up again. I was like, Daddy, Steve, this
is so long ago that doesn't matter. But I was like, Daddy, Steve.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Did I tell him that you spent it?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I just hid the palm stuffe I. I was very manipulus.
So one of the things about me in the beginning
of my sex work journey was my I was kind
of manipulative. Now that I've grown and I've gotten older,
it's better for it to be an even exchange if
you really want to build something or take something out
of it. Playing games with people's time. Playing games with people,
(24:58):
you usually don't keep any of the things that you accumulate.
But when you start to do things from a genuine perspective,
that's when you can start building. Like with like with
any other industry, you don't you don't play games with
sex work or it's gonna play games with you. So
I did not tell him what I did, but I
told him that I needed more, and he sent me
(25:19):
more and we got a hotel room for a couple
of days. And then I guess I was like kind
of hooked. So I never had the opportunity to even
weigh out if there was other opportunities for me. I
kind of just got into sex work. Yeah, And then
because I was young, I was eighteen. Of course, mentally,
it fucked with me a lot, and so that's when
I like retreat it back to my family, which I left.
My family, we don't always see eye to eye. So
(25:42):
I think it was like a cultural shock to go
from being a sex worker to like being with my family.
And my family's really tough on me. They want me
to figure it out on my own. They'll they'll, they'll
provide me with some support, but they want me to
figure things out on my own. And I just kept
like struggling between like the struggle that I'm dealing with
and knowing that I just go back into sex work.
And so I did go back into sex work. And
(26:03):
when I went back into sex work, I told myself,
this time, I'm going to take it seriously, and so
I did. And I haven't had a real job.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
A real job in a decade.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Well, you know that's what people always say, like when
it comes to sex work, get a real job. Like
there's a lot of stuff that goes into sex work,
Like you have to produce, you have to distribute, you
have the market, you have to you don't always have
money to like get your hair done and do your makeup,
so there's a lot of investing in time that goes
into sex work. It's not just propping up a camera
(26:36):
and I'm hot, I'm going to stroke it, I'm gonna
come and you're gonna love me.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I mean, it's that. But as you build yourself up,
it's like you have to make from you. Yeah, you
have to present yourself in a way that people want
to see that.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Well, yeah, there's a lot of girls doing the same
thing you're doing on a very high quality level. So
if you want to be considered, then you need to
make sure that you're doing it the exact same way.
Are better?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, how is scorting overall for you? Like, did you
enjoy it? Was it ever scary?
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Like, it's always scary. I've been doing it. I don't
do it now, but I had been doing it for
a long time. It doesn't matter how long I've been
doing it or how many instances that I've had. It's
always going to be scary unless you know the person.
And even when you know the person, it's still really
scary because you just never know. I think that men
when it comes to you know, Holly, like when men
(27:28):
are horny and they're one way, they're one way, but
then when that's over with, they can be another way.
And it's just like it can be a lot.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
You ever had like unexpected situation surprises? Yes, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah, I am so numb to it because I had
done it for so long, and when I would work,
I would like literally like it's like going into like Narnia.
It's like you clock in mentally and then when you're done,
you clock back, clock back into reality. So I have
(28:04):
had experiences, but I can't even like really remember them.
So it's like, was there any really experiences. I only
remember the good things, not really. I do remember one
specific I actually do remember one specific time. It's a
really crazy time. So in my beginning days, I connected
with a gentleman who wanted to be fisted. And this
(28:25):
is a long, long time ago, in the beginning of
my days, and I didn't know what I was doing,
and so I kind of like threw my friend in
the mix. I was like, Hey, this guy wants to
be like fisted at a park. Would you be willing
to do it? It was just spettish. He wanted to
be fisted at a public location. Oh my gosh, I know.
(28:46):
He went to the public fisting. I already knew that
I wasn't going to do it, so I incorporated my
friend who said they would. And then my friend did
not want to do it either because it was just
like so much. He really wanted to like llo deep
that's a good word, because we thought it was going
to be just like a little moment, but he wanted
like elbow deep on the bench, and my friend didn't
(29:09):
want to do it, and so we were.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
What happens if like someone shows up.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
There was like nighttime, and I guess the guy was
really he had been doing this at this location, okay,
for so long that he was confident and we were
so young we should not have done that. Yeah, so
basically he had been doing it a lot, and mind you,
he knew that he could feel that we were not
in it. So we were like hesitant, and my friend
was hesitant to perform the act. So then the guy
(29:35):
hops up and was like, becket, you guys are going
to do it. I paid you guys. I'm leaving you
guys at the park, and we're like okay, So then
we're walking home or walking back because he's left us,
and sure enough, girl, he came to run us over.
He yes, he zoomed in on us and try to
run us over, and like we hopped, we jumped out
the way really fast, and then he like zoomed around again.
(29:58):
It's nighttime, so thank we had that going for us,
and so like we're like hiding in a bush and
he's like creeping down the street passing the bush. We're
just like shaking the cars like right there, and he's
like driving really slow looking for us because we didn't
fist him. So I think that that is one of
(30:19):
the worst experiences that I ever had. I remember his name,
I remember everything about It was so scary. And then
he emailed me later that night and told me that
I should be lucky that nothing happened, because that was
his intent when we played with him. And that's when
I realized that you just really shouldn't play with people's time,
(30:39):
our money and those types of situations.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, do you feel like, do you feel like if
you've given him his money back, like you wouldn't have
had that situation.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Well, there was no money to be given back because
the fist was fisted, it just wasn't elbow deep. And
when he could feel that we were getting hesitant, he
hopped up and said he's going to leave us. He
went into a fucking fit, right, and so then we're
like okay, it's like the middle of the night. We're
sitting there like our little piece of change we just got,
(31:08):
like whatever, girl, well yeah we'll go buy a weed.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Yeah. So we're skipping away like yay, we just got
our little chump change, and here he came whoom. We're like,
oh my god, and we like hop out the way
and then he's like coming back and he's like all
driving slow, and it's like here we are, here's the bush,
here we are, and here's this car, like I could
have reached out and touched it. And he's like driving
really slowly, wondering where we're at. Oh that was really crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Are there any ways like with your experience that you know,
anyone who's considering escorting could like, I don't know, do
it more safely or they're like, was it you?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
I am at a place in my career where I
require ID and I require a deposit. Not everyone's gonna
want to do that because a lot of men are like,
who are you for me to be sending you my information?
It's really not a realistic thing. And as a matter
of fact, I used to give girls that advice until
one day my friend was like, bitch, that's not realistic.
(32:06):
No one's going to send me a deposit and no
one's going to send me a picture of their ID.
And then I was like, you know, honestly, I guess
that is kind of true. I'm delusional when it comes
to this.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Because you don't really need that at this point, right, Like,
you don't need to escort.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
If I do escort, they have to send me the
centure of their ID in this yeah, because I won't
do I don't need to do it. So if I
do it, I need to build one hundred safe And
even when I have their ID and I have the deposit, girl,
I still feel scared until I'm back in my safe space,
you know. But one thing that you could do is
(32:39):
you can screen. There are different apps that you could
use that I don't want to put this the app
on I'm not going to. I can't say I'm not
going to say the app because I don't want the
men to have the app. But there is an app
that you can use, and it's a very old app.
I've used it my whole journey and it's a very
extensive database. If you put a number, if the man
(33:01):
is a problem, they're going to be reports. So there
are apps you can use to screen people. Do not
use screen or tech stap numbers. Do not accept tech
stap numbers, and also ask questions, get to know the person.
Set your rate at an amount that the normal person
(33:22):
can't just agree to you like I don't know, like
back in the day when I was doing sur Bible
sex work girl, it was like sixty dollars in one
to twenty and it was like bullshit. And then I
was like, you know what, I'm going to charge like
two hundred, and it stopped being so bad, but it
was still kind of shitty. And then I started charging
like five hundred, and then I was like, hey, this
is like a better type of a deal.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
I feel like you get like a different clientele.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Well, I feel like the rates at the time kind
of weed out people who are like bad. You know,
anyone can agree to anything, but I feel like you
just throw out a number that sounds kind of right
and not so low and they'll be like either yeah
or no, you know, and take it from there. I
hate when I hate when I'm like I want X
amount and they're like okay, because I'm like fuck.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, I know, and you have to do it. That's
what I learned to do, the ID thing.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, so yeah, if you want to
get into escorting and you want to be safe, make
sure you're screening the people. You're talking to them, looking
them up and not taking techtop numbers and things like that.
