December 6, 2024 • 24 mins
Links:
Magic Mind: https://magicmind.com/innerconfidence20
Robbie's Texting Course: https://www.innerconfidence.com/texting
Free Download of The Dating Protocol: https://www.innerconfidence.com/newsl...
Apply For The IC Community: https://www.innerconfidence.com/commu...
TImestamps:
03:46 Men lacking confidence struggle with casual dating.
09:04 Optimize texting for better date conversions.
10:04 Top women prefer men within social circles.
15:39 Lockdown increases desire; mentorship strengthens connections.
18:58 Deflecting questions about other romantic partners.
20:09 Notice changes when she desires more commitment.
22:44 Tailored path; build abundance, confidence, level up.
And if you're interested in learning more about my coaching services and connecting with me, check out these links:
Main Site: https://innerconfidence.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Have you ever wanted to enjoy the fun and excitement of casual
dating without the drama or hurting someones feelings?
Or maybe you've struggled to maintain that casual vibe
without leading someone on or having things get serious too
fast. Well, if that's you, you'll want
to tune into this week's episode.
We're going to explore how you can keep the spark alive in
casual relationships while beinghonest and respectful about your
intentions. I'm going to share effective
(00:21):
strategies on how to communicateclearly, manage expectations,
ensuring both you and the women you date can enjoy the
experience without misunderstandings.
This episode is perfect for guyswho want to meet awesome girls
and enjoy the dating scene to the fullest without resorting to
manipulation. You're listening to the Inner
Confidence podcast, home to the Social Funnel Method.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
(00:45):
helped over 1300 digital nomads,expats and remote workers build
an amazing social and dating life abroad.
My mission is simple. To help you position.
Yourself to meet stunning women and make awesome friends in
route to becoming the most confident and attractive version
you can be. I have an intense hatred for
fluff and useless advice that you can't take action on, so
tune in each week to learn the most effective and implementable
(01:07):
strategies to level up your game.
So stick around. Let's go.
So earlier today, one of my moreadvanced members in the inner
confidence community brought up a situation during our upper
belt call. He told me about a girl he'd
been seeing for about four months when things started to
shift. She wanted to know where things
were going, and it was clear shewasn't super happy with the
current state of their relationship.
(01:28):
They were hanging out about oncea week, texting a little in
between. And of course those meet UPS
always involved intimacy. But lately when they met, she
was more aloof and she didn't want to have sex.
I explained that this happens a lot in casual relationships.
She was likely developing stronger feelings of attachment,
but she could sense that he wasn't on the same page.
And this vibe made her start kind of searching for answers,
(01:50):
testing the waters and it reallykind of ask and look to see how
invested he was. And to protect herself
emotionally, she started pullingaway sexually.
And I mean, here's the truth, when this happens, the best move
is to let her go. At that point, the relationship
isn't a good fit anymore. Continuing to pursue her
casually would feel manipulativebecause her needs are shifting
(02:11):
towards something deeper. And really, any attempt to hold
on to that dynamic would only lead to guilt down the road for
him, confusion for her. And interestingly, another guy
on the call was going through the same situation with the girl
he'd been seeing for a few months.
And when we looked a little bit closer, both women had a few
things in common. They were both in the late 20s,
starting to feel the pressure oftheir biological clock and the
(02:33):
need to find a partner to build a family with.
And this naturally led to a bigger discussion about the
morality of building a rotation of women.
Is it ethical for men to date multiple people at the same
time? Should this even be a goal?
Well, if you ask the average guyin the street, most would
probably say no while secretly being like, Oh no, actually I
want that. Of course, women would also say
(02:54):
no. But let's take a closer look at
how the dating market actually works.
Attractive women have an overwhelming number of options
coming their way through the dating apps, social media, their
social circles, and even random guys approaching them in real
life. They've got a filtering problem.
Their dating strategy is typically to entertain a variety
of conversations and interactions.
(03:16):
Sometimes they'll sleep with theguy to test compatibility,
sometimes they'll have casual sex because they're horny, and
sometimes they'll just enjoy theattention or a nice date without
any intention of seeing the guy again.
From a man's perspective, you might meet her in the produce
section of the grocery store on Hinge, maybe at your synagogue.
You don't know what she's looking for until you start
(03:36):
connecting, though. For the confident man who knows
what he wants, this isn't a problem.
If he's looking for adventure and variety, he focuses on
casual dating and those novel experiences.
For a lot of guys in their 20s and 30s, this is a typical path
until they feel ready for something more meaningful like a
family or a long term commitment.
But what about the men who lack that inner confidence?
(03:56):
Maybe they're recently divorced,out of touch with the dating
scene. Maybe they've been in a long
term toxic relationship or multiple long term toxic
relationships and they've never had the chance to explore and
enjoy casual dating. Is it wrong for them to build a
rotation of women and experiencewhat it feels like to be desired
by many? Well, here's the reality.
Women are already doing this covertly.
(04:18):
They don't brag to their buddiesabout all the guys they are
hooking up with. Maybe behind closed doors or
insects in the city they do. But you know this behavior is
celebrated. Society sees empowered women,
but men who do the same are labeled as pigs or players.
And I feel that's kind of an unfair double standard.
The truth is, neither side should benefit by deceiving the
other. But men who lack confidence need
(04:40):
a way to level up, to become more attractive, more
interesting, more worldly. And this involves making
themselves better, looking through fitness and style.
Some people call that looks maxing, and also developing
their financial situation, becoming more masculine.
But leveling up isn't just aboutimproving yourself as a product.
It's about learning to market that product, and that means
(05:02):
getting better at flirting, conversation, connection, and
all the ways you would actually go about meeting a woman and,
you know, becoming a more consistent figure in her life.
And what's the best way to learnall that?
Well, direct exposure. It's kind of the only way to
learn it. You got to go on lots of dates.
You got to put yourself out there.
You got to let yourself be vulnerable.
