March 24, 2025 • 21 mins
Links:
Apply for The Community & Book a Call with Robbie: https://calendly.com/robbiekramer/strategy-call
New Brew: https://www.drinknewbrew.com/
Intro:
We begin with the "Hoping Stage," where many guys find themselves stuck, relying solely on dating apps and chance meetups. Robbie explains how most men falter here, putting potential partners on pedestals and succumbing to neediness. But the good news is that awareness is the first step toward change.
Next, we transition into the "Hunting Stage." This phase is about taking dating seriously – from optimizing profiles to getting out there and facing rejection. It's where you learn to build confidence through real-life interactions. Robbie also offers insights into how to maintain your independence and avoid falling into the trap of monogamous relationships too soon.
Finally, we explore the "Farming Stage," which shifts the dynamic from chasing to being chased. By establishing yourself as a leader within your social circle, you create an environment where potential partners naturally gravitate toward you, setting the stage for meaningful and lasting connections.
Timestamps:
00:00 Navigating Dating Pitfalls
05:51 Dating: Embrace Rejection, Use Wingmen
07:51 "Mastering Relationship Dynamics"
09:50 Mastering Relationship Dynamics
14:16 "Effective Strategy for Attracting Women"
17:43 Online Dating and Networking Tips
20:25 "Accountability Group: Guiding Your Journey"
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Do you follow the pattern of horrible dry spell followed by
monogamous relationship followedby devastating breakup followed
by rinse and repeat? Well, if that's you, you want to
tune into this episode, I'm going to show you how to stop
settling and create an abundant dating life after a brutal
breakup with plenty of high quality options to choose the
best partner from. Instead of doing what most guys
do, which is settling for whoever comes along next to cure
(00:21):
their loneliness, you're listening to the Inner
Confidence podcast. My name is Robbie Kramer, I've
been a coach since 2007 and I'vehelped countless men rapidly
achieve all of their social and dating goals.
My mission is simple, to help you position yourself to meet
stunning women, make awesome friends in route to becoming the
most confident and attractive version you can possibly be.
(00:41):
I am obsessed with giving you the most leveraged ways possible
to win the game. So stick around, let's go.
Let's go over the three stages of the dating game for men.
The first stage is what I call hoping.
Basically, you're just sitting on the apps, hoping to meet
someone through, you know, an app or your social circle.
And when you finally meet someone exciting, you screw it
up because you put them on a pedestal.
(01:02):
You get too needy, and usually you screw up the texting.
The good news is, if you're listening to this, you've
already taken the steps to move out of this stage most likely,
and you're likely in stage two or three by now, which I'll
explain in a bit. Most guys in stage 1 take girls
on typical dinner dates with an awkward kiss attempt after
dessert, which leads to I wasn'tfeeling the chemistry rejection
(01:24):
text later. They put almost no thought into
texting strategy and just do what feels right.
They engage in normally conversations with their
buddies. You shouldn't have to play
games, and you should find a woman who is right for you and
not interested in playing those silly games.
And this is standard cognitive dissonance, of course.
And when a date goes poorly? They asked the woman for
feedback, thinking she might be able to somehow provide some
(01:44):
helpful tips for next time and secretly hoping they can get her
to change her mind. They don't understand that doing
this just buries them further and slams the door completely
shut on any possible future thatthey might have had if they were
able to wait and create that opportunity in stage two or
three. They buy expensive subscriptions
to all the dating apps, they payfor escorts on sites like
(02:05):
Seeking Arrangements, and they hire expensive matchmakers who
fail due to the wrong incentive structures and formal stuffy
dates where nobody wins except the matchmakers wallet or the
girl that got paid by the matchmaker to go on the date.
These services prey on rich men who have become desperate enough
to throw money at the problem ina way that doesn't require self
reflection. Most guys never make it out of
(02:25):
the hoping stage and if they aresuccessful and good looking,
they typically settle for a Six.They were never really that
excited about that. Six understands that his frame
is weak and slowly but surely she will dominate him.
She'll make all decisions about where the relationship goes and
slowly but surely he will lose access to sex with her.
Because she will only desire sexfrom a man she respects and
adores, and due to his inabilityto put her in check and captain
(02:48):
the ship, she will lose all attraction to him.
This sort of relationship does not satisfy by the female
tendency towards hypergamy and she will always be looking for a
bigger, better deal once she realizes that he can't do any
better. Most men settle into a
relationship and allow themselves to get fat and coast
by, You know, 1 less thing to worry about.
Happy wife, happy life, right? Wrong.
(03:08):
It doesn't matter if she was suggesting all those Netflix and
ice cream nights and promising she'll love you forever.
If she feels your masculine edgeslipping away, so will her
desire. This isn't to say women are evil
or manipulative for any of this,it's just happening unconscious.
When you add time and comfort toa relationship, eventually she
will likely divorce you. Take all your money and you'll
(03:32):
just live a quiet life of desperation and take pride in
your kids, your work, or pay forsex on the side.
Men in this stage are also of the highest risk of suicide.
So the good news? Like I said, if you're listening
to this, you're now at least aware that you're in the hoping
stage or you've already moved out of it and you have the power
to create an entirely new narrative for your love and sex
life. So quick recap of the hoping
(03:53):
stage. You sit around waiting for a
spark. You rely on dating apps or
chance encounters in your socialcircle.