You want these people to be connected to you if
there was an issue, right, yeah, And if there's no issue,
there's no problem. But if there is an issue, if
(34:29):
there was an investigation that need to be had, then
you know the records there.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Yeah yeah, yeah, So back to mainstream porn. Yeah, what
are your favorite kinds of scenes to shoot?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
I love to do boy girl girl scenes, which is
basically a trans girl, an assist female and a guy.
I love those a lot. It's how I lost my
virginity before I got into the industry, and I feel
like I've had a lot of sexual experiences in my life,
but I think that I'm limited on the experiences with couples,
(35:02):
and I love them so much. As a matter of fact,
since I've gotten into the industry, I feel like I've
had like the most interactions with couples that I ever
had in my life. So if I had to like
do anything, I would want to do like that type
of a scene because you get to, like, you get
to have fun with like the female performer for the
(35:23):
guy's pleasure, which I that's what really turns me on
about it, and then when you're done doing that for him,
you get to watch him do it, and I just
turns me on a lot.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I left it a lot. Yeah, I can tell. Do
you have any particular scenes out there that you think
were really great ones that people should check out if
they want to see some of your work?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah, I think that if you wanted to see like
me as a versatile performer and see me like in
the like in my full regalia, I think that the
scene that I did with Evil Angel featuring me and
Tony Sting would be the best scene to look at.
It was a versatile scene. It's one of my early scenes,
(36:01):
and you can tell that the drive, the hunger and
the passion and just it was it was a lot. Yeah,
it was really hot. I actually watch it on my
spare time, so it's really hot.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
So you like to watch yourself.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
I depending on the project. Yes, yes, if I because
I'm very I mean very critical of myself, which we all,
I'm sure we are. I'm very critical of myself. So
there are some scenes that I don't like watching because
I just don't like the way that I look at all.
But that is one of the scenes that from the
top to the bottom, I'm like, oh my god. And
(36:37):
I watched the scene one time and I was like, bitch,
this is why you're where you No, seriously, yeah, I was,
because you know, when you are working and you're working
so closely with top girls, sometimes it can get skewed
like am I Am I good enough? Or have I
made the right alignments? But when I start watching my performances,
(36:58):
I'm like, girl, this is why you're where you're where
you're at. There's no one there, that's just you by yourself,
like carrying the scene. So yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Like to have like personal validation. Yeah, exactly, all that
hard work.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Well, I think that it's very important that we do
a lot of positive self affirmations and things like that
in an industry that nitpicks you and you're under a
scope you know, fan your fans, Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Know, Yeah, how do you deal with like trolls online
and negative feedback online because you know everyone in the
sex industry gets it.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
So I only recently start dealing with the trolls online
because up until recently I was very created with my
image and so I didn't really I didn't leave a
lot of room for criticism. But now that I put
myself out there more with hardcore work and getting on
podcasts and speaking more, I am susceptible to more criticism.
(37:57):
And the way I handle it is I just don't
handle it. I really, I really don't care. The things
that people say about me will never be worse than
what I've said about my own self. So you can
say whatever you want to say about me, because I've
already said it to myself.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Yeah that's true.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
And the best part about it is that I'm working
on it. So you can say that today, but the
next time you won't have the opportunity to say it.
So give me your criticism and I'm going to take it.
I'm going to eat it, and I'm going to correct
it if I feel like I need to, and if
I don't, I really don't care.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
How do you take care of your mental health? Just
in general? And maintain like a healthy work life balance.
Do you find that a challenge?
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yes, I smoke a lot of weed when I was
way younger. I had my journey with substances and I
had a really, really fun time. But I had a
lot of opportunities given to me when I was younger,
and I lost a lot of them, and I felt
like the contributing factor was my non sobriety. So I've
(39:05):
been sober for a long time, like maybe it's like
ten years, I will say, other than smoking weed, So
but I do smoke weed. I tend to listen to
a lot of music. And I am a very introverted person.
The way that I am online and the way that
I present myself online like this really sexual being and
(39:26):
I am that. But in my personal life, I'm just
like I'm just a girl. I'm just a trans girl. Stuffic,
but I'm just a trans girl with my dogs walking them,
listening to music and smoking a lot of weed and
just like trying to stay true to the things that
I've always liked. So I don't, like, you know, like
lose myself. But mental health in this industry could be
(39:49):
like a lot. So it's better that you surround yourself
with other people who have already been in this industry
to help you navigate, and also just try not to
forget who you are like money, fans, notoriety, attention. All
those things can make you lose yourself, but you have
to try to stay true to the core person of
(40:09):
who you are. And also don't forget why you come
into the industry. We don't come into the industry because
we want to be pretty and we want to get fucked.
We come into this industry because we want to get paid,
and a lot of the times we come into this
industry because we have no other options. So don't forget
that and don't lose yourself, and just always think about
what you're going to be doing after the industry, rather
(40:30):
it be contributing to the industry as a producer or
director or whatever it is that you want to do,
like going to be a nun. You know, some people
leave the industry and find religion. That's true. Yes, a
lot of people do.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
It's true. Do you have any plans, like an exit plan?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
This is my life. I've always been. I went from
being like an escort to being a performer, and I
think that as I learn more and continue to develop.
I would like to contribute to the trans genre with like,
you know, my perspective of our sex life, like being
a director, producer, something to that scope. That's the pipeline, right,
(41:10):
you go from performer to director. I met like a
lot of people who still perform and direct. Do you perform?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
No? No, no, okay, so you you strictly are just yeah,
I mean I have an only fan, so that was
that was an accident, fol story. But yeah, so I've
always been a photographer and director because.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
You come from you are a a sex work nepto baby.
I well, I did research on you months ago when
I was like.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Sex work neo baby. I've never heard that's I love that. Actually,
well I've heard anyone say that before, but the very true.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
But not the same scope. My mother actually was an escort,
like a second generation sex worker.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm a second generation pornographer.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So yeah, and yeah I saw that your mother was
Susan or sus Randall.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's her right behind you, that little
frame right there.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Yeah, I think it's very very cool. Yeah, contribute a
lot to the industry.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
So you are known for your big loads. What's your secret.
So my big secret for such loads are as soon
as that as soon as I'm booked for a shoot,
I become celibate, so I'm able to like hold off
and save up. And yeah, that's how it works.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
And the scenes that I had the biggest loads, and
I actually was not on my hormones at the time,
and so it really helped contribute the retention, the COUM retention. Yeah,
plus no hormones really helped. Oh and then also my
scene partners for these loads were really hot. But Lerica still,
(42:50):
I know, I did a really big load for our
scene and the scene with Tony Steing, the one that
I was telling you.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Right right, Yeah, So how many days can you not
take hormones? Because I don't really know how it works,
Like how like what's like okay where you don't like
have side effects.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
I feel like you're going to have side effects if
it's Yeah, I feel like you're going to have side
effects if you need to take your hormones and you
haven't taken them. But I think that like two weeks
to three weeks off of hormones would be sufficient enough
for you to be able to like produce like something, Now,
will it be like milky and you're going to be
(43:27):
able to reproduce. No, but will it be a big
enough load? It will be clear?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, So do you feel like that's a good like
for you? Is that? Does that feel like that works?
Taking like two weeks off to prepare for a scene?
Does that feel like that works for you? And that'll
give you good results?
Speaker 3 (43:45):
So at the time it works, but these days it's
not working. And so there's like supplements that you can take.
Like this guy came on me the other day with
so much and I was like, oh my god, that's
like a lot of comment. It was actually it was intimidating. Mmmm.
It was like a lot. It was like a little
bother something and I was like, wow, that's like not
normal and he was like, oh no, it's because I
(44:06):
take a supplement. And I was like, oh cool. So
he gave me the supplement on my list, so I'm
probably going to buy it.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Oh was it a load boost by VB Health And
if you use code Holly at load boost dot com
you can get a discount.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Yeah, it was that, and I appreciate you reminding me
about the code to use.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Oh my goodness, Well, funny enough because they sponsored this podcast,
and you heard it from Leilani that it is the
secret power. I was drenched and loads, drenched and loads.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
It was obvious he has took at a substance because
I was like, did you pop up the loan on me?
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Like?
Speaker 3 (44:42):
What is this?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
Get?
Speaker 3 (44:43):
This was so much.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
It was thanks to load boost and she was drenched
in it, and I was like, I'm going to do this.
