May 21, 2025 • 47 mins
Ever heard of ABDL? No? Meet Penny Barber, latex-loving, diaper-wielding (you’ll wanna know more about this, just wait and listen), award-winning MILF who took home the 2025 XBiz MILF Performer of the Year and has a mind sharp enough to roast both your kink shame and your creationist upbringing. Her story kicks off with getting booted from one private school after another before rebelling against her fundamentalist parents by diving into biological anthropology- only to find academia crawling with the same backstabbing politics that crushed her idealism. Instead of folding, Penny flipped the script and built a life where she calls all the shots. We dive into her most brutal scene ever (think copper floor, electrodes, and zero safe words- BUT that story we can only tell in our Patreon version), why ABDL is way more about power than age, and how humiliation, ritual and control became her personal playground. Along the way, Penny shares how she broke free from religious manipulation, the academic snake pit that shattered her faith in science, and what porn insiders know that the rest of the world keeps missing. Can’t get enough? Unlock the uncensored version, plus an exclusive, uncensored Q&A heat with Penny Barber and plenty of VIP perks waiting just for you on Patreon! ________________________________________________________
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BlueChew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra -- but in CHEWABLE tablets and at a fraction of the cost! Try BlueChew for FREE, just pay $5 in shipping when you use code HOLLY at https://bluechew.com/ Ready to score some exclusive deals? Head over to https://linktr.ee/HollyAds and treat yourself — because who doesn’t love a little VIP hookup? ________________________________________________________
Craving more from the podcast? Join my Patreon for exclusive perks like live interview streams, early releases, and a backstage pass to all the fun. Come hang with us at http://Patreon.com/hollyrandallunfiltered
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/holly-randall-unfiltered--6630320/support.
Watch the uncut/uncenored versions with bonus Q&As exclusively on Patreon.https://www.patreon.com/c/hollyrandallunfiltered
Find me on all social media platforms - HollyLinks.com
Hit up linktr.ee/HollyAds for exclusive deals, spicy discounts, and perks so good your wallet might blush.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. I just
want to give a shout out to my sponsors at
Blue Chew. Thank you so much for sponsoring my podcast.
And if you guys want to up your game in
the bedroom, go to blue choo dot com. Try your
first month for free, use code Holly and pay only
(00:45):
five dollars in shipping. All right, So, my guest today
has spent over two decades mastering the art of melf
and mommy domming, exploring kink, and challenging stigmas in the
adult industry. She is a performer, director and the twenty
four AVN Milk Performer of the Year, and this year
she won ex Business Milk Performer of the Year.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Welcome Penny Barber. Hello, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
I'm doing pretty good? Yeah, how are you?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It only took me like five tries to get that
intro right. But everybody who is watching right now is
watching the edited version, and they will never know how
many times I fucked up, except I just admitted it.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
But that's Okay, you did. You told on yourself.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I did tell on myself.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
But you know what I gotta be. I got to
make mistakes every once in a while.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
She did it. You pulled through, you.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Know, Otherwise people will think I'm like super human. We
can't have that.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
It's a many a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
So Penny, let's start at the beginning, as we always
do with our guests, all the way back to two
thousand and three.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Is that right?
Speaker 4 (01:53):
That is right?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, that's right, that's okay. I started before then, So
you're good. I've been in longer than you.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I'm usually the longest one. Usually it's me.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, I beat you, I beat you. How many years?
How long have you been in the industry specifically?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Yeah, since two thousand and three, and it's twenty twenty five,
for like twenty two years.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Okay, I'm twenty six years. I beat you. I win win.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I choose not to acknowledge it not.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So how did you first get in, Jude?
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I was eighteen and I needed money. It was the
oldest time that tracks. Yeah, I was eighteen, I needed money,
and you know, it was a different era. I don't
do this now, don't do this. But yeah, I was
like answering Craigslist ads and you know, but it was
it was a different time back then. There were some
legitimate companies on there. That's how I found kink dot
(02:42):
com and a bunch of other creepy dudes.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, did you have any creepy dude stories from craigslast?
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Actually they were all like really really nice to me.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
That's great. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
And you know, I'm saying creepy dudes just because like
kind of like that's what people think. But they were
really nice. They're really polite. I never had any problems,
was any of them grabbing me or even saying anything
weird to me? And I guess, I guess I got lucky. Yeah,
I guess I got lucky. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, there's definitely some bad actors out there, but it
sounds like you you got the good ones. So tell
me about your first scene, Like, what was the first
craig lace ad that you answered you went to, and
what was it.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Like one of the first Craigslist dudes. I don't think
he was the very first, but it was this dude
in his thirties, a single guy, and you know, he
just wanted to tie up a lady and take pictures.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, And so I went over to his beautiful house
in San Francisco and he tied me up and took
photos and I was like fully clothed, and he paid
me well and tipped me. The only thing was he
had these two little French bulldogs, and you know, he
told me be careful with your things because they'll they'll
eat it, you know. And I was like, sure, I
(04:02):
left my glasses on the floor and his dogs ate
my glasses. But the guy bought me some new ones
and he's like really sweet about it, and he had
his very like avuncular energy. He was just really nice
to me. So, yeah, I had.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
The worst thing that happened was his dogs ate your glasses.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah, and he paid for it and didn't like I
didn't even have to ask. He was like, oh, of course,
and like he told me not to, I did it anyway.
But he was just like, oh, this little eighteen year old,
I'll take you know, I'll take care of it.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Oh that's really nice.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
He's just a chill guy. Some a few times, he's
very nice.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, so you've done a few like adult related scenes shoots.
How are you feeling about like working an adult, Like
are you thinking, Okay, this is a career that I'm
going path that I'm going to follow, or are you still
just thinking like I'm just figuring out ways to get
money and I'm thinking about doing something else with my life.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
At the time, I really wanted to go to school
for biological anthropology to really piss off my fundamentalist parents.
And if I thought that was going to change them off,
just wait. And so I started going on digs and whatnot,
and I did not like the politics and just how
(05:10):
manipulative people are, like like I don't for example, recently,
if you watch the Netflix documentary on like Homonnaletti and
then you go back and you like actually read the
papers on it, a lot of it is very deceptive.
It's okay if you don't know what the fuck I'm
talking about, but for the people who do, there's just
a lot of everybody wants to make like the new
(05:30):
big discovery, and I think that it gets in the
way of good science. And I was just seeing more
and more of that and that it was all politics
and the people who were getting the grants were the
ones who, like you know, glad handed in the right way.
And to a little eighteen year old me, that was
very disheartening. You know, I had been to Christian fundamental
schools all my life and I thought, oh, science is
(05:50):
like discovery of truth and we're going to find the
origins of humanity. And then finding out that it's just
another business was very depressing to me. Wow. But I
liked getting fucked. That was great. So oh my god.
I mean I made a choice.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
And you found porn to be like a more honest job.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I mean yeah, I mean I don't want to be
like still like, you know, oh prissy about it or
anything like I was only pursuing pleasure and money, let's
be honest. But yeah, I was kind of grossed out
by academia. And I do think that academia is very
broken right now. Not that I'm qualified to talk about
(06:36):
that really, but that's why I decided to stop pursuing
it and just in a very nihilistic way, enjoy what
time I had on this earth and make some money.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
You know what, It's interesting that you say that because
I wholeheartedly agree, and I have seen this a lot,
and I tell people this all the time, and you know,
my experience. You know, I started working in like the
tech world, and I've seen you know, venture capitalism, and
I've seen like a lot of other you know, side
(07:11):
businesses that I wasn't really exposed to before, and it
has just reinforced my belief that like porn is kind
of like a very honest business. I know that's the
last thing that people would think. Yeah, but it's true.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
I mean not not always, but it's better than the
I mean it's not perfect, no, I think nothing, it
is better.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, why do you think that is? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
We just were so busy, like actually getting fucked that
we don't try to fuck each other.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I don't know why it is. I think it's just well,
first of all, like you know, when people find out
about things like like if you're into tech, like planned obsolescence,
that that seems like evil to me, Like that sounds
like like higher horrible, like it should be illegal and
you're under such scrutiny. I guess with porn, you know,
like if like, of course they happen and people do
bad things, but you know, it's much more pinned on
(08:05):
the individual and people talk about it and we're not
really worried about being blacklisted in the same way that
I might be like a tech company, you know, like
you can always just go do something else important. As
I'm guessing, I'm speculating, I don't know. What do you think?
What do you think it is?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I think, first of all, there's a lot less red
tape around things, right, so you don't have to get
the grants and do all of this master manipulation to
get the funding to do the things that you want.
It's a lot easier to get things done. And everybody's
kind of like an independent contractor and an entrepreneur actually,
(08:48):
like a small business owner really, and especially with the
advent of like OnlyFans really where people are financially independent
and they can like pursue their own ideas and creativity.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
And don't get insurance but I get only fans.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But like it's leveled the playing field a lot now
where people can kind of and it's given so much
more power to the creators. It was not like, I mean,
the adult industry is a much healthier place to work
and now than it was before.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
And you've been around, so you know, I got lucky.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Nothing ever really happened to me. But I hear the stories,
you know, and I would see it and oh, you know, so.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, I mean I think that there's something about that.
And maybe it's because we are kind of like the
black sheep of the entertainment industry. And I think it's
also too it attracts these kind of like free free
free thinking, like kind of like.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I don't want to say, you don't want to you
don't want to be restricted. Yeah, yeah, there's there's like,
oh god, I was just watching this thing and they
were talking about how Hollywood will take a good story
about a bad girl and turn it into a bad
story about a good girl, and we don't have to
do that doing No, I'm starting to get involved more
in directing and doing things for corporations, and even that
(10:09):
degree of control is something I'm not used to. So
like I very much. I like being able to do
whatever whatever I want. I'm not a hippie, but yeah,
I get it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
You mean, yeah, I mean, there's just like there's a
there's a certain freedom to people who are willing to
throw all of that propriety to the wind and are
willing to face the stigma that comes along with working
in porn and are willing to just be like fuck it,
I'm going to do whatever I want and like follow
(10:40):
you know, my own desires and will and not conform.