When you meet someone exciting, you over invest.
You get needy and lose control of the interaction.
You might spend big money on matchmakers and still end up
settling for someone who doesn'tinspire you.
This leads to unhappy relationships or worse, a life
of quite desperation. You keep hoping for a better
outcome, but nothing changes until you move on to the next
(04:15):
stage. That next stage is hunting.
Before I go into that, I want totell you about New Brew.
I'm about to go golfing with my wife and we're obsessed with
this stuff. It's got no alcohol in it.
It's a euphoric seltzer. This is the Berry flavor.
It's got kratom and cava root. So you feel kind of high I
guess, or a little bit sort of drunk.
You feel euphoric without the booze.
(04:37):
So I've been trying to cut out booze for a long time.
My wife doesn't drink and like she loves this stuff.
She drinks one on every the the 1st hole and the 10th tea.
I usually just do one around because it's pretty strong.
So if you want to grab some new brew you can use the link in my
description. This stuff is amazing.
I highly recommend it So back tohunting, which is stage 2.
(05:01):
In the hunting stage, you take game seriously, you optimize
online dating, but more importantly, you actually
approach women in real life. You face rejection, you go on
dates, you get laid, you get confidence.
This will get you sixes or sevens typically at best, which
isn't bad, right? A six or seven on on my rating
(05:21):
scale is quite high in the beginning.
You'll optimize your online dating profiles and you'll build
your Instagram because most women won't date a guy who has
no Instagram because there's a high likelihood he's
untrustworthy or a scammer. You don't need to be active on
Instagram, you just need a basicprofile with the 9 grid photos
to show you're not a serial killer.
You're not going to sit on the apps all day swiping either like
(05:43):
most guys in the hoping stage, but you're going to deploy a few
tested scripts to see if you canget as many dates as possible.
The quality isn't even that important.
You just need to go on a lot of dates to get what I call target
practice. The hunting stage requires wing
men because to consistently huntalone is terrible.
It's a horrible task with nonstop rejection.
I mean, Can you imagine going out to bars and social places
(06:05):
alone? People will think you're a total
loser unless you've done a lot of it and you're just
comfortable with it, which is kudos to you, which is not as
fun, right? Wouldn't you rather go with your
friends? Even hunting during the day is
going to be brutal because you're never going to number
close more than 30 to 40% of thewomen you approach.
And that's if you're really goodat it.
So way more often than not, you're going to get rejected.
(06:25):
And you can face that rejection for a few days, a few weeks.
But months and months of seriousrejection is not something a
human can really handle. So a wing man, even better,
multiple wing men is necessary. The trick to winning at the
hunting stage is staying out of a monogamous relationship,
because the longer you can stay in the stage, the better hunter
(06:46):
you will become, and the qualityof women will improve
drastically even over the courseof just a few months hunting.
In the beginning, you'll be lucky to bang a few fives, but
very soon, if you approach at least 25 women per week, you'll
start seeing results with sixes and sevens.
Maybe even you'll get lucky withthe occasional 8 if she's on the
rebound and you're kind of in the right place at the right
time. And due to the large amount of
(07:07):
leads, you'll be forced to learnto optimize your texting and
your approach to dates. You'll realize that the less you
chase, the more you chill, the better results you'll get.
The tricky thing about the hunting stage is that the desire
for sex and connection will be the motivator to do it, but you
really need to govern yourself and be very careful about how
much you actually indulge in that sex to keep it moving
(07:30):
forward. What I see from most guys in the
stage is they get forced into a monogamous relationship with the
first cute girl they really everdated.
This girl will be better than any woman they've had before and
they will text her more. She will of course reciprocate
with her communication. They will start to fall in love
and spend multiple days per weekhanging out.
She will pressure him to commit because why wouldn't she?
(07:51):
Why would she allow another woman to swoop in and steal her
man and all the wonderful benefits of having his provision
and protection? You won't have the backbone or
confidence to maintain a boundary of non exclusivity and
he'll be out of the game. The likely fate is that
eventually her stronger frame will dominate him and he might
even end up in the same fate as the guy described earlier in
that hoping stage one just because he learned to sort of
(08:14):
hunt well enough to, you know, bag her.
He doesn't. He hasn't yet adopted the
correct frame of abundance and asense of confidence he would
have reached if he made it through stage 2.
So the only way to successfully hunt is to say single.
Surround yourself with wing men who push you, build a rotation
of casual girls that you see no more than once per week, and
(08:35):
keep hunting until you've maxed out the quality you know you
will have maxed out. When you've built a rotation of
a handful and out five to 10, sixes and sevens.
They all want to be your girlfriend.
Your life will be much easier and drama free if you remember
that golden ratio of see them nomore than one time per week and
text them no more than three times per week.
(08:55):
And that's not individual texts of course.
That's like 3 conversations. Most guys simply don't have the
willpower or support system likethe one we've created in the IC
community to graduate as hunters, and they simply become
serial monogamous with their hunting skills, only to
eventually suffer the fate of stage 1 after getting soft and
reverting back to their traditional ways.
So let's do a quick recap of thehunting stage.
(09:16):
You decide to take dating seriously.