Yes see, thank you VB Health. Yes, all right, load
boost dot com use code Holly, get your discount and
get your load up there. Yes, w rench your partner income.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Is it zinc? What is it?
Speaker 2 (45:04):
That's zinc and a bunch of others.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Yeah, there's like this. Yeah, I think it's like zinc.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Yeah. I don't have my card, so I can't remember
exactly what it is, but it's it's a lot of stuff.
I think the ad might run during this, during this episode.
So I said it in the ad. Yeah, you said
it in the ad. Yes, we so we know.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
We reiterated its effects and usage.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Oh my gosh, what did it mean to you become
the first black trans woman to win two avins?
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Oh my god, it's the real. It's unbelievable. I feel
like it's just an honor. I love our community, I
love I love ab I see I've come into the
industry when all of the stuff that is known, I'm
not aware of it. So everything that I hear is
by you know, word of mouth, not through experience. There
(45:57):
have been there have been some instances where like last year,
there was a lot of backlash that Avian received for
the lack of trans voices and also.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Not like presentation. Yes, like the trans None of the
trans awards were like stage accepting awards.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
So there was one and it was for the best transactress.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Yes that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
But the problem was is that Daisy had gotten sick,
so she was not able to come. But I feel
like if she had been there and she wouldn't have
gotten sick and she was able to be on stage,
the narrati wouldn't have been able to have that narrative.
I do believe that there were other genres that were
like dB W correct YEA. Now now, there were other
(46:47):
genres that were that were underrepresented, perhaps the trans genre.
There were trans there was I'm obry Kate presented. I
got to be one of the first black trans women too,
went into a ward that night, and Daisy, had she
been there, would have had the opportunity to go up there.
So I honestly I might get some backlash for saying this,
(47:10):
but I do feel like there were a lot of
misconceptions with last year's aban show, and me winning an
award is not the most important thing, but the drama
in the backlash because of the perceived situation took away
from the.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Win for me personally, I understand.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
Yeah, And but I will say this regardless if it
was called for, not called for, Avian heard us and
this year, oh lord it was. It was so inclusive,
right yeah, and Tony and Avian and the show and
(47:55):
everyone really made sure that the trans women were unrestected,
represented and treated. I mean, we have KNU complaints this year.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I mean, I think it's like really important because you
know that when a company is you know, criticized for
something and they hear it, yes, and they take moves
to correct it, because like every single company brand is
going to take some kind of misstep there, Like it's
just inevitable, right, Like we're not perfect. And what the
(48:27):
important thing is that I think is that they they
hear it and they make moves to correct that. I
think that that's what matters to people, and I think
especially for Avian, it's not just like what we see
there in the audience, but Avian is also distributed on
showtime to a much larger audience, So then like the
representation is also like manifested there too, and that's also
(48:50):
really important.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
Yes, it is, So I think that that's that's really
It is definitely important for the companies and the industry
that uses that to uplift us because it does translate
into the real world and with everything that's going on
these days within with the trans community, I think it's
(49:11):
really as important that our allies and the people that
we align ourselves with do handle us in a way
that sets the tone in a positive light for the
way society treats us as well.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, what I would love to see and something that
expis did not last year but the year before is
have a trans woman host.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
Yeah was the first.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Emma was the first.
Speaker 3 (49:38):
I didn't get to go. Expist didn't nominate me that
year and I was only like so into my career
and I think porn Hub was the next week, or
maybe a b Aben was the next, and I had
to do at Aben. So I didn't get to go
to exbis when Emma, but I sent my support. I
love Emma. I sent my support because it was like
a really really big deal. Yeah, I feel like, like
(49:59):
I was telling you early, I feel like I've come
into this industry around the time where things are changing,
not only just for black trans women, but for trans
women period. I've heard a lot. I've heard a lot
of different things and a lot of different stories, and
I'm just glad that I'm here now and didn't have
to be there then, because like the girls like Foxy
and a Toassia Dreams, the girls that had to endure
(50:21):
those times and to be able to like push through
and make a market in this industry, it really took
a lot of courage and like a lot you know,
now it's not easy, but it's way easier than it was.
And then the industry treats us so nicely right now.
I guess back in the day they didn't.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
Yeah, yeah, no, all times are changing, so it's it's
good to see the progress for sure. Well, Leilani, thank
you so much for coming on.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
Such a wonderful time with you. By the way, just
one last thing, so for the XM A pre party
is where I first saw you. Oh, but Ariel, I
was with Ariel and then you guys are doing a
long interview, so I didn't get to interview with you.
And then I saw you again for ABN, but you're
also doing a really long interview, so I never really
had the chance to introduce myself to you. So I'm
(51:10):
really happy that, Yeah, your reality, you.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Get more than like I don't know, like five three
minutes with me. Yeah, we get to sit down and talk.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
I mean, you're always in your zone, you got your
camera going, and you're always so busy, so well, and.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
Those things are it's hard to like the red carpet
interviews are like they're fun, but they're also super stressful
because there's so many people, and like I always get
yelled at for holding up the red carpet because like
people stop because they want to talk to me, and
like there's such a like they're trying to keep a
flow going. So the security guards and everybody who runs
(51:45):
the Red carpet is literally constantly yelling at me and
yelling at my team. So my cameraman I'll like be
talking to someone for like literally forty five seconds and
he'll be like wrap it up, and I'm like, I'm like,
but I we just got started. I like barely get.
I don't get to like ask them anything ob sustance.
I feel like I don't get and so I'm like
constantly like.
Speaker 3 (52:04):
Is that why you always do the end now? Because
I feel like you're always at the end of it
when I see you, You're always the last one.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
I don't know. I think it's just like the way
that it's It's just like that's just how it's been. Yeah,
I don't know, that's just where.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
I end up. Yeah. Well, now that I've met you
and we've met I feel like the next time I
see you on the red carpet, it'll be easier to.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Say hi to you. Yes. Absolutely, Thank you so.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Much, Holly for having me. I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
Of course, can you let everybody know where they can
find you online? Please?
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I am on Twitter as Leilani Underscore Lee, and I'm
also on Instagram as I am Leilani Lee. And you
can also find me on OnlyFans as OnlyFans dot Com
slash Leilani Underscore Lee. You can always just google my
name and everything will pop up. It's so much easier.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
Yes, and you guys can find me on all my
platforms at hollylinks dot com, on Instagram, and on x
at Holly Randall. And of course, if you want to
support this podcast and watch these interviews streamed live and
get access to all kinds of bonus content, go to
Patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered, go to xuee
(53:12):
dot io to sign up for the next revolutionary adult
creator platform, and also go to Excessive mag for my
new online magazine. That's x siv mag dot com. Thank
you guys so much for joining us and I will
see you next week
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. Before I
introduce you to my stunning guest, let me tell you
about my sponsor, Flashlight. Fleshlight is the number one selling
mail sex toy in the world, and it can help
you reach new heights of self pleasure. Just go to
hru pod dot com, click flesh Light and use code
Holly to get ten percent off of your new delicious device.
(00:50):
All right, guys, my guest today has made a lot
of waves in her just two years in the industry.
She is the first black trans woman to win two ABMs,
including being crowned last year's Best Trans Newcomer. Welcome Leilani Lee, Hi, Holly,
how are you and good? How are you?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I'm doing really good. Thank you for having me and
so happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Thank you so much for coming. I'm so happy that
you're here. So we were just saying before we jump
into your story and all of that. The THA Awards
just happened.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
They did, Yeah, which.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I wanted to go to, but unfortunately had a family emergency.
So I couldn't go, but tell me a little bit
about how your experience was. And for those who don't
know what the THA Awards are, well.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
The Tea Awards are the Trans Erotic Awards, which is
the only award show of its kind. It is an
award show that is solely focused on trans and LGBTQ
on performers within the adult space. We come together once
a year every year for a pre party and we
come together for an award show to celebrate all of
our projects that we've done throughout the year.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And so how was the show this year?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
So this year the show is really really really good.
I feel like with everything that's going on in the world,
it was like a really safe place to just like
have camaraderie, catch up and just like celebrate as like
a family. I feel like the winds are important, but
then just getting together and just like being a community
(02:15):
is like the most important part of the show. And
like that's the best like takeaway of it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, I mean, that's definitely the one thing that I
love about the convention and the award shows is the
family that is the adult industry exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, Yeah, you're actually right, to be fair, most of
the conventions and award shows. Do feel family oriented rather
it be the teas expis or apen. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
So let's talk about your beginnings, your origin story.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, my origin story.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah. So how did you get into the adult industry?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Initially? I did solo work a long long time ago.
