November 22, 2024 • 20 mins
Links:
Magic Mind:
magicmind.com/innerconfidence40
Robbie's Texting Course: https://www.innerconfidence.com/texting
Free Download of The Dating Protocol: https://www.innerconfidence.com/newsletter
Apply For The IC Community: https://www.innerconfidence.com/community
Connect w/ Robbie:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robbie_kramer/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Have you struggled to connect with the women you really want
or felt stuck in the traditionaldating mindset?
Maybe you keep hearing that you should be using Instagram and
building your social circle, andyou're sort of trying, but you
don't really get it. Or maybe you're just posting on
Instagram without creating a life that others naturally want
to be part of. Well, if that's you, you'll want
to tune into today's episode. We're diving deep into what it
(00:20):
really means to build a magneticsocial circle and why Instagram
is the ultimate tool for modern social proof.
We're not just talking about making friends or posting on
Instagram. We're talking about creating a
life so dynamic and attractive that people naturally want to be
a part of it. And one key idea we're exploring
today is this. If you can embrace the idea that
men and women actually can be friends, and I mean real
(00:40):
authentic friendships, you'll unlock the secret to winning the
dating game. This shift in focus away from
the transactional mindset reallychanges everything.
And when you pair it with the right use of social tools like
Instagram, you become unstoppable.
So here's our truth. Most guys are playing the wrong
game. They're focused on chasing
women, trying to impress people,or grinding away on the dating
(01:02):
apps. But none of that works in the
long run. Why?
Because people, especially women, aren't drawn to someone
who's chasing them. They're drawn to someone who's
built a life worth joining. This episode is about how to
stop chasing and start attracting.
We're going to cover how to use Instagram as the ultimate social
tool. The power of hosting events to
expand your social network. Why female friendships are the
(01:23):
secret weapon that will completely transform dating
life. The big idea of tying it all
together? If you focus on building a
magnetic life, you'll stop worrying about dates,
connections, or validation. They'll just come to you.
This shift really changes everything, so let's dive in.
You're listening to the Inner Confidence podcast.
Home to the social funnel method.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
(01:46):
helped over 1300 digital nomads,expats and remote workers build
an amazing social and dating life abroad.
My mission is simple, help you position yourself to meet
stunning women and make awesome friends in route to becoming the
most confident and attractive version you can be.
I have an intense hatred for fluff and useless advice that
you can't take action on, so tune in each week to.
(02:06):
Learn the most effective. And implementable strategies to
level up your game. So stick around.
Let's go. So let's talk about the
foundation of a magnetic life. To create that magnetic life,
you'll have to start by redefining your goals a little
bit. You know, most guys focus on
outcomes, dates, hookups, or finding the one finding the
dream girl, but that's really a dead end mindset.
(02:28):
A truly magnetic life starts with the question, what kind of
world do I really want to createaround me?
And one of the best examples of this comes from a friend of mine
who moved to Austin after his divorce and we became friends.
He was a client, worked togethera lot, and when he moved to
Austin, he had no friends. He had no connections, he had no
idea really how to start over. He felt alone, and he was
(02:49):
susceptible to jumping back intoanother bad relationship and
just repeating the patterns of his divorce.
He told me that he was literallyGoogling how to meet people in a
new city. He was going to meet up groups.
He joined a kickball league. He just, you know, started
saying hi to strangers at bars. And at first, he said it was
awkward. You know, there are plenty of
small interactions that didn't go anywhere.
But he kept showing up. He joined activities.
(03:11):
He showed interest in people andhe slowly started building a
network. And the big breakthrough came
when he shifted from attending events to actually hosting them.
He started hosting a karaoke night at his house every
Thursday and at first it was just a few people, 3 or 4, but
over time it grew into somethingbigger.
People started inviting their friends and it kind of became
like a thing. And the lesson here is simple.
(03:33):
Focus on creating value for others, not chasing outcomes
just for yourself. Whether it's a small happy hour
or regular game night, consistency builds trust, and
trust builds connections. Now let's talk about why
Instagram is your most powerful tool.
And it's also where a lot of guys get stuck.
They think Instagram is just a place for selfies and
(03:55):
influencers, but in reality, it's the most powerful tool you
have for social proof and connection.
And it's so much easier to standout and use it effectively than
most guys realize. Their entire understanding of
the value of Instagram is wrong and jaded with biases stuck in
the past. And if you don't use Instagram,
you're essentially signaling I don't have a social life.
Women especially use it as a wayto gauge your social value,
(04:19):
safety, and overall vibe. Here's an example.
One guy shared how his consistent Instagram presence
completely changed how people, especially women, perceived him.
He said he started posting funny, relatable content,
nothing flashy, just his authentic self.
And overtime, women began engaging with the stories,
tagging him and theirs and even reposting his stories.
