This Dating Hack Beats Bars, Apps, and Cold Approach and No One Talks About It

Links:

Book a call:⁠ https://www.innerconfidence.com/community⁠

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Timestamps:

07:45 Missed Connection Before Moving

10:48 "Dance Mastery Through One Style"

19:29 Dance: Embracing Leadership and Flow

22:31 Casual Dance Dynamics Explained

28:25 Journey to Improvement and Challenges

34:03 "Forcefulness on the Dance Floor"

38:36 Country Bar Dance Encounter

45:05 Dance Etiquette: Avoid Consecutive Partners

50:43 Choose Partner Dancing Venues

52:51 West Coast Swing: Fun and Challenging

01:01:20 Dancing Biologist's Double Life

01:03:40 "Dance Addiction in Country Scene"

01:08:00 Build High-Status Social Circles

Connect w/ Robbie: 

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TikTok:⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@robbie.kramer⁠⁠

YouTube:⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.youtube.com/innerconfidence

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
If you've ever felt like bars and dating apps are just not it,
you're not the only one. In today's episode, I'm bringing
on a former client who stumbled across one of the greatest
hidden dating funnels I've ever seen, and it has nothing to do
with cold approaching, Tinder swiping, or bottle service.
It's dancing. More specifically, swing
dancing, in his case, Texas 2 Step.

(00:21):
There's other forms of it as well, and this guy has turned it
into a cheat code for dating high quality women.
And even after dragging A skeptical DJ friend to a dance
hall one night, that guy never set foot in a bar again.
And his exact words were. This is literally the ultimate
hack for single men. So we're going to breakdown why
this works even if you've got 2 left feet, how fast the average
guy can see results, and why dancing, especially in today's

(00:44):
lonely, screen addicted world, is a magnet for hot, feminine
women craving connections. So whether you're a total
beginner or you've tried salsa and felt awkward about it,
listen up. This might be just the funnel
you've been missing. You're listening to the Inner
Confidence podcast. My name is Robbie Kramer, I've
been a coach since 2007 and I'vehelped countless men rapidly
achieve all their social and dating goals.

(01:06):
My mission is simple, to help you position yourself to meet
stunning women, make awesome friends in route to becoming the
most confident and attractive version you can possibly be.
I'm absolutely obsessed with giving you the most leverage
ways possible to win the game. So stick around, let's go.
Welcome my man, say your name 'cause you are going to remain
anonymous for good reason. Refer to that, yes.

(01:29):
So tell us how did you discover this scene?
Like how did you get into it? You know, give give us some
background here. Well, when I moved out to Texas,
I, you know, I did not grow up here and I didn't even think I
was moving to Texas. I thought I was going to be
going somewhere else. And I had some friends say, oh,

(01:50):
you don't need to check out, check out the the Austin area.
You know, it's a, it's a fun city, you know, I think you'd
vibe there. So about a week into it, not
really knowing anybody out here.I, I had made a Facebook post
and then like a new mover group and it was something like, you

(02:11):
know, just looking to meet people tonight, want to make
some new friends. I don't want to get belligerent
drunk. What do you guys recommend?
And this girl who is now a dear friend of mine, she sent me a
message saying, oh, you should go to stepping.
And I go, I don't know what, what is that?
She goes, oh, it's like country dancing.
And in my head I'm, I'm like kind of rolling my eyes on my

(02:32):
head and I'm thinking, OK, this like, you know, like this is
some square dance hoedown shit. You know what square dance?
Oh, yeah, I love what I was, I just wanted to like a like a
barn dance or something. So I was like, OK, that sounds
cute. I'll do.
I'll do a little redneck square dance for a night.
Makes me think of like the electric slide that they do at
bar mitzvahs. You know everyone, Yeah.

(02:52):
The Texan version of that, right.
So I'm just thinking like I'll ride a horse, shoot a gun, do
the little 2 step and then I'll leave like that was that was how
it I envisioned my head and I got to this bar one night and it
was a small country bar and I took a beginner beginner lesson
now that I know was actually a Taurus lesson.

(03:12):
Like it's the woman does the exact same thing every time.
And so even the same jokes and everything.
And I thought she was super witty the first time and then I
come again and she's doing the exact same thing.
I'm like, this is for girls, butit was at least enough for me to
have fun. And you know, I was out there
till 2:00 in the morning, you know, a bunch of girls gave me
their Instagram. It kind of felt a little

(03:33):
effortless. Like I, I just remember thinking
this is, you know, whether anything comes out of these, you
know, Instagram accounts or not,there's something to this that I
got like 6 or 7 girls Instagramsjust because they were fun to
dance with. I just always felt like if I
went to a bar, it's like, you know, you're talking to a girl
for there's, there's a whole, there's a whole, you know, it
takes a lot of effort. Sometimes This felt very

(03:53):
effortless. Now, granted, I also have good
rhythm. I enjoy like moving my body.
So there were a few things like already working for me that I
just will acknowledge not every guy is in that same mental space
to begin with. But for someone who just likes
to like, you know, move my body,like feel good energy, that was
that was a very easy, fun outletfor me.

(04:14):
So I decided to go back the nextday and take like the lesson
because a lot of these places inTexas, like they will do a
lesson before social dancing. So I was like, I'll do, I'll do
the same. I'll do the lesson again, I'll
get better. And it was the exact same thing.
And I was kind of bored. So I asked someone I go, you
know, where can I learn stuff that isn't just like the same
thing every time? And someone was like, oh, you
should go to this other place that's more of a dance hall.

(04:37):
In Texas, there's a big distinction between like the
small country bars that do 2 step, which is not actually 2
step. It's sort of the nickname is
like Texas 2 step. It's it's really country swing
with a 2 step beat. Texas is the only state that
does that specific thing. Like you go to Arizona, that's
all country swing. They're they don't know what
Texas 2 step or they're not gonna if you do try doing that,

(04:57):
they're gonna be what are you doing?
And California is like West. California, it's gonna, it's
gonna be a 2 step country swing.There's gonna be a lot of line
dancing, which actually works for your benefit if you're a
man, because that means less people know how to partner
dance. So we'll be way less people that
know what they're doing. And on the East Coast, what is
it? On the east, it depends on
depends on where on the East Coast are you talking about like

(05:19):
northeast or? Yeah, New York.
Boston, yeah. So New York is going to be very
Latin based. Like there is a 2 step community
in New York City. It's mostly like LGBTQ.
I've gone once. I would say it was not a very
conducive place to. Well, the reason, the reason why
I ask is so because I feel like a bunch of guys will be like,
well, what if they don't have itin my city?

(05:41):
You know, and I've tried salsa before, like when, when you
first told me about this, I've been I've been to salsa a couple
times, right? And I always which?
Is really, really hard to break into.
Oh, yeah. So, you know, my brother comes
to visit me in Texas and he didn't think he wanted anything
to do with this. He's like, I'll come out with
you one night. He thought it was so cool.
He wanted to take some lessons. He did like four or five lessons

(06:04):
while he was out in Texas with me until he finally felt ready
to dance. And that's that's actually a
story worth sharing, which I'd like to get to at some point.
But when he got back to New York, you finally decided, you
know, check out the country scene.
It's it's a very small, it's really not that great.
Like it's fun, it's cute, but it's it's I would say it's not
wasn't really my vibe and it's more like the LGBTQ community.

(06:26):
But the really, if you want to go out social dancing in New
York, it's either going to be the Latin scene or the swing
scene. Both East Coast and West Coast
swing. West Coast is really cool, but
the so but the problem. I think New York's probably one
of the hardest cities actually. Well, luckily New York's great
for other forms of dating, so. Absolutely, absolutely no.

(06:47):
No, I guess the question before we get into the the some of the
nitty gritty on the different styles and dancing, that sort of
thing, can you kind of paint a picture of your dating life
before dancing and then after dancing?
Cuz you're no slouch like you and I worked together for a long
time. Yeah.
No, no, no for sure. I'd say beforehand.
So I was living on the East Coast beforehand.

(07:10):
I was dating a girl long distance for about a year and
then before that I was dating. I had a girlfriend for four
years and living in the Northeast, you know, typically
the woman that I tend to gravitate more to are more of
like the Midwestern like farm girl type girl like that.
That's just more like what I getalong with, like more my vibe.

