Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, did you know that you can actually find me
naked online? Yes, I'm a photographer, director, podcaster, and in
my secret life, I actually have a platform with all
of the spicy content that you didn't think I made.
I know it surprised me too. If you're curious about
what happens when I'm in front of the camera instead
(00:21):
of behind it, head to my OnlyFans OnlyFans dot com
slash Holly Randall. It's raw, it's sexy, and it's totally uncensored.
That's OnlyFans dot com slash Holly Randal. But don't say
I didn't warn you.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. My guest
today grew up as a preacher's kid and now is
a rising star in the industry. In the last few years,
she's dealt with a rare and serious health issue which
she has faced head on with an amazing perspective and
outlook on life. And I am so excited to talk
to her about all of these things and so much more.
(01:23):
Let's welcome the beautiful Scarlet Alexis. Hello, Hi, I'm so
happy to be here. I'm so happy that you are
here as well, and I'm so excited that I get
to stare at your beautiful boobs.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I wear this stress just for you.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Oh my god, I thought I'm actually going to pay
attention to my guest today, or maybe not. I will
be listening to anything that you said. We were talking
earlier before you came on, Like I was saying to her,
how does it feel to be one of God's favorites
and just like have perfect boobs? But the thing about
Scarlet is that she has like goods as far as
(01:59):
I'm concerned, great size. They're not huge, and not that
there's anything wrong with huge boobs, They're fantastic. But as
a woman, I can empathize with the fact that girls
with really big boobs have a hard time finding clothes
to wear. Yeah, Like they're very limited in what they
can wear. And I feel like you kind of get
the best of both worlds.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Thank you. I do feel very grateful.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, I mean, are there clothes that you like can't
wear because you have Like.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I would say, the only annoying thing about my tits
being natural is in bikinis like micro bikinis, I get
the spillage. And when I wear pasties at like festivals,
they usually like they slide off, they come off, whereas
I feel like fake tits are they're more solid, so
you know, there's less like spillage and you know things
like that.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, I know that's true. There's definitely some outfits that
were like made for fake boobs because they're almost like
a bra in themselves exactly that they hold them up
and then like yeah, natural boobs they just kind of
out of and sometimes not in a flattering way exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah. Also, like in Missionary, I try to, you know,
kind of put my armskirs. It was just like you know, flat.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Like yes, well, when did you get to my age?
The kid you could throw them over? Okay, So Scarlett,
I also remember that you were one of the last
scenes that I shot before I stopped directing.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
That was such an iconic day for me. I got
to work with Scherie Deville and Luna Star and that
was just I was like in heaven. Yeah, and I
still remember that squirting bit like that was insane, like
we're gonna just squore it. I was impressed that it
seemed like it came from the sky, like it just
the whole room, on the whole crew, all the cameras
(03:51):
and everything. It was unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah. I really did not expected to go as far
as it did. Yeah, and I've seen a lot. And
the great thing was is that Steve, our cameraman, is
such a seasoned cameraman that it hit him and didn't
phase an at all. In fact, he was like excited, Yeah,
I'm getting a great shot. So excited, so when you
(04:14):
know you have a great cameraman, rather than like reacting
to it being like oh gross, yeah, like you know,
let me take it. This is such a great shot.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
And then afterwards he was.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
We all were amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I was not. I was gonna get me, but yeah,
that was great. I was actually just going through a
bunch of my old drives and I remember that I
shot black and white film that day, like BTS. Yeah yeah,
and I came across it and I had forgotten that
I had it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So yeah, I remember I think my first day, like
three years ago, when I ran into you there you
were showing me the photos. Yeah, that was so cool.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Okay, so well, let's talk about the beginning and how
you got into this industry and actually your life before
because you know, interestingly enough, you grew up as a
preacher's kid.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I did, so, how was that? It was very unusual?
I would say had a very unusual childhood. My parents
they're preachers, they're they're I say this, they're kind of zealous.
I guess it's almost like mystical Christianity a little like
(05:32):
kind of televangelism a little bit and like Pentecostal. Okay,
so like speaking in tongues and all like miracles. The
snake thing, the snake thing. Yeah, what's the snake thing?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
The snake? You know, they like have snakes and then
like if they handle them and then they don't.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I probably would have liked that. Actually, No, I think
they they think if snakes as like demonic creatures. But
I tell I used to have a snake, and I'm like,
but God made them, so they're isn't really like a
demonic animal in my mind?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Well, technically didn't God make Lucifer two and he was
an angel and he like fll from Grace exactly. Yeah
that's a good point. That's a good point.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Yeah, so unusual childhood. I traveled a lot. I was
homeschooled because my parents wanted to shield me from the world.
And yeah, just I really gave it a shot, like
because I was raised in it, like I was Christian.
I was on like the worship team and everything that
was like the team, yeah, the like the band in
(06:32):
the beginning of church and okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Okay, yeah. So I was like at the team, like
you have like a contest, like you can worship like
the most okay, but this is like a singing.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah church band. Yeah, I gave it a real shot.
And then in my teens, I just I always had
a lot of questions. I was always a very curious person,
and my questions were never really met with answers. I
was like happy with I guess, and also just asking
too many questions is kind of looked down upon too.
