May 14, 2025 • 47 mins
Octavia Red isn’t your average porn star. Raised in an ultra-religious home with a wild family dynamic, she went from theater kid to rebel, questioning everything along the way. In this episode, she opens up about how The Dreamers became her go-to self-pleasure material (Eva Green, anyone?), her secret high school crushes, and the moment she said, “f*ck it, why not try porn?” We also dive into her passion project, “The Red Door,” a daring mix of Moulin Rouge meets steamy fantasy, and how she’s using it to reinvent herself beyond the adult industry. Octavia’s journey is raw, hilarious, and full of surprises, from navigating grief to embracing her artistic side. Find out how porn actually saved her life. Join us on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and a Q&A session with the one and only Octavia Red! Get the inside scoop, the raw stories, and all the extra perks you won’t hear anywhere else. Head to patreon.com/hollyrandallunfiltered and unlock your VIP access now! ________________________________________________________ Ready to improve your bedroom performance? Try LOAD BOOST by VB Health and see what everyone is talking about. A powerful supplement to improve the quality, size, and even the taste of your load. That's right. Make every moment count! Visit loadboost.com and use code HOLLY for 10% off.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
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Find me on all social media platforms - HollyLinks.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. Before we start,
I just want to make sure that you guys are
checking out my new online magazine, Excessive. It's XSIV mag
dot com to go check it out. We are reporting
on all of the amazing stuff that's going on in
the adult industry. Our newest issue is the Music Issue
(00:47):
with cover star Jules Blue. We just threw a huge
three day rager called Excessive House that went spectacularly well.
You can see all of the video and the pictures
on my Instagram.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Make sure you go and check it out.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
It is something I'm very proud of and it's just
a really beautiful magazine. And there's so much more to come,
and I'm very excited about something else beautiful that I'm
bringing you right now, which is my guest today. She
didn't let her conservative upbringing keep her from finding her passion,
and after just a few years in the industry, she's
already an Avian Award winning performer with such a bright
(01:23):
future ahead of her. Welcome Octavia red Hi Hi, how
are you good? Thank you for having me, Thank you
for coming. I'm so excited. I've been hearing your name
so much, like all the time. You're definitely a rising star.
Do you feel that? Do you feel like your trajectory
(01:43):
right now?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I think it's hard when you are the person because
sometimes I feel it and other times I'm like, oh,
I'm not doing enough. I gotta work harder. Yeah, But
then sometimes I'm like, no, I'm doing pretty well for
how long I've been.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
In Yeah, Well, you've got a lot of projects going on.
I mean, we were just talking before we started about
how you know, like you've got so much going on
that you need to like take a couple of days
off and like shoot some content for your personal platforms.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
So it's got to be hard to juggle all of that.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
It is, especially as I love to travel, So that's
another aspect, is trying to fit in traveling around on
top of pro shoots and doing my own content and
finding time to sleep. It's been sleep.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I don't know, it's becoming unfamiliar.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
That's why I drink celsius just in this cup. But
you wouldn't know, basically like liquid crack. Please sponsor my podcast.
I drink so much of your sodas and it's very
bad for me, but I really needed to.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Get through the day, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
So let's start from the beginning. You grew up in
a very conservative Christian household. You were one of eleven,
is that right? Yes, So tell me a little bit
about that.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
So I grew up in a very big family. I
personally only really grew up with four with my siblings,
so there's eleven of us, and then I have three
step siblings. It was a big family. There was for me.
I'm the youngest, so there was about seven of us
at home at a time because two parents, five kids.
So I grew up moving a lot, and I don't know,
(03:19):
I don't know how else to live. So yeah, normality
is relative, yeah exactly. So, like, I don't know what
to tell you, because for me, it was so normal
to have so many people around me. I pretty much
shared a room all the time growing up until I
hit like fourteen, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I mean, there's got to be something like really wonderful
about that though, to be like surrounded by family and
like kids your age, Like, did you have a good
relationship with your siblings growing up.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
No, okay, did I take that back? Never mind, it
was good in this sense that I was. We were
all kind of homeschooled, and we moved a lot, so
we didn't have a lot of friends. We didn't get
to interact with the outside world, so having each other
was helpful. But we definitely had a very broken up family.
(04:08):
There was a lot of home abuse, of course, and
not of course not of course, but there was a
lot of that going on. So there was a lot
of disconnect between me and my siblings until we got
older and we started connecting more.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
So you moved I think I have it in my
notes twenty one times before you turned.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Eighteen around there or something like that.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, insane, that's got to be. I mean, that's really disruptive.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
It was being younger. I didn't really like it as much.
I mean, I didn't know any better because I had
always moved around, right, But I always longed for that
small town you're there, you know everybody since birth. I
always longed for that as a kid, But now as
an adult looking back, I got to live so many
(04:51):
different types of lives before I turned eighteen that it
really brought in my perspective and I think that there's
a value to that, and so I'm happy I got
to experience that.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So tell me a little bit more about your childhood.
I mean, you said you were homeschooled, you grew up
in a super Christian conservative family?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Like, what was God in your home?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Like?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
What was a day to day life?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah, so my mom, both my parents were pretty religious,
my mom more so than my dad. Definitely. They wanted
to go to church. They wanted to go to Sunday
school church on Wednesday. Is that kind of thing. And
it had been occurring since I was born, so it
kind of became like a regular thing. But I personally,
(05:40):
I think for me, it always felt more like a
fantasy thing that just we kind of did. It didn't
become something really important irrelevant to me. I was never
like a huge hardcore Christian. I fully stopped believing in
it when I was like eleven twelve.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Oh wow, was there anything in particular that made you
believe that going believing that, I should say, growing.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Up with such an abusive parent that was so religious
it kind of makes you feel like it's hypocritical and
that it's bullshit. Yeah, And I always grew up questioning things.
I was always that kid asking the questions like why,
like if God made us? Who made God? You know,
trying like poking holes in everything. So it was just
(06:26):
kind of not something I ever fully believed anyways, Right,
So I kind of created that like, ah, this is bullshit,
Like how can you when you're doing all these horrendous
things try to impose your religion on me. That doesn't
add up and you don't even follow the faith yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So yeah, now that makes sense. Yeah, what is your
relationship with religion and God?
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Now I went through a lot of phases with it.
I became very resentful to Christianity at first, but now
I see it as us something that some people actually need.
Some people do need religion, they need to believe in
those things. I think there is a spiritual aspect to
the world, whether it's a God or Mother Nature or
(07:15):
I don't know what's out there, but I think energy
is real. I think we can all feel that. So
I'm just I try to be as open minded as possible,
and I try to regulate the I guess triggering or
trauma responses that I can have with it to understanding
that that's just something I experience. But that's not what
that religion actually is as a whole.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, it's the way that like people. I mean, it
sounds like it was weaponized against you, which is unfortunate,
and human beings, unfortunately, can take anything that is meant
to be a and weaponize it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Now.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I grew up in an atheist household, so I'm definitely
not here to like, you know, support religion in any way,
but I agree with you. I think that some people
do need it, and I can see it is bringing
comfort to some peopleeole.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I mean, some people have like really hard lives.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And just difficult existences and they need to believe that
there's something better for them out there afterwards.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yeah, I give them something to hold on to to
keep them going day to day.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And you know, and like I never really thought about
this too much until, like my father died. But you know,
the idea that people who so strongly believe in like
the afterlife, you know, who truly believe that their loved
ones are going somewhere like wonderful and then like they
can join them later, that feels like a really comforting
feeling and thought to have because I don't have that,
(08:35):
you know, like to me, like my dad's gone forever.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
It's interesting. Yeah, I know it is because so my
father passed away and I've lost four sisters and sorry, uh,
thank you, it's okay. And some of my siblings are
still very religious, some of them not so much. Some
of them are. And my latest sister who passed away,
she had such a peace. She passed away from lamatory
(09:00):
breast cancer, but she passed away with such a peace
because she felt like, I'm going to go to heaven
and I'm going to be with God. My children are
gonna be taken care of.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
So like she had this piece about her when she
went and that was that was in itself just kind
of interesting to watch her not fight it and have that.
So what I think religion does have its benefits and
bless things to people.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
So how did that strong religious background and you know,
being raised that way, how did that affect your relationship
with sexuality?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
I think the way that my mother was about sex
was very that's the right word, not great. She was
a bit sexist towards men. So she would always say like,
oh man, I'll just want one thing from you. That's
all they want from you. You got to guard yourself
beyond guard that kind of thing, whether or not that's
true or not, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I mean, colonel or.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I mean, look like we all want something from somebody, right,
Like that's just human nature, so to a degree, to
a degree, but not everybody.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Yeah, not in the scareful tactic that she was using, Yes, exactly,
and it was about like, you know, sex before marriage,
this whole nine yards. But being someone that you know,
I'm the youngest, right, so I'm in't sitting in the
hot seat where I get to see what all my
other siblings go through and how she treats them. So
I always had the perspective of half the ship she's
(10:32):
telling me is bullshit, which is probably not a great
way for a kid to grow up. But that with
everything that she was imposing about sex, I kind of
took that with a grain of salt. And even though
it made me feel like, oh, maybe this is wrong,
maybe I shouldn't be doing this, it didn't overtake me.