(07:32):
So obviously I've made it very difficult for me.
I've I've like, I've had two girls that have lived with me
before they were both from Iowa that travel across the country
to, to live with me, right. So.
Iowa girls are great. I've met a few of them.
Hometown hotties. Right.
Oh yeah, that was great. But it was a lot of like, using
the apps, you know, sometimes itwould just be like meeting

(07:53):
someone at a park, you know, Like, there was a girl who was
actually kind of funny right before I left.
I was living in Philadelphia before Texas.
And like the week of me moving, I went out one day and there was
this girl like doing nonprofit, you know, raising money for some
nonprofit. And we got in a conversation
and, you know, then and I kept walking and I just remember

(08:13):
thinking like, oh man, she was great.
But I'm moving in a week And it's like, you know, fuck, fuck
this. And I just, I just walked back
over to her and, and I go, Hey, you know, I'm, I am moving in a
week, but I love the vibe. Do you want to just like grab
dinner across the street? There's like a great place just
like, yeah, you want to like wait till I'm like off work and
I go, yeah, sure. You're in a rude.
And then and then I said, I gotta go.

(08:34):
How is a sweet girl like you living in Philadelphia?
You don't have the vibe at all. And she's like, oh, I'm from
Omaha, NE I'm like, yeah, of course, of of course she of
course she are. And she was actually a great,
and I think it was a great, great, great, great.
The granddaughter of one of the former US presidents, which I'm
not going to say, but, you know,it would.
So I, I used to date mostly fromthe apps occasionally for

(08:57):
meeting someone in person. It wasn't any kind of damn
thing. And I personally don't have a
very good track record in meeting girls in bars just
because that's not really, it's never really been my thing.
You know, it just always felt force to me.
So and you had a little bit of an experience with dancing.
Tell us about that. Well, I've had a few very brief

(09:17):
experiences with dancing. My first experience was in
summer camp when I was like 8 or9.
And one of the things we had waslike tap and jazz.
It was like solo. And it's very, I would say it's
very, I'd say if you're like a male tap dancer, it's kind of
gay. Like it's very, it's very
feminine. Yeah.
That's. The problem with a lot of

(09:38):
dancing for guys is it can be very feminine.
I was in cotillion as like, I don't know what 9 year old or
something. So I, I learned a bunch of fun
dance dances that I still remember one of those including
swing dance. But you know, you learned the
waltz and the, the cha cha and all that shit.

(10:00):
But you know, that was, most people don't do cotillion.
My mom like put me in that. And then I basically just kind
of learned to, to, to dance in avery bad way in high school,
like, you know, grinding on girls and that sort of thing.
I still feel like I have very poor rhythm, but I, I, at least
I have fun. Like I'm not afraid to go out
there and have fun and just kindof embrace it.

(10:20):
But I think a lot of guys who you know, and I've tried salsa
feel like I've got 2 left feet. Well, so salsa, so I'm going to
stop you for a second. So salsa when a, when a man
tells me they have two left feet, it's sort of the
equivalent of a woman saying, yeah, I'm just a klutz on the
dance floor and I'll stumble around, but I'll smile and and
and try, right. Any anyone that's talking like

(10:43):
that, it speaks to that they don't have like basic partner
principles. And the one thing, The thing is,
like, once you learn one partnerdance, the other ones become
significantly easier to learn. Like I remember talking to this
teacher and I said, oh, like, what style do you teach?
He goes, well, I teach, you know, 36 different styles of
dance. And I remember thinking, like,
I've been doing this for six months on one style.

(11:04):
How are you teaching 36 three years later?
It makes a lot more sense because you know, it's like when
people ask like what what are all the styles that you know how
to dance? I'm like, well, I can do West
Coast swing, East Coast swing, country swing, 2 step, one step,
Barcos waltz, polka 222. You know, they're like, Oh my
God, how did you learn all of that?
I'm like, well, I learned 2 stepand like the other ones were 90%

(11:24):
easier, but you know, you're 90%of the way.
All the other ones after that with, with some exceptions.
But yeah, salsa is really hard. So like my brother when I was
saying earlier, he is doing, he's still right now doing salsa
classes because if you go to NewYork City, the Latin scene is
it's either do you do Latin or you do West Coast and you're

(11:45):
screwed either way because they're both very difficult.
If I was going to New York City,I would do West Coast,
personally. My brother chose Latin and
that's fine. And then the the two main Latin
dances that people do socially are going to be bachata and
salsa. In New York City, it's almost
all salsa from what I understand, very little bachata
and. Every time I picture a salsa
class, I I picture like the fucking greasy, you know,

(12:09):
Spanish teacher who bangs all the girls and then like a bunch
of girls who are like really good, but I would feel
intimidated to dance with them and then some like feminine
annoying douchebag guys. I want to punch in the face.
And I'm just like, fuck this. I'm not going to that shit.
I'm going to suck. The girls are gonna think I'm

(12:29):
creepy because they're gonna know that I'm there just to hook
up with them or meet them. So the whole thing feels like
forced. Yes, and to learn salsa first.
I wouldn't even do many group classes.
I would just go right to the privates, which I would say I
would do with most. If you're a new dancer, I would
do private lessons to start. But my brother who's not, you

(12:49):
know, who's not rhythmically stupid, you know, he's been
doing private lessons now, I think for three months and he's
just getting somewhat comfortable going out socially.
The Aladdin scene typically is going to be very spicy Latinas.
And even if they say like, oh, it's OK that you're a beginner,
you will be able to feel that it's not OK that you're a
beginner. But they will judge you and they

(13:10):
will feel it and they're going to want to back lead and you
will feel like they're wearing the pants and the dance.
That's just the culture. Now, once you get good, it's,
it's, it's spicy and fun and it can be pretty hot, but there's
going to be a learning curve. And I'm just, if you get into
Latin, there's going to be a learning curve.
I guess to to put some context around just dancing and you and
I discussed this yesterday as a form of energetic, masculine,

(13:34):
feminine exchange. It's not sex, but it's very
close to. It's the only thing that I've
ever experienced where you get that level of exchange that's
not in the bedroom. And I've heard many wise men say
I never had to learn anything about dating, I just got really
good at dancing. That's a that's a very wise

(13:54):
thing to say. It's hard, though, to see that
when you know, it's like if someone's a virgin, they'd be
like, well, what's sex like? It's like, oh, once you once you
experience good sex, you'll know, you know, And it's the
same thing if you are a virgin on the dance floor and you
haven't made it to the place where you're dancing as a form

(14:15):
of your actual expression. Or if you're still thinking
about the moves where I say you're not really a dancer
dancer yet you're just mechanical.
You're going to be like this. I don't even get the point of
this. It's not going to feel natural
at all. So you asked me my, what I my
experience with dancing was likewhen I was little with this tap.
I'm like, well, this is just dumb.
And then when I got older, when I was living near Boston, I did

(14:39):
actually like a like a one monthlike salsa class where it was
like, you know, every week you do a thing.
And then they'd of social and I,I was like, whatever, but I
didn't really feel I could social dance it.
I danced with maybe two people in a month.
It was very intimidating. I felt very awkward.
I'm like this, this isn't fun for me.
So I had a very negative, I'd say actually negative view of

(15:00):
dancing as a man. Just thinking like, I don't
really see the point of of this,not understanding that from
going from pretty much nothing and feeling completely like like
like an idiot on the dance floorto being decent was only a few
month gap. And even though that may sound a

(15:20):
lot like, I would imagine this, you probably have clients of
yours where they will spend months if not years on cold
approaches and being comfortable.
But right, it's been so right. So the amount of time, money and
energy that you will spend trying to get comfortable at
that game is to me, I'm not saying it's ridiculous.