They're very nonconformists, yes, and I think there's a lot
to that. There is, you know, And it's also.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Full of artists, Yes, there's very much.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
So so I think there's there's a lot to that.
And it's a small industry, and it's a small insular industry.
And if you burn bridges and you fuck people over,
it's hard, yeah, to get past that.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
People know who did it? Like it's you, Like, you know,
I don't know who the I mean maybe I could
Google or something. I don't know who the fuck came
up with planned obsolescence.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
But yeah, yeah, it's big.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
It's a big company. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Exactly exactly, So I think I think that probably has
a lot to do with.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
It personal responsibility and creativity.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah the same time, Yeah, exactly what was your life
like before you got into porn? I mean, I I
was a child, but I mean fundamentalist parents. It sounds
like you grew up in a religious household.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Oh yeah, yeah, I went to just like these private
schools that would keep kicking me out for various reasons. Yeah,
it was. It was very very Christian. I was. I
was very very innocent, constantly told that like the outside
world was really really really evil, and I mean, I
guess it is, but it's it's not as bad as
(11:53):
I was told. And what else did I do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I was.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
I had just you know, turned eighteen, and I didn't
really want to talk to my parents anymore, and they
were trying really hard to control me with money, but
I wanted to live like a little punk gutter rat,
so that didn't work very well for them. I think
that I think that my siblings are still financially dependent
(12:18):
on my parents, which is kind of Yeah, if that's
how you are, that's that's fine, but it's not for me.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Are you so close to your family?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
No? No, My mother's mother is terrifying. She's like this
master manipulator and like she can get you to do things,
and so the only way to kind of escape that
is to stay away from her because she's scary. Like
every time I talk to her just at all, she'll
(12:48):
she'll end up taking something from me.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And yeah, that must have been a hard conclusion to
come to. I mean, I know people like that who've
like struggled with family dynamics and and just like constantly
tried to make it work and then finally came to
this conclusion of like, you know what, it's just kind.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Of I just I don't think she liked me very much,
you know, and I think part of it was like
I wasn't very easy to control that way, like my
siblings are kind of more easy to control with money,
and yeah, I don't know, Like I every now and then,
like I'll kind of like think about her or like
(13:26):
my dad or something, but or like'll they'll try to
get in contact with me, like my mother will every
few years like send me this really half assed little apology,
you know, like a little letter or something. It just
says I'm sorry, and I'm just like, oh she wants something,
Oh she wants something.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Yeah, So yeah, I don't really and you know, I
kind of feel bad about my siblings, but I'm just
like they're adults. I can't yeah, you know, I can't
pursue that.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
So tell me about your early life in porn, Like
what kind of scenes were you doing and what was
your early experience like.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Rock and roll? Yeah, it was just so it used
to be different. Up in San Francisco, everyone had their
own little website or at the very least a little
Clips for Sale store.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Clips for Sale.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Hey, well, you could find any fetish that ever existed.
Just go and search the categories there and you'd be like, Wow,
there's a hair washing fetish.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Okay, oh I've done that. I did a hair washing
video one time back in the day, and they were like,
do it for as long as you possibly can, like,
you know, if you think it's too long, keep going.
And I washed my hair for forty five minutes and
had quite a lovely time. And then finally they were like,
please stop. We know we told you to go as
long as you can, but like and I was ready
(14:47):
to keep going. I was like, this is actually really
like it was actually kind of sensual. I kind of
liked it. Yeah, but yeah. So I was just working
for for everybody's little, little, tiny companies, and then kink
dot Com started kind of like poaching all these people
and sort of like sucked them up. And at first
people would be like, oh, I'm still going to run
my site, but there wasn't really time for them to
(15:07):
work full time for Kink and also do their own thing.
So then I started working pretty much exclusively for Kink,
and then to kind of fill in the gaps, I
started my own Clips for Sale. It was so bad.
It was so bad, Holly, it was terrible.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I tried clips for Sales site, and I found that
an incredibly difficult website really to work with, just like
I couldn't figure it out, like the interface into like
sell stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It was like very complicated.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I think also because I didn't really do fetish much,
it didn't really like work for me.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, I think it has to be like a weird niche.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Yeah, and it wasn't me, Like I wasn't a model.
I was like a photographer.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
So it's like I can see really like but yeah,
I used to my my ex boyfriend with whom i'm
still close, Sam Solo, he first started it and he
was like doing it was when all these other like
clip Clinic and clip this and clip that, we're trying
to compete with it, And he was like, why don't
you use these other websites? The interface is so much better.
I'm like, because Clips for Sale has the traffic. Yeah,
so even they had they had this really like weirdly
even back then antiquated like abstruse interface. You know, it
(16:11):
was where the money was and I still have it
and it is it is doing quite it does great.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
It does.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
It's like a third of my income.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
I know, freaking clips for sale lasts in the past.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
They changed their interface though, right, didn't they update it.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Maybe a little? Yeah, really it's very similar. It's like
so hard to change your stuff too. You have to
like email them and like it's yeah, fun. Yes, I
wish they would update it. But also they've been they've
been very supportive of me through well.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I mean like if it's ain't broke, which sounds like
it's sort of is, don't fix it.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I don't know, it could be improved. But also I'm grateful.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, okay, so you were doing you were selling stuff
on clips for Sale, Like what kind of videos did
you have, like more popular niche type videos that you
were selling.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Yeah, I was doing the A b DL stuff. What
the Oh you don't know, but some people may not know.
Some people don't know. Okay, adults Baby Diaper Lover, which
is like an age plaything. It's like, yeah, do you want.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Me to Yeah, there are there educate our audience not
everybody knows what these things are.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
People are always like what, and I'm like, you know what,
I understand, Like when people say, don't knock it till
you've tried it, like you don't have to try everything,
but it can be quite fun. Okay, Like the taboo
stuff is like wildly popular. So it's just like combining
that with like plastic fetishism and p and these really
(17:43):
fundamental DS dynamics. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like I'm not
really super into the age play side of it. I'm
more into like the femdom side of it. Like you know,
your boyfriend cheated on you or something, so You're just like, well,
I'm going to make sure no girls want you. You know,
you go to the club and your your pants are
all puffy and crinkling. You think you're going to pick
(18:03):
some girl up, you know. I like doing that type
type of ABDL play. And I you know, I'm a
latex fetishist, so I like the plastic fetish and I'm
into water sports, so I like the pee, and obviously
I like the mommy thing.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
So now the latex, so I love latex. I love
the way it looks beautiful.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
It is such a pain in theastic get on and
it is so hot and like uncomfortable to wear, but
you but you love it like so tell us like
because I know some people love like even just the
process of putting it on and the smell of it
and and all of that is like what about latex
and peels?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
See, the only thing I don't like about latex is
that I'm worried it's gonna ripa like I always have
like very short yes, little nails, a short nails. Other
reasons as well, but it helps a lot with the
latex to have short little nails. So latex amplifies temperatures,
so if it's cold, you're gonna be really really cold,
and if you're hot, you're gonna be really really hot,
so like the temperature has to be like perfect. But yeah,
(19:06):
I just I like the tightness of it. I like
the kind of like futuristic feel of it. It's just
it's very clean feeling. To me. I like having like
a barrier between myself. But also it amplifies touch. So
if you're wearing it and someone's like running their fingers
over you, kind of not their nails, but their their
fingers like this over you, or a toy or something.
(19:28):
You know, you can snap it, so it's very pleasing
to the censorium. And it smells good, it's shiny. But yeah,
I know what you mean. I used to say, Oh,
I like latex on other people, but now I've started
to enjoy wearing it as well. Yeah, in the past
decade or so, yeah, just these last few ten years.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
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Speaker 4 (20:02):
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Speaker 2 (20:12):
So I just want to explore the age play stuff
a little bit more. Abdal what is it again?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Adult baby diaper lover lover got it?
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Okay? So I mean you pretty much like wrote the
book on it.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Yeah, I wrote two books on it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
That's amazing. What do you think is the kink with that? Like?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Why do you think what it is about wearing diapers
that turns people on?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I like that it's humiliating. I like the embarrassment. Like
that feeling of embarrassment feels very sexual to me. And
I mean I wasn't really like into it before, like
like my first husband was into it, you know. That's
how I kind of at first I was like what,
and then I started doing it. I was like, Oh,
I like this, Yeah, it's it's really for me about
(21:01):
the embarrassment and like the discipline and like just like
the protocol of everything. I know, like people think it's
like it's it's dirty, but for me, like everything is
very very clean, you know, like you have these very
clean smells. You know, everything it's like wiped down, you know,
you have like bath time and all a lot of
the rituals are about cleaning and like you know, regimenting
(21:22):
your behavior. And yeah, I just I love the control.
Like I can't think of anything else. Maybe old guard
leather comes close to it, but there's there's just nothing
else really like wow.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And then what do you think it is about people?
Like the people that wear the diapers? What do you
think it is about that that they enjoy? Like have
they told you why they're into that kink?
