April 23, 2025 • 36 mins
Links:
Book a call: https://www.innerconfidence.com/community
Get NewBrew: https://www.drinknewbrew.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 "Overcoming Approach Anxiety"
07:53 Warm Up to Combat Anxiety
10:50 "Approaching Women Mistakes"
15:21 "Smooth Pickup Line Strategy"
17:47 "Start Small to Practice Dating"
20:59 Instant Date: From Sidewalk to Coffee
24:09 Public Flirting Etiquette Tips
27:11 Wingman Strategy for Dating
31:26 Master Day Game: 500 Approaches
34:38 Mastering Social Approaches
36:04 "Apply to Join Community"
Connect w/ Robbie:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robbie_kramer/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@robbie.kramer
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/innerconfidence
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So picture you're out grabbing your morning coffee, and across
the street you spot somebody amazing.
Just your type. Maybe she's a brunette, maybe a
redhead. I don't know what you're into,
but your mind races. You want to talk to her, but you
do nothing. The moment passes and you walk
away feeling that regret. There's a way to meet women and
get dates like this that's kind of like a superpower that most
(00:21):
men will never possess. And in today's episode, you're
going to learn how to get past your anxiety, which stops you
from doing this. Then I'm going to show you the
most common ways that guys screwthis up, which is going to
sabotage all your efforts. And then I'm going to give you a
super simple script that you canmemorize.
It's going to feel totally authentic and allow you to meet
women with ease. Lastly, I'm going to tell you
what sort of results you can expect to get from mastering the
(00:44):
skill. How it kind of compares and
stacks up against the other methods and avenues to meet
women like dating apps, bars andclubs, singles events,
matchmakers, or through your social circle.
You're listening to the Inner Confidence podcast.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
helped countless men rapidly achieve all of their social and
dating goals. My mission is simple, to help
(01:06):
you position yourself to meet stunning women, make awesome
friends in route to becoming themost confident and attractive
version you can possibly be. I'm absolutely obsessed with
giving you the most leverage ways possible to win the game to
stick around. Let's go.
So I remember the first really cute girl I ever successfully
dated from day game. I was living in New York City,
walking through Bryant Park, andI was with my dog Wiley, and I
(01:29):
spotted this Petit brunette. She was reading a book, sitting
alone like at a coffee table, and I felt this pull to do it.
I probably walked by her two or three times and I almost
chickened out, but I had the voice of my wing man in the back
of my head and he was basically calling me a huge pussy.
This guy approached women all the time which made me feel like
(01:49):
I should probably be doing it too.
So I walked over and the openingline I remember using was like
hey so this is random but I saw you sitting here and I would
have been kicking myself all dayif I didn't come over to meet
you. So having a dog was a super hack
because she turned out to be a dog lover.
She immediately started asking me questions about Wiley.
She started like petting and playing with them.
We chatted for maybe a minute ortwo.
(02:11):
I think she was mentioning that she was a dentist or trained to
be a dentist. She was from Greece, living in
NYC for the summer. I told her I just moved there
and I really started to feel myself getting nervous and
running out of things to say. So I remember getting her number
and leaving before that happened.
I texted her a couple days later, I set up a date and we
(02:32):
met for a coffee and I brought Wiley again to that date and
this time I felt way more at ease because I already knew she
was interested otherwise she wouldn't be on the date.
Then the following week, one of my friends was hosting a dinner
party, that same wing man I mentioned and he was there with
his girl and there was another buddy with his girl.
So I brought this girl, which was, you know, us and two other
(02:55):
couples and we had a great time and we ended up dating until she
left for Greece that summer. It was like an amazing summer
fling, right? Prior to this, I was wasting
tons of time swiping on the dating apps.
And after this experience, I kind of got off the apps
completely and my dating life really took off because I really
had this power to replicate thissuccess.
(03:16):
So in this episode, I'm going toshow you the exact steps to pull
this off with consistency with girls that are way more
attractive than you'll be able to get online.
So first, let's talk about why you're not already doing this.
And the answer is because of fear.
You know, approach anxiety is a very real thing.
I've worked with hundreds of clients over the years on this,
(03:37):
and virtually none of them were able to consistently approach
women sober in broad daylight before paying for training.
You know, some of those guys went to other coaches and
trainers before me. Sometimes I was the 1st and I
was the same way. I couldn't do it either.
I even took a boot camp that taught me to do it and then I
still couldn't do it. And then I took another boot
(03:58):
camp and I still couldn't do it.It was wasn't until I actually
became like an approaching coachfor this company where I was,
you know, basically my, my job was to help other guys to
approach. Then I had to demonstrate.
And then that's when I actually consistently started doing it.
The problem was those boot campsare spread out over like months
(04:18):
in between. There wasn't any sort of
accountability or like ways to make it stick in between.
So I could do it in that environment, but then I would
just go back home, you know, without that support system, and
I wouldn't be able to do it. Really.
What gives guys anxiety? It's twofold.
It's not really socially acceptable to approach women
randomly. So we're conditioned that this
is a major risk, similar to public speaking, and it could
(04:41):
lead from our banishment from the tribe, right?
It's like a primal fear and it'sdeep rooted into our psyche, but
it can be overcome quite easily.And the second part of the fear
is that it's kind of coming fromnot having any sort of plan and
feeling like even if you did go up and do it, you'd stumble over
your words. You might not even know what to
say at all. You'd make a fool of yourself.
(05:02):
So I'm going to give you that exact plan in a moment here.
But think of day game as a muscle and you've got to warm
yourself up or you're risking injury.
In this case, it's your ego. And if you don't warm up, you're
going to get such brutal rejections that you won't ever
do it again. Real quick new brew.
If you haven't tried this stuff it is amazing.
It's alcohol free. It's made from Preda and Kava
(05:25):
root. My buddy Justin and his wife
Simona who came on the podcast afew times started this company.
I'm trying to not really drink alcohol anymore.
I only need one of these to feellike the effects.
Maria, my wife drinks these every time she goes golfing and
it just chills her out, makes her feel amazing.
So you're trying to stay up the booze and you still want to feel
good? Give Nuru a shot.
(05:47):
The link is in the description there.
So I have a series of warm up exercises that will get you in a
social mood that will allow you to really overcome approach
anxiety. And they're very simple, like
none of this stuff is rocket science, but you have to do it.
So the first is to simply say hito the next 5 to 10 people who
walk by, right? Just to, hey, how's it going?
(06:08):
You know, a little head nod or you can do, hey, good afternoon,
good morning, good evening, whatever time it is.
And that's going to take you maybe 5-10 minutes, right?
And the point is to kind of do it rapid fire like everyone you
see. And I literally just coach
someone through this exact issuejust a couple days ago.
So this is our Discord community.
There's a whole system in place to help you level up, from our
belt system to our weekly Zoom calls.
(06:30):
Plus, members get exclusive access to things like the
organized girl advice threads, where you'll be guided with
specific real time advice for your specific girls and the
ability to post recordings of your approaches and other
interactions, screenshots to getdirect feedback on things like
texting, fashion advice, you name it.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
And the best part? It's a place where you get real
(06:51):
time feedback, accountability, and tons of support from other
members all around the globe. If you've been in a community
before, I guarantee it's nothinglike this one.
I only accept successful, motivated guys who want to reach
the highest levels of personal development and game.
So if you're a total noob or a tire kicker, this is probably
not going to be a good fit for you.
You'll discover all the other benefits when you join.
So if you're looking to take your game in the next level,
(07:13):
this could be the place for you.The second exercise is you're
going to walk up to somebody in front of a landmark like a store
or a Starbucks for example, and ask them where the nearest
Starbucks is, right? So like, hey, you know where
Starbucks is and they're going to be like right here.
Like, yeah, I know, I'm just kidding around.
Have a good day. Or if they're standing on Santa
(07:34):
Monica Blvd. you can be like, hey, can you, can you help me
out? I'm looking for directions to
Santa Monica Blvd. They'll be like, you're on Santa
Monica Blvd. So this is going to get you in
a, a funny, like social mood. And it's very important that you
actually do these first because they're going to put you in a
flow state. They're going to make you enjoy
approaching. So do not skip these.