The point is this, there's nothing wrong with a man wanting
(05:24):
to explore his options, build his confidence, and figure out
what he truly wants, just as long as he's honest with the
women in his life. Some women want casual
relationships somewhat long termcommitment.
Both are valid, and my job has helped men build the confidence
to choose from a place of abundance, not fierce scarcity.
So what does this mean for you as a man navigating the dating
world? The first step is being honest
(05:46):
with yourself about what you want, whether it's adventure and
variety or something deeper. But here's the thing, no matter
what kind of connection you're looking for, there's one element
that holds everything together, and that's the quality of your
sexual connection. Whether you're casually dating
or building something more meaningful, intimacy plays a
huge role in how long the relationship lasts and how
strong the bond becomes. O Let's dive into why sexual
(06:08):
connection is the foundation forall of this.
And I'm not just talking about physical attraction.
I'm talking about how the entireexperience makes her feel.
If the sex is exceptional, it creates a bond that's tough to
break. One of the guys in the community
said it perfectly. If the sex is good, it's almost
impossible for her to emotionally detach, no matter
what her friends or family are saying about you.
It's true. But here's the flip side.
(06:30):
Not every guy is naturally greatin bed.
And I see this all the time in the icy community.
You might be surprised, but I get applicants who want to have
all sorts of wild sexual adventures.
They want threesomes, orgies, parties, you name it.
But they have horrible sex skills.
They lack confidence in the bedroom.
They barely have any experience and are asking me for this
advanced level advice. Here's what I tell them every
single time. Well, let's crawl before we can
(06:52):
walk. You want to smash threesomes?
Sure, I can help you show the way, but before you even think
about that, you've got to learn how to consistently satisfy one
woman in the bedroom. And here's the truth, no woman
is going to want to share you with another woman if you can't
even satisfy her alone. The only guys who can get away
with bad sex skills or as some Gen.
Z ers like we call these days, bad Dick game, are mega chads.
(07:15):
Women assume these guys are stallions just by looking at
them, but ironically they're theones women also complain about
the most. They're lazy.
They're super vanilla. Honestly a disappointment in
bed. I've heard it time and time
again from women. I slept with this hot guy and it
was super May. The guy you really have to look
out for is the one who invests in his bedroom skills.
He's the guy who enjoys pleasingwomen and isn't just going
(07:37):
through the motions. It's funny because Jewish guys
like to claim this for themselves.
And AS as a fellow Jew, I can kind of relate.
I grew up as a fat Jewish nerd. I was always overlooked by women
that I fantasize constantly about.
And I wasn't just fantasizing about sex, it was also about the
little things. Kissing, cuddling, making a
woman smile. I wanted to give pleasure
because deep down I guess I knewit was the best way to get
(07:58):
pleasure in return. And that's the secret.
Solid bedroom skills doesn't come from ego or pretending
you've got it all figured out. It comes from experience.
It comes from being vulnerable. If you're not a frat boy who got
that experience by sheer exposure, you got to put in the
reps you got to go on a lot of dates, you got to get
comfortable with your own sexuality and keep improving at
it. So in the IC community, we've
(08:19):
got resources for this trainings.
Sexuality experts who help guys tackle everything from a
performance anxiety to physical and mental dysfunction.
But at the end of the day, there's no substitute again for
that experience. The more time you spend
understanding women's bodies andlearning to communicate in the
bedroom, the stronger your sexual connection will be.
And here's why this matters. When you bring something new to
the table, whether that's tryingdifferent things in the bedroom
(08:40):
or just being fully present, youcreate a bond that feels fresh
and unique. When you do that, she'll
associate you with experiences she can't really get anywhere
else, and that's how you become unforgettable and unreplaceable.
Here's the flip side. Not every woman is super in tune
with her body or knows how to really fully enjoy intimacy or
sex. And that's where you come in.
Not to fix anything, but to create experience where she
(09:03):
feels safe, comfortable and freeto.
Explore Before we continue with the episode, If you're going out
and getting numbers and want to improve your texting so more of
those numbers convert to dates, check out my texting course and
we'll teach you the psychology of digital communication, which
is surprisingly polar opposite in almost every way compared to
live interactions. What works in person doesn't
work in text, so this is almost always the.
(09:24):
Area. That men are making easily
correctable mistakes that they're totally unconscious of.
My course will optimize your texting, which is a skill you
really need to master. And the best part is you can cut
and paste your way to mastery. You can find the link in the
description. It costs less than a round of
drinks. And if you're going on dates and
want to learn what to do some more of them end up in your
bedroom, check out my free dating protocol.
(09:44):
You'll learn to be an interesting guy to talk to, even
if you're serious or overanalytical.
How to help a girl open up on a date.
Why talking about sex is a big taboo on dates.
If you want to get laid and whatto talk about instead.
Going from the first touch to the first kiss.
How to invite her over to your place and why you should skip
80% of the physical escalation moves you're doing back at your
place. The link to this free guide is
(10:05):
in the description. Out of all the guys I know, the
only ones who managed to consistently land eights and up
are the guys who have built a social circle.
You can certainly approach womenand use the apps to get laid,
but those strategies simply don't really work on top tier
women. Think about it, she's hot, she
has hot friends, and hot girls get invited to high status
events almost every single night.
So when it comes time to get ready for your date, do you
(10:26):
think she's going to show up or flake last minute when her the
girlfriend texts her to come to some awesome thing?
As if. She's going to choose.
The random dude on Hinge or the guy who chased her down on the
street over her social circle? No chance.
If you're getting tons of flakes, this is the reason.
But for most guys, the idea of building a social circle,
especially if you're travelling or in a new city, can feel
overwhelming. So they continue to hunt for
(10:47):
women in their usual ways, and they end up settling for a girl
they were never really that excited about in the 1st place.
To avoid this fate, join our community of aspiring
international Playboys and instantly plug into a highly
vetted social circle of cool dudes to network and navigate
your journey with. You already know it's hard to
find a wing man because the goodones don't really stay in the
game very long. They get married, life goes on,
(11:07):
right? Many of our members travel
together, they end up living together, and they build amazing
social circles in the best kept secret locations around the
globe with gorgeous women and low cost of living.