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah? I mean I know I'm into it. I like
the you've never you haven't really I don't know what
I'm allowed to say.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
You can do whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Okay, you've never have you ever peeden one? You've never
peeden a diaper? Have you?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (21:58):
You're like not for a while, no, okay, all right, yeah,
so when when when you do, it's just everything it
like expands, like and because it's on you tightly, when
it expands, the desicon sort of expands into your pussy
in a way, and it's like this warmly. So it's
(22:18):
it feels good.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
You know.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
I don't defecating them, it's just not my thing. Yeah,
I've tried it. I do not like it. But the pea,
it's it's just this warm, wet liquid that that feels
very good, and but also that's fleeting, like it gets
cold really really quickly, and then it is uncomfortable. Yeah,
(22:41):
and you know, it's embarrassing and it's like a focus
on your genitals that like you know, and it crinkles
and it squishes and so it's it's embarrassing, and you've
got that plastic fetishism thing and like there's the smell
of it of the plastic and pea, and it's just
like very overwhelming. It's reduct it's humiliating and yeah, and
(23:05):
just just like the the kinkiness of it, like fetish
them and like the kinkiness of it, like there is
no reason for me to be wearing this thing other
than this like kind of high hie. Yeah, yes, I'm thing.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
So I actually I'm gonna admit that I didn't realize
that you also wear them. I thought that you only
like played the dominant like mommy role with boys.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
With men who wear them. No, but you wear them.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
But do you also do the opposite to where like
you have men who wear them and then you both okay,
I'm a switch. Yeah, okay, got you got youa Okay.
So for the men who like to wear them, do
you think that it's like I guess this really like
leans more into like the mommy dommy role just in general.
(23:56):
Why do you think that men enjoy that so much?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Is it like probably all this same reasons that I
just mentioned. You know, you can make them like because
when they went into it, it kind of creates like
this little and you can make them like fuck their
own diaper and it's it's wet and you're like, you'd
better do it fast before it gets cold, you know,
Just so it's very.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
They actually fuck their own diapers yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Like they can just like fuck it, and like I
can pull it open and I can pee in it
and then make them fuck or like, there's all kinds
of things you can do. I can just like sometimes
I'll just like or I'll like put a bunch of
ice cubes in it and like wait for it to
You can do all kinds of things, you know, there's
a lot of Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You know, like that's why I honestly like didn't know
that there was like so many things that that this
was such a multifaceted, oh experience.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Yeah, it's there's they got a lot of stuff you
can do.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Wow, that's really cool.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
There's like a book called like one hundred and one
Diaper Punishments or something. I wish I could remember the
name of the lady who wrote it.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff that you can do.
And it's one of the things I like to do
for public humiliation is when I would do more of
it long di since I would have a guy put
one on pee in it, and then he had to
go out to a bar or something or a club
while wearing it, and he could not leave until he
got a woman's phone number and it's hard for them
(25:12):
to do.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
It's hard for them to do without.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
It's hard to do without it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
But yeah, you can just like make him do stuff
like that.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I see.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I always thought it was just like, you know, a
guy in a diaper and then there's a woman telling
him like he's a bad boy, and like maybe feeds
in baby food and like spanks them or something. I
didn't realize like there was so much to it. Yeah,
one hundred and one way. I mean, someone could write
a book about one hundred and one ways.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Oh easy.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Yeah, that's amazing. Wow, that's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
If someone is curious about ABDL but nervous to explore it,
where would you suggest it?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
They start?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Well, I mean obviously it's up to the individual. It's like, well,
why are you nervous to explore it? Like, are you
worried that you were partners not going to be into it? Because,
to be honest, they're probably not going to be.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
So if if you're worried about your partner judging you
and leaving you over it, yeah, that happens. You know.
There's no magic thing that you can do to make
your partner take it well, and they probably won't but
if you just want to do it on your own,
just want to do it on your own, I suggest
you got a pamperedpenny dot com, pull out that credit
(26:27):
card and you know that. I mean, got you know
one of the They have so many different ABDL diapers
like specifically made for this nowadays. I think that different
people discovered that they could get the manufactured with their
own U unique designs in China pretty easily. Uh so
they're they're all over Amazon. You know, all of this
(26:49):
gear and like onesies and like special bondage gear and
you know callers and fucking diaper harnesses that you know,
force you to wear it in locking plastic pants. It's
all over Amazon. So I would just like spend an
evening maybe you know, you pour yourself a glass of
wine or put a put a glass of wine into
a sippy cup, and go on Amazon and make yourself
(27:11):
a little wish list and then watch some of my videos.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Where are there's got to be like groups of people
like that do this, because like it's got to be
it's a very specific niche.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I have found them to be low quality.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
I mean, I wouldn't I wouldn't ask you to like
publicly give out those lists because you're gonna get a
lot of like luky lose to go in there. But
if one was serious about it, they could probably eventually.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
I'm pretty serious about it.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah, But what I'm saying like, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
That time has kind of passed, Like I every few years,
like like maybe a couple of years ago, I tried
again to get into the local age play community and
it just wasn't great. We used to have a thing
but back in the day, Back in the day, we
used to have a thing called Little Scouts, which you
could start one now if you want to. But it
(28:01):
was just like you know, age players. We'd meet like
once a month and you could like meet other people
who were into it, and like we would do like
community service things like at the leather conventions and stuff,
and like we would have like a tent at Pride
and you know, do things like that, do fundraisers. We
were trying to start a leather title contest, which I
used to be a judge for. But yeah, I I
(28:23):
feel like, especially since the pandemic, it's gotten worse where
everything is just so shut down and you know, the
gen z ers, I guess don't want to go out.
But also the millennials aren't really doing anything either, so yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry,
that's my honest opinion. I wish it could be more positive.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, what do you think are some common misconceptions about ABDAL?
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I think that commonly people don't know what the what
it is.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Yeah, I didn't know what it was until you said
it too.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
The misconception we they don't know that it exists. Yeah,
I guess, I don't know. Maybe they think you're like
a a pedophile or something, but it's just like you know,
like with the taboo stuff, like it's it's not fucking real, Like, yeah,
it's it's just not real. And that's very easy to
confirm that it's not real, because like if you do
(29:15):
go to a munch, or if you do read a
story or anything like that, you just kind of look around.
It's like everyone here is like in their thirties or
forties or whatever, you know. So yeah, I feel like
it's pretty easily demunked.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
What are some of the kinks or fetishes that are
on your no list?
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Mmm, Like I said, I've tried some scat stuff and
I just didn't enjoy it, So I'm not really interested
in that stuff that I The list of things that
Penny Baba won't do is very short. I don't do
a lot of suspension bondage anymore because you know, I'm
(29:51):
getting older.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Yeah, well, maybe this can lead into some stories about
some of your crazier.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Crazier do you see an opening?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Yeah, okay, I'll tell you. I'll tell you about that.
One my most intense shoot to date. And I've heard
other people have stories that are way worse than this one.
But this is my hardest shoot that I have ever done.
It was for insects and you can buy it, you
can watch it. Back in the day, I was maybe
(30:26):
I don't even think I was thirty yet. I was
pretty young. But the theme of the shoot was that
they had like one thousand dollars in this little safe,
like a little lock box, and they were trying to
get me to tell them the code. And if I
(30:49):
didn't tell them the code, if I held out and
didn't use my safe word and tell them tell them
the code, then I could keep the money in there.
And again I was very young. I was a new mother,
and I hadn't been working very much because I just
had a baby, and so I was like I'm gonna
hold out. I'm gonna hold out for this. I'm not
gonna I'm not gonna give it to them. And it
(31:11):
just got really crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
So tell us, like how you how like how it
was set up?
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Like, well, they were doing all kinds of different things. Okay,
so this this is they would they would do like
they did like four different setups, but like the third
setup was the one that it didn't even break me,
like I broke them. But so the setup that they
had me was I was I had my arms tied
behind my back and then I was hung by the
(31:38):
neck so that my my toes like barely touched the floor.
And the floor wasn't the floor. The floor was a
copper sheet underneath me. And then they had electrodes going
to my clitterists and my nipples and that copper sheet
(31:59):
was elect so anytime I did touch down, it would
shock me hard. And like I've done electricity play before.
I've been hit with a cattle prod. You know, I've
had a little zappers. You know, I've I've used a
fucking Tucker telephone and it's used to what a Tucker telephone?
Speaker 3 (32:14):
What what is that?
Speaker 4 (32:18):
You are teaching me so much today, by the way,
I am, I'm sorry, I am learning.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
No, No, this is a day of education.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I am being educated by today.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Quick, quick, aside a Tucker telephone. It's it was like
a device that was used to like torture prisoners in
like the thirties, and it's it's a telephone and you
and when you would crank it, like these wires would
like shock you. And it's it's bad. Okay, it's bad.
It's not fun. It was, it's illegal. Now I don't
use anymore. I've done like intense electricity play, okay, And
(32:48):
that this was the worst thing I have ever felt
in my life, way worse than than giving birth, way
worse and giving birth is it's not fun. Yeah, I
wouldn't do it. No, I can do it on an evening.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Off, I mean, and I got, I got the epidurals,
like just the feeling, just the did you give natural birth?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
H Once I did and once I did not, and
actually thought the natural was for me easier. But we'll
talk about that later.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yeah, give me birth doesn't feel good.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
It doesn't feel good.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, it's really hard.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
But anyways, shocking me and but it only happens when
my my feet are down, but when I'm not down,
like I'm hanging by my neck, you know, And so
I just I just couldn't take it anymore. And so
I finally was just lifting my feet up and I
was I was hanging myself. And Elise Graves was on set.
(33:45):
She was the only woman on set, I think, And
finally she took the control from the guy because also, sorry,
so it wasn't just when my feet were down, is
my feet were down and they would push a button.
So it was kind of like a game, like they
would try to get me. And so finally Elise took
the remote from the guy who was using it, and
she she came up to me because you know, I
couldn't see very well, and she shows it to me
(34:08):
and she put it on the floor and she walked
away so that I would not kill myself, basically, and
that was really really intense. And you know, I think.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
That why did she have to stop it?