(07:06):
So I finally realized that I didn't go the atheist route,
which most people who have religious trauma they end up
going that route. I'd seen enough and experienced enough that
I feel like, you know, there's a spirit world, there's
things out there, but I just know for me, it's
not Christianity, and there's actually a stoic philosopher. I want
to say it's Seneca. I forget the exact quote, but
(07:27):
he basically says, like every religion has its own merit
in its own way, because every man has to get
to Heaven in their own way. And I really liked
that point of view. So yeah, I think, you know,
if you can find any way to connect with a
divine I think that's a beautiful thing. But Christianity just
wasn't for me.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
What about Christianity didn't work for you?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I feel like in the Bible there's a lot of shame,
or just more so the religion as a whole. I
think maybe Jesus's message of love, I think, like that's
really good, but you go like Old Testament versus New Testament,
and there's just like a lot of and in religion,
just like self hatred and shame of just like you
have to be like I'm just like a horrible like
(08:11):
you know, scum of the earth, like piece of shit,
and I need Jesus to like forgive my sins and like,
you know, get into heaven where I think I think
we're all. I think in a way, we're all I
don't want to say gods, but in a way like
I feel like we're connected to everything in the universe
and whatever the spark that everything is made out of,
(08:33):
I think we all have that inside of us. So
I think unlocking shame is a really important thing to do.
And I think there's just so much shame in our
culture so that I wasn't down with. And then also
just the timeline of things. There's so many questions of like, Okay,
how did everyone who was born before Jesus was alive?
Do they all go to hell? Because like how does
(08:54):
that work? You know? So there's just always so many,
so many questions. And then all so I think I'm
just like a little bit more open minded where I
don't believe there's only one way to get into heaven. Yeah,
And I guess that's the main thing that made me
realize I'm not Christian.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So I was raised atheist, okay one percent. Yeah, And
I could never understand the idea that you're just like
you start off as a bad person exactly, Like that's
so bizarre to me. Yeah, and then you have to
spend the rest of your life making up for the
sins of somebody else. That automatically translates to you, right
(09:33):
it's really confusing, it's very weird. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
And then even some of the things that are considered
a sin in the Old Testament, it's like, you know,
wearing clothes that aren't like one hundred percent cotton, or
like having like mixed fabrics and things like that, and
I'm just like it makes it really impossible to be perfect.
And I think when I was Christian, I felt like
I always felt like I wasn't good enough. I'm always
(09:56):
striving for this thing that's unattainable, and just like so
much guilt. And I think that that's really harmful to
us as a species and a psychology to think of
ourselves in such a negative way.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, I mean, there seems to be so many strange,
mixed messages in the Bible. Yeah, And for me, I
see a lot of like just this opportunity for to
control people, yeah, to have power. But then I also
see like these messages of like love and like forgiveness,
and I feel like you could take you could take
(10:33):
certain things out of it and you know, like live
your life by that. But then overall the church doesn't
want you to. They want you to go a very
specific way. But I guess that's why there's so many
different factions of the church.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, there's different kinds, and then there's like Catholicism, which
is entirely different too. Yeah, so there's different like streams,
I guess, yeah, but yeah, it was just like it
just it's not for me, and it was hard for
my family to come to terms with that. I have
two other siblings. None of us really ended up following
in their steps of the faith. But yeah, yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So it's funny. I went to my nephew's birthday party
the other day and my husband didn't go because he
wasn't feeling well, and so my mother in law cornered me.
And she's very Catholic and she was like, you're you're
you're not in the church, right, and like, no, no,
I'm not. And my husband is also like he was
raised Catholic, he was an altar boy, but he is
like none of those things anymore. He's like doesn't follow
(11:35):
the church, very like anti religious. And so she's like,
so you're not like taking your daughter to the church.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I'm like no.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
She's like, so you're not like teaching her the Bible.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
I'm like no, And.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
She was just like giving me like kind of a
lot of shit, and like she's like, okay, so you're
not teaching her about Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
I'm like, this is all crue.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I mean, I you know, like I actually love her
and I we get along really well because there's nothing
that she says that ever affects me. Like I'm very
good at like stuff just rolling off my back. So
it but it was funny because she was definitely like
disappointed that I wasn't, like, you know, taking my daughter
(12:24):
to church and she wasn't baptized and all that kind off.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, yeah, it's tricky. It's weird to me how some
religious people they'll be like, oh, if it wasn't for
Jesus or this, like I'd be a horrible person. Like
and I'm like why, Like that's concerning to me. Like
some people they can't understand having any kind of moral
compass without having religion.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
So what are your beliefs now? You said that you
it sounds like you still believe in heaven.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I don't believe in like heaven per se. I feel
like it's one of those things like we don't really
know exactly what's out there, but I do I feel
like I believe that there's like different dimensions to reality,
and I'm really fascinated by consciousness, so I feel like,
you know, I've experienced like altered states of consciousness in
different ways, and like this past year, I got into
(13:10):
breath work and that was really interesting to be like,
oh wow, I feel like I'm on like shrooms or something,
and you know, totally sober and then you know, like
dreams and I don't want to sound like schizophrenic. I
feel like I've experienced things where it almost feels like
I'm seeing like visions or feeling like premonitions and things
like that. So I believe that there's I'm like kind
(13:32):
of interested in panpsychism, which is basically the belief that
like reality is a result of consciousness. I think that
like everything is connected and that we like different individuals,
like this whole world basically it's we're all like facets
of a whole and we're split into different people in
(13:56):
different places so that the universe can experience itself. Is
kind of like what I believe.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That makes sense, not really so, but I'm so curious
to know like what that means. Okay, so pan consciousness,
So can you elaborate on that? A little bit more.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I believe that like our like the whole earth, the
whole universe, and everything all of us people, I believe
in like like a spirit in a soul, I guess.