(15:41):
I think those are important skill sets to learn.
But this is also going to take time and money because lessons
are expensive. But we're talking, we're talking
a few months, we're not talking a year.
And then once you have that, youhave that for life.
Well, the the real thing I see that's a a massive benefit.
It's the built in social circle,right, 'cause not only are you
doing some a skill that makes you, you know, better at

(16:03):
flirting, better at sexual tension, moving, moving better,
probably better at sex. But you're building friends in a
social circle. And there's already these built
in social circles through the dance place.
And it's not that hard with putting in a little bit of time
and you can become a fixture of that social circle.
And there's nothing better for dating than a social circle with

(16:25):
a ton of cute girls. 100% you goto, you go to a dance floor
within a few months. And you know, even when I'm on a
date, sometimes they'll just be like, Hey, you want to grab a
bite and then go dancing. And a girl might be like, Oh,
I've never done that before. I don't know what I'm doing.
Like, well, I could either take you to a beginner lesson or I
can spend some time teaching youmyself.
And then once we get there, theywill see that like 20 different

(16:48):
people know who I am, which instantly creates a level of
safety for them. Right.
And I'll introduce them to people.
And even though these aren't, you know, most of these guys are
not going to be like people I hang out with outside the dance
floor, just to be totally honest.
But the fact that, like, you know, I've been doing this for
three years, people know me. People have an opinion of me.
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

(17:09):
But they they have enough of an opinion about me to have an
opinion about me. If there's a sort of signaling
like this isn't just something you went to like, once or twice,
like you, you were socially embedded in this community.
Yeah. And it certainly creates a a
level of you just called social perf or whatever.
Yeah, status. You have a lot of status.
You have pre selection because women are seeing you dance with
other women. Do I see a woman come up to me

(17:31):
to ask me to dance? Right.
Oh, yeah, you're on a first datewith a girl and you go to a
place where you're like the kingin there and girls are like, Oh
my God, let's dance in here. Oh, this is my friend, blah,
blah. Like game over real quick.
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(17:54):
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(18:15):
So how long would it take to see?
How long did it take for you to sort of see those results?
And how long would it take somebody who's feels kind of
more like me, they they feel like they have the two left feet
syndrome and to, to start to feel confident and see some
results from it. I would give it a good, I don't
know, let's see. So my buddy who, who I just got

(18:38):
my my DJ friend who who, who just started to learn how to
dance. I think maybe about a month ago,
literally. And he completely not
coordinated right? Like, you know, you would think
like I thought, Oh you DJ, he knows like how to keep a rhythm
and be like totally different skill set.
The first night he came out, he said to me, he goes, I haven't

(18:59):
felt like this insecure like in a long time.
One thing that I say is like thedance floor never lies where if
you have certain inadequacies like in life, it will show up on
the dance floor. I don't know if everyone
contextualizes like that, but ifyou ask anyone who's danced for
like several years, 100% of people will tell you it's been
massively life changing. It's like you don't even have to

(19:20):
be into personal development or have a coach or anything.
You could be like the dumbest, like least self aware person on
the planet and it will still, itwill still impact you.
Yeah. If you're a woman, it will allow
you to flow more and be like more in your feminine.
If you're a man, it will allow you to just be a better leader
in life. I mean, those skills translate
way outside the dance floor. To give you an example of this,

(19:41):
of just sort of the spaces that one can kind of expect to go
through when you first learn to lead, you'll experience one of
two things. And while I'm saying this, you
can think about this in the context of just like masculine,
feminine polarity, when you first learn to lead there,
there's probably going to be this like very uncomfortable
sort of awkwardness that a lot of men haven't felt since

(20:02):
they're like in middle school. It's a really weird.
Experience like I felt like Oh my God I feel like I'm 12 again
and like I don't have any friends in the middle school or
something. It was a very strange
experience. My DJ friend kind of felt the
same. He's like, I haven't felt this
insecure like a long, long time.I've felt that.
It's salsa. Oh yeah.
Yeah, so you get it right. To get over that hump maybe

(20:24):
takes like a week. I don't know.
My my buddy within Week 2 was already feeling better.
He also was smart, though I'd say most guys are not this smart
about it. He started taking private
lessons right away. He's like, how do I get more
comfortable? I go do privates.
I know it's like $100 a pop, butthis will save you so much time
and energy. Yeah.
Within a week he comes back and he's like, dude, my coach is

(20:47):
amazing. And he felt so much better.
I. Mean it's like anything.
Like if you're a total newbie atgolf and you just go out there
like you don't know how to stand, you don't know how to
grip it, you don't know anything, you're just going to
suck and you're going to ingrainbad habits.
I'm sure it's the same with dancing, right?
Exactly the same, like even justlike basic footwork, like how to
have basic frame, like the most basic of things.

(21:08):
It's going to be mind blowing for you that, you know, probably
for a few months, honestly. So where he was at like week
two, he was like, well, I definitely still suck, but at
least I'm starting to have fun. And then by week 3, he had
already met a girl out there. And, you know, he's like, yeah,
man, I met this great girl. We had some hot dances, and we
just went paddle boarding last, you know, like yesterday, we're

(21:28):
hooking up on the water. And like, you know, he's already
starting to see results. And he was just like, every week
he just keeps reporting back newstuff to me of how incredible
all this is. And we had a little, it was a
great experience. So last week we had an
experience where apparently thisgirl had some sketchy friends
and they got jealous of us. It was this weird thing that
doesn't honestly happen too muchin that community, But but you

(21:51):
got to experience like an extreme example of like some
guys getting angry at him. You know, he wanted to grab a
bite with this girl and she brought her friend and then
these two sketchy guys came along.
I've never experienced that in my entire life.
And he's like, is this normal? I'm like, no, not really, but
you know, could you experience that?
But what was cool, and this is what's so cool is like, I'm kind
of glad he experienced this. When we got back to the dance
floor, he's like, what, what do I do?

(22:13):
Like if I, you know, if she's being like a little weird around
me now and I go, that's great. There's a hundred other hot
girls here. Just start dancing with them and
instantly he didn't have to be attached to her.
And then she can see him dancingwith other cute girls.
And it's I'd say likely within the next like month or two at
some point, she'll approach her,be like, Hey, sorry about my

(22:33):
friends. Like they're like, you know, I
don't even like them and I don'tknow how to handle myself.
Something like that could happen.
But The thing is, is like if a girl feels like she's like being
like, you know, pulling away a little better, maybe you have
this amazing, great dance and then you have two amazing, great
dances. But then she's like, well, I
don't really want and I go home with this guy and or I don't
necessarily know if I don't wantto hang out with him or give him

(22:55):
my number. Well, that's OK because you'll
probably see her every single week out dancing.
So you don't have to rush anything.
And sometimes I'll have some great dances with a girl and
then I'll have a great dance with plenty other girls in the
interim. And then six months later me and
her fuck totally. And so it almost becomes a
pipeline. Oh, for sure, and the the, the

(23:15):
slower, the the long game, sometimes the the sexier and the
the the more into you she's going to become over over that
period of time, 'cause you're not the thirsty guy trying to
hit it right away. And that's.
That's that's the thing though, is that when you're can just
enjoy dancing, you're not going to be thirsty because you

(23:36):
actually can just enjoy what you're doing.
The women will come. I think that's such like what
the great benefit is. Like when I go to a bar, it's
like I don't really enjoy drinking that much and I don't
really enjoy like talking to a girl for drinks.
It's like I want to do more thanthat so they can pick up that I
I'm not really like, this isn't really the place that I want to
be and I'm really there just to hook up with girls.

(23:58):
It's going to be less conducive for me because I'm just not
enjoying the process. I really don't like that.
I really don't like the process.I don't think any guy really
likes that, right. It's like those conversations
are awkward and. There are some guys I've met for
the IT really seems like they enjoy themselves and like
they're into drinking and like that's their thing and they want
to be with their drinking, but which is great.
I just this just not not not me.For sure.

(24:20):
So is it better to go with a buddy and is it OK to go alone
if if you don't have a buddy to go with?
I don't think it really matters honestly.
I do think that probably the best the best situation would be
if you have a a buddy who already is ingrained in the
dance community, already knows how to dance.

(24:41):
That's probably your best bet because then he can introduce
you. You can go to him for feedback.
I'd say it's the best case scenario, but I don't really
think it's necessary at all because if you're new,
especially in a a more open, accepting community, if your
city has country dancing, that'sgoing to be the best.
Like the whole country scene kind of prides ourselves on

(25:03):
being more accepting. We're not judgmental.
Like really not judgmental. You know, girls will dance with
guys who've never danced before.In fact, as long as you're
honest about it, it's kind of cool.
Like, people will want to make you feel included.
They want you to keep coming back, especially if you're a
guy. Most dance communities need more
men. And the women are like, yeah,
we're starved for good leads. So the woman will want.

