June 9, 2025 • 31 mins
Intro:
Most guys completely blow it at bars — not because they’re unattractive or awkward, but because they have no idea how to move, where to stand, or how to actually create a connection in a nightlife environment. In this episode, I’m breaking down the real reason guys fail with women at bars — and giving you a proven system you can follow to approach confidently, spark attraction, and avoid the mistakes that kill your chances before you even open your mouth. If you’re tired of standing around with a drink in your hand waiting for something to happen, this episode is going to flip the script.
Links:
Get NewBrew: https://www.drinknewbrew.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 Mastering Bar Game Tactics
05:08 Ideal LA Bars for Socializing
09:29 Clubbing Strategy in Major Cities
12:42 Confidence Tips for Bar Newcomers
16:09 Awkward Hand-Holding Encounter
16:54 "Playful Dating Roleplay Banter"
22:47 Late-Night Bathroom Hookup Story
25:33 Approach Etiquette: Acknowledge Her Friends
27:10 "Building Attraction: Playful Interactions"
30:29 "Join High-Status Social Circle"
Connect w/ Robbie:
Book a call: https://calendly.com/robbiekramer/strategy-call
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robbie_kramer/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Most guys go out hoping to get lucky.
They hit a bar, they buy a drink, they stand around
awkwardly and wonder why nothingever happens.
But if you know what you're doing, the right places to
stand, the right things to say, the right way to move, a bar
becomes one of the easiest places to meet women.
In this episode, I'm going to show you how to run bar game
like a system from your first lap around the venue to
isolating her and setting up forthe pull if you want to bring
(00:23):
her home that night. There's a lot of girls that go
out that are into that. I'll breakdown the exact
mistakes most guys make, how to fix some, how to approach in a
way that's playful, confident, and not creepy.
Whether you're hitting up a divebar, a cocktail lounge, or
something in between, this episode is going to give you a
full playbook. Plus the exact bar game protocol
I teach inside the IC community.So let's get into it.
(00:45):
You're listening to the Inner Confidence podcast.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
helped countless men rapidly achieve all of their social and
dating goals. My mission is simple, to help
you position yourself to meet stunning women, make awesome
friends in route to becoming themost confident and attractive
version you can possibly be. I'm absolutely obsessed with
(01:05):
giving you the most leverage ways possible to win the game to
stick around. Let's go.
We're going to talk everything related to meeting women in
social situations. And the vast majority of these
situations occur at night, whichis why most people refer to it
as night game. And by social situations, I mean
any venue or event where it's socially acceptable and
(01:27):
encouraged to talk to strangers.So real quick, our sponsor, New
Brew. I'm getting cottonmouth here.
So I'm going to have some of this.
This is some of my favorite cocktails though.
There's no alcohol. It's euphoric seltzer.
It's got kratom leaf and Kava root.
So you feel good and you don't feel the hangover.
(01:50):
So in the last episode we covered day game, which is
basically the term that the dating community uses to
describe meeting women and non social environments like coffee
shops, subway, public transportation, walking down the
street, etcetera. Before we dive deeper into clubs
and bars, let's talk about something that confuses a lot of
guys and that's festivals and concerts.
(02:11):
Are they night game? Are they day game?
Well, it depends. Festivals like Coachella or
Burning Man are essentially justmassive outdoor bars.
There's music, there's movement,there's social hubs and chill
spaces where verbal game thrives.
These are bar style environmentswhere it's encouraged to
socialize and socially acceptable to talk to strangers.
On the flip side, concerts, especially loud EDM shows or
(02:33):
packed arenas, are more like clubs.
The music's too loud to talk andyour game becomes entirely non
verbal. It's eye contact, proximity,
touch, vibe. So here's the rule.
If you can talk, it's bar game. If you can't hear each other,
it's club game. If you can talk but it's not
socially acceptable to approach,it's day game.
The simple distinction tells youwhich tools to use and what kind
(02:55):
of game to run. So let's get into bar stuff
first. You know your run-of-the-mill
going out Thursday, Friday, Saturday night to meet women at
the bars. So first, let's talk the five
big mistakes First. Big mistake number one.
Most guys you'll see out at the bars, they'll walk in, they'll
get a drink, and they'll creepily stand on the side of
the dance floor scoping out chicks.
(03:15):
Big no, no, they'll hesitate to approach.
They'll wait until it's too late, AKA wait until they're
drunk because they're waiting for liquid courage to kick in.
Another big mistake guys make isthey try to have logical
conversations that bore the crapout of girls bombing her with
interview style questions like Walter Cronkite and failing to
make any sort of fun physical connection or banter.
(03:37):
Try having a logical conversation in a bar, club, or
party environment. It's just boring and it sucks.
Guys will offer to buy drinks and the second they meet a woman
it's in an effort to just kind of buy her time.
And this is never the reason to buy a girl a drink.
You buy her a drink after you have some attraction for her,
you've connected with her, and it's time to get one for
yourself anyways. And you're drinking anyways, so
(03:58):
you're gonna buy our one too. Not positioning yourself
properly to establish a physicalconnection?
That's a big mistake. Guys will walk in, they'll be
talking to a girl, they'll be standing a little bit too far
from her to make it easy for touch to happen.
If a girl likes you, she's goingto touch you on the arm, she's
going to laugh at your jokes, and she's going to be
comfortable kind of exposing hertorso to you if she's talking to
you like this, so you know she'sprobably not a deal.
(04:20):
Some guys are comfortable touching women right away,
others don't touch at all until the woman does that.
Either way works, but you must be positioned incorrectly for
either to happen. Failing to isolate, which is the
only way you can pull her that night.
Big mistake. Spending too much time talking
to girls and their friends. Not enough time one-on-one.
The last mistake is failing to shift in conversation, spending
(04:41):
the whole time either just joking or goofing around when
it's clear that it's time to shift into a more getting to
know her vibe or going way too quickly into the getting to know
her vibe. Both are mistakes.
So next I want to talk first about venues and a couple key
points things to be aware of forthose of you who have partied
(05:02):
with me in LA or spent time withme.
You've certainly experienced these two places.
My two favorite bars in LA are The Bungalow in Santa Monica and
Laurel Hardware in West Hollywood.
And what makes them awesome is they have multiple spots within
them that allow for awesome gameto be run, fun to be had.
They've got outside patios, they've got booths, they've got
(05:24):
little nooks and loungy cranniesand laid back types of parts of
the bar. They usually have music that's
loud enough to create a fun environment, but it's not so
loud that you can't hold a conversation with a small group
of people. You can also eat dinner at both
these places and the vibe changes from like a dinner vibe
to more of a fun party vibe. Between 10:00 and 11:00 PM, if
you have a table of four, you guys can all hear each other
(05:47):
pretty well. This is the optimal venue for
both meeting women and creating enough of the connection to try
and polar that night. So you should find the bars in
your area that are similar to these examples because odds are
the people that you want to meetare already going there.
And my favorite part about meeting women at these sorts of
bars is there's always a chance to score the same night.
And there's a lot of women that are going out hoping for that to
(06:07):
happen too. I love these places.
Conversation skills went out at the end of the day, if you have
solid conversation skills, whichis for me anyways, the biggest
part of my game that I've been working on since day one, since
2005, married now, so not so much anymore.
And now I'm now I'm kind of boring, but I do really well in
these environments. And if you're not, you know, if
you don't have a huge crew of hot girls to roll with, if
(06:29):
you're not a tall, really attractive guy, conversation
skills are the great equalizer. So you can do a lot more damage
in a place like this if you're lacking in some of the other
areas. Another example I want to
mention is a dive bar, a sports bar.
You know, dive bars or sports bars don't present all the
(06:49):
options that a place like Bungalow does with multiple bars
and nooks and crannies. There's no spots to venue
change, just a long bar. There's typically no pool tables
or anything. Well, maybe a sports bar, but
I'm talking a dive bar. Now people just stand there,
they sit at the bar and they drink and maybe they have some
fun little games like pool or darts, which are great too, but
they don't really have a loungy vibe.
