This Complex Life

Therapy is often described as a safe and healing space, but that’s not always the reality. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Carrie Wiita, adjunct professor, consultant, and creator of Interpersonal Branding, to explore what bad therapy can teach us about being better therapists and more empowered clients.

We talked about what happens when therapy misses the mark, why repair skills are crucial, and how both thera...

Lessons learned from Very Bad Therapy. The Very Bad Therapy podcast has changed the way I think about therapy and the stories we do and do not tell. This episode is a replay from Inside Social Work with hosts Ben and Carrie.

I loved this podcast and I learned so much from listening to it. It speaks to both therapists and non therapists, and it fits perfectly with the theme of This Complex Life. Therapy is difficult, messy, and compl...

Have you ever had a fight with your partner that started over something small but somehow turned into a huge blow up? It’s rarely about the dishes, the bills, or who walked the dog. The way we argue matters more than the content of the fight.

In this solo episode, I talk about the four relationship habits that John and Julie Gottman call the “Four Horsemen”  patterns of conflict that predict relationship distress and even separ...

It doesn’t usually happen with one big fight. Most couples who find themselves feeling distant say it crept up slowly. Busy schedules, kids, work, distractions and one day you realise you’re living more like housemates than partners.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk about why couples drift apart, what research tells us about disconnection, and the small everyday actions that keep love alive.

I share:

• Why disconnection ...

Have you ever tried to explain what’s wrong in your relationship, only to be told you’re overreacting, imagining it, or making it up?

In this episode of This Complex Life, I’m talking about Cassandra Syndrome,  the experience of feeling unheard, dismissed, or invisible in your own reality. While it’s often linked to partners of people with autism, ADHD, or other neurodivergence, the truth is it can show up in any relationship d...

What if your dream job stopped feeling like a dream? What if suicide prevention strategies missed the voices of those who know it best? And what if modern masculinity was being reshaped right in front of us?

In this Weekly Wrap, I explore three powerful stories making headlines in mental health and relationships. From rethinking passion at work, to placing lived experience at the heart of suicide prevention, to conversations about m...

What emotional relationships with chatbots reveal about loneliness, safety, and the fear of real intimacy

Someone recently said their AI companion understands them more than their actual partner. That it listens, responds with care, and never judges. For them, it felt like love. But is it?

In this episode of This Complex Life, I’m looking at the growing number of people forming emotional connections with chatbots. Some call it compan...

AI affairs, vanishing therapy clinics, and phones before age 13

Cheating with a chatbot. Therapy clinics shutting almost overnight. And new research on what smartphones are doing to young people’s mental health. These stories aren’t just news headlines. They are real issues showing up in therapy sessions and kitchen table conversations.

Here’s what stood out this week:

Chatbots and cheating

More people are forming emotional bonds with ...

Affairs grab our attention. Whether it’s someone in the news or a friend of a friend, we tune in, pass judgement, or quietly reflect on our own relationships. But what is it that makes cheating stories so captivating?

In this episode, I talk about why we care so much about other people’s affairs. I explore how unmet needs, identity, and longing can show up in relationships. I unpack what betrayal can do to a person’s sense of self, ...

When a breakup becomes life-threatening, why the Coldplay affair is stirring up fears about trust and betrayal, and what teens are really saying about how technology is affecting their mental health.

This week:

Men, separation and suicide risk

New research from Orygen shows separated men are up to nine times more likely to die by suicide. We explore why this matters and what support is available.

→ Orygen summary

→ Full paper

The Cold...

Not every uncomfortable feeling in a relationship is a warning sign. Sometimes it’s about growth, not danger.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I explore how to tell the difference between genuine red flags and the emotional discomfort that comes with learning, stretching, and getting close to someone. From conflict to communication styles to how we ask for space, not everything unfamiliar is unsafe.

We talk about the moments tha...

Not all red flags are loud or obvious. Some show up in small, repeated moments that leave you feeling uneasy.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I unpack 10 relationship red flags you shouldn’t ignore. These aren’t just the dramatic ones like cheating or lying, they’re the quieter patterns that can slowly wear you down over time.

I talk about how to tell the difference between a red flag and a misunderstanding, what emotional safe...

Love matters, but without trust, relationships can’t feel safe.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I will share what happens when couples love each other deeply but still feel disconnected. We often think love will carry us through anything, but when trust is missing, the relationship can start to erode.

I share why trust breaks down (even without betrayal), how to recognise the small moments that matter, and what you can do to st...

It’s hard to watch your child struggle to make friends. You might feel stuck between wanting to help and not wanting to push too hard.

In this episode of This Complex Life, I answer a listener’s question "Hi Marie. My daughter has trouble making friends. We really pinned all our hopes and things changing when she started high school this year, but it has come around to the school holidays again and she is feeling sad and lonely. I d...

Why We Avoid Talking About S3x (And How to Start)

Conversations about sex often feel awkward, avoidant or emotionally loaded. I talk about what’s happening underneath the surface, how gender myths and pressure shape desire, and what couples can do to reconnect with honesty and care.

In this episode, I share :

• How emotional safety shapes intimacy
• What’s really behind avoidance in long-term relationships
• Gender myths and pressure ...

What if your therapist just gets it and you don’t have to explain everything from scratch?

That’s what this episode is all about. I sat down with Tham Fuyana, Social Worker  family Therapist and Educator, to talk about what it’s like navigating therapy as a BIPOC client. 

BIPOC stands for Black, Indigenous, and people/ person of colour 

In this episode, Tham shares his reflections growing up as a Black migrant, navigati...

Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough, even when you're doing all the right things? In this conversation with psychologist Belinda Gibson, we explore the roots of that persistent feeling of inadequacy. We unpack how perfectionism, people-pleasing and harsh self-talk can sneak into our lives and affect our relationships, even when we don’t realise it.

We talk about where these beliefs start, how they show up, and what you...

Do you overthink everything? Lie awake, running through worst-case scenarios?

Worry can be exhausting. It often shows up as planning, perfectionism, or a loop of “what if” thoughts that are hard to switch off. In this episode, I’m joined by clinical psychologist Dr Lillian Nejad to talk about what worry really is, how it differs from anxiety, and why some people find it so difficult to stop.

We explore how worry can sometimes be help...

What happens when society changes faster than young people can adapt?

I’m joined by psychologist Jamie Maserow to explore the hidden impacts of lockdowns, remote learning and technology on young people’s wellbeing. We unpack how the disruptions of recent years have shaped mental health, learning, and relationships, and why connection needs to come before correction.

We also talk about why many traditional parenting approaches might n...