I'm extremely careful who I let into this community, but if you
feel like you'd make a good fit,you can learn more about the
social funnel method to consistently land top tier women
and apply to join our community.The link is in the description.
(11:28):
Now let's let's get back. To the show.
So now let's talk about how to balance that connection with
structure so things don't veer in a territory you're not ready
for. Sexual connection might be the
foundation, but without the right boundaries and rhythm,
it's easy to unintentionally over invest or to make her feel
like you're looking for something deeper than you really
are. This is where what I call the
golden ratio comes into play. It's one of the simplest yet
(11:51):
most effective ways to maintain a healthy dynamic in a casual
relationship. So let's break that down.
If you want to keep things casual without looking too
invested, here's the rule. See her no more than once every
seven to 10 days and text her nomore than three times in
between. And no, I don't mean 3 literal
texts, I mean three conversations.
And of course, these are blurredlines.
(12:11):
Use your common sense. If you message with her every
single day and then she later finds out you're trying to date
casually, she's going to infer you are texting her the same
night you had plans with other women.
And that's going to feel kind ofweird and icky and wrong.
To her. You're going to look like a
slimeball. So give her the gift of
uncertainty and the fun feelingsof dating a mysterious guy who's
hot enough to be prized by otherwomen.
(12:33):
So why does this ratio work? Well?
Because it lets your actions do the talking.
You're showing her you enjoy hercompany without being
overbearing or signalling you want something more serious.
Here's yourself. Check in.
You know, Ask yourself, am I letting this dynamic feel
natural or am I forcing it by over texting seeing her too
often, right? Am I seeing her just because she
wants to see me? Is it possible for me to say no?
(12:55):
Am I sticking to my guns? Stick to the golden ratio and
you'll keep the dynamic light and fun while giving her space
to miss you. So one second here while I grab
a shot of magic mind. I really love this stuff because
it's consistently giving me likea productivity boost day in and
(13:16):
day out. I usually take it around this
time in the afternoon when I start to crash a little bit and
it doesn't really give me the jitters like coffee does.
And it's effectively got like almost no calories.
So it's good for my current weight loss stuff.
But I really noticed that over time as I consistently use it, I
(13:36):
feel like just less brain fog, less lack of energy in the
afternoons. So I highly recommend grab some
of the stuff for yourself. It's really good. 20% off if you
use my discount that's innerconfidence20@magicmind.com/inner
Confidence 20 Act fast. This is only available for the
(13:59):
1st 10 offers they said, so you know, if you're looking for
something that doesn't give you jitters.
Health conscious? No, nothing unnatural in this.
It's all like ashwagandha and stuff.
I can't pronounce all the vitamins.
Stuff's good, get some. So let's get back into it.
So let's talk about a super advanced move that will allow
you to effectively continue a casual relationship with a woman
(14:20):
forever, or at least until she marries someone else.
This one is for the guys who have already had success with
casual dating. You've had casual partners,
maybe even a steady rotation, but you keep running into the
same wall. You know the one, I want you to
be my boyfriend. Or where is this going?
If you're getting hit with exclusivity talks, it's probably
because you're still the one driving the dynamic too much.
(14:41):
You're texting her to hang out, making plans, and even though it
feels casual to you, your actions might be sending mixed
signals. Here's the advanced move.
After the first few dates, especially once you've been
intimate, you know a couple times at least, leave the ball
in her court. You've already shown her a good
time. You made the effort.
Now it's her turn to initiate ifshe wants to keep seeing you.
(15:02):
One of the guys in the group summed it up perfectly.
When you stop chasing and let her make the next move, it flips
the dynamic. She's the one wondering when
she'll get to see you again. And because she's the one
reaching out, the whole what arewe talk doesn't come up.
This isn't about ghosting or playing cold.
You're still present. You reply to her text, you react
to her stories, You keep things fun.
But now she's investing in you. Trust me, this works wonders for
(15:25):
maintaining a casualty dynamic without the drama.
By letting her take the lead on initiating Hangouts, you're
effectively turning yourself into a booty call or friends
with benefit situation. Again, your sex game needs to be
super strong for this to work, but once she notices that you're
not trying to lock her down, she'll probably even crave you
more. She might do everything she can
to get you to commit, but she's not ever likely to be angry or
(15:48):
feel manipulated like you use itfor sex because she's the one
asking for it. So now let's talk about the
other super valuable thing that separates casual flings from
truly memorable connections, andthat's mentorship.
And yeah, I know it sounds like something from a seminar, but
stick with me here. Women aren't just looking for
fun, they're looking for inspiration.
One of the guys shared this. Girls come back to me because I
(16:09):
help them with stuff that matters, whether it's career
advice, travel tips, or startingtheir own business.
And this is what I call mentor game.
It's not about being her life coach.
It's about sharing what you knowand adding value to her life.
Maybe she's thinking about starting a business and you help
her brainstorm ideas. Maybe she's stuck in a job she
hates and you offer insights to help her pivot.
Here's the key. Are you genuinely helping her
(16:29):
grow, or are you using this as leverage to keep her around?
If you're authentic, she's goingto feel it.
If you're not, she's going to feel that too.
And when she associates you withpersonal growth and good vibes,
you'll really be in a league of your own.
Like where else is she going to get that?
So now she's not just coming around for sex, she's coming
around for a deeper connection. And that's what can keep things
alive for years. If you're both feeling like
you're getting a good deal. And if you're an older guy
(16:50):
looking to date younger women, this is your real big time go to
strategy. Might be your only strategy,
right? And this is especially
important, you know, for building that deeper connection.
Great sex and maintaining a sense of fun and adventure is
your go to strategy here. We'll get back to the show in a
second, but before before we do,I have a quick request.
If you've ever gotten any value from this podcast and you want
(17:11):
this show to continue to grow, and I invite you to leave us a
rating and review on Apple or Spotify.