You improve your online dating profiles, you work on your
social skills, you approach women in person, you gather
leads and you gain experience through trial and error.
And you stay single longer so you can meet more women and
build real confidence. You learn how to text
effectively and you plan better dates.
Having wingman or supportive community helps you push through
rejection. Over time, you attract higher
(09:38):
quality women and you feel a surge in yourself esteem and
confidence. Now let's talk about the third
stage, and that is farming. Another way you could say this.
Some people refer to it as fame game.
You know, being famous. You don't have to be famous, of
course. And if you want to ensure you'll
be able to create truly rewarding relationships in which
you're in control, you're steering the ship, you're
wearing the pants, and have unrestricted access to sex, that
(10:02):
is what you need to graduate to.You can't skip stage 2 because
it's in those dealings with women and learning to pass their
tests in which you become the sort of battle tested animal
that has the confidence to pull off stage 3.
The guys who try to skip stage 2and simply throw money at the
problem by organizing trips withpromoters or hiring matchmakers
(10:22):
end up in the friend zone simplydue to a weak frame.
If you aren't able to seduce women who agreed to a date with
you, you have no chance turning a friend into a lover.
You use all the tools and option2 to grow your local circle, but
you don't seduce them through over chasing.
You wait for them to seduce you.Instagram is vital to this
because it bridges the gap between seeing them organically,
(10:45):
which allows you to hang out in the call it friend zone.
Except she didn't put you in it,so you're not really in the
friend zone. You're just a cool guy in her
life who hasn't shown interest, who's got hot girls around him
and this makes you different andmysterious.
Fame game or farming is simple. Brad Pitt can get any girl he
wants because all women understand he's desired by other
(11:05):
women. Women are very simple in what
they want. They want men that other women
want. If you aren't famous in the
world, you can become famous within the circle that you
create. This is also the most organic
approach preferred by both men and women alike.
Everyone would prefer to meet someone through their friends
because they're way more likely to already possess the same
values and social status. So to become famous in your own
(11:28):
social circle, all you need to do is be one of the leaders of
that circle. A lot of introverted guys
retreat at this idea of buildinga social circle because that
sounds like miserable hard work to them.
But let me ask you this, If you had five smoking hot girls
showing up to a small house party and they've all expressed
some sort of interest in you, and all you had to do is show up
(11:49):
and chill, would that be a horrible time?
You can't do farming alone because those five girls showing
up to a party with just you would be awkward.
So by design, you need a wingmanor two.
But it's within this framework that allows you to enjoy the
process. You're going to find a role
within that organization that you enjoy and that will be your
responsibility. Your wing men will take on the
(12:12):
other roles that you don't and you will work together like a
well oiled machine. Even if you're an entrepreneur
and you wear many hats, almost everything you don't want to do
can be outsourced and that freesup your time to do what you do
best within your social circle or organization.
To use the metaphor, you can build a social circle around the
hobbies and activities you like the most.
Sports, music, dancing, photography.
(12:34):
I've even seen social circles built around the that silly game
called Mafia. I've seen them built around
ultimate frisbee. Like super dorky things, but hot
girls are into that stuff too. By doing your part in organizing
hosting, you'll be creating value for anyone you bring in,
and that value will come back around in the form of sexual
opportunity and even money. To fill your social circle.
You'll use the same skills that you built to hunt, but it's even
(12:56):
easier when you're asking for something way less intrusive
than a date. It's much easier and way less
rejection filled to strike up a combo with someone and act to
and ask to exchange Instagrams if you find a connection point
rather than just asking them on a date like you would have
hunting. You're going to slowly massage
the relationship via Instagram by posting stories to stay top
(13:17):
of mind with anyone who follows you and the occasional message
to check in. You're going to follow their
stories too. This is what I call digital
flirting, but it's not one to one.
It's you to all of your leads, which is the highest form of
leverage you can possibly have. You're waiting until you've seen
the right amount of investment before inviting them to
something social you're attending.
(13:37):
When she shows up, she's going to realize that there are other
women competing for you in this environment and that will signal
pre selection and voila, you've just achieved fame game.
The goal is to befriend as many gorgeous women as possible and
to add them to your social funnel.
Once you have the women, you'll be flooded with guys who want a
piece of the action and you'll want to let any of them in to
(13:58):
help you share the workload. But be careful to weed out the
bad ones and only accept guys who are bringing a good amount
of equal value. Your hunting wing men are
obviously in the best position to grow into the next stage with
you, and seduction happens on a much longer timeline when the
girl wants it. Most men fall in love at first
sight. Women could take weeks or even
months to realize she really wants a guy.
(14:20):
And that's why this strategy is so effective.
Done correctly, you will position yourself to win with
every single girl who comes through your social funnel due
to your status and relative frame.
If you're short or you have other limiting physical factors
that disqualify you early with most women, this is really the
only thing that's going to create consistent results with
really high quality women for you overtime and exposure at
(14:42):
your events. She's going to understand the
competition is fierce and she'llbe forced to signal interest
first. This is super important because
it puts you in the position of the adored and gives you the
best chance for a successful relationship going forward.
She's always going to understandthat if she isn't on her best
behavior, you have a ton of viable and amazing options since
(15:02):
that's the environment in which she met you.