I was discovered by Buddy Wood on an app. He
asked me if I wanted to shoot a project. I did.
It was solo. I didn't really feel like there was
a career for me or our opportunities at the time,
so I did that and then I kind of disappeared.
(03:09):
But then recently two years ago, actually I went to
the Tees. So my two year anniversary being a hardcore
performer just passed. So I went to the Tees two
years ago, and just like networks, I went by myself.
Didn't really know what to expect, but I networked, met
a few people, made sure to, you know, take some
good pictures with a couple of performers, and then the
next thing, you know, like a couple of performers. Aerial
(03:30):
Demir specifically.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Love We do love Ariel.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
You do love her? Yes? She asked me if I
was interested in collabing with her, specifically, and I was like, yeah,
I would love to collab with you. I've never had
done a collab at the time to that capacity, so
we did it. Afterwards, she was like, you know, that
was a really good collab. You did a really good job.
We have a project that we're working on. Would you
like to be involved in it? And I was like yeah, sure.
(03:56):
So I ended up doing that project and working with
with all of the girls, all the trans girls we
did Gorgons are not Gorgons and goddesses. This one that
we did was a summer bash orgy that we did. Yeah,
and we shot this at Anna Box's house and so
we did that and then from there, I feel like
the rest was like history because I was able to
(04:16):
from aligning myself with, you know, the other girls within
my genre that were doing so well, I was able
to create a buzz around myself. But then that's not
how you maintain and stay in the industry. You have
to obviously do the work. So I created the buzz,
and then once the buzz was there, I answered the
call and I did the work, and the rest is history.
(04:38):
I feel really like, I feel like it's really surreal.
I thought that I was going to come into the
industry and like do like a couple of projects because
I had done a project so long ago and I
felt like, Okay, I need to update like my look,
I need to update everything about myself on the internet.
So I will do a new like a new scene
with Groovy. But I had no idea that I'd work
with Evil Angel. I'd worked with Trans Angel, trans Central,
(05:01):
transfixed all all of the trans studios. You're really lucky.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
So you your first scene that you did, you said
it was five years ago.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
So the first solo scene that I did, right.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Your first like step into the adult industry.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
So my first step into the adult industry was, I
want to say, a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, yeah, Okay, it was a while, and that was
the solo scene with more than Buddy Yeah, with Buddy One.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Okay, so we did a solo scene out here. I'm
not gonna lie to you. The opportunity was great financially,
it did what it needed to do. But at the time,
there were not opportunities the way there are now. I'm
not even gonna pretend I did it. And that was
the end of that. There wasn't Okay, you've done this
and now you're going to go here and you're going
(05:50):
to do this, and we're gonna they're going to shoot you,
like maybe two or three times a year, and then
that was the end of it. There wasn't like a
space our opportunities or me specifically as a black trans woman,
and so I didn't really desire to pursue the industry
because I didn't feel like it was the time. But
(06:12):
recently it just really felt like it was the time,
and I think I was I think I was right.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, when you came back to the industry, did you
come back in recognizing that, like, Okay, there's more opportunities
for trans women now, or did you just kind of
come in because it felt like the right time for
you and then when you came in, you're like, oh wow,
this is different.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
So I felt like the scope of the views of
trans women period within entertainment industry, rather it be mainstream
or porn, I felt like the scope had brought it.
And I initially was like, I want to be like
an actress. I didn't really want to get into porn.
I was like, I'm going to move to LA and
I'm going to be an actress. It was around COVID.
(06:54):
COVID was just ending, so it was really kind of
hard to like get into that. To get into acting
kind of was really hard. And so then I went
to the T's and that to go first. So I'm
an actress, just not just a mattress actress, which I'm
really I'm really grateful for. I wouldn't really want to
happen any other way.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I love it, Like, would you want to still go
into mainstream acting at the opportunitutunity presented itself.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'll always be a sex worker because I've always been
a sex worker since I've been old enough to be
a sex worker. So I feel like I will always
be a sex worker. But I do know that I
want to broaden my horizons, broaden my my resume with
the things that I have as far as entertainment, and
I do feel like there are a lot of opportunities
(07:42):
for sex workers period within mainstream. What do you think
like over the last couple of years, I feel like
society has shifted there. I mean, with like only fans
in the different subscription sites, I feel like sex work
has become more prevalent within mainstream, the mainstream scope than
it ever went.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, I mean there's been a huge shift.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
I mean I've been very romanticized.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, I mean, there's a long way to go, right,
But I mean I've been in the industry for twenty
six years and then you know, I grew up around
it like watching, you know, with my parents being in
the industry. So it's definitely shifted a lot. I mean,
you know, you can look at certain benchmarks such as
Anora winning you know, Best Oscar and Mickey Madison winning
(08:25):
Best Actress. You know, and it's a movie about a
sex worker.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, seyeah, I did.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I did. I did like it, And I know that,
like some there's some debate on did it portray sex
workers fairly or not? And I'm just like, you know
what I mean, For me, I don't want to pick
apart every single TV show or movie that like has
a sex worker in it and be like you didn't
do it right. Like I think that it wasn't a
negative portrayal, you know, And I think Sean Baker has
(08:51):
always been an ally of like the sex worker community,
and so you know, I'm definitely not going to like
bash it in any way. And from me, it's just like,
you know, I like to take the like victories where
we can, you know, and so I just appreciate that
and I really, you know, for me, like what the
most important thing is is that, you know, he and
(09:11):
Mickey Madison went up on stage at the Oscars, the
you know, biggest awards show in the world and said
we are allies of sex workers and sex workers work
and like we believe in you and like we are
there for you, and like that is I think really big.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It was a really big thing. Yes. Yeah, I had
the opportunity to go to an advanced screening at the
Grove of you know.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I got invited and I didn't go. I know, I
didn't go because that I think was the week of
the x M A and ABN nominations, right and yeah,
and I had like serious mom guilt that week because
I had I went to those and I like wasn't
home for my daughter, and I was like, I can't
go out all of these nights and not be with her.
(10:00):
So I was like I have to sacrifice this one
thing and now I'm like, damn it. Which I had gone.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
It was really nice though, you know, we have the
dancers and the different performers and then Mikey was there
she spoke and answered some questions. It was really it
was really nice. I like the movie. There were traumatic points,
the love bombing. I felt like that was pretty accurate. Yeah,
I do, and I do feel like not every sex
worker is going to fall victim to that type of stuff,
(10:28):
But I do think that a lot are some girls
in the beginning of their you know, their journeys, could
fall victim to the love bombing of it all.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, like the belief that this incredibly rich child basically
is like in love with you and it's going to
like sweep you off your feet.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
And I think it more so has to do with
it being what you want. Yeah, so you kind of
just like, yeah, could happen. But then there's like, oh wait,
I have to be honest, this person is young and dumb,
and yeah, inexperience, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. But overall I liked it, did
you you know what, though, I have to say, like
some other I mean, I know, if we're going off
in a tangent. But in terms of like Oscar Worthy movies,
one movie that didn't get even nominated that I thought
was like so good and definitely was a best picture
contender that is full of sex was Baby Girl.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I have not had the chance to see her now.
I actually thank you for reminding me because I need
to go watch it. That was soon as possible.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, I loved that.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
She's on the Baby Girls on the list of the
best movies of the year, so I wanted to see
that one. That and Noora The Substance.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Oh, Substances wild.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I love that movie. Yes, it's it's the modern day
death becomes her for me.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yes, yes, I didn't think about that. That's the new one. Yes,
oh my god. Yes, Substance is just like it's such
a crazy movie. I love it. I loved it.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh my god, I would take this up.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But there there was a part like towards the end
when like everything was going crazy or just like turned
to my husband and I was like, how long does
this go on? For a lot?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yeah, the end, Yeah, it was just like a lot
and it's just like she's obviously like what is going on?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
But there was a purpose behind it, you know, like
I think it was obviously it meant, you know, the
excessive gore and like the excessiveness of our society was
what all of that meant? But it was the movie gave.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Me the industry vibes. I felt like the movie could
pertain to our industry, entertainment industry.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It was really yeah, it was really spot on. Yeah.