(07:10):
They have more of a let's get fucked up and drink vibe and
let's watch the game vibe. And typically if I meet a woman
in a place like this, there's not a lot of room to venue
change within the venue like youcan a bungalow or Laurel.
But the good thing about dive bars is the women you find there
are typically more down to partythat night.
You're not going to bump into the entitled women with
expensive taste because they would never be caught dead in a
dive bar or sports bar like that.
(07:32):
Like my wife, she hates those places.
I can't even get her to go there.
So if I meet a chick at a not saying she's entitled, but
she's, you know, she's not gonnashe's she's Ukrainian.
She's like, I will, I will go tothis crap.
So if I meet a chick at a standard bar, I will focus on
moving her out of that bar as soon as I can.
Most places in New York are smaller.
So if you're there, that's, you know, that's gonna be more of
(07:54):
the type of place in this kind of description or smaller bars
in little cities, the kind of like strip of bars in
Scottsdale, for example, are huge.
And those are synonymous with a place like the Bungalow or Laura
Hardware. Later on the episode, I'm gonna
give you a model for taking girls home from bars.
Let's define what clubs are for the purpose of running optimal
game. Clubs are a ton of fun if you're
(08:15):
willing to throw down for bottleservice and you're in a major
market like LA, Vegas, Miami, New York City, Paris, London,
Milan if you're in a Dubai. If you're in a smaller city that
doesn't have a modeling industry, you're probably better
off avoiding most clubs because they're lame.
How to operate in unless you're really tall good looking Chad.
The clubs I'm talking about are designed specifically for bottle
service. If you walk into a place like
(08:36):
Grass Putin in LA or in Paris, you know there's a small bar at
the front. No one cool is ever at the bar.
Everyone is at their table and the tables take up 90% of the
venue because that's where the party is happening.
But in a majority of the US cities, you can go to a club
without buying a table. These places are like big bars.
They're loud. You'll, you know, have a dance
(08:58):
floor. You'll typically see a big
groups of girls in Bachelorette parties and big groups of guys.
The San Diego Gaslamp Quarter islittered with these places.
I think they suck and they're ghetto and they're very hard to
operate out of because you can'trun verbal game and girls come
in big groups making it harder to isolate and pull.
So for the purpose of this conversation, consider anything
that's not a pure bar and not a pure bottle service club a
(09:20):
hybrid. And the reason why these kinds
of hybrid models exist in smaller markets is because they
don't have big enough spenders to support a bottle service only
venue. And in the city like New York or
Paris, you have enough guys, youhave enough promoters, you have
a fashion entertainment modelling industry where you can
have a place that's going to be a minimum of a couple $1000 per
table. But there's not a lot of guys
(09:41):
who can afford that in a night out in a place like Scottsdale,
even though there's a lot of money there, it just doesn't
have a big enough market. So the best way to utilize these
clubs that I'm talking about in his major metropolitans and
cities is to bring hot girls with you, have a table, throw a
party, leverage that situation to meet even more cute girls.
So we've defined the venues. Now we're going to talk about
(10:02):
how to operate and run optimal game in each.
So when you walk into a bar, dive bar, even a club 2, take a
lap, scope out the place. Look for places where you can
isolate, like back areas, placesto sit.
I use the bungalow as a great example.
Here's a video of the layout of that.
You know, when you walk into thebungalow, the first thing you
(10:23):
see is a ping pong table. Obviously there's a little bit
stuff happening before there where the line is and whatnot.
But you know, there's a ping pong table, people are playing
ping pong, maybe beer bong, maybe they don't allow beer pong
anymore there. But then you walk in into like
the main outdoor area where there's a bunch of tables and
there's a DJ and there's like where all the, the the party's
(10:45):
happening. That's kind of the outdoor area.
And then there's also a bar in the back of that outdoor area.
Then when you walk to the right,inside there's another room
that's almost the same size as that giant outdoor area.
Well, 2 rooms ones got a bunch of couches.
There's a big bar in there. There's another room with a bar
and more seating. It's a little bit more loungey.
(11:05):
You can hear, you can talk, there's music, but it's not as
loud obviously. And then if you walk even
further back, there's a hidden area that a lot of people don't
even know about. There's a fire pit back there.
There's a small little bar that services the area.
There's a long table that you can order food at.
There's a make out spot behind aBush.
There's a billiards room. And that kind of make out spot
(11:27):
is really cool. It's just like basically
designed as a make out spot. So if you know your way around a
bar like this, there's so many opportunities to move girls
around, change the energy, isolate, escalate things
physically. And if you're going out with the
intention of pulling, you need to know those things.
So do your homework. It's great to go to bars and get
(11:50):
to know the staff, get to know the door guys, bartenders.
I always learn the bouncer's name.
I write it down in a note on my phone.
Anytime a bartender serves me, Ishake his hand, her hand.
I get his or her name. I write that down in a note with
the description of what they look like.
If it's a slow time, I'll shoot the shit with them for a little
bit. I'll try to make quick
connections so they remember my face.
If it's busy, I'm not going to waste their time.
(12:13):
But the next time I see them, I'll address them by their first
name. I'll shake their hand.
I'll say, hey, Andrew, how's it going?
Good to see you again. And you know, I'll establish
that I'm, I'm cool, I'm on a first name basis and I can't
tell you how many times I've been able to skip the lines and
get free drinks just for being cool and remembering peoples
names. Body language wise, whenever
you're in a venue regardless, take up space.
(12:34):
Find the best real estate. Don't go sharking around the
venue like a predator looking for prey.
Be relaxed. Don't try to look all alpha and
tough and Mad Dog in people. Also, don't be meek and worried
or scared. For guys that haven't spent a
lot of time at the bars, you know it's going to be a new
experience. It was funny when I was out with
my little brother, you know, wayback in the day when he was 18,
we stuck him into a bar and he was like, hey, can you order for
(12:55):
me? I don't know what to do and I
forget that I used to experiencethat too.
Like when I was first turned 21 and I started going to bars.
The thought of just like ordering a drink or finding a
place to sit or stand at the barwas a little bit intimidating.
So by spending some time at these places and getting
comfortable in that situation, your body language and vibe will
(13:16):
kind of improve unconsciously over time.
Now I'm going to give you a formula for pulling women from
the bars to your bedroom after party.
And even if you don't pull, it'sthe best way to make the most
connections as possible to maximize your evening if the
intention is to meet women. So it's a template you can
follow to optimize your time in a bar.
I want to tell you a quick storythat illustrates it.
(13:39):
So I was out in London and I wasout with two clients and I had
one other client who was back atthe hotel room.
We didn't want to come out because he was being a, a fuddy
Duddy. We weren't doing any specific
infield coaching that night. We were just partying together.
It was kind of like the last night.
We got a good recommendation of a bar in Piccadilly Circus that
(13:59):
attracts a lot of tourists. It's a tourist part of town.
So we went in this place, me andthese two guys, we took a quick
lap. We assessed the venue.
We looked for the cool little spots.
We found the best little corner of the bar area, kind of between
like the bar and the bathroom. It wasn't anything super cool
like the bungalow, just a normalbar with a couple extra rooms,
more of a chill vibe. We posted up and grabbed some
(14:21):
drinks and it's important to find a spot where you can make
eye contact with girls 'cause it's the easiest way to open,
one of the only ways to open really.
I mean, obviously you can just walk up and say your shot, shoot
your shot, but like get the eye contact first.
It's so much more powerful and you can get a little eye contact
that goes a long way. So I noticed a girl checking me
out pretty close, like right away.
(14:41):
And the first time I caught her looking at me, she looked away
really fast, didn't have a chance to even show any sort of
expression. And then, you know, 30 seconds
later, I looked over again and Icaught her checking me out again
quickly. She looked away like she was
obviously nervous. And then again she did it.
And this time I gave her a little wink and a smile like
gotcha. I think the best way to make eye
(15:02):
contact is to hold your gaze a second too long and then do a
head nod, a smile wink to acknowledge the connection.