(25:26):
Sort of ratio can you expect? I don't know.
That's a good question. I mean, there's definitely more
women than men. Every woman will say we need
more good leads. So just because there's there's,
you know, out of 100 guys doesn't mean that all of them
are going to know what they're doing on the dance floor, right?
It's. Going to be a small, small
percentage which they're probably going to clean up I.

(25:47):
Don't know about small percentage, but maybe 50% are
not going to really know what they're doing, you know?
And, and a girl doesn't necessarily just want to dance
with a guy who is either going to jerk them around or be sort
of too light with them. So you had asked me earlier sort
of what you could expect with the different spaces.
So let's, I think if we can get into that.

(26:09):
So the first space is like, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm a little nervous to do anything.
And you go do like a even A1 private lesson for like 40
minutes. You'll come back and be like,
Oh, I feel like I can do a few things.
You might meet some girls. You're still going to feel like
you suck. And the the first headspace men
go into is oh, girls definitely are bored by me.
Like this is boring. And the the advice that I'd like

(26:31):
the pre emptive advice I'd give any man is that's actually you
feeling bored that she will feelbored.
If you feel bored. So even if you know like an
outside turn, inside turn and that's it, do that and have as
much fun as you can. I know it's hard, but like have
as much fun as you can doing those two things and she will
have fun at some point. Like I'd say learn to follow.

(26:54):
That's way down the line. But like I know how to follow as
well. I'm not a great follower, but
I'm probably above average. I'm probably better than most
girls that following. And I can tell you that I'm
going to dance with the with thebeginner guy and he's leading me
around and he's only doing 3 things.
I don't even notice he's doing only three things if he's having
fun. And that was a very cool
experience for me to feel that because it's really true.

(27:14):
Like if a guy is fun and he's enjoying himself, it's going to
make it fun for the girl. And the extreme example of that
is there's guys who are, they come from more of like the, the
formally trained ballroom space.And they still haven't learned
to express themselves. So technically they're very
good, but energetically they're,they're, they're not.
And you know, everything's goingto be like proper and, and

(27:35):
angular. And I'll tell you they're not
that fun to dance with either because it's it's too technical
and most girls would rather dance with a guy who's fun who
knows 5 moves than like a ballroom.
Dude. She was way too serious about
this and actually not connectingin the partnership.
It it is a partnership. I remember 3 to 5 moves from the

(27:56):
swing dancing I learned when I was 10.
And I use that shit all the timebecause it's very physical.
You're like picking her up, you're dipping her, you're,
you're swinging her around, you know, and they love it.
And it's, it's so masculine. Like everyone's seen crazy,
stupid Love or Dirty Dancing where he picks her up, right?

(28:16):
It's so iconic. And women want to to feel small
and like, you know, manhandled by a guy that they're into.
For sure. So this goes now I'll, I'll go
into like the energetic component of this.
So right, so there's that space where you kind of suck and then
there's like maybe two to three months into it, you're going to
start to feel like you're getting better and you're going
to kind of feel like, oh, I'm hot shit, this is awesome.

(28:38):
You're going to start to see results with women 100% and it
gets addicting. You know, I mean, it starts to
get really addicting, especiallyonce you start to feel the
partnership. At some point, usually around
like the three to six month mark, there's going to be stuff
you want to do and you're going to be like, I can't do that.
Because what it's going to take to get to that level, you're
going to have to like unlearn everything you've just learned

(29:02):
to, to do that because now you actually need to be more
ballroomy. You need to actually know proper
technique and proper form. And doesn't mean you, you stay
with it, but you, you need to learn the rules to break the
rules essentially. And that's sort of another six
months to get to that next level, because now you have to
do an inside turn foot on the right foot and make sure she's

(29:22):
on the right foot and take into account her footwork.
And now how do I control her feet?
But these are already super advanced things.
Right, these are which I'm saying don't worry about week 1.
You've already got your social circle of hot girls by then,
right? You're coming week in and week
out, Yeah. Right.
But at that level, I'm just saying like this is sort of what
to look forward to at that level.
Say now you're a year, year and a half into it, or you've been

(29:44):
doing this a couple nights a week.
At that point, you can go into any room in any city in the
world and people will be like, holy shit, that guy knows how to
dance and girls will watch the dance all night.
I can go to, you know, if I, if I took a plane right now, it's
Saturday, I could take a plane to West Palm Beach right now.
And I 1000% a million percent could guarantee you that if I

(30:06):
walked into the, the famous country bar in West Palm Beach,
FL right now, I will be either the best or second best dancer,
but probably the best dancer in the entire room out of hundreds
of people. And I will get many girls
numbers, many girls Instagrams and probably 80% can hook up
with a girl that night. And if not, and I'd say 100%

(30:27):
hook up with a girl you know within the next week, just just
from a random city. That's amazing.
I mean, when I felt I was at thepeak of my sort of
conversational bar style, just go to a bar and pick up a girl
game, right? Like I'm not 80% is way too
high. It was more like 30 to 50%

(30:48):
right. And that's doing tons of
approaches. You know, like if I, if I knew,
I'd go out and do 10 approaches that night.
And I had a good wing man and I had like the plan where to bring
her after and the, you know, thewhole like after party
logistics. That's the whole sort of thing.
You know, I was approaching those numbers, but not even
close. So this is pretty and.
What's and what's cool is like Ican tell your girl.

(31:08):
I don't have to get drunk. And you're you're doing
something that's good for your body, good for your health,
right? Oh, yeah.
So the other thing. Is like I try to get between 10
and 15,000 steps a night when I go dancing I keep my phone on me
so I track my steps so it's alsoa workout for me.
Like from a personal thing. Speaking of getting drunk real
quick, have you ever tried this new brew?
I have to plug them. No.

(31:30):
So they keep sending me the stuff.
It's great. There's no booze in it.
It's a euphoric seltzer. Kratom leaf, Kava root.
If I drink 2. I would love that.
I would, I love. I do love kratom and Kava.
Yeah, try it. It's drinknewbrew.com so.
Okay, cool. Yeah, I actually love especially
kratom. I love, I love kratom.

(31:50):
The other thing too is like, that's the other thing, right?
It's like when you become a goodenough lead, I have a saying
that if you can make a drunk girl look good, now you know how
to lead. So with a woman who's starting
out, I always tell them, don't dance with new, sorry, but like,
don't I go don't dance with new men because you're going to
learn bad habits with new men. I actually say dance with

(32:11):
everybody because if you only dance with a good dancer, you're
going to think you're a lot better than you actually are
because, because a good follow, like a really good follow.
If she's going to make you feel like you're the lead, like she's
going to make you feel like, like you're God like, like the
most masculine man in the world,but but she knows not.

(32:32):
She knows not to back lead, but she knows how to.
So surrender into your frame, even if your frame sucks that
she'll make you better through following.
Dude, I had this experience ice skating because I, I play ice
hockey, so I'm a terrific skater, but I'm not a figure
skater, right? Yeah, I don't really know any
figure skating moves, but I can,I can skate, right?
Like, I better than I can walk almost.

(32:53):
And I, I never really tried figure skating, but there was
this really cute girl who was like in one of the like,
personal growth courses, you know, landmark, that sort of
thing that we've both done in the past.
We all went like skating together.
And she was like almost an Olympian figure skater.
And she made me feel like I was the greatest fucking skater
because, you know, I was leadingher, you know, I was back and

(33:15):
she was backwards and or forwards and and turning and
like, but she made me feel like I would like knew what I was
doing and leading. But it was exactly what you were
saying. Yes, and a New Girl will do the
opposite. She's going to be so scared.
She's going to try to move you and control you because she's
like, what are we doing? What are we doing?
What are we doing? When you know how to take her
out of her head, That's a good lead.