I mean there was a lot of like correlation. You know,
entertainment is entertainment industry, right. I mean, look like both
the mainstream entertainment industry and the adult entertainment industry, we're
selling sex kind of in both. One is just like
the package differently, and one is just like actually selling sex. Right,
(12:48):
I've gotten into the industry.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I always roll my eyes when I'm watching a movie
and here they go at the sex scene. They always
have to do a sex scene. Yeah, And I always
asked my exploit. Well at the time, I'd always ask
my ex boyfriend why do they always He's taught to
do this. He's like, well, humans love sex, and I'm like,
I guess it's true.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, yeah, I absolutely. Okay, go back to the questions. So,
I mean you seem to be like an incredibly driven
and focused person. I mean, honestly, to go to the
Tea Awards alone must have been pretty intimidating, right, But
like you seem to have a very you seem determined.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I had a kind of a relationship with Buddy Wood
and Steven, so I felt comfortable on that. On that end,
I didn't really know any of the girls, but I
had just broke up with my ex boyfriend and I
really wanted to surround myself with like community. At first,
I thought community was like just like hanging out with
other trans girls are hanging out with LGBTQ, and that
(13:46):
is my community. But I wanted to take it a
step further and hang out with people who were sex
workers because where I come from and how I am,
I can be considered too sexual or I'm doing too much.
And I always just kind of felt like if I
surrounded myself with people who were more like me, I
wouldn't be accused of just like being a whore, you know,
(14:06):
I would be more understood. So when I went there,
I did not feel intimidated or anything like that. I'm
very supportive of all of our Transport stars, so like
Daisy Taylor, Gracie Jane, and Morose, these girls I had
already already supported for so long online that when I
saw them, I just had to be like, Hey, it's
(14:27):
it's me. Leilani and they're like, oh hey, babe, Like
A felt kind of like.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
You felt welcome.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Well, I felt like I belonged, girl, And I feel
like it's not easy to get into the industry, and
if you do get into the industry, it's not easy
to be embraced by the industry. So getting in and
being embraced and being able to form relationships and associations
was like really like it was like a lot. It
was really good for me. Yeah. Was it nerve wrecking
(14:52):
to just like figure out what am I gonna wear
and things like that. I think that that was like
the only thing that I was like nervous about. But
once I got and I got a little bit of tequila,
and I was like, everybody here is like, you know,
like they're performers, so nobody is. I have no reason
to be shy because I'm the only one who's not
like a performer like them. So the only thing I
have to worry about is if I look pretty enough.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, so you said is it's hard to get into
the industry and it takes some work, So like what
do you mean by that, Like what were some of
the things that you did to kind of get yourself
there first?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
And foremost that being in the porn industry is a job,
so you're not always going to do scenarios that you
are necessarily comfortable or familiar with. And I think that
one thing that sets a performer apart from someone who
maybe won't last is your willingness to try those different things.
(15:46):
I feel like, okay, yeah, and I feel like if
I would to put myself in a box and then
like for me personally, that now some girls could stay
in a box and they can be like, no, this
is what I'm going to do, and the studios are
okay with that, but other girls need to be able
to do what needs to be done to maintain work
(16:06):
until you're able to establish yourself and then you're able
to maybe like, hey, this is what I this is
the kind of scene that I would like to do,
you know. But initially the scenes that you're going to
do are the scenes that the fans want to see.
It's not going to be like you don't get to
just come in and hey, this is gonna be my
showcase that I'm going to do. Take some time.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
You got to prove yourself.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah, you have to prove yourself before you get to
call the shots, so like doing like the trans orgies
are doing the translastist orgies. These are like initiation things
for me. I feel like, I'm not going to lie
to you. I feel like these are like initiation moments
for me that I rose to the occasion, and each
time that I rose to the occasion, I was able
to be granted another opportunity to advance myself with my career.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah gotcha. Yeah. So it's like it's not like you
get to come in and all of a sudden you
necessarily get like this the dream scene where you're the
star and you're or the center of attention. Sometimes you
got to prove yourself and a large group of people
and you know, I mean I know that this and
obviously totally different case, but I know, like when with
(17:10):
male performers when they come into the industry, you know,
sometimes they have this like preconceived notion that their first
scene is going to be, you know, with the top
born star and it's going to be and it's like, no,
you're gonna be thrown in a blow bank like see
if you can handle you know what I mean, and
then like you'll move up that r Yeah, that's like.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
That sounds like a lot. Oh yeah, it seems like
a dream. But I feel like for a guy to
go into that with unless he's already done something like that,
to have the different guys there performing as well, and
then to also have like the cameras and like the heat.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
And every could be like but like straight male CIS
performers that haven't proven themselves are a fucking dime a dozen. Yeah,
Like how there's so many dudes that like think they
can do porn right, you know, they just think it's
like just bang and chick. Yeah, And like I get
those dms all the time, like, oh I look to
have sex, I can be important. Start it's like oh really,
(18:06):
you know what I mean? And like so they they
don't stop and go all yeah, yeah, so they they
got to prove themselves. They don't really get to like
just Waltzon and like get like, you know, paired with
fucking Angela White or something. Yeah, it's not how it
works exactly. Absolutely. Hey there, Holly Randall here, Queen of
(18:26):
adult Entertainment and director extraordinaire. You know, I've overseen quite
a few cumshots in my day, And are you feeling
more like a birthday candle than July fourth, introducing our
own secret weapon on set, load Boost, whipped up by
the brainyacs at VB Health. VB Health is here to
(18:46):
make your load more impressive and more delicious. Why do
you think all my stars look like they could put
out a small forest fire with their final moments on camera?
Load boost is the secret sauce. This isn't just about volume, though,
It's got the taste righte and keeps those little swimmers
fit as a fiddle too. So are you ready to
show the bedroom whose boss? Want to make your partner
(19:09):
beg for an encore? Load boost is here to give
you that show stopping finish that you have been dreaming
about and your partner too. So stop fizzing out and
see what the fuss is all about. Visit loadboost dot
com and use code Holly for a smooth ten percent off,
or simply click the link in the episode description. You
can thank me later, darling, and so can your partner.
(19:32):
We all know Adam and Eve is the one stop
shop for everything sexy, and now with my code Holly,
you can get any one item for fifty percent off,
plus ten free gifts and you'll even get free shipping.
So spice up your sex life at Adam and Eve
dot com, but only if you use code Holly so Leilani,
(19:58):
you mentioned that your career has been a t transition
from survival sex work to building a brand through legal
sex work. Now that you're on the other side, what
would you tell your younger self.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I would tell my younger self to take yourself seriously honestly.
When I was in my survival sex work era, I
feel like there are always opportunities there for me. But
I think that I sold myself short and I didn't
believe myself the way that I should have, and it
took me a lot of trial and error and a
(20:30):
lot of making a lot of mistakes for me to
learn how to navigate this space. So I would tell
my younger self to build yourself up right now, like
everyone has to start from somewhere. It takes like two
to five years to build a brand, and if you
start today, you can be someone very very soon because
(20:50):
you have it in you.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What would you say to a young trans woman who's
considering getting into the adult industry in just in general?
Do you have many pieces of advice for them?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
The first thing that I would say is to weigh
out your options. There's a lot of opportunities in the
world today, and you do not have to rely on
our dive right into sex work. So if there's other
opportunities for you and you have other talents, then I
would suggest exploring that because we have such a what
(21:22):
is the word.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I mean, stigma, scarlet letter.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Scarlet letter, stigmas. It's saturated. There's just so much. So
weigh out your options as a young trans woman before
you decide to become a sex worker.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
How old were you when you decided to get into
the industry.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Eighteen?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, so some people do believe that, like eighteen is
too young. How do you feel about that.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
I didn't have a choice. I didn't really have a
lot of options, and I didn't have a lot of resources.
And I come from Las Vegas, and so I always
knew about sex work, and I weighed out my options,
and I had a job and I lived with someone,
but at the time, it wasn't sufficient and it really
(22:09):
didn't make sense, and so I started off with Escorty.
Can we talk about that, of course? Okay? Yeah, yeah,
because some people do not want to talk.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Okay, So we talk about all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Okay, So I started off as scorty.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Because it's like nothing to be ashamed about. It's I
love it, and I think that it's so important to
like relay that message like sex work is work, and
like full service sex work is I think, like a
very legitimate and valid form of sex work and a
form of therapy.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
And yeah, so I started transitioning around the same time.
