Hops and Box Office Flops

Grab your badge, Kid! It's time to clean up the streets with Dick Tracy!

So, sit back, tease Mumbles with an ice cold Cadence from Reformation Brewery, and never eat oysters with Lips Manlis! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are shaking down the mob one club at a time!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Their turf. Their game. Their rules. They didn't count on HIS law!
• Lingering Questions – W...

Gemini Man—directed by two-time Best Director winner Ang Lee—is a misguided exercise.

Filmed in a format almost no theaters could play, Lee's insistence on pushing the technological bounds of cinema did little to help the movie. Instead of revving up the frames per second, Lee would've been better served to revise the script.

Full of cliches and tropes, Gemini Man feels like a the retread of a film from the 90s. Considering it came...

Eternals is a noble misfire for the MCU. Directed by winner of the 2021 Best Director Oscar, Chloe Zhao, it attempts to elevate the superhero movie genre.

One problem: It's super boring. Eternals, which rambles on for an excruciating 156 minutes, never finds its footing. Plagued by bland characters and a distinct lack of charm, it is never able to distinguish itself among the sea of Marvel movies.

And bad news for the House of Mous...

Hook is a wonderfully charming movie about rediscovering the joys of one's youth. That said, critics hated it when it was released in 1991, and its director, Steven Spielberg, isn't all that high on it either. The latter is a little puzzling.

Sure, Hook is too long and gets oddly dark at times, but there is still so much to enjoy. Principally, both Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook and Robin Williams as Pan all grown up are just havin...

Francis Ford Coppola is one of the greatest directors ever. Period. Yet even his resume is not devoid of misfires and flops.

Enter Jack, a dramedy about a 10-year old kid trapped in the body of a grown man. No, this isn't Big. In this 1996 film, the titular kiddo, Jack Powell, ages far faster than his peers.

With that odd condition comes its own set of issues. As one may assume, yes, poor Jack would have a very short lifespan. Ther...

After seven years and 299 episodes, it was only fitting we'd tackle the film that's been a lightning rod with fans—and the hosts of this podcast—since its release in March 2016.

Love it or hate it, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice remains in the comic book cultural zeitgeist; and it was the first in a chain of events that led to the eventual downfall of the previous iteration of the DCU.

Now, sit back, knuckle up with a Buffalo N...

We've mercifully finished the fight! After four grueling pods and six movies, we conclude our Biohazard Flops series with Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.

Frankly, we don't have the energy to attempt to dissect how this made more than $300 million worldwide. We survived, and that's all that matters.

Now, sit back, give in to the T-Virus with a Harvest Zombie from KCBC, and sneak through that goddamn laser hallway again! The Thunde...

Resident Evil: Retribution carries on the proud tradition of these movies making no sense.

The Red Queen is back, and she's an even bigger bitch; Leon shows up with Barry Burton for reasons; and Wesker is alive — which we knew — but he's defected from Umbrella now.

Things happen, Alice wakes up naked — again — and does backflips — again! And we, the audience, are left to wonder what crime we committed to earn it the penance we're ...

Through bites and claw marks, we soldier on in our Resident Evil franchise retrospective by tackling the second pairing of movies — Resident Evil: Extinction and Resident Evil: Afterlife!

Like the T-Virus, the series has mutated to something indescribably heinous, devouring even more money than its first two iterations.

Now, sit back, toast to that infection with a Social Studies Pizza Party from Streetside Brewing, and protect you...

We come out guns blazing for our look at the Resident Evil film franchise by tackling the first two movies — Resident Evil and Resident Evil Apocalypse!

Now, sit back, search for the truth with a White Rabbit Hazy IPA from Pedal Haus Brewing, and do your best not to die in the Hive! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are genetically modified ass-kicking machines, and we're on a mission!

This Week’s Segments:

• In...

My Fellow Americans is serviceable mismatched duo comedy starring James Garner and Jack Lemmon as two former Presidents on the run from some nefarious government agents.

As former political rivals, Russell P. Kramer (Lemmon) and Matt Douglas (Garner) are thrust together after Kramer is framed for a bribe he didn't take.

Some decent laughs and witty repartee ensue. This is very much Grumpy Old Men with Presidents and not neighbors.

...

Primary Colors is a highly embellished take on the 1992 Presidential campaign of Bill Clinton.

Using that real life run as inspiration, it tells the story of long-shot democrat hopeful Governor Jack Stanton—a deeply flawed, though well-intentioned politician.

Yes, Stanton like his real-life counterpart is a dirty dog. And his wandering eye is a constant source of annoyance for his team.

That aside, despite its way over-exaggerated ...

The Campaign is an outlandish look at two dimwits vying for votes on the local stump circuit, and it is quite funny.

Democratic candidate Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) duels with Republican Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) for what should've been an uncontested election. Hilarity ensues.

What's most shocking about The Campaign isn't the lengths Brady will go to ensure he maintains his seat; it's that the movie flopped. Starring two com...

Swing Vote is about as dated as a film can get, harkening back to a time when politics were more civil and it was conceivable that both parties actually cared about their constituents.

In that sense, it's sort of a time capsule peace. It's also an unfunny mess, where we're stuck rooting for a deadbeat dad as two candidates shamelessly jockey for his decisive vote.

In Swing Vote Kevin Costner, as Bud Johnson, owns that lone vote. It...

Skyscraper is our highest grossing Try Hard Flop, but it’s also our dullest. A paint-by-numbers action movie with very little action to speak of, this thing is a CGI-bloated algorithm of genre tropes.

Instead of just allowing the Rock to go full 80s badass, we get the wounded warrior poet, who begrudgingly picks back up his “sword” to clear his name and save his family.

If only the villains were similarly overwritten. They’re just ...

White House Down was one of two action movies set in the nation’s capitol in 2013. And it is the far inferior one.

Despite costing $80 million more than Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down looks and plays like a cheap replica of the former. Its PG-13 rating is also watered down, robbing the film of any potential for over the top violence.

We thought this was America, damnit!

Now, sit back, lock and load an X Hero IPA from Revoluti...

Toy Soldiers is the proof that Samwise Gamgee isn't just a stupid, fat Hobbit. He was once a dickish prep school kid, who played by his own rules.

Despite his poor behaviors and utter disrespect for authority, he's also capable of heroic feats.

That is the central concept behind Toy Soldiers—trust fund kids versus Colombian terrorists. Like all Die Hard-inspired films, we know how it will end—improbably and with a dose of good old...

There are many things under siege in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory—the audience, Steven Seagal’s credibility as a tough guy, his belt, and the statutory laws of wherever they filmed.

None of those equate to an entertaining action movie, nor should they describe the sequel to a pretty solid film of the genre.

Yes, this movie sucks. But, it did essentially end the silly notion that Seagal was anything more than the blowhard that he a...

Filmed during the pandemic, 2025's War of the Worlds was shelved for four+ years before being foisted upon the unsuspecting public. This turd should've never been dusted off.

There is nothing less suspenseful than watching Ice Cube fluctuate between looking anxious, angry, disturbed, and smarmy whilst sitting at a computer screen.

Literally, that is the film.

Now, sit back, ease your migraine with a Hazy Sculpin from Ballast Point...