These reviews. Really go a long way to help us
attract better podcasters and bigger guests.
So if you're feeling up to it, we'd love to see a rating and a
review from you. And if you share that rating
with me and you recommend the podcast to just one wingman or
(17:31):
buddy, and you send me a screenshot.
Of that recommendation I'll. Send you a secret bonus
workshop. All right, back to the show.
Let's talk about how to navigatesocial dynamics when you're
bringing your casual partners toevents.
This can add a lot of excitementto relationships if you handle
it the right way. This is also something we debate
a lot in the group. Guys are always hosting events
(17:52):
and asking me if they should bring certain girls around.
So should you be inviting your casual partners to social
events? It can be risky, but when done
right, it can add loads of excitement.
One of the guys said this. I brought her to a fashion event
where three other women I was seeing showed up.
The competition fired her up andlet's just say the night ended
well. But here's the deal, you've got
(18:12):
to know your audience. Confident, playful women might
thrive in this environment, but if she's shy or insecure, it
could blow up in your face big time.
So ask yourself, am I creating afun, inclusive vibe, or am I
just stirring up unnecessary drama?
Handle it right and it could addanother layer of excitement.
But the guys who are just building a rotation for the
first time, I would say air on the cautious side and don't
(18:33):
invite girls to these events. If you want to extend the life
of those relationships, why bring sand to the beach, as they
say? And finally, let's address the
big inevitable question that youalmost always get unless you're
a pro at this. And that's when she asks, are
you seeing other people? Right?
What are we? Where is this going?
So first, don't panic. This isn't an interrogation.
(18:54):
It's just her checking in. Here's how you handle it.
Right. So she she says, are you seeing
other girls? Like right now I don't see
anyone else in the room but you.If she asks you how many girls
are you sleeping with? Well, right now I don't know,
2526 a few Milfs, couple only fans girls 1 granny, you know,
(19:14):
you're my favorite though. If she presses stay cool and say
look, I'm not keeping a roster here.
I'm really enjoying our connection.
I'm hoping to seeing where it goes and if it ever stops
feeling fun and you start needing certain things from me,
I want you to know that you can always be upfront with me.
Just talk to me about it. That keeps things honest without
making it awkward. So remember, your tone matters
(19:35):
more than the words themselves. Keep it playful, confident,
respectful. Keep it funny, right?
She'll take her cues from you. So if you're listening and
thinking, Robbie, this is cool and all, but what if I'm the one
who wants to get serious with the girl I'm currently casually
dating? Well, this happens more often
than you'd think. Maybe the chemistry is
incredible, or maybe you're justat a point where you're ready
for a deeper connection. Here's the first thing you need
(19:56):
to understand. It's her job to single.
She's ready for a commitment. It's your job to decide if you
want to take it there. Women know that early on.
They know that they hold the sexcard, they control access to
intimacy, and that's their power.
But when things shift, when she starts wanting more, you'll
notice a change in her behavior,and you got to pay attention to
these signals. She starts hinting that she
(20:17):
wants to see you more often. She's suddenly super available
and eager to make plans. She's going out of her way to
show you how she fits into your life, whether that's through
maybe cooking for you, helping you with something important, or
just being extra attentive. These are signs that she's ready
for a level of deeper connection.
Now here's where you, as a man, need to play it smart.
You never want to barter commitment for sex.
(20:38):
If you throw the commitment cardon the table just to lock things
down, you're putting yourself ina really weak position.
Why? Because commitment should never
feel like a transaction. It should come from a place of
mutual respect and desire, not from fear of losing her or
feeling pressured to escalate. So how do you navigate this?
Simple. Let her signals guide you and
take your time. If you're ready for something
(21:00):
more serious, show it through. Your actions start being a
little more consistent. Spend more quality time
together. Break that golden rule.
See how she responds. Don't you know, over break it?
It's the little by little. Here's the key.
You don't have to spell it out right away.
Women generally understand that it's your job as a man to, you
know, move the relationship forward, bring up that
(21:22):
exclusivity or relationship title.
By waiting until the dynamic is naturally in a good place where
she's showing interest and investment, you stay in control
of the direction things are headed.
If she's pushing for commitment before you're ready, don't let
that rattle you either. Stay calm and confident.
Simply say, hey, I'm really enjoying where we are right now.
I think it's great we're building something naturally.
(21:42):
I'd like to keep this vibe going.
Let's not rush into anything. This keeps the pressure off and
shows that you're paying attention without making any
promises you're not ready to keep.
Transitioning from casual to serious isn't about rushing it
into a decision. It's about recognizing the
signs, taking your time, and moving forward when and only
when you're truly ready. The goal is to keep things
balanced so you're leading from the position of confidence and
(22:03):
abundance, not fear or scarcity.So let's kind of bring it all
home. Everything we've talked about
today, from building a solid sexual connection to the golden
ratio for maintaining balance tothe advanced strategy of letting
her take the lead after a few dates, centers on one core
principle, confidence. The name of this podcast,
Confidence, isn't just about howyou carry yourself.
It's about knowing what you wantand creating the conditions to
(22:26):
get it. It's about respecting her needs
while staying true to yours and recognizing that you're always
in the driver's seat of your dating life.
If you're in the casual stage, focus on mastering your bedroom
game, building meaningful connections, becoming a better
mentor, and enjoying the adventure.
If you're ready for something deeper, pay attention to her
signals. Lead with intention.
The truth is, there's no one-size-fits-all paths.
(22:47):
Some guys want to explore, some want to settle down, some just
want to get out of their own wayand see what's possible.
My job is helping figure that out and give you the tools to
make it happen. So here's a challenge for you.
Take a look at where you are right now in your dating life.
Are you building from a place ofabundance or are you stuck in
fear and scarcity? Are you leaving with confidence
or are you letting the dynamic run you?
Wherever you are, just know it'spossible to level up, whether
(23:09):
that's through self improvement,better dating strategies,
joining the community. Like I see the next step is in
your hands. So thanks for tuning in guys.
I hope you enjoyed the episode. If you're a regular.