(33:37):
So I was saying before, there's mental spaces that men will go
through and the first and the first space that every man will
go through is you're either going to be too weak of a read
where you're going to be. Oh my God, I feel like a pussy
out here. If you have a lot of LA clients,
I will tell you that's generallygoing to be the vibe they get.
Sorry California, but a lot of pussy pussified men come out of

(33:59):
California. They're all friends with Gavin
Newsom. Yeah, exactly.
If you know, clients say more inlike Oklahoma and Texas, often
it's going to be the opposite experience where they're going
to be too forceful, right. So if you have someone who's
more like, like redneck mentality and they're used to
like, oh, I got my guns and I'm going to chop wood and all that,
the way that gets expressed on the dance floor is like, well,

(34:20):
I'm just going to show a girl how it's done and all that.
They're going to be way too forceful on the dance floor
where the girl is going to actually feel like she's being
jerked around and it might be fun at 1st until it feels
dangerous. So for me, I was on the
opposite. I I was definitely more than
like, I'm feel like a little pussy bitch out here.
And I remember my my second private lesson I ever had and

(34:43):
the woman I was training with. She's like AI think A2 time
world champion. And she's like, you know, as
professional as it gets in the country scene.
Our second lesson. I have the arrogance to say to
her that she was doing a move wrong and she kept doing it
wrong and, and she's like, all right, well, she goes, well,
let's try it again. And I like let her into the move

(35:04):
again and she does the move wrong.
And after like 3 or 4 times of me telling her that I did the
move wrong, she looks at me and she goes, let me ask you
something. She goes, do you really think I
don't know how to do this? I'm like, Oh yeah, you probably
know how to do this. And she goes, have you thought
that maybe you're just leading me this way?
So like you're making me do the move on.

(35:25):
And I go, oh, she goes, you are 100% responsible for the dance
as as the lead. So she goes, can I be
politically incorrect with you for a second?
And I go, sure. She goes, she looks, she like
grabs my hand and like, looks right in the mind.
She goes, I want you to control me.
And I was like, fuck, I was like, that's I was like, that's

(35:45):
hot. Because she said she's pretty
hot too. So she knew she knew exactly
what she was doing, right. And again, she's an amazing
follower. She knows how to man feel it.
She knows how to make a man feellike a man.
So in that moment, I was like, all right, I got you, you know,
and I did something that I thought was way too forceful to
the point I felt a little insecure about it.

(36:06):
And I go, oh, I'm sorry, that was probably too much.
She goes, no, that was perfect. So what I thought was too much
because I'm so used to like the East Coast and like, you know,
everyone's a misogynist and you know, like you're and I'm like,
Oh no, she wanted to feel that level of what I thought was
forceful wasn't force. So it changed my mindset of

(36:30):
what's too strong. And over time, you start to
calibrate and feel what's too, too hard.
And every girl's a little bit different, so.
And you would never get that without private lessons.
Like no one's going to tell you.That no 100% no, never, no.
So I've started to get like, what does it mean to have a good
frame? And so this is another thing is

(36:52):
one other mistake I used to do was I would essentially like if
a girl was sort of new and she was kind of freaking out, I
would try to adjust myself to make her feel more comfortable
again. You're going to see a lot of
parallels in the dance floor is probably in in life.
So one of the things as when youlearn to get better at dancing

(37:12):
and it's this is really hard. It's like you can intellectually
notice but the muscle memory might take a while is not to
break your frame ever. Even if a girl is stumbling
drunk, you still give her a strong frame.
Just like real life relationships.
Exactly right. So if she is stumbling, let's
say like I put my hand up or something and I want her to walk

(37:33):
under and her response is like, Oh my God, what's happening?
What's happening? I'm still going to keep my hand
up and just kind of like watch her.
Maybe I'll go like this to kind of like signal or I'll be like,
hey, just just like feel pretty move under my arm, whatever I
need to do to have her feel comfortable.
But I'm not going to be like, oh, I'm sorry, here I'll go like
that, you know? So by holding the frame it

(37:54):
allows her to move into it versus me feeding into her
stumbling around drunk and then she will feel so much safer on
that floor with me. Oh yeah, yeah, if she feels like
she's in control and you're justtrying to take care of her,
right, Like she's going to lose all attraction for.
It completely, yes. So when I said to you earlier
that the first time my brother ever came to visit me in Texas,

(38:17):
when he got addicted to this thing, there was a very pivotal
moment for him. It came where he, you know, he'd
watch me dance and be like, OK, that looks cool.
Then he goes, fine, I'll take some lessons.
He does a lesson every day for the entire time he was in Texas.
There was some days he did 2 lessons in a day, did two
different private lessons and then some group lessons at bars.
Then he goes, OK, I'm, I'm readyto do it.
I'm ready to go. Like, I take him to like some

(38:39):
little country bar, which was very like, you know, not very
judgmental there. And he dances with this girl.
I actually didn't see him do it,but I saw him afterwards.
And I go, I go, how was it? And he goes, oh, dude, it was
terrible. And I go, really, what happened?
He goes, man, she was such a baddancer, and she was just trying
to control me the entire time. And I was fighting with her.

(38:59):
And I go, oh, who was it? And he points, goes, that girl
over there. And I go, dude, I know, I know
who that is. She's not a bad dancer.
I said, stay right there. And I called the girl over and I
said, come here for a second. She comes over.
I said, you want to dance? She goes, yeah, sure.
Now she doesn't know that that'smy brother.
She doesn't even know that he's watching.
But I made sure to have him watch and she dances with me.

(39:22):
We do our dance. I said thank you for the dance,
you know, have a good night. She walks away, I go, what did
you just notice there? And he goes, that looked like a
different person. And I go, how so?
Well, she looked very feminine and soft and she was smiling and
giggling and she wasn't fightingyou at all.
I go because I wouldn't want hernow.

(39:42):
This was like she's like a spicyLatina girl if she senses and
it's not intentionally nefarious, but so I think that's
a very subconscious thing. If she feels any bit of weakness
in your lead, she'll just take over.
That's like just in her in her Latina nature to to do so.
So she didn't with me because the the the with the frame that
I brought to her was so strong that she could just relax and

(40:06):
and feel free and move her hips and do her little.
You know, spicy thing. That's, that's the perfect
metaphor for a real relationshipbetween a man and woman, right?
And. Just you'll start to see it
translates. So the better you become as a
lead, the more comfortable you'll be at a bar out dancing.
I'll give you I'll tell you something even crazier
yesterday. This literally just happened

(40:27):
yesterday. I'm at a cold plunge sauna place
in in downtown Austin, right. And there's these two girls that
they're working the front desk and super nice.
They're like super sweet. They're like, oh, like what are
you doing after this? I'm like, well, tonight I'm I'm,
I'm going dancing at this place.I'm like, you girls have her
been. They're like, no, no, like where
where's that? Are you even from here?
And she's like, Oh, yeah, we've been here for a while, but like,

(40:49):
we've just never, I'm dancing. It looks a little like,
intimidating. And I go, oh, you girls would
love it. And then one of the girls goes,
oh, yeah, but like, I'm such a cluster on the dance floor.
I would stumble around. I goes, well, it sounds like
someone who's never done a lesson before.
And she goes, oh, what do you mean?
And I go, I go, can I show you something?
Do you want to blow your mind right now?
And she goes, okay, I go stand up.
She stands up. Yeah, there was there wasn't

(41:11):
anyone inside, so I wasn't taking away from work.
And I do this right in front of her, her, her hot friend.
I mean, they're both pretty hot.I go, I go come over here and I
go, I go put up your hand. She goes, OK.
And I said, no, I'm going to take your hand like this.
And all I want you to do is counterbalance me.
So just kind of when I push against you, kind of give me
tension back. So it feels like a push.

(41:32):
She does it and I go, now I'm going to pull away from you.
I want you to feel like a stretch connection and took took
her a few seconds to do it. And then once she was in that
connection, I give her an outside turn.
She spins perfectly. I said, what did you just feel
right now? She goes, oh, that was cool.
I said, oh, you think that was cool?
Watch some watch this that I'd give her an open position, which
instead of like closed, it's like open like, you know, we're

(41:55):
not close to each other. And I said, now give me like a
stretch connection like with your hands like this, you know,
and then I use my body. So one, one thing with leading
is you're actually leading with your body, not your arms.
So you're not doing. Just like golf, swimming with
your body, not your arms. Interesting.
Yeah. So yeah, I guess there's some

(42:16):
golf metaphors too. I I, I actually lead her in a
way to move her body in the way I want to by going like this.
I can move her body like this and what ends up happening is
that her right arm and her rightleg move forward at the same
time, which is not how people walk.
Yeah, that's right. And when you you walk the

(42:38):
opposite right. But if I was to hold you like
this and you were stretching away and I moved you like this,
Your the your arm and same same side leg would move at the same
time. I go, you see how you just moved
your leg like that? You you'll never walk like that.
She goes you're right. I go, yeah, I made you move your
leg like that. She goes holy shit.
And, and, and, and I go, how do you feel right now?