(04:39):
And by the time his girlfriend met him, she'd seen his name
1000 times through Instagram. And that repetition gave him
instant validation in her eyes. So this is the key.
Instagram acts as a window into your world.
When people see that you're connected, fun, and have an
active social life, you're immediately validated.
And without it, you risk being placed in a category that feels
(05:00):
disconnected or outdated, which makes it harder to build trust
and rapport. Your Instagram doesn't have to
be perfect. It should show your personality,
humor, and the life you've built.
You know, the base of social value you create there does a
lot of the work for you. Making connections smoother,
opening doors, sometimes even before you realize you you even
need them. So why does it matter so much?
(05:23):
Well, it's the first place people go to learn about you,
especially women. My friend Bailey explained it
perfectly last week. She said I don't give up my
phone numbers to guys I just met.
My number feels too personal. But Instagram, that's easy.
I can see who you are. I can decide if I want to engage
and block you if I don't. If you're not an Instagram and
you want hot girls you're operating with one hand tied
(05:43):
behind your back, you're just making everything unnecessarily
hard. Also, it's a red flag to a lot
of girls. It's like like what is this
creep doing right? Like why is this dude like
hiding himself? Think about what that means.
Instagram is like your modern day business card.
It shows people what your life is like, your hobbies, your
friends, your personality. And here's the kicker, it really
doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to feel real.
(06:05):
For example, another one of my clients started posting funny
random stories about his daily life.
He shared clips of himself vacuuming crickets out of his
house and joked about ordering like, late night Uber Eats for a
single block or from a single block away.
It wasn't glamorous, but it was authentic and people loved it.
In one video, you know, he, he grabbed his phone and he
(06:25):
videotaped him and, you know, grabbing his Dyson trying to
vacuum up a cricket, a cricket with the caption my Kingdom for
whoever can find the cricket in my house and make a display of
it so other crickets know what will happen to them.
It's got so much, you know, loveon Instagram.
Another friend of mine explainedhow Instagram flipped his
perspective on socializing. And he said, you know, I used to
(06:48):
think of Instagram. It was just for scrolling when
you're bored. But I realized it's where
everything happens. It's invites, it's RSVPS, it's
follow-ups. If you don't go to the event,
it's what do you miss? It's FOMO.
So if you're not on Instagram, you're missing out on the entire
modern social world. If your Instagram shows that
you're fun, active and connected, people will naturally
want to engage with you. And here's a tip on stories, not
(07:10):
just the feed where your photos live.
You know, stories are more casual.
They give the people a real, youknow, they're they're giving
people a real time glimpse into your life and not just some
perfectly curated, you know, feed post.
And one of the most important shifts guys can make is to
approach socializing in a non transactional way.
Instead of trying to perfectly orchestrate every interaction
(07:32):
for dating success, focus on building friendships, especially
with women. And one of my clients described
this perfectly. He said When I met Julie, I
stopped prioritizing dating and started prioritizing as many
female friendships as possible. That became the foundation for
my social life. It wasn't about chasing dates,
but creating a group of people who wanted to hang out, whether
(07:52):
at parties or casual get togethers.
And the mindset applies to Instagram.
Many guys overthink it. They try to create the perfect
profile, the ratio of friends orfollowers, and then they end up
doing nothing. But social proof isn't about
perfection, it's about being consistent and visible.
Think of it like this. You don't want to be a dot, a
guy someone sees once and forgets.
You want to be a line, someone who appears repeatedly in
(08:15):
different contexts, creating familiarity and comfort.
Repeated exposure is super powerful.
Women aren't scrutinizing every detail of your Instagram,
they're remembering how they felt for a split second while
scrolling. The key is to show up
consistently with authentic, relatable content.
If you wait for perfection, you're missing the point.
And that's why so many guys end up stuck on dating apps instead
(08:35):
of building real connections. Real quick.
Let me take my daily shot of magic mind here.
Shake it up first now. This stuff has been awesome.
It's a total productivity hack for me.
I think it's way better than coffee and a million times
better than energy drinks which are disgusting and I've really
(08:58):
noticed the benefits of taking it daily.
Now I'm sure you've heard about productivity drinks before, but
here's what makes Magic Mind different.
They use some of the cleanest, highest quality natural
ingredients out there and God forbid I use anything unnatural.
My wife is like a psycho lookingup toxic stuff and micro
plastics and she even made us change all of our Tupperware for
glass stuff and you know, get rid of the aluminum cooking
(09:19):
trays, switch to stainless steel.
Anyways, she lets me drink magicmind.
And now I sound like a simp saying that this stuff gives me
a slow, steady energy boost, doesn't give me the jitters that
I get from energy drinks. And and it's got adapted gins,
it's got ashwaganda. This reduces stress and it keeps
your mind sharp throughout the day.