Listener and you're digging our content.
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(23:31):
we've opened up a few slots in our exclusive community.
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Step up your game. Cross every.
Off your sexual bucket list and become a beast at accomplishing
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Have you ever wanted to enjoy the fun and excitement of casual
dating without the drama or hurting someones feelings?
Or maybe you've struggled to maintain that casual vibe
without leading someone on or having things get serious too
fast. Well, if that's you, you'll want
to tune into this week's episode.
We're going to explore how you can keep the spark alive in
casual relationships while beinghonest and respectful about your
intentions. I'm going to share effective
(00:21):
strategies on how to communicateclearly, manage expectations,
ensuring both you and the women you date can enjoy the
experience without misunderstandings.
This episode is perfect for guyswho want to meet awesome girls
and enjoy the dating scene to the fullest without resorting to
manipulation. You're listening to the Inner
Confidence podcast, home to the Social Funnel Method.
My name is Robbie Kramer, I've been a coach since 2007 and I've
(00:45):
helped over 1300 digital nomads,expats and remote workers build
an amazing social and dating life abroad.
My mission is simple. To help you position.
Yourself to meet stunning women and make awesome friends in
route to becoming the most confident and attractive version
you can be. I have an intense hatred for
fluff and useless advice that you can't take action on, so
tune in each week to learn the most effective and implementable
(01:07):
strategies to level up your game.
So stick around. Let's go.
So earlier today, one of my moreadvanced members in the inner
confidence community brought up a situation during our upper
belt call. He told me about a girl he'd
been seeing for about four months when things started to
shift. She wanted to know where things
were going, and it was clear shewasn't super happy with the
current state of their relationship.
(01:28):
They were hanging out about oncea week, texting a little in
between. And of course those meet UPS
always involved intimacy. But lately when they met, she
was more aloof and she didn't want to have sex.
I explained that this happens a lot in casual relationships.
She was likely developing stronger feelings of attachment,
but she could sense that he wasn't on the same page.
And this vibe made her start kind of searching for answers,
(01:50):
testing the waters and it reallykind of ask and look to see how
invested he was. And to protect herself
emotionally, she started pullingaway sexually.
And I mean, here's the truth, when this happens, the best move
is to let her go. At that point, the relationship
isn't a good fit anymore. Continuing to pursue her
casually would feel manipulativebecause her needs are shifting
(02:11):
towards something deeper. And really, any attempt to hold
on to that dynamic would only lead to guilt down the road for
him, confusion for her. And interestingly, another guy
on the call was going through the same situation with the girl
he'd been seeing for a few months.
And when we looked a little bit closer, both women had a few
things in common. They were both in the late 20s,
starting to feel the pressure oftheir biological clock and the
(02:33):
need to find a partner to build a family with.
And this naturally led to a bigger discussion about the
morality of building a rotation of women.
Is it ethical for men to date multiple people at the same
time? Should this even be a goal?
Well, if you ask the average guyin the street, most would
probably say no while secretly being like, Oh no, actually I
want that. Of course, women would also say
(02:54):
no. But let's take a closer look at
how the dating market actually works.
Attractive women have an overwhelming number of options
coming their way through the dating apps, social media, their
social circles, and even random guys approaching them in real
life. They've got a filtering problem.
Their dating strategy is typically to entertain a variety
of conversations and interactions.
(03:16):
Sometimes they'll sleep with theguy to test compatibility,
sometimes they'll have casual sex because they're horny, and
sometimes they'll just enjoy theattention or a nice date without
any intention of seeing the guy again.
From a man's perspective, you might meet her in the produce
section of the grocery store on Hinge, maybe at your synagogue.
You don't know what she's looking for until you start
(03:36):
connecting, though. For the confident man who knows
what he wants, this isn't a problem.
If he's looking for adventure and variety, he focuses on
casual dating and those novel experiences.
For a lot of guys in their 20s and 30s, this is a typical path
until they feel ready for something more meaningful like a
family or a long term commitment.
But what about the men who lack that inner confidence?
(03:56):
Maybe they're recently divorced,out of touch with the dating
scene. Maybe they've been in a long
term toxic relationship or multiple long term toxic
relationships and they've never had the chance to explore and
enjoy casual dating. Is it wrong for them to build a
rotation of women and experiencewhat it feels like to be desired
by many? Well, here's the reality.
Women are already doing this covertly.
(04:18):
They don't brag to their buddiesabout all the guys they are
hooking up with. Maybe behind closed doors or
insects in the city they do. But you know this behavior is
celebrated. Society sees empowered women,
but men who do the same are labeled as pigs or players.
And I feel that's kind of an unfair double standard.
The truth is, neither side should benefit by deceiving the
other. But men who lack confidence need
(04:40):
a way to level up, to become more attractive, more
interesting, more worldly. And this involves making
themselves better, looking through fitness and style.
Some people call that looks maxing, and also developing
their financial situation, becoming more masculine.
But leveling up isn't just aboutimproving yourself as a product.
It's about learning to market that product, and that means
(05:02):
getting better at flirting, conversation, connection, and
all the ways you would actually go about meeting a woman and,
you know, becoming a more consistent figure in her life.
And what's the best way to learnall that?
Well, direct exposure. It's kind of the only way to
learn it. You got to go on lots of dates.
You got to put yourself out there.
You got to let yourself be vulnerable.
The point is this, there's nothing wrong with a man wanting
(05:24):
to explore his options, build his confidence, and figure out
what he truly wants, just as long as he's honest with the
women in his life. Some women want casual
relationships somewhat long termcommitment.
Both are valid, and my job has helped men build the confidence
to choose from a place of abundance, not fierce scarcity.
So what does this mean for you as a man navigating the dating
world? The first step is being honest
(05:46):
with yourself about what you want, whether it's adventure and
variety or something deeper. But here's the thing, no matter
what kind of connection you're looking for, there's one element
that holds everything together, and that's the quality of your
sexual connection. Whether you're casually dating
or building something more meaningful, intimacy plays a
huge role in how long the relationship lasts and how
strong the bond becomes. O Let's dive into why sexual
(06:08):
connection is the foundation forall of this.