Like you're looking at it as a. You can also go more over the
top and point at her or something, you know, like face,
like I caught her like, like, you know, Kyle, you checking me
out. You want to do something to
establish the fact that you guyshad this brief eye contact
(15:26):
connection. So like, you know, she knows
that you know, for guys who are uncomfortable with eye contact,
like when she, you know, catchesyou like you're looking at girl
and she looks at you and you feel the need to avert your gaze
and dart your eyes away. That's a huge turn out to girls.
They'll immediately disqualify you as a sexual option.
So get comfortable making eye contact.
(15:46):
You'll have to practice this. Holding eye contact with people
makes a big difference, and you have no chance succeeding
without it. No chance.
So what happened? Like I said, each time, you
know, eventually I gave her thatlittle slice Merk like sort of
like a wink, and she turned bright red, totally blushed.
And that point I walked right over to her.
She was with a girlfriend and another guy and I had no idea,
(16:09):
you know, I just literally saw them a minute ago.
So I walked right over and kind of like sidled up next to her
side and her friend was engaged with the guy and I got pretty
close to her, like kind of in her personal space, but side by
side. And I said, hey, I'm Robbie.
I extended my hand and while shaking her hand while she was
telling her me her name, which is Mary.
I didn't I didn't let her hand go.
(16:30):
I just kind of like continue to lightly holding it.
And after about 10 seconds, which is a long time to be
holding a stranger's hand, I kind of said to her, I'm like,
so do you know how I know that you have a crush on me?
She goes, why? I said, well, you're still
holding my hand. She laughed and got embarrassed.
And I tried to pull it away for a second, but I was like, no,
(16:51):
come on. We're we're boyfriend girlfriend
now. Do you want to be my girlfriend?
Can we be exclusive? I kind of went into some of
those silly lines that I talk about in the marriage role play,
which is in the online dating database.
If you listen to this podcast, then you have heard me mention
that. If not, shoot me a comment and
I'll link you that, you know, that whole kind of boyfriend,
girlfriend, married couple role play.
(17:12):
And I think I followed up with like, wait, you know, before
we're exclusive, like you can cook, right?
Because you know, I need to datesomeone who can cook.
And I'm not just talking about the microwave.
We got into one of these kind ofback and forth, bantry, silly
fun conversations. Then it's really important that
you have fun and you're playful and you're flirty rather going
straight off the bat with who are you from, what do you do or
(17:32):
bullshit like that. Biographical conversations at
that point in the conversation are way too soon.
They're going to blow you out. So after about a minute of this
banter, so I asked the group, you know, I turned to her
friends and the guy and I'm like, so how did you guys all
come to be? Which is a line that basically
just creative way of saying how do you guys all know each other?
It's just colorful language makes you sound more
(17:52):
interesting. She told me that she and the
girlfriend had been friends for many years and that the guy was
just kind of a well, she didn't say that, but she's like, Oh
yeah. And we just met this guy.
He was obviously just a dude that was hitting on her friend
walked over like 5 minutes ago. And this guy had terrible body
language. He was really feminine, I could
tell he had no shot whatsoever with a friend, but I was cool
(18:13):
with him. I wasn't like trying to get rid
of him or anything like that, even though they were totally
averting their attention to me. So that guy coolly left within a
minute or two when he saw he hadno shot.
And at that .1 of my clients came over to play wing man with
the other girl, which was great.And the other client who was
also very well coached if I don't say so myself.
He didn't come because you wouldn't want to create a fifth
(18:33):
wheel situation. He went and started talking to
other girls, which was, you know, perfect.
So I ordered us around his shotsat the bar.
After about 10 minutes I suggested we go to another venue
and since we were new to the area, I asked my girl.
I'm like all right, why don't you be our tour guide, show us
another good spot. And they took us to a loungey
wine bar which is about a 5 minute walk away.
(18:55):
And as we were leaving, I was holding her hand.
And I held her hand the entire way to the next venue.
But I was careful not to over invest or get needy.
It was more like she was holdingmy hand versus me holding her
hand, if that even makes sense. She was kind of like snuggling
up next to me as we were walking, like holding on to my
arm a little bit, leaning on me,interlacing her fingers with
mine. I knew it was totally game on.
(19:17):
So the five of us, because I, you know, grabbed the other guy,
we went to the other place and we got there.
I bought us a round of drinks. I noticed that my client was
getting a little bit of love from Mary's girlfriend.
The other guy went to talk to other people again and I knew it
was time to isolate Mary. I was like, hey, me and Mary are
going to grab a place to say it.Can you guys, you know, grab
(19:38):
drinks over there, which is something you can do if you want
to isolate and you can have yourbuddy get a drink and have him
asked the other girl to help himwith it, which is kind of a
nifty way to get the girl solo. So I found a booth, we sat down,
she was all over me right away. We were making out like crazy,
but I didn't want to make out too hardcore and put her on the
spot. Like I said, I knew she was
ready to be kissed. She was, you know, holding my
(20:00):
hand, giving me tons of eye contact, laughing at all my
jokes, acting as if she was already my girlfriend.
My client did the right thing bynot coming over with her
girlfriend and he allowed me to maintain our one-on-one time.
This also worked 'cause she liked him.
They were just kind of sitting at the bar and Mary started
asking me personal questions at that point.
And it's really important that you let the girl ask questions
(20:21):
to you first 'cause if she seeksrapport, if she gets, you know,
the one to be initially asking things about you, it means she's
interested. And that's what happened here.
So we went back and forth. I told her some stories.
I did some mentor game. I think she was talking about
starting a business and I, you know, had some experience in
that. I'm not going to get too much in
the conversation stuff in this podcast.
That's what the intercom community is for.
(20:42):
We really teach all these skills, really important that
you know how to to be a dynamic conversationalist, how to create
an emotional roller coaster in your conversation so they don't
become boring and logical and stale.
But that went on for another 30 minutes or so.
Eventually we went back over thebar to check on my friend and
her friend, and at that point hehad kind of like blown himself
(21:02):
out with this girl. He wasn't getting any love from
her. So I told him to go find the
other guy. And I told Mary that I was
gonna, and I told them first I was gonna try to take my girl
out of there. So I kind of whispered to Mary.
I was like, hey, I want more tour guide duty and I want to go
just you and me. And she was totally into that.
So she goes, well, hold on, let's walk my friend to the bus
(21:23):
station because she lives 45 minutes out of the city.
And, you know, so we left the bar.
The three of us who walked about10 minutes away to the station
sent her friend on her way. And it was actually perfect that
she was kind of saying goodbye to her friend because like an
idiot, I forgot to bring condomsout.
So I needed to sneak in a littlekiosk, little, you know, mini
market and grab some without hernoticing.
(21:45):
So she said goodbye to her friend.
I ducked in the store then she was hungry.
Luckily there was, you know, a couple St. kebabs that we
grabbed and and then I said, allright, next stop threw in a
taxi. I gave the cabbie the address,
which was the Green Park Marriott, which was obviously my
hotel I was staying at. She was like, where we going?
We going to your hotel? And I said, don't worry, I'll be
(22:07):
like an 86% gentleman and we've got shisha.
We're gonna smoke hookah back inmy hotel.
She's like, okay, I love hookah and it's important to use a
proxy like hookah or something else to make her not feel
responsible for sex. If I say we're going back to my
hotel, she probably would have been like, no, I can, I just met
you. You know, if I just said that it
(22:27):
would have been this whole bullshit conversation about how
she's not going to sleep with me.
But if I say it's just hookah and it's no big deal because
he's not going to feel like a slut, even if I didn't have the
hookah, I still could have said that we're just going to go back
and smoke shisha. Then we get back.
She's like, where's the shisha? Oh yeah, sorry, I lied.
So we get back to the hotel and the ride back from the hotel,
we're just kind of make it out in the cab, joking, flirting
around. But one of my clients was
(22:49):
sharing a room with me that I mentioned, and unfortunately, he
was already asleep in the king bed.