(43:00):
She goes, I feel so good, Like I, I feel like, you know, she
just got giggly and girly. She's like, she's like, we got
to go dancing with him sometime.And I go, I go, here's my
Instagram, you know, just just shoot me, you know, shoot me a
follow. And of course you can look on my
Instagram and you can see all these cool dancing videos.
What's them to that makes it even more appealing that I'm,
you know, I know what the fuck I'm talking about now, I did not

(43:21):
go into that situation to hook up with them.
I'm like, okay, there are two fun, cute girls that would be
really fun to hang out with, take out dancing.
And if I had to give a probability of the like chance I
will hook up with them, I'd say like 40 percent, 30%.
They come out dancing. It's going to be higher than
that, that's for sure. And you play the long.
If they come out and you play the long game, it's gonna get

(43:42):
close to 100%. It's just gonna depend on well.
With them I maybe, maybe not like maybe I mean another guy in
the hook up with him like. No, I'm saying over the long
term, right. Oh.
Yes, if you add them to your social circle and you become
actually friends with them, eventually you will.
I would say they'll be like 90%.I hook up with one of them.
They're part of my social circle.
I'll become friends with them. You know, I don't know if I'll

(44:03):
become friends with them, but that's the thing that's like, I
don't have to care because there's so many women and women
want to like girls wanna feel like girls.
They want to feel little and they want to feel small and they
want to feel like they don't have to think about shit.
And the dance floor is a really easy psychological way to feel
that. Like what she felt in that 2

(44:24):
minute moment with me was this dose of masculine energy that I
brought to her and she had to feel feminine.
But we didn't make out. We weren't fucking.
Like it was such a low psychological investment.
There's no shame to dance with someone.
In fact, it's kind of cool, right?
Where if I had said, hey, come to a bar with me sometime, I'd
love to take you for a drink. And then only there could you
feel a little bit of my masculinity.

(44:45):
She'll probably send a note. She's like, oh, I'm working, you
know, it's not appropriate, you know, whatever it is.
Well, you're creating all this friction and and pressure
because now you're asking her ona date and now she's got to be
like, oh, well, what if he wantsme and I don't like him?
Like dancing. It's just we're just going
dancing. We're literally going dancing
and we're enjoying a dance. And bring your friend.
No pressure, yeah. Then you're out.

(45:06):
You're out with me for for threeminutes.
So one thing about dance etiquette is you never ask the
same girl to dance more than once in a row, even if it's even
unless you really know her. And it's like you're having
great dances. So even someone like her, if I
ask her to dance, I'm not going to dance with her five songs in
a row. I love that because because she
might feel like, oh, now I'm trapped with this guy.

(45:29):
Now, if she's like, hey, would you mind dancing with me a few
songs? So I don't know anybody.
Sure, that's different. And then I might say, hey, you
should dance with my buddy over here.
He's just learning, you know, orwhatever.
But you're not going to you always dance with just one girl,
you know, ask him on a dance. If they say no, you walk away.
No problem. If they say yes, you bring them

(45:49):
out. You dance one song.
Thank you for the dance. Maybe you talk a little bit
after and then you dance with someone else.
And then if it was a really, if it was really fun or you really
like them, maybe in like 20 minutes, thirty minutes, you go
back and say, hey, you want to do another one?
Yeah, it'd be great. And then if it's still really
good, you know, sometimes I might be like, hey, you want to
grab a drink at the bar or like,how long you been dancing

(46:09):
before? And, you know, we sit down.
So like, that happened to me. I mean, that happens quite
often, but you know, on Friday, for example, I went down to
Buda, TX, which is South Austin and I came, I came kind of late.
It was like 11:00 actually just gone on, on a date.
And I, I, after my date, I, I went down to Buda just so I'll
get some, I'll do some dancing and whatever.

(46:31):
And it was I guess 11:30 at night when I got there,
instantly some girl asked me to dance and I, and I've seen her
in other places before. I go sure we have we have a good
dance and it was like really crowded that I asked college and
I had something. Usually the night they like to
go to that place, but that's kind of what was open.
So I might just, like, sit in the corner chilling, just

(46:51):
relaxing and having a drink. And then I go back over to the
dance floor. I see her going to go.
You want to do another one? She goes, yeah, sure.
And then we start talking and I show her this move.
I was like, hey, you want me to show you this polka move?
That's really cool because you really want to do a polka song
with me because I'm one of the few men that know how to dance
polka. Also polka.
There's a difference between country polka and like,

(47:12):
Czechoslovakia polka. By the way, one thing that I
love about the country scene is they take really nerdy dancers
and they make them sexy. Like country, polka is very hot
when it's done right. Yeah.
Isn't polka originally like Ukrainian or is it Czech?
I know it's Eastern Europe. OK, it's Czech.
Yeah. Yeah.
And it looks a little silly and they have like the little kilt.
It's like that's like a kilt like thing a little.

(47:34):
They're spinning around with like the.
Makes me think of Home Alone when the mom meets John Candy.
Oh yeah, yeah. We're a coca band, you know?
Yeah, exactly. I think poker is a dance like
Eastern European Poker to me is like learning to play like the
accordion. It's really hard and it's not
going to get you late except. For this time or maybe?

(47:59):
What line dancing is the same thing.
Like I tell men who are in the country scene, I was like, if
you want to learn a line dance, like that's fine, but #1 to get
good, it's not easy and #2 like you look gay doing it like it's
not going to get you laid. So unless you really love it.
Now, my personal view is men should not be allowed to line
dance. Like actually I I say that to
girls with a girl be like, do you line dance?

(48:21):
I'm like, fuck no. I don't even think men should be
allowed to line. Dance.
That's a great stance. Wait but what happened with this
girl? So you should have polka move.
Yes, yeah, shorter program move.And then we like start talking
and then I was like it's kind ofloud, you want to go outside and
then we go outside and she's like cuddle up right next to me
and we just chat until the placeclosed down.
And then she gave me her number.I walked her through her car.

(48:43):
I'm in if I want that, right? It's and that's a common
experience to, to have that, butyou can't force it.
It's kind of like one of those things where if you meet 3040
girls in a night or you meet 100girls over the course of a
couple weeks, there's going to be a few girls you meet where
the chemistry is so insane and so strong and they're so
beautiful. You can't help but want to do

(49:04):
that. Especially if you're good.
So if if you're a guy listening,where would you like?
What would you Google? Where would you go?
Depending on where you live, What's the next step If if?
Yeah. So the next step would be they.
Better be sold on at least trying at this point.
Like if a guy's listening to this and he's like, no, I'm not
going to do that. Like, come on.
Give it a shout. But I'll tell you, look a lot.

(49:25):
The reason I think that there's so much, you know, I come from a
finance background. So it's like the reason there's
so much like alpha, like you know, in this is that you're
you're dealing with, you don't have a lot of competition,
right? There's going to be a lot of
guys listening to this and they're going to go a lot of
things for me. And it's like, great, like
you're the reason you're the reason this works.

(49:47):
If if every guy went out dancingto do this, girls would have the
same experience as hey, kind of buy you a drink when you're at
the bar, right? Every girl knows if you want to
buy them a drink, you're not, you're not doing because you're
like a charitable guy. You're doing because you want to
get laid, right? So that's that's always in the
background. If you ask a girl to buy a drink
and she's always going to have her defenses up a little bit
more after that because she knows you have a motive with

(50:11):
dancing, I dance. I dance with 80 year old women
sometimes that I have a blast with.
I'm not trying to bang an 80, an80 year old woman, you know.
So I like, I'll dance with anyone.
Literally I'll dance with anyone.
So yes, if if you are one of those guys that's like, oh, this
sounds like it could be cool. I have two left feet, but like,
maybe this could work. What I would say is depending on
the city you are, I would first see if you have any country

(50:33):
dancing. And some of these places may not
specify whether it's line dancing or partner dancing or
you might see like, oh, line dancing lessons every Wednesday
night. Most cities line dancing is
going to be very popular. Texas is a little bit different
like that. But if you go to most of the
major cities, line dancing is a big thing.
I would say steer away from linedancing.