Speaker 4 (34:21):
I like men are stupid. I mean, like I think he.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Just guy like insanely said I think he did, like
where would I.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Think he didn't know how to stop it. I think
he didn't know.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
How to so he didn't know how far to push it, like.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
He didn't know how to end it in a way
that wouldn't be anti climactic for the viewers. I think
is his problem. He didn't have that performance in him.
And Elise was just the first one who's like, it
doesn't matter, it's over. She was just like the first
person who said I don't care.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, And so how long were you? Like, I don't know,
I have no idea why.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Maybe fifteen minutes, I don't know. A while I don't remember.
And also I don't know if they ate it down,
I don't I don't know. I'm guessing. But yeah, after that,
actually we had one more position to do.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
So that wasn't even it, Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
But they were like, okay, we're gonna take it down
a notch. So after that, they had me in a
chair and they tied me down and they put my
feet in this bucket of ice water and were then
shocking my feet in the water. Oh but it wasn't
as bad, but it was still a lot. And I
was just like sitting there just like like just crying,
(35:40):
you know, like like I wasn't like sobbing, but just like,
you know, tears, and at this point I think that
the uh mail director kind of like regained control and
figured out and so I'm doing this and like this
is a live thing that they're broadcast as well, like
they were your life too.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yah.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
Yeah, yeah, they were doing it like this. And he
came over and he whispered in my ear and he
was like, we're going to give you the money anyway.
We need you to break for the scene. Please just
tell me the fucking code.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Yeah. And at this point, you know, because also like
I was, do.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
You think they were always going to give you the money?
Speaker 4 (36:21):
I think so, yeah, Wow, I think so, But I was,
you know, now I would assume that, like but at
the time I didn't understand very well. And I think
in the video I just.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Go what what what?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
And he's like, he's like, just calm down, coming down,
you know, because he's trying not to ruin it for
the guys at home who are who the the sadists
who are jerking off to this. And and I remember
the code. The code was one one one one, because
I thought that would be funny.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yeah. But I did get of it, and you know,
at that point, I was just like I'd been through
so much that I was just like, well, I have
to get money now, you know, like I can't have
gone through all this and I have to go home
to my kid with nothing, but with a lot less. Yeah,
a thousand dollars less. But I did. Okay, I'm very
(37:14):
happy Elise was there and they did give me the money.
I earned that fucking money.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I earned it.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
How did you feel after that? Were you just I mean,
did you think like, oh my god, I'm never doing
anything like that.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
No?
Speaker 4 (37:29):
No, No, I felt proud of myself, you know, I mean,
how many people have been tortured like they might say
they have, how many people have been really tortured? And no,
and I didn't break, yeah, you know, and like like granted,
if they had pushed it much farther, I would have, Yeah,
but uh no, I was proud of myself. I was like,
I am a fucking high level masochist and everybody knows
(37:51):
that now and nobody can say anything. And I have
endurance and I am strong, and I am I have
discipline and no, I was incredibly proud of myself and
I did do or things like that like that was
the most intense one. But yeah, no, I'm very proud
of myself.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
All right.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
So Cia, if you're hiring I need a new spy,
not break under.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
There you go. She is, uh, oh, good.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Girl. They should be hiring new mothers.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
How do you prepare mentally for a scene that's especially
emotionally or physically intense.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
Like.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
It, don't you just go in? I go in?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yeah? No, I have some prayers. I don't.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
Yeah, it's fine, It's it's fucking fine. And especially now
like now, I would just be like, no, I'm done,
you know, or negotiate more beforehand. Yeah, I don't. I
don't really worry about it now. I've been doing this
for so long.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
You know, what do you think people would be surprised
to learn about the reality of shooting a fetish scene?
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (38:55):
You know, like I used to always have like dudes
like try to book me for really extreme things like that,
you know, back when I was programming pro summing, which
I don't do anymore, but they would like send me
pictures of myself and I want to book you for this,
and I know you can do it. I'm like, are
you gonna have like ten people on set? And like
they're like, look, you can take this ballgag. I'm like,
it was in my mouth for like two minutes at
(39:16):
a time. They had a girl running with water, like
are you stupid? Like yeah, just like they they don't
seem to understand what a movie is, you know, and like,
you know, I'm married and I love my husband. I do,
but he used to think the Bang Bus was real,
And I'm.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Like, okay, I mean, you know, very convincing dramatization.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Sure if you say so.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Well, it's like the people who also think that, like
those leaked sex tapes are real, I like the Paris
Hilton and the Kim Kardashian one. They're like, oh god,
it's like, okay, let me just spoiler alert for everybody
out there. If there is a sex tape that is
distributed like commercially by a company, it is not a
leaked sex tape. Everybody who is in an adult production
(40:15):
has to sign paperwork at twenty two to fifty seven
form verifying your age and has to provide two US
issued government IDs proving your age. It includes Paris Hilton
in King Kardashian, Okay, not leaked one hundred percent. They
signed off on that they are making money off of it. Yeah,
(40:38):
this is just the truth. Yep, yep, yep, just saying,
So you won the ex Biz Milk Performer of the
Year this year. How did that feel?
Speaker 4 (40:53):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
I was very glad I got it because when I
got the AVN in twenty twenty four, there was like
a little bit of a a snaffoo and I didn't
get to go on the stage and I didn't get
any pictures in the Winter Circle or anything.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Oh no, and.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
That was really heartbroken, and like Avan like they they
made up for it by letting me go on stage
with Tony this year. And you know I didn't win,
but you know, at least I have like pictures of
myself on stage and you know, everybody got to see me. Yeah, everything.
That was cool. Although, oh my god, can I tell
you my story about like when I when I did
when the Avian were EI there, I hope yes. But
(41:28):
you didn't see did you? I hope not.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Okay, I won. I was there by myself. First of all,
my husband couldn't come, and there was this like very
obnoxious drunk woman sitting behind me and she was removed eventually,
but before she was just being so loud and like
she grabbed me and like stuck her tongue in my
mouth like she was wasted, I know, and they.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Removed in the industry.
Speaker 4 (41:50):
I don't know. We haven't been able to find out
who she is.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
There was a really obnoxious drunk guy sitting across from
me this year at the av end Oh really, and
then he kept just like switching seats.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
He was the one. Did you hear him?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
He kept going like you deserve it, like good job.
Like at least he was being positive, that's nice, but
like he like every like he would just be like
you deserve it, like a good job, but.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Like he was actually really annoying.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
And then he like I don't know, started playing music
or like what to a radio show really loud on
his phone.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
I don't know. It was really weird.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
What okay.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
He was sitting right in front of Corey Chase. I
remember that, and I felt so bad for Corey because
I was like, he probably wants to kill him. Yeah, yeah,
it was really odd.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
But so I had one of those myself, and she
was just she had cleared out, like people were like, like,
we're leaving, and I was like okay, And so I
was the last man standing. I'm alone there, and then
I turn around and little Puck and Sean Alferd back there,
and I was like, can I please sit with you guys?
And they're like of course, of course, of course, and like, uh,
Puck and I are actually dating now, so I'm extra
(42:49):
glad that she was there. But we're sitting there and
Puck is like, are you nervous? And I was like no,
because I know I'm not going to win, and she
was like okay, and then they called my name and
I like freaked out. I was like, oh my god,
I actually won an AVN, Like you know, I've been
doing this for like twenty years. Yeah, and I finally wow,
(43:10):
and so I was like, oh my god. And so
I like, you've puck my purse real quick, and I
run up there because I'm not thinking. And then I
get up to the stage and nobody's on the stage.
It's like empty, and I turn around and everybody's leaving
and I kind of look and sitting right there are
the two coolest girls in school, Caden Cross and maitland
(43:31):
Ward are sitting there staring at me, and I'm just like,
oh my god. I was so embarrassed. I was so humiliated,
and like, I talked to Maitland later and she's really
nice about it, but I was. And then I had
to walk back to my seat and Puck is like
holding my purse and she's like it's okay. I'm like yep,
She's like, you won. I'm like, uh huh.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
Wait, oh was it?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Because at the end they were just reading Okay, they
weren't like it.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Was but they said but they had like the graphics
changed and they said and Penny Barber and so I thought,
oh great, I get to be the last one. But no,
it was just like, because you just sure we got
to go up there this year?
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Usually yeah, I know you're right, they do, yeah, you do.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
Usually yeah, And she did. She got to go up
this year and everything, and I do feel like the
performer of the year milf. Yeah, and trans should you
get to go up on the stage. That's a big one.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
But yeah, I was there. I don't remember seeing that.
Speaker 4 (44:32):
Well now I've told everyone, so now you guys know.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
I was like, it's humiliating. Let me tell you about it.
This is why I am stage. So okay, we should
we could rush it. What if all the Mills just
like rushed it. Yeah, right, what if we just did it?
Speaker 3 (44:51):
We're all winners.
Speaker 4 (44:51):
What are they going to do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
If I win again, I'll be like, come up here.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
So any big plans for twenty twenty five, any project
people should be keeping their eye out for.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Yeah, actually with uh with Puck, She's she's so talented
and intelligent and such a great performer, and we have
this very ambitious project in the works where I feel
like she and I both have the contacts that we
(45:28):
need to like do it. I can't go too into it,
but basically she and I are both going to be
aliens from planet fuck who have come to Earth. Nice,
So it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Well, judging from her incredible outfit from Expiz, which she
was pinhead, I did not recognize her at all.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
I was like, she's still look good.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah, I would amazing and did Yeah, Oh my god,
that was crazy.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
It was amazing.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
I can I can image and how great that.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
She had just seen in that she liked it a
POV with Sean right before they left. Yah, she's creative.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Well, thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Thank you for having such a pleasure to have you,
and I do have a bunch of questions for my
Patreon members, which I asked you in a separate segment. Okay,
if you guys are a member of my Patreon, you'll
be able to watch the bonus Q and A. Go
to patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered for access
to that Q and A plus to get the uncensored
version of this interview.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
And believe me, for YouTube, I'm.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Going to have to cut out quite a few of
her stories because YouTube will not appreciate them. But you
definitely want to hear them because they are they're wild.