I So, I guess what I'm saying is I believe
that everything that exists, like nature us, we all have
like that spark in us that is consciousness, I guess.
(14:36):
And I believe that like before this all existed there
it was all one, I guess. And in order for
consciousness to experience itself, like for instance, you look at
a lake and I was in Europe recently, and I
was looking at how beautiful the lake was, and I
was thinking about how like the water doesn't get to
like see itself like what I'm seeing because it's just water.
(14:59):
So it's that makes sense. So it's like an order
for and then we have water inside of our bodies.
So in order for like, in order for the water
to experience itself, it would have to be separated from
itself to look at it.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Okay, So like the water like experiences itself like through you,
because we're all connected exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
So then and then we're experiencing the world. And I
believe we're all like part of the world. It's like,
I mean, you know, I look at the sun. You
know it's from struggling, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I kind of I kind of I get it because
actually I believe that we are all connected as well,
like almost everybody knows. I'm sober, and you know, I
went through the twelve step program and one of like
the big parts of that is like finding a higher power, right,
which was a huge struggle for me because, like I said,
I was raised atheist, So you know, even the word
(16:00):
God was very troublesome for me because that, for me,
was connected to religion, which I felt was a way
to control and manipulate people. And I really hated that word.
So that was really hard for me. And of course,
you know, the idea in alcoholics anonymous is that it
doesn't like that's just a word, like it just can
be like what some whatever understanding it is for you,
(16:24):
whatever makes sense for you. It's just the idea that
like the world is about more than just you and
not isolated, and you're not alone, and like you're not
like there's there's there's something else out there that is
like supporting you if you let that in, right, like
help let it help guide you for sure. Like you know,
we all know that, like when you put out certain energy,
(16:48):
it feeds back into you, right, like the law of attraction.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So for me, I believe that it's like the connectiveness
of the human experience, you know, because you see like them,
I mean, we all have we all know the horrible
things that people do to each other, right, we see
that in the news all the time. But what's incredible
is the amazing things that people do for each other
(17:12):
in times of crisis. You know, you see like these
hurricanes and these horrible natural disasters, and the way and
the things that people will do for complete strangers. And
that's like when you see the real humanity come out
in people, for sure. And that's when you see this
this connection that we have, right and even like things
that humans will do for like other animals. And so
(17:36):
for me, I believe that like God quote unquote shows
up in other people, right for sure, And everybody's a lesson,
even the terrible people that show up in your life. Totally,
everybody's a lesson. And I think if you look at
the world that way, then like everything that you go
through is like a blessing for sure.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
And I think it adds a lot more meaning to life. Yes,
and then you become less of a victim. It's less
like things are happening to me. Then it becomes more
of like, Okay, there's a lesson here, and until you
learn that lesson, like, life will just keep throwing things that. Yeah,
and you're like why does this keep happening me? And
it's like, Okay, it's waiting for you to figure out
(18:18):
what you're supposed to learn.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, yeah, that is like I agree with that so
much because that is I think we can probably if
we all like really sit down and like unpack our
problems and look at those things into accountability for what
we do, which mostly don't ever do you see that
that like the same problem. You know, people will be like,
(18:42):
oh god, why do I keep dating the same kind
of guy who cheats on me and treats me like shit?
Well keep letting that you keep picking that guy? Yeah,
why do you keep picking that guy?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
And then you find out that like there is some
void in you that you're trying to fill.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
There's something like yeah, or core belief about yourself. I
feel like that's a lot of times what it is,
and it's it can be hard to like release it,
like to be so honest with yourself and then of course,
like we lie to ourselves too, and I mean you
can get past that and be like okay, deep down,
like this is what I really think about myself, and
like that's why you know, I'm making these life choices.
(19:19):
I really like Carl Jung, like I like studying psychology,
and he has that great quote I'm trying to remember verbatim,
but he basically says, like until you make the unconscious conscious,
it'll rule your life and you'll call it fate.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so true. Yeah. Another thing
before before we move on to talk about porn. Wait,
it's like twenty minutes. Then philosophy, religious podcast. What did
I tune into?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
All right?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But what you said about everything like being connected and
you know, like the water experiencing itself like through you
reminded me of my dad and before he died, so
like I said, like I was raised atheist. My father
was like staunch atheist, right, very much a man of science,
(20:11):
but he believed in like the beauty of the universe, right,
And I remember because he had Parkinson's and he was
his health was degrading, so like he knew like the
end was coming. And I had a conversation with him
and I asked him if he was afraid of death,
and he told me that he wasn't, and he believed
(20:32):
that when we die, we just become part. We just
go back into the universe. Like He's like, our lives
are just a little blip on the timeline of eternity.