So I still was a very sexual, sexual person and
(10:56):
didn't let that override as much. But they're definitely is
a reserve side where it's hard for me to just
open up and just have fun, like it takes me
a second to be like, Okay, it's okay, I'm having sex.
I can be here too.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Do you still feel that way?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Oh yeah, definitely, okay.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
So, like it's it's so hard to shed that shame,
Like when it's ingrained in you from a young age,
it's so hard to like let that go.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
It is like, even even with like the resilience of
being like oh this is bullshit at a young age,
it's still in there. Yeah, it's still in.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Because you're hard wired from such a young age, Like
it doesn't matter what you learn later, like you will
always carry that with you for the rest of your life, absolutely,
which is like why I work so like which I'm
so careful with my daughter who's four, to like give
her a balance perspective. I mean, she's too young to
talk about sex right obviously, but just like just nudity
(11:50):
and like just little things just in general. Like I
was talking to a friend of mine and she was like,
when are you gonna like talk to your daughter about
like menstruation, you know, And I'm like, ilady.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Did she asked me?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And I told her and I explained to her what happened,
and she asked me where babies come from. And I
didn't explain the sex part right because she didn't ask really,
but I told her, like what I mean, I.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Just form the womb.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah, Like I just tell her the truth like in
a way that makes her understand.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And I don't. I'm not weird about it.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
No, because you know what I mean, because as a parent,
you're a guide, right, Yeah, You're just guiding this precious
life to understand so that they have the proper tools
when they're older to live a good life. Yeah. Yeah,
so I think I think that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, I mean and I was raised that way too,
without like a sense of like shame around sex. And
I feel like I have like a healthy relationship with that.
Like I just you know, I don't ever want her
to feel like I want her to be careful about it.
I want her to understand obviously that there's repercussions that
come with you know, sex and like casuals, like all
of those things that we all as adults understand, like STDs, pregnancies,
(12:59):
like safety, safety.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like so many things.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
But like I don't ever want her to, like, you know,
carry like a sense of shame around it.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, so's it's hard to like find that balance. But
I talked to so many people like you who you know,
were raised in that kind of household and fans too.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Actually, yeah, I think it's also the era.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
I Like my parents were in their sixties, so where
the era that they grew up in was still very religious,
still like you're you're a whore if you have sex
with anyone but your husband kind of thing. And my
mom got pregnant out of wedlock, like she got pregnant
seventeen eighteen, So I'm sure she dealt with a lot
of like bad you know. I'm sure she got shamed
(13:47):
for that, yeah, you know, and that era just wants
to protect you exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
So I think a lot of these fears come from
their own personal experiences because we were we weren't really
away from the religion aspect at that point. I think
we're just starting to break that down. And maybe the
early two thousands.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
So what was your first exposure to anything related to
sex or the porn industry?
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Movies? So, at a young age, I was watching movies
that maybe were a little more advanced for me to
be watching. And I can't remember exactly what movie it was.
But I remember the girl was about my age, like ten,
like tennish or whatever. Because again, very religious family, we
(14:32):
don't talk about sex, right. She asked those questions like
where did babies come from? What are sex? And it
was that scene in the movie where I found out, like, oh,
penis inside vagina? You know, that's where I learned.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
It was, where'd you think babies came before that?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I don't think I really thought about it, Okay. I
think that I just didn't care as a kid, like
it wasn't a worry to me because I never wanted
to have kids. I wasn't a baby doll person.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You also were the youngest, so you never saw your
mom have another child, right.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Yeah, that's probably a big part of it too. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't know. I just never had that question, And
so I learned through movies. And that's kind of funny
putting this together. That's probably why when I started masturbating
and all this, I watched sex scenes from movies. I
didn't I mean, I watched porn, but I didn't really
(15:24):
watch porn as much. I would find the explicit sex
scenes from like Eva Green's French films, for instance. Oh wow,
the dreamers and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
That's like high class.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
It's just so good.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
So your parents, so you had like access to a
personal computer on the internet. Were they like concerned about
what you would access or did they not think about it?
I feel like a lot of parents don't think about
what their kids are looking at online.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Oh, they definitely. I mean my dad didn't care, but
my mom was definitely scoping. I remember her taking all
my siblings. I was too young, so she told me
to go in the other room, but she had all
my siblings in the living room, which she was like,
who was watching poor? And she she blamed it all
my brother, but I learned as an adult it was
actually my sister.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Oh my god, that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I love it so much. My brother just took the
al he was like, fine.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Oh my god, that's ironic.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
So between the time period of growing up in a
religious household and getting into porn, did you have an
active sex life.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I did.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
I was kind of with the same guy for four
years and then a guy after him for five years,
So I wasn't like going around fucking a lot of people.
But I had a very active sex life with my
high school sweetheart and with the guy I was with
after him too, after him, so I was still having
sex and you know, having fun here and there.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Were you worried about having sex like with your first boyfriend?
And did you have access to like contraception or did
you know about contraception because that's another problem too with
kids who don't have sex education, and you know, because
you don't talk about sex, and then they go and
they have sex like a lot of you know, like
young older teenagers do or whatever, and then they don't,
(17:18):
you know, they don't they don't know how to mean.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Mom.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
The minute I like had a real boyfriend, my mom
put me on birth control at sixteen, Oh okay, because
she was like, you're not going to have a baby
at sixteen, you know what I mean, Like she knew
it was happening.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
So so I was homeschooled till sixth grade and then
I went to public school, okay, and luckily in high
school I did get a sex education through them. Okay,
I still wasn't allowed to date technically, so I was
like secretly dating this boy for four years and we
were smart because I was paranoid, like I don't want
to get pregnant. I don't. I was more worried about
(17:55):
getting pregnant than STDs at the time, but I was
also worried.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Is the STD that sticks with you for eighteen years? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Yeah, oh that didn't want that? No good, So we
were safe, Like we use condoms for sure, because let's see,
when I was in AM I allowed to say when
I lost my virginity on here. Yeah okay, yeah, I
mean I was younger and planned parenthood was still kind
(18:24):
of around and was more prevalent before all the crap,
and so it was kind of accessible to get some
condoms here and there. So yeah, that's k smart.
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(20:04):
so let's talk about how you ended up working in
the adult industry. How did you segue from growing up Christian,
conservative family, homeschools, then porn industry.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
You know, I was kind of just working bullshit nine
to five jobs, a couple of cool jobs, but mostly
just bullshit nine to five jobs and COVID hit and
I lost. My job was working at a casino at
closed down. Long story short, I just decided to do
things that I enjoyed with my time. And I've always
been a theater kid, choir kid, loved performing arts, I
(20:41):
loved modeling. So I just started working with Instagram photographers
and models to do boudoir modeling and just do explicit nudes.
And that's how I started. So opened my Twitter and
with a couple of Within a couple of days, I
got hit up by an agent asking me if I'd
be interested doing porn. I talked with him. I thought
(21:04):
it was a scam. At first, I got the license
idea of the agency, realized it wasn't a.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Scamarm you asked for the license, I d.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
I did, wow, Okay, I was like, I'm not falling
for a scam. And I sat on it and I
was like, I don't know if I should because I
never thought about doing porn before. It was never a
thought in my head. And then I decided, maybe six
months after he had reached out to me, like okay,
I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
What made you make that decision, because that's a pretty
big decision.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I don't know. I don't know. I think that I
have lived my life a little impulsively, Okay. I'm always
interested in new adventures, doing new things, things that I
know nothing about. Sometimes I'd just like to dive in
to find out about it if I can do it
in a safe way. And I think I held off
on it because I wasn't sure if this was safe.
(21:57):
If that makes sense. Yeah, if you're a civilian and
you're in, You're like, oh, I'm gonna get sex traffic.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Like wow, that's the biggest. That's like the number one
thing I hear. It's like, oh, am I going to
get sex trafficked?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Like well, because I'd be flying from Sacramento to Vegas, right,
so I'd be going to a city that I do
nothing about. No, you're there. So I'm like, this is
a big risk for me. So I sat in it
for a while and I decided to take the leap.
I think I was just going through a lot of
things in my life and I was looking for something
(22:30):
that would fulfill me. And I decided to see if
this is what it would do.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
That and what is what is the result so far?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
So far? Yeah, it has. You know. I did three
scenes and then I left for almost a year because
I you know, chickened out. I was like, was my
family going to think of me? What are my friend's
going to think of me? Am I going to be
able to look myself in the mirror and be happy
with what I'm doing? Because once you're out there, you're
out there.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yeah, you know, like I.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Could maybe do three scenes and get away with like
you know.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Throwing disappearing into the ether.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Maybe yeah, maybe, like I'm sure it'll come up, you know.