You can't logically get into theflow state without putting
(07:57):
yourself there by doing these warmups, right?
It's like if you just immediately go to the gym and
you start doing like the heaviest weight lifting thing
you're going to do, right? You start doing deadlifts with
your Max weight, you're going tofucking, you know, injure
yourself badly. And it's not going to happen
physically with a game. It's going to happen mentally,
which is arguably worse. So that's how to combat approach
(08:20):
anxiety. Don't start with a hard thing.
Warm up. And if you tried these sorts of
things and you still haven't been able to approach, you're
likely dealing with some other deep seeded issues.
And I'd recommend working with an expert because you're not
likely to make progress on your own.
And don't beat yourself up aboutthat either.
I was one of those guys. So next I want to show you the
most common ways guys screw their approaches up.
(08:41):
And if you master clean body language, a clear voice,
friendly eye contact, you're going to dodge pretty much every
trap on this list. So first, let's go over the
easiest scenario, which is she'ssitting alone drinking a coffee,
and you don't really have to worry about anyone overhearing
the conversation. So here's common mistake number
one. Hey, how's it going?
(09:02):
What's going on? My name's Robbie.
I think. I think you're really pretty.
Where sorry I need to go. Where are you going?
I just wanted to say hi. So what I was doing here, I was
invading her personal space, showing very poor social skills.
Here's common mistake #2 hey, how's it going?
I'm Robbie, wanted to come meet you.
(09:25):
What's your name? I'm sorry, I'm waiting for my
friend. She's going to come in like 5
minutes. Oh, but I just wanted to I have
5 minutes, right? Anyways, where are you from?
What do you? Do I'm sorry I just wait for my
friend is it OK? Yeah.
Can we just talk in the meantime?
No. No.
Can I? Can I have your number?
No. OK.
(09:48):
You sure? I'm rich that.
Was. So.
So there I was, talking too fast, I was being pushy,
assuming that I could just sit down, and the obvious awkward
flexing of wealth. Here's common mistake #3 hi, I
(10:10):
just had to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl I've
seen all day. My name's Robbie.
I wanted to. I'm sorry.
I'm waiting for my boyfriend. Can you please leave?
OK. You sure you have a boyfriend?
OK, here I was being way too interested, overly serious and
(10:34):
formal. I was complimenting her beauty,
which is very simpy sort of behavior.
And obviously it was the way I did it as well.
So I'm going to show you the proper approach in a second.
But first, let's discuss the most common scenario you'll
encounter, which is a woman who's walking on her way
somewhere. And usually, you know, women are
not just going to be like, slowly meandering through a
(10:55):
park. They're going to be walking
pretty quickly with intention, and stopping them is a lot more
difficult than you would think. Guys screw this up badly.
So common mistake #1 excuse me? OK, here I was, awkwardly
tapping her on the shoulder frombehind.
(11:16):
Common mistake #2 Hey, excuse me, excuse me, Here I was
shouting at her to stop. Common mistake #3 Excuse me one
second, one SEC, I just want to talk to you here.
(11:40):
I was blocking her path like a bouncer.
Common mistake #4 Excuse me one second here I was being way too
passive. I was speaking in a very meek,
soft voice. Common mistake #5 hey, how you
doing? What's going on?
What are you up to today? Can you just stop and talk for
(12:02):
like one second? Here I was walking alongside
her. And she'll really have no idea
how long I'm going to continue doing that.
And that will not put her at ease.
It'll make her want to run away.Common mistake number six.
Excuse me? Oh my God.
(12:22):
One SEC, I just wanted to come meet you.
This one should be obvious. I'm grabbing at her arm and
that's not going to make anyone feel comfortable.
Common mistake #7 Hey, sorry. One SEC I just wanted to tell
you that I think you're really cute here.
(12:43):
I'm talking to her from too far away and I'm making it really
easy for her to ignore you. Remember, you only get one
chance to make a great first impression.
So 1st I'm going to show you howto stop a girl using the hook
and swoop technique. So I'm going to demonstrate how
to properly stop a girl who's walking using the hook and swoop
technique. All right, so if she's walking
towards me, I might just be likestop because that's intrusive
(13:05):
and weird. So instead I'm going to let her
as she's walking past me and tryto make eye contact if I got it,
that's a really good sign. Make sure the the booty is nice.
Oh my God. And then I'm going to chase
after her. So walk super slow motion so I
can do it in slow motion slower.That's not super slow motion.
(13:27):
Super slow motion exactly. So I'm going to run around while
I point backwards. Hey one SEC me pointing makes
her think that she dropped her wallet or something and then
once I have the eye contact I'm going to deliver my opening
line. So here it is in full speed.
(13:48):
Hey one SEC I saw you and I had to risk embarrassing the hell
out of myself to meet you. OK, that's something new.
Robbie. Maria.
You look like you're busy. I'm late for a meeting.
How about this? Give me your number.
You don't like me, give me a fake one.
OK, never. Heard everything first time for
everything. Right.
(14:10):
You get a lot of weird lines, yeah.
This one this good. One was original.
Yeah. All right, I'll.
I'll text you. Nice to meet you.
OK, Nice. See you later.
Bye. Now, I'm going to teach you the
easiest and most authentic script to use.
So these are technically lines that you can memorize, but
they're never going to feel likecheesy pickup lines because
they're effectively just callingout what you're doing, which
shows a combination of social awareness and humor.
(14:32):
So once you got her attention, you're going to tell her why
you're talking to her while alsoacknowledging the fact that what
you're doing goes against standard social protocol.
And this really answers the two most important questions any
woman will have in her mind, which are one, am I in danger?
And two, what does he want from me?
And if you've delivered the lines correctly, you'll probably
get like a chuckle, a smile. And next I'm going to introduce
(14:55):
myself. But to give a time constraint,
this answers her next question, which is how long is this guy
going to try and take up my time?
And if she likes you instantly because you're her type, she may
not mind, right? She may be very eager to talk to
you. But if she's not yet sure, which
is 99.9% of the women you're going to meet, she will
appreciate this and she's going to feel at ease because you told
(15:17):
her you can only stay for a second.
Then you're going to tell her ina hurry.
So then you're going to basically use a funny line to
get her number. And this will make the, the, the
clothes, you know, which is potentially the most awkward
part, easy and fun. When you walk away, she's
probably going to feel like, Oh my God, what just happened?
That guy was so cool and smooth and mysterious, and I wanted to
talk to him more. So she's going to be eagerly
awaiting your text at that point.
(15:39):
So here's how I would do it if she's sitting at a coffee shop.
Hey, one SEC not to be that guy that, like, tries to flirt with
you while you're sitting here drinking coffee, but I got to be
that guy. Give me like 30 seconds to give
you my sales pitch. OK, What's your name?
(16:00):
Maria. Maria, I'm Robbie.
Nice to meet you too. What are you up to today?
I'm seeing my friend. She's late, as always.
Oh, nice. Well, bad friend.
You're going to yell at her? Of course.
Well, I don't want to keep you. I've got to run to a meeting.
But how about this? Give me your number.
If you don't like me, give me a fake one.
(16:21):
OK, there you go. Here you go.
Awesome. Nice to meet you, Maria.
You. Remember my name, right?
Bye. Bye bye.
Hey one SEC I saw you and I had to risk embarrassing the hell
out of myself to come beat you. OK.
(16:43):
I'm Robbie. Maria.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
You look like you're in a rush. You off to workout or something?
I'm actually after my yoga class.
Oh, nice. Well, I don't want to keep you.
I've got to run to a meeting actually, but love to, you know,
talk more. How about this?
Give me your number. If you don't like me, give me a
fake one. OK, I hope you're not going to
call me right away to see if it's fake or not.
(17:05):
Well, better not be fake. I won't call you.
Calling is weird. I'll text you.
Yeah, I. Agree.
OK, here's my number. All right, thanks for the fake
number. See you later.