That's so true, and we're just this little speck in
the universe. And it almost like we almost like kind
of don't matter. And we go back into the universe,
and we go back into the Earth and the and
(20:54):
the sky and the stars. And he's like, and I
think that that's beautiful. That's so beautiful, which I love.
But I was, I don't wait, what do you mean
I'm a blip on the timeline of eternity. I'm like,
I want to be like a large part, like you
know what I mean? Like yeah, but I think about it.
And it was really great that he could be happy
(21:16):
with the idea that he was a small, tiny part
of this huge, you know, universe's whole workings of this
machine that we call, I don't know time life. And
he didn't need to be like the center stage of it.
(21:36):
He didn't need to be this big part of it.
He was just grateful that he got like that experience. Yeah,
whereas I like this great fear of death and I'm
just like I don't want to be in this sty
Do you ever want to die?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Make your mark? You want to be remembered?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I just don't want to die. Yeah, I just don't
want to. Like the idea of non existence is like
terrifying today.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Yeah, that is kind of scared. I feel like the
past year, I never like I kind of think I
might think that maybe reincarnation exists, and it's never something
that I had necessarily like fell alignment with before. But
for me, like I kind of like the idea of
like past lives and that like every lifetime you're I
(22:20):
think this is kind of has some hoo Hindu or
Buddhist kind of background to it, but like in your
life you get to be you're supposed to be like
the most yourself and you learn different lessons, right, And
I think like if you don't learn all of your lessons,
then maybe you reincarnate and then you try it again
and tried it again until like you reach a point
where you don't reincarnate anymore. And then I think kind
(22:41):
of like what your dad's saying, you just like become
part of the universe or just like consciousness whatever that is,
whatever plane of existence, because yeah, I think existence has
like many layers. Even what I love science too, and
what I love about science is like it shows just
how magical the world really is. I don't think that
science takes away from seeing the world as like an
(23:05):
incredibly magical place. If annything, it just shows like, oh,
there's so much we don't know. And then also just
like what is all of this?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Yeah, I mean evolution is a fucking crazy thing if
you think about it. Yeah, We've been playing this game
where we like I've been doing a guessing game with animals,
which with my daughter, and so she's been learning a
lot about like different animals, and we were teaching her
about animals that like can camouflage, right, and like see
creatures that can like change their color and stuff like that,
(23:34):
and that is like, if you think about that, that
is insane that this animal developed over time to learn
how to change its color.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
It's insane. That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, And that's you know, that is that is science.
And that is magical exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, No, I believe that one hundred percent. I've talked
with some friends recently about the idea of like some
people are like NPCs. They just feel like they like
don't have any thoughts. And I feel like maybe, and
I don't know if this is like a narcissistic point
of view, but I feel like, you know, there are
certain people who like ask deeper questions in life and
things like that and contemplate things, and then there's people
(24:16):
who kind of don't. And I feel like that might
be like an evolutionary thing of consciousness, Like maybe we
start out as NPCs and then like we have a
chance to like evolve in a way like consciously. But
that was just a thought.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
But also are NPCs like perhaps happier people because they
aren't plagued by those deep thoughts late at night where
they're just like what is non existence? What's the point
of life? They're just like, Wow, that was a really
good round of Jeopardy. I'm going to go to bed
and go to work tomorrow and then I'm gonna can't
looking forward to lunch, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Like, no, that's true.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Sometimes like a simpler life is like I mean, you know,
generally really intelligent people tend to be like very depressed.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
I think that's true. I do also think that like
the most beautiful things in life come with like you
can't experience to the depths that you experience pain is
to the depths that you experience beauty. Yeah, I really
do believe that. So I think to have a rich
life you kind of have to embrace the pain sometimes.
I'm a big advocator of that, of like not running
(25:20):
away from it. It's like love is a great example.
You know, there's so many people who are like too
scared to have feelings, you're to get involved with anyone
because they don't want to get hurt. And if you
live your life that way, you're going to miss out
on all of the most beautiful experiences.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
So I think also pain feels art too. There's no
like amazing artists that's made an impact on the world
who's just like, you know, super happy, go lucky, like
you know. So I think it's just part of being human,
and I think we should embrace like the full spectrum
of that and not like only highlight the good parts.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I agree, and like the low parts are what makes
the high parts so much better because you know the
difference is what makes them appreciate exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah. Yeah, And I think like every painful experience you're
like losing people things like that, depending on how painful
it is, just shows like how significant something was in
your life, right, you know. So I feel like a
perspective shift is like you kind of are lucky that
you even get to experience this pain.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Yeah, like how lucky you were to have loved that
person or things so much that you feel that grief
to lose them.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
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old were you, Scarlett when you realized that you wanted
to explore your sexuality?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
As far as what do you mean exactly?