(50:54):
Spend 0 energy on line dancing. And I would pick if you had a
pic between a small country bar or a place with like a larger
dance floor where you can move in a circle, you'd want to pick,
you'd want to pick the larger dance floor where you can learn
where you can do more things. OK, if you don't know if they
have partner dancing, I would call the place and say, you
know, do you guys have things like 2 step?

(51:15):
Is it? Is there a partner dancing?
Do people partner dance? And if they say yes, the next
question I would ask is, is it appropriate for me?
Like come by myself and ask girls there to dance.
And most of the places, the answer will be yes.
The reason I say is you don't want to you don't want to walk
an old place that's like all like, you know, looks like a
senior citizens home and they'rejust going with like their

(51:35):
husbands or wives. Like that's not the vibe you
want to go. And then some of these more
rural towns, you will get placeslike that, which I'll still go
to just for the nostalgia of it.But that's not you're not going
to get laid or most likely not at a place, nor would you
probably want to at a place likethat either.
Now, if they don't, if you don'thave a country scene, so like if

(51:56):
you are to say in New York City,for example, you either can go
the Latin route or you can go the West Coast swing route.
I would not do East Coast swing.So the difference between West
Coast and East Coast. East Coast swing is like it's
very fun, but that's like what our great grandparents were
doing. That's like the big band Lindy
Hob doing swing outs. It's very playful.

(52:18):
It's very goofy, but I wouldn't call it sexy.
It's kind of like where you, youknow, like the men wear like the
overall suspenders and or the bow tie and they're kicking out
their legs and stuff. You don't, you know the vibe I'm
talking about That's. The kind of shit that I learned
in cotillion, I think. I'd say probably that would that
would be when most people talk about like traditional swing

(52:39):
dancing. They're talking about East Coast
swing and there's that's Lindy hop, jitterbug Charleston.
Like I don't personally think that's sexy personally.
Now West. West Coast like you mentioned.
That's front of Goofy, Yeah. West Coast swing is one of the
hottest things you can learn. West Coast swing, which there's

(52:59):
a community in New York you can you can do.
Most cities are going to have some kind of West Coast swing.
It's also a hard dance to learn,which is why I'm saying if you
have country, do the country stuff first, do West Coast after
it will make you a better dancerwith everything.
But West Coast is one of those dances where and it'll also take
you a few months before you can feel comfortable social dancing

(53:20):
it. But West Coast came out of I was
the nerd on the history of this is it comes.
It actually came out of East Coast swing.
So what happened was during I think the 70s, every, you know,
in California, you know, swing dancing was a huge thing.
LA, San Francisco, and there would be these dance halls where

(53:40):
people can go out swing dancing.The problem is it got so popular
that people didn't have enough room.
Because if you might remember, it takes a lot.
It's very energetic, feels like you're just done a whole workout
after one song and you're swinging around and it's takes
up a lot of room. So if you had a crowded place,
you'd be hitting people. It'd be actually dangerous.
Yeah, I've seen your videos. You're you know you're gonna get

(54:02):
kicked in the head when you're swinging a girl around you.
Know for for sure. So West Coast is it's still
swing dancing, but every movement has a purpose and
you're not wasting energy. So it's a lot smoother looking.
It's done on what's called the slot where it's like a it's a,
it's a straight line and then the guy goes around the line.

(54:23):
The girl just stays on her slot.It doesn't take up a lot of room
and it looks and it looks amazing because everything
you're doing is intentional. We're East Coast.
You feel like you just had a workout.
West Coast, you dance all night and not not be sweating.
So what if you're in a place where that doesn't have any sort
of country, like let's say you're in South America or

(54:43):
Eastern Europe. You were mentioning to me if
they have salsa, there's probably bachata, and bachata is
going to be better. If you're in New York, you're
going to have salsa more than bachata.
If all else is equal, I would certainly do bachata over salsa
because it's it's a little bit more intimate, a little bit
closer, it's a little bit more sensual.

(55:03):
Not saying salsa can't be sensual, but it's also a lot
easier to learn. Like you can learn bachata in a
month you're not going to learn to be decent salsa about.
Ten a month. Tango's its own thing.
So tango is very much its own thing.
So you could be really good at West Coast, really good at a
country and you learn tango and you're, you're starting from
scratch. Like there's, there's, there's
no seems kind of. Different You see it in the

(55:25):
movies, right? It's always like the James Bond
movie and it's like. Yeah, I think by personally, I
think tango is a beautiful dance.
It it actually tells a story, like you're actually creating a
narrative with a woman. It's actually mostly in the
legs, the work that there's not much going on the upper body.
I, I would not learn that dance.And then unless you were like in

(55:47):
Argentina and like, that's the thing, I would not be learning
tango. Forget.
About it different. For I forgot I forget tango, I'd
say that the main dances would be if like #1 tier would be
learn 2 step or country swing. Most most major cities outside
of New York are going to have two step or country swing.

(56:09):
Arizona for example is very big on country swing.
Like they're probably the best country swing community in the
country will. Be easy to find in the West
southwest of course, that's for sure.
For for sure, New Mexico, I you know, I even Idaho, but
California has a big what would you?
Tell guys to do in. Europe, Europe, man, I don't, I
don't know. I, I, I'm, I'm less in the know

(56:32):
with that. I mean, I, I follow Instagram
videos. I know they have a big WI know
West Coast swing is everywhere now.
Like there's a lot of West Coastin Europe.
I assume there's a lot of dancing in Europe.
There's another kind of dance that I don't know how to do, but
it's worth learning. If there's a big community in
it. It's called Zook.
It actually comes from Africa originally, but it's a, it's

(56:54):
considered a Brazilian dance now.
And Zook is sort of like, if youlook up like sensual bachata, it
is central bachata on steroids. Women I know who dance it will
say they've never felt more likethe connection is in a different
level with with Zook and the woman do this thing when they
spin, they do this thing on their head where they spin like
this, like with their full body,with their neck.

(57:16):
It's it's very beautiful and it's something I want to learn
in. Yeah, seems very niche, but I'm
sure you go down the rabbit holeand you know.
There's, there's actually some somewhat of a large community in
Texas that that does it. It's because it's become a
bigger thing the last the last few years.
Well, yeah. Anything else that you feel like
guys must know before they kind of dip their toe into this?

(57:37):
Yeah, if you want to, there's a there's a big, there's a lot of.
So there are a lot of conventions and workshops around
the country and you can make vacations out of it.
This is another, I'd say, kind of life hack thing.
There's a thing called the Yes dance convention, which is very,
very fun. And the very first year when I

(57:58):
asked someone about it, it was, I was talking to a girl about
it. And I go, is it, is this worth
going to? And she goes, well, yeah, she
goes, it's so much fun. I go, well, what happens?
And she goes, well, she goes basically the during the day
there's like workshops and instructions.
It's all, it's all the best instructors in the world.
And they're going to do mostly country stuff, some West Coast

(58:19):
stuff. West Coast has become under the
country scene too. It's like they've started to
intermingle. And then she goes and then in
the evening you have social dancing and then after social
dancing, everyone fucks. And she just straight upset it
to me like that, like that sounds amazing.
And people get hornier when people get hornier when they're
on vacation and all isolated hotels together.
So there's a lot of fucking thatgoes on during, you know, during

(58:41):
that time. Well, I always tell guys like,
you know every guy goes to Coachella, right?
They might go to week one, they might go to weekend 2.
But after Coachella is Stagecoach and it's all chicks
and it's just a big country music festival, so.
Yeah, there you go. It's all girls.
So. And then if you're so, and then
if you're at a country music festival, a lot of those girls

(59:04):
are going to know how to do country swing.
You're not going to really do like a progressive 2 step, but
you can do country swing at the music festival.
I was at a Morgan Wallin concerta couple years ago and I brought
a girl and I was dancing with her at the Morgan Wallin
concert. You know, that was, it was kind
of fun. Well.
Guys are so like like opinionated about country they

(59:26):
either love it or they hate it and it's all girls like I know
it's all chicks it's insane and like every guy's like fuck
country I hate country but look great more for me.
That's literally my view. I mean, I did not listen to
country music before moving to Texas.
I do now. And I, I, I tell people it's
like, I think because I connect to the music in a way, like

(59:49):
being out here, but also becauseI dance, it's like I have
positive associations to different songs.
You actually get to a point where you listen to music and
you start hearing like steps andmoves.
Like I just start doing moves inmy head in the car listening to
a a country song. But I think that's kind of
similar to people who like go toraves and are like into EDM.