(09:39):
And I've been using it to stay focused while creating content
like this podcast, and it's honestly made a huge difference
in my workflow. So here's the deal, you can try
it for yourself with an exclusive 40% discount.
Just for my listeners, use my code
innerconfidence40@magicmind.com/innerConfidence 40.
But act fast. This offer is only available for
(10:00):
the 1st 10 orders, so let's get back into it.
This is the most important section of the podcast.
It's the value of female friendships.
And if you take one thing away from today's episode, it should
be this. Stop chasing women as dates and
start valuing them as friends. Let's break that down first.
Why are female friendships so powerful?
(10:21):
Well, they give you something you can't get anywhere else.
Social proof. When women see you surrounded by
other women who trust and value you, it sends a powerful signal.
It tells them this guy is safe, he's fun, and he's someone worth
knowing. One friend explained it like
this. When I started building
friendships with women, everything changed.
They introduced me to their friends, invited me to events,
(10:41):
and even hyped me up to other women.
I wasn't chasing any more. Opportunities were coming to me.
It's not just about dating. Female friendships bring energy
to your life that's fulfilling. It's just great to be around
beautiful feminine energy all day, right?
When I had female friends, like the urgency to hook up
disappeared. I realized what I was really
craving wasn't just sex. It was connection and that
(11:03):
feminine energy. But here's the catch.
These friendships have to be genuine.
Women can tell if you're faking it to get something.
If you approach them with respect and genuine interest in
their company, they'll value youin return.
Before we continue with the episode, if you're going out and
getting numbers and want to improve your texting so more of
those numbers convert to dates, check out my texting course and
we'll teach you the psychology of digital communication, which
(11:25):
is surprisingly polar opposite in almost every way compared to
live interactions. What works in person doesn't
work in text. So this is almost always the
area that men are making easily correctable mistakes that
they're totally unconscious of. My course will optimize your
texting, which is a skill you really need to master.
And the best part is you can cutand paste your way to mastery.
You can find the link in the description.
(11:46):
It costs less than a round of drinks.
And if you're going on dates andwant to learn what to do some
more of them end up in your yourbedroom, check out my free
dating protocol you'll learn to be an interesting guy to talk
to, even if you're serious or overanalytical.
How to help a girl open up on a date why talking about sex is a
big taboo on dates if you want to get laid and what to talk
about instead going from the first touch to the.
First kiss. How to invite her over to your
(12:08):
place and why you should skip 80% of the physical escalation
moves you're doing back at your place.
The link to this free guide is in the description.
Out of all the guys I know, the only ones who managed to
consistently land eights and up are the guys who have built a
social circle, can certainly approach women and use the apps
to get laid, but those strategies simply don't really
work on top tier women. Think about it.
She's hot. She has hot friends and hot
(12:29):
girls get invited to high statusevents almost every single
night. So when it comes time to get
ready for your date, do you think she's going to show up or
flake last minute when her girlfriend texts her to come to
some awesome thing? As if she's going to choose the
random dude on Hinge. Or the guy who chased her down
on the. Street over her social.
Circle. No chance if you're getting tons
of flakes. This is the reason.
But for most guys, the idea of building a social.
(12:51):
Social circle especially. If you're travelling or in a new
city can feel overwhelming. So they continue to hunt for
women in their usual ways, and they end up settling for a girl
they were never really that excited about in the first
place. To avoid this fate.
Join our community of aspiring international Playboys and
instantly plug into a highly vetted social circle of cool
dudes to network and navigate your journey with.
You already know it's hard to find a wing man because the good
(13:12):
ones don't really stay in the game very long.
They get married, life goes on, right?
Many of our members travel together, they end up living
together, and they build amazingsocial circles in the best kept
secret locations around the globe with gorgeous women and
low cost of living. I'm extremely careful who I let
into this community, but if you feel like you'd make a good fit,
you can learn more about the social funnel method to
(13:33):
consistently land top tier womenand apply to join our community.
The link is in the description. Now let's get back to the show.
One of the most transformative stories I've heard comes from a
guy who stopped trying to date every woman he met and instead
focused on building a core groupof female friends.
He said I stopped being thirsty and women noticed.
They started tagging me in theirposts and inviting me to events
(13:53):
and introducing me to their social circles.
I didn't have to chase anymore. It all just came to me.
So here's your take away. Stop seeing women as potential
dates and start seeing them as allies.
Build friendships first, and everything else is just going to
follow very naturally. Next, let's talk about hosting
events. It's one of the fastest ways to
build a social circle, but it's not about throwing the biggest
(14:14):
party. It's about creating a vibe where
people feel comfortable and theycan connect with each other.
Start small. One guy I know began with a
weekly karaoke night at his house.
First, it was just three or fourpeople stayed consistent.