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Like you did not grow up in a sexually open environment,
right right? So like when did you start to get
curious about sex?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I've always been very open minded sexually. So when I
was one of my more serious relationships before poorn if
this is the same guy I was with when I
started poor into he was like very open minded, So
I was, you know, exploring like group, you know, I
was doing anal things like that. And actually before him,
(28:04):
when I was nineteen is when I realized I was
by so all of my friends knew before me. I
feel like that's like a classic story. I you know,
there was just so much repression that it would come
out in ways where I just was sexualizing women all
the time, basically like a fuck point. My friends would
make fun of me and be like you're so gay,
and I thought it was a joke. I was like, yeah,
I'm so okay, and then I finally realized. I was like, wait,
(28:26):
I think maybe I am, And so I like came
out and like was exploring women from the age of
age of nineteen. My first kiss ever in kindergarten was
actually a girl. Yeah, mattv she I remember, We're at school,
and I was like, my mom, Daddy told me it's
not it's bad. A kiss on the lips, and then
she kissed me. You know.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
So weird is when I was growing up, I don't know,
probably under ten for sure, but like definitely older than six,
maybe eight, I used to like fantasize about women a lot,
and I thought that I liked women, and I was
really into that idea, and then I grew out of it,
and I'm totally not in I don't know, it's really strange.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
Yeah, I mean, I just feel like sexuality is such
a fluid. Yeah, you know, it's a spectrum, as I
like to say. So, yeah, that's funny how that happens.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yeah, I feel like I've always been turned on by
the female body.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I think it's beautiful obviously, like there's nothing that I
would rather photograph than the female body, and like, I
love looking at it.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
It just doesn't make you horny.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
But it doesn't make me horny. Like I love looking
at your boobs because esthetically they're gorgeous, but like my
panties are very dry.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Yeah, well, it sounds like you're straight right now. Who knows,
maybe it'll change again.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Who knows, you know, I'm probably menopauses around the corner
and I hear your hormones changed. I don't know, anything's possible.
So now you said that you've you happened upon porn,
So how did that happen?
Speaker 3 (29:58):
So I like I was like, I'm going to do
porn one day, never really crossed my mind. I was
working at an art gallery before and like teaching children
private piano lessons and I but I was kind of
the lifestyle with my boyfriend at the time, so swing lifestyle.
Yeah yeah, so more like hot wifing, even though I
wasn't a wife, but just like you know, yeah kind
(30:20):
of thing, not really parties, more like just like swapping,
yeah yeah, having people out for I guess. And so
through doing that, I met a guy who was in
the industry and this is in Arizona, and he was like, Oh,
have you ever thought of, like, you know, doing porn?
Like you seem like you'd be perfect for it, and
I and I thought about it, and I was like,
(30:41):
that actually would be like really cool experience. I want
to try it. And I did come to terms with fact, like, Okay,
if I do this, obviously it's going to alter the
course of my life and like just everything that comes
with it, you know. But I wanted to do it.
So I did it, and like I went into expecting
everyone to find out, you know, and of course they did.
But I loved it so much. It was really fun.
(31:03):
It was like a great experience. So I did like
five scenes with this one company in Arizona, and then
like three months later, I quit my gallery job and
I was community. I would travel to you know, La
in Vegas for about a year, and then after that year,
my ex and I broke up and then I moved
to La.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Oh okay, So now your first scene was ANAL?
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Is that it was anal? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Did you know at the time that that was a
very intense way to kick off your head?
Speaker 3 (31:33):
No idea?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
So your second scene was a DP.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
It was a DP. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Actually it's so funny.
Alex Mack was in that DP, and I'm like really
good friends now yeah, and it's just like hilarious to
think of the journey. But I wasn't super I was
watching amateur porn mostly. The only other porn star I
really was familiar with was Owen Gray. Okay, so I
didn't know anything about like how people have their porn
(31:58):
careers or safe thing for later. Yeah, and all I
had no idea. What they did is they asked me,
do you do anal, do you do dps? Do you
do this? And I just thought, yeah, I do those things,
So then I did it.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Of course that for you, who did you shoot? Who
did you shoot? Your first scene for.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
It was it was like casting couch, but the one
in Arizona.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
They had like a few different sites. I honestly don't
remember the names.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I'm going to assume you shop for FTV girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we've all been yeah, especially traumatize. Did they make you
stick something weird to be your vagina?
Speaker 3 (32:32):
I mean I had an okay experience. I just heard
a lot of horror stories. I did put an eggplant
yeah yeah. And then they had like the what is
it called, like the doctor's thing like a stethoscope or whatever,
proct to something.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Oh God, like, yeah, Ernie, what's the thing that you
used looking at a vagina.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
And a probe? I feel like it starts with the pede.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah, we should know. This happens to us when we
go to the gin of colleges.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
I know. And I actually I used one of these
in an adult time scene too, uh and it was
an anal scene and we were really they were really ambitious.
They wanted this was the beginning so speculative speculam. Yeah,
I did one where the beginning solo part. They wanted
me to use a speculum to open up my ass,
(33:22):
and then they wanted to put a tiny camera, you
like those doctor's cameras inside to like really but I
was like, I'm not that flexible because I'm in doggie
and I'm like with one hand and it's metal too,
and one of the I couldn't figure out where it was,
but there was like a court. Some part was like
rough course and so then I ended up like like
I bled a little bit and then I was thinkinning.
(33:44):
I was like, I can't like open my ass with
one hand and then like use my other hand to
reach this little camera. And so I was like, this
is beginna, But I tried. I'm always up to try.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Somebody experience, you know, give you old college try. So
do you I mean, do you now that you know
what you know? Do you like regret starting off with anal?