So after seeing those two demos,you might feel like those
interactions were too short and there wasn't enough time to
build a connection. You know, there are a lot of day
game systems taught by their coaches out there which are
(17:27):
elaborate and they go into skills like bantering,
qualifying, push pull, cold reading, etcetera, and all that
stuff is great and totally valid.
All good things to learn, but trying to incorporate all of it
into an approach if you're new to this is going to completely
overwhelm you. I've been coaching day games
since 2006. It's been almost 20 years.
(17:47):
So trust me when I say that the worst thing you can do is try to
bite off more than you can chew with this stuff.
So if you want to practice conversation skills, the best
place to do that is on a date. That is literally what they're
for. You're just asking a lot from
both yourself and a woman you literally just met to try and
have some sort of really enjoyable conversation out of
(18:08):
nowhere on a sidewalk. Now, I'm not saying if you're an
advanced conversationalist, you shouldn't, you know, try to
continue the conversation. I mean, you should get to the
point where you're going to feelyourself kind of like running
out of shit to say or getting nervous.
And you can always, you know, just eject, use that fake number
line at that point. I'm just saying if you haven't
done day game a lot, you're going to be way more effective
(18:30):
at getting numbers and getting over approach anxiety and
getting good at this. If you do those short style
elevator pitch approaches that Ijust demonstrated, both the
sitting one and the standing 1, you know, you're busy, she's
busy. You have a perfectly valid
reason why you can't stay in chat, but there is plenty of a
dynamic there that she's going to be comfortable going on a
(18:51):
date with you from this shorter interaction alone, plus a few
witty texts back and forth. You know, keep in mind, a 45
second interaction like this is going to tell her exponentially
more about you than an online dating message exchange and
texting right? Like the When you meet someone
in person, you get to feel theirvibe and their energy.
That's so much more powerful andlikely to result in a date than
(19:14):
an online encounter. So in essence, don't knock this
until you try it. I was way more successful with
these short approaches than eventhe longer ones, even though I'm
a really good conversationalist.So if a girl's really keen on
continuing the conversation rather than just chatting on the
sidewalk, I will effectively pitch her on an instant date.
So here's an example of that that I got back in the day.
(19:38):
Hey, I was waiting for a friend over there and I saw you walk by
and I thought I got to embarrassthe hell out of myself to come
flirt with this girl. Hi.
I'm Robbie. Tanya.
Nice to meet you. Tanya.
Trying to. Sell me like hair stuff.
I swear to God, I have no hair stuff to sell you.
I don't even have a lot of hair.Nice to meet you.
(20:01):
Yeah. What are you up?
To I work. I'm actually on my way back to
work. Yeah, yeah.
I work around here. What do you what about?
You, I was just going to meet a friend and he's late, so.
OK, so Tanya walked by. I'm like, yeah, you just kind
of. All right, so make your case.
Then all right, you ready for the sales pitch?
It's a little cold out here and we're standing in front of a
(20:23):
parking lot and I feel like I'm about to get run over.
So two options. Either we talk over there by the
weird ass wall. Yeah, that.
Sounds good. All right.
This is our first date. I've never been on a date in
front of this wall before, but I'm excited.
But you haven't been on like a 15.
(20:43):
Minute date either, so I don't think I have.
I didn't think I'd even get 15 minutes.
OK, well we'll see. Maybe we'll cage at 10.
Or maybe. I might get cold after six, so
if I run, these are cool little glove things.
Yeah. What do you do?
So we ended up having, you know,probably a 5 minute conversation
(21:04):
there and then went on a date the next day at the Starbucks
right around the corner. So that's an example of how you
can effectively, you know, go from talking on the sidewalk to,
hey, let's just, you know, rather than talking here, let's
grab a quick coffee, right? And if she's giving you a lot of
interest and really stopping andplanting and seems like she's
(21:24):
down to hang out right then and there, then an instant date can
be a great thing to do. But again, get comfortable
getting over anxiety first before you try something like
that. Now, one other example I want to
show is from another creator. His name is Demmo, who has a
great technique for approaching by calling out what she's
wearing. So here is that video.
(21:45):
Denim jacket. I don't.
I don't know you. What?
I just called you denim jacket. OK.
Yeah, I don't know your name. Solid jacket.
Your name's. Oh, I thought it was solid.
I'm Jack. Yeah, we're we're close.
What? Pink pants.
Sorry. Pink pants.
These are purple. Hey, listen, I don't know you.
(22:06):
Yeah. Do you know me?
No. Do you want to?
Sure. What's your?
Name Purple hair. I don't know you.
No, you don't. But I want to.
What's your name? Maddie, what's your SO?
There you have it. He's got a great vibe about him.
He's very playful. He's very chill, very low key,
(22:26):
but also confident and sure of himself.
So that's the vibe that you're going for, right?
What what matters more than anything is, is your vibe.
And the only way to get a good vibe is to practice and get in
the reps. So one more thing I want to show
because so many of you guys are dealing with women abroad.
Maybe you're living abroad, maybe you're digital nomads or
maybe you're travelling and that's how to approach.
(22:49):
If the odds are pretty good thatshe does not speak English, I'm
going to show you what not to doand then what to do here.
You're travelling in a foreign country.
This is the worst possible opening line you could use.
Excuse me. Excuse me, do you speak English?
No. Are you sure?
(23:14):
Don't ask her if she speaks English because she's just going
to say no. So do this instead.
Hey one SEC I saw you and I had to risk embarrassing myself to
come over here and meet you. Sorry I I don't speak English.
Oh, I love you. We get married.
(23:41):
Yes. No ring.
I see no ring here. OK, You put phone number, I text
you name. Maria.
Maria, Robbie, bye. Bye.
(24:01):
All right, The last situation I wanna go over is what I call the
node opener. And this content is from the
members area in the Air Confidence community.
And that's if you're in a situation where if you hit on
her, there's gonna be a bunch ofother people within earshot.
And it might be really potentially awkward for her.
Like an example would be a Subway or train car in line at
(24:25):
the grocery store or a really crowded coffee shop.
Or maybe if she's working, like,you know, she's a service
industry worker working and there's other coworkers around
or other people around. So to save her from
embarrassment. Not that I'd be embarrassed to
do it. It's more about saving her from
embarrassment. I read a note on my phone and I
hand it to her and it's funny, it's creative and it works a
(24:47):
really high percentage of the time, believe it or not.
The only downside is, you know, sometimes it's it's you need a
little bit of preparation. But that's why it's great to
have some of these like pre written out on your phone.
And sometimes you have the time,sometimes you don't.
So here's a couple examples. One, this is a hello.
You came up to my register to help me with a return.
And in my head I said, hey, thisgirl's cute.
(25:08):
I know you're busy here at work,so I didn't want to make it
glaringly obvious that I'm hitting on you.
You have a few options. A I can leave and go die in
grease fire. My mother will be sad as his
Mother's Day. B, you can give me your phone
number. C if you don't like me, you can
give me a fake one. Let's say you and she responded
here. You know I handed this to her so
that only because this was adorable put her number.
My name is Izzy. Here's another one.
(25:28):
This one was kind of like preloaded and I am Robbie.
I have a crush on you. Please choose an option below.
Give me your number or a fake one if you think I'm ugly.
If you think I'm ugly or a loserfor hitting on you in the gym,
tell me you have a boyfriend. If you choose option two, I will
drown myself in the nearest pooland then another one.
I use this one on a Southwest flight back in 2015 and I had
(25:48):
the time to write this out because she was like the funny
flight attendant giving the announcements over the PA.
So I waited until I walked off the plane and handed this to her
as I passed right before exiting.
So I said dear funny flight attendant, this note will take
you 16 seconds to read. I'm sure you get hit on 10,000
times a day by assholes while working, but I figured I'd take
my chances. And B #10,000 and one, I wrote
(26:09):
the note instead of just tellingyou this because I didn't feel
like embarrassing myself. And from everyone walking off
this plane guessing you have to turn this plane around.
So please choose one option below.
A Give me your number B Give me a fake number.
C Instruct me to fall to jetway.She put her number there and her
name Miriam. Here's another one I did when I
was dating a bisexual girl namedGenevieve.