Over time, it grew. People started bringing their
friends and that's the key. It's consistency.
People need to know they can count on you to create a space
where they can have fun, they can relax.
(14:35):
And here's the pro move. You have to use Instagram to
amplify your events. You got to post stories, you got
to tag people who attended. You got to share the highlights.
Like just as important as hosting the event, it's
documenting the event. And if you've never hosted,
don't get overwhelmed. Like it can be daunting, but
it's way easier and way more funthan you think.
(14:55):
One of my clients said I had a Zoom call with my hood, Robbie,
and he told me you need to throwa party.
I started doing what most guys do, waffling on times and making
excuses. But he made me pull up my
calendar and pick a date. And that was their turning
point. And I remember doing that to him
and it was it was great. That's what he needed.
And in that process of hosting that first party, he realized
(15:17):
that everything that mattered happened on Instagram.
Like it was all of it, all the invites, all the coordination,
everything. People had his number, but we're
messaging him on Instagram and it was just like, OK, Instagram.
I thought it was the sideshow, but it's actually the main
event. He thought Instagram was just
(15:39):
something you did when you're bored, when you're like taking a
dump or whatever. But you know, it's like the
phone was for coordinating and stuff like that.
And it was like, Nope, that's just not how it works anymore.
Instagram is for everything. The phone means you're old, so
that's where it really flipped for him.
Also, by tagging people and tagging venues you create a
(15:59):
ripple effect that brings in even more connections.
You don't need a massive budget,toast events.
Start with what you have. Happy hour, a game night, even a
group workout. Focus on creating a welcoming
environment and the rest will take care of itself.
Hey, so real quick I've decided that 2024 is the year that I
really try to up my social mediagame and more specifically my
(16:19):
Instagram, and I think you should too.
I'll be sharing thoughts, lessons and ideas there almost
every day and I'd love to interact with you and help you
grow. So if you're active on Instagram
already, and you should be because Instagram is the only
online dating platform in a way that most of your communication
with beautiful women is going tofunnel, then shoot me a follow
(16:40):
link via the show notes. I'm at Robbie under score
Kramer. Let me know what you're working
on and if there's any way I can help.
All right, back to the show. Let's talk about scaling your
social influence next. So once you build a foundation,
it's time to scale. And this is where strategy comes
into play. First, leverage Instagram
strategically. Tag venues, DJs or influencers
(17:01):
and you'll get noticed by peopleoutside of your immediate
circle. One guy explained how this
worked for him. He said he started tagging
venues and his stories, and overtime the management noticed.
They started inviting him to exclusive events, which further
expanded his network. And next, collaborate with
people who have influence. You can partner with DJs, event
hosts, other connectors to tap into their networks.
(17:24):
One friend described how hostingADJ rescue party at the last
minute unlocked a whole new level of connections.
You know, they, they needed a venue.
Something happened with the venue that they had.
So he's like, you can just come to my place.
I've got a, I've got a music setup.
I've, you know, we can do it there.
And the DJ's brought their entire circle And suddenly he
was on the radar of people he never would have met otherwise.
It really unlocked like a whole new group of, of people in his
(17:48):
social circle. And that's how social circles
work. It's, it's, you know, it's one
connection can open a giant web or network of more people.
Like it just takes 1 and you gotta, you know, go through a
lot of people to find that one person who's going to unlock the
next thing. But it can, you know, it doesn't
happen, you know, step by step. And it's like you'll, you'll do
(18:09):
a bunch of stuff and maybe nothing will happen and then one
thing will just explode into like a whole new realm.
So remember, focus on creating unique experiences, theme
events, creative meetups, exclusive gatherings stand out
and they keep people coming back.
The goal is to build a life that's dynamic and engaging
where people feel lucky to be part of your world.
So to bring it all together, let's revisit the core idea of
(18:32):
today's episode. Stop chasing.
Start attracting. Here's your road map.
First, build a life that reflects your best self.
Use Instagram to showcase your world authentically.
Embrace women as friends as a cornerstone of your social life,
Host events that prioritize connection and consistency.
Scale strategically by leveraging your network and
(18:53):
thinking creatively. When you focus on creating value
and building an authentic relationship with people,
everything else, dating, friendships, even professional
opportunities fall into place. So thanks for tuning in today.
If you want to dive deeper, booka call with me.
We'll figure out a road map of what you need to do specifically
to win the game. So keep building, keep
connecting, and I'll see you guys next time.
(19:16):
I hope you enjoyed the episode. If you're a regular listener and
you're digging our content, do me a favor, leave us a five star
review. It's how other people learn
about the show and how we can spread the word.
If you don't feel like it's worthy of five stars, just go
ahead. Don't leave any review at all.
And I want to let you know that we've opened up a few slots in
our exclusive community. We're accepting applications to
join our select group of men andexperience the radical power of
(19:36):
accountability. Step up your game, cross
everything off your sexual bucket list, and become a beast
at accomplishing all of your goals.