But I had to really have that real conversation with
myself because I'm the type of person that I don't
like to hide what I'm doing. I don't like to
feel like I have to hide parts of my life
away from who I care about. And I decided to
take that leap so my family knows, everybody knows. I
(23:26):
don't hide it from anybody. I mean, maybe my uber driver, but.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Smart, you know, yeah, because it's very.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Important to me to just be genuine to the people
around me. So I took that time to really make
sure this is what I wanted to do, and I'm
very happy that I did, because I think in a way,
porn has very much saved my life.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Okay, can you elaborate on that.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Yeah. So, Also when I was diving into porn, I
had lost my dad in twenty eighteen, and I had
lost two sisters, and then my sister two other sisters
were going through inflammatory breast cancer. One of them was
(24:11):
at stage four. And I might get teary eyed, but
it's okay. When you watch someone who's very young lose
their life and they're fighting very hard to keep every
second of it, and you've been depressed and hating life
(24:31):
and suicidal, you see how much that person wants their life,
and it makes you think, how can I sit here
I want to give my life up when that person
would do anything to spend more time with their children,
(24:51):
And you're like, Okay, I can't keep being this little
shit that's going to work smoking all day just to
numb themselves and not do anything with their life. If
I'm given this time that's being stolen from this person,
I better fucking do something with it. And that was
(25:12):
the biggest motivator for me of like, Okay, maybe porn
is not the endgame, but it can open doors to
things that I do really love, which is music, fashion, traveling,
performing arts, modeling. You know, I got to work with Hustler,
I've got to work with Penthouse, I get to sit
here with you. That's phenomenal. Like these are like I've
(25:35):
worked with Fixon now, which was huge aspiration for me.
Browsers now, Like these are huge things that I never
thought in a million years that I would be able
to do. And it took, unfortunately, those traumatic things to
realize I am wasting my life and I have to change.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I can so relate to that, and it's it's like
that's the gift that your sister gave you, you know,
and sometimes like somebody, like the death of somebody, it
can be you can take that as a gift. You
can take that horrible, devastating thing and you can turn
(26:22):
it around, and you can and you can make something
out of it, and you can turn it into like
a gift of life in a way. But you have
to decide to make to turn that thing around.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Yeah, instead of wallowing in the sorrow, Yeah, turning it
into something that you can live with. And also those
people who pass, they don't want you to be miserable, Yeah,
they want you to take that love and grief, because
grief is a beautiful thing. It's painful, but it's beautiful
and you can take it and turn it into something productive. Yeah,
(26:56):
that's what those people who pass want you to do. Yeah,
we will talk about Dix at some point.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Oh my god, I know there's been like a lot.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Of it's been a rough year, man, and like my
uncle died yesterday.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Oh my gosh, you're like the fourth person that I've
been talking to this week that someone has passed away.
It's so heavy.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
Yeah, it's like the time of year.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I don't know, I know a lot. I've talked
to a lot of people going through that. It's yeah,
it's a lot.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
It goes on, you know, and here we are.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
I think that's the weirdest part about death is accepting
that it does still go on.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
So how has your family reacted to your career? My family,
I think is just happy. I'm alive and happy at
this point. And some of them, so.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
You were really going through it? Were they concerned like
they were going to lose you?
Speaker 4 (27:55):
Oh? Meat, No, it's just that like it felt like
every year we were losing it.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Gotcha.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
So it was just like Okay, my dad passed. Then
six months six or eight months later, another sister passes,
than another another, And I think all of that bonded
us together to where like, it doesn't really matter what
you do as long as you're happy and healthy. We
just want to love each other.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
So I have some siblings who think it's really cool
what I do. I have other siblings that are like,
I wish you weren't doing that, but like love you anyways. Yeah,
And I think that's the best thing that I could
ask for.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
It's another gift that death gave you.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of strange how there's beauty in that.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
So what would you say to someone who's curious about
working and porn but feels held back by the shame
or stigma.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I think that you just have to figure out what
you're willing to accept with your own life and what
you're willing to put up with. If you can't handle
people occasionally telling you that what you're doing is wrong
and that you're terrible person, or you're a whore, or
you're detrimental to society or whatever, or if you can't
tolerate perhaps losing a few friends or a few siblings,
(29:09):
and yeah, don't do it. To be honest, don't do it.
But if you can and it's something you really love
and you want to make something of it, go for it.
Don't let anything holds you back.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
How do you deal with the online trolls and the
negative feedback that you may get.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
I'm not great at it, I'll be honest, I'm not
the best at it. I've been fortunate in my career
that I haven't dealt with too many trolls. I'll get
hateful comments here and there. I get more irritated when whoever,
like if somebody else posting something or if it I
(29:50):
just get more irritated when the poster engages with that
troll comment and continues it on. That's what bothers me
over anything, because it's like now you're leading controls, you're
feeding the trolls, and then more trolls are going to come.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
I think it's just better to delete, block and not
deal with it. Yeah, And I try to remind myself
that the more hate I get, it generally means that's
the better I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, no, absolutely, I you know, I remember, like I
collab you know on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
You can collab with people, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, So I had Adriana chut Chick on It's you know,
a huge name, huge following, and I collabed with her
on a clip from this podcast, and so obviously I
saw all the comments that she would get and.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Holy shit, they were like death, like you should.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Die, like you like I was just reading, you know,
I didn't realize like how much you know, like the
kind of vitual that she got was shocking to me.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
And she's such a nice person. She's just out there
like living her life like you know, sucking dick.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Like having fun second dick and having fun like let
the girl like do what she wants, Like what is
she doing to you exactly?
Speaker 4 (31:10):
It was just.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
It was like you wouldn't say that to her if
she was sitting in front of you.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
No, you definitely wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
No. Yeah, it was just crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
And you know that's when I kind of realized like
how much you know, somebody's you know, more popular porn
stars get and just kind of give me like a
newfound respect for what they have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Yeah, it happened to me very Actually, this week a
different podcast was on was released and the comment section
was just horrendous. It was the I think this is
maybe like the third podcast so I've done maybe, so
like outside of like pro shoots or me posting my
own things, I don't really deal with other people's fan
(31:51):
bases or their comments. But with this one it was
so bad. It was like every other comment was horrible,
and it wasn't about what I was saying, because I
understand it was about what I'm saying, but it was
like it was mostly just about my eye was really
what it was about. I'm like, okay, I just pick
us something a little more clever than something right on
(32:14):
my face.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
But was it a podcast that isn't like usually about
the adult industry.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
No, it usually is.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Because sometimes, like when you go, I have found when
I've done podcasts that are not like about the adult industry,
and so it goes to another audience that is not
generally engaged in adult They're just like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
What is this cheat on the camera?
Speaker 4 (32:39):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
That's where I get the most money hate. Don't get
me wrong, I have plenty of hate on my YouTube channel.
You will probably get negative comments on my YouTube channel,
like I there's gonna be right.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
They're gonna be there.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
See. I think it was from Facebook, because I know
I'm never on Facebook with that, and I think because
they posted on Facebook and then it like pulled in these.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I we post on Facebook too. I gotta tell you,
I don't ever read them, so I don't know what's
on there. But yeah, face, yeah, Facebook is pretty I
think it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
I stopped going on there after.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Like, yeah, don't read the comments.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah, I just don't try not too.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
That's my that's my advice.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Lesson learned this week.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
What are your favorite fetishes or fantasies to play out
on camera?
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I feel like I'm a very boring porn star because
I don't have like a direct fetish that I'm crazy about.
I just really like crimal, passionate sex, Like I love
a hand of my throat, in my hair and just
looking at each other's eyes and just really going at it,
(33:50):
which I don't know what you would call that fetish,
but that's just what I love. Like, I just love
to feel that that person really wants to be there
and just going along with just having fun.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I just like that. You just love like passion and intimacy. Yeah, yeah,
that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I get that any particular kinds of shoots that you like, Like,
do you prefer gonzo or features?
Speaker 4 (34:13):
Oh? I like features? I do.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Do you like the acting?
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I do. I'm a big theater kid, right, so I
like long days on set. It doesn't bother me as
long as we're doing stuff. I could be there twelve hours, happy,
no problem. I just love the creative drive behind features,
the energy of a there's so much excitement between the
actors the crew. I love the camaraderie between being on
(34:41):
set with those same people, like for four days. It's
a lot of fun. Yeah, and I love seeing the
creativity flowing.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
That's a great thing about working in porn versus working
in mainstream is that because we're such a small industry
and we work so frequently, generally directors have like their
same crew members that they work with all the time,
so it's kind of like it really is like a family.