(26:30):
So she's I wrote this dear blonde at the bar.
Not to be too aggressive, but mygirlfriend and I are slightly
obsessed with your butt. Pick an option.
One right number here 2 Tell us you're dating the guy to your
right. We won't believe you. 3 right in
other rejection here I'm dating his friend.
But both of you are hot. That's what she wrote.
So those are the note openers toconsistently get dates from
(26:52):
this. Remember, you need to put in the
reps Most guys need to do about 50 to 100 approaches to shake
off the nervous energy and to get comfortable with rejection.
So you're going to screw up the stop.
You're going to have weak body language, you're going to speak
too softly or you're going to forget the lines.
So give yourself permission to suck.
And the best way to do this is with a wing man and to take
(27:14):
turns approaching. You know the cute girls you see
after each approach, you're going to laugh with your wing
man about how you crashed and burned, and that's going to turn
a negative experience into a +1.In my community, I pair guys up
to go out and approach together whenever possible.
If there's no one available in or no other members in the city,
what I'll do is I'll help facilitate wingman calls between
(27:35):
members. So at least you can be on the
phone with a buddy while you're out doing this on your own.
Lastly, let's talk about what results you can expect from
this. So I have personally done
somewhere between 2 and 3000 daygame approaches.
And I also have the data on about 200 clients who have
trained in my community with an approach tracking tool that I
developed circa 2021. So I'm going to share that
(27:58):
screen right here. So what this tool does, you pull
it up on your phone and it geolocates you.
So you can see where I'm recording this right now in LA
because that's where it is. But obviously if you're on your
phone, you're out knows where you are and it creates a
database here of all of your approaches and you know the
location, the time and the progress, right?
(28:21):
So after you approached, you cansay I approached, I conversed
with her, I got contact info, she responded to my text, she
agreed to a first date. We went on a first date, we
kissed, we had sex and we're having a recurring sex and the
status either it's dead, she left you on red, you're icing
her, maybe you'll you're circling back, you're staying
(28:42):
top of mind or it's just alive. So what this does is ultimately
it creates stats. Now, of course, I don't have
many stats on here because I haven't done a whole lot of day
games since I was, you know, in a relationship since I developed
this. But we could pull up someone
else from the program and we canlook at their stats together.
(29:03):
So I I have impersonation abilities here.
So let's choose a user. Let's go with He's done a lot of
fun approaches. Why don't we go with here are
stats. You can see since he joined the
program he has done a lot of approaches.
(29:27):
Gee golly, 529 approaches, location, EDC, Sherman Oaks, the
Grove Farm Cup and then what we have down here are the stats.
And this is the interesting part.
These numbers in black are what I consider par and par, just
like in golf is a score that is very hard to get.
(29:48):
Basically if you're professional, you should shoot
around even par. So if you're getting par or
around par, it means you are a very good day gamer.
This is the one we want. So if you approach her, what
this is measuring did you converse with her and par on
that is 90%. Nine out of 10 girls you
approach should stop and have a conversation.
If that's not happening, you're not stopping her correctly like
(30:11):
I showed. So he's he's right at par here
getting contact info. If you're really good at day
game, you should get the contactinfo about half the time, right?
And he's right around 40%. She should respond to that
initial text half the time. So half the girls that you get
their number, half should respond.
He's a little bit below that, which means he's getting a
little bit of pity numbers. If she responds to a text, she
should agree to a date at least 60% of the time to show if
(30:34):
you're texting is good or not. You can see he's a little below
par there. So pretty good texting then.
Did she go on the date if she agreed to the date?
And certainly she did. So that's another measure of
texting and he's well above par there.
Did he kiss her on the date? You should be kissing about 75%
(30:56):
of the girls on the first date if your game is good and he's
doing better than that, so that's awesome.
Do you ultimately get to sex if you take a girl out on a date?
Well, not saying on that date, but you should ultimately sleep
with close to 100% of the girls you get on a date with.
That's why the par is at 90 and he's below that, which means his
something's going on in terms ofmiddle game for him and he's
(31:19):
losing some leads. But that's a very important
dictator here. I'm going to talk to him about
that. And then if you had sex once, do
you have recurring sex? And that should be happening 8
out of 10 times. He's slightly below that.
So overall, for you know, this is an amazing way to track
someone's progress in game and it really allows me to see what
the sticking points are. So let's talk about how many
(31:44):
approaches the average guy needsto do before day game becomes a
working dating funnel for him. For most guys, it takes about
500 approaches to become competent at this skill.
You can see was was pretty good right around you know, he's a
little bit over 500 approaches. So some guys get lucky and they
start getting dates on their first handful approaches.
And in my community, I suggest guys do 25 approaches per week.
(32:08):
This is kind of like the magic number that will get you good at
this in under 6 months. If you already have solid social
skills, you're a high status guywith good fashion, good
physique, you could be crushing this like right off the bat,
right? The big benefit a day game and
approaching in real life is it'sreally a rite of passage.
Kind of like becoming a man, right?
(32:30):
If you're afraid to make yourself vulnerable and you're
ashamed of your attraction towards women, you're never
gonna date a woman who's in demand by their men.
As simple as that. High value women are massively
turned off by fear. So think of day game as one of
the foundational exercises of game, like deadlifts as a
foundational exercise of weightlifting.
It's the best thing you can do to see results and get strong if
(32:52):
you have the right technique in form.
I've seen countless physically attractive and rich dudes
brutally fail with women becausetheir seduction skills were poor
and the answer to solving that problem was day game.
It's really what allowed them toshed their inauthentic nice guy
acts come out of their shell, and it's really the thing that
turned them into beasts that they were capable of.
(33:14):
So at the end of the day, approaching women shouldn't be
an isolated thing you occasionally do when a wingman
or a coach like pushes you to doit.
It should be a go to instinct that when you see a beautiful
girl, you just go do it right? And if you can get into the
state, you'll never have a shortage of beautiful women in
your as dating options in your life.
(33:36):
But the only way to get there iswith deliberate practice and you
got to put in the reps and that's going to require a
concerted effort and accountability to get over the
fear, to troubleshoot your sticking points, and to make it
a habit and eventually a lifestyle.
So that's why a lot of the guys join my program.
They understand that they're going to be held accountable
week in a week out to those goals.
(33:56):
Sometimes if guys don't do what they say, I force them to put
their money where their mouth isand make a bet.
Then they do it or they lose themoney.
Unfortunately for me, they really almost never lose these
bets. And that's because they make
them bet an amount of money they're not willing to lose.
And that's really the easiest way to get anyone to do
anything, by the way, is to create a much worse outcome for
not doing it. So, you know, there's there you
(34:19):
have it. It's kind of really all you need
to know to master the skill of approaching a beautiful woman in
real life where very few guys have the balls to do it.
So of course, there's other scenarios as well.
I'm not going to go over on thisepisode like what if she's with
friends or she's on the phone orshe's driving or she has a dog
or you have a dog or whatever. If you just master these three
simple scenarios, which are she's sitting by herself, she's
(34:42):
walking, and three, she's sitting in a busy environment
where approaching might make herfeel totally uncomfortable.
You master those 3 scenarios, you'll be off to the races.
Just use the easy pitch I gave you.
Get the number, leave. Then you can use your texting
and dating skills, which are gonna be a lot easier than the
actual cold approach. So I have many other infield
(35:03):
videos I've done back in the daythat obviously aren't on my wife
before I was married that I can show you.
Just leave a comment with the scenario you need help with and
I'll hook you up. All right, till next time guys
tears. Out of all the guys I know, the
only ones who managed to consistently win the game are
those who built and invested in a high status social circle.
You can certainly approach womenand try your luck on the apps if
(35:26):
you're a Chad, but those strategies simply don't work
consistently to attract top tierwomen and awesome friends in
your life. But for most guys, the idea of
building a social circle can feel overwhelming.
So they continue to hunt for women in their usual ways and
end up settling for a girl they were never really that excited
about in the 1st place. To avoid this fate, join our
community and instantly plug into a highly vetted social
circle of cool dudes to network and navigate your journey with.