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Definitely? I would have done it differently. You know, I
would have made a big deal about it because I
see how it works with other people's careers. You know,
they're getting like awards and like all these things are
like my first this and I'm like I've been doing
it the whole time, but it's just not as but
it is what like it happened. So I'm like, well,
I'll embrace it. Like I do. Think it's kind of
(34:27):
like sick too, to be like I started with anal
day one. I think that's kind of cool, just like
logistically not.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
The best gear. I mean, Sasha Gray, her first scene
I think was an orgy.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I think that's really cool to be like, you know,
starting kicking doors down, starting strong. Yeah, I think that's
a cool way to do it. I just wish we
were awarded better.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah, market wise, you would have gotten done it differently. Yeah,
So when you started porn, what was the most surprising
thing for you, Like, what was the one thing that
you didn't expect.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I didn't really know what to expect, to be honest,
going into it. I guess I didn't expect it to
feel more like a movie set, like having a whole
crew and like a director.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
I love working with people where the doctors like they
really like take it seriously, you know, when they have like,
you know, a vision and they're like giving you a
cues and everything. You know, it's entertainment. It's another like
form of expression, and so it's a fun medium to
to like capture that in. And then it's nice to
(35:33):
know just like how testing is, you know, it's yeah,
how you know everyone is tested every two weeks. That's
a really great part of it too, Like you know,
I think most people don't know about that, and so
it's nice to know that this is like a safe,
controlled environment to do all of these things. So I
guess that's what I didn't expect.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
What is something about the adult industry that you would
like to change if you could.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I think people in Portne should be like people who
who really want to be important and really care about it.
I think, you know, a lot of people end up
in this industry for whatever reasons, Like we're all come
from so many different walks of life. But I think
it is something that just really does alter your life.
And and it's like with any job, it's more fun
(36:20):
when people are like who enjoy their job basically, So
I think that Aside from that, I feel like, yeah,
I mean, it seems like everything's changing with like OnlyFans
and things like that where studio work is, I guess
from what I'm hearing, like dying down and things like that,
So who knows like how that'll change. I think it
(36:43):
would be nice if the performers had, like I have
friends who are like shocked, like they don't realize that,
like we don't get like a percentage of like the
revenues that are residuals that our scenes make. I'm like,
that would be cool if if we got that. So
I guess that's it. I would hope would change, but
I don't feel like it will.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Yeah, I want to talk about your health journey because
you've really been through a lot over the years. You've
mentioned dealing with seizures and many strokes for years before
you knew what was going on. So what was your
road to your diagnosis?
Speaker 3 (37:17):
Like, yeah, so, yeah, I had seizure since I was
a teenager, and my parents never took me to the
doctor for it. And even when like I ended up
getting diagnosed, they just like wanted to pray it away
type of thing. So it wasn't until I was I
was about to turn twenty. Yeah, I had a really
(37:39):
bad seizure and I was living with my boyfriend at
the time. Was it a grandma's seizure? Yeah, So he
was freaked out. Was his first time seeing someone have
a season. He thought I was like possessed because all
of a sudden, like we're just cooking dinner and then
you know, I'm like my eyes wine is making these
weird noises and like flailiing on the floor. So he
was like, you have to get this checked out. Yeah yeah, yeah,
(38:00):
And it was so weird because when you're having a seizure,
you don't know you're having a seizure, like as far
as like you're like what's happening. So when I was
having that particular seizure, I felt like it's almost like
you're dreaming like I felt like I lived a whole
other life and I was a whole other person and
I was like in China and it was really weird.
(38:21):
And then I like yeah, like and then I came
back and only like, you know, a couple of minutes
past or whatever it was, and and then I was like,
why is he like crying? Like what's going on? Like what?
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Like?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
I was like, I feel like normal. He was like, no,
you have to get checked out. And for a week
after every time I've had a seizure, I feel really
A lot of people say that it almost feels like
some kind of spiritual experience too, Like my I don't
feel very tethered to my body. I always have like
insane dreams and just kind of feel like out of it.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Like are they full body seizures?
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Uh yeah, okay, yeah. So anyways, I finally go get
checked out. I get brains scans, egs, whatever, everything, and
I get diagnosed the day before my twentieth birthday and
they tell me I have Moya moya, which is a
rare brain disease. So basically one of the main arteries
in the left side of my brain is collapsed. So
in the scans, there's like a huge portion that just
(39:17):
like doesn't get blood flow. So because of that, all
these tiny blood vessels are trying to make up for
the lack of blood flow, but they're very like they're taxed,
like they're taking on too much, so they're at risk
of bursting and aneurysms and strokes and things like that.
So they were like, you have to get brain surgery.