(01:00:10):
They'll start listening to more techno because there's certain
positive associations to it. Or to me, it's like, I'm not
going to put techno on in my car.
Oh. I will cause I've.
And there you go. Yeah, but there you go.
That's my. Point I found with music, it's
like you can listen to the one song, you might not like it, but
you listen to that same song 10 times, you're gonna, you might
like it. There's a good chance you'll
you'll actually love it. So yeah.

(01:00:31):
For sure, for sure. Well dude, this has been
amazing. So much valuable, you know,
insights here. Anything else?
Oh, I would actually, I do want to say one more thing that that
I think is important. I would say that if you were
going to a dance hall. So how about this?
Going dancing is fun because it allows you to fuck a lot more,

(01:00:53):
right? And and I'd say country girls
are the wildest. Like they, those are the ones
that are going to do wild shit with you.
However, if you are a guy who's there just to get laid, you're
going to come off as like, I don't know, I know there's one
guy I know he he he's definitelythere to get laid, but he's also
like an amazing dancer. Like he's he whenever he judges

(01:01:14):
most of the competitions becausehe.
So he can kind of get away with it because he's so good.
He also loves dancing and he also loves dancing like he does
competitions, like he still doesprivate instruction.
Now I'd say he probably enjoys it because it helps him get
laid, you know, and I and I see him take back girls with him all
the time, sometimes even 2 at the same time.

(01:01:35):
And he's a good looking dude. But I mean, I showed you a
picture of him actually once andlike he's average looking, maybe
above average looking, but like the guy who fucking like nerdy
biologist. And if he was like the whole
joke was if this guy was not a dancer like he'd been, he'd be
nothing special, you know? You know, but like a guy like
you, like you're a pretty good looking dude, You're in good
shape, you have good social skills.

(01:01:56):
Like you would be the kind of guy where if you were at say
like 3 years into it, you'd be you'd be pouring almost every
night with sort of where you're at Well.
Thanks, man, gives me gives me hope if I ever need to get back
in the dating market. But she likes to dance and it
would be fun to go and learn with her Like we've, we've been

(01:02:17):
to, you know, we've done salsa together and we've done other
stuff and she's great. It'll bring guys, it'll bring
guys closer too. It'll, it'll add a, it'll add a
dynamic to your relationship. Like I always encourage people
who are married, you guys learn,should learn as a couple to
learn social dance. Not like choreographed bullshit,
but like real, like real fun social dancing.
Not in a ballroom setting. Oh man, it'll it'll, it'll add

(01:02:40):
so much to your relationship. In fact, it adds so much to your
relationship that most men I know, and I'd say 100% if not
99% of women I know who are dancers, if their partner
refuses to learn, it would actually be grounds for for
breaking up. Yeah, that.
I mean, that would be, that would be a slap in the face.

(01:03:01):
It's like, come on, you don't want to at least try.
Well, to, to I'll tell you, for me, it would be like a girl
telling me, yeah, I mean, everything's great, but I'm just
not going to have sex with you. Like it would be this whole
energy dynamic that you just nowdon't get to exchange with with
your partner. So yeah, I I was saying before
though is. Yeah, if you, if you go in,

(01:03:23):
you're you're mentioning, you know, if you're going in just
thinking about hooking up or getting laid, women are
obviously going to feel that, right?
And yes, that that would that would kind of ruin the whole
thing. But if you are really kind of
just doing it because you do want to get dates, nothing.
How? How do you walk that line?
Well, so I don't feel like you need to because The thing is, is

(01:03:43):
that this shit, I, I, I would assert it's not going to be
100%, but I assert for most of your clients, if they stick with
it, they have private lessons, especially the country scene
where it's so easy to break intowithin two months, they're going
to be addictive. And when you are having that
much fun doing something just from the social setting, the

(01:04:03):
culture, everything, the woman will come.
It's like, you could like, I'd still go in and I'm like, you
know what? I'm like, I have this, I have
this hoodie. This is like daddy on it.
And like, there was one night I was just like, man, I just want
to fucking get late. And I like, I was just kind of
like in that headspace. So I, I had like my hoodie daddy
on. It was like, I had my backwards
cap. Like I just looked like a total
fuck boy. I go out and you know, the

(01:04:26):
bartender that night, she's like, she's like, oh, Eric, you,
you kind of look, you kind of look like I slept tonight.
And I'm like, oh, I have every night.
But it's like what I'm saying. But tonight I'm feeling extra
slutty. And I was just, that was the
vibe. I was him.
But I'm still going to be dancing.
But maybe the way I'm dancing that night, I'm going to be like
a little flirtier. Like I remember there was this
one girl that night. I was I was with a buddy of mine

(01:04:49):
and I was really into this girl and like the first, the first
dance we had like it was really fun.
I could tell she was enemy. The second dance we had I
literally grab her by the throatand I do and I drop her by the
neck and you could just like seeher soaking herself just just
from that. So but I was but I was fucking
horny that night. It was like I just wanted to
fuck that night and I got her number.

(01:05:10):
I fucked her the next week. I don't fucked him the next
week, but like that was the vibethat I was in.
So it's like don't, don't dishonor that part of yourself.
Like, yeah, if you're doing it to get laid, do it to get laid.
Like what people say, why do youdance?
I tell people I don't do it for the buckles, which, you know,
buckles are things you win if you win competitions.
Like that's very, that's very secondary for the pussy.

(01:05:32):
Gotcha. Yeah, man.
Well, it it seems like a very direct route that also has all
the other benefits of you get ingreat shape, you build your
social circle, you meet cool people.
You're not, you know, just sharking around on the dating
apps or or at bars or clubs. So yeah, I hope people listen to
this and give it a try. And if anyone has questions, I

(01:05:52):
know you're, you know, obviouslyanonymous on here, but can I and
and. And also I want to say why I'm
anonymous. It's that I really value, like,
our dance community and it's actually important that, like
women, it might sound hypocritical.
It's like, yeah, I love getting laid, but I still care about

(01:06:13):
people feeling safe and comfortable on the dance floor.
And you know, especially with how our society and, and
everything, like you might hear a clip of this and be like, oh,
this, this dude, he's now gonna just try to fuck me.
And I don't want, I don't want women to have an experience of,
oh, he doesn't really care aboutdancing me.
He's dancing me in order to get in my pants.
And that's actually not the case.

(01:06:33):
That's not that's not the case. It's so easy to misconstrue
things when you just see a, a small clip of it, of course, and
anytime, correct. Yeah.
And anytime we're talking about,you know, dating tactics or
strategies, it's, it's easy to, you know, for people to kind of
turn their nose up at that. But you know, it's tough out
there. Guys, guys need the guys.
Guys need this sort of stuff because otherwise they're, like

(01:06:55):
I said, they're swiping endlessly on the apps.
They're doing other things that don't work.
So it's in that it's the women are going to benefit in the long
run by meeting these guys who are great guys.
And it feels good. I'll tell you as a man, I, I
think that every man wants to take care of women, right?
And if there's something very primal, when you can see a girl

(01:07:17):
who's like, you know, either already in her element or maybe
she's not in her element, she's new, she's in her head, she's a
little nervous. And you are the catalyst to her
feeling amazing that night. That just is a man.
It honors something as a man. Yeah, you put her into her
feminine, which she probably doesn't get to experience all
that much in our very sort of post feminist masculine culture.

(01:07:41):
So exactly. Well, awesome brother.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and well, I'll send
any questions I get your way. I'm happy to answer questions,
just err on the side of anonymity when I can.
OK, cool. Later.
See ya later. Out of all the guys I know, the

(01:08:04):
only ones who managed to consistently win the game are
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You can certainly approach womenand try your luck on the apps if
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(01:08:25):
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