Like you'll see the same people over and over and
over again, so you kind of end up bonding like
(35:11):
with the crew members and it feels very familiar, and
it feels and eventually you get to know everyone, whereas
the mainstream usually that you are like as a director
or you know, in production or makeup or whatever. You
generally like, it's such a big industry. You're rotating and
you're getting paired with different You're very rarely working with
(35:34):
like the same crew, you know, maybe like some key
people depending on.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Where you're at.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
What.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah, Like, I mean if you're a Spielberg, obviously, like
you get to like have your DP and like all
those key people. But if you're working in general mainstream,
like you know, day to day, you're working with like
people you've never met before.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
I forget that TP means something totally different. Yeah, means
stream like DP. Why would they be doing that? Oh?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Wait, ATM also means automated teller machine as well, just
so you.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Know, so when I see that will make more sense. Ly,
tractor of photography. I love those little things, like we.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
What Yeah, I know, I know, right, but yeah, that
is like that is a nice thing. So what of
all of the features that you have done so far,
do you have a favorite.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Oh, I mean I'm partial to my showcase. Okay, for sure,
I have a bias to my showcase. Right now, I've
done so many cool projects it's hard to pick one.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
I Well, before you go into that.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Tell us about your showcase, because maybe somebody's watching this
and they're like.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Chess a showcase. I want to see it? Do you
tell us about it?
Speaker 4 (36:41):
It's called The Red Door, okay, and you'll find it
an elegant angel. It was released, I believe in December,
and it's I'm so excited to talk about it because
you'll see the theater kid me coming out with that one,
because it's kind of a Mulon rouge, but like modern
(37:03):
kind of version kind of that's brad it was. I
love a good Mulon rouge, like art direction.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I'm so into that.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I've done some stuff like that, and those are like
my favorite.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
I love it, yeah, because I love burlesque. I love
like Western saloon girls. I love the nineteen twenty show girls.
So I kind of like merged all these kind of
styles together to create like not a time piece, because
it's not exactly a time piece, but it's like a
modernized version of a time piece to bring it kind
(37:38):
of back between like the eighteen to the nineteen hundreds
a little bit hm with some of the two thousands flair,
of course, and it's about this theater owner who during
the day, it is like a regular theater, and then
she starts exploring her sexuality and starts making these sexual
fantasies come to life until it turns into a sex
(38:00):
at night, which is really awesome because the finale scene
I'm gonna I'm getting ahead of myself. There's four scenes.
The first scene is me with two of my regular
patrons after the show, the regular show. Two guys, two guys,
mister Charles Darra and mister Van Wild. Very good scene.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
We love those, We love both of them.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
Great guys. Oh the cast is so chef's kiss so good,
so good. I'm so excited about every part of this.
And then the second scene, I invite like this couple
I used to work with at the old theater I
was at, you know, Nathan Bronson and the beautiful Nicole
Kit Nice. Such a good scene. It was my first
time with Nicole Kit and the chemistry so beautiful, Yeah,
(38:46):
so gorgeous. I met her on a different set and
we just had good chemistry. We didn't work together, but
we met and I was like, I need her in
my showcase.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I feel Liken Cole and I talked about her coming
on this Podcastle col Cool I.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Don't know why I'm blaming it on her. I probably
have balzer. I'm the one who needs to up.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Sorry, I got to get her in here. That was
a beautiful scene. And then the third scene, which I loved.
I was really excited about this because I did kind
of a gender bender kind of thing. So it's the
all girls scene with Scarlett, Alexis and Giselle Blanco. Gorgeous ladies.
(39:28):
I found them these really beautiful beaded They're technically a
belly dancer outfit, but it looks more showgirl and we
made it in like nineteen twenty show girl. And then
I'm in all black lingerie with a TuS jacket on
and as top e, so I have because my idea
was to make them feel stunning and beautiful and hot
(39:50):
and sexy and wanting to be there, and I wanted
to kind of be like the masculine energy that makes
them stand out was my idea, and it just out
so beautifully. I do wear a strap on, so it's
a fun scene. And then the finale was so cool.
I did my first three guys as I hadn't done
(40:12):
that before, and they allowed me to do that for
my showcase and there was a live audience. Oh wow, yeah,
which is so cool. It was a lot of starting
out models of belief from one oh one and they're
all watching and I just want to give a shout
out to them as well, because they were all day.
They were there all day on set for like ten
hours with me before we finally had the sex scene.
(40:35):
And it was so cool to have like fifteen of
my peers really sitting there watching me take my first
three men. Yeah, that was really cool. Who were the guys?
Oh yeah, I gotta say that. The guys are Kyle Mason,
Isaiah Maxwell, and Vince Carter.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yeah, nice, that's awesome. And you did you style all
of the clothes?
Speaker 4 (40:58):
I did with the help of PILLI. She helped me
with it, but I had kind of already had a
lot of it from my wardrobe already.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Because you have a great sense of style, like every time,
Like i mean your outfit on the av and red carpet,
I'd like still like it, like burned in my mind.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
It was such a rat outfit. I mean, you've got
a great sense of style.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Thank you. I love fashion so much. It's something thank you.
I want to dive into it. For sure. But yeah,
I had a lot of pieces in my closet and
then I scoured the internet for what I wanted because
I'm a very particular person when it comes to fashion,
and I wanted it to not look cost to me.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
My biggest thing is it can't look cost to me.
I don't like cheesy costume things. I think that she
didn't order anything, Yandy, No, no, Muiltily. I did get
some Amazon things, but you can't sell it's you say it.
Maybe the white tux a little, but like.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Sometimes Amazon comes out with some pretty like amazing stuff.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
I got really good stuff. Yeah, yeah, I did, with
a little help of Pilly. I wrote the voiceover. I
wrote the concept of it as well, and had a
hand and casting. I really had a hand in a
lot of it. But ow with mad creativity, he really
(42:17):
took my concept and brought it to life. So I
got to give him a lot of credit for just
how beautifully well done it is.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
I mean it's all about your crew, right, Like you
need good people around you to bring that vision to life.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
You said in an interview last year that you really
wanted to start shooting scenes with trans performers have you
been able to do that yet.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
Yes, I have one scene. I would love to have more.
I got to work with the beautiful Emma Rose.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Oh my god, she's so stunning.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
She's so gorgeous. Yeah, I was very fortunate. We had
a lot of chemistry. It was like a panty sniffing
fetish thing, so we're just like eating each other's panties
before we eat each other. And I had a lot
of fun.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Yeah, so beautiful, She's great, So beautiful.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
How is working in porn affected your sex drive?
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Porn has affected my sex drive for sure. It really
depends on how many scenes I'm doing in a month.
Let's you know, I am not that sexual anymore outside
of work, just because I kind of get that fulfillment
on set, so I'm not super horny outside of work.
But it is also opened up my sexuality because I
(43:30):
came into the industry maybe having fucked seven to ten people,
and I wanted to use the industry as a way
to explore my sexuality. So as much as it's like
made me content sexually, it's also opened my sexuality up,
which is great.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
How's dating for you being in the adult industry? Is
it hard? Are you even trying.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
I've been with the same man for three years. Oh okay, yeah,
so not too hard, not too hard. Yeah. I use
in the industry, which makes it easier.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. So he understand the difference
between like love.
Speaker 4 (44:08):
And sex, Yes, definitely.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Yeah, that can be a hard distinction for a lot
of people. What do you like to do to unwind
after a long day set?
Speaker 4 (44:18):
I sit in my uber and decompress, where like the
thirty minutes it takes me to get back to my place,
and then I smoke a joint and I might just
like scroll aimlessly, or I'll watch something, but usually just
a joint and some peace are quiet, and then I
get perked back up and then I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
How are you managing work life balance? Do you struggle
with that? Do you struggle with taking time off, taking
time for yourself versus like nose to the grindstone working
all the time?
Speaker 4 (44:52):
I do. I very much a nose to the grindstone.
I like to work. I think I have a problem
with like letting my brain wander, like if I have
something to do, then you know, I'm happy. I've maybe
had four or five days at home since the beginning
of March because I've been just constantly traveling, working, flying around.
(45:14):
I'm not great at balancing it, but I know that
it's very important for me to figure out how to
do that, and hopefully I'll have a better answer next time. No.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
I mean that's a great, honest answer, because I got
to tell you, like I, Yeah, I am not good
at it either.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
And I'm forty six.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
Yeah. I love it very hard. Yeah, it is hard. Yeah,
but I enjoy working I do. It's something I'm passionate about.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
I realized the take after my dad. I'm like, Oh,
I become my dad, haven't I happens to us all
we turn into our parents.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
Yeah, well 'tavia.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Thank you so much for coming on. It's been such
a pleasure getting to know you. Can you tell everyone
where they can find you online?
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Please?
Speaker 4 (45:57):
Yes, you can find me on Instagram at x dot
red Clouds, or you can find me on Twitter at
Octavia x read and you can find the link to
all the other fun sites if you just go to
either of those pages.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Fantastic, and we are going to do a little Q
and A with miss Octavia. My Patreon members sent in questions.