Uh So you can find me on Instagram and on
x at Holly Randall and then Penny.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Of course, can you tell everybody where they can find you?
Speaker 4 (46:53):
Oh god, where are we at? We're Pampered Penny on
x Penny dot Barbara dot truly on Instagram and Miss
Penny Barber on TikTok. I think, yes, fantastic.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
And then you must have an only fan.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
Oh I do, yeah, how about that? I think it's
at Pampered Penny on OnlyFans.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
Okay, yeah, fantastic, And of course, go to holilinks dot
com for access to all of my platforms. Thank you
guys so much for joining us, and I will see
you in the next one.
You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
our sex podcast collective, visit pleasure Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. I just
want to give a shout out to my sponsors at
Blue Chew. Thank you so much for sponsoring my podcast.
And if you guys want to up your game in
the bedroom, go to blue choo dot com. Try your
first month for free, use code Holly and pay only
(00:45):
five dollars in shipping. All right, So, my guest today
has spent over two decades mastering the art of melf
and mommy domming, exploring kink, and challenging stigmas in the
adult industry. She is a performer, director and the twenty
four AVN Milk Performer of the Year, and this year
she won ex Business Milk Performer of the Year.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Welcome Penny Barber. Hello, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
I'm doing pretty good? Yeah, how are you?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It only took me like five tries to get that
intro right. But everybody who is watching right now is
watching the edited version, and they will never know how
many times I fucked up, except I just admitted it.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
But that's Okay, you did. You told on yourself.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I did tell on myself.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
But you know what I gotta be. I got to
make mistakes every once in a while.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
She did it. You pulled through, you.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Know, Otherwise people will think I'm like super human. We
can't have that.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
It's a many a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
So Penny, let's start at the beginning, as we always
do with our guests, all the way back to two
thousand and three.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Is that right?
Speaker 4 (01:53):
That is right?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, that's right, that's okay. I started before then, So
you're good. I've been in longer than you.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
I'm usually the longest one. Usually it's me.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, I beat you, I beat you. How many years?
How long have you been in the industry specifically?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Yeah, since two thousand and three, and it's twenty twenty five,
for like twenty two years.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Okay, I'm twenty six years. I beat you. I win win.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I choose not to acknowledge it not.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So how did you first get in, Jude?
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I was eighteen and I needed money. It was the
oldest time that tracks. Yeah, I was eighteen, I needed money,
and you know, it was a different era. I don't
do this now, don't do this. But yeah, I was
like answering Craigslist ads and you know, but it was
it was a different time back then. There were some
legitimate companies on there. That's how I found kink dot
(02:42):
com and a bunch of other creepy dudes.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, did you have any creepy dude stories from craigslast?
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Actually they were all like really really nice to me.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
That's great. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
And you know, I'm saying creepy dudes just because like
kind of like that's what people think. But they were
really nice. They're really polite. I never had any problems,
was any of them grabbing me or even saying anything
weird to me? And I guess, I guess I got lucky. Yeah,
I guess I got lucky. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, there's definitely some bad actors out there, but it
sounds like you you got the good ones. So tell
me about your first scene, Like, what was the first
craig lace ad that you answered you went to, and
what was it.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Like one of the first Craigslist dudes. I don't think
he was the very first, but it was this dude
in his thirties, a single guy, and you know, he
just wanted to tie up a lady and take pictures.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, And so I went over to his beautiful house
in San Francisco and he tied me up and took
photos and I was like fully clothed, and he paid
me well and tipped me. The only thing was he
had these two little French bulldogs, and you know, he
told me be careful with your things because they'll they'll
eat it, you know. And I was like, sure, I
(04:02):
left my glasses on the floor and his dogs ate
my glasses. But the guy bought me some new ones
and he's like really sweet about it, and he had
his very like avuncular energy. He was just really nice
to me. So, yeah, I had.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
The worst thing that happened was his dogs ate your glasses.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah, and he paid for it and didn't like I
didn't even have to ask. He was like, oh, of course,
and like he told me not to, I did it anyway.
But he was just like, oh, this little eighteen year old,
I'll take you know, I'll take care of it.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Oh that's really nice.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
He's just a chill guy. Some a few times, he's
very nice.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, so you've done a few like adult related scenes shoots.
How are you feeling about like working an adult, Like
are you thinking, Okay, this is a career that I'm
going path that I'm going to follow, or are you still
just thinking like I'm just figuring out ways to get
money and I'm thinking about doing something else with my life.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
At the time, I really wanted to go to school
for biological anthropology to really piss off my fundamentalist parents.
And if I thought that was going to change them off,
just wait. And so I started going on digs and whatnot,
and I did not like the politics and just how
(05:10):
manipulative people are, like like I don't for example, recently,
if you watch the Netflix documentary on like Homonnaletti and
then you go back and you like actually read the
papers on it, a lot of it is very deceptive.
It's okay if you don't know what the fuck I'm
talking about, but for the people who do, there's just
a lot of everybody wants to make like the new
(05:30):
big discovery, and I think that it gets in the
way of good science. And I was just seeing more
and more of that and that it was all politics
and the people who were getting the grants were the
ones who, like you know, glad handed in the right way.
And to a little eighteen year old me, that was
very disheartening. You know, I had been to Christian fundamental
schools all my life and I thought, oh, science is
(05:50):
like discovery of truth and we're going to find the
origins of humanity. And then finding out that it's just
another business was very depressing to me. Wow. But I
liked getting fucked. That was great. So oh my god.
I mean I made a choice.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
And you found porn to be like a more honest job.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I mean yeah, I mean I don't want to be
like still like, you know, oh prissy about it or
anything like I was only pursuing pleasure and money, let's
be honest. But yeah, I was kind of grossed out
by academia. And I do think that academia is very
broken right now. Not that I'm qualified to talk about
(06:36):
that really, but that's why I decided to stop pursuing
it and just in a very nihilistic way, enjoy what
time I had on this earth and make some money.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
You know what, It's interesting that you say that because
I wholeheartedly agree, and I have seen this a lot,
and I tell people this all the time, and you know,
my experience. You know, I started working in like the
tech world, and I've seen you know, venture capitalism, and
I've seen like a lot of other you know, side
(07:11):
businesses that I wasn't really exposed to before, and it
has just reinforced my belief that like porn is kind
of like a very honest business. I know that's the
last thing that people would think. Yeah, but it's true.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
I mean not not always, but it's better than the
I mean it's not perfect, no, I think nothing, it
is better.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, why do you think that is? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
We just were so busy, like actually getting fucked that
we don't try to fuck each other.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I don't know why it is. I think it's just well,
first of all, like you know, when people find out
about things like like if you're into tech, like planned obsolescence,
that that seems like evil to me, Like that sounds
like like higher horrible, like it should be illegal and
you're under such scrutiny. I guess with porn, you know,
like if like, of course they happen and people do
bad things, but you know, it's much more pinned on
(08:05):
the individual and people talk about it and we're not
really worried about being blacklisted in the same way that
I might be like a tech company, you know, like
you can always just go do something else important. As
I'm guessing, I'm speculating, I don't know. What do you think?
What do you think it is?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I think, first of all, there's a lot less red
tape around things, right, so you don't have to get
the grants and do all of this master manipulation to
get the funding to do the things that you want.
It's a lot easier to get things done. And everybody's
kind of like an independent contractor and an entrepreneur actually,
(08:48):
like a small business owner really, and especially with the
advent of like OnlyFans really where people are financially independent
and they can like pursue their own ideas and creativity.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
And don't get insurance but I get only fans.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But like it's leveled the playing field a lot now
where people can kind of and it's given so much
more power to the creators. It was not like, I mean,
the adult industry is a much healthier place to work
and now than it was before.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
And you've been around, so you know, I got lucky.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Nothing ever really happened to me. But I hear the stories,
you know, and I would see it and oh, you know, so.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, I mean I think that there's something about that.
And maybe it's because we are kind of like the
black sheep of the entertainment industry. And I think it's
also too it attracts these kind of like free free
free thinking, like kind of like.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I don't want to say, you don't want to you
don't want to be restricted. Yeah, yeah, there's there's like,
oh god, I was just watching this thing and they
were talking about how Hollywood will take a good story
about a bad girl and turn it into a bad
story about a good girl, and we don't have to
do that doing No, I'm starting to get involved more
in directing and doing things for corporations, and even that
(10:09):
degree of control is something I'm not used to. So
like I very much. I like being able to do
whatever whatever I want. I'm not a hippie, but yeah,
I get it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
You mean, yeah, I mean, there's just like there's a
there's a certain freedom to people who are willing to
throw all of that propriety to the wind and are
willing to face the stigma that comes along with working
in porn and are willing to just be like fuck it,
I'm going to do whatever I want and like follow
(10:40):
you know, my own desires and will and not conform.
They're very nonconformists, yes, and I think there's a lot
to that. There is, you know, And it's also.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Full of artists, Yes, there's very much.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
So so I think there's there's a lot to that.
And it's a small industry, and it's a small insular industry.