It was pretty late at the time, almost 4:00 AM, and I didn't
have the nerve to kick him out of bed because he had like a
7:00 AM flight even though he said I could if I pulled a girl
back. But I'm a nice guy so luckily
there was a big bathroom. I brought a bunch of linens and
pillows into the bathroom, created a little sit down area,
fired up the hookah, had a couple puffs on the hookah, and
(23:12):
then we hooked up in the bathroom and unfortunately she
didn't want to like spend the night and cuddle on the floor of
the bathroom so she went home. Let's go over the nitty gritty
of this formula real quick. I'm gonna give you guys an idea
of everything that I went through.
So First off, when you get to the bar, take a quick lap, find
the best place to post up. You want to have a good vantage
(23:34):
point like I talked about. You want to be able to order
drinks easily, make eye contact with women, have drinks with
your friends. And if you get eye contact,
love, and I call that getting love like she's looking at you.
Don't hesitate. Approach right away.
A really funny line, walk over. I noticed you were checking me
out and I had to stop by and give you a chance to hit on me.
Then she's going to laugh and you can follow up with whatever.
(23:56):
I'll tell you what, I'll hit on you instead.
So if you get eye contact super money, if you don't get eye
contact, you can still use that.She's going to be like, I wasn't
hitting on you and be like, well, whatever, I made it up.
You can walk over with any otherstandard play by play opening
lines. You guys have heard me talk
about or you know you can find those on the site.
Just go chat her up. Usually she's going to be out
with her friends and after the opening line, keep the
(24:19):
conversation playful. Don't ask for any sort of
biographical questions. This is a huge mistake I just
make. I can't emphasize this enough.
Don't ask her biographical questions until she asks you.
That's how you know she likes you.
But if you do it first then you don't know anything.
So when you first walk over, I like to touch easily and early.
(24:40):
Just on the arm, back of the hand, you know nothing sexual.
Stand side by side with her so you can naturally touch her just
like you would touch a friend. No sexual touching is creepy to
keep touching her. If she's not touching you,
remember to give what you're getting.
Keep the investment close to 5050.
If you can't think of anything besides biographical boring
questions, it means you just don't have any practice.
You haven't put enough time and practice in, you haven't
(25:03):
approached enough. And ways you can avoid that is
you can tell stories, you can make observations about your
surroundings, you can talk aboutannoying people in the venue,
the line outside, what people are drinking.
Just don't ask her personal questions until she asks you
first. Make sure to introduce yourself
to her friends. Ask them all how they came to
be. Be normal, be cool.
(25:23):
Don't be the guy who's clearly focused on getting laid and
ignoring everybody else. I'll see you guys walk in, hit
on a girl and just completely ignore their friends.
Especially if there's guys in the group.
This is going to not work. If you walk up and you hit on a
girl and you don't acknowledge the dude that's with her, he's
going to cock block you 99 out of 100 times.
Guys really don't like that. So it's also important to
(25:45):
introduce yourself to the group because you need to find out
logistics. You need to find out if it's
worth investing your time or if you should just try to scoop her
number and leave after a socially acceptable period of
time. You know, if she's sober and
she's the driver of four of her friends and they live 45 minutes
away and you waste 2 hours in a one-on-one with her, great, you
(26:05):
know you may get a date out of that.
But odds are you could have gotten the date anyways after
talking to her for 10 minutes. You could have gotten five other
numbers and that time you blew. And you know, every night you're
out is an investment of your time, your money, those are your
resources. So make the most of it.
If she's not in a situation where the logistics are good and
she's down to party, like if she's clearly drinking and
(26:26):
having fun, her friends don't seem like cock blocks or mother
hens, then continue on. And at this point you want to
isolate her. And you do that by either
inviting the whole group over tothe bar where your group is.
Then you can kind of merge the groups together and that'll get
you someone on one time. Or you could tell the group to
be like, hey, I'm kidnapping herfriend to the bar for a drink,
don't worry I'll deliver the package safely back to you
within 5 minutes. It's a great way to test for
(26:47):
attraction there. If she's not willing to isolate
with you, either she's not into you or she's not candidate to go
home that night. So perfect example, don't waste
more time. Don't sit there talking to her
for 15 minutes before you try toisolate her.
Like try to isolate her as soon as she starts asking you rapport
AKA biographical types of questions.
And if she doesn't ask any rapport seeking biographical
questions within the 1st 5 or 10minutes, she's probably not into
(27:08):
you. There's no way you can.
I mean, sometimes you can banterand be playful for a long enough
time where that doesn't come up,but eventually it will.
And if she doesn't ask you first, just tell her like, hey,
I'm going to go grab a drink. I'll come back and annoy you
later. And at that point you can use
that to build attraction. You know, walking away, leaving
on a high note. She's going to think, well, that
guy was kind of fun, super playful.
Why do you leave? And she's going to start
(27:29):
thinking about you. She might be looking at you, she
might try to reopen you later orif you come back later, odds are
she's going to be more into you and you can kind of restart from
there. And if she's not willing to
leave her friends, like I said, don't be the pushy guy or you're
going to blow yourself out for later on.
You can isolate her, take her toa couple different spots within
the venue. If you're at a place like
Bungalow, you can take her to the back bar.
(27:51):
You can take her to the make outspot.
Touch her as if she's already your girlfriend.
The second I walk away to isolate her, I'll reach back and
I'll kind of like motion for herhand.
That's an awkward way to do it. It'd be more just like I'll just
be walking, you know, I'll be like this and she'll grab it and
and I'll see if she holds on to it.
(28:12):
If she does, she's into it. I'll take her around A lot of
times. I may even just take her to a
different bar if she doesn't take my hand.
That's not the best client, but not a big deal.
She's still willing to go with me.
So I'll be like, you know, show me a good bar in the area or I
got to take you to this place next door.
Don't worry, I'll bring you right back to your friend in,
(28:32):
you know, 10 minutes. If she's willing to leave, then
she doesn't really care about her friends.
Just don't make her responsible for sex, like I said.
And I really want to emphasize the point of not being too
pushy. So Mary, in my story earlier,
she was giving me the green light at all points, but I would
say only one out of about 5 girls who you hit on who are
into you are going to do that. Like not one out of five.
I'm talking about one out of five that you hit on that are
(28:54):
into you. Those are the ideal candidates
for a same night poll. So just assume that you know,
out of the five approaches whereGirls Give me Love seems
interested, only one will be worth investing your entire
night with. It's really awesome to have
quality 5 to 10 minute interactions, get solid phone
numbers, follow via text to set up a date.
And if you guys haven't got the maker want you texting secrets
(29:15):
course or the dating protocol, make sure to grab those from my
site once 47 bucks. The other is free when you join
my mail analyst. You really need to be Privy to
that information if you're goingout and doing this other stuff.
Don't be the thirsty guy who tries to make out and try to
pull every girl you met in an uncalibrated way.
You'll get a bad reputation. Girls are going to remember.
I don't care how big the city is.
(29:35):
Hot girls usually know a lot of other hot girls in the same
city. And these networks are smaller
than you think. They even have Facebook groups
and online forums and databases of guys who are creeps.
So don't do anything that will make you look like a total ass,
you know, Be flirty, be fun to gold, have fun while you're out.
And also it's great to put girlsin the friend zone, befriend
hawk girls and use them as leverage while going out later
(29:55):
down the road. All right, that wraps up the
first half of night game. Now you know how to work a bar
like a pro, how to approach, isolate and move things forward
without being weird to try hard.This is the foundation.
And if you're getting results, just stop this.
You're already ahead of about 95% of the guys out there.
But we're just getting started. In the next episode, I'm diving
deep into club game, how to run tables, master non verbal
(30:17):
attraction, deal with promoters,pull from after parties and
build your nightlife network at a high level.
So if you want to take what you just learned and apply it to the
wildest, loudest, highest leverage venues on the planet,
make sure you don't miss the next episode.
Out of all the guys I know, the only ones who managed to
consistently win the game are those who built and invested in
a high status social circle. You can certainly approach women
(30:38):
and try your luck on the apps ifyou're a Chad, but those
strategies simply don't work consistently to attract top tier
women and awesome friends in your life.