The same girl could be a tyrant with the guy she meets who is in
the hoping stage, and with a guyshe met through farming, she
might be a perfect, perfect wifey, right?
It's all about your frame at theend of the day.
A woman will act as a mirror to her man.
So whether you're looking to marry your dream girl or simply
(15:22):
have the most fun possible as a single man, farming is the
solution to both. And like I always say, why not
have the most amount of fun possible and route to that
happily ever after scenario. So quick recap of the farming
stage. You shift from chasing to
creating environment where womenpursue you.
You build a social circle aroundyour interests, invite new
people in, let chemistry developnaturally.
(15:45):
Instagram becomes your bridge between in person meets,
allowing you to stay on someone's radar without chasing
her. As women see your value and pre
selection, they start to make the first move.
This dynamic puts you in controland gives you a sustainable
drama free dating life. You're not just playing the
field, you're curating your own environment, so you always have
quality options. So those are the three stages of
the journey to navigating Sectional Marketplace.
(16:07):
Now I'm going to give you a walkthrough.
All right, now that I've explained the three stages, let
me explain how the IC community is going to help you move
through each of those stages. This is a community here on the
right, you see our member list. As you can see right now, we got
19 people online, including a few bots just to help us run the
(16:28):
Discord. And then we got 46 offline.
And then we've got the belt system and you see the names on
the right, they've got a color next to them.
That's the corresponding belt. So the goal is obviously to
become a black belt. That is a skill set that you'll
have forever. It can never be taken away from
you. Defends against marrying the
wrong girl. Most important part of the group
are the calls that we do. We do a Sunday call, we do an
upper belt call. Any belt level can come to any
(16:49):
of the calls. You'll also see a fitness call
justice because we're running a fitness challenge right now.
Three days a week, we're on calls.
Depending on the call, you can always get a ton of, you know,
more blabbing for me, which is, you know, what a lot of guys
come for. But then they realize that the
real power and the value of the group is within the network
community tools here. If you miss a call, you can grab
the call recording. We've got a general culture
section. We've got a black belt lounge.
(17:11):
Once you get there, we've got some nerdy tech stuff, which is
like AI tools and that sort of thing that a lot of the
engineers in the group discussedin terms of improving their
dating and social life. So next, back to the Inner Game.
We've got this big inner Game thread.
Inner Game is obviously very important because everything is
built upon it. That's why the company is called
Inner Confidence, right? Next on the list, we've got a
fashion thread where people can post feedback in terms of, you
(17:35):
know, their outfits. We've got a conversation skills
channel, we've got a sex channel, we've got a
relationships channel, health and fitness, self-defense,
travel. You know, a lot of guys are
like, hey, I'm traveling to New York, who's there?
And I'll say hit these guys up. Career and wealth channel.
And then we get into those 3 stages that I talked about
earlier, which is the first one's hunting online dating
(17:56):
channel. If you have any issues around
matches or how to follow up witha girl and you just post those
in here. Also, I link you to our online
online dating database. We give you all the lines and
everything you need to deploy anonline dating strategy that
takes all the thought process out of it.
If you're using an online funnel, which most people are,
this is how you optimize at thischannel.
If you're using an approaching funnel, which most guys are as
(18:19):
well, this is where you can go in and talk about the approaches
you're doing and how to optimizethat.
And you can start a thread recordings.
So for example, you can go out and you can approach and you can
record it to your Apple Watch orwhatever and you can post the
recordings. Then we'll give you feedback.
We have a sugar dadding channel,Seeking.
It's my favorite online dating site.
Obviously, if you can weed through the gold diggers and the
(18:41):
scammers, you can find the hottest women and at a better
ratio than any of the other dating sites.
There's more women than men on Seeking, but you have to know
how to do it. That's why we have the sugar
dadding channel. Texting obviously super
important. This is how we're going to give
you feedback on whether your texting is good or not.
The last channel is the escalation dating protocol
channel within hunting, super important.
(19:01):
You go on a date, you're going to write up the date you're
going to what went well, what went poorly, and we'll give you
feedback on what to do instead. Next we have the farming
channels. We have social circle where you
can post anything relating to growing your social circle and
all the social circle game. If you're going to host a party,
you're going to start a thread, Italian dinner party, house
warming party, February 1st, neon party, and we're going to
help you in that thread with everything.
(19:22):
The next step is organized girl advice and this is I'd say one
of the most popular channels in the whole discord.
This allows you to create a new thread based on whichever girl
you want help on. We can follow along for the
entire duration of that relationship and literally we
will help the entire way through.
And the knowledge base is the most important content within
the Discord. This is separate from our huge
(19:44):
library on the main site, but this is just the best stuff from
the Discord that we have, you know, found and made it easy to
aggregate. So dating protocol stuff, party
hosting stuff, hair loss, you name it, it's in here.
We've got AAI. His name is Finn.
You can tag him in any post or any conversation and he will
answer. So he's trained on all my
(20:05):
material, so if I don't answer immediately, he will.
And then we have some other fun channels.
This is a hot or not rating justto make sure you're not getting
catfished and to keep you objective about the sort of
quality you're going for. And we've got a wins and fails
channel and that's super fun andallows everyone to kind of learn
from everyone's success and failure.
So that's the Discord. We're probably the most detail
(20:27):
oriented group you'll ever find that is going to help you
through every stage of the journey.