To learn more and apply, go to innerconfidence.com slash
community.
Have you struggled to connect with the women you really want
or felt stuck in the traditionaldating mindset?
Maybe you keep hearing that you should be using Instagram and
building your social circle, andyou're sort of trying, but you
don't really get it. Or maybe you're just posting on
Instagram without creating a life that others naturally want
to be part of. Well, if that's you, you'll want
to tune into today's episode. We're diving deep into what it
(00:20):
really means to build a magneticsocial circle and why Instagram
is the ultimate tool for modern social proof.
We're not just talking about making friends or posting on
Instagram. We're talking about creating a
life so dynamic and attractive that people naturally want to be
a part of it. And one key idea we're exploring
today is this. If you can embrace the idea that
men and women actually can be friends, and I mean real
(00:40):
authentic friendships, you'll unlock the secret to winning the
dating game. This shift in focus away from
the transactional mindset reallychanges everything.
And when you pair it with the right use of social tools like
Instagram, you become unstoppable.
So here's our truth. Most guys are playing the wrong
game. They're focused on chasing
women, trying to impress people,or grinding away on the dating
(01:02):
apps. But none of that works in the
long run. Why?
Because people, especially women, aren't drawn to someone
who's chasing them. They're drawn to someone who's
built a life worth joining. This episode is about how to
stop chasing and start attracting.
We're going to cover how to use Instagram as the ultimate social
tool. The power of hosting events to
expand your social network. Why female friendships are the
(01:23):
secret weapon that will completely transform dating
life. The big idea of tying it all
together? If you focus on building a
magnetic life, you'll stop worrying about dates,
connections, or validation. They'll just come to you.
This shift really changes everything, so let's dive in.
You're listening to the Inner Confidence podcast.
Home to the social funnel method.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
(01:46):
helped over 1300 digital nomads,expats and remote workers build
an amazing social and dating life abroad.
My mission is simple, help you position yourself to meet
stunning women and make awesome friends in route to becoming the
most confident and attractive version you can be.
I have an intense hatred for fluff and useless advice that
you can't take action on, so tune in each week to.
(02:06):
Learn the most effective. And implementable strategies to
level up your game. So stick around.
Let's go. So let's talk about the
foundation of a magnetic life. To create that magnetic life,
you'll have to start by redefining your goals a little
bit. You know, most guys focus on
outcomes, dates, hookups, or finding the one finding the
dream girl, but that's really a dead end mindset.
(02:28):
A truly magnetic life starts with the question, what kind of
world do I really want to createaround me?
And one of the best examples of this comes from a friend of mine
who moved to Austin after his divorce and we became friends.
He was a client, worked togethera lot, and when he moved to
Austin, he had no friends. He had no connections, he had no
idea really how to start over. He felt alone, and he was
(02:49):
susceptible to jumping back intoanother bad relationship and
just repeating the patterns of his divorce.
He told me that he was literallyGoogling how to meet people in a
new city. He was going to meet up groups.
He joined a kickball league. He just, you know, started
saying hi to strangers at bars. And at first, he said it was
awkward. You know, there are plenty of
small interactions that didn't go anywhere.
But he kept showing up. He joined activities.
(03:11):
He showed interest in people andhe slowly started building a
network. And the big breakthrough came
when he shifted from attending events to actually hosting them.
He started hosting a karaoke night at his house every
Thursday and at first it was just a few people, 3 or 4, but
over time it grew into somethingbigger.
People started inviting their friends and it kind of became
like a thing. And the lesson here is simple.
(03:33):
Focus on creating value for others, not chasing outcomes
just for yourself. Whether it's a small happy hour
or regular game night, consistency builds trust, and
trust builds connections. Now let's talk about why
Instagram is your most powerful tool.
And it's also where a lot of guys get stuck.
They think Instagram is just a place for selfies and
(03:55):
influencers, but in reality, it's the most powerful tool you
have for social proof and connection.
And it's so much easier to standout and use it effectively than
most guys realize. Their entire understanding of
the value of Instagram is wrong and jaded with biases stuck in
the past. And if you don't use Instagram,
you're essentially signaling I don't have a social life.
Women especially use it as a wayto gauge your social value,
(04:19):
safety, and overall vibe. Here's an example.
One guy shared how his consistent Instagram presence
completely changed how people, especially women, perceived him.
He said he started posting funny, relatable content,
nothing flashy, just his authentic self.
And overtime, women began engaging with the stories,
tagging him and theirs and even reposting his stories.
(04:39):
And by the time his girlfriend met him, she'd seen his name
1000 times through Instagram. And that repetition gave him
instant validation in her eyes. So this is the key.
Instagram acts as a window into your world.