And my parents they were trying to talk me out
(39:38):
of it because they were like, let's like, we'll just
pray for you. So I ended up waiting three months,
partially because I was also really scared to have my
head cut open. So I was like, Okay, I'll wait
three months, you can pray and everything. But it was
really serious. They're like, you know, at any at any point,
you could have like a potentially fatal stroke. Like it's
(39:58):
like really serious, need to get it. So I had
the surgery. I was at a really good facility in
Arizona Barrows, and it was scary. They're like you could
like potentially you could wake up and forget how to speak,
like just you know, so much can go wrong. So
I was terrified. But I did the surgery and it
went really well. It was successful. Now there's no known
(40:19):
cure for this disease, so all it does is mitigate
the I did a bypass surgery to help alleviate you know,
the pressure on the other blood vessels, but there's no
known cure, so it just helps the symptoms. So it
reduces my chance of like stroking out and seizing and
things like that. But it's also a progressive disease, so
I have to get like regular checkups every few years
(40:40):
and see if it progresses on the other side or
we know, whatever it is. So far, my last few checkups,
everything has been good. But I was really depressed after
my diagnosis and just the surgery was the most debilitating
experience to go through. So I was really depressed after
and it was kind of a horrible way to start twenties,
(41:00):
you know, just coming to terms with, Okay, now I
have this thing that's like lifelong that I have to
live with, you know. I felt like, oh, at any
point my brain could just like go against me and
like just poof, you know. Yeah, So it was really hard.
And then I have like flare ups sometimes where I
call it my bad brain days, where I'm like really
foggy or there's like a lag in like my processing
(41:23):
or I get really lightheaded, like I'm really sensitive to
the heat. And it's really scary for me when I
have those flare ups because I don't know if that
means I'm gonna like have an episode soon or like
a stroke or a seizure, or if it just passes
then everything's fine. So it can be really tricky. But
it also makes any surgery where I have to be
(41:44):
under anesthesia becomes a high risk. So like with my too,
I feel like I'm jumping around. But when I had
my tumor removal surgery for my breasts, that's usually like
a very like low risk surgery, but I have to
get my how to get my brain checked out to
make sure like it was okay to handle the anesthesia,
because if my blood pressure drops a certain number, then
(42:05):
I'll just have a stroke, like while I'm.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Under So you found tumors in your breast.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yeah, so the surgery was I'm twenty six now, so
the brain surgery was six years ago. I was twenty
and then has it been two years now? I think
it's like a year and a half or two years.
I could feel them like I always had masses in
my breasts, but I never got them checked out. I
kind of just like brushed it off. But one of
(42:30):
them was starting to get really big, to the point
where it was protruding, like you could see a shadow,
and people at even like my porn was like people
would even make comments about it sometimes. So it was
growing really fast, and my friends urged me to get
it checked out, so I finally did. Turns out I
have a rare tumor condition, and rare like most people
(42:52):
who have this specific tumor condition are in their thirties
or forties and it's already so the fact that I
have it at my age makes it even more rare,
and I forget what it's called. But this kind of
tumor doesn't respond to chemo or radiation, so basically you
have to just catch it early because if ever it turns,
then I think I would have like five years to live,
is what they say. So I was, yeah, I was.
(43:16):
It was really hard on me mentally because I was like,
can I just go four years without something crazy happening.
That's why I have so much anxiety about like going
to the doctor and things like that, which sucks because
I have to maintain these things. But I'm just I
it's like there's so like, ah, I'm like, I don't
know if I can handle another like big life altering
(43:38):
thing right now.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
So but I got it handled. They said, I have
a lot of cysts that are benign that are totally fine,
and then three of them were this kind of tumor.
So that's why my boobs look so perky. Actually is
because they're filled with math. The benigh and cysts are fine,
but like that's what, Yeah, that's why we look the
way they do. Oh my god. But I'm glad that
(44:01):
when they removed the tumors. I was so scared that
I would have like Franken tits. Yeah, I was like,
oh god, like my career is on the line. Yeah
yeah yeah, but or that they would be like just
like really flat or just weird looking. But they turned
out fine, Thank god, my god.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yeah, so I had those removed, and yeah, that has
been my medical journey.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
How did you handle that? Like mentally, like, how did you?
Speaker 3 (44:24):
It was a lot. I think after it took me
a while to after the brain thing, to really like
be okay and come to terms with everything. But the
way that I like the way that I see it,
just it really encourages me to live life to the fullest.
Because after I got out of like my whole depressive year,
I was like, okay, like life is short. I think
(44:46):
I think it's really healthy for people to think about
death because like it makes you appreciate life so much
more and have so much gratitude. So I really see
life through that lens of like I'm so happy to
be here, I'm so grateful for every experience that I have,
And then it really pushes me to like to go
after my dreams or like anything I want to do
in life. It helps me to not like be too complacent,
(45:08):
like you know, just try and just do it and
like have all the experiences, you know, take the trips
and make the memories of your friends type of thing.
So I think that's my silver lining.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
So, speaking of experiences, what are your big goals for
your career? Anything in particular that like you really want
to hit.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
I've had so much fun, I've done so many different
kinds of things already. I don't know when, but I
would love to do a showcase. I see that happening
for me, and that'll probably be I don't have a
lot of firsts left. But if I did a showcase, like,
I haven't really done like a proper gang bang. Okay,
(45:48):
so I would probably see something what is a.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Proper gang bang to it?
Speaker 3 (45:52):
Well, I guess it would have to be at least
five people. I feel like there's debate on what's a gang.
I feel like five at least five people would be.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Like, Okay, so have you been with four people? Four guys?
Or was it or three?
Speaker 3 (46:09):
Trying to think, hmmm, I don't think I have. I
don't think at least not on camera.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Okay, yeah, all cameras.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
It is the only thing that yeah, exactly, I don't
think I really have had a proper ganging. Okay, So
I think that would be fun. I'm not really into
blowbangs personally. It's a lot of work, it's a lot
of it's a lot I don't like. It's very on
your Oh no, not that much.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Yeah, not so much that it's like all those guys.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Like I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I'm not into like drinking come out of a cup.