And if you burn bridges and you fuck people over,
it's hard, yeah, to get past that.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
People know who did it? Like it's you, Like, you know,
I don't know who the I mean maybe I could
Google or something. I don't know who the fuck came
up with planned obsolescence.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
But yeah, yeah, it's big.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
It's a big company. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Exactly exactly, So I think I think that probably has
a lot to do with.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
It personal responsibility and creativity.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah the same time, Yeah, exactly what was your life
like before you got into porn? I mean, I I
was a child, but I mean fundamentalist parents. It sounds
like you grew up in a religious household.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Oh yeah, yeah, I went to just like these private
schools that would keep kicking me out for various reasons. Yeah,
it was. It was very very Christian. I was. I
was very very innocent, constantly told that like the outside
world was really really really evil, and I mean, I
guess it is, but it's it's not as bad as
(11:53):
I was told. And what else did I do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I was.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
I had just you know, turned eighteen, and I didn't
really want to talk to my parents anymore, and they
were trying really hard to control me with money, but
I wanted to live like a little punk gutter rat,
so that didn't work very well for them. I think
that I think that my siblings are still financially dependent
(12:18):
on my parents, which is kind of Yeah, if that's
how you are, that's that's fine, but it's not for me.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Are you so close to your family?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
No? No, My mother's mother is terrifying. She's like this
master manipulator and like she can get you to do things,
and so the only way to kind of escape that
is to stay away from her because she's scary. Like
every time I talk to her just at all, she'll
(12:48):
she'll end up taking something from me.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And yeah, that must have been a hard conclusion to
come to. I mean, I know people like that who've
like struggled with family dynamics and and just like constantly
tried to make it work and then finally came to
this conclusion of like, you know what, it's just kind.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Of I just I don't think she liked me very much,
you know, and I think part of it was like
I wasn't very easy to control that way, like my
siblings are kind of more easy to control with money,
and yeah, I don't know, Like I every now and then,
like I'll kind of like think about her or like
(13:26):
my dad or something, but or like'll they'll try to
get in contact with me, like my mother will every
few years like send me this really half assed little apology,
you know, like a little letter or something. It just
says I'm sorry, and I'm just like, oh she wants something,
Oh she wants something.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Yeah, So yeah, I don't really and you know, I
kind of feel bad about my siblings, but I'm just
like they're adults. I can't yeah, you know, I can't
pursue that.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
So tell me about your early life in porn, Like
what kind of scenes were you doing and what was
your early experience like.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Rock and roll? Yeah, it was just so it used
to be different. Up in San Francisco, everyone had their
own little website or at the very least a little
Clips for Sale store.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Clips for Sale.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Hey, well, you could find any fetish that ever existed.
Just go and search the categories there and you'd be like, Wow,
there's a hair washing fetish.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Okay, oh I've done that. I did a hair washing
video one time back in the day, and they were like,
do it for as long as you possibly can, like,
you know, if you think it's too long, keep going.
And I washed my hair for forty five minutes and
had quite a lovely time. And then finally they were like,
please stop. We know we told you to go as
long as you can, but like and I was ready
(14:47):
to keep going. I was like, this is actually really
like it was actually kind of sensual. I kind of
liked it. Yeah, but yeah. So I was just working
for for everybody's little, little, tiny companies, and then kink
dot Com started kind of like poaching all these people
and sort of like sucked them up. And at first
people would be like, oh, I'm still going to run
my site, but there wasn't really time for them to
(15:07):
work full time for Kink and also do their own thing.
So then I started working pretty much exclusively for Kink,
and then to kind of fill in the gaps, I
started my own Clips for Sale. It was so bad.
It was so bad, Holly, it was terrible.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I tried clips for Sales site, and I found that
an incredibly difficult website really to work with, just like
I couldn't figure it out, like the interface into like
sell stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It was like very complicated.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I think also because I didn't really do fetish much,
it didn't really like work for me.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, I think it has to be like a weird niche.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Yeah, and it wasn't me, Like I wasn't a model.
I was like a photographer.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
So it's like I can see really like but yeah,
I used to my my ex boyfriend with whom i'm
still close, Sam Solo, he first started it and he
was like doing it was when all these other like
clip Clinic and clip this and clip that, we're trying
to compete with it, And he was like, why don't
you use these other websites? The interface is so much better.
I'm like, because Clips for Sale has the traffic. Yeah,
so even they had they had this really like weirdly
even back then antiquated like abstruse interface. You know, it
(16:11):
was where the money was and I still have it
and it is it is doing quite it does great.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
It does.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
It's like a third of my income.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
I know, freaking clips for sale lasts in the past.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
They changed their interface though, right, didn't they update it.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Maybe a little? Yeah, really it's very similar. It's like
so hard to change your stuff too. You have to
like email them and like it's yeah, fun. Yes, I
wish they would update it. But also they've been they've
been very supportive of me through well.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I mean like if it's ain't broke, which sounds like
it's sort of is, don't fix it.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I don't know, it could be improved. But also I'm grateful.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, okay, so you were doing you were selling stuff
on clips for Sale, Like what kind of videos did
you have, like more popular niche type videos that you
were selling.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Yeah, I was doing the A b DL stuff. What
the Oh you don't know, but some people may not know.
Some people don't know. Okay, adults Baby Diaper Lover, which
is like an age plaything. It's like, yeah, do you want.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Me to Yeah, there are there educate our audience not
everybody knows what these things are.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
People are always like what, and I'm like, you know what,
I understand, Like when people say, don't knock it till
you've tried it, like you don't have to try everything,
but it can be quite fun. Okay, Like the taboo
stuff is like wildly popular. So it's just like combining
that with like plastic fetishism and p and these really
(17:43):
fundamental DS dynamics. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like I'm not
really super into the age play side of it. I'm
more into like the femdom side of it. Like you know,
your boyfriend cheated on you or something, so You're just like, well,
I'm going to make sure no girls want you. You know,
you go to the club and your your pants are
all puffy and crinkling. You think you're going to pick
(18:03):
some girl up, you know. I like doing that type
type of ABDL play. And I you know, I'm a
latex fetishist, so I like the plastic fetish and I'm
into water sports, so I like the pee, and obviously
I like the mommy thing.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
So now the latex, so I love latex. I love
the way it looks beautiful.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
It is such a pain in theastic get on and
it is so hot and like uncomfortable to wear, but
you but you love it like so tell us like
because I know some people love like even just the
process of putting it on and the smell of it
and and all of that is like what about latex
and peels?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
See, the only thing I don't like about latex is
that I'm worried it's gonna ripa like I always have
like very short yes, little nails, a short nails. Other
reasons as well, but it helps a lot with the
latex to have short little nails. So latex amplifies temperatures,
so if it's cold, you're gonna be really really cold,
and if you're hot, you're gonna be really really hot,
so like the temperature has to be like perfect. But yeah,
(19:06):
I just I like the tightness of it. I like
the kind of like futuristic feel of it. It's just
it's very clean feeling. To me. I like having like
a barrier between myself. But also it amplifies touch. So
if you're wearing it and someone's like running their fingers
over you, kind of not their nails, but their their
fingers like this over you, or a toy or something.
(19:28):
You know, you can snap it, so it's very pleasing
to the censorium. And it smells good, it's shiny. But yeah,
I know what you mean. I used to say, Oh,
I like latex on other people, but now I've started
to enjoy wearing it as well. Yeah, in the past
decade or so, yeah, just these last few ten years.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
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Speaker 4 (20:02):
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Speaker 2 (20:12):
So I just want to explore the age play stuff
a little bit more. Abdal what is it again?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Adult baby diaper lover lover got it?
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Okay? So I mean you pretty much like wrote the
book on it.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Yeah, I wrote two books on it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
That's amazing. What do you think is the kink with that? Like?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Why do you think what it is about wearing diapers
that turns people on?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I like that it's humiliating. I like the embarrassment. Like
that feeling of embarrassment feels very sexual to me. And
I mean I wasn't really like into it before, like
like my first husband was into it, you know. That's
how I kind of at first I was like what,
and then I started doing it. I was like, Oh,
I like this, Yeah, it's it's really for me about
(21:01):
the embarrassment and like the discipline and like just like
the protocol of everything. I know, like people think it's
like it's it's dirty, but for me, like everything is
very very clean, you know, like you have these very
clean smells. You know, everything it's like wiped down, you know,
you have like bath time and all a lot of
the rituals are about cleaning and like you know, regimenting
(21:22):
your behavior. And yeah, I just I love the control.
Like I can't think of anything else. Maybe old guard
leather comes close to it, but there's there's just nothing
else really like wow.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And then what do you think it is about people?
Like the people that wear the diapers? What do you
think it is about that that they enjoy? Like have
they told you why they're into that kink?
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah? I mean I know I'm into it. I like
the you've never you haven't really I don't know what
I'm allowed to say.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
You can do whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Okay, you've never have you ever peeden one? You've never
peeden a diaper? Have you?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (21:58):
You're like not for a while, no, okay, all right, yeah,
so when when when you do, it's just everything it
like expands, like and because it's on you tightly, when
it expands, the desicon sort of expands into your pussy
in a way, and it's like this warmly. So it's
(22:18):
it feels good.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
You know.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
I don't defecating them, it's just not my thing. Yeah,
I've tried it. I do not like it. But the pea,
it's it's just this warm, wet liquid that that feels
very good, and but also that's fleeting, like it gets
cold really really quickly, and then it is uncomfortable. Yeah,
(22:41):
and you know, it's embarrassing and it's like a focus
on your genitals that like you know, and it crinkles
and it squishes and so it's it's embarrassing, and you've
got that plastic fetishism thing and like there's the smell
of it of the plastic and pea, and it's just
like very overwhelming. It's reduct it's humiliating and yeah, and
(23:05):
just just like the the kinkiness of it, like fetish
them and like the kinkiness of it, like there is
no reason for me to be wearing this thing other
than this like kind of high hie. Yeah, yes, I'm thing.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
So I actually I'm gonna admit that I didn't realize
that you also wear them. I thought that you only
like played the dominant like mommy role with boys.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
With men who wear them. No, but you wear them.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
But do you also do the opposite to where like
you have men who wear them and then you both okay,
I'm a switch. Yeah, okay, got you got youa Okay.