You can get that at Patreon dot com, slash Holly
Randall and filtered, where you can also get access to
the entire uncensored version of this interview. I've had to
make modifications on some of my videos here on YouTube
(46:35):
because I got a little slap on the wrist for
being too uncensored.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Just put it that way.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
You can also find me on Instagram and on x
at Holly Randall. Go to hollylinks dot com to get
access to all of my platforms. Go to xweek dot
io to get early access to the next generation creator platform,
where immersive tech will bring creators and fans together in
(47:03):
a way that has never been done before. Thank you
guys so much for watching, and I will see you
on the next one.
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. Before we start,
I just want to make sure that you guys are
checking out my new online magazine, Excessive. It's XSIV mag
dot com to go check it out. We are reporting
on all of the amazing stuff that's going on in
the adult industry. Our newest issue is the Music Issue
(00:47):
with cover star Jules Blue. We just threw a huge
three day rager called Excessive House that went spectacularly well.
You can see all of the video and the pictures
on my Instagram.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Make sure you go and check it out.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
It is something I'm very proud of and it's just
a really beautiful magazine. And there's so much more to come,
and I'm very excited about something else beautiful that I'm
bringing you right now, which is my guest today. She
didn't let her conservative upbringing keep her from finding her passion,
and after just a few years in the industry, she's
already an Avian Award winning performer with such a bright
(01:23):
future ahead of her. Welcome Octavia red Hi Hi, how
are you good? Thank you for having me, Thank you
for coming. I'm so excited. I've been hearing your name
so much, like all the time. You're definitely a rising star.
Do you feel that? Do you feel like your trajectory
(01:43):
right now?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I think it's hard when you are the person because
sometimes I feel it and other times I'm like, oh,
I'm not doing enough. I gotta work harder. Yeah, But
then sometimes I'm like, no, I'm doing pretty well for
how long I've been.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
In Yeah, Well, you've got a lot of projects going on.
I mean, we were just talking before we started about
how you know, like you've got so much going on
that you need to like take a couple of days
off and like shoot some content for your personal platforms.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
So it's got to be hard to juggle all of that.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
It is, especially as I love to travel, So that's
another aspect, is trying to fit in traveling around on
top of pro shoots and doing my own content and
finding time to sleep. It's been sleep.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I don't know, it's becoming unfamiliar.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
That's why I drink celsius just in this cup. But
you wouldn't know, basically like liquid crack. Please sponsor my podcast.
I drink so much of your sodas and it's very
bad for me, but I really needed to.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Get through the day, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
So let's start from the beginning. You grew up in
a very conservative Christian household. You were one of eleven,
is that right? Yes, So tell me a little bit
about that.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
So I grew up in a very big family. I
personally only really grew up with four with my siblings,
so there's eleven of us, and then I have three
step siblings. It was a big family. There was for me.
I'm the youngest, so there was about seven of us
at home at a time because two parents, five kids.
So I grew up moving a lot, and I don't know,
(03:19):
I don't know how else to live. So yeah, normality
is relative, yeah exactly. So, like, I don't know what
to tell you, because for me, it was so normal
to have so many people around me. I pretty much
shared a room all the time growing up until I
hit like fourteen, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I mean, there's got to be something like really wonderful
about that though, to be like surrounded by family and
like kids your age, Like, did you have a good
relationship with your siblings growing up.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
No, okay, did I take that back? Never mind, it
was good in this sense that I was. We were
all kind of homeschooled, and we moved a lot, so
we didn't have a lot of friends. We didn't get
to interact with the outside world, so having each other
was helpful. But we definitely had a very broken up family.
(04:08):
There was a lot of home abuse, of course, and
not of course not of course, but there was a
lot of that going on. So there was a lot
of disconnect between me and my siblings until we got
older and we started connecting more.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
So you moved I think I have it in my
notes twenty one times before you turned.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Eighteen around there or something like that.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, insane, that's got to be. I mean, that's really disruptive.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
It was being younger. I didn't really like it as much.
I mean, I didn't know any better because I had
always moved around, right, But I always longed for that
small town you're there, you know everybody since birth. I
always longed for that as a kid, But now as
an adult looking back, I got to live so many
(04:51):
different types of lives before I turned eighteen that it
really brought in my perspective and I think that there's
a value to that, and so I'm happy I got
to experience that.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
So tell me a little bit more about your childhood.
I mean, you said you were homeschooled, you grew up
in a super Christian conservative family?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Like, what was God in your home?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Like?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
What was a day to day life?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah, so my mom, both my parents were pretty religious,
my mom more so than my dad. Definitely. They wanted
to go to church. They wanted to go to Sunday
school church on Wednesday. Is that kind of thing. And
it had been occurring since I was born, so it
kind of became like a regular thing. But I personally,
(05:40):
I think for me, it always felt more like a
fantasy thing that just we kind of did. It didn't
become something really important irrelevant to me. I was never
like a huge hardcore Christian. I fully stopped believing in
it when I was like eleven twelve.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Oh wow, was there anything in particular that made you
believe that going believing that, I should say, growing.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Up with such an abusive parent that was so religious
it kind of makes you feel like it's hypocritical and
that it's bullshit. Yeah, And I always grew up questioning things.
I was always that kid asking the questions like why,
like if God made us? Who made God? You know,
trying like poking holes in everything. So it was just
(06:26):
kind of not something I ever fully believed anyways, Right,
So I kind of created that like, ah, this is bullshit,
Like how can you when you're doing all these horrendous
things try to impose your religion on me. That doesn't
add up and you don't even follow the faith yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So yeah, now that makes sense. Yeah, what is your
relationship with religion and God?
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Now I went through a lot of phases with it.
I became very resentful to Christianity at first, but now
I see it as us something that some people actually need.
Some people do need religion, they need to believe in
those things. I think there is a spiritual aspect to
the world, whether it's a God or Mother Nature or
(07:15):
I don't know what's out there, but I think energy
is real. I think we can all feel that. So
I'm just I try to be as open minded as possible,
and I try to regulate the I guess triggering or
trauma responses that I can have with it to understanding
that that's just something I experience. But that's not what
that religion actually is as a whole.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, it's the way that like people. I mean, it
sounds like it was weaponized against you, which is unfortunate,
and human beings, unfortunately, can take anything that is meant
to be a and weaponize it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Now.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I grew up in an atheist household, so I'm definitely
not here to like, you know, support religion in any way,
but I agree with you. I think that some people
do need it, and I can see it is bringing
comfort to some peopleeole.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I mean, some people have like really hard lives.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And just difficult existences and they need to believe that
there's something better for them out there afterwards.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yeah, I give them something to hold on to to
keep them going day to day.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And you know, and like I never really thought about
this too much until, like my father died. But you know,
the idea that people who so strongly believe in like
the afterlife, you know, who truly believe that their loved
ones are going somewhere like wonderful and then like they
can join them later, that feels like a really comforting
feeling and thought to have because I don't have that,
(08:35):
you know, like to me, like my dad's gone forever.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
It's interesting. Yeah, I know it is because so my
father passed away and I've lost four sisters and sorry, uh,
thank you, it's okay. And some of my siblings are
still very religious, some of them not so much. Some
of them are. And my latest sister who passed away,
she had such a peace. She passed away from lamatory
(09:00):
breast cancer, but she passed away with such a peace
because she felt like, I'm going to go to heaven
and I'm going to be with God. My children are
gonna be taken care of.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
So like she had this piece about her when she
went and that was that was in itself just kind
of interesting to watch her not fight it and have that.
So what I think religion does have its benefits and
bless things to people.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
So how did that strong religious background and you know,
being raised that way, how did that affect your relationship
with sexuality?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
I think the way that my mother was about sex
was very that's the right word, not great. She was
a bit sexist towards men. So she would always say like,
oh man, I'll just want one thing from you. That's
all they want from you. You got to guard yourself
beyond guard that kind of thing, whether or not that's
true or not, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I mean, colonel or.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I mean, look like we all want something from somebody, right,
Like that's just human nature, so to a degree, to
a degree, but not everybody.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Yeah, not in the scareful tactic that she was using, Yes, exactly,
and it was about like, you know, sex before marriage,
this whole nine yards. But being someone that you know,
I'm the youngest, right, so I'm in't sitting in the
hot seat where I get to see what all my
other siblings go through and how she treats them. So
I always had the perspective of half the ship she's
(10:32):
telling me is bullshit, which is probably not a great
way for a kid to grow up. But that with
everything that she was imposing about sex, I kind of
took that with a grain of salt. And even though
it made me feel like, oh, maybe this is wrong,
maybe I shouldn't be doing this, it didn't overtake me.
So I still was a very sexual, sexual person and
(10:56):
didn't let that override as much. But they're definitely is
a reserve side where it's hard for me to just
open up and just have fun, like it takes me
a second to be like, Okay, it's okay, I'm having sex.