And I'm not just talking about physical attraction.
I'm talking about how the entireexperience makes her feel.
If the sex is exceptional, it creates a bond that's tough to
break. One of the guys in the community
said it perfectly. If the sex is good, it's almost
impossible for her to emotionally detach, no matter
what her friends or family are saying about you.
It's true. But here's the flip side.
(06:30):
Not every guy is naturally greatin bed.
And I see this all the time in the icy community.
You might be surprised, but I get applicants who want to have
all sorts of wild sexual adventures.
They want threesomes, orgies, parties, you name it.
But they have horrible sex skills.
They lack confidence in the bedroom.
They barely have any experience and are asking me for this
advanced level advice. Here's what I tell them every
single time. Well, let's crawl before we can
(06:52):
walk. You want to smash threesomes?
Sure, I can help you show the way, but before you even think
about that, you've got to learn how to consistently satisfy one
woman in the bedroom. And here's the truth, no woman
is going to want to share you with another woman if you can't
even satisfy her alone. The only guys who can get away
with bad sex skills or as some Gen.
Z ers like we call these days, bad Dick game, are mega chads.
(07:15):
Women assume these guys are stallions just by looking at
them, but ironically they're theones women also complain about
the most. They're lazy.
They're super vanilla. Honestly a disappointment in
bed. I've heard it time and time
again from women. I slept with this hot guy and it
was super May. The guy you really have to look
out for is the one who invests in his bedroom skills.
He's the guy who enjoys pleasingwomen and isn't just going
(07:37):
through the motions. It's funny because Jewish guys
like to claim this for themselves.
And AS as a fellow Jew, I can kind of relate.
I grew up as a fat Jewish nerd. I was always overlooked by women
that I fantasize constantly about.
And I wasn't just fantasizing about sex, it was also about the
little things. Kissing, cuddling, making a
woman smile. I wanted to give pleasure
because deep down I guess I knewit was the best way to get
(07:58):
pleasure in return. And that's the secret.
Solid bedroom skills doesn't come from ego or pretending
you've got it all figured out. It comes from experience.
It comes from being vulnerable. If you're not a frat boy who got
that experience by sheer exposure, you got to put in the
reps you got to go on a lot of dates, you got to get
comfortable with your own sexuality and keep improving at
it. So in the IC community, we've
(08:19):
got resources for this trainings.
Sexuality experts who help guys tackle everything from a
performance anxiety to physical and mental dysfunction.
But at the end of the day, there's no substitute again for
that experience. The more time you spend
understanding women's bodies andlearning to communicate in the
bedroom, the stronger your sexual connection will be.
And here's why this matters. When you bring something new to
the table, whether that's tryingdifferent things in the bedroom
(08:40):
or just being fully present, youcreate a bond that feels fresh
and unique. When you do that, she'll
associate you with experiences she can't really get anywhere
else, and that's how you become unforgettable and unreplaceable.
Here's the flip side. Not every woman is super in tune
with her body or knows how to really fully enjoy intimacy or
sex. And that's where you come in.
Not to fix anything, but to create experience where she
(09:03):
feels safe, comfortable and freeto.
Explore Before we continue with the episode, If you're going out
and getting numbers and want to improve your texting so more of
those numbers convert to dates, check out my texting course and
we'll teach you the psychology of digital communication, which
is surprisingly polar opposite in almost every way compared to
live interactions. What works in person doesn't
work in text, so this is almost always the.
(09:24):
Area. That men are making easily
correctable mistakes that they're totally unconscious of.
My course will optimize your texting, which is a skill you
really need to master. And the best part is you can cut
and paste your way to mastery. You can find the link in the
description. It costs less than a round of
drinks. And if you're going on dates and
want to learn what to do some more of them end up in your
bedroom, check out my free dating protocol.
(09:44):
You'll learn to be an interesting guy to talk to, even
if you're serious or overanalytical.
How to help a girl open up on a date.
Why talking about sex is a big taboo on dates.
If you want to get laid and whatto talk about instead.
Going from the first touch to the first kiss.
How to invite her over to your place and why you should skip
80% of the physical escalation moves you're doing back at your
place. The link to this free guide is
(10:05):
in the description. Out of all the guys I know, the
only ones who managed to consistently land eights and up
are the guys who have built a social circle.
You can certainly approach womenand use the apps to get laid,
but those strategies simply don't really work on top tier
women. Think about it, she's hot, she
has hot friends, and hot girls get invited to high status
events almost every single night.
So when it comes time to get ready for your date, do you
(10:26):
think she's going to show up or flake last minute when her the
girlfriend texts her to come to some awesome thing?
As if. She's going to choose.
The random dude on Hinge or the guy who chased her down on the
street over her social circle? No chance.
If you're getting tons of flakes, this is the reason.
But for most guys, the idea of building a social circle,
especially if you're travelling or in a new city, can feel
overwhelming. So they continue to hunt for
(10:47):
women in their usual ways, and they end up settling for a girl
they were never really that excited about in the 1st place.
To avoid this fate, join our community of aspiring
international Playboys and instantly plug into a highly
vetted social circle of cool dudes to network and navigate
your journey with. You already know it's hard to
find a wing man because the goodones don't really stay in the
game very long. They get married, life goes on,
(11:07):
right? Many of our members travel
together, they end up living together, and they build amazing
social circles in the best kept secret locations around the
globe with gorgeous women and low cost of living.
I'm extremely careful who I let into this community, but if you
feel like you'd make a good fit,you can learn more about the
social funnel method to consistently land top tier women
and apply to join our community.The link is in the description.
(11:28):
Now let's let's get back. To the show.
So now let's talk about how to balance that connection with
structure so things don't veer in a territory you're not ready
for. Sexual connection might be the
foundation, but without the right boundaries and rhythm,
it's easy to unintentionally over invest or to make her feel
like you're looking for something deeper than you really
are. This is where what I call the
golden ratio comes into play. It's one of the simplest yet
(11:51):
most effective ways to maintain a healthy dynamic in a casual
relationship. So let's break that down.