But for most guys, the idea of building a social circle can
feel overwhelming. So they continue to hunt for
women in their usual ways and end up settling for a girl they
we're never really that excited about in the 1st place.
To avoid this fate, join our community and instantly plug
into a highly vetted social circle of cool dudes to network
(31:01):
and navigate your journey with. You already know it's hard to
find wing men because the good ones don't stay in the game very
long. Many of our members travel
together, end up living together, build amazing circles
and even businesses together both in the West and in many of
the best locations around the globe.
With gorgeous women and low costof living, I'm extremely careful
who I let into this community, but if you feel like you'd make
a good fit, you can apply to join the links in the
(31:22):
description.
Most guys go out hoping to get lucky.
They hit a bar, they buy a drink, they stand around
awkwardly and wonder why nothingever happens.
But if you know what you're doing, the right places to
stand, the right things to say, the right way to move, a bar
becomes one of the easiest places to meet women.
In this episode, I'm going to show you how to run bar game
like a system from your first lap around the venue to
isolating her and setting up forthe pull if you want to bring
(00:23):
her home that night. There's a lot of girls that go
out that are into that. I'll breakdown the exact
mistakes most guys make, how to fix some, how to approach in a
way that's playful, confident, and not creepy.
Whether you're hitting up a divebar, a cocktail lounge, or
something in between, this episode is going to give you a
full playbook. Plus the exact bar game protocol
I teach inside the IC community.So let's get into it.
(00:45):
You're listening to the Inner Confidence podcast.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
helped countless men rapidly achieve all of their social and
dating goals. My mission is simple, to help
you position yourself to meet stunning women, make awesome
friends in route to becoming themost confident and attractive
version you can possibly be. I'm absolutely obsessed with
(01:05):
giving you the most leverage ways possible to win the game to
stick around. Let's go.
We're going to talk everything related to meeting women in
social situations. And the vast majority of these
situations occur at night, whichis why most people refer to it
as night game. And by social situations, I mean
any venue or event where it's socially acceptable and
(01:27):
encouraged to talk to strangers.So real quick, our sponsor, New
Brew. I'm getting cottonmouth here.
So I'm going to have some of this.
This is some of my favorite cocktails though.
There's no alcohol. It's euphoric seltzer.
It's got kratom leaf and Kava root.
So you feel good and you don't feel the hangover.
(01:50):
So in the last episode we covered day game, which is
basically the term that the dating community uses to
describe meeting women and non social environments like coffee
shops, subway, public transportation, walking down the
street, etcetera. Before we dive deeper into clubs
and bars, let's talk about something that confuses a lot of
guys and that's festivals and concerts.
(02:11):
Are they night game? Are they day game?
Well, it depends. Festivals like Coachella or
Burning Man are essentially justmassive outdoor bars.
There's music, there's movement,there's social hubs and chill
spaces where verbal game thrives.
These are bar style environmentswhere it's encouraged to
socialize and socially acceptable to talk to strangers.
On the flip side, concerts, especially loud EDM shows or
(02:33):
packed arenas, are more like clubs.
The music's too loud to talk andyour game becomes entirely non
verbal. It's eye contact, proximity,
touch, vibe. So here's the rule.
If you can talk, it's bar game. If you can't hear each other,
it's club game. If you can talk but it's not
socially acceptable to approach,it's day game.
The simple distinction tells youwhich tools to use and what kind
(02:55):
of game to run. So let's get into bar stuff
first. You know your run-of-the-mill
going out Thursday, Friday, Saturday night to meet women at
the bars. So first, let's talk the five
big mistakes First. Big mistake number one.
Most guys you'll see out at the bars, they'll walk in, they'll
get a drink, and they'll creepily stand on the side of
the dance floor scoping out chicks.
(03:15):
Big no, no, they'll hesitate to approach.
They'll wait until it's too late, AKA wait until they're
drunk because they're waiting for liquid courage to kick in.
Another big mistake guys make isthey try to have logical
conversations that bore the crapout of girls bombing her with
interview style questions like Walter Cronkite and failing to
make any sort of fun physical connection or banter.
(03:37):
Try having a logical conversation in a bar, club, or
party environment. It's just boring and it sucks.
Guys will offer to buy drinks and the second they meet a woman
it's in an effort to just kind of buy her time.
And this is never the reason to buy a girl a drink.
You buy her a drink after you have some attraction for her,
you've connected with her, and it's time to get one for
yourself anyways. And you're drinking anyways, so
(03:58):
you're gonna buy our one too. Not positioning yourself
properly to establish a physicalconnection?
That's a big mistake. Guys will walk in, they'll be
talking to a girl, they'll be standing a little bit too far
from her to make it easy for touch to happen.
If a girl likes you, she's goingto touch you on the arm, she's
going to laugh at your jokes, and she's going to be
comfortable kind of exposing hertorso to you if she's talking to
you like this, so you know she'sprobably not a deal.
(04:20):
Some guys are comfortable touching women right away,
others don't touch at all until the woman does that.
Either way works, but you must be positioned incorrectly for
either to happen. Failing to isolate, which is the
only way you can pull her that night.
Big mistake. Spending too much time talking
to girls and their friends. Not enough time one-on-one.
The last mistake is failing to shift in conversation, spending
(04:41):
the whole time either just joking or goofing around when
it's clear that it's time to shift into a more getting to
know her vibe or going way too quickly into the getting to know
her vibe. Both are mistakes.
So next I want to talk first about venues and a couple key
points things to be aware of forthose of you who have partied
(05:02):
with me in LA or spent time withme.
You've certainly experienced these two places.
My two favorite bars in LA are The Bungalow in Santa Monica and
Laurel Hardware in West Hollywood.
And what makes them awesome is they have multiple spots within
them that allow for awesome gameto be run, fun to be had.
They've got outside patios, they've got booths, they've got
(05:24):
little nooks and loungy cranniesand laid back types of parts of
the bar. They usually have music that's
loud enough to create a fun environment, but it's not so
loud that you can't hold a conversation with a small group
of people. You can also eat dinner at both
these places and the vibe changes from like a dinner vibe
to more of a fun party vibe. Between 10:00 and 11:00 PM, if
you have a table of four, you guys can all hear each other
(05:47):
pretty well. This is the optimal venue for
both meeting women and creating enough of the connection to try
and polar that night. So you should find the bars in
your area that are similar to these examples because odds are
the people that you want to meetare already going there.
And my favorite part about meeting women at these sorts of
bars is there's always a chance to score the same night.
And there's a lot of women that are going out hoping for that to
(06:07):
happen too. I love these places.
Conversation skills went out at the end of the day, if you have
solid conversation skills, whichis for me anyways, the biggest
part of my game that I've been working on since day one, since
2005, married now, so not so much anymore.
And now I'm now I'm kind of boring, but I do really well in
these environments. And if you're not, you know, if
you don't have a huge crew of hot girls to roll with, if
(06:29):
you're not a tall, really attractive guy, conversation
skills are the great equalizer. So you can do a lot more damage
in a place like this if you're lacking in some of the other
areas. Another example I want to
mention is a dive bar, a sports bar.
You know, dive bars or sports bars don't present all the
(06:49):
options that a place like Bungalow does with multiple bars
and nooks and crannies. There's no spots to venue
change, just a long bar. There's typically no pool tables
or anything. Well, maybe a sports bar, but
I'm talking a dive bar. Now people just stand there,
they sit at the bar and they drink and maybe they have some
fun little games like pool or darts, which are great too, but
they don't really have a loungy vibe.
(07:10):
They have more of a let's get fucked up and drink vibe and
let's watch the game vibe. And typically if I meet a woman
in a place like this, there's not a lot of room to venue
change within the venue like youcan a bungalow or Laurel.
But the good thing about dive bars is the women you find there
are typically more down to partythat night.
You're not going to bump into the entitled women with
expensive taste because they would never be caught dead in a
dive bar or sports bar like that.
(07:32):
Like my wife, she hates those places.
I can't even get her to go there.
So if I meet a chick at a not saying she's entitled, but
she's, you know, she's not gonnashe's she's Ukrainian.
She's like, I will, I will go tothis crap.