(35:49):
You already know it's hard to find wing men because the good
ones don't stay in the game verylong.
Many of our members travel together, end up living
together, build amazing circles and even businesses together
both in the West and in many of the best locations around the
globe. With gorgeous women and low cost
of living, I'm extremely carefulwho I let into this community,
but if you feel like you'd make a good fit, you can apply to
join the links in the description.
So picture you're out grabbing your morning coffee, and across
the street you spot somebody amazing.
Just your type. Maybe she's a brunette, maybe a
redhead. I don't know what you're into,
but your mind races. You want to talk to her, but you
do nothing. The moment passes and you walk
away feeling that regret. There's a way to meet women and
get dates like this that's kind of like a superpower that most
(00:21):
men will never possess. And in today's episode, you're
going to learn how to get past your anxiety, which stops you
from doing this. Then I'm going to show you the
most common ways that guys screwthis up, which is going to
sabotage all your efforts. And then I'm going to give you a
super simple script that you canmemorize.
It's going to feel totally authentic and allow you to meet
women with ease. Lastly, I'm going to tell you
what sort of results you can expect to get from mastering the
(00:44):
skill. How it kind of compares and
stacks up against the other methods and avenues to meet
women like dating apps, bars andclubs, singles events,
matchmakers, or through your social circle.
You're listening to the Inner Confidence podcast.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
helped countless men rapidly achieve all of their social and
dating goals. My mission is simple, to help
(01:06):
you position yourself to meet stunning women, make awesome
friends in route to becoming themost confident and attractive
version you can possibly be. I'm absolutely obsessed with
giving you the most leverage ways possible to win the game to
stick around. Let's go.
So I remember the first really cute girl I ever successfully
dated from day game. I was living in New York City,
walking through Bryant Park, andI was with my dog Wiley, and I
(01:29):
spotted this Petit brunette. She was reading a book, sitting
alone like at a coffee table, and I felt this pull to do it.
I probably walked by her two or three times and I almost
chickened out, but I had the voice of my wing man in the back
of my head and he was basically calling me a huge pussy.
This guy approached women all the time which made me feel like
(01:49):
I should probably be doing it too.
So I walked over and the openingline I remember using was like
hey so this is random but I saw you sitting here and I would
have been kicking myself all dayif I didn't come over to meet
you. So having a dog was a super hack
because she turned out to be a dog lover.
She immediately started asking me questions about Wiley.
She started like petting and playing with them.
We chatted for maybe a minute ortwo.
(02:11):
I think she was mentioning that she was a dentist or trained to
be a dentist. She was from Greece, living in
NYC for the summer. I told her I just moved there
and I really started to feel myself getting nervous and
running out of things to say. So I remember getting her number
and leaving before that happened.
I texted her a couple days later, I set up a date and we
(02:32):
met for a coffee and I brought Wiley again to that date and
this time I felt way more at ease because I already knew she
was interested otherwise she wouldn't be on the date.
Then the following week, one of my friends was hosting a dinner
party, that same wing man I mentioned and he was there with
his girl and there was another buddy with his girl.
So I brought this girl, which was, you know, us and two other
(02:55):
couples and we had a great time and we ended up dating until she
left for Greece that summer. It was like an amazing summer
fling, right? Prior to this, I was wasting
tons of time swiping on the dating apps.
And after this experience, I kind of got off the apps
completely and my dating life really took off because I really
had this power to replicate thissuccess.
(03:16):
So in this episode, I'm going toshow you the exact steps to pull
this off with consistency with girls that are way more
attractive than you'll be able to get online.
So first, let's talk about why you're not already doing this.
And the answer is because of fear.
You know, approach anxiety is a very real thing.
I've worked with hundreds of clients over the years on this,
(03:37):
and virtually none of them were able to consistently approach
women sober in broad daylight before paying for training.
You know, some of those guys went to other coaches and
trainers before me. Sometimes I was the 1st and I
was the same way. I couldn't do it either.
I even took a boot camp that taught me to do it and then I
still couldn't do it. And then I took another boot
(03:58):
camp and I still couldn't do it.It was wasn't until I actually
became like an approaching coachfor this company where I was,
you know, basically my, my job was to help other guys to
approach. Then I had to demonstrate.
And then that's when I actually consistently started doing it.
The problem was those boot campsare spread out over like months
(04:18):
in between. There wasn't any sort of
accountability or like ways to make it stick in between.
So I could do it in that environment, but then I would
just go back home, you know, without that support system, and
I wouldn't be able to do it. Really.
What gives guys anxiety? It's twofold.
It's not really socially acceptable to approach women
randomly. So we're conditioned that this
is a major risk, similar to public speaking, and it could
(04:41):
lead from our banishment from the tribe, right?
It's like a primal fear and it'sdeep rooted into our psyche, but
it can be overcome quite easily.And the second part of the fear
is that it's kind of coming fromnot having any sort of plan and
feeling like even if you did go up and do it, you'd stumble over
your words. You might not even know what to
say at all. You'd make a fool of yourself.
(05:02):
So I'm going to give you that exact plan in a moment here.
But think of day game as a muscle and you've got to warm
yourself up or you're risking injury.
In this case, it's your ego. And if you don't warm up, you're
going to get such brutal rejections that you won't ever
do it again. Real quick new brew.
If you haven't tried this stuff it is amazing.
It's alcohol free. It's made from Preda and Kava
(05:25):
root. My buddy Justin and his wife
Simona who came on the podcast afew times started this company.
I'm trying to not really drink alcohol anymore.
I only need one of these to feellike the effects.
Maria, my wife drinks these every time she goes golfing and
it just chills her out, makes her feel amazing.
So you're trying to stay up the booze and you still want to feel
good? Give Nuru a shot.
(05:47):
The link is in the description there.
So I have a series of warm up exercises that will get you in a
social mood that will allow you to really overcome approach
anxiety. And they're very simple, like
none of this stuff is rocket science, but you have to do it.
So the first is to simply say hito the next 5 to 10 people who
walk by, right? Just to, hey, how's it going?
(06:08):
You know, a little head nod or you can do, hey, good afternoon,
good morning, good evening, whatever time it is.
And that's going to take you maybe 5-10 minutes, right?
And the point is to kind of do it rapid fire like everyone you
see. And I literally just coach
someone through this exact issuejust a couple days ago.
So this is our Discord community.
There's a whole system in place to help you level up, from our
belt system to our weekly Zoom calls.
(06:30):
Plus, members get exclusive access to things like the
organized girl advice threads, where you'll be guided with
specific real time advice for your specific girls and the
ability to post recordings of your approaches and other
interactions, screenshots to getdirect feedback on things like
texting, fashion advice, you name it.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
And the best part? It's a place where you get real
(06:51):
time feedback, accountability, and tons of support from other
members all around the globe. If you've been in a community
before, I guarantee it's nothinglike this one.
I only accept successful, motivated guys who want to reach
the highest levels of personal development and game.
So if you're a total noob or a tire kicker, this is probably
not going to be a good fit for you.
You'll discover all the other benefits when you join.
So if you're looking to take your game in the next level,
(07:13):
this could be the place for you.The second exercise is you're
going to walk up to somebody in front of a landmark like a store
or a Starbucks for example, and ask them where the nearest
Starbucks is, right? So like, hey, you know where
Starbucks is and they're going to be like right here.
Like, yeah, I know, I'm just kidding around.
Have a good day. Or if they're standing on Santa
(07:34):
Monica Blvd. you can be like, hey, can you, can you help me
out? I'm looking for directions to
Santa Monica Blvd. They'll be like, you're on Santa
Monica Blvd. So this is going to get you in
a, a funny, like social mood. And it's very important that you
actually do these first because they're going to put you in a
flow state. They're going to make you enjoy
approaching. So do not skip these.
You can't logically get into theflow state without putting
(07:57):
yourself there by doing these warmups, right?
It's like if you just immediately go to the gym and
you start doing like the heaviest weight lifting thing
you're going to do, right? You start doing deadlifts with
your Max weight, you're going tofucking, you know, injure
yourself badly. And it's not going to happen
physically with a game. It's going to happen mentally,
which is arguably worse. So that's how to combat approach
(08:20):
anxiety. Don't start with a hard thing.