So for the men who like to wear them, do
you think that it's like I guess this really like
leans more into like the mommy dommy role just in general.
(23:56):
Why do you think that men enjoy that so much?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Is it like probably all this same reasons that I
just mentioned. You know, you can make them like because
when they went into it, it kind of creates like
this little and you can make them like fuck their
own diaper and it's it's wet and you're like, you'd
better do it fast before it gets cold, you know,
Just so it's very.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
They actually fuck their own diapers yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Like they can just like fuck it, and like I
can pull it open and I can pee in it
and then make them fuck or like, there's all kinds
of things you can do. I can just like sometimes
I'll just like or I'll like put a bunch of
ice cubes in it and like wait for it to
You can do all kinds of things, you know, there's
a lot of Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You know, like that's why I honestly like didn't know
that there was like so many things that that this
was such a multifaceted, oh experience.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Yeah, it's there's they got a lot of stuff you
can do.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Wow, that's really cool.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
There's like a book called like one hundred and one
Diaper Punishments or something. I wish I could remember the
name of the lady who wrote it.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff that you can do.
And it's one of the things I like to do
for public humiliation is when I would do more of
it long di since I would have a guy put
one on pee in it, and then he had to
go out to a bar or something or a club
while wearing it, and he could not leave until he
got a woman's phone number and it's hard for them
(25:12):
to do.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
It's hard for them to do without.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
It's hard to do without it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
But yeah, you can just like make him do stuff
like that.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I see.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I always thought it was just like, you know, a
guy in a diaper and then there's a woman telling
him like he's a bad boy, and like maybe feeds
in baby food and like spanks them or something. I
didn't realize like there was so much to it. Yeah,
one hundred and one way. I mean, someone could write
a book about one hundred and one ways.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Oh easy.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Yeah, that's amazing. Wow, that's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
If someone is curious about ABDL but nervous to explore it,
where would you suggest it?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
They start?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Well, I mean obviously it's up to the individual. It's like, well,
why are you nervous to explore it? Like, are you
worried that you were partners not going to be into it? Because,
to be honest, they're probably not going to be.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
So if if you're worried about your partner judging you
and leaving you over it, yeah, that happens. You know.
There's no magic thing that you can do to make
your partner take it well, and they probably won't but
if you just want to do it on your own,
just want to do it on your own, I suggest
you got a pamperedpenny dot com, pull out that credit
(26:27):
card and you know that. I mean, got you know
one of the They have so many different ABDL diapers
like specifically made for this nowadays. I think that different
people discovered that they could get the manufactured with their
own U unique designs in China pretty easily. Uh so
they're they're all over Amazon. You know, all of this
(26:49):
gear and like onesies and like special bondage gear and
you know callers and fucking diaper harnesses that you know,
force you to wear it in locking plastic pants. It's
all over Amazon. So I would just like spend an
evening maybe you know, you pour yourself a glass of
wine or put a put a glass of wine into
a sippy cup, and go on Amazon and make yourself
(27:11):
a little wish list and then watch some of my videos.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Where are there's got to be like groups of people
like that do this, because like it's got to be
it's a very specific niche.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I have found them to be low quality.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
I mean, I wouldn't I wouldn't ask you to like
publicly give out those lists because you're gonna get a
lot of like luky lose to go in there. But
if one was serious about it, they could probably eventually.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
I'm pretty serious about it.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah, But what I'm saying like, I feel like.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
That time has kind of passed, Like I every few years,
like like maybe a couple of years ago, I tried
again to get into the local age play community and
it just wasn't great. We used to have a thing
but back in the day, Back in the day, we
used to have a thing called Little Scouts, which you
could start one now if you want to. But it
(28:01):
was just like you know, age players. We'd meet like
once a month and you could like meet other people
who were into it, and like we would do like
community service things like at the leather conventions and stuff,
and like we would have like a tent at Pride
and you know, do things like that, do fundraisers. We
were trying to start a leather title contest, which I
used to be a judge for. But yeah, I I
(28:23):
feel like, especially since the pandemic, it's gotten worse where
everything is just so shut down and you know, the
gen z ers, I guess don't want to go out.
But also the millennials aren't really doing anything either, so yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry,
that's my honest opinion. I wish it could be more positive.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, what do you think are some common misconceptions about ABDAL?
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I think that commonly people don't know what the what
it is.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Yeah, I didn't know what it was until you said
it too.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
The misconception we they don't know that it exists. Yeah,
I guess, I don't know. Maybe they think you're like
a a pedophile or something, but it's just like you know,
like with the taboo stuff, like it's it's not fucking real, Like, yeah,
it's it's just not real. And that's very easy to
confirm that it's not real, because like if you do
(29:15):
go to a munch, or if you do read a
story or anything like that, you just kind of look around.
It's like everyone here is like in their thirties or
forties or whatever, you know. So yeah, I feel like
it's pretty easily demunked.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
What are some of the kinks or fetishes that are
on your no list?
Speaker 4 (29:30):
Mmm, Like I said, I've tried some scat stuff and
I just didn't enjoy it, So I'm not really interested
in that stuff that I The list of things that
Penny Baba won't do is very short. I don't do
a lot of suspension bondage anymore because you know, I'm
(29:51):
getting older.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
Yeah, well, maybe this can lead into some stories about
some of your crazier.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Crazier do you see an opening?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Yeah, okay, I'll tell you. I'll tell you about that.
One my most intense shoot to date. And I've heard
other people have stories that are way worse than this one.
But this is my hardest shoot that I have ever done.
It was for insects and you can buy it, you
can watch it. Back in the day, I was maybe
(30:26):
I don't even think I was thirty yet. I was
pretty young. But the theme of the shoot was that
they had like one thousand dollars in this little safe,
like a little lock box, and they were trying to
get me to tell them the code. And if I
(30:49):
didn't tell them the code, if I held out and
didn't use my safe word and tell them tell them
the code, then I could keep the money in there.
And again I was very young. I was a new mother,
and I hadn't been working very much because I just
had a baby, and so I was like I'm gonna
hold out. I'm gonna hold out for this. I'm not
gonna I'm not gonna give it to them. And it
(31:11):
just got really crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
So tell us, like how you how like how it
was set up?
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Like, well, they were doing all kinds of different things. Okay,
so this this is they would they would do like
they did like four different setups, but like the third
setup was the one that it didn't even break me,
like I broke them. But so the setup that they
had me was I was I had my arms tied
behind my back and then I was hung by the
(31:38):
neck so that my my toes like barely touched the floor.
And the floor wasn't the floor. The floor was a
copper sheet underneath me. And then they had electrodes going
to my clitterists and my nipples and that copper sheet
(31:59):
was elect so anytime I did touch down, it would
shock me hard. And like I've done electricity play before.
I've been hit with a cattle prod. You know, I've
had a little zappers. You know, I've I've used a
fucking Tucker telephone and it's used to what a Tucker telephone?
Speaker 3 (32:14):
What what is that?
Speaker 4 (32:18):
You are teaching me so much today, by the way,
I am, I'm sorry, I am learning.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
No, No, this is a day of education.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I am being educated by today.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Quick, quick, aside a Tucker telephone. It's it was like
a device that was used to like torture prisoners in
like the thirties, and it's it's a telephone and you
and when you would crank it, like these wires would
like shock you. And it's it's bad. Okay, it's bad.
It's not fun. It was, it's illegal. Now I don't
use anymore. I've done like intense electricity play, okay, And
(32:48):
that this was the worst thing I have ever felt
in my life, way worse than than giving birth, way
worse and giving birth is it's not fun. Yeah, I
wouldn't do it. No, I can do it on an evening.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Off, I mean, and I got, I got the epidurals,
like just the feeling, just the did you give natural birth?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
H Once I did and once I did not, and
actually thought the natural was for me easier. But we'll
talk about that later.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yeah, give me birth doesn't feel good.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
It doesn't feel good.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, it's really hard.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
But anyways, shocking me and but it only happens when
my my feet are down, but when I'm not down,
like I'm hanging by my neck, you know, And so
I just I just couldn't take it anymore. And so
I finally was just lifting my feet up and I
was I was hanging myself. And Elise Graves was on set.
(33:45):
She was the only woman on set, I think, And
finally she took the control from the guy because also, sorry,
so it wasn't just when my feet were down, is
my feet were down and they would push a button.
So it was kind of like a game, like they
would try to get me. And so finally Elise took
the remote from the guy who was using it, and
she she came up to me because you know, I
couldn't see very well, and she shows it to me
(34:08):
and she put it on the floor and she walked
away so that I would not kill myself, basically, and
that was really really intense. And you know, I think.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
That why did she have to stop it?
Speaker 4 (34:21):
I like men are stupid. I mean, like I think he.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Just guy like insanely said I think he did, like
where would I.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Think he didn't know how to stop it. I think
he didn't know.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
How to so he didn't know how far to push it, like.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
He didn't know how to end it in a way
that wouldn't be anti climactic for the viewers. I think
is his problem. He didn't have that performance in him.
And Elise was just the first one who's like, it
doesn't matter, it's over. She was just like the first
person who said I don't care.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Yeah, And so how long were you? Like, I don't know,
I have no idea why.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Maybe fifteen minutes, I don't know. A while I don't remember.
And also I don't know if they ate it down,
I don't I don't know. I'm guessing. But yeah, after that,
actually we had one more position to do.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
So that wasn't even it, Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
But they were like, okay, we're gonna take it down
a notch. So after that, they had me in a
chair and they tied me down and they put my
feet in this bucket of ice water and were then
shocking my feet in the water. Oh but it wasn't
as bad, but it was still a lot. And I
was just like sitting there just like like just crying,
(35:40):
you know, like like I wasn't like sobbing, but just like,
you know, tears, and at this point I think that
the uh mail director kind of like regained control and
figured out and so I'm doing this and like this
is a live thing that they're broadcast as well, like
they were your life too.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yah.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
Yeah, yeah, they were doing it like this. And he
came over and he whispered in my ear and he
was like, we're going to give you the money anyway.