So if I meet a chick at a standard bar, I will focus on
moving her out of that bar as soon as I can.
Most places in New York are smaller.
So if you're there, that's, you know, that's gonna be more of
(07:54):
the type of place in this kind of description or smaller bars
in little cities, the kind of like strip of bars in
Scottsdale, for example, are huge.
And those are synonymous with a place like the Bungalow or Laura
Hardware. Later on the episode, I'm gonna
give you a model for taking girls home from bars.
Let's define what clubs are for the purpose of running optimal
game. Clubs are a ton of fun if you're
(08:15):
willing to throw down for bottleservice and you're in a major
market like LA, Vegas, Miami, New York City, Paris, London,
Milan if you're in a Dubai. If you're in a smaller city that
doesn't have a modeling industry, you're probably better
off avoiding most clubs because they're lame.
How to operate in unless you're really tall good looking Chad.
The clubs I'm talking about are designed specifically for bottle
service. If you walk into a place like
(08:36):
Grass Putin in LA or in Paris, you know there's a small bar at
the front. No one cool is ever at the bar.
Everyone is at their table and the tables take up 90% of the
venue because that's where the party is happening.
But in a majority of the US cities, you can go to a club
without buying a table. These places are like big bars.
They're loud. You'll, you know, have a dance
(08:58):
floor. You'll typically see a big
groups of girls in Bachelorette parties and big groups of guys.
The San Diego Gaslamp Quarter islittered with these places.
I think they suck and they're ghetto and they're very hard to
operate out of because you can'trun verbal game and girls come
in big groups making it harder to isolate and pull.
So for the purpose of this conversation, consider anything
that's not a pure bar and not a pure bottle service club a
(09:20):
hybrid. And the reason why these kinds
of hybrid models exist in smaller markets is because they
don't have big enough spenders to support a bottle service only
venue. And in the city like New York or
Paris, you have enough guys, youhave enough promoters, you have
a fashion entertainment modelling industry where you can
have a place that's going to be a minimum of a couple $1000 per
table. But there's not a lot of guys
(09:41):
who can afford that in a night out in a place like Scottsdale,
even though there's a lot of money there, it just doesn't
have a big enough market. So the best way to utilize these
clubs that I'm talking about in his major metropolitans and
cities is to bring hot girls with you, have a table, throw a
party, leverage that situation to meet even more cute girls.
So we've defined the venues. Now we're going to talk about
(10:02):
how to operate and run optimal game in each.
So when you walk into a bar, dive bar, even a club 2, take a
lap, scope out the place. Look for places where you can
isolate, like back areas, placesto sit.
I use the bungalow as a great example.
Here's a video of the layout of that.
You know, when you walk into thebungalow, the first thing you
(10:23):
see is a ping pong table. Obviously there's a little bit
stuff happening before there where the line is and whatnot.
But you know, there's a ping pong table, people are playing
ping pong, maybe beer bong, maybe they don't allow beer pong
anymore there. But then you walk in into like
the main outdoor area where there's a bunch of tables and
there's a DJ and there's like where all the, the the party's
(10:45):
happening. That's kind of the outdoor area.
And then there's also a bar in the back of that outdoor area.
Then when you walk to the right,inside there's another room
that's almost the same size as that giant outdoor area.
Well, 2 rooms ones got a bunch of couches.
There's a big bar in there. There's another room with a bar
and more seating. It's a little bit more loungey.
(11:05):
You can hear, you can talk, there's music, but it's not as
loud obviously. And then if you walk even
further back, there's a hidden area that a lot of people don't
even know about. There's a fire pit back there.
There's a small little bar that services the area.
There's a long table that you can order food at.
There's a make out spot behind aBush.
There's a billiards room. And that kind of make out spot
(11:27):
is really cool. It's just like basically
designed as a make out spot. So if you know your way around a
bar like this, there's so many opportunities to move girls
around, change the energy, isolate, escalate things
physically. And if you're going out with the
intention of pulling, you need to know those things.
So do your homework. It's great to go to bars and get
(11:50):
to know the staff, get to know the door guys, bartenders.
I always learn the bouncer's name.
I write it down in a note on my phone.
Anytime a bartender serves me, Ishake his hand, her hand.
I get his or her name. I write that down in a note with
the description of what they look like.
If it's a slow time, I'll shoot the shit with them for a little
bit. I'll try to make quick
connections so they remember my face.
If it's busy, I'm not going to waste their time.
(12:13):
But the next time I see them, I'll address them by their first
name. I'll shake their hand.
I'll say, hey, Andrew, how's it going?
Good to see you again. And you know, I'll establish
that I'm, I'm cool, I'm on a first name basis and I can't
tell you how many times I've been able to skip the lines and
get free drinks just for being cool and remembering peoples
names. Body language wise, whenever
you're in a venue regardless, take up space.
(12:34):
Find the best real estate. Don't go sharking around the
venue like a predator looking for prey.
Be relaxed. Don't try to look all alpha and
tough and Mad Dog in people. Also, don't be meek and worried
or scared. For guys that haven't spent a
lot of time at the bars, you know it's going to be a new
experience. It was funny when I was out with
my little brother, you know, wayback in the day when he was 18,
we stuck him into a bar and he was like, hey, can you order for
(12:55):
me? I don't know what to do and I
forget that I used to experiencethat too.
Like when I was first turned 21 and I started going to bars.
The thought of just like ordering a drink or finding a
place to sit or stand at the barwas a little bit intimidating.
So by spending some time at these places and getting
comfortable in that situation, your body language and vibe will
(13:16):
kind of improve unconsciously over time.
Now I'm going to give you a formula for pulling women from
the bars to your bedroom after party.
And even if you don't pull, it'sthe best way to make the most
connections as possible to maximize your evening if the
intention is to meet women. So it's a template you can
follow to optimize your time in a bar.
I want to tell you a quick storythat illustrates it.
(13:39):
So I was out in London and I wasout with two clients and I had
one other client who was back atthe hotel room.
We didn't want to come out because he was being a, a fuddy
Duddy. We weren't doing any specific
infield coaching that night. We were just partying together.
It was kind of like the last night.
We got a good recommendation of a bar in Piccadilly Circus that
(13:59):
attracts a lot of tourists. It's a tourist part of town.
So we went in this place, me andthese two guys, we took a quick
lap. We assessed the venue.
We looked for the cool little spots.
We found the best little corner of the bar area, kind of between
like the bar and the bathroom. It wasn't anything super cool
like the bungalow, just a normalbar with a couple extra rooms,
more of a chill vibe. We posted up and grabbed some
(14:21):
drinks and it's important to find a spot where you can make
eye contact with girls 'cause it's the easiest way to open,
one of the only ways to open really.
I mean, obviously you can just walk up and say your shot, shoot
your shot, but like get the eye contact first.
It's so much more powerful and you can get a little eye contact
that goes a long way. So I noticed a girl checking me
out pretty close, like right away.
(14:41):
And the first time I caught her looking at me, she looked away
really fast, didn't have a chance to even show any sort of
expression. And then, you know, 30 seconds
later, I looked over again and Icaught her checking me out again
quickly. She looked away like she was
obviously nervous. And then again she did it.
And this time I gave her a little wink and a smile like
gotcha. I think the best way to make eye
(15:02):
contact is to hold your gaze a second too long and then do a
head nod, a smile wink to acknowledge the connection.
Like you're looking at it as a. You can also go more over the
top and point at her or something, you know, like face,
like I caught her like, like, you know, Kyle, you checking me
out. You want to do something to
establish the fact that you guyshad this brief eye contact
(15:26):
connection. So like, you know, she knows
that you know, for guys who are uncomfortable with eye contact,
like when she, you know, catchesyou like you're looking at girl
and she looks at you and you feel the need to avert your gaze
and dart your eyes away. That's a huge turn out to girls.
They'll immediately disqualify you as a sexual option.
So get comfortable making eye contact.
(15:46):
You'll have to practice this. Holding eye contact with people
makes a big difference, and you have no chance succeeding
without it. No chance.