If you want to keep things casual without looking too
invested, here's the rule. See her no more than once every
seven to 10 days and text her nomore than three times in
between. And no, I don't mean 3 literal
texts, I mean three conversations.
And of course, these are blurredlines.
(12:11):
Use your common sense. If you message with her every
single day and then she later finds out you're trying to date
casually, she's going to infer you are texting her the same
night you had plans with other women.
And that's going to feel kind ofweird and icky and wrong.
To her. You're going to look like a
slimeball. So give her the gift of
uncertainty and the fun feelingsof dating a mysterious guy who's
hot enough to be prized by otherwomen.
(12:33):
So why does this ratio work? Well?
Because it lets your actions do the talking.
You're showing her you enjoy hercompany without being
overbearing or signalling you want something more serious.
Here's yourself. Check in.
You know, Ask yourself, am I letting this dynamic feel
natural or am I forcing it by over texting seeing her too
often, right? Am I seeing her just because she
wants to see me? Is it possible for me to say no?
(12:55):
Am I sticking to my guns? Stick to the golden ratio and
you'll keep the dynamic light and fun while giving her space
to miss you. So one second here while I grab
a shot of magic mind. I really love this stuff because
it's consistently giving me likea productivity boost day in and
(13:16):
day out. I usually take it around this
time in the afternoon when I start to crash a little bit and
it doesn't really give me the jitters like coffee does.
And it's effectively got like almost no calories.
So it's good for my current weight loss stuff.
But I really noticed that over time as I consistently use it, I
(13:36):
feel like just less brain fog, less lack of energy in the
afternoons. So I highly recommend grab some
of the stuff for yourself. It's really good. 20% off if you
use my discount that's innerconfidence20@magicmind.com/inner
Confidence 20 Act fast. This is only available for the
(13:59):
1st 10 offers they said, so you know, if you're looking for
something that doesn't give you jitters.
Health conscious? No, nothing unnatural in this.
It's all like ashwagandha and stuff.
I can't pronounce all the vitamins.
Stuff's good, get some. So let's get back into it.
So let's talk about a super advanced move that will allow
you to effectively continue a casual relationship with a woman
(14:20):
forever, or at least until she marries someone else.
This one is for the guys who have already had success with
casual dating. You've had casual partners,
maybe even a steady rotation, but you keep running into the
same wall. You know the one, I want you to
be my boyfriend. Or where is this going?
If you're getting hit with exclusivity talks, it's probably
because you're still the one driving the dynamic too much.
(14:41):
You're texting her to hang out, making plans, and even though it
feels casual to you, your actions might be sending mixed
signals. Here's the advanced move.
After the first few dates, especially once you've been
intimate, you know a couple times at least, leave the ball
in her court. You've already shown her a good
time. You made the effort.
Now it's her turn to initiate ifshe wants to keep seeing you.
(15:02):
One of the guys in the group summed it up perfectly.
When you stop chasing and let her make the next move, it flips
the dynamic. She's the one wondering when
she'll get to see you again. And because she's the one
reaching out, the whole what arewe talk doesn't come up.
This isn't about ghosting or playing cold.
You're still present. You reply to her text, you react
to her stories, You keep things fun.
But now she's investing in you. Trust me, this works wonders for
(15:25):
maintaining a casualty dynamic without the drama.
By letting her take the lead on initiating Hangouts, you're
effectively turning yourself into a booty call or friends
with benefit situation. Again, your sex game needs to be
super strong for this to work, but once she notices that you're
not trying to lock her down, she'll probably even crave you
more. She might do everything she can
to get you to commit, but she's not ever likely to be angry or
(15:48):
feel manipulated like you use itfor sex because she's the one
asking for it. So now let's talk about the
other super valuable thing that separates casual flings from
truly memorable connections, andthat's mentorship.
And yeah, I know it sounds like something from a seminar, but
stick with me here. Women aren't just looking for
fun, they're looking for inspiration.
One of the guys shared this. Girls come back to me because I
(16:09):
help them with stuff that matters, whether it's career
advice, travel tips, or startingtheir own business.
And this is what I call mentor game.
It's not about being her life coach.
It's about sharing what you knowand adding value to her life.
Maybe she's thinking about starting a business and you help
her brainstorm ideas. Maybe she's stuck in a job she
hates and you offer insights to help her pivot.
Here's the key. Are you genuinely helping her
(16:29):
grow, or are you using this as leverage to keep her around?
If you're authentic, she's goingto feel it.
If you're not, she's going to feel that too.
And when she associates you withpersonal growth and good vibes,
you'll really be in a league of your own.
Like where else is she going to get that?
So now she's not just coming around for sex, she's coming
around for a deeper connection. And that's what can keep things
alive for years. If you're both feeling like
you're getting a good deal. And if you're an older guy
(16:50):
looking to date younger women, this is your real big time go to
strategy. Might be your only strategy,
right? And this is especially
important, you know, for building that deeper connection.
Great sex and maintaining a sense of fun and adventure is
your go to strategy here. We'll get back to the show in a
second, but before before we do,I have a quick request.
If you've ever gotten any value from this podcast and you want
(17:11):
this show to continue to grow, and I invite you to leave us a
rating and review on Apple or Spotify.
These reviews. Really go a long way to help us
attract better podcasters and bigger guests.
So if you're feeling up to it, we'd love to see a rating and a
review from you. And if you share that rating
with me and you recommend the podcast to just one wingman or
(17:31):
buddy, and you send me a screenshot.
Of that recommendation I'll. Send you a secret bonus
workshop. All right, back to the show.
Let's talk about how to navigatesocial dynamics when you're
bringing your casual partners toevents.
This can add a lot of excitementto relationships if you handle
it the right way. This is also something we debate
a lot in the group. Guys are always hosting events
(17:52):
and asking me if they should bring certain girls around.