We don't let anyone get duck. We have accountability calls
every Sunday where you're gonna come on and you're going to tell
us exactly what you're gonna do that week.
And if we think that's a good idea, then we'll say great, do
it. If you come back the next week
and you didn't do it, we're going to Boo you like this.
(20:50):
And if you do it, we're gonna say, hey, good job.
Or we'll tell you that your goalis not a good goal and we'll
make you pick another one instead.
So those are the three stages ofmen's journey through the sexual
marketplace. If you're interested in getting
my help and the help of my community, hit the link in the
description and book a call to apply and we'll jump on and see
if it's a good fit.
Do you follow the pattern of horrible dry spell followed by
monogamous relationship followedby devastating breakup followed
by rinse and repeat? Well, if that's you, you want to
tune into this episode, I'm going to show you how to stop
settling and create an abundant dating life after a brutal
breakup with plenty of high quality options to choose the
best partner from. Instead of doing what most guys
do, which is settling for whoever comes along next to cure
(00:21):
their loneliness, you're listening to the Inner
Confidence podcast. My name is Robbie Kramer, I've
been a coach since 2007 and I'vehelped countless men rapidly
achieve all of their social and dating goals.
My mission is simple, to help you position yourself to meet
stunning women, make awesome friends in route to becoming the
most confident and attractive version you can possibly be.
(00:41):
I am obsessed with giving you the most leveraged ways possible
to win the game. So stick around, let's go.
Let's go over the three stages of the dating game for men.
The first stage is what I call hoping.
Basically, you're just sitting on the apps, hoping to meet
someone through, you know, an app or your social circle.
And when you finally meet someone exciting, you screw it
up because you put them on a pedestal.
(01:02):
You get too needy, and usually you screw up the texting.
The good news is, if you're listening to this, you've
already taken the steps to move out of this stage most likely,
and you're likely in stage two or three by now, which I'll
explain in a bit. Most guys in stage 1 take girls
on typical dinner dates with an awkward kiss attempt after
dessert, which leads to I wasn'tfeeling the chemistry rejection
(01:24):
text later. They put almost no thought into
texting strategy and just do what feels right.
They engage in normally conversations with their
buddies. You shouldn't have to play
games, and you should find a woman who is right for you and
not interested in playing those silly games.
And this is standard cognitive dissonance, of course.
And when a date goes poorly? They asked the woman for
feedback, thinking she might be able to somehow provide some
(01:44):
helpful tips for next time and secretly hoping they can get her
to change her mind. They don't understand that doing
this just buries them further and slams the door completely
shut on any possible future thatthey might have had if they were
able to wait and create that opportunity in stage two or
three. They buy expensive subscriptions
to all the dating apps, they payfor escorts on sites like
(02:05):
Seeking Arrangements, and they hire expensive matchmakers who
fail due to the wrong incentive structures and formal stuffy
dates where nobody wins except the matchmakers wallet or the
girl that got paid by the matchmaker to go on the date.
These services prey on rich men who have become desperate enough
to throw money at the problem ina way that doesn't require self
reflection. Most guys never make it out of
(02:25):
the hoping stage and if they aresuccessful and good looking,
they typically settle for a Six.They were never really that
excited about that. Six understands that his frame
is weak and slowly but surely she will dominate him.
She'll make all decisions about where the relationship goes and
slowly but surely he will lose access to sex with her.
Because she will only desire sexfrom a man she respects and
adores, and due to his inabilityto put her in check and captain
(02:48):
the ship, she will lose all attraction to him.
This sort of relationship does not satisfy by the female
tendency towards hypergamy and she will always be looking for a
bigger, better deal once she realizes that he can't do any
better. Most men settle into a
relationship and allow themselves to get fat and coast
by, You know, 1 less thing to worry about.
Happy wife, happy life, right? Wrong.
(03:08):
It doesn't matter if she was suggesting all those Netflix and
ice cream nights and promising she'll love you forever.
If she feels your masculine edgeslipping away, so will her
desire. This isn't to say women are evil
or manipulative for any of this,it's just happening unconscious.
When you add time and comfort toa relationship, eventually she
will likely divorce you. Take all your money and you'll
(03:32):
just live a quiet life of desperation and take pride in
your kids, your work, or pay forsex on the side.
Men in this stage are also of the highest risk of suicide.
So the good news? Like I said, if you're listening
to this, you're now at least aware that you're in the hoping
stage or you've already moved out of it and you have the power
to create an entirely new narrative for your love and sex
life. So quick recap of the hoping
(03:53):
stage. You sit around waiting for a
spark. You rely on dating apps or
chance encounters in your socialcircle.
When you meet someone exciting, you over invest.
You get needy and lose control of the interaction.
You might spend big money on matchmakers and still end up
settling for someone who doesn'tinspire you.
This leads to unhappy relationships or worse, a life
of quite desperation. You keep hoping for a better
outcome, but nothing changes until you move on to the next
(04:15):
stage. That next stage is hunting.
Before I go into that, I want totell you about New Brew.
I'm about to go golfing with my wife and we're obsessed with
this stuff. It's got no alcohol in it.
It's a euphoric seltzer. This is the Berry flavor.