That's not really why not sound it? You're right, some
people do love it. You don't want to go to
do you know? That that studio like in Spain that
they go. Oh my god, I had Sadie Summers and
Sophia Loa told me about where they go and they
(47:03):
have like a counter and it's like how many loads
can you swallow?
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Have you heard about this place?
Speaker 3 (47:08):
I have it?
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Like God, it's insane. This like fascinated me so much.
And both girls, by the way, like loved this experience.
This is of course, this is definitely not somewhere that
sounds like you would ever want to go. But it's
like it's like I don't know, like over a hundred
guys and yeah, you just sit there and you swallow
(47:31):
as many loads as you can, and there's someone there.
And they were both talked about like what a great
experience it was and how professional they were and how
like clean it was. And they have someone there who
has like one of those counter clicker counters, and like
every time they swallow a load, they like click it
to like see how many they get. And they also
like give you some kind of like medicine to take
(47:53):
so that it like coats your stomach so it doesn't
make you sick to swallow all that come because you know,
swallowing all would make you say yeah and yeah, you
just like sit there and.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Just that's amazing. Wow. One thing I love about our
job is like for me, I have this thing where
I love to see. To me, it's like very athletic
our job because I like to just like I think
it's fascinating to see what the human body is capable
of and what it can do. And I think even
for some of my intense scenes, it's not always even
sexual for me, but I get off in my own
(48:25):
way on like I feel so proud of myself after
I take like a huge dick in my ass or
a DP or something, I'm just like I did that,
you know, And so I feel like that's kind of
like maybe how it is for them too.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Yeah, but yeah, it's just and I have.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
This personality even in non sexual things like I love
like I contrast therapy like a cold plunge, like in
like really hot sauna, and I just like to see
like what I can handle and like pushing my body.
So that's what it is for me, like the fun
of it.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
I guess what is like the most extra dream scene
you think you've ever done, or the one that you
came away walked away from the most proud of yourself.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
Well, I actually just have a DP that came out,
Like anytime I do that's just like wow, human body. Yeah,
so I would say my last or the DP that
just got released for Tushy. And then I also love
shooting for kink. That's really fun because I like the
psychological aspect of things and like being tied up. So
anytime I shoot for kink, that's always like a really
(49:26):
amazing experience. And then I did a scene in Prague
that was probably like the maybe my most like sort
of taboo thing. I got peed on, which I had
never done before, and I don't usually like to do
things I've never done for the first time on camera.
But I was just like, let me see if I'm
into it. Yeah, And it was super clean, like it's
mostly water, and I had my rules that was like
(49:47):
nothing in my mouth or in my holes, just like
pee on me, and so I did that. It was
like an anal scene and then he peed on me
at the end and it just didn't do anything for me,
like it didn't like It's not like I didn't like it.
I also I didn't get off on it. I was
just like, oh, this is kind of whatever. It's kind
of a bitch to clean too.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
So so you think you probably wouldn't do it again. Yeah, noah,
I don't think so, but don't quote me on that. Yeah,
maybe it was like significantly more.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know, like what would make me
more into it. I love peeing in the shower.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
It's just convenience really.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
Like I guess some people are like, oh, it's so warm,
like they like that aspect to it. So I don't know,
it's so funny. I actually I never let myself pee
in the shower until a few years ago. I don't
know why. I just I thought it was like wrong
or something. And then so I was like I wanna
try being in the shower, and my body it took
like I couldn't do it for a while, like my
body wouldn't let me because it was like it's not
(50:48):
about you can't pay in the shower. And then I
finally overcame it, and now I'm paying the shower all
the time and I love it.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
I think there's like a Seinfeld episode is about peeing
in the shower? Am I right? Yeah, there's a Seinfeld
episode about peeing in the shower and I'd pee in
the shower because I like convenient. The water washes it
away like pa is. Actually like for the most part,
it's sterile, right, like if you get stung by a jellyfish,
you like pee on yourself to like some people like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
I think there's like tons of health benefits.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I don't know about.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
That, but not doing that, but here any to feel like.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I've always like, I just pee in the shower because
it's like easy. And then I saw this Seinfeld episode
and I was like, I didn't know there was a
controversy about peeing in the shower. I don't know. Crazy
all right, Well, Scarlet, thank you so much for coming on.
It's been such a pleasure. I loved all of our
non porno talk, yes, and our porno talk as well.
(51:43):
I do have some questions for you from my Patreon
members that will do in a separate segment, but for now,
can you let everybody know where they can find you online? Please?
Speaker 3 (51:54):
Yes, you can google me Scarlet Alexis, and then my
Twitter is Scarlet Alexis with the three instead of Anessa
at the end. Instagram is Scarlett Alexis with three s's,
and my only fans is Scarlett Alexis with three x's
good luck.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
And you guys can find me on Instagram and on
x at Holly Randall. If you want to support this
podcast and watch these interviews live and of course get
access to these bonus Q and a's like we're about
to do, send in your own questions. Go to Patreon
dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered go to hollylinks dot
com for access to all of my platforms. Thank you
(52:33):
guys so much for joining us and I will see
you next week