So what happened? Like I said, each time, you
know, eventually I gave her thatlittle slice Merk like sort of
like a wink, and she turned bright red, totally blushed.
And that point I walked right over to her.
She was with a girlfriend and another guy and I had no idea,
(16:09):
you know, I just literally saw them a minute ago.
So I walked right over and kind of like sidled up next to her
side and her friend was engaged with the guy and I got pretty
close to her, like kind of in her personal space, but side by
side. And I said, hey, I'm Robbie.
I extended my hand and while shaking her hand while she was
telling her me her name, which is Mary.
I didn't I didn't let her hand go.
(16:30):
I just kind of like continue to lightly holding it.
And after about 10 seconds, which is a long time to be
holding a stranger's hand, I kind of said to her, I'm like,
so do you know how I know that you have a crush on me?
She goes, why? I said, well, you're still
holding my hand. She laughed and got embarrassed.
And I tried to pull it away for a second, but I was like, no,
(16:51):
come on. We're we're boyfriend girlfriend
now. Do you want to be my girlfriend?
Can we be exclusive? I kind of went into some of
those silly lines that I talk about in the marriage role play,
which is in the online dating database.
If you listen to this podcast, then you have heard me mention
that. If not, shoot me a comment and
I'll link you that, you know, that whole kind of boyfriend,
girlfriend, married couple role play.
(17:12):
And I think I followed up with like, wait, you know, before
we're exclusive, like you can cook, right?
Because you know, I need to datesomeone who can cook.
And I'm not just talking about the microwave.
We got into one of these kind ofback and forth, bantry, silly
fun conversations. Then it's really important that
you have fun and you're playful and you're flirty rather going
straight off the bat with who are you from, what do you do or
(17:32):
bullshit like that. Biographical conversations at
that point in the conversation are way too soon.
They're going to blow you out. So after about a minute of this
banter, so I asked the group, you know, I turned to her
friends and the guy and I'm like, so how did you guys all
come to be? Which is a line that basically
just creative way of saying how do you guys all know each other?
It's just colorful language makes you sound more
(17:52):
interesting. She told me that she and the
girlfriend had been friends for many years and that the guy was
just kind of a well, she didn't say that, but she's like, Oh
yeah. And we just met this guy.
He was obviously just a dude that was hitting on her friend
walked over like 5 minutes ago. And this guy had terrible body
language. He was really feminine, I could
tell he had no shot whatsoever with a friend, but I was cool
(18:13):
with him. I wasn't like trying to get rid
of him or anything like that, even though they were totally
averting their attention to me. So that guy coolly left within a
minute or two when he saw he hadno shot.
And at that .1 of my clients came over to play wing man with
the other girl, which was great.And the other client who was
also very well coached if I don't say so myself.
He didn't come because you wouldn't want to create a fifth
(18:33):
wheel situation. He went and started talking to
other girls, which was, you know, perfect.
So I ordered us around his shotsat the bar.
After about 10 minutes I suggested we go to another venue
and since we were new to the area, I asked my girl.
I'm like all right, why don't you be our tour guide, show us
another good spot. And they took us to a loungey
wine bar which is about a 5 minute walk away.
(18:55):
And as we were leaving, I was holding her hand.
And I held her hand the entire way to the next venue.
But I was careful not to over invest or get needy.
It was more like she was holdingmy hand versus me holding her
hand, if that even makes sense. She was kind of like snuggling
up next to me as we were walking, like holding on to my
arm a little bit, leaning on me,interlacing her fingers with
mine. I knew it was totally game on.
(19:17):
So the five of us, because I, you know, grabbed the other guy,
we went to the other place and we got there.
I bought us a round of drinks. I noticed that my client was
getting a little bit of love from Mary's girlfriend.
The other guy went to talk to other people again and I knew it
was time to isolate Mary. I was like, hey, me and Mary are
going to grab a place to say it.Can you guys, you know, grab
(19:38):
drinks over there, which is something you can do if you want
to isolate and you can have yourbuddy get a drink and have him
asked the other girl to help himwith it, which is kind of a
nifty way to get the girl solo. So I found a booth, we sat down,
she was all over me right away. We were making out like crazy,
but I didn't want to make out too hardcore and put her on the
spot. Like I said, I knew she was
ready to be kissed. She was, you know, holding my
(20:00):
hand, giving me tons of eye contact, laughing at all my
jokes, acting as if she was already my girlfriend.
My client did the right thing bynot coming over with her
girlfriend and he allowed me to maintain our one-on-one time.
This also worked 'cause she liked him.
They were just kind of sitting at the bar and Mary started
asking me personal questions at that point.
And it's really important that you let the girl ask questions
(20:21):
to you first 'cause if she seeksrapport, if she gets, you know,
the one to be initially asking things about you, it means she's
interested. And that's what happened here.
So we went back and forth. I told her some stories.
I did some mentor game. I think she was talking about
starting a business and I, you know, had some experience in
that. I'm not going to get too much in
the conversation stuff in this podcast.
That's what the intercom community is for.
(20:42):
We really teach all these skills, really important that
you know how to to be a dynamic conversationalist, how to create
an emotional roller coaster in your conversation so they don't
become boring and logical and stale.
But that went on for another 30 minutes or so.
Eventually we went back over thebar to check on my friend and
her friend, and at that point hehad kind of like blown himself
(21:02):
out with this girl. He wasn't getting any love from
her. So I told him to go find the
other guy. And I told Mary that I was
gonna, and I told them first I was gonna try to take my girl
out of there. So I kind of whispered to Mary.
I was like, hey, I want more tour guide duty and I want to go
just you and me. And she was totally into that.
So she goes, well, hold on, let's walk my friend to the bus
(21:23):
station because she lives 45 minutes out of the city.
And, you know, so we left the bar.
The three of us who walked about10 minutes away to the station
sent her friend on her way. And it was actually perfect that
she was kind of saying goodbye to her friend because like an
idiot, I forgot to bring condomsout.
So I needed to sneak in a littlekiosk, little, you know, mini
market and grab some without hernoticing.
(21:45):
So she said goodbye to her friend.
I ducked in the store then she was hungry.
Luckily there was, you know, a couple St. kebabs that we
grabbed and and then I said, allright, next stop threw in a
taxi. I gave the cabbie the address,
which was the Green Park Marriott, which was obviously my
hotel I was staying at. She was like, where we going?
We going to your hotel? And I said, don't worry, I'll be
(22:07):
like an 86% gentleman and we've got shisha.
We're gonna smoke hookah back inmy hotel.
She's like, okay, I love hookah and it's important to use a
proxy like hookah or something else to make her not feel
responsible for sex. If I say we're going back to my
hotel, she probably would have been like, no, I can, I just met
you. You know, if I just said that it
(22:27):
would have been this whole bullshit conversation about how
she's not going to sleep with me.
But if I say it's just hookah and it's no big deal because
he's not going to feel like a slut, even if I didn't have the
hookah, I still could have said that we're just going to go back
and smoke shisha. Then we get back.
She's like, where's the shisha? Oh yeah, sorry, I lied.
So we get back to the hotel and the ride back from the hotel,
we're just kind of make it out in the cab, joking, flirting
around. But one of my clients was
(22:49):
sharing a room with me that I mentioned, and unfortunately, he
was already asleep in the king bed.
It was pretty late at the time, almost 4:00 AM, and I didn't
have the nerve to kick him out of bed because he had like a
7:00 AM flight even though he said I could if I pulled a girl
back. But I'm a nice guy so luckily
there was a big bathroom. I brought a bunch of linens and
pillows into the bathroom, created a little sit down area,
fired up the hookah, had a couple puffs on the hookah, and
(23:12):
then we hooked up in the bathroom and unfortunately she
didn't want to like spend the night and cuddle on the floor of
the bathroom so she went home. Let's go over the nitty gritty
of this formula real quick. I'm gonna give you guys an idea
of everything that I went through.
So First off, when you get to the bar, take a quick lap, find
the best place to post up. You want to have a good vantage
(23:34):
point like I talked about. You want to be able to order
drinks easily, make eye contact with women, have drinks with
your friends. And if you get eye contact,
love, and I call that getting love like she's looking at you.