Warm up. And if you tried these sorts of
things and you still haven't been able to approach, you're
likely dealing with some other deep seeded issues.
And I'd recommend working with an expert because you're not
likely to make progress on your own.
And don't beat yourself up aboutthat either.
I was one of those guys. So next I want to show you the
most common ways guys screw their approaches up.
(08:41):
And if you master clean body language, a clear voice,
friendly eye contact, you're going to dodge pretty much every
trap on this list. So first, let's go over the
easiest scenario, which is she'ssitting alone drinking a coffee,
and you don't really have to worry about anyone overhearing
the conversation. So here's common mistake number
one. Hey, how's it going?
(09:02):
What's going on? My name's Robbie.
I think. I think you're really pretty.
Where sorry I need to go. Where are you going?
I just wanted to say hi. So what I was doing here, I was
invading her personal space, showing very poor social skills.
Here's common mistake #2 hey, how's it going?
I'm Robbie, wanted to come meet you.
(09:25):
What's your name? I'm sorry, I'm waiting for my
friend. She's going to come in like 5
minutes. Oh, but I just wanted to I have
5 minutes, right? Anyways, where are you from?
What do you? Do I'm sorry I just wait for my
friend is it OK? Yeah.
Can we just talk in the meantime?
No. No.
Can I? Can I have your number?
No. OK.
(09:48):
You sure? I'm rich that.
Was. So.
So there I was, talking too fast, I was being pushy,
assuming that I could just sit down, and the obvious awkward
flexing of wealth. Here's common mistake #3 hi, I
(10:10):
just had to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl I've
seen all day. My name's Robbie.
I wanted to. I'm sorry.
I'm waiting for my boyfriend. Can you please leave?
OK. You sure you have a boyfriend?
OK, here I was being way too interested, overly serious and
(10:34):
formal. I was complimenting her beauty,
which is very simpy sort of behavior.
And obviously it was the way I did it as well.
So I'm going to show you the proper approach in a second.
But first, let's discuss the most common scenario you'll
encounter, which is a woman who's walking on her way
somewhere. And usually, you know, women are
not just going to be like, slowly meandering through a
(10:55):
park. They're going to be walking
pretty quickly with intention, and stopping them is a lot more
difficult than you would think. Guys screw this up badly.
So common mistake #1 excuse me? OK, here I was, awkwardly
tapping her on the shoulder frombehind.
(11:16):
Common mistake #2 Hey, excuse me, excuse me, Here I was
shouting at her to stop. Common mistake #3 Excuse me one
second, one SEC, I just want to talk to you here.
(11:40):
I was blocking her path like a bouncer.
Common mistake #4 Excuse me one second here I was being way too
passive. I was speaking in a very meek,
soft voice. Common mistake #5 hey, how you
doing? What's going on?
What are you up to today? Can you just stop and talk for
(12:02):
like one second? Here I was walking alongside
her. And she'll really have no idea
how long I'm going to continue doing that.
And that will not put her at ease.
It'll make her want to run away.Common mistake number six.
Excuse me? Oh my God.
(12:22):
One SEC, I just wanted to come meet you.
This one should be obvious. I'm grabbing at her arm and
that's not going to make anyone feel comfortable.
Common mistake #7 Hey, sorry. One SEC I just wanted to tell
you that I think you're really cute here.
(12:43):
I'm talking to her from too far away and I'm making it really
easy for her to ignore you. Remember, you only get one
chance to make a great first impression.
So 1st I'm going to show you howto stop a girl using the hook
and swoop technique. So I'm going to demonstrate how
to properly stop a girl who's walking using the hook and swoop
technique. All right, so if she's walking
towards me, I might just be likestop because that's intrusive
(13:05):
and weird. So instead I'm going to let her
as she's walking past me and tryto make eye contact if I got it,
that's a really good sign. Make sure the the booty is nice.
Oh my God. And then I'm going to chase
after her. So walk super slow motion so I
can do it in slow motion slower.That's not super slow motion.
(13:27):
Super slow motion exactly. So I'm going to run around while
I point backwards. Hey one SEC me pointing makes
her think that she dropped her wallet or something and then
once I have the eye contact I'm going to deliver my opening
line. So here it is in full speed.
(13:48):
Hey one SEC I saw you and I had to risk embarrassing the hell
out of myself to meet you. OK, that's something new.
Robbie. Maria.
You look like you're busy. I'm late for a meeting.
How about this? Give me your number.
You don't like me, give me a fake one.
OK, never. Heard everything first time for
everything. Right.
(14:10):
You get a lot of weird lines, yeah.
This one this good. One was original.
Yeah. All right, I'll.
I'll text you. Nice to meet you.
OK, Nice. See you later.
Bye. Now, I'm going to teach you the
easiest and most authentic script to use.
So these are technically lines that you can memorize, but
they're never going to feel likecheesy pickup lines because
they're effectively just callingout what you're doing, which
shows a combination of social awareness and humor.
(14:32):
So once you got her attention, you're going to tell her why
you're talking to her while alsoacknowledging the fact that what
you're doing goes against standard social protocol.
And this really answers the two most important questions any
woman will have in her mind, which are one, am I in danger?
And two, what does he want from me?
And if you've delivered the lines correctly, you'll probably
get like a chuckle, a smile. And next I'm going to introduce
(14:55):
myself. But to give a time constraint,
this answers her next question, which is how long is this guy
going to try and take up my time?
And if she likes you instantly because you're her type, she may
not mind, right? She may be very eager to talk to
you. But if she's not yet sure, which
is 99.9% of the women you're going to meet, she will
appreciate this and she's going to feel at ease because you told
(15:17):
her you can only stay for a second.
Then you're going to tell her ina hurry.
So then you're going to basically use a funny line to
get her number. And this will make the, the, the
clothes, you know, which is potentially the most awkward
part, easy and fun. When you walk away, she's
probably going to feel like, Oh my God, what just happened?
That guy was so cool and smooth and mysterious, and I wanted to
talk to him more. So she's going to be eagerly
awaiting your text at that point.
(15:39):
So here's how I would do it if she's sitting at a coffee shop.
Hey, one SEC not to be that guy that, like, tries to flirt with
you while you're sitting here drinking coffee, but I got to be
that guy. Give me like 30 seconds to give
you my sales pitch. OK, What's your name?
(16:00):
Maria. Maria, I'm Robbie.
Nice to meet you too. What are you up to today?
I'm seeing my friend. She's late, as always.
Oh, nice. Well, bad friend.
You're going to yell at her? Of course.
Well, I don't want to keep you. I've got to run to a meeting.
But how about this? Give me your number.
If you don't like me, give me a fake one.
(16:21):
OK, there you go. Here you go.
Awesome. Nice to meet you, Maria.
You. Remember my name, right?
Bye. Bye bye.
Hey one SEC I saw you and I had to risk embarrassing the hell
out of myself to come beat you. OK.
(16:43):
I'm Robbie. Maria.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
You look like you're in a rush. You off to workout or something?
I'm actually after my yoga class.
Oh, nice. Well, I don't want to keep you.
I've got to run to a meeting actually, but love to, you know,
talk more. How about this?
Give me your number. If you don't like me, give me a
fake one. OK, I hope you're not going to
call me right away to see if it's fake or not.
(17:05):
Well, better not be fake. I won't call you.
Calling is weird. I'll text you.
Yeah, I. Agree.
OK, here's my number. All right, thanks for the fake
number. See you later.
So after seeing those two demos,you might feel like those
interactions were too short and there wasn't enough time to
build a connection. You know, there are a lot of day
game systems taught by their coaches out there which are
(17:27):
elaborate and they go into skills like bantering,
qualifying, push pull, cold reading, etcetera, and all that
stuff is great and totally valid.
All good things to learn, but trying to incorporate all of it
into an approach if you're new to this is going to completely
overwhelm you. I've been coaching day games
since 2006. It's been almost 20 years.