When people see that you're connected, fun, and have an
active social life, you're immediately validated.
And without it, you risk being placed in a category that feels
(05:00):
disconnected or outdated, which makes it harder to build trust
and rapport. Your Instagram doesn't have to
be perfect. It should show your personality,
humor, and the life you've built.
You know, the base of social value you create there does a
lot of the work for you. Making connections smoother,
opening doors, sometimes even before you realize you you even
need them. So why does it matter so much?
(05:23):
Well, it's the first place people go to learn about you,
especially women. My friend Bailey explained it
perfectly last week. She said I don't give up my
phone numbers to guys I just met.
My number feels too personal. But Instagram, that's easy.
I can see who you are. I can decide if I want to engage
and block you if I don't. If you're not an Instagram and
you want hot girls you're operating with one hand tied
(05:43):
behind your back, you're just making everything unnecessarily
hard. Also, it's a red flag to a lot
of girls. It's like like what is this
creep doing right? Like why is this dude like
hiding himself? Think about what that means.
Instagram is like your modern day business card.
It shows people what your life is like, your hobbies, your
friends, your personality. And here's the kicker, it really
doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to feel real.
(06:05):
For example, another one of my clients started posting funny
random stories about his daily life.
He shared clips of himself vacuuming crickets out of his
house and joked about ordering like, late night Uber Eats for a
single block or from a single block away.
It wasn't glamorous, but it was authentic and people loved it.
In one video, you know, he, he grabbed his phone and he
(06:25):
videotaped him and, you know, grabbing his Dyson trying to
vacuum up a cricket, a cricket with the caption my Kingdom for
whoever can find the cricket in my house and make a display of
it so other crickets know what will happen to them.
It's got so much, you know, loveon Instagram.
Another friend of mine explainedhow Instagram flipped his
perspective on socializing. And he said, you know, I used to
(06:48):
think of Instagram. It was just for scrolling when
you're bored. But I realized it's where
everything happens. It's invites, it's RSVPS, it's
follow-ups. If you don't go to the event,
it's what do you miss? It's FOMO.
So if you're not on Instagram, you're missing out on the entire
modern social world. If your Instagram shows that
you're fun, active and connected, people will naturally
want to engage with you. And here's a tip on stories, not
(07:10):
just the feed where your photos live.
You know, stories are more casual.
They give the people a real, youknow, they're they're giving
people a real time glimpse into your life and not just some
perfectly curated, you know, feed post.
And one of the most important shifts guys can make is to
approach socializing in a non transactional way.
Instead of trying to perfectly orchestrate every interaction
(07:32):
for dating success, focus on building friendships, especially
with women. And one of my clients described
this perfectly. He said When I met Julie, I
stopped prioritizing dating and started prioritizing as many
female friendships as possible. That became the foundation for
my social life. It wasn't about chasing dates,
but creating a group of people who wanted to hang out, whether
(07:52):
at parties or casual get togethers.
And the mindset applies to Instagram.
Many guys overthink it. They try to create the perfect
profile, the ratio of friends orfollowers, and then they end up
doing nothing. But social proof isn't about
perfection, it's about being consistent and visible.
Think of it like this. You don't want to be a dot, a
guy someone sees once and forgets.
You want to be a line, someone who appears repeatedly in
(08:15):
different contexts, creating familiarity and comfort.
Repeated exposure is super powerful.
Women aren't scrutinizing every detail of your Instagram,
they're remembering how they felt for a split second while
scrolling. The key is to show up
consistently with authentic, relatable content.
If you wait for perfection, you're missing the point.
And that's why so many guys end up stuck on dating apps instead
(08:35):
of building real connections. Real quick.
Let me take my daily shot of magic mind here.
Shake it up first now. This stuff has been awesome.
It's a total productivity hack for me.
I think it's way better than coffee and a million times
better than energy drinks which are disgusting and I've really
(08:58):
noticed the benefits of taking it daily.
Now I'm sure you've heard about productivity drinks before, but
here's what makes Magic Mind different.
They use some of the cleanest, highest quality natural
ingredients out there and God forbid I use anything unnatural.
My wife is like a psycho lookingup toxic stuff and micro
plastics and she even made us change all of our Tupperware for
glass stuff and you know, get rid of the aluminum cooking
(09:19):
trays, switch to stainless steel.
Anyways, she lets me drink magicmind.
And now I sound like a simp saying that this stuff gives me
a slow, steady energy boost, doesn't give me the jitters that
I get from energy drinks. And and it's got adapted gins,
it's got ashwaganda. This reduces stress and it keeps
your mind sharp throughout the day.
(09:39):
And I've been using it to stay focused while creating content
like this podcast, and it's honestly made a huge difference
in my workflow. So here's the deal, you can try
it for yourself with an exclusive 40% discount.
