How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Brandon and Jon are back for one final bonus episode, and for this solemn occasion they're bringing two more torrid tales from the world of FH literature. In "Sugar and Spice Advice", idiot mop Stephanie decides she's old enough to run her own business before proceeding to run said business into the ground. Stephanie, you may be able to cook (under special circumstances), but the world of business? She ain't for you. She's ain't. F...

Ethan Link (co-host of the Don't Quote Me podcast) is a yummy little macaroon ally of the LGBT community and our FINAL honorary Rude Dude. But that doesn't mean we treated Ethan any differently, no-no-no, far from it. Ethan, like his 133 predecessors, had to watch a perilously awful bit of television, and that bit of television is known as "All Stood Up". Jesse and Kimmy are at war. DJ and Michelle a...

Will Biby (proud cat owner and former resident of Mulkeytown, IL) is our penultimate guest, which means he had to sit down and watch a particularly tiresome retread of an episode known as "Leap of Faith". Remember the what has to be nearly a dozen episodes in which Jesse worries about losing his mojo? Remember how in every single one of them he learns family is more important than risking your life for a cheap thrill? Well, now Bec...

Ballroom dancer and Holidazzle alumni Grace Pelzer joined us this week to watch and discuss "Up on the Roof", in which Joey's latest business venture proves to be his stupidest and DJ's attempt at campus levity results in a man's death. Wait, does it? Does this end with a murder? I can't really remember in hindsight. Look, there's a sweaty security guard and a principal who rocks a toupee, that much I do remember. Meanwhile, Brando...

Bo Durham is a master of confectionary creations and his redneck wedding is going to knock your socks off (because no one wears socks to a redneck wedding). He's an honest to God Wizard of Oz ruby red gem and we're so glad he joined us to discuss "Taking the Plunge". DJ didn't get into Stanford and she's bummed. Kimmy didn't get into a single school she applied to and she's genuinely depressed. Everyone cares about DJ, no one gives...

Bryan Duff doesn't understand why a World Class Stick Man like John Stamos has been relegated to TV while someone like George Clooney is considered an A-lister. What happened? What is George's secret? They were both on ER! We take a hard look at the 3rd Batman's resume while also discussing Don Rickles, lawnmowers, and how Gia is not Hillary Swank, who is herself not Jennifer Garner. Oh, and I suppos...

Bill Nielsen (host of the So Many Bits podcast) may wind up taking home the prize for Best Childhood Catchphrase. It's honest to God adorable and I would never spoil it here, you'll just have to exercise some patience and hear it for yourself! Bill joined us to watch and analyze "Dateless in San Francisco", in which Danny frets over a Valentine's Day date with Claire (who we never actually seen onscreen, in a clear display of cutti...

Alyssa Davis was a wave and a hungry American child. Alyssa Davis is a fan of her manatee, Mr. Jelly Bean. Alyssa Davis will always be a member of the How Rude! family. It's all true! This week we're watching / discussing / groaning over "Air Jesse", in which Jesse feels the sting of homophobia (for once) when it's revealed he knows absolutely nothing about basketball. Ha! Imagine! A man not knowing about basketball! To be fair, he...

Thomas Kelly is another proud member of the We Love Aunt Becky Fan Club. Aunt Becky is kind, smart, and a great mother. Aunt Becky is a beautiful, bodacious babe. And she deserves a hell of a lot more than the callous, petty monster that is Uncle Jesse. It's not like we needed more proof of this, per se, but "My Left and Right Foot" is more than willing to serve it up. It also makes more than a bit of time to examine Michelle's fra...

Chris Woolsey is pretty sure you can't waltz into a dive bar like Weeb's with a bunch of small children. He's pretty sure Aaron's father is a disgusting creep and he's pretty sure a hat that has its own HANDS is a fashion no-no. You know what we're pretty sure about? Scratch that, we're certain: Chris is a fabulous fellah and a fantastic honorary Rude Dude! This week we're discussing "Super Bowl Fun Day", in which Joey's decision t...

Christine Wines adores cooking shows, celebrity news, and a neoprene beer koozie. She's totally chill and nuts-o bananas, the perfect Rude Dude to have by your side while wading through "The Producer". Yes, once again we have to watch a wretched Danny Tanner wrestle with his own ego as Becky rises through the ranks of Wake Up, San Francisco. There's way too much going on at the periphery of this episode, from DJ and Stephanie's inf...

Lauren Walker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she is more than a little suspicious of the "park vandal" subplot that resides within "D.J.'s Choice". And for good reason, since it really, really reeks of white suburbanite disdain. But you know what cures white suburbanite disdain? Wiping. Wiping will cool the embers of this outrage. Quick, the rags! To the slide, everyone! WE MUST WIPE! Elsewhere, D.J. is being torn betwe...

Aasia LaShay Bullock and Jon are in agreement when it comes to Santa: He is not necessary. If you want to raise your children sans Claus, then you should do it and save yourself the trouble of spinning progressively more complicated lies. Brandon Shockney does not agree with this opinion. Brandon's grip on the joys of Santa is like that of a bear trap upon your very leg. It is unyielding. It is dangerous. And it is probably going t...

Kip "Kippy" Reiserer has so many genuinely great / mildly disturbing stories about living the frat life you'd need at least two Late Plates to get through them at all. He's just the Rude Dude you wanna have in the room when watching / discussing "Under the Influence", in which Kimmy acts like a total asshat at her first frat party and manages to dig up a ghost from DJ's past in the process. That's right, we're finally going to lear...

Lisa Beasley has mastered the escalators and navigated the mall and its many splendors. She is between five and six Subway sandwiches high and was slash is a fan of Full House, so does that make her an honorary Rude Dude? Yes, of course it does, you dumb dummy. She's great! We were so happy to have her by our side as we watched and discussed "Stephanie's Wild Ride", in which Steph and Gia meet a pair of impossibly stupid high schoo...

Take a peek at our forthcoming podcast venture with this special pilot recording! We tackle the last week in movie trailer releases and rate them according to a scientific system: Stub It, which means we'd pay to watch it on the big screen; Stream It, which means we'd be willing to rent or check it out via Netflix or a similar service; or Skip It, which means we're likely never going to see it in our lifetime. What do we cover in t...

Tyler Samples (Rabbit Hole: A Wikipedia Podcast / The tl;dm Podcast) only had access to ABC as a child, so his television diet consisted entirely of nothing but TGIF programming. He's seen 'em all, my puppies, and that includes "Claire and Present Danger". What's it about? It's about Claire. Well, no, it's not really about Claire. It's about how Claire dating Danny affects Michelle's position in the childhood peking order, and she'...

The boys are back and they're bearin' the books once more for a boo-tiful bonus ep, my bonnie babes! Jon kicks things off with a report on "Truth or Dare", the first in a Club Stephanie trilogy in which the middle Tanner sister finds herself caught between romance and professional aspirations while at Camp Sailaway. Can she achieve her CIT dreams and capture the hearts of a lovely, luscious, oh so lickity-splickity Luke? Jon will n...

Megan Brennan may not be the genetic equal of the Olsen twins, despite what her mother may say, but she knew the importance of rules from an early age and how optimism can help you avoid life's phantoms. The world can be a terrifying place, what with the terror of Sneaky Petes, the terror of chicken nugget babies, and the terror of improvising your steps at an Irish feis. That's why we needed Megan as we watched "On the Road Again"...