We need you to break for the scene. Please just
tell me the fucking code.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Yeah. And at this point, you know, because also like
I was, do.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
You think they were always going to give you the money?
Speaker 4 (36:21):
I think so, yeah, Wow, I think so, But I was,
you know, now I would assume that, like but at
the time I didn't understand very well. And I think
in the video I just.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Go what what what?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
And he's like, he's like, just calm down, coming down,
you know, because he's trying not to ruin it for
the guys at home who are who the the sadists
who are jerking off to this. And and I remember
the code. The code was one one one one, because
I thought that would be funny.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yeah. But I did get of it, and you know,
at that point, I was just like I'd been through
so much that I was just like, well, I have
to get money now, you know, like I can't have
gone through all this and I have to go home
to my kid with nothing, but with a lot less. Yeah,
a thousand dollars less. But I did. Okay, I'm very
(37:14):
happy Elise was there and they did give me the money.
I earned that fucking money.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I earned it.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
How did you feel after that? Were you just I mean,
did you think like, oh my god, I'm never doing
anything like that.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
No?
Speaker 4 (37:29):
No, No, I felt proud of myself, you know, I mean,
how many people have been tortured like they might say
they have, how many people have been really tortured? And no,
and I didn't break, yeah, you know, and like like granted,
if they had pushed it much farther, I would have, Yeah,
but uh no, I was proud of myself. I was like,
I am a fucking high level masochist and everybody knows
(37:51):
that now and nobody can say anything. And I have
endurance and I am strong, and I am I have
discipline and no, I was incredibly proud of myself and
I did do or things like that like that was
the most intense one. But yeah, no, I'm very proud
of myself.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
All right.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
So Cia, if you're hiring I need a new spy,
not break under.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
There you go. She is, uh, oh, good.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Girl. They should be hiring new mothers.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
How do you prepare mentally for a scene that's especially
emotionally or physically intense.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
Like.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
It, don't you just go in? I go in?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yeah? No, I have some prayers. I don't.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
Yeah, it's fine, It's it's fucking fine. And especially now
like now, I would just be like, no, I'm done,
you know, or negotiate more beforehand. Yeah, I don't. I
don't really worry about it now. I've been doing this
for so long.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
You know, what do you think people would be surprised
to learn about the reality of shooting a fetish scene?
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (38:55):
You know, like I used to always have like dudes
like try to book me for really extreme things like that,
you know, back when I was programming pro summing, which
I don't do anymore, but they would like send me
pictures of myself and I want to book you for this,
and I know you can do it. I'm like, are
you gonna have like ten people on set? And like
they're like, look, you can take this ballgag. I'm like,
it was in my mouth for like two minutes at
(39:16):
a time. They had a girl running with water, like
are you stupid? Like yeah, just like they they don't
seem to understand what a movie is, you know, and like,
you know, I'm married and I love my husband. I do,
but he used to think the Bang Bus was real,
And I'm.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Like, okay, I mean, you know, very convincing dramatization.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
Sure if you say so.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Well, it's like the people who also think that, like
those leaked sex tapes are real, I like the Paris
Hilton and the Kim Kardashian one. They're like, oh god,
it's like, okay, let me just spoiler alert for everybody
out there. If there is a sex tape that is
distributed like commercially by a company, it is not a
leaked sex tape. Everybody who is in an adult production
(40:15):
has to sign paperwork at twenty two to fifty seven
form verifying your age and has to provide two US
issued government IDs proving your age. It includes Paris Hilton
in King Kardashian, Okay, not leaked one hundred percent. They
signed off on that they are making money off of it. Yeah,
(40:38):
this is just the truth. Yep, yep, yep, just saying,
So you won the ex Biz Milk Performer of the
Year this year. How did that feel?
Speaker 4 (40:53):
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
I was very glad I got it because when I
got the AVN in twenty twenty four, there was like
a little bit of a a snaffoo and I didn't
get to go on the stage and I didn't get
any pictures in the Winter Circle or anything.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Oh no, and.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
That was really heartbroken, and like Avan like they they
made up for it by letting me go on stage
with Tony this year. And you know I didn't win,
but you know, at least I have like pictures of
myself on stage and you know, everybody got to see me. Yeah, everything.
That was cool. Although, oh my god, can I tell
you my story about like when I when I did
when the Avian were EI there, I hope yes. But
(41:28):
you didn't see did you? I hope not.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Okay, I won. I was there by myself. First of all,
my husband couldn't come, and there was this like very
obnoxious drunk woman sitting behind me and she was removed eventually,
but before she was just being so loud and like
she grabbed me and like stuck her tongue in my
mouth like she was wasted, I know, and they.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Removed in the industry.
Speaker 4 (41:50):
I don't know. We haven't been able to find out
who she is.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
There was a really obnoxious drunk guy sitting across from
me this year at the av end Oh really, and
then he kept just like switching seats.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
He was the one. Did you hear him?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
He kept going like you deserve it, like good job.
Like at least he was being positive, that's nice, but
like he like every like he would just be like
you deserve it, like a good job, but.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Like he was actually really annoying.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
And then he like I don't know, started playing music
or like what to a radio show really loud on
his phone.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
I don't know. It was really weird.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
What okay.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
He was sitting right in front of Corey Chase. I
remember that, and I felt so bad for Corey because
I was like, he probably wants to kill him. Yeah, yeah,
it was really odd.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
But so I had one of those myself, and she
was just she had cleared out, like people were like, like,
we're leaving, and I was like okay, And so I
was the last man standing. I'm alone there, and then
I turn around and little Puck and Sean Alferd back there,
and I was like, can I please sit with you guys?
And they're like of course, of course, of course, and like, uh,
Puck and I are actually dating now, so I'm extra
(42:49):
glad that she was there. But we're sitting there and
Puck is like, are you nervous? And I was like no,
because I know I'm not going to win, and she
was like okay, and then they called my name and
I like freaked out. I was like, oh my god,
I actually won an AVN, Like you know, I've been
doing this for like twenty years. Yeah, and I finally wow,
(43:10):
and so I was like, oh my god. And so
I like, you've puck my purse real quick, and I
run up there because I'm not thinking. And then I
get up to the stage and nobody's on the stage.
It's like empty, and I turn around and everybody's leaving
and I kind of look and sitting right there are
the two coolest girls in school, Caden Cross and maitland
(43:31):
Ward are sitting there staring at me, and I'm just like,
oh my god. I was so embarrassed. I was so humiliated,
and like, I talked to Maitland later and she's really
nice about it, but I was. And then I had
to walk back to my seat and Puck is like
holding my purse and she's like it's okay. I'm like yep,
She's like, you won. I'm like, uh huh.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
Wait, oh was it?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Because at the end they were just reading Okay, they
weren't like it.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Was but they said but they had like the graphics
changed and they said and Penny Barber and so I thought,
oh great, I get to be the last one. But no,
it was just like, because you just sure we got
to go up there this year?
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Usually yeah, I know you're right, they do, yeah, you do.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
Usually yeah, And she did. She got to go up
this year and everything, and I do feel like the
performer of the year milf. Yeah, and trans should you
get to go up on the stage. That's a big one.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
But yeah, I was there. I don't remember seeing that.
Speaker 4 (44:32):
Well now I've told everyone, so now you guys know.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
I was like, it's humiliating. Let me tell you about it.
This is why I am stage. So okay, we should
we could rush it. What if all the Mills just
like rushed it. Yeah, right, what if we just did it?
Speaker 3 (44:51):
We're all winners.
Speaker 4 (44:51):
What are they going to do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
If I win again, I'll be like, come up here.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
So any big plans for twenty twenty five, any project
people should be keeping their eye out for.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Yeah, actually with uh with Puck, She's she's so talented
and intelligent and such a great performer, and we have
this very ambitious project in the works where I feel
like she and I both have the contacts that we
(45:28):
need to like do it. I can't go too into it,
but basically she and I are both going to be
aliens from planet fuck who have come to Earth. Nice,
So it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Well, judging from her incredible outfit from Expiz, which she
was pinhead, I did not recognize her at all.
Speaker 4 (45:51):
I was like, she's still look good.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah, I would amazing and did Yeah, Oh my god,
that was crazy.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
It was amazing.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
I can I can image and how great that.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
She had just seen in that she liked it a
POV with Sean right before they left. Yah, she's creative.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Well, thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Thank you for having such a pleasure to have you,
and I do have a bunch of questions for my
Patreon members, which I asked you in a separate segment. Okay,
if you guys are a member of my Patreon, you'll
be able to watch the bonus Q and A. Go
to patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered for access
to that Q and A plus to get the uncensored
version of this interview.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
And believe me, for YouTube, I'm.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Going to have to cut out quite a few of
her stories because YouTube will not appreciate them. But you
definitely want to hear them because they are they're wild.
Uh So you can find me on Instagram and on
x at Holly Randall and then Penny.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Of course, can you tell everybody where they can find you?
Speaker 4 (46:53):
Oh god, where are we at? We're Pampered Penny on
x Penny dot Barbara dot truly on Instagram and Miss
Penny Barber on TikTok. I think, yes, fantastic.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
And then you must have an only fan.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
Oh I do, yeah, how about that? I think it's
at Pampered Penny on OnlyFans.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
Okay, yeah, fantastic, And of course, go to holilinks dot
com for access to all of my platforms. Thank you
guys so much for joining us, and I will see
you in the next one.
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