When I started sex work, I didn't really have a
lot of options. I didn't have a lot of resources,
so I would like, you know, like post on different
websites and things to that nature, saved my money, invested
(22:55):
a little bit into myself, ended up meeting a boyfriend
and I stayed with him for a long long time
and then we broke up. Then I had to like
upgrade my sex work life. Yeah, but initially, like getting
into sex work, I had no choice. I really didn't
know what I was going to do, and I needed
to survive like that night, like literally needed to find
(23:18):
somewhere to sleep because I didn't really have like an option,
and so like I posted my first experience, I think
is why I kind of got into it. Like they
say that the quick money could really suck you in,
so I posted like an ad. I won't I won't
mention the websites not even around anymore. Yeah, but I
posted an ad on a website and I was able
(23:38):
to meet a guy in Miami who sent in my
drum eighteen. So he sent me and my friends, or
he sent me my friends were with me. He sent
me like some money because I told my situation. He
sent me money and I was like so shocked by
how much money he sent me that me and my
friends went out to eat. I was really young, so
I didn't it's so fully now that I think about it,
(24:01):
like we're like literally homeless and some random guy sends
me money to like be okay, and we went to
the palm spuffe. It was so money, so and I
paid for them because I'm like a generous person. I
wanted to have a good time. I was like, you
have money, we've been struggling, let's go to the palm spuffe.
So we did that and I was like, oh shit,
(24:22):
I didn't anticipate it being so much. He only sent
so much. Now we don't have anything. And then I
hit him up again. I was like, Daddy, Steve, this
is so long ago that doesn't matter. But I was like, Daddy, Steve.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Did I tell him that you spent it?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I just hid the palm stuffe I. I was very manipulus.
So one of the things about me in the beginning
of my sex work journey was my I was kind
of manipulative. Now that I've grown and I've gotten older,
it's better for it to be an even exchange if
you really want to build something or take something out
of it. Playing games with people's time. Playing games with people,
(24:58):
you usually don't keep any of the things that you accumulate.
But when you start to do things from a genuine perspective,
that's when you can start building. Like with like with
any other industry, you don't you don't play games with
sex work or it's gonna play games with you. So
I did not tell him what I did, but I
told him that I needed more, and he sent me
(25:19):
more and we got a hotel room for a couple
of days. And then I guess I was like kind
of hooked. So I never had the opportunity to even
weigh out if there was other opportunities for me. I
kind of just got into sex work. Yeah, And then
because I was young, I was eighteen. Of course, mentally,
it fucked with me a lot, and so that's when
I like retreat it back to my family, which I left.
My family, we don't always see eye to eye. So
(25:42):
I think it was like a cultural shock to go
from being a sex worker to like being with my family.
And my family's really tough on me. They want me
to figure it out on my own. They'll they'll, they'll
provide me with some support, but they want me to
figure things out on my own. And I just kept
like struggling between like the struggle that I'm dealing with
and knowing that I just go back into sex work.
And so I did go back into sex work. And
(26:03):
when I went back into sex work, I told myself,
this time, I'm going to take it seriously, and so
I did. And I haven't had a real job.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
A real job in a decade.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Well, you know that's what people always say, like when
it comes to sex work, get a real job. Like
there's a lot of stuff that goes into sex work,
Like you have to produce, you have to distribute, you
have the market, you have to you don't always have
money to like get your hair done and do your makeup,
so there's a lot of investing in time that goes
into sex work. It's not just propping up a camera
(26:36):
and I'm hot, I'm going to stroke it, I'm gonna
come and you're gonna love me.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I mean, it's that. But as you build yourself up,
it's like you have to make from you. Yeah, you
have to present yourself in a way that people want
to see that.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Well, yeah, there's a lot of girls doing the same
thing you're doing on a very high quality level. So
if you want to be considered, then you need to
make sure that you're doing it the exact same way.
Are better?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, how is scorting overall for you? Like, did you
enjoy it? Was it ever scary?
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Like, it's always scary. I've been doing it. I don't
do it now, but I had been doing it for
a long time. It doesn't matter how long I've been
doing it or how many instances that I've had. It's
always going to be scary unless you know the person.
And even when you know the person, it's still really
scary because you just never know. I think that men
when it comes to you know, Holly, like when men
(27:28):
are horny and they're one way, they're one way, but
then when that's over with, they can be another way.
And it's just like it can be a lot.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
You ever had like unexpected situation surprises? Yes, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah, I am so numb to it because I had
done it for so long, and when I would work,
I would like literally like it's like going into like Narnia.
It's like you clock in mentally and then when you're done,
you clock back, clock back into reality. So I have
(28:04):
had experiences, but I can't even like really remember them.
So it's like, was there any really experiences. I only
remember the good things, not really. I do remember one
specific I actually do remember one specific time. It's a
really crazy time. So in my beginning days, I connected
with a gentleman who wanted to be fisted. And this
(28:25):
is a long, long time ago, in the beginning of
my days, and I didn't know what I was doing,
and so I kind of like threw my friend in
the mix. I was like, Hey, this guy wants to
be like fisted at a park. Would you be willing
to do it? It was just spettish. He wanted to
be fisted at a public location. Oh my gosh, I know.
(28:46):
He went to the public fisting. I already knew that
I wasn't going to do it, so I incorporated my
friend who said they would. And then my friend did
not want to do it either because it was just
like so much. He really wanted to like llo deep
that's a good word, because we thought it was going
to be just like a little moment, but he wanted
like elbow deep on the bench, and my friend didn't
(29:09):
want to do it, and so we were.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
What happens if like someone shows up.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
There was like nighttime, and I guess the guy was
really he had been doing this at this location, okay,
for so long that he was confident and we were
so young we should not have done that. Yeah, so
basically he had been doing it a lot, and mind you,
he knew that he could feel that we were not
in it. So we were like hesitant, and my friend
was hesitant to perform the act. So then the guy
(29:35):
hops up and was like, becket, you guys are going
to do it. I paid you guys. I'm leaving you
guys at the park, and we're like okay, So then
we're walking home or walking back because he's left us,
and sure enough, girl, he came to run us over.
He yes, he zoomed in on us and try to
run us over, and like we hopped, we jumped out
the way really fast, and then he like zoomed around again.
(29:58):
It's nighttime, so thank we had that going for us,
and so like we're like hiding in a bush and
he's like creeping down the street passing the bush. We're
just like shaking the cars like right there, and he's
like driving really slow looking for us because we didn't
fist him. So I think that that is one of
(30:19):
the worst experiences that I ever had. I remember his name,
I remember everything about It was so scary. And then
he emailed me later that night and told me that
I should be lucky that nothing happened, because that was
his intent when we played with him. And that's when
I realized that you just really shouldn't play with people's time,
(30:39):
our money and those types of situations.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, do you feel like, do you feel like if
you've given him his money back, like you wouldn't have
had that situation.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Well, there was no money to be given back because
the fist was fisted, it just wasn't elbow deep. And
when he could feel that we were getting hesitant, he
hopped up and said he's going to leave us. He
went into a fucking fit, right, and so then we're
like okay, it's like the middle of the night. We're
sitting there like our little piece of change we just got,
(31:08):
like whatever, girl, well yeah we'll go buy a weed.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Yeah. So we're skipping away like yay, we just got
our little chump change, and here he came whoom. We're like,
oh my god, and we like hop out the way
and then he's like coming back and he's like all
driving slow, and it's like here we are, here's the bush,
here we are, and here's this car, like I could
have reached out and touched it. And he's like driving
really slowly, wondering where we're at. Oh that was really crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Are there any ways like with your experience that you know,
anyone who's considering escorting could like, I don't know, do
it more safely or they're like, was it you?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
I am at a place in my career where I
require ID and I require a deposit. Not everyone's gonna
want to do that because a lot of men are like,
who are you for me to be sending you my information?
It's really not a realistic thing. And as a matter
of fact, I used to give girls that advice until
one day my friend was like, bitch, that's not realistic.
(32:06):
No one's going to send me a deposit and no
one's going to send me a picture of their ID.