Just for my listeners, use my code
innerconfidence40@magicmind.com/innerConfidence 40.
But act fast. This offer is only available for
(10:00):
the 1st 10 orders, so let's get back into it.
This is the most important section of the podcast.
It's the value of female friendships.
And if you take one thing away from today's episode, it should
be this. Stop chasing women as dates and
start valuing them as friends. Let's break that down first.
Why are female friendships so powerful?
(10:21):
Well, they give you something you can't get anywhere else.
Social proof. When women see you surrounded by
other women who trust and value you, it sends a powerful signal.
It tells them this guy is safe, he's fun, and he's someone worth
knowing. One friend explained it like
this. When I started building
friendships with women, everything changed.
They introduced me to their friends, invited me to events,
(10:41):
and even hyped me up to other women.
I wasn't chasing any more. Opportunities were coming to me.
It's not just about dating. Female friendships bring energy
to your life that's fulfilling. It's just great to be around
beautiful feminine energy all day, right?
When I had female friends, like the urgency to hook up
disappeared. I realized what I was really
craving wasn't just sex. It was connection and that
(11:03):
feminine energy. But here's the catch.
These friendships have to be genuine.
Women can tell if you're faking it to get something.
If you approach them with respect and genuine interest in
their company, they'll value youin return.
Before we continue with the episode, if you're going out and
getting numbers and want to improve your texting so more of
those numbers convert to dates, check out my texting course and
we'll teach you the psychology of digital communication, which
(11:25):
is surprisingly polar opposite in almost every way compared to
live interactions. What works in person doesn't
work in text. So this is almost always the
area that men are making easily correctable mistakes that
they're totally unconscious of. My course will optimize your
texting, which is a skill you really need to master.
And the best part is you can cutand paste your way to mastery.
You can find the link in the description.
(11:46):
It costs less than a round of drinks.
And if you're going on dates andwant to learn what to do some
more of them end up in your yourbedroom, check out my free
dating protocol you'll learn to be an interesting guy to talk
to, even if you're serious or overanalytical.
How to help a girl open up on a date why talking about sex is a
big taboo on dates if you want to get laid and what to talk
about instead going from the first touch to the.
First kiss. How to invite her over to your
(12:08):
place and why you should skip 80% of the physical escalation
moves you're doing back at your place.
The link to this free guide is in the description.
Out of all the guys I know, the only ones who managed to
consistently land eights and up are the guys who have built a
social circle, can certainly approach women and use the apps
to get laid, but those strategies simply don't really
work on top tier women. Think about it.
She's hot. She has hot friends and hot
(12:29):
girls get invited to high statusevents almost every single
night. So when it comes time to get
ready for your date, do you think she's going to show up or
flake last minute when her girlfriend texts her to come to
some awesome thing? As if she's going to choose the
random dude on Hinge. Or the guy who chased her down
on the. Street over her social.
Circle. No chance if you're getting tons
of flakes. This is the reason.
But for most guys, the idea of building a social.
(12:51):
Social circle especially. If you're travelling or in a new
city can feel overwhelming. So they continue to hunt for
women in their usual ways, and they end up settling for a girl
they were never really that excited about in the first
place. To avoid this fate.
Join our community of aspiring international Playboys and
instantly plug into a highly vetted social circle of cool
dudes to network and navigate your journey with.
You already know it's hard to find a wing man because the good
(13:12):
ones don't really stay in the game very long.
They get married, life goes on, right?
Many of our members travel together, they end up living
together, and they build amazingsocial circles in the best kept
secret locations around the globe with gorgeous women and
low cost of living. I'm extremely careful who I let
into this community, but if you feel like you'd make a good fit,
you can learn more about the social funnel method to
(13:33):
consistently land top tier womenand apply to join our community.
The link is in the description. Now let's get back to the show.
One of the most transformative stories I've heard comes from a
guy who stopped trying to date every woman he met and instead
focused on building a core groupof female friends.
He said I stopped being thirsty and women noticed.
They started tagging me in theirposts and inviting me to events
(13:53):
and introducing me to their social circles.
I didn't have to chase anymore. It all just came to me.
So here's your take away. Stop seeing women as potential
dates and start seeing them as allies.
Build friendships first, and everything else is just going to
follow very naturally. Next, let's talk about hosting
events. It's one of the fastest ways to
build a social circle, but it's not about throwing the biggest
(14:14):
party. It's about creating a vibe where
people feel comfortable and theycan connect with each other.
Start small. One guy I know began with a
weekly karaoke night at his house.
First, it was just three or fourpeople stayed consistent.
Over time, it grew. People started bringing their
friends and that's the key. It's consistency.
People need to know they can count on you to create a space
where they can have fun, they can relax.
(14:35):
And here's the pro move. You have to use Instagram to
amplify your events. You got to post stories, you got
to tag people who attended. You got to share the highlights.