So should you be inviting your casual partners to social
events? It can be risky, but when done
right, it can add loads of excitement.
One of the guys said this. I brought her to a fashion event
where three other women I was seeing showed up.
The competition fired her up andlet's just say the night ended
well. But here's the deal, you've got
(18:12):
to know your audience. Confident, playful women might
thrive in this environment, but if she's shy or insecure, it
could blow up in your face big time.
So ask yourself, am I creating afun, inclusive vibe, or am I
just stirring up unnecessary drama?
Handle it right and it could addanother layer of excitement.
But the guys who are just building a rotation for the
first time, I would say air on the cautious side and don't
(18:33):
invite girls to these events. If you want to extend the life
of those relationships, why bring sand to the beach, as they
say? And finally, let's address the
big inevitable question that youalmost always get unless you're
a pro at this. And that's when she asks, are
you seeing other people? Right?
What are we? Where is this going?
So first, don't panic. This isn't an interrogation.
(18:54):
It's just her checking in. Here's how you handle it.
Right. So she she says, are you seeing
other girls? Like right now I don't see
anyone else in the room but you.If she asks you how many girls
are you sleeping with? Well, right now I don't know,
2526 a few Milfs, couple only fans girls 1 granny, you know,
(19:14):
you're my favorite though. If she presses stay cool and say
look, I'm not keeping a roster here.
I'm really enjoying our connection.
I'm hoping to seeing where it goes and if it ever stops
feeling fun and you start needing certain things from me,
I want you to know that you can always be upfront with me.
Just talk to me about it. That keeps things honest without
making it awkward. So remember, your tone matters
(19:35):
more than the words themselves. Keep it playful, confident,
respectful. Keep it funny, right?
She'll take her cues from you. So if you're listening and
thinking, Robbie, this is cool and all, but what if I'm the one
who wants to get serious with the girl I'm currently casually
dating? Well, this happens more often
than you'd think. Maybe the chemistry is
incredible, or maybe you're justat a point where you're ready
for a deeper connection. Here's the first thing you need
(19:56):
to understand. It's her job to single.
She's ready for a commitment. It's your job to decide if you
want to take it there. Women know that early on.
They know that they hold the sexcard, they control access to
intimacy, and that's their power.
But when things shift, when she starts wanting more, you'll
notice a change in her behavior,and you got to pay attention to
these signals. She starts hinting that she
(20:17):
wants to see you more often. She's suddenly super available
and eager to make plans. She's going out of her way to
show you how she fits into your life, whether that's through
maybe cooking for you, helping you with something important, or
just being extra attentive. These are signs that she's ready
for a level of deeper connection.
Now here's where you, as a man, need to play it smart.
You never want to barter commitment for sex.
(20:38):
If you throw the commitment cardon the table just to lock things
down, you're putting yourself ina really weak position.
Why? Because commitment should never
feel like a transaction. It should come from a place of
mutual respect and desire, not from fear of losing her or
feeling pressured to escalate. So how do you navigate this?
Simple. Let her signals guide you and
take your time. If you're ready for something
(21:00):
more serious, show it through. Your actions start being a
little more consistent. Spend more quality time
together. Break that golden rule.
See how she responds. Don't you know, over break it?
It's the little by little. Here's the key.
You don't have to spell it out right away.
Women generally understand that it's your job as a man to, you
know, move the relationship forward, bring up that
(21:22):
exclusivity or relationship title.
By waiting until the dynamic is naturally in a good place where
she's showing interest and investment, you stay in control
of the direction things are headed.
If she's pushing for commitment before you're ready, don't let
that rattle you either. Stay calm and confident.
Simply say, hey, I'm really enjoying where we are right now.
I think it's great we're building something naturally.
(21:42):
I'd like to keep this vibe going.
Let's not rush into anything. This keeps the pressure off and
shows that you're paying attention without making any
promises you're not ready to keep.
Transitioning from casual to serious isn't about rushing it
into a decision. It's about recognizing the
signs, taking your time, and moving forward when and only
when you're truly ready. The goal is to keep things
balanced so you're leading from the position of confidence and
(22:03):
abundance, not fear or scarcity.So let's kind of bring it all
home. Everything we've talked about
today, from building a solid sexual connection to the golden
ratio for maintaining balance tothe advanced strategy of letting
her take the lead after a few dates, centers on one core
principle, confidence. The name of this podcast,
Confidence, isn't just about howyou carry yourself.
It's about knowing what you wantand creating the conditions to
(22:26):
get it. It's about respecting her needs
while staying true to yours and recognizing that you're always
in the driver's seat of your dating life.
If you're in the casual stage, focus on mastering your bedroom
game, building meaningful connections, becoming a better
mentor, and enjoying the adventure.
If you're ready for something deeper, pay attention to her
signals. Lead with intention.
The truth is, there's no one-size-fits-all paths.
(22:47):
Some guys want to explore, some want to settle down, some just
want to get out of their own wayand see what's possible.
My job is helping figure that out and give you the tools to
make it happen. So here's a challenge for you.
Take a look at where you are right now in your dating life.
Are you building from a place ofabundance or are you stuck in
fear and scarcity? Are you leaving with confidence
or are you letting the dynamic run you?
Wherever you are, just know it'spossible to level up, whether
(23:09):
that's through self improvement,better dating strategies,
joining the community. Like I see the next step is in
your hands. So thanks for tuning in guys.
I hope you enjoyed the episode. If you're a regular.
Listener and you're digging our content.
Do me a favor, leave us a five star review.
It's how other people learn about the show and how we can
spread the word. If you don't feel like it's
worthy of five stars, just go ahead.
Don't leave any review at all. And I want to let you know that
(23:31):
we've opened up a few slots in our exclusive community.
We're accepting applications to join our select group of men and
experience the radical power of accountability.
Step up your game. Cross every.
Off your sexual bucket list and become a beast at accomplishing
all of your goals. To learn more and apply, go to
innerconfidence.com/community.
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