It's got kratom and cava root. So you feel kind of high I
guess, or a little bit sort of drunk.
You feel euphoric without the booze.
(04:37):
So I've been trying to cut out booze for a long time.
My wife doesn't drink and like she loves this stuff.
She drinks one on every the the 1st hole and the 10th tea.
I usually just do one around because it's pretty strong.
So if you want to grab some new brew you can use the link in my
description. This stuff is amazing.
I highly recommend it So back tohunting, which is stage 2.
(05:01):
In the hunting stage, you take game seriously, you optimize
online dating, but more importantly, you actually
approach women in real life. You face rejection, you go on
dates, you get laid, you get confidence.
This will get you sixes or sevens typically at best, which
isn't bad, right? A six or seven on on my rating
(05:21):
scale is quite high in the beginning.
You'll optimize your online dating profiles and you'll build
your Instagram because most women won't date a guy who has
no Instagram because there's a high likelihood he's
untrustworthy or a scammer. You don't need to be active on
Instagram, you just need a basicprofile with the 9 grid photos
to show you're not a serial killer.
You're not going to sit on the apps all day swiping either like
(05:43):
most guys in the hoping stage, but you're going to deploy a few
tested scripts to see if you canget as many dates as possible.
The quality isn't even that important.
You just need to go on a lot of dates to get what I call target
practice. The hunting stage requires wing
men because to consistently huntalone is terrible.
It's a horrible task with nonstop rejection.
I mean, Can you imagine going out to bars and social places
(06:05):
alone? People will think you're a total
loser unless you've done a lot of it and you're just
comfortable with it, which is kudos to you, which is not as
fun, right? Wouldn't you rather go with your
friends? Even hunting during the day is
going to be brutal because you're never going to number
close more than 30 to 40% of thewomen you approach.
And that's if you're really goodat it.
So way more often than not, you're going to get rejected.
(06:25):
And you can face that rejection for a few days, a few weeks.
But months and months of seriousrejection is not something a
human can really handle. So a wing man, even better,
multiple wing men is necessary. The trick to winning at the
hunting stage is staying out of a monogamous relationship,
because the longer you can stay in the stage, the better hunter
(06:46):
you will become, and the qualityof women will improve
drastically even over the courseof just a few months hunting.
In the beginning, you'll be lucky to bang a few fives, but
very soon, if you approach at least 25 women per week, you'll
start seeing results with sixes and sevens.
Maybe even you'll get lucky withthe occasional 8 if she's on the
rebound and you're kind of in the right place at the right
time. And due to the large amount of
(07:07):
leads, you'll be forced to learnto optimize your texting and
your approach to dates. You'll realize that the less you
chase, the more you chill, the better results you'll get.
The tricky thing about the hunting stage is that the desire
for sex and connection will be the motivator to do it, but you
really need to govern yourself and be very careful about how
much you actually indulge in that sex to keep it moving
(07:30):
forward. What I see from most guys in the
stage is they get forced into a monogamous relationship with the
first cute girl they really everdated.
This girl will be better than any woman they've had before and
they will text her more. She will of course reciprocate
with her communication. They will start to fall in love
and spend multiple days per weekhanging out.
She will pressure him to commit because why wouldn't she?
(07:51):
Why would she allow another woman to swoop in and steal her
man and all the wonderful benefits of having his provision
and protection? You won't have the backbone or
confidence to maintain a boundary of non exclusivity and
he'll be out of the game. The likely fate is that
eventually her stronger frame will dominate him and he might
even end up in the same fate as the guy described earlier in
that hoping stage one just because he learned to sort of
(08:14):
hunt well enough to, you know, bag her.
He doesn't. He hasn't yet adopted the
correct frame of abundance and asense of confidence he would
have reached if he made it through stage 2.
So the only way to successfully hunt is to say single.
Surround yourself with wing men who push you, build a rotation
of casual girls that you see no more than once per week, and
(08:35):
keep hunting until you've maxed out the quality you know you
will have maxed out. When you've built a rotation of
a handful and out five to 10, sixes and sevens.
They all want to be your girlfriend.
Your life will be much easier and drama free if you remember
that golden ratio of see them nomore than one time per week and
text them no more than three times per week.
(08:55):
And that's not individual texts of course.
That's like 3 conversations. Most guys simply don't have the
willpower or support system likethe one we've created in the IC
community to graduate as hunters, and they simply become
serial monogamous with their hunting skills, only to
eventually suffer the fate of stage 1 after getting soft and
reverting back to their traditional ways.
So let's do a quick recap of thehunting stage.
(09:16):
You decide to take dating seriously.
You improve your online dating profiles, you work on your
social skills, you approach women in person, you gather
leads and you gain experience through trial and error.
And you stay single longer so you can meet more women and
build real confidence. You learn how to text
effectively and you plan better dates.
Having wingman or supportive community helps you push through
rejection. Over time, you attract higher
(09:38):
quality women and you feel a surge in yourself esteem and
confidence. Now let's talk about the third
stage, and that is farming. Another way you could say this.
Some people refer to it as fame game.
You know, being famous. You don't have to be famous, of
course. And if you want to ensure you'll
be able to create truly rewarding relationships in which
you're in control, you're steering the ship, you're
wearing the pants, and have unrestricted access to sex, that
(10:02):
is what you need to graduate to.You can't skip stage 2 because
it's in those dealings with women and learning to pass their
tests in which you become the sort of battle tested animal
that has the confidence to pull off stage 3.