I can be here too.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Do you still feel that way?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Oh yeah, definitely, okay.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
So, like it's it's so hard to shed that shame,
Like when it's ingrained in you from a young age,
it's so hard to like let that go.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
It is like, even even with like the resilience of
being like oh this is bullshit at a young age,
it's still in there. Yeah, it's still in.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Because you're hard wired from such a young age, Like
it doesn't matter what you learn later, like you will
always carry that with you for the rest of your life, absolutely,
which is like why I work so like which I'm
so careful with my daughter who's four, to like give
her a balance perspective. I mean, she's too young to
talk about sex right obviously, but just like just nudity
(11:50):
and like just little things just in general. Like I
was talking to a friend of mine and she was like,
when are you gonna like talk to your daughter about
like menstruation, you know, And I'm like, ilady.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Did she asked me?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And I told her and I explained to her what happened,
and she asked me where babies come from. And I
didn't explain the sex part right because she didn't ask really,
but I told her, like what I mean, I.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Just form the womb.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah, Like I just tell her the truth like in
a way that makes her understand.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And I don't. I'm not weird about it.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
No, because you know what I mean, because as a parent,
you're a guide, right, Yeah, You're just guiding this precious
life to understand so that they have the proper tools
when they're older to live a good life. Yeah. Yeah,
so I think I think that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, I mean and I was raised that way too,
without like a sense of like shame around sex. And
I feel like I have like a healthy relationship with that.
Like I just you know, I don't ever want her
to feel like I want her to be careful about it.
I want her to understand obviously that there's repercussions that
come with you know, sex and like casuals, like all
of those things that we all as adults understand, like STDs, pregnancies,
(12:59):
like safety, safety.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like so many things.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
But like I don't ever want her to, like, you know,
carry like a sense of shame around it.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, so's it's hard to like find that balance. But
I talked to so many people like you who you know,
were raised in that kind of household and fans too.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Actually, yeah, I think it's also the era.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
I Like my parents were in their sixties, so where
the era that they grew up in was still very religious,
still like you're you're a whore if you have sex
with anyone but your husband kind of thing. And my
mom got pregnant out of wedlock, like she got pregnant
seventeen eighteen, So I'm sure she dealt with a lot
of like bad you know. I'm sure she got shamed
(13:47):
for that, yeah, you know, and that era just wants
to protect you exactly.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
So I think a lot of these fears come from
their own personal experiences because we were we weren't really
away from the religion aspect at that point. I think
we're just starting to break that down. And maybe the
early two thousands.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
So what was your first exposure to anything related to
sex or the porn industry?
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Movies? So, at a young age, I was watching movies
that maybe were a little more advanced for me to
be watching. And I can't remember exactly what movie it was.
But I remember the girl was about my age, like ten,
like tennish or whatever. Because again, very religious family, we
(14:32):
don't talk about sex, right. She asked those questions like
where did babies come from? What are sex? And it
was that scene in the movie where I found out, like, oh,
penis inside vagina? You know, that's where I learned.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
It was, where'd you think babies came before that?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I don't think I really thought about it, Okay. I
think that I just didn't care as a kid, like
it wasn't a worry to me because I never wanted
to have kids. I wasn't a baby doll person.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You also were the youngest, so you never saw your
mom have another child, right.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Yeah, that's probably a big part of it too. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't know. I just never had that question, And
so I learned through movies. And that's kind of funny
putting this together. That's probably why when I started masturbating
and all this, I watched sex scenes from movies. I
didn't I mean, I watched porn, but I didn't really
(15:24):
watch porn as much. I would find the explicit sex
scenes from like Eva Green's French films, for instance. Oh wow,
the dreamers and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
That's like high class.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
It's just so good.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
So your parents, so you had like access to a
personal computer on the internet. Were they like concerned about
what you would access or did they not think about it?
I feel like a lot of parents don't think about
what their kids are looking at online.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Oh, they definitely. I mean my dad didn't care, but
my mom was definitely scoping. I remember her taking all
my siblings. I was too young, so she told me
to go in the other room, but she had all
my siblings in the living room, which she was like,
who was watching poor? And she she blamed it all
my brother, but I learned as an adult it was
actually my sister.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Oh my god, that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I love it so much. My brother just took the
al he was like, fine.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Oh my god, that's ironic.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
So between the time period of growing up in a
religious household and getting into porn, did you have an
active sex life.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I did.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
I was kind of with the same guy for four
years and then a guy after him for five years,
So I wasn't like going around fucking a lot of people.
But I had a very active sex life with my
high school sweetheart and with the guy I was with
after him too, after him, so I was still having
sex and you know, having fun here and there.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Were you worried about having sex like with your first boyfriend?
And did you have access to like contraception or did
you know about contraception because that's another problem too with
kids who don't have sex education, and you know, because
you don't talk about sex, and then they go and
they have sex like a lot of you know, like
young older teenagers do or whatever, and then they don't,
(17:18):
you know, they don't they don't know how to mean.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Mom.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
The minute I like had a real boyfriend, my mom
put me on birth control at sixteen, Oh okay, because
she was like, you're not going to have a baby
at sixteen, you know what I mean, Like she knew
it was happening.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
So so I was homeschooled till sixth grade and then
I went to public school, okay, and luckily in high
school I did get a sex education through them. Okay,
I still wasn't allowed to date technically, so I was
like secretly dating this boy for four years and we
were smart because I was paranoid, like I don't want
to get pregnant. I don't. I was more worried about
(17:55):
getting pregnant than STDs at the time, but I was
also worried.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Is the STD that sticks with you for eighteen years? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Yeah, oh that didn't want that? No good, So we
were safe, Like we use condoms for sure, because let's see,
when I was in AM I allowed to say when
I lost my virginity on here. Yeah okay, yeah, I
mean I was younger and planned parenthood was still kind
(18:24):
of around and was more prevalent before all the crap,
and so it was kind of accessible to get some
condoms here and there. So yeah, that's k smart.
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(20:04):
so let's talk about how you ended up working in
the adult industry. How did you segue from growing up Christian,
conservative family, homeschools, then porn industry.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
You know, I was kind of just working bullshit nine
to five jobs, a couple of cool jobs, but mostly
just bullshit nine to five jobs and COVID hit and
I lost. My job was working at a casino at
closed down. Long story short, I just decided to do
things that I enjoyed with my time. And I've always
been a theater kid, choir kid, loved performing arts, I
(20:41):
loved modeling. So I just started working with Instagram photographers
and models to do boudoir modeling and just do explicit nudes.
And that's how I started. So opened my Twitter and
with a couple of Within a couple of days, I
got hit up by an agent asking me if I'd
be interested doing porn. I talked with him. I thought
(21:04):
it was a scam. At first, I got the license
idea of the agency, realized it wasn't a.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Scamarm you asked for the license, I d.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
I did, wow, Okay, I was like, I'm not falling
for a scam. And I sat on it and I
was like, I don't know if I should because I
never thought about doing porn before. It was never a
thought in my head. And then I decided, maybe six
months after he had reached out to me, like okay,
I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
What made you make that decision, because that's a pretty
big decision.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I don't know. I don't know. I think that I
have lived my life a little impulsively, Okay. I'm always
interested in new adventures, doing new things, things that I
know nothing about. Sometimes I'd just like to dive in
to find out about it if I can do it
in a safe way. And I think I held off
on it because I wasn't sure if this was safe.
(21:57):
If that makes sense. Yeah, if you're a civilian and
you're in, You're like, oh, I'm gonna get sex traffic.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Like wow, that's the biggest. That's like the number one
thing I hear. It's like, oh, am I going to
get sex trafficked?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Like well, because I'd be flying from Sacramento to Vegas, right,
so I'd be going to a city that I do
nothing about. No, you're there. So I'm like, this is
a big risk for me. So I sat in it
for a while and I decided to take the leap.
I think I was just going through a lot of
things in my life and I was looking for something
(22:30):
that would fulfill me. And I decided to see if
this is what it would do.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
That and what is what is the result so far?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
So far? Yeah, it has. You know. I did three
scenes and then I left for almost a year because
I you know, chickened out. I was like, was my
family going to think of me? What are my friend's
going to think of me? Am I going to be
able to look myself in the mirror and be happy
with what I'm doing? Because once you're out there, you're
out there.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yeah, you know, like I.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Could maybe do three scenes and get away with like
you know.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Throwing disappearing into the ether.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Maybe yeah, maybe, like I'm sure it'll come up, you know.