(17:47):
So trust me when I say that the worst thing you can do is try to
bite off more than you can chew with this stuff.
So if you want to practice conversation skills, the best
place to do that is on a date. That is literally what they're
for. You're just asking a lot from
both yourself and a woman you literally just met to try and
have some sort of really enjoyable conversation out of
(18:08):
nowhere on a sidewalk. Now, I'm not saying if you're an
advanced conversationalist, you shouldn't, you know, try to
continue the conversation. I mean, you should get to the
point where you're going to feelyourself kind of like running
out of shit to say or getting nervous.
And you can always, you know, just eject, use that fake number
line at that point. I'm just saying if you haven't
done day game a lot, you're going to be way more effective
(18:30):
at getting numbers and getting over approach anxiety and
getting good at this. If you do those short style
elevator pitch approaches that Ijust demonstrated, both the
sitting one and the standing 1, you know, you're busy, she's
busy. You have a perfectly valid
reason why you can't stay in chat, but there is plenty of a
dynamic there that she's going to be comfortable going on a
(18:51):
date with you from this shorter interaction alone, plus a few
witty texts back and forth. You know, keep in mind, a 45
second interaction like this is going to tell her exponentially
more about you than an online dating message exchange and
texting right? Like the When you meet someone
in person, you get to feel theirvibe and their energy.
That's so much more powerful andlikely to result in a date than
(19:14):
an online encounter. So in essence, don't knock this
until you try it. I was way more successful with
these short approaches than eventhe longer ones, even though I'm
a really good conversationalist.So if a girl's really keen on
continuing the conversation rather than just chatting on the
sidewalk, I will effectively pitch her on an instant date.
So here's an example of that that I got back in the day.
(19:38):
Hey, I was waiting for a friend over there and I saw you walk by
and I thought I got to embarrassthe hell out of myself to come
flirt with this girl. Hi.
I'm Robbie. Tanya.
Nice to meet you. Tanya.
Trying to. Sell me like hair stuff.
I swear to God, I have no hair stuff to sell you.
I don't even have a lot of hair.Nice to meet you.
(20:01):
Yeah. What are you up?
To I work. I'm actually on my way back to
work. Yeah, yeah.
I work around here. What do you what about?
You, I was just going to meet a friend and he's late, so.
OK, so Tanya walked by. I'm like, yeah, you just kind
of. All right, so make your case.
Then all right, you ready for the sales pitch?
It's a little cold out here and we're standing in front of a
(20:23):
parking lot and I feel like I'm about to get run over.
So two options. Either we talk over there by the
weird ass wall. Yeah, that.
Sounds good. All right.
This is our first date. I've never been on a date in
front of this wall before, but I'm excited.
But you haven't been on like a 15.
(20:43):
Minute date either, so I don't think I have.
I didn't think I'd even get 15 minutes.
OK, well we'll see. Maybe we'll cage at 10.
Or maybe. I might get cold after six, so
if I run, these are cool little glove things.
Yeah. What do you do?
So we ended up having, you know,probably a 5 minute conversation
(21:04):
there and then went on a date the next day at the Starbucks
right around the corner. So that's an example of how you
can effectively, you know, go from talking on the sidewalk to,
hey, let's just, you know, rather than talking here, let's
grab a quick coffee, right? And if she's giving you a lot of
interest and really stopping andplanting and seems like she's
(21:24):
down to hang out right then and there, then an instant date can
be a great thing to do. But again, get comfortable
getting over anxiety first before you try something like
that. Now, one other example I want to
show is from another creator. His name is Demmo, who has a
great technique for approaching by calling out what she's
wearing. So here is that video.
(21:45):
Denim jacket. I don't.
I don't know you. What?
I just called you denim jacket. OK.
Yeah, I don't know your name. Solid jacket.
Your name's. Oh, I thought it was solid.
I'm Jack. Yeah, we're we're close.
What? Pink pants.
Sorry. Pink pants.
These are purple. Hey, listen, I don't know you.
(22:06):
Yeah. Do you know me?
No. Do you want to?
Sure. What's your?
Name Purple hair. I don't know you.
No, you don't. But I want to.
What's your name? Maddie, what's your SO?
There you have it. He's got a great vibe about him.
He's very playful. He's very chill, very low key,
(22:26):
but also confident and sure of himself.
So that's the vibe that you're going for, right?
What what matters more than anything is, is your vibe.
And the only way to get a good vibe is to practice and get in
the reps. So one more thing I want to show
because so many of you guys are dealing with women abroad.
Maybe you're living abroad, maybe you're digital nomads or
maybe you're travelling and that's how to approach.
(22:49):
If the odds are pretty good thatshe does not speak English, I'm
going to show you what not to doand then what to do here.
You're travelling in a foreign country.
This is the worst possible opening line you could use.
Excuse me. Excuse me, do you speak English?
No. Are you sure?
(23:14):
Don't ask her if she speaks English because she's just going
to say no. So do this instead.
Hey one SEC I saw you and I had to risk embarrassing myself to
come over here and meet you. Sorry I I don't speak English.
Oh, I love you. We get married.
(23:41):
Yes. No ring.
I see no ring here. OK, You put phone number, I text
you name. Maria.
Maria, Robbie, bye. Bye.
(24:01):
All right, The last situation I wanna go over is what I call the
node opener. And this content is from the
members area in the Air Confidence community.
And that's if you're in a situation where if you hit on
her, there's gonna be a bunch ofother people within earshot.
And it might be really potentially awkward for her.
Like an example would be a Subway or train car in line at
(24:25):
the grocery store or a really crowded coffee shop.
Or maybe if she's working, like,you know, she's a service
industry worker working and there's other coworkers around
or other people around. So to save her from
embarrassment. Not that I'd be embarrassed to
do it. It's more about saving her from
embarrassment. I read a note on my phone and I
hand it to her and it's funny, it's creative and it works a
(24:47):
really high percentage of the time, believe it or not.
The only downside is, you know, sometimes it's it's you need a
little bit of preparation. But that's why it's great to
have some of these like pre written out on your phone.
And sometimes you have the time,sometimes you don't.
So here's a couple examples. One, this is a hello.
You came up to my register to help me with a return.
And in my head I said, hey, thisgirl's cute.
(25:08):
I know you're busy here at work,so I didn't want to make it
glaringly obvious that I'm hitting on you.
You have a few options. A I can leave and go die in
grease fire. My mother will be sad as his
Mother's Day. B, you can give me your phone
number. C if you don't like me, you can
give me a fake one. Let's say you and she responded
here. You know I handed this to her so
that only because this was adorable put her number.
My name is Izzy. Here's another one.
(25:28):
This one was kind of like preloaded and I am Robbie.
I have a crush on you. Please choose an option below.
Give me your number or a fake one if you think I'm ugly.
If you think I'm ugly or a loserfor hitting on you in the gym,
tell me you have a boyfriend. If you choose option two, I will
drown myself in the nearest pooland then another one.
I use this one on a Southwest flight back in 2015 and I had
(25:48):
the time to write this out because she was like the funny
flight attendant giving the announcements over the PA.
So I waited until I walked off the plane and handed this to her
as I passed right before exiting.
So I said dear funny flight attendant, this note will take
you 16 seconds to read. I'm sure you get hit on 10,000
times a day by assholes while working, but I figured I'd take
my chances. And B #10,000 and one, I wrote
(26:09):
the note instead of just tellingyou this because I didn't feel
like embarrassing myself. And from everyone walking off
this plane guessing you have to turn this plane around.
So please choose one option below.
A Give me your number B Give me a fake number.
C Instruct me to fall to jetway.She put her number there and her
name Miriam. Here's another one I did when I
was dating a bisexual girl namedGenevieve.
(26:30):
So she's I wrote this dear blonde at the bar.
Not to be too aggressive, but mygirlfriend and I are slightly
obsessed with your butt. Pick an option.
One right number here 2 Tell us you're dating the guy to your
right. We won't believe you. 3 right in
other rejection here I'm dating his friend.
But both of you are hot. That's what she wrote.