The guys who try to skip stage 2and simply throw money at the
problem by organizing trips withpromoters or hiring matchmakers
(10:22):
end up in the friend zone simplydue to a weak frame.
If you aren't able to seduce women who agreed to a date with
you, you have no chance turning a friend into a lover.
You use all the tools and option2 to grow your local circle, but
you don't seduce them through over chasing.
You wait for them to seduce you.Instagram is vital to this
because it bridges the gap between seeing them organically,
(10:45):
which allows you to hang out in the call it friend zone.
Except she didn't put you in it,so you're not really in the
friend zone. You're just a cool guy in her
life who hasn't shown interest, who's got hot girls around him
and this makes you different andmysterious.
Fame game or farming is simple. Brad Pitt can get any girl he
wants because all women understand he's desired by other
(11:05):
women. Women are very simple in what
they want. They want men that other women
want. If you aren't famous in the
world, you can become famous within the circle that you
create. This is also the most organic
approach preferred by both men and women alike.
Everyone would prefer to meet someone through their friends
because they're way more likely to already possess the same
values and social status. So to become famous in your own
(11:28):
social circle, all you need to do is be one of the leaders of
that circle. A lot of introverted guys
retreat at this idea of buildinga social circle because that
sounds like miserable hard work to them.
But let me ask you this, If you had five smoking hot girls
showing up to a small house party and they've all expressed
some sort of interest in you, and all you had to do is show up
(11:49):
and chill, would that be a horrible time?
You can't do farming alone because those five girls showing
up to a party with just you would be awkward.
So by design, you need a wingmanor two.
But it's within this framework that allows you to enjoy the
process. You're going to find a role
within that organization that you enjoy and that will be your
responsibility. Your wing men will take on the
(12:12):
other roles that you don't and you will work together like a
well oiled machine. Even if you're an entrepreneur
and you wear many hats, almost everything you don't want to do
can be outsourced and that freesup your time to do what you do
best within your social circle or organization.
To use the metaphor, you can build a social circle around the
hobbies and activities you like the most.
Sports, music, dancing, photography.
(12:34):
I've even seen social circles built around the that silly game
called Mafia. I've seen them built around
ultimate frisbee. Like super dorky things, but hot
girls are into that stuff too. By doing your part in organizing
hosting, you'll be creating value for anyone you bring in,
and that value will come back around in the form of sexual
opportunity and even money. To fill your social circle.
You'll use the same skills that you built to hunt, but it's even
(12:56):
easier when you're asking for something way less intrusive
than a date. It's much easier and way less
rejection filled to strike up a combo with someone and act to
and ask to exchange Instagrams if you find a connection point
rather than just asking them on a date like you would have
hunting. You're going to slowly massage
the relationship via Instagram by posting stories to stay top
(13:17):
of mind with anyone who follows you and the occasional message
to check in. You're going to follow their
stories too. This is what I call digital
flirting, but it's not one to one.
It's you to all of your leads, which is the highest form of
leverage you can possibly have. You're waiting until you've seen
the right amount of investment before inviting them to
something social you're attending.
(13:37):
When she shows up, she's going to realize that there are other
women competing for you in this environment and that will signal
pre selection and voila, you've just achieved fame game.
The goal is to befriend as many gorgeous women as possible and
to add them to your social funnel.
Once you have the women, you'll be flooded with guys who want a
piece of the action and you'll want to let any of them in to
(13:58):
help you share the workload. But be careful to weed out the
bad ones and only accept guys who are bringing a good amount
of equal value. Your hunting wing men are
obviously in the best position to grow into the next stage with
you, and seduction happens on a much longer timeline when the
girl wants it. Most men fall in love at first
sight. Women could take weeks or even
months to realize she really wants a guy.
(14:20):
And that's why this strategy is so effective.
Done correctly, you will position yourself to win with
every single girl who comes through your social funnel due
to your status and relative frame.
If you're short or you have other limiting physical factors
that disqualify you early with most women, this is really the
only thing that's going to create consistent results with
really high quality women for you overtime and exposure at
(14:42):
your events. She's going to understand the
competition is fierce and she'llbe forced to signal interest
first. This is super important because
it puts you in the position of the adored and gives you the
best chance for a successful relationship going forward.
She's always going to understandthat if she isn't on her best
behavior, you have a ton of viable and amazing options since
(15:02):
that's the environment in which she met you.
The same girl could be a tyrant with the guy she meets who is in
the hoping stage, and with a guyshe met through farming, she
might be a perfect, perfect wifey, right?
It's all about your frame at theend of the day.
A woman will act as a mirror to her man.
So whether you're looking to marry your dream girl or simply
(15:22):
have the most fun possible as a single man, farming is the
solution to both. And like I always say, why not
have the most amount of fun possible and route to that
happily ever after scenario. So quick recap of the farming
stage. You shift from chasing to
creating environment where womenpursue you.
You build a social circle aroundyour interests, invite new
people in, let chemistry developnaturally.
(15:45):
Instagram becomes your bridge between in person meets,
allowing you to stay on someone's radar without chasing
her. As women see your value and pre
selection, they start to make the first move.