But I had to really have that real conversation with
myself because I'm the type of person that I don't
like to hide what I'm doing. I don't like to
feel like I have to hide parts of my life
away from who I care about. And I decided to
take that leap so my family knows, everybody knows. I
(23:26):
don't hide it from anybody. I mean, maybe my uber driver, but.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Smart, you know, yeah, because it's very.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Important to me to just be genuine to the people
around me. So I took that time to really make
sure this is what I wanted to do, and I'm
very happy that I did, because I think in a way,
porn has very much saved my life.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Okay, can you elaborate on that.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
Yeah. So, Also when I was diving into porn, I
had lost my dad in twenty eighteen, and I had
lost two sisters, and then my sister two other sisters
were going through inflammatory breast cancer. One of them was
(24:11):
at stage four. And I might get teary eyed, but
it's okay. When you watch someone who's very young lose
their life and they're fighting very hard to keep every
second of it, and you've been depressed and hating life
(24:31):
and suicidal, you see how much that person wants their life,
and it makes you think, how can I sit here
I want to give my life up when that person
would do anything to spend more time with their children,
(24:51):
And you're like, Okay, I can't keep being this little
shit that's going to work smoking all day just to
numb themselves and not do anything with their life. If
I'm given this time that's being stolen from this person,
I better fucking do something with it. And that was
(25:12):
the biggest motivator for me of like, Okay, maybe porn
is not the endgame, but it can open doors to
things that I do really love, which is music, fashion, traveling,
performing arts, modeling. You know, I got to work with Hustler,
I've got to work with Penthouse, I get to sit
here with you. That's phenomenal. Like these are like I've
(25:35):
worked with Fixon now, which was huge aspiration for me.
Browsers now, Like these are huge things that I never
thought in a million years that I would be able
to do. And it took, unfortunately, those traumatic things to
realize I am wasting my life and I have to change.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I can so relate to that, and it's it's like
that's the gift that your sister gave you, you know,
and sometimes like somebody, like the death of somebody, it
can be you can take that as a gift. You
can take that horrible, devastating thing and you can turn
(26:22):
it around, and you can and you can make something
out of it, and you can turn it into like
a gift of life in a way. But you have
to decide to make to turn that thing around.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Yeah, instead of wallowing in the sorrow, Yeah, turning it
into something that you can live with. And also those
people who pass, they don't want you to be miserable, Yeah,
they want you to take that love and grief, because
grief is a beautiful thing. It's painful, but it's beautiful
and you can take it and turn it into something productive. Yeah,
(26:56):
that's what those people who pass want you to do. Yeah,
we will talk about Dix at some point.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Oh my god, I know there's been like a lot.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Of it's been a rough year, man, and like my
uncle died yesterday.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Oh my gosh, you're like the fourth person that I've
been talking to this week that someone has passed away.
It's so heavy.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
Yeah, it's like the time of year.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I don't know, I know a lot. I've talked
to a lot of people going through that. It's yeah,
it's a lot.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
It goes on, you know, and here we are.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
I think that's the weirdest part about death is accepting
that it does still go on.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
So how has your family reacted to your career? My family,
I think is just happy. I'm alive and happy at
this point. And some of them, so.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
You were really going through it? Were they concerned like
they were going to lose you?
Speaker 4 (27:55):
Oh? Meat, No, it's just that like it felt like
every year we were losing it.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Gotcha.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
So it was just like Okay, my dad passed. Then
six months six or eight months later, another sister passes,
than another another, And I think all of that bonded
us together to where like, it doesn't really matter what
you do as long as you're happy and healthy. We
just want to love each other.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
So I have some siblings who think it's really cool
what I do. I have other siblings that are like,
I wish you weren't doing that, but like love you anyways. Yeah,
And I think that's the best thing that I could
ask for.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
It's another gift that death gave you.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of strange how there's beauty in that.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
So what would you say to someone who's curious about
working and porn but feels held back by the shame
or stigma.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I think that you just have to figure out what
you're willing to accept with your own life and what
you're willing to put up with. If you can't handle
people occasionally telling you that what you're doing is wrong
and that you're terrible person, or you're a whore, or
you're detrimental to society or whatever, or if you can't
tolerate perhaps losing a few friends or a few siblings,
(29:09):
and yeah, don't do it. To be honest, don't do it.
But if you can and it's something you really love
and you want to make something of it, go for it.
Don't let anything holds you back.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
How do you deal with the online trolls and the
negative feedback that you may get.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
I'm not great at it, I'll be honest, I'm not
the best at it. I've been fortunate in my career
that I haven't dealt with too many trolls. I'll get
hateful comments here and there. I get more irritated when whoever,
like if somebody else posting something or if it I
(29:50):
just get more irritated when the poster engages with that
troll comment and continues it on. That's what bothers me
over anything, because it's like now you're leading controls, you're
feeding the trolls, and then more trolls are going to come.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
I think it's just better to delete, block and not
deal with it. Yeah, And I try to remind myself
that the more hate I get, it generally means that's
the better I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, no, absolutely, I you know, I remember, like I
collab you know on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
You can collab with people, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, So I had Adriana chut Chick on It's you know,
a huge name, huge following, and I collabed with her
on a clip from this podcast, and so obviously I
saw all the comments that she would get and.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Holy shit, they were like death, like you should.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Die, like you like I was just reading, you know,
I didn't realize like how much you know, like the
kind of vitual that she got was shocking to me.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
And she's such a nice person. She's just out there
like living her life like you know, sucking dick.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Like having fun second dick and having fun like let
the girl like do what she wants, Like what is
she doing to you exactly?
Speaker 4 (31:10):
It was just.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
It was like you wouldn't say that to her if
she was sitting in front of you.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
No, you definitely wouldn't.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
No. Yeah, it was just crazy.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
And you know that's when I kind of realized like
how much you know, somebody's you know, more popular porn
stars get and just kind of give me like a
newfound respect for what they have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Yeah, it happened to me very Actually, this week a
different podcast was on was released and the comment section
was just horrendous. It was the I think this is
maybe like the third podcast so I've done maybe, so
like outside of like pro shoots or me posting my
own things, I don't really deal with other people's fan
(31:51):
bases or their comments. But with this one it was
so bad. It was like every other comment was horrible,
and it wasn't about what I was saying, because I
understand it was about what I'm saying, but it was
like it was mostly just about my eye was really
what it was about. I'm like, okay, I just pick
us something a little more clever than something right on
(32:14):
my face.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
But was it a podcast that isn't like usually about
the adult industry.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
No, it usually is.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Because sometimes, like when you go, I have found when
I've done podcasts that are not like about the adult industry,
and so it goes to another audience that is not
generally engaged in adult They're just like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
What is this cheat on the camera?
Speaker 4 (32:39):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
That's where I get the most money hate. Don't get
me wrong, I have plenty of hate on my YouTube channel.
You will probably get negative comments on my YouTube channel,
like I there's gonna be right.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
They're gonna be there.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
See. I think it was from Facebook, because I know
I'm never on Facebook with that, and I think because
they posted on Facebook and then it like pulled in these.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I we post on Facebook too. I gotta tell you,
I don't ever read them, so I don't know what's
on there. But yeah, face, yeah, Facebook is pretty I
think it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
I stopped going on there after.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Like, yeah, don't read the comments.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah, I just don't try not too.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
That's my that's my advice.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Lesson learned this week.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
What are your favorite fetishes or fantasies to play out
on camera?
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I feel like I'm a very boring porn star because
I don't have like a direct fetish that I'm crazy about.
I just really like crimal, passionate sex, Like I love
a hand of my throat, in my hair and just
looking at each other's eyes and just really going at it,
(33:50):
which I don't know what you would call that fetish,
but that's just what I love. Like, I just love
to feel that that person really wants to be there
and just going along with just having fun.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I just like that. You just love like passion and intimacy. Yeah, yeah,
that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I get that any particular kinds of shoots that you like, Like,
do you prefer gonzo or features?
Speaker 4 (34:13):
Oh? I like features? I do.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Do you like the acting?
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I do. I'm a big theater kid, right, so I
like long days on set. It doesn't bother me as
long as we're doing stuff. I could be there twelve hours, happy,
no problem. I just love the creative drive behind features,
the energy of a there's so much excitement between the
actors the crew. I love the camaraderie between being on
(34:41):
set with those same people, like for four days. It's
a lot of fun. Yeah, and I love seeing the
creativity flowing.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
That's a great thing about working in porn versus working
in mainstream is that because we're such a small industry
and we work so frequently, generally directors have like their
same crew members that they work with all the time,
so it's kind of like it really is like a family.
Like you'll see the same people over and over and
over again, so you kind of end up bonding like
(35:11):
with the crew members and it feels very familiar, and
it feels and eventually you get to know everyone, whereas
the mainstream usually that you are like as a director
or you know, in production or makeup or whatever. You
generally like, it's such a big industry. You're rotating and
you're getting paired with different You're very rarely working with
(35:34):
like the same crew, you know, maybe like some key
people depending on.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Where you're at.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
What.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah, Like, I mean if you're a Spielberg, obviously, like
you get to like have your DP and like all
those key people. But if you're working in general mainstream,
like you know, day to day, you're working with like
people you've never met before.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
I forget that TP means something totally different. Yeah, means
stream like DP. Why would they be doing that? Oh?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Wait, ATM also means automated teller machine as well, just
so you.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Know, so when I see that will make more sense. Ly,
tractor of photography. I love those little things, like we.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
What Yeah, I know, I know, right, but yeah, that
is like that is a nice thing. So what of
all of the features that you have done so far,
do you have a favorite.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Oh, I mean I'm partial to my showcase. Okay, for sure,
I have a bias to my showcase. Right now, I've
done so many cool projects it's hard to pick one.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
I Well, before you go into that.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Tell us about your showcase, because maybe somebody's watching this
and they're like.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Chess a showcase. I want to see it? Do you
tell us about it?