Don't hesitate. Approach right away.
A really funny line, walk over. I noticed you were checking me
out and I had to stop by and give you a chance to hit on me.
Then she's going to laugh and you can follow up with whatever.
(23:56):
I'll tell you what, I'll hit on you instead.
So if you get eye contact super money, if you don't get eye
contact, you can still use that.She's going to be like, I wasn't
hitting on you and be like, well, whatever, I made it up.
You can walk over with any otherstandard play by play opening
lines. You guys have heard me talk
about or you know you can find those on the site.
Just go chat her up. Usually she's going to be out
with her friends and after the opening line, keep the
(24:19):
conversation playful. Don't ask for any sort of
biographical questions. This is a huge mistake I just
make. I can't emphasize this enough.
Don't ask her biographical questions until she asks you.
That's how you know she likes you.
But if you do it first then you don't know anything.
So when you first walk over, I like to touch easily and early.
(24:40):
Just on the arm, back of the hand, you know nothing sexual.
Stand side by side with her so you can naturally touch her just
like you would touch a friend. No sexual touching is creepy to
keep touching her. If she's not touching you,
remember to give what you're getting.
Keep the investment close to 5050.
If you can't think of anything besides biographical boring
questions, it means you just don't have any practice.
You haven't put enough time and practice in, you haven't
(25:03):
approached enough. And ways you can avoid that is
you can tell stories, you can make observations about your
surroundings, you can talk aboutannoying people in the venue,
the line outside, what people are drinking.
Just don't ask her personal questions until she asks you
first. Make sure to introduce yourself
to her friends. Ask them all how they came to
be. Be normal, be cool.
(25:23):
Don't be the guy who's clearly focused on getting laid and
ignoring everybody else. I'll see you guys walk in, hit
on a girl and just completely ignore their friends.
Especially if there's guys in the group.
This is going to not work. If you walk up and you hit on a
girl and you don't acknowledge the dude that's with her, he's
going to cock block you 99 out of 100 times.
Guys really don't like that. So it's also important to
(25:45):
introduce yourself to the group because you need to find out
logistics. You need to find out if it's
worth investing your time or if you should just try to scoop her
number and leave after a socially acceptable period of
time. You know, if she's sober and
she's the driver of four of her friends and they live 45 minutes
away and you waste 2 hours in a one-on-one with her, great, you
(26:05):
know you may get a date out of that.
But odds are you could have gotten the date anyways after
talking to her for 10 minutes. You could have gotten five other
numbers and that time you blew. And you know, every night you're
out is an investment of your time, your money, those are your
resources. So make the most of it.
If she's not in a situation where the logistics are good and
she's down to party, like if she's clearly drinking and
(26:26):
having fun, her friends don't seem like cock blocks or mother
hens, then continue on. And at this point you want to
isolate her. And you do that by either
inviting the whole group over tothe bar where your group is.
Then you can kind of merge the groups together and that'll get
you someone on one time. Or you could tell the group to
be like, hey, I'm kidnapping herfriend to the bar for a drink,
don't worry I'll deliver the package safely back to you
within 5 minutes. It's a great way to test for
(26:47):
attraction there. If she's not willing to isolate
with you, either she's not into you or she's not candidate to go
home that night. So perfect example, don't waste
more time. Don't sit there talking to her
for 15 minutes before you try toisolate her.
Like try to isolate her as soon as she starts asking you rapport
AKA biographical types of questions.
And if she doesn't ask any rapport seeking biographical
questions within the 1st 5 or 10minutes, she's probably not into
(27:08):
you. There's no way you can.
I mean, sometimes you can banterand be playful for a long enough
time where that doesn't come up,but eventually it will.
And if she doesn't ask you first, just tell her like, hey,
I'm going to go grab a drink. I'll come back and annoy you
later. And at that point you can use
that to build attraction. You know, walking away, leaving
on a high note. She's going to think, well, that
guy was kind of fun, super playful.
Why do you leave? And she's going to start
(27:29):
thinking about you. She might be looking at you, she
might try to reopen you later orif you come back later, odds are
she's going to be more into you and you can kind of restart from
there. And if she's not willing to
leave her friends, like I said, don't be the pushy guy or you're
going to blow yourself out for later on.
You can isolate her, take her toa couple different spots within
the venue. If you're at a place like
Bungalow, you can take her to the back bar.
(27:51):
You can take her to the make outspot.
Touch her as if she's already your girlfriend.
The second I walk away to isolate her, I'll reach back and
I'll kind of like motion for herhand.
That's an awkward way to do it. It'd be more just like I'll just
be walking, you know, I'll be like this and she'll grab it and
and I'll see if she holds on to it.
(28:12):
If she does, she's into it. I'll take her around A lot of
times. I may even just take her to a
different bar if she doesn't take my hand.
That's not the best client, but not a big deal.
She's still willing to go with me.
So I'll be like, you know, show me a good bar in the area or I
got to take you to this place next door.
Don't worry, I'll bring you right back to your friend in,
(28:32):
you know, 10 minutes. If she's willing to leave, then
she doesn't really care about her friends.
Just don't make her responsible for sex, like I said.
And I really want to emphasize the point of not being too
pushy. So Mary, in my story earlier,
she was giving me the green light at all points, but I would
say only one out of about 5 girls who you hit on who are
into you are going to do that. Like not one out of five.
I'm talking about one out of five that you hit on that are
(28:54):
into you. Those are the ideal candidates
for a same night poll. So just assume that you know,
out of the five approaches whereGirls Give me Love seems
interested, only one will be worth investing your entire
night with. It's really awesome to have
quality 5 to 10 minute interactions, get solid phone
numbers, follow via text to set up a date.
And if you guys haven't got the maker want you texting secrets
(29:15):
course or the dating protocol, make sure to grab those from my
site once 47 bucks. The other is free when you join
my mail analyst. You really need to be Privy to
that information if you're goingout and doing this other stuff.
Don't be the thirsty guy who tries to make out and try to
pull every girl you met in an uncalibrated way.
You'll get a bad reputation. Girls are going to remember.
I don't care how big the city is.
(29:35):
Hot girls usually know a lot of other hot girls in the same
city. And these networks are smaller
than you think. They even have Facebook groups
and online forums and databases of guys who are creeps.
So don't do anything that will make you look like a total ass,
you know, Be flirty, be fun to gold, have fun while you're out.
And also it's great to put girlsin the friend zone, befriend
hawk girls and use them as leverage while going out later
(29:55):
down the road. All right, that wraps up the
first half of night game. Now you know how to work a bar
like a pro, how to approach, isolate and move things forward
without being weird to try hard.This is the foundation.
And if you're getting results, just stop this.
You're already ahead of about 95% of the guys out there.
But we're just getting started. In the next episode, I'm diving
deep into club game, how to run tables, master non verbal
(30:17):
attraction, deal with promoters,pull from after parties and
build your nightlife network at a high level.
So if you want to take what you just learned and apply it to the
wildest, loudest, highest leverage venues on the planet,
make sure you don't miss the next episode.
Out of all the guys I know, the only ones who managed to
consistently win the game are those who built and invested in
a high status social circle. You can certainly approach women
(30:38):
and try your luck on the apps ifyou're a Chad, but those
strategies simply don't work consistently to attract top tier
women and awesome friends in your life.
But for most guys, the idea of building a social circle can
feel overwhelming. So they continue to hunt for
women in their usual ways and end up settling for a girl they
we're never really that excited about in the 1st place.
To avoid this fate, join our community and instantly plug
into a highly vetted social circle of cool dudes to network
(31:01):
and navigate your journey with. You already know it's hard to
find wing men because the good ones don't stay in the game very
long. Many of our members travel
together, end up living together, build amazing circles
and even businesses together both in the West and in many of
the best locations around the globe.
With gorgeous women and low costof living, I'm extremely careful
who I let into this community, but if you feel like you'd make
a good fit, you can apply to join the links in the
(31:22):
description.
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