Like just as important as hosting the event, it's
documenting the event. And if you've never hosted,
don't get overwhelmed. Like it can be daunting, but
it's way easier and way more funthan you think.
(14:55):
One of my clients said I had a Zoom call with my hood, Robbie,
and he told me you need to throwa party.
I started doing what most guys do, waffling on times and making
excuses. But he made me pull up my
calendar and pick a date. And that was their turning
point. And I remember doing that to him
and it was it was great. That's what he needed.
And in that process of hosting that first party, he realized
(15:17):
that everything that mattered happened on Instagram.
Like it was all of it, all the invites, all the coordination,
everything. People had his number, but we're
messaging him on Instagram and it was just like, OK, Instagram.
I thought it was the sideshow, but it's actually the main
event. He thought Instagram was just
(15:39):
something you did when you're bored, when you're like taking a
dump or whatever. But you know, it's like the
phone was for coordinating and stuff like that.
And it was like, Nope, that's just not how it works anymore.
Instagram is for everything. The phone means you're old, so
that's where it really flipped for him.
Also, by tagging people and tagging venues you create a
(15:59):
ripple effect that brings in even more connections.
You don't need a massive budget,toast events.
Start with what you have. Happy hour, a game night, even a
group workout. Focus on creating a welcoming
environment and the rest will take care of itself.
Hey, so real quick I've decided that 2024 is the year that I
really try to up my social mediagame and more specifically my
(16:19):
Instagram, and I think you should too.
I'll be sharing thoughts, lessons and ideas there almost
every day and I'd love to interact with you and help you
grow. So if you're active on Instagram
already, and you should be because Instagram is the only
online dating platform in a way that most of your communication
with beautiful women is going tofunnel, then shoot me a follow
(16:40):
link via the show notes. I'm at Robbie under score
Kramer. Let me know what you're working
on and if there's any way I can help.
All right, back to the show. Let's talk about scaling your
social influence next. So once you build a foundation,
it's time to scale. And this is where strategy comes
into play. First, leverage Instagram
strategically. Tag venues, DJs or influencers
(17:01):
and you'll get noticed by peopleoutside of your immediate
circle. One guy explained how this
worked for him. He said he started tagging
venues and his stories, and overtime the management noticed.
They started inviting him to exclusive events, which further
expanded his network. And next, collaborate with
people who have influence. You can partner with DJs, event
hosts, other connectors to tap into their networks.
(17:24):
One friend described how hostingADJ rescue party at the last
minute unlocked a whole new level of connections.
You know, they, they needed a venue.
Something happened with the venue that they had.
So he's like, you can just come to my place.
I've got a, I've got a music setup.
I've, you know, we can do it there.
And the DJ's brought their entire circle And suddenly he
was on the radar of people he never would have met otherwise.
It really unlocked like a whole new group of, of people in his
(17:48):
social circle. And that's how social circles
work. It's, it's, you know, it's one
connection can open a giant web or network of more people.
Like it just takes 1 and you gotta, you know, go through a
lot of people to find that one person who's going to unlock the
next thing. But it can, you know, it doesn't
happen, you know, step by step. And it's like you'll, you'll do
(18:09):
a bunch of stuff and maybe nothing will happen and then one
thing will just explode into like a whole new realm.
So remember, focus on creating unique experiences, theme
events, creative meetups, exclusive gatherings stand out
and they keep people coming back.
The goal is to build a life that's dynamic and engaging
where people feel lucky to be part of your world.
So to bring it all together, let's revisit the core idea of
(18:32):
today's episode. Stop chasing.
Start attracting. Here's your road map.
First, build a life that reflects your best self.
Use Instagram to showcase your world authentically.
Embrace women as friends as a cornerstone of your social life,
Host events that prioritize connection and consistency.
Scale strategically by leveraging your network and
(18:53):
thinking creatively. When you focus on creating value
and building an authentic relationship with people,
everything else, dating, friendships, even professional
opportunities fall into place. So thanks for tuning in today.
If you want to dive deeper, booka call with me.
We'll figure out a road map of what you need to do specifically
to win the game. So keep building, keep
connecting, and I'll see you guys next time.
(19:16):
I hope you enjoyed the episode. If you're a regular listener and
you're digging our content, do me a favor, leave us a five star
review. It's how other people learn
about the show and how we can spread the word.
If you don't feel like it's worthy of five stars, just go
ahead. Don't leave any review at all.
And I want to let you know that we've opened up a few slots in
our exclusive community. We're accepting applications to
join our select group of men andexperience the radical power of
(19:36):
accountability. Step up your game, cross
everything off your sexual bucket list, and become a beast
at accomplishing all of your goals.
To learn more and apply, go to innerconfidence.com slash
community.
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