Speaker 4 (36:41):
It's called The Red Door, okay, and you'll find it
an elegant angel. It was released, I believe in December,
and it's I'm so excited to talk about it because
you'll see the theater kid me coming out with that one,
because it's kind of a Mulon rouge, but like modern
(37:03):
kind of version kind of that's brad it was. I
love a good Mulon rouge, like art direction.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I'm so into that.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I've done some stuff like that, and those are like
my favorite.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
I love it, yeah, because I love burlesque. I love
like Western saloon girls. I love the nineteen twenty show girls.
So I kind of like merged all these kind of
styles together to create like not a time piece, because
it's not exactly a time piece, but it's like a
modernized version of a time piece to bring it kind
(37:38):
of back between like the eighteen to the nineteen hundreds
a little bit hm with some of the two thousands flair,
of course, and it's about this theater owner who during
the day, it is like a regular theater, and then
she starts exploring her sexuality and starts making these sexual
fantasies come to life until it turns into a sex
(38:00):
at night, which is really awesome because the finale scene
I'm gonna I'm getting ahead of myself. There's four scenes.
The first scene is me with two of my regular
patrons after the show, the regular show. Two guys, two guys,
mister Charles Darra and mister Van Wild. Very good scene.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
We love those, We love both of them.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
Great guys. Oh the cast is so chef's kiss so good,
so good. I'm so excited about every part of this.
And then the second scene, I invite like this couple
I used to work with at the old theater I
was at, you know, Nathan Bronson and the beautiful Nicole
Kit Nice. Such a good scene. It was my first
time with Nicole Kit and the chemistry so beautiful, Yeah,
(38:46):
so gorgeous. I met her on a different set and
we just had good chemistry. We didn't work together, but
we met and I was like, I need her in
my showcase.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I feel Liken Cole and I talked about her coming
on this Podcastle col Cool I.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Don't know why I'm blaming it on her. I probably
have balzer. I'm the one who needs to up.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Sorry, I got to get her in here. That was
a beautiful scene. And then the third scene, which I loved.
I was really excited about this because I did kind
of a gender bender kind of thing. So it's the
all girls scene with Scarlett, Alexis and Giselle Blanco. Gorgeous ladies.
(39:28):
I found them these really beautiful beaded They're technically a
belly dancer outfit, but it looks more showgirl and we
made it in like nineteen twenty show girl. And then
I'm in all black lingerie with a TuS jacket on
and as top e, so I have because my idea
was to make them feel stunning and beautiful and hot
(39:50):
and sexy and wanting to be there, and I wanted
to kind of be like the masculine energy that makes
them stand out was my idea, and it just out
so beautifully. I do wear a strap on, so it's
a fun scene. And then the finale was so cool.
I did my first three guys as I hadn't done
(40:12):
that before, and they allowed me to do that for
my showcase and there was a live audience. Oh wow, yeah,
which is so cool. It was a lot of starting
out models of belief from one oh one and they're
all watching and I just want to give a shout
out to them as well, because they were all day.
They were there all day on set for like ten
hours with me before we finally had the sex scene.
(40:35):
And it was so cool to have like fifteen of
my peers really sitting there watching me take my first
three men. Yeah, that was really cool. Who were the guys?
Oh yeah, I gotta say that. The guys are Kyle Mason,
Isaiah Maxwell, and Vince Carter.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yeah, nice, that's awesome. And you did you style all
of the clothes?
Speaker 4 (40:58):
I did with the help of PILLI. She helped me
with it, but I had kind of already had a
lot of it from my wardrobe already.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Because you have a great sense of style, like every time,
Like i mean your outfit on the av and red carpet,
I'd like still like it, like burned in my mind.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
It was such a rat outfit. I mean, you've got
a great sense of style.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Thank you. I love fashion so much. It's something thank you.
I want to dive into it. For sure. But yeah,
I had a lot of pieces in my closet and
then I scoured the internet for what I wanted because
I'm a very particular person when it comes to fashion,
and I wanted it to not look cost to me.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
My biggest thing is it can't look cost to me.
I don't like cheesy costume things. I think that she
didn't order anything, Yandy, No, no, Muiltily. I did get
some Amazon things, but you can't sell it's you say it.
Maybe the white tux a little, but like.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Sometimes Amazon comes out with some pretty like amazing stuff.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
I got really good stuff. Yeah, yeah, I did, with
a little help of Pilly. I wrote the voiceover. I
wrote the concept of it as well, and had a
hand and casting. I really had a hand in a
lot of it. But ow with mad creativity, he really
(42:17):
took my concept and brought it to life. So I
got to give him a lot of credit for just
how beautifully well done it is.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
I mean it's all about your crew, right, Like you
need good people around you to bring that vision to life.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
You said in an interview last year that you really
wanted to start shooting scenes with trans performers have you
been able to do that yet.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
Yes, I have one scene. I would love to have more.
I got to work with the beautiful Emma Rose.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Oh my god, she's so stunning.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
She's so gorgeous. Yeah, I was very fortunate. We had
a lot of chemistry. It was like a panty sniffing
fetish thing, so we're just like eating each other's panties
before we eat each other. And I had a lot
of fun.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Yeah, so beautiful, She's great, So beautiful.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
How is working in porn affected your sex drive?
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Porn has affected my sex drive for sure. It really
depends on how many scenes I'm doing in a month.
Let's you know, I am not that sexual anymore outside
of work, just because I kind of get that fulfillment
on set, so I'm not super horny outside of work.
But it is also opened up my sexuality because I
(43:30):
came into the industry maybe having fucked seven to ten people,
and I wanted to use the industry as a way
to explore my sexuality. So as much as it's like
made me content sexually, it's also opened my sexuality up,
which is great.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
How's dating for you being in the adult industry? Is
it hard? Are you even trying.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
I've been with the same man for three years. Oh okay, yeah,
so not too hard, not too hard. Yeah. I use
in the industry, which makes it easier.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. So he understand the difference
between like love.
Speaker 4 (44:08):
And sex, Yes, definitely.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Yeah, that can be a hard distinction for a lot
of people. What do you like to do to unwind
after a long day set?
Speaker 4 (44:18):
I sit in my uber and decompress, where like the
thirty minutes it takes me to get back to my place,
and then I smoke a joint and I might just
like scroll aimlessly, or I'll watch something, but usually just
a joint and some peace are quiet, and then I
get perked back up and then I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
How are you managing work life balance? Do you struggle
with that? Do you struggle with taking time off, taking
time for yourself versus like nose to the grindstone working
all the time?
Speaker 4 (44:52):
I do. I very much a nose to the grindstone.
I like to work. I think I have a problem
with like letting my brain wander, like if I have
something to do, then you know, I'm happy. I've maybe
had four or five days at home since the beginning
of March because I've been just constantly traveling, working, flying around.
(45:14):
I'm not great at balancing it, but I know that
it's very important for me to figure out how to
do that, and hopefully I'll have a better answer next time. No.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
I mean that's a great, honest answer, because I got
to tell you, like I, Yeah, I am not good
at it either.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
And I'm forty six.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
Yeah. I love it very hard. Yeah, it is hard. Yeah,
but I enjoy working I do. It's something I'm passionate about.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
I realized the take after my dad. I'm like, Oh,
I become my dad, haven't I happens to us all
we turn into our parents.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
Yeah, well 'tavia.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Thank you so much for coming on. It's been such
a pleasure getting to know you. Can you tell everyone
where they can find you online?
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Please?
Speaker 4 (45:57):
Yes, you can find me on Instagram at x dot
red Clouds, or you can find me on Twitter at
Octavia x read and you can find the link to
all the other fun sites if you just go to
either of those pages.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Fantastic, and we are going to do a little Q
and A with miss Octavia. My Patreon members sent in questions.
You can get that at Patreon dot com, slash Holly
Randall and filtered, where you can also get access to
the entire uncensored version of this interview. I've had to
make modifications on some of my videos here on YouTube
(46:35):
because I got a little slap on the wrist for
being too uncensored.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Just put it that way.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
You can also find me on Instagram and on x
at Holly Randall. Go to hollylinks dot com to get
access to all of my platforms. Go to xweek dot
io to get early access to the next generation creator platform,
where immersive tech will bring creators and fans together in
(47:03):
a way that has never been done before. Thank you
guys so much for watching, and I will see you
on the next one.
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