And then I was like, you know, honestly, I guess
that is kind of true. I'm delusional when it comes
to this.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Because you don't really need that at this point, right, Like,
you don't need to escort.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
If I do escort, they have to send me the
centure of their ID in this yeah, because I won't
do I don't need to do it. So if I
do it, I need to build one hundred safe And
even when I have their ID and I have the deposit, girl,
I still feel scared until I'm back in my safe space,
you know. But one thing that you could do is
(32:39):
you can screen. There are different apps that you could
use that I don't want to put this the app
on I'm not going to. I can't say I'm not
going to say the app because I don't want the
men to have the app. But there is an app
that you can use, and it's a very old app.
I've used it my whole journey and it's a very
extensive database. If you put a number, if the man
(33:01):
is a problem, they're going to be reports. So there
are apps you can use to screen people. Do not
use screen or tech stap numbers. Do not accept tech
stap numbers, and also ask questions, get to know the person.
Set your rate at an amount that the normal person
(33:22):
can't just agree to you like I don't know, like
back in the day when I was doing sur Bible
sex work girl, it was like sixty dollars in one
to twenty and it was like bullshit. And then I
was like, you know what, I'm going to charge like
two hundred, and it stopped being so bad, but it
was still kind of shitty. And then I started charging
like five hundred, and then I was like, hey, this
is like a better type of a deal.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
I feel like you get like a different clientele.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Well, I feel like the rates at the time kind
of weed out people who are like bad. You know,
anyone can agree to anything, but I feel like you
just throw out a number that sounds kind of right
and not so low and they'll be like either yeah
or no, you know, and take it from there. I
hate when I hate when I'm like I want X
amount and they're like okay, because I'm like fuck.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, I know, and you have to do it. That's
what I learned to do, the ID thing.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, so yeah, if you want to
get into escorting and you want to be safe, make
sure you're screening the people. You're talking to them, looking
them up and not taking techtop numbers and things like that.
You want these people to be connected to you if
there was an issue, right, yeah, And if there's no issue,
there's no problem. But if there is an issue, if
(34:29):
there was an investigation that need to be had, then
you know the records there.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Yeah yeah, yeah, So back to mainstream porn. Yeah, what
are your favorite kinds of scenes to shoot?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
I love to do boy girl girl scenes, which is
basically a trans girl, an assist female and a guy.
I love those a lot. It's how I lost my
virginity before I got into the industry, and I feel
like I've had a lot of sexual experiences in my life,
but I think that I'm limited on the experiences with couples,
(35:02):
and I love them so much. As a matter of fact,
since I've gotten into the industry, I feel like I've
had like the most interactions with couples that I ever
had in my life. So if I had to like
do anything, I would want to do like that type
of a scene because you get to, like, you get
to have fun with like the female performer for the
(35:23):
guy's pleasure, which I that's what really turns me on
about it, and then when you're done doing that for him,
you get to watch him do it, and I just
turns me on a lot.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I left it a lot. Yeah, I can tell. Do
you have any particular scenes out there that you think
were really great ones that people should check out if
they want to see some of your work?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah, I think that if you wanted to see like
me as a versatile performer and see me like in
the like in my full regalia, I think that the
scene that I did with Evil Angel featuring me and
Tony Sting would be the best scene to look at.
It was a versatile scene. It's one of my early scenes,
(36:01):
and you can tell that the drive, the hunger and
the passion and just it was it was a lot. Yeah,
it was really hot. I actually watch it on my
spare time, so it's really hot.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
So you like to watch yourself.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
I depending on the project. Yes, yes, if I because
I'm very I mean very critical of myself, which we all,
I'm sure we are. I'm very critical of myself. So
there are some scenes that I don't like watching because
I just don't like the way that I look at all.
But that is one of the scenes that from the
top to the bottom, I'm like, oh my god. And
(36:37):
I watched the scene one time and I was like, bitch,
this is why you're where you No, seriously, yeah, I was,
because you know, when you are working and you're working
so closely with top girls, sometimes it can get skewed
like am I Am I good enough? Or have I
made the right alignments? But when I start watching my performances,
(36:58):
I'm like, girl, this is why you're where you're where
you're at. There's no one there, that's just you by yourself,
like carrying the scene. So yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Like to have like personal validation. Yeah, exactly, all that
hard work.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Well, I think that it's very important that we do
a lot of positive self affirmations and things like that
in an industry that nitpicks you and you're under a
scope you know, fan your fans, Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Know, Yeah, how do you deal with like trolls online
and negative feedback online because you know everyone in the
sex industry gets it.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
So I only recently start dealing with the trolls online
because up until recently I was very created with my
image and so I didn't really I didn't leave a
lot of room for criticism. But now that I put
myself out there more with hardcore work and getting on
podcasts and speaking more, I am susceptible to more criticism.
(37:57):
And the way I handle it is I just don't
handle it. I really, I really don't care. The things
that people say about me will never be worse than
what I've said about my own self. So you can
say whatever you want to say about me, because I've
already said it to myself.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Yeah that's true.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
And the best part about it is that I'm working
on it. So you can say that today, but the
next time you won't have the opportunity to say it.
So give me your criticism and I'm going to take it.
I'm going to eat it, and I'm going to correct
it if I feel like I need to, and if
I don't, I really don't care.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
How do you take care of your mental health? Just
in general? And maintain like a healthy work life balance.
Do you find that a challenge?
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yes, I smoke a lot of weed when I was
way younger. I had my journey with substances and I
had a really, really fun time. But I had a
lot of opportunities given to me when I was younger,
and I lost a lot of them, and I felt
like the contributing factor was my non sobriety. So I've
(39:05):
been sober for a long time, like maybe it's like
ten years, I will say, other than smoking weed, So
but I do smoke weed. I tend to listen to
a lot of music. And I am a very introverted person.
The way that I am online and the way that
I present myself online like this really sexual being and
(39:26):
I am that. But in my personal life, I'm just
like I'm just a girl. I'm just a trans girl. Stuffic,
but I'm just a trans girl with my dogs walking them,
listening to music and smoking a lot of weed and
just like trying to stay true to the things that
I've always liked. So I don't, like, you know, like
lose myself. But mental health in this industry could be
(39:49):
like a lot. So it's better that you surround yourself
with other people who have already been in this industry
to help you navigate, and also just try not to
forget who you are like money, fans, notoriety, attention. All
those things can make you lose yourself, but you have
to try to stay true to the core person of
(40:09):
who you are. And also don't forget why you come
into the industry. We don't come into the industry because
we want to be pretty and we want to get fucked.
We come into this industry because we want to get paid,
and a lot of the times we come into this
industry because we have no other options. So don't forget
that and don't lose yourself, and just always think about
what you're going to be doing after the industry, rather
(40:30):
it be contributing to the industry as a producer or
director or whatever it is that you want to do,
like going to be a nun. You know, some people
leave the industry and find religion. That's true. Yes, a
lot of people do.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
It's true. Do you have any plans, like an exit plan?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
This is my life. I've always been. I went from
being like an escort to being a performer, and I
think that as I learn more and continue to develop.
I would like to contribute to the trans genre with like,
you know, my perspective of our sex life, like being
a director, producer, something to that scope. That's the pipeline, right,
(41:10):
you go from performer to director. I met like a
lot of people who still perform and direct. Do you perform?
Speaker 2 (41:18):
No? No, no, okay, so you you strictly are just yeah,
I mean I have an only fan, so that was
that was an accident, fol story. But yeah, so I've
always been a photographer and director because.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
You come from you are a a sex work nepto baby.
I well, I did research on you months ago when
I was like.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Sex work neo baby. I've never heard that's I love that. Actually,
well I've heard anyone say that before, but the very true.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
But not the same scope. My mother actually was an escort,
like a second generation sex worker.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm a second generation pornographer.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So yeah, and yeah I saw that your mother was
Susan or sus Randall.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's her right behind you, that little
frame right there.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Yeah, I think it's very very cool. Yeah, contribute a
lot to the industry.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
So you are known for your big loads. What's your secret.
So my big secret for such loads are as soon
as that as soon as I'm booked for a shoot,
I become celibate, so I'm able to like hold off
and save up. And yeah, that's how it works.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
And the scenes that I had the biggest loads, and
I actually was not on my hormones at the time,
and so it really helped contribute the retention, the COUM retention. Yeah,
plus no hormones really helped. Oh and then also my
scene partners for these loads were really hot. But Lerica still,
(42:50):
I know, I did a really big load for our
scene and the scene with Tony Steing, the one that
I was telling you.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Right right, Yeah, So how many days can you not
take hormones? Because I don't really know how it works,
Like how like what's like okay where you don't like
have side effects.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
I feel like you're going to have side effects if
it's Yeah, I feel like you're going to have side
effects if you need to take your hormones and you
haven't taken them. But I think that like two weeks
to three weeks off of hormones would be sufficient enough
for you to be able to like produce like something, Now,
will it be like milky and you're going to be
(43:27):
able to reproduce. No, but will it be a big
enough load? It will be clear?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, So do you feel like that's a good like
for you? Is that? Does that feel like that works?