This dynamic puts you in controland gives you a sustainable
drama free dating life. You're not just playing the
field, you're curating your own environment, so you always have
quality options. So those are the three stages of
the journey to navigating Sectional Marketplace.
(16:07):
Now I'm going to give you a walkthrough.
All right, now that I've explained the three stages, let
me explain how the IC community is going to help you move
through each of those stages. This is a community here on the
right, you see our member list. As you can see right now, we got
19 people online, including a few bots just to help us run the
(16:28):
Discord. And then we got 46 offline.
And then we've got the belt system and you see the names on
the right, they've got a color next to them.
That's the corresponding belt. So the goal is obviously to
become a black belt. That is a skill set that you'll
have forever. It can never be taken away from
you. Defends against marrying the
wrong girl. Most important part of the group
are the calls that we do. We do a Sunday call, we do an
upper belt call. Any belt level can come to any
(16:49):
of the calls. You'll also see a fitness call
justice because we're running a fitness challenge right now.
Three days a week, we're on calls.
Depending on the call, you can always get a ton of, you know,
more blabbing for me, which is, you know, what a lot of guys
come for. But then they realize that the
real power and the value of the group is within the network
community tools here. If you miss a call, you can grab
the call recording. We've got a general culture
section. We've got a black belt lounge.
(17:11):
Once you get there, we've got some nerdy tech stuff, which is
like AI tools and that sort of thing that a lot of the
engineers in the group discussedin terms of improving their
dating and social life. So next, back to the Inner Game.
We've got this big inner Game thread.
Inner Game is obviously very important because everything is
built upon it. That's why the company is called
Inner Confidence, right? Next on the list, we've got a
fashion thread where people can post feedback in terms of, you
(17:35):
know, their outfits. We've got a conversation skills
channel, we've got a sex channel, we've got a
relationships channel, health and fitness, self-defense,
travel. You know, a lot of guys are
like, hey, I'm traveling to New York, who's there?
And I'll say hit these guys up. Career and wealth channel.
And then we get into those 3 stages that I talked about
earlier, which is the first one's hunting online dating
(17:56):
channel. If you have any issues around
matches or how to follow up witha girl and you just post those
in here. Also, I link you to our online
online dating database. We give you all the lines and
everything you need to deploy anonline dating strategy that
takes all the thought process out of it.
If you're using an online funnel, which most people are,
this is how you optimize at thischannel.
If you're using an approaching funnel, which most guys are as
(18:19):
well, this is where you can go in and talk about the approaches
you're doing and how to optimizethat.
And you can start a thread recordings.
So for example, you can go out and you can approach and you can
record it to your Apple Watch orwhatever and you can post the
recordings. Then we'll give you feedback.
We have a sugar dadding channel,Seeking.
It's my favorite online dating site.
Obviously, if you can weed through the gold diggers and the
(18:41):
scammers, you can find the hottest women and at a better
ratio than any of the other dating sites.
There's more women than men on Seeking, but you have to know
how to do it. That's why we have the sugar
dadding channel. Texting obviously super
important. This is how we're going to give
you feedback on whether your texting is good or not.
The last channel is the escalation dating protocol
channel within hunting, super important.
(19:01):
You go on a date, you're going to write up the date you're
going to what went well, what went poorly, and we'll give you
feedback on what to do instead. Next we have the farming
channels. We have social circle where you
can post anything relating to growing your social circle and
all the social circle game. If you're going to host a party,
you're going to start a thread, Italian dinner party, house
warming party, February 1st, neon party, and we're going to
help you in that thread with everything.
(19:22):
The next step is organized girl advice and this is I'd say one
of the most popular channels in the whole discord.
This allows you to create a new thread based on whichever girl
you want help on. We can follow along for the
entire duration of that relationship and literally we
will help the entire way through.
And the knowledge base is the most important content within
the Discord. This is separate from our huge
(19:44):
library on the main site, but this is just the best stuff from
the Discord that we have, you know, found and made it easy to
aggregate. So dating protocol stuff, party
hosting stuff, hair loss, you name it, it's in here.
We've got AAI. His name is Finn.
You can tag him in any post or any conversation and he will
answer. So he's trained on all my
(20:05):
material, so if I don't answer immediately, he will.
And then we have some other fun channels.
This is a hot or not rating justto make sure you're not getting
catfished and to keep you objective about the sort of
quality you're going for. And we've got a wins and fails
channel and that's super fun andallows everyone to kind of learn
from everyone's success and failure.
So that's the Discord. We're probably the most detail
(20:27):
oriented group you'll ever find that is going to help you
through every stage of the journey.
We don't let anyone get duck. We have accountability calls
every Sunday where you're gonna come on and you're going to tell
us exactly what you're gonna do that week.
And if we think that's a good idea, then we'll say great, do
it. If you come back the next week
and you didn't do it, we're going to Boo you like this.
(20:50):
And if you do it, we're gonna say, hey, good job.
Or we'll tell you that your goalis not a good goal and we'll
make you pick another one instead.
So those are the three stages ofmen's journey through the sexual
marketplace. If you're interested in getting
my help and the help of my community, hit the link in the
description and book a call to apply and we'll jump on and see
if it's a good fit.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com