So those are the note openers toconsistently get dates from
(26:52):
this. Remember, you need to put in the
reps Most guys need to do about 50 to 100 approaches to shake
off the nervous energy and to get comfortable with rejection.
So you're going to screw up the stop.
You're going to have weak body language, you're going to speak
too softly or you're going to forget the lines.
So give yourself permission to suck.
And the best way to do this is with a wing man and to take
(27:14):
turns approaching. You know the cute girls you see
after each approach, you're going to laugh with your wing
man about how you crashed and burned, and that's going to turn
a negative experience into a +1.In my community, I pair guys up
to go out and approach together whenever possible.
If there's no one available in or no other members in the city,
what I'll do is I'll help facilitate wingman calls between
(27:35):
members. So at least you can be on the
phone with a buddy while you're out doing this on your own.
Lastly, let's talk about what results you can expect from
this. So I have personally done
somewhere between 2 and 3000 daygame approaches.
And I also have the data on about 200 clients who have
trained in my community with an approach tracking tool that I
developed circa 2021. So I'm going to share that
(27:58):
screen right here. So what this tool does, you pull
it up on your phone and it geolocates you.
So you can see where I'm recording this right now in LA
because that's where it is. But obviously if you're on your
phone, you're out knows where you are and it creates a
database here of all of your approaches and you know the
location, the time and the progress, right?
(28:21):
So after you approached, you cansay I approached, I conversed
with her, I got contact info, she responded to my text, she
agreed to a first date. We went on a first date, we
kissed, we had sex and we're having a recurring sex and the
status either it's dead, she left you on red, you're icing
her, maybe you'll you're circling back, you're staying
(28:42):
top of mind or it's just alive. So what this does is ultimately
it creates stats. Now, of course, I don't have
many stats on here because I haven't done a whole lot of day
games since I was, you know, in a relationship since I developed
this. But we could pull up someone
else from the program and we canlook at their stats together.
(29:03):
So I I have impersonation abilities here.
So let's choose a user. Let's go with He's done a lot of
fun approaches. Why don't we go with here are
stats. You can see since he joined the
program he has done a lot of approaches.
(29:27):
Gee golly, 529 approaches, location, EDC, Sherman Oaks, the
Grove Farm Cup and then what we have down here are the stats.
And this is the interesting part.
These numbers in black are what I consider par and par, just
like in golf is a score that is very hard to get.
(29:48):
Basically if you're professional, you should shoot
around even par. So if you're getting par or
around par, it means you are a very good day gamer.
This is the one we want. So if you approach her, what
this is measuring did you converse with her and par on
that is 90%. Nine out of 10 girls you
approach should stop and have a conversation.
If that's not happening, you're not stopping her correctly like
(30:11):
I showed. So he's he's right at par here
getting contact info. If you're really good at day
game, you should get the contactinfo about half the time, right?
And he's right around 40%. She should respond to that
initial text half the time. So half the girls that you get
their number, half should respond.
He's a little bit below that, which means he's getting a
little bit of pity numbers. If she responds to a text, she
should agree to a date at least 60% of the time to show if
(30:34):
you're texting is good or not. You can see he's a little below
par there. So pretty good texting then.
Did she go on the date if she agreed to the date?
And certainly she did. So that's another measure of
texting and he's well above par there.
Did he kiss her on the date? You should be kissing about 75%
(30:56):
of the girls on the first date if your game is good and he's
doing better than that, so that's awesome.
Do you ultimately get to sex if you take a girl out on a date?
Well, not saying on that date, but you should ultimately sleep
with close to 100% of the girls you get on a date with.
That's why the par is at 90 and he's below that, which means his
something's going on in terms ofmiddle game for him and he's
(31:19):
losing some leads. But that's a very important
dictator here. I'm going to talk to him about
that. And then if you had sex once, do
you have recurring sex? And that should be happening 8
out of 10 times. He's slightly below that.
So overall, for you know, this is an amazing way to track
someone's progress in game and it really allows me to see what
the sticking points are. So let's talk about how many
(31:44):
approaches the average guy needsto do before day game becomes a
working dating funnel for him. For most guys, it takes about
500 approaches to become competent at this skill.
You can see was was pretty good right around you know, he's a
little bit over 500 approaches. So some guys get lucky and they
start getting dates on their first handful approaches.
And in my community, I suggest guys do 25 approaches per week.
(32:08):
This is kind of like the magic number that will get you good at
this in under 6 months. If you already have solid social
skills, you're a high status guywith good fashion, good
physique, you could be crushing this like right off the bat,
right? The big benefit a day game and
approaching in real life is it'sreally a rite of passage.
Kind of like becoming a man, right?
(32:30):
If you're afraid to make yourself vulnerable and you're
ashamed of your attraction towards women, you're never
gonna date a woman who's in demand by their men.
As simple as that. High value women are massively
turned off by fear. So think of day game as one of
the foundational exercises of game, like deadlifts as a
foundational exercise of weightlifting.
It's the best thing you can do to see results and get strong if
(32:52):
you have the right technique in form.
I've seen countless physically attractive and rich dudes
brutally fail with women becausetheir seduction skills were poor
and the answer to solving that problem was day game.
It's really what allowed them toshed their inauthentic nice guy
acts come out of their shell, and it's really the thing that
turned them into beasts that they were capable of.
(33:14):
So at the end of the day, approaching women shouldn't be
an isolated thing you occasionally do when a wingman
or a coach like pushes you to doit.
It should be a go to instinct that when you see a beautiful
girl, you just go do it right? And if you can get into the
state, you'll never have a shortage of beautiful women in
your as dating options in your life.
(33:36):
But the only way to get there iswith deliberate practice and you
got to put in the reps and that's going to require a
concerted effort and accountability to get over the
fear, to troubleshoot your sticking points, and to make it
a habit and eventually a lifestyle.
So that's why a lot of the guys join my program.
They understand that they're going to be held accountable
week in a week out to those goals.
(33:56):
Sometimes if guys don't do what they say, I force them to put
their money where their mouth isand make a bet.
Then they do it or they lose themoney.
Unfortunately for me, they really almost never lose these
bets. And that's because they make
them bet an amount of money they're not willing to lose.
And that's really the easiest way to get anyone to do
anything, by the way, is to create a much worse outcome for
not doing it. So, you know, there's there you
(34:19):
have it. It's kind of really all you need
to know to master the skill of approaching a beautiful woman in
real life where very few guys have the balls to do it.
So of course, there's other scenarios as well.
I'm not going to go over on thisepisode like what if she's with
friends or she's on the phone orshe's driving or she has a dog
or you have a dog or whatever. If you just master these three
simple scenarios, which are she's sitting by herself, she's
(34:42):
walking, and three, she's sitting in a busy environment
where approaching might make herfeel totally uncomfortable.
You master those 3 scenarios, you'll be off to the races.
Just use the easy pitch I gave you.
Get the number, leave. Then you can use your texting
and dating skills, which are gonna be a lot easier than the
actual cold approach. So I have many other infield
(35:03):
videos I've done back in the daythat obviously aren't on my wife
before I was married that I can show you.
Just leave a comment with the scenario you need help with and
I'll hook you up. All right, till next time guys
tears. Out of all the guys I know, the
only ones who managed to consistently win the game are
those who built and invested in a high status social circle.
You can certainly approach womenand try your luck on the apps if
(35:26):
you're a Chad, but those strategies simply don't work
consistently to attract top tierwomen and awesome friends in
your life. But for most guys, the idea of
building a social circle can feel overwhelming.
So they continue to hunt for women in their usual ways and
end up settling for a girl they were never really that excited
about in the 1st place. To avoid this fate, join our
community and instantly plug into a highly vetted social
circle of cool dudes to network and navigate your journey with.
(35:49):
You already know it's hard to find wing men because the good
ones don't stay in the game verylong.
Many of our members travel together, end up living
together, build amazing circles and even businesses together
both in the West and in many of the best locations around the
globe. With gorgeous women and low cost
of living, I'm extremely carefulwho I let into this community,
but if you feel like you'd make a good fit, you can apply to
join the links in the description.
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