Taking like two weeks off to prepare for a scene?
Does that feel like that works for you? And that'll
give you good results?
Speaker 3 (43:45):
So at the time it works, but these days it's
not working. And so there's like supplements that you can take.
Like this guy came on me the other day with
so much and I was like, oh my god, that's
like a lot of comment. It was actually it was intimidating. Mmmm.
It was like a lot. It was like a little
bother something and I was like, wow, that's like not
normal and he was like, oh no, it's because I
(44:06):
take a supplement. And I was like, oh cool. So
he gave me the supplement on my list, so I'm
probably going to buy it.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Oh was it a load boost by VB Health And
if you use code Holly at load boost dot com
you can get a discount.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Yeah, it was that, and I appreciate you reminding me
about the code to use.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Oh my goodness, Well, funny enough because they sponsored this podcast,
and you heard it from Leilani that it is the
secret power. I was drenched and loads, drenched and loads.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
It was obvious he has took at a substance because
I was like, did you pop up the loan on me?
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Like?
Speaker 3 (44:42):
What is this?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
Get?
Speaker 3 (44:43):
This was so much.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
It was thanks to load boost and she was drenched
in it, and I was like, I'm going to do this.
Yes see, thank you VB Health. Yes, all right, load
boost dot com use code Holly, get your discount and
get your load up there. Yes, w rench your partner income.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
Is it zinc? What is it?
Speaker 2 (45:04):
That's zinc and a bunch of others.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Yeah, there's like this. Yeah, I think it's like zinc.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Yeah. I don't have my card, so I can't remember
exactly what it is, but it's it's a lot of stuff.
I think the ad might run during this, during this episode.
So I said it in the ad. Yeah, you said
it in the ad. Yes, we so we know.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
We reiterated its effects and usage.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Oh my gosh, what did it mean to you become
the first black trans woman to win two avins?
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Oh my god, it's the real. It's unbelievable. I feel
like it's just an honor. I love our community, I
love I love ab I see I've come into the
industry when all of the stuff that is known, I'm
not aware of it. So everything that I hear is
by you know, word of mouth, not through experience. There
(45:57):
have been there have been some instances where like last year,
there was a lot of backlash that Avian received for
the lack of trans voices and also.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Not like presentation. Yes, like the trans None of the
trans awards were like stage accepting awards.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
So there was one and it was for the best transactress.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Yes that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
But the problem was is that Daisy had gotten sick,
so she was not able to come. But I feel
like if she had been there and she wouldn't have
gotten sick and she was able to be on stage,
the narrati wouldn't have been able to have that narrative.
I do believe that there were other genres that were
like dB W correct YEA. Now now, there were other
(46:47):
genres that were that were underrepresented, perhaps the trans genre.
There were trans there was I'm obry Kate presented. I
got to be one of the first black trans women too,
went into a ward that night, and Daisy, had she
been there, would have had the opportunity to go up there.
So I honestly I might get some backlash for saying this,
(47:10):
but I do feel like there were a lot of
misconceptions with last year's aban show, and me winning an
award is not the most important thing, but the drama
in the backlash because of the perceived situation took away
from the.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Win for me personally, I understand.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
Yeah, And but I will say this regardless if it
was called for, not called for, Avian heard us and
this year, oh lord it was. It was so inclusive,
right yeah, and Tony and Avian and the show and
(47:55):
everyone really made sure that the trans women were unrestected,
represented and treated. I mean, we have KNU complaints this year.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I mean, I think it's like really important because you
know that when a company is you know, criticized for
something and they hear it, yes, and they take moves
to correct it, because like every single company brand is
going to take some kind of misstep there, Like it's
just inevitable, right, Like we're not perfect. And what the
(48:27):
important thing is that I think is that they they
hear it and they make moves to correct that. I
think that that's what matters to people, and I think
especially for Avian, it's not just like what we see
there in the audience, but Avian is also distributed on
showtime to a much larger audience, So then like the
representation is also like manifested there too, and that's also
(48:50):
really important.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
Yes, it is, So I think that that's that's really
It is definitely important for the companies and the industry
that uses that to uplift us because it does translate
into the real world and with everything that's going on
these days within with the trans community, I think it's
(49:11):
really as important that our allies and the people that
we align ourselves with do handle us in a way
that sets the tone in a positive light for the
way society treats us as well.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, what I would love to see and something that
expis did not last year but the year before is
have a trans woman host.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
Yeah was the first.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Emma was the first.
Speaker 3 (49:38):
I didn't get to go. Expist didn't nominate me that
year and I was only like so into my career
and I think porn Hub was the next week, or
maybe a b Aben was the next, and I had
to do at Aben. So I didn't get to go
to exbis when Emma, but I sent my support. I
love Emma. I sent my support because it was like
a really really big deal. Yeah, I feel like, like
(49:59):
I was telling you early, I feel like I've come
into this industry around the time where things are changing,
not only just for black trans women, but for trans
women period. I've heard a lot. I've heard a lot
of different things and a lot of different stories, and
I'm just glad that I'm here now and didn't have
to be there then, because like the girls like Foxy
and a Toassia Dreams, the girls that had to endure
(50:21):
those times and to be able to like push through
and make a market in this industry, it really took
a lot of courage and like a lot you know,
now it's not easy, but it's way easier than it was.
And then the industry treats us so nicely right now.
I guess back in the day they didn't.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
Yeah, yeah, no, all times are changing, so it's it's
good to see the progress for sure. Well, Leilani, thank
you so much for coming on.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
Such a wonderful time with you. By the way, just
one last thing, so for the XM A pre party
is where I first saw you. Oh, but Ariel, I
was with Ariel and then you guys are doing a
long interview, so I didn't get to interview with you.
And then I saw you again for ABN, but you're
also doing a really long interview, so I never really
had the chance to introduce myself to you. So I'm
(51:10):
really happy that, Yeah, your reality, you.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Get more than like I don't know, like five three
minutes with me. Yeah, we get to sit down and talk.
Speaker 3 (51:19):
I mean, you're always in your zone, you got your
camera going, and you're always so busy, so well, and.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
Those things are it's hard to like the red carpet
interviews are like they're fun, but they're also super stressful
because there's so many people, and like I always get
yelled at for holding up the red carpet because like
people stop because they want to talk to me, and
like there's such a like they're trying to keep a
flow going. So the security guards and everybody who runs
(51:45):
the Red carpet is literally constantly yelling at me and
yelling at my team. So my cameraman I'll like be
talking to someone for like literally forty five seconds and
he'll be like wrap it up, and I'm like, I'm like,
but I we just got started. I like barely get.
I don't get to like ask them anything ob sustance.
I feel like I don't get and so I'm like
constantly like.
Speaker 3 (52:04):
Is that why you always do the end now? Because
I feel like you're always at the end of it
when I see you, You're always the last one.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
I don't know. I think it's just like the way
that it's It's just like that's just how it's been. Yeah,
I don't know, that's just where.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
I end up. Yeah. Well, now that I've met you
and we've met I feel like the next time I
see you on the red carpet, it'll be easier to.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Say hi to you. Yes. Absolutely, Thank you so.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Much, Holly for having me. I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
Of course, can you let everybody know where they can
find you online? Please?
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I am on Twitter as Leilani Underscore Lee, and I'm
also on Instagram as I am Leilani Lee. And you
can also find me on OnlyFans as OnlyFans dot Com
slash Leilani Underscore Lee. You can always just google my
name and everything will pop up. It's so much easier.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
Yes, and you guys can find me on all my
platforms at hollylinks dot com, on Instagram, and on x
at Holly Randall. And of course, if you want to
support this podcast and watch these interviews streamed live and
get access to all kinds of bonus content, go to
Patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered, go to xuee
(53:12):
dot io to sign up for the next revolutionary adult
creator platform, and also go to Excessive mag for my
new online magazine. That's x siv mag dot com. Thank
you guys so much for joining us and I will
see you next week